Nerds Make Better Lovers

ultimabaka writes "The New York Daily News, fine bastion of reporting that it is, released an article today discussing the rise of nerd popularity among women in general, and famous women in particular. Detail is given into the dating exploits of Christina Aguilera and Elin Nordegren (nerdy Tiger Woods' supermodel squeeze), among a bunch of regular Janes. Apparently being a nerd is now in?"

Re:Tiger Woods?

[gstoddart]

So being a rich, well-televised sports figure now makes you a nerd? Interesting.

My thoughts exactly. At 6'2 180lbs he's hardly a little guy.

And except that he hasn't got a bad-boy image, and seems a genuinely nice-guy with some actual talent ... nerd sounds like an awful stretch.

Re:naturally...

[jallen02]

OK.. spaces are not valid for identifiers.

Try (good_breadwinner + good_hair + muscles) or in Java style, (goodBreadwinner + goodHair + muscles).

;)

J

Re:naturally...

[bhtooefr]

I thought VB didn't allow spaces...

Ah... here it is (Programming in Visual Basic .NET, Bradley & Millspaugh):

A programmer has to name (identify) the variables and named constants that will be used in a project. Basic requires identifiers for variables and named constants to follow these rules: names may consist of letters, digits, and underscores; they must begin with a letter; they cannot contain any spaces or periods; and they may not be reserved words.

(my emphasis)

So, no, that's not even valid VB variable naming ;-) (Of course, that's nowhere near VB syntax - VB's ruined me with = being used for both assignment and equality testing - I haven't even touched VB in forever, and I STILL accidentally use = for equality testing in Python (Python requires ==))

FWIW, to get back on topic, I've almost gotten a girl BECAUSE I'm a geek (and she most definitely wasn't, FWIW). Then, I try to get the girl with a few geek qualities (but not a geek), and... that didn't work. At least she's a good friend... </rant>

Re:Tiger Woods?

[endoboy]

might want to brush up on your history--the Romans didn't manage to conquer Scotland

come on!

[MarcoAtWork]

don't tell me you haven't yet figured out that for things to be very enjoyable for the majority of women (there are exceptions, but they are few and far between) you *do* need to use your fingers (in the manner implied) while you use the other parts you mentioned. Not to mention that having dexterous fingers is definitely an asset in 'warming things up' before 'progressing' to said parts.

Re:naturally...

[CFTM]

Actually this is a difference between men and women, this is not a difference between geeks and non-geeks. When men talk about their problems, they tend to do it in order to come up with concrete solutions to the problem. Women view it more as a means of clearing the air and putting things on the table; she wants you to listen not give advice. It's just a difference in the way that men and women communicate [this statement is based on the norm, there are exceptions and it is not the case with everything but there are indeed psycological studies to back this up].

Re:Tiger Woods?

[Anonymous Coward]

Odd, given that I am 5'9" and 140lbs and am considered "skinny" since I have a 29" waist. I guess 5" and 40lbs more and I could be a fat ass. Schweet.

Re:Tiger Woods?

[dlZ]

I'm 6'1" and 155 pounds, and I'm skinny as hell. 6'2" and 180 pounds isn't really that big. I definetely don't have a 300 lb bench, either. I top off at around 150 if I don't want to hurt myself (and that's like once or twice, not really what I lift if I want get a work out and not leave myself injured.)

A couple notes

[Anonymous Coward]

Things I wish I had really figured out earlier:

1) Don't stink. Yes, I know you can't tell. Nerd types have had enough cool things happen (code compiled, game beaten, etc) while utterly reeking that we lose the automatic association between hygiene and effective living. I'm serious, everyone else has it, we don't. So just accept:

a) In the morning, you must:
i: Shower. Soap everywhere. It's better to annoy people with longer showers than to annoy them with too short ones. A shower radio can help (this one has MP3 [cctvproducts.com] and a mirror for shaving!).
ii: Brush your teeth and use Listerine. At least occasionally floss.
iii: Put on underarm deodorant. I recommend antiperspirant gels. If you have recurring, serious problems anywhere you sweat alot -- it's fungus, and it needs to die. Tinactin works. If you're out in public, and realize your underarms stink -- squeeze teabags under your armpits in the bathroom. Works well (thank you, worse case scenario guide to sex and dating). Oh, those new body sprays (Axe, etc) may be budget cologne, but reactions to them ain't bad. Don't wear too much of it, though, and no it's not a replacement for a shower.
iv: Wear clean clothes. Your pants and your jacket are the only thing you can re-wear. Everything else goes in the biohazard pile.

