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It's funny.  Laugh. Communications

How To Make Friends on the Telephone 327

Dan writes "What a wonderful find--it seems since the internet, we've forgotten the correct way to communicate with people. So here is a book to teach us the proper etiquette, as well as how to handle complex modern communications devices."
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How To Make Friends on the Telephone

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  • who uses a phone? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by spacerodent ( 790183 ) on Saturday July 10, 2004 @03:01PM (#9662069)
    prank calls are pretty much all I use a phone for nowdays. Anything important gets logged via email or some propritary messaging service the company gives out so theres no claiming you never saw/heard it or any ambigutiy in the wording. The only real use phones have is long distance talking to significant others where you want to try to get some personal touch in via voice but nowdays a webcam and voice over ip is the way to go. I don't even have long distance phone service at my house, for the few long distance calls I do make long distance I just use one of the 10-10+code series of deals.
  • by Saeed al-Sahaf ( 665390 ) on Saturday July 10, 2004 @03:06PM (#9662105) Homepage
    By a fucking ad and support slashdot instead of posting it as a story please.

    What makes you think this isn't exactly what's going on? Story placement is a *big* part of any PR department's job...

    I learned my phone skills in the military. But telemarketers who ignore the do-not-call list have forced me into a corner. Now, I simply hang up on them rather than waste more than 10 seconds on trying to be polite. I feel for the person on the other end who is often just some low wage person trying to make a living, but that's not my problem.

  • Re:Lame. (Score:0, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 10, 2004 @03:08PM (#9662117)
    It all depends on the presence of modern technology. If there is an answering machine, you're not likely to get more than 5 rings before it comes in. If the target is a cell phone it's probably in the person's pocket and easy to reach. However, if it's a land line with no answering machine, the person you're calling could be on the other side of the house or in the bathroom. Give them 10 seconds to run desperately to the phone only to find you hung up just before they reached it, and they don't have caller id or *whatever to call you back, and you fail it at the telephone. Clearly the manual needs an update to take new technologies into account.

    I agree, whoever drew the retarded pencil steps is a dick. Who does that? PEOPLE WHO VIOLATE THE HANDBOOK ON HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH USEFUL INFORMATION AND PENCILS THATS WHO!

    Additionally you fail it at the internet because you're supposed to load all the pages at once before reading them. That shouldn't take more than a minute on this site. You can even detect the patterns in the url and enter them manually if the site takes too long to load individual pages that have the next buttons. However it is agreed that they are, in fact, motherfuckers and their actions are "Nice going" in the sense of being totally gay. You should demand a refund. I bet none of the editors, not even Cowboyneal, could make friends on the telephone.
  • Interesting (Score:3, Interesting)

    by HarveyBirdman ( 627248 ) on Saturday July 10, 2004 @03:12PM (#9662135) Journal
    People like to make fun of such things and "those wacky 50's ways." Sure, there were lots of civil rights issues and other ponderous bullshit, but some days I think we tossed out the baby with the bathwater. I mean, we really seem to live in a world these days that's an endless legion of assholes.

    If you so much as claim to like a TeeVee show someone else doen't like, that other person will tell you how your taste is all in your feet, your brain cells suffer from some degenerating disease of the mind, you should do disgusting and incetuous things with your mother and/or father and/or unlce, and you are, somehow, the moral equivalent of Hitler, Stalin and Caligula combined.

    Although not in so many words. It's usually "Yu fvkin suuk dood!" But the meaning is clearly implied.

    People tell me it's the result of free speech and free expression and the tossing of old ways, but that doesn't do much to mitigate the fact that we live immersed in an endless legion of assholes.

  • Re:Ok, thats great (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 10, 2004 @03:22PM (#9662201)
    Sometimes technology can cause people to forget the obvious ways of doing things.

    She was probably trying to avoid pissing you off. Over the years, I've rarely gotten someone upset by calling them or sending them a message, but I've had many who stopped talking to me or chewed me up on the spot because I knocked on their door (yes, even when there was an emergency). Your friend had probably thought of the idea but dismissed it because she's had similar experiences.

    It's sad but most likely, your friend wasn't as much the problem as our collective attitudes tending towards anti-socialism.

