Major Microsoft Re-Organization

Robert Scoble writes "Microsoft is unveiling a major reorganization today to help get Vista out the door. Some of the major changes include the appointing of three new officers to the three major divisions. The Microsoft Platform Products & Services Division will be led by Kevin Johnson and Jim Allchin as co-presidents; Jeff Raikes has been named president of the Microsoft Business Division; and Robbie Bach has been named as president of Microsoft Entertainment & Devices Division. In addition, the company said Ray Ozzie will expand his role as chief technical officer by assuming responsibility for helping drive its software-based services strategy and execution across all three divisions."

Find a Chair Before the Tune Stops

[ackthpt]

• Johnson
• Allchin
• Raikes
• Bach
• Ozzie

Take the first letter of each name and you get Jarbo. I think they were going for Jar-Jar,but couldn't quite pull it off without ESR [slashdot.org]

A reshuffle just prior to rolling out a major product launch. I think this bodes poorly. The Street may think this is very proactive and a good move, but I've seen these things from the backend often enough I think it'll only be a matter of time before they're circled like wagons with a bin lid over each's arse end.

in other news...

[sirmalloc]

Linus Torvalds, ESR, and RMS were all appointed as heads of the Window's product group.

Microsoft Reorganizes...

[digital-madman]

In "Unrelated" News:

Microsoft announces major reorganization to open-source on their Windows Vista Product. Source's inside of Microsoft hint at a new CEO to replace the sometimes over-zealous Ballmer. Sources indicate the man's name may be Stallman, or Torvalds... No one would comment on the new CEO. However in a brief statement from a laid off programmer, "I think they let all of us programmers go because of the shift to open source. Because lets face it, everyone can make a better product with those viral and pesty open standards."

More at 11...

Re:Find a Chair Before the Tune Stops

[Zemplar]

No thanks. I'd rather NOT be in a room full of chairs at Microsoft just in case Ballmer walks in.

I wonder.....

[8127972]

..... If this will stop the chair throwing?

Lost its responsive time...

[Dark Coder]

The best way to push a new product out is with loosely coordinated small engines (team leaders) with appropriate small gears (coordinators) interleaving in between the cogs.

Easy and fast to build up... Need more function? just add another wheel. Losing steam? Add another small engine.

What MSFT is doing is adding a gigantic, humonguous, caveman-styled stone wheels (CxOs) that plunders and thunders the country hillsides as it rolls, smothering and trampling all other wheels and cogs in name of progress!

Apparently, they haven't tried eXtreme Programming for the Business Manager (yet).

Reorganization

[Jazzer_Techie]

This reminds me of a Dilbert Cartoon
--
Wally to PHB: I don't understand how the new reorganization will help us "focus on our core business." Did our core business change? Or are you saying that *every* reorg prior to this was a misdirected failure?

PHB: Wally, when a car gets a flat tire, what do you do?

Wally: Well, if I'm you, I rotate the tires and drive home.
--
I think that pretty much says it all.

No, No, No.. you misunderstand..

[schon]

To truly understand the changes here, you must learn what the titles were before they were announced:

CELarry,
CECurly,
and CEMoe.

Umm.. OK, that sounded funnier in my head.

Re:Lost its responsive time...

[mysqlrocks]

Apparently, they haven't tried eXtreme Programming for the Business Manager (yet).

Isn't that what the XP in Windows XP stands for? I thought Microsoft invented eXtreme Programming? j/k

Re:Same old story...

[Pharmboy]

Why do I have these images from "Office Space" running through my head? So who at Microsoft has a red stapler anyway?

Steve Balmer's new title:

[Anonymous Coward]

Chair-man.

Tip your waitresses! I'll be here all week!

Re:Same old story...

[RollingThunder]

Ballmer used to, but then some guys swiped it and took it to Google.

Re:Reorganization

[crimethinker]

I remember that cartoon. (In fact, I cut it out of the newspaper and laminated it. I still have it in my home office.) The strip was part of a series that was published right around the time Word Perfect was whacking 20% of its Utah-based workforce. Everyone who worked there was nervous, and everyone who didn't work there was worried that the newly-unemployed 20% were going to glut the local market and make it harder to find decent jobs. (There's a whole sidebar here about how tech jobs in Utah Valley are TEH SUX0R compared to almost anywhere else. Let's just say I doubled my salary by leaving, and not to an area with 2x the cost of living. Supply and demand, my friend.)