b) After school or after work, if you're going out anywhere you need to impress anyone, you are generally expected to do all the above again. Annoying, sure. But even if you don't stink by dinner, you may start ripening by bedtime.

c) Your clothes must fit. Baggy is vastly better than too tight. Can't emphasize this enough. Wear a belt; people really hate seeing asscrack. Don't wear corporate tech t-shirts you got at a trade show, except for Google. They're an exception that proves the rule. Speaking of clothes, no visible pit stains, and if it's ever really, really stunk -- it needs to be washed in hot water, generally with bleach, or the bacteria and fungi that eat your sweat will be primed and ready to excrete the stuff that actually stinks. This is the idea behind undershirts and underwear, by the way. The bleach and hot water make your colored stuff fade.

Regarding wardrobe issues -- girls do like shopping with guys (Ken doll, they're not paying, get to be useful, etc), but you actually can't say things like "I dunno, whatever." Feedback is necessary, even if you don't actually know or care. So say things like, "Bring me two or three things, and I'll tell you which is my favorite of them." You actually get to be honest here -- she'll like all three, this ain't the SAT -- but be confident in whatever you answer, and frankly, it doesn't matter that much so answer quickly.

Shoes matter an absurd amount. Exercise shoes (Nike, Reebok) are only to be worn during exercise.

Regarding diet and exercise -- Atkins does work, but alot of people do end up sick (I was the biggest defender of the program ... couple days in the hospital disabused me of that notion). Do limit beer, bread, pasta, potatoes, and sugared candy though. Rum and Diet Coke can become the standard substitute for beer, and chicken on the Foreman grill can replace random microwave food amazingly well.

Exercise, it sucks, I know, they lie. But there's a trick: GBA/PSP while pedaling on a stationary bike works shockingly well, especially while playing an RPG.

If you've got some cash, getting a recumbent exercise bike and plopping it in front of your PS2/Xbox works really well too. Just link gaming to pedaling, and your body will think it's enjoying pedaling while your mind is enjoying the game. Weird, but it happens.

Just remember -- exercise is indeed boring, but it's a lot better than eight hours a day of hard labor.

d) This won't fix everything. There's a world of social learning you need to do. You can't learn the social elements from a Slashdot post (though I

Re:Diary

[Anonymous Coward]

Hate to ruin your glory, but it's not a new joke.

http://www.clubrwd.com/forums/index.php?s=424bf804 07c9a28cd1b6e2e10cd11440&showtopic=268 [clubrwd.com]

You can find various other incarnations of it out there.

I'm a GEEK, damn it, not a nerd!

[Anonymous Coward]

So, anyway, I was sitting in my usual bar, using the WiFi I had set up for them, and drinking Guinness.

Along came a lady.

She was attracted to me for some reason (she thinks I'm really cute), she bought me drinks, she ASKED ME OUT, and we've been together for nearly a year now.

Oh, did I mention she is really hot, sexy, smart, creative, and more than fifteen years younger than I am? Has more formal education than I, earns more money?

There's hope for you, my fellow geeks!

OUT OF MOM'S BASEMENT AND INTO THE STREETS!

Re:Diary

[Gudlyf]

That was funnier the first time [office-humour.co.uk] I saw it elsewhere [boreme.com]. But hey, they copied it from somewhere so why shouldn't you?

Re:naturally...

[Lemmy Caution]

There's a difference between introversion and shyness. I'm an introvert. I'm not shy. I can go to a party, make friends, go out and play. I just find it generally tiring to do so, and find it energizing to spend time in more intimate settings. Someone who suffers from shyness may, in fact, very much want to socialize with others, but has a kind of social deficit or block against doing so fluently.

A shy person may, in fact, really be an extrovert at heart, but be unable to act on it. One can deal with the shyness by treating it as a cognitive-behavioral problem, and one can still be introverted and have a healthy social (and romantic) life, just as many extroverts can get the benefits of time by themselves, although eventually they will feel drained if they do not get some social input.

The energy issue is distinct from the question of inhibition.