    -hadohk
  • Re:telemarketers (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 10, 2004 @03:47PM (#9662341)
    No, you shouldn't do that. Much of the time they are minimum wage workers, many of whom work on commission. You should ask to speak to the supervisor and string him/her along but leave the drones alone. You're depriving them of making a living with the false promise of a bit of cash.
    Havn't you ever wondered WHY they won't hang up?
  • Re:Lame. (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Kronovohr ( 145646 ) <kronovohr.gmail@com> on Saturday July 10, 2004 @03:49PM (#9662354)
    This idea's kind of an anachronism, but it held very true not 25 years ago.

    Ma Bell used to charge per phone in the house, so most households had only one phone and one phone line (the rest would disable the ringers on any newer phones so the CO would only see one phone).

    At any rate, when you were calling someone, they may have been at the other end of the house or even outside when you called, hence the one minute "rule", to give them time to get to the phone.
  • by mykepredko ( 40154 ) on Saturday July 10, 2004 @04:10PM (#9662474) Homepage
    The article is slashdotted and I don't see a pointer to a mirror, but based on other people's comments, it sounds like it is a rehash of '50s rules and ettiquette and if it isn't how does it respond to questions like:

    1. If you have call display, is it polite to answer the phone with the caller's name? I couple of years ago, this freaked people out, now it's very common. Older people tend to think of this as an invasion of privacy; but these same people consider it acceptable to have a peephole on their door and only open it to people they know.

    2. What about call answer? Should you take the incoming call and how long should you be on it before returning to the original call? What happens if you consider the second call to be more important than the first?

    3. Is call screening using an answering machine polite?

    4. I give telemarketers one chance to hang up before I slam the receiver down on them. Is this polite or should I listen to their pitch? Can I blow a Fox-40 whistle into the receiver?

    5. What are cell phone rules? Is it acceptable to have a social call while in line at the supermarket? What about a heated business call?

    I suspect that a lot of these answers are based on how old you are and what your workplace experience is.

    Enquiring minds want to know!

    myke
  • by Moofie ( 22272 ) <lee@ringofsat u r n.com> on Saturday July 10, 2004 @04:18PM (#9662519) Homepage
    The national level swing dancing scene is coordinate and enabled by Internet technology. A non-centralized group of enthusiasts organizes dances all over the US that are attended by hundreds of people.

    And if dancing with dozens of beautiful women I've never met before, and making friends all over the country, isn't a social activity? I don't know what is.

    So. The Internet is a tool. People use tools. Sometimes they use them wisely, sometimes unwisely. Why is this any different than any other innovation in history?

    You could argue that the advent of literacy means we don't sit around a fire telling each other stories anymore. I think that's equally silly.
  • Phone vs Txt (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Lord_Dweomer ( 648696 ) on Saturday July 10, 2004 @05:08PM (#9662759) Homepage
    Its interesting, I'm a big geek, yet I don't have a cellphone, and only borrow my brothers when necessary. I hate using phones of any sort because its simply more convenient for me to IM someone.

    Of course, this is when I have a computer handy, and I'm not saying cellphones aren't useful for the road. But even then, I find it more convenient to text someone. Why? Simply because, when using text, via computer or cell, it doesn't require your immediate attention. When I'm on a computer, I can alt-tab and focus on other things, like webpages, games, pr0n, etc. With txtmessaging on cells, you can do the same thing, leave the msg in your inbox and view it later. Of course, there are times and places where audio data is better than visual data, but I still find I have a preference for texts.

    And I'm not saying this because I have an aversion to people, I simply prefer to use text via IMs or cellphones or face to face, I hate the phone.

  • Re:Ok, thats great (Score:3, Interesting)

    by SquadBoy ( 167263 ) on Saturday July 10, 2004 @05:28PM (#9662870) Homepage Journal
    Damn straight. I'm up for shooting kids wanting to sell me candy bars in the head for knocking on my door. But anyone I like, respect, and would like to see happy (my personal working definition of friend) is more than welcome to knock on my door anytime of the day or night. Hell most of them have the code to my garage door and are welcome to walk in. So yea I'm as misanthropic as anybody but friends are friends and they should *not* be afraid to contact friends in any way they need to.

I tell them to turn to the study of mathematics, for it is only there that they might escape the lusts of the flesh. -- Thomas Mann, "The Magic Mountain"

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