One or two days previous to this strip, there was another one, a meeting of managers. I don't remember the dialogue, but it went something like:

"Hey, Bob, you don't look so good. Are you feeling okay?"
"No, all of my bad decisions are coming back to haunt me. Could we do a re-org?"
"Great idea! I've got a few skeletons I wouldn't mind burying, too!"

/me sheds a tear

-paul

Re:Find a Chair Before the Tune Stops

[ackthpt]

No thanks. I'd rather NOT be in a room full of chairs at Microsoft just in case Ballmer walks in.

Yeah, but maybe Jarbo is like a big transformer, you know, and can fend him off!

"Release that chair, scurilous villain!"

I think this should be called Microsoft: The Jarbo Era

Leak Of Ballmer's Office Memo:

[Winckle]

10 print "Re-Organization!" 20 goto 10

So THAT'S why closed source is better than FOSS!

[RenQuanta]

They can re-org to get their products out the door! A clear sign of the efficiency, productivity, and qualtiy that can only be achieved in a hierarchical, proprietary shop.

No wonder Windows is so much better than Linux. You don't see Linus doing that kind of organizational work, now do you? :P Wouldn't it be great if he could? Too bad he can't cause it's Open Source. (Damned hippie commies!) Maybe if he could, then Linux could keep pace with the Windows release cycle...!

I guess that means we'll be seeing Vista any day now.

...That's right! Annnny day now.....

Re:Find a Chair Before the Tune Stops

[Anonymous Coward]

What do you mean "just in case Balmer walks in"? Who do you think will be removing a chair after the musak restarts each round?

Re:Conspiracy theory

[Soko]

The others report to the CEO (Ballmer). Sounds to me as though the next CEO will be Rudder or Ozzie, but I'm on the record suggesting Ballmer was never the right person for the CEO spot in the first place. Maybe the Vista delays were the final straw for the board, so the directors are setting up for the inevitable succession.

Or maybe they're setting up for Ballmer getting jail time for accidentally braining someone with a chair while ranting about how he's "going to fucking kill Google" or somesuch...

solution: yell louder

[wardk]

they should quit being namby pamby managers and start cracking the damn whip over there.

lots of yelling and screaming, that always works.

maybe toss a chair. threaten some air supplies and such

that will get them over the hump

Re:Same old story...

[sconeu]

So what's he going to use to staple the proper cover on his TPS reports?

Re:Going the wrong direction

[Spy der Mann]

Adding more bureaucracy doesnt help anything, especially in an organization already totally overbloated.

From the summary:

"...for helping drive its software-based services strategy and execution across all three divisions."

And what's their software-based services strategy? Overbloat, i.e. Office. Everything fits! :)

Re-organization?

[Gobelet]

They bought a bunch of "Learning to code" Boardgames, so they found out who actually coded and who was there only to clean the keyboards, but pressed the keys in a certain order that produced code ;)

Re:Find a Chair Before the Tune Stops

[Jesus_666]

But Steve Ballmer can bury anyone he wants! Steve Ballmer throws chairs all the time and doesn't even think twice about it. This guy is so crazy and awesome that he flips out ALL the time. I heard that Steve Ballmer was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon Steve Ballmer buried the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw Steve Ballmer totally throw a chair at some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re:Lost its responsive time...

[sapped]

Apparently, they haven't tried eXtreme Programming for the Business Manager (yet).

They must be the only company not have gone that route yet. Every company I have worked for seems to think that having two managers watch me at the same time somehow improves my efficiency.

Re:Conspiracy theory

[sd_diamond]

The others report to the CEO (Ballmer). Sounds to me as though the next CEO will be Rudder or Ozzie, but I'm on the record suggesting Ballmer was never the right person for the CEO spot in the first place. Maybe the Vista delays were the final straw for the board, so the directors are setting up for the inevitable succession.

ObJonStewartLine: "Ballmer stated that he wants to spend more time compromising his family's security."

Re:Hasta La Vista, Baby!

[Tankko]

This sounds like a great idea. How much do I get paid? Is there backend? Health plan?