FYI

[DaEMoN128]

there are even romance novels about nerds, so my wife informs me. Something about "Nerd in shining armor by Vicki Lewis Thompson".

geek != guy

[truffle]

The entire article reeked of the assumption that geeks are men.

At least bother to state "male geeks" if that's what you're going to talk about.

Nerds or ugly rich guys?

[Retired Replicant]

Is it the nerdliness, or just the bank account? Hot chicks hooking up with ugly rich guys is nothing new.

Re:Confidence is earned, you don't just grow it.

[Anonymous Coward]

I am confident in my work. Did I just "try" and then gain it? No. I was given a shot by someone.
(...)
On the other hand, I have never had a girlfriend.
(...)
I have never tasted success, so how do they expect me to have confidence?

You might gain it just the same way as you did at work. What you need is the experience of success. Do not wait for the one big success. Make small steps, they are more likely to be successful. A few suggestions:

• Learn the subtleties of clothing well: colors, patterns, styles; and apply them to yourself. There should be books on that subject matter. Do not reproduce the pictures you find in there. Rather, understand the ideas and then slightly squeeze and bend them. Try to be special in some detail. Wear e.g. an unusual tie. This will take you some time, and you will need to spend some money on it, but it's fun. If you can, find a native Italian to help you, or a store that has an Italian sales clerk. Making a "bella figura" is kind of popular sports in Italy. They know how it works.
• Now go out and show off. Expose yourself to the general public. Go fishing for smiles and compliments. Learn to look right into the eyes of strangers. (Avoid male, 7" body builder types. They might interpret your gaze in a way that would make you less confident in the end.) Learn to look away only after she did. Notice how they react to what you do. Enjoy their smiles. They mean you, yes, you! After all, who else could be wearing such a nice tie? Focus on those that react to your presence and behavior in some noticeable way.
• Start playing. Slightly modify your behavior and look what happens.

Do this for a while. This alone will not get you a girl friend, but it will make you more confident. You are now a handsome guy who receives smiles from complete strangers. Congratulations, you have mastered level 1. Ready for new challenges?

• Remember those complete strangers smiling at you for no apparent reason? Could they possibly be ... interested in you in any way? Go find out. A smile is an indication of interest. Don't take it too seriously; it doesn't mean she is ready to fsck you. But she is more likely to become that those that entirely ignored you (and are now ignored by you, after you have mastered level 1). Learn to approach them. This means you need to start a conversation. Can't be that difficult. After all they are interested or at least, expose a friendly attitude towards you.
• Learn to keep a conversation going. This is not about talking her into your bedroom. It is about finding out more about each other. Learn to close a conversation. Learn to indicate that you would like to continue it some time in the future. Learn to make specific suggestions. Learn to present yourself as an interesting person.
• Learn to have fun with women that are not and will never become your girl friend. This makes you more comfortable around women, and if your are just friends they might tell you things that help you you to understand how women think. You might even be able ask them for advice, or play flirtatious games. After all, you are just friends. No danger for none of you. This way you might learn e.g. to deliver compliments in such a way that women actually do enjoy them.
• Accept the fact that many kinds of relationships are possible between a man and a woman. (That's something I learned from a female friend.) Learn to enjoy all kinds. Do not focus too much on your far goal of getting laid. Do not fear failure. You know that you can sustain rejection, don't you?

Again, do this for a while. This alone will not get you a girl friend, but it will make you more confident. You are now a handsome guy who receives smiles from complete strangers, starts conversations with them, and has a couple of female friends. Implicitly, you also gained some knowledge on what turns women on and what doesn't. Congratulations, you have

Re:Wrong snack...

[Joe U]

It's actually a skit by the Dead Alewives, which was featured on Dr. Demento YEARS before the 'Summoner movie' came around.

The skit is better, the whole thing is supposed to be a warning about D&D, 'Satan's Game'.

I remember hearing it for the first time while driving from Oklahoma City to Wichita to catch the train to Chicago...

(Hmm...reading that back...Too geeky, even for me AND this article...must make sure to click post anonymously.)

Re:Tiger Woods?

[ErroneousBee]

You need to brush up on yours, theres forts and whatnot near aberdeen, and they mapped the Orkneys.

http://www.roman-britain.org/places/_roman_britain _layermap.htm [roman-britain.org]