Nerds Make Better Lovers

ultimabaka writes "The New York Daily News, fine bastion of reporting that it is, released an article today discussing the rise of nerd popularity among women in general, and famous women in particular. Detail is given into the dating exploits of Christina Aguilera and Elin Nordegren (nerdy Tiger Woods' supermodel squeeze), among a bunch of regular Janes. Apparently being a nerd is now in?"

naturally...

[professorhojo]

Of course we're better lovers.. it's because (among other things):

- we don't sleep around
- we're generally good at the things we try
- we can concentrate, dammit!
- we have *excellent* finger dexterity :-D
- and most importantly, we have imagination!

more here [everything2.com] >>

Woohoo!

[lewp]

The day is mine!

small correction :P

[blackicye]

_rich_ nerds make better "lovers"

Thats good news for me.

[Cowclops]

Kiss me, I'm a nerd.

Re:naturally...

[julesh]

- we have *excellent* finger dexterity :-D

Particularly those of us who also play guitar. :)

Of course...

[OS24Ever]

Sure, they figure it out now that I'm married and totally committed, but noooooo, 15 years ago when I was 18 and single no one figured it out.

It sucks to be a trailblazer sometimes. You young nerds got it easy. Back in my day a cute girlfriend was GIF pr0n & a bottle of lotion.

Re:naturally...

[dreamchaser]

Yes, all true, but there are things that take points away like living in Mom's basement, having pasty white skin, and living off of caffeine and doritos.

Great News

[JJ]

After years of hiding my computer literacy, learning to be sensistive, eye surgery to remove the glasses and working out six days a week I learn that I should have perfected my C++ programming instead to get the babes!!!

I know its a bad pun, but....

[AviN456]

Only a geek knows how to fsck well.

Diary

[ackthpt]

HER DIARY:

Saturday, May 21st 2005

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong. He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in; he hesitated but followed. I asked him again if there was something the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about 10 minutes of Silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile. He didn't follow me up but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and I started to think that he was going to leave me and that he had found someone else. I cried myself to sleep.

MAN'S DIARY:

Saturday, May 21st 2005

Apple switched to Intel.

Absolutely gutted.

Got a shag though.

Re:naturally...

[Datamonstar]

Or the saxophone, then you get the tounging down well, too. ;)

Report From Where I'm At

[BRock97]

Apparently being a nerd is now in?

Let me check my messages.....

0. Nope, still the status quo here!

So now it's more like this?

[TheCreeep]

Her: Make love to me! Him: Sorry I gotta configure my kernel and then recompile it with -O3. Her: Baby you drive me wild. *jumps on him*

Re:naturally...

[lewp]

Hey, I'm willing to share my Doritos with the ladies.

Re:Just after I got castrated!

[Soko]

You idiot, it's UNIX, not Eunuchs!

I will say what you did took some, er.... Nevermind.

Soko

OQ!

[garcia]

Revenge of the Nerds [imdb.com]:

Louis: Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex.

Re:naturally...

[It doesn't come easy]

You get Doritos?

Re:naturally...

[TheCreeep]

"He has the fingers of a Geek God!"

Re:Of course...

[Anonymous Coward]

You had GIF?

We just had ASCII art from overprinting characters on green-bar with chain printers!!

GIF pr0n & a bottle of lotion?

[Anonymous Coward]

meh! You had it easy! We had ASCII art & a bag of sawdust!

Re:naturally...

[Nindukugga]

Not to mention the ones of us who play the harmonica...

Re:Nerds Make Better Lovers???

[SeattleGameboy]

You sir, are either a sham or an impostor.

Re:naturally...

[Peeps In Da House]

What does finger dexterity have to do with anything? Unless you're planning on having calculator races... Fun, but I haven't done that in years, not since I gave up my TI-92 for a HP48G. Girls used to love my mad skillz!

Re:naturally...

[professorhojo]

> What does finger dexterity have to do with anything?

you ... really .. can't think of .. *anything*?

Re:naturally...

[adapt]

So I was not alone in envying the guy that gets Doritos. I will trade my attick for his basement if I can get spicy dip sauce :)

Occam's Razor...

[Embedded Geek]

When multiple explanations are available for a phenomenon, the simplest version is preferred.

Thus, we can conclude that IT security at the New York Daily News is lax and some "nerd" has figured out a way to post prank stories. Expect a deluge of stories about the Duke Nukem Forever release party.

Re:Tiger Woods?

[Nindukugga]

You obviously never heard that Tiger Woods finished nethack at 9 under par...

Re:Female Logic

[Irish_Samurai]

Do what I did, emulate a scumbag.

Re:naturally...

[Leroy_Brown242]

Also geeks have the tendancy to study up on stuff. So we don't use trial and error as much as your average meat head.

See porn is research! :)

Not to mention

[MrHanky]

We are certain to have the biggest hard drives, and the longest uptime.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Diary

[Leroy_Brown242]

Your writing scares me.

If this were really true...

[scorp1us]

Star Wars movie openings and Trek conventions would be known as hot singles nights.

Dressing up for movie oenings (LotR, SW, ST) would be considered "men in uniform" and be totally irresistable... unless you're Chewbacca.

Hard drive size WOULD matter, not how fragmentented it is.

I would be getting laid.

Re:naturally...

[lupinstel]

Yeah, his mom will give you Doritos.

Re:Female Logic

[Jackie_Chan_Fan]

So after all of those bastards get through with the young hot chicks, us nerds get the old washed up hags looking for stablity because they can no longer shake their ass for young bad boys.

No fucking thanks.

Re:Tiger Woods?

[schon]

As others have pointed out, golf is not a sport.

Golf is a game. Tennis is a sport.

To qualify as a sport, you must sweat.

Golf is a scottish practical joke played on the rest of the world, kind of like snipe hunting or curling. It began when the Romans, after conquering Scotland, asked "so, what do you guys do for fun around here?"

Re:Just after I got castrated!

[falzer]

Man, you've got balls.

Re:naturally...

[sputnikid]

That brings up an interesting point.

How is finger dexterity supposed to help if you have never handled the "instrument" before?

Re:But seriously, SHOWER!

[Jackie_Chan_Fan]

All of the above is true. I should know because i meet none of those requirements and i'm a lonely loser.

Such is life... the ever fleeting depression :)

I'll never have confidence, I have no idea what a balanced life is.... And here I am whining about it.

Not a girl around me, and none who care to be around me.

Oh well. Truth hurts but its true atleast :)

Re:naturally...

[Reverend528]

A lot of this depends on the type of geek.

• Smalltalk geeks are good at conversation, but not much else
• Java geeks don't mind a girl who is needlessly complicated
• Lisp programmers will probably try to change anything about you that doesn't fit their design goals
• Kernel hackers are only interested in your internals
• vim users seem preoccupied with the colon
• Perl Geeks will remain loyal after 20 years, no matter how unattractive you become in that time

Re:But seriously, SHOWER!

[adapt]

Those are pertinent observations. But "nerds" and "nerds" with mental / behavioural problems is not the same thing! Unfortunately, I would classify myself as the latter type, altough in recovery. A radical overhaul of my life started after some personal problems that seriously affected my performance at work. I am almost the old lovable "nerd" that I was, and in the process I have landed a nice job, and a hot girlfriend. Having found the balance between work and family/personal life did wonders for me. She knows zilch about technology and computers, but likes to have somebody around that can fix stuff and explain her the wonders of the computer world. Nevertheless, I think she values more the long-term relationship and commitment than the 3:24 of pleasure with the pool boy or the drummer...

PS I think the article is total BS, it would only be credible if Carmen Electra would elope to Vegas with RMS and webcast the wedding from inside the Elvis chappel :)

My take...

[ChaosCube]

I'm extraordinarily attractive, and a genius to boot. The great thing is, I'm not the least bit cocky about it. Women love that.

Re:naturally...

[Jaysyn]

Can your tongue hit the old G-Spot? Unless you're Gene Simmons, the answer is no. As for the genitals, well that's a case by case basis I'd guess...

Re:naturally...

[Professor_UNIX]

Don't forget we're more efficient so sexual intercourse only takes a minute or two and then we can go back to work. Oh wait, better for the WOMAN?

WoW

[notcreative]

Things to think about once my paladin hits level 60.

Re:naturally...

[jacksonj04]

We learn quickly. If we can tell something is wrong with a PC just because it's humming at the wrong pitch, we learn we're doing something right to a women by listening to the murmurs, moans, whimpers and, if you're good, screams.

Re:Tiger Woods?

[Fallingcow]

"There's only one actor I know of who's a bonafide nerd, and I can't remember his name right now (but he does have a rather clever nickname, I recall)."

Come on, now! This suspense is *crushing* us! Hurry up and remember, or we'll all have to Trek to your house and make you tell us! Ick, I hope you don't live in a wheat field, I'm alergic to it!

...

Ok, I'm done.

Re:naturally...

[pLnCrZy]

How apropos...

A /. thread about geeks and the opposite sex turns into an argument about coding syntax...

Re:just make sure

[kingjosh]

oh yeah, and if you're a girl who is going to cheat on a nerd, you're going to get caught. Especially if you use any form of electronic communication in your filandering, duh. Honestly though, if you marry someone with incredibly strong analytical skills and you try to sneak things by them they will quietly figure it out. So if you're going to be a cheating bitch, perhaps you should marry some asshole player or just hang out at the clubs, get wasted and rub up against the other amazingly successful cooks and drunks out there. Do I sound bitter? Hope all is well in Tucson Sandra! Bitch.

Re:naturally...

[MutantHamster]

And if you play the drums... aw, damnit!

Re:naturally...

[Anonymous Coward]

In Soviet Russia, the ladies share Doritos with _you_!

Re:naturally...

[failure-man]

Woo! I'm a nerd and ambidexterous. I've gotta be the absolute best around.

Hey Slashdot ladies: I'm perfectly willing to make my email public. ;)

* crickets *

Aw man.

Re:Of course...Dude!

[mr_z_beeblebrox]

Back in my day a cute girlfriend was GIF pr0n & a bottle of lotion.

I'm dating your' ex!

had to be said...

[tomcode]

Talk nerdy to me.

Re:naturally...

[Narchie Troll]

"Sex Tips for Geeks" can make a strong man cry and have terrible nightmares of a hairy gnome talking about the clitoris.

Brrrr. Creepy.

Re:naturally...

[Anonymous Custard]

Or those of us hendrix fans who play guitar with our mouth.

Re:WoW

[Anonymous Coward]

Nah, because you'll be too busy leveling a character you won't positively hate playing. Most paladins I know get bored shortly after the free mule, when they start seeing that all they do is hit 3 buttons over and over again without really having alot of room for creative thinking. The ones who make it to 60 generally end up running instances til they have about half their set gear, then switching to something else and only playing paladin when they're nagged to do so.

That said, my ladyfriend doesn't *hate* WoW yet, but she knows I'll drop anything except a scheduled MC raid for her (and even that if there's a good reason to though I hate leaving 30+ people 1 healer -- and guild leader -- short.)

Re:naturally...

[Anonymous Coward]

i dont think youll be getting alot of girls with the nickname FAILURE-MAN

Re:naturally...

[dextroz]

Hey someone with points mod this guy up to insightful!!!

Re:naturally...

[josquin00]

So, where did I go wrong?!

Playing the violin.

It could be worse - you could play the Euphonium like me.

Re:naturally...

[Lord Kano]

Yes, all true, but there are things that take points away like living in Mom's basement, having pasty white skin, and living off of caffeine and doritos.

I'm black, you insensitive clod.

LK

Re:But seriously, SHOWER!

[Garabito]

3) Complaining/whining is not attractive. Some geeks have very bitter personalities and spend a lot of time whining about how the world would be a better place if only this or that.

Then, what are you doing here?

geek breakup lines

[Anonymous Coward]

Geek Break Up Lines

11. (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? R
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? R
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail? F
Relationship failed.
10. Now that Half Life 2 is out, I need to refocus my priorities.
9. You have been unsubscribed from my dating list. Please click this link to confirm.
8. I need a lover who understands that 20 hours a day on the Internet is normal.
7. I don't think we should date any more, but we can still be on each other's buddy lists.
6. I'd like a true beauty so I don't have to spend so much time photoshopping your ugly face out of our photos.
5. It's like in X-Men number 135, where Cyclops and Jean Grey (as The Phoenix)...
4. Let's face it. You love Intel, and I'm an AMD man. It's not going to work out.
3. What do you mean your EULA says that once I've removed the shrink wrap I can't return it?
2. After you e-mailed me your full-body shot, I realized I was looking
for someone more feminine
1. So long and thanks for all the fish.

reminds me of a joke I once heard...

[the-build-chicken]

An artist, lawyer and programmer are sitting at a pub, having a few drink and soon the conversation turns towards cheating on their wives.

The lawyer pipes up. "Don't do it guys, I don't care how pretty she is. I see this every day in my profession, some fool cheats on his wife with some pretty little thing, she finds out, before you know it he's lost half his house, half his assets, half his future paycheck and can't even see his kids any more...And with all that stress, it's just not worth it."

Then the artist pipes in. "no no no no...life is for living...how can you live in fear like that. Imagine the romance...the passion...the secrecy and mystery. That is what life is about my friend, who cares if you get caught, life should be lived dangerously and passionately."

The programmer looks up over his glasses and says "yeah, I've got mistress...have had one for quite a few years now".

The lawyer and artist are shocked. The certainly wouldn't have expected that from thier geeky little friend. The artist pipes up:

"Oh my friend...tell us, what's it like. Are you always stressed out worried about what you could loose...is it passionate and wonderful...what?"

The programmer looks up again and say "It's great...best thing I've every done.........wife thinks I'm with the girlfriend, girlfriend thinks I'm with the wife, I can go get some coding done."

boom tish :)

Re:naturally...

[Tackhead]

> "Sex Tips for Geeks" can make a strong man cry and have terrible nightmares of a hairy gnome talking about the clitoris.

I just had a vision of RMS screaming "That's GNU/Clitoris, you insensitive clod!"

And since I'm not sure the battery acid will be enough to erase it, I figured I'd share the misery.

Re:naturally...

[attam]

Would you date a girl that would likely require you to move into her 12x10 bedroom with cinderella sheets, n'sync posters, barbies on the shelves and her nutty parents across the hallway? How she looks and acts would barely come into play.

Yes.

My mom was right?

[ShyGuy91284]

You mean my mom was right when she said they would like me when I was older? Damn....

Re:naturally...

[krewemaynard]

GAH! No way! Tesla [teslatheband.com] SUCKED!

Re:naturally...

[Anonymous Custard]

depends how far we've overclocked our GF.

And by GF I mean girlfriend, not GeForce :-)

Re:naturally...

[Dunkirk]

Since when did the Penthouse Forums start cross-posting to Slashdot?!

Re:Thats good news for me.

[TCM]

This brings us to our next subject. Nerds and spelling . . . :)

Re:But seriously, SHOWER!

[Koiu Lpoi]

Wait...

you're female...

you're trying to piss off the religious right...

you want quirky guys...

you're posting on slashdot...

So, how many marriage proposals have you gotten so far? My bet's on 14.

Re:naturally...

[mathmathrevolution]

"Would you date a girl that would likely require you to move into her 12x10 bedroom with cinderella sheets, n'sync posters, barbies on the shelves and her nutty parents across the hallway?"

Sure, anything to get me out of my parents basement.

Re:Oh, fer frack's sake...

[Anonymous Coward]

Legalize prostitution and the problem is solved.

Re:Well congatulations.

[ai-rupe]

Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention. Answer as quickly as you can.

In a magazine you come across a full-page photo of a nude girl. You show the picture to your husband. He likes it and hangs it on the wall. The girl is lying on a bearskin rug.

How do you react?

Re:Oh, fer frack's sake...

[Anonymous Coward]

Ever notice how shortly after women got the vote, prostitution was made illegal most places?