A Former Microsoftie Forecasts Microsoft Doom 1015
Chris Holland writes "Jeff Reifman, a columnist for Seattle Weekly, has written a toe-curling editorial analysis of Microsoft's past and current missed opportunities, contrasted with its financial success, while covering in fair depth some of the most serious threats to their business model. Beyond the many choice quotes, I've found this article to be a very interesting read from somebody who has not only been on the inside, but also significantly developed his professional career thru Microsoft solutions."
John Carmack's not happy! (Score:5, Funny)
It's almost like the company had troubles or something.
Microsoft Doom ? (Score:2, Funny)
Let's the frag begins
Billion-dollar market segment (Score:2, Funny)
The Magic 8 ball says... (Score:3, Funny)
Damn you! (Score:2, Funny)
First paragraph (Score:5, Funny)
I'd love to see someone factor that kind of crap in in a Total Cost of Ownership study.
"The SKYNET Scenario" (tm) (Score:0, Funny)
The human resistance must send a terminator back in time to destroy the open source community, after 'Project LINUX' became self aware. Somehow the OS obtained access to it's own source code, and declared penguins to be the superior lifeform. Finally modifying itself to produce fluffy wuffy penguin war machines from the 'Embedded LINUX' factories.
The terminator was sent back to 1985, to eliminate a Bill Gates and take his place.
Re:Thru?!? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:in the dictionary (Score:5, Funny)
Now repeat after me: "The Oxford English Dictionary is the ONLY accepted reference for English!" Feel free to write it on the blackboard a few times as well, just to make sure it sinks in.
English is English, through is not spelled "thru", night is not spelled "nite", and there is no such word as "burglarize". The verb is burgle. Of course, you chaps in the colonies can do what you like with your language, but don't call it English !
Re:Nice treatise (Score:2, Funny)
You're right, somethign IS wrong, but I don't think it's with the word processor :P
Re:Uh huh (Score:5, Funny)
Not if it was posted on Slashdot.
Re:in the dictionary (Score:2, Funny)
Of course not. I use the proper "ai not" instead.
Re:John Carmack's not happy! (Score:3, Funny)
Good heavens. Looks like I'll have to work that defragger after every bootup!
Re:Nice treatise (Score:4, Funny)
Could have saved a lot of money (Score:1, Funny)
Reinstall Windows. Poof, problem solved, and you don't have to spend $2,000 to do it.
Or be a smart cookie and image you system off after you've got it set up so when you open that stupid email attachement your friend sent you that trashes your system, you can be back to a known good in an hour or so.
Re:Speaking from a guy who uses all OSs (Score:4, Funny)
If you think about it, Windows isn't THAT bad.
Talk about a ringing endorsement! MS should put that tagline on their commercials, you know, the ones where some office lackey supposedly saves the company $500 million by installing Outlook 2003 or something..
Anyone else think microsoft bought out ID (Score:2, Funny)
Internet Expl-aaaaaggggh (Score:5, Funny)
"What?"
"Internet Expl-aaaaagggh"
"What is that?"
"His browser must have died while typing it."
"Oh, come on!"
"Well, that's what it says."
"Look, if his browser was dying, it wouldn't bother to transmit 'aaaaaggh'. It'd just pop up one of those ridiculous 'Do you want to report this to Microsoft' dialogs."
" Well, that's what's typed in the Slashdot posting!"
"Perhaps he was dictating to someone using Mozilla."
Re:Speaking from a guy who uses all OSs (Score:5, Funny)
Why do so many people write MAC, but not WINDOWS, or LINUX? Maybe because it has 3 letters, like IBM?
Sorry to be snarky, man, but this drives me nuts.
Re:in the dictionary (Score:1, Funny)
Remember that when you go in for surgery and the surgeon says:
"Well dagnammit just looky thar! Ya'lls gonna be fiiiine! Now ya'll jist lay yerself dahn on that thar opeeratin table while I gits maself sicheeated."
Or maybe you get on the airplane and the pilot comes on and says:
"I be da main pilot MAN fer dis heea aerioplane! Yooz all like a, wewcum aboyd. Weez be chillin for thwee howas up in da air heea befoe we be done landin in da..."
I bet you'll be a "SNOB" then.
Re:Nice treatise (Score:1, Funny)
Oh, wait, I guess I just need to TAKE A COURSE IN MS OFFICE.
Sheesh.
I bet a new boyfriend would solve the problem for her easy enough.
Re:MOD PARENT TROLL ... (Score:3, Funny)
s/OpenOffice/DOS/g
s/Office/Linux/g
Yes, Microsoft stopped evoking passion in me, too (Score:3, Funny)
I remember the day, too. I call it The Day.
I'd just had a long, intimate session with Microsoft Office XP, and we lay side by side on the bed. Office was smoking contentedly. I stared out the window, trying to ignore the mouldy scents of our tryst and the way the suite pressed against me, the reptilian sensation of shrinkwrap urgent on my thigh. It was rubbing its Certificate of Authenticity hologram against me! I shuddered.
"What is it, Zhe? You're. . .distant."
"I..." Could I tell Office the truth? What choice did I have?
"This is going to sound harsh. But I'm just not turned on any more by Clippy. Or the other Office Assistants. I thought having a harem's worth would fulfill me. But there is no emotional or intellectual connection. There just isn't."
Office froze. In another minute the cig burned up to its fingers. It winced. "It's that fucking Apple slut, isn't it," hissed Office.
"Look, I should go."
"Take one step, and you'll never get metadata from me again."
"You're. . .threatening me? Don't you see it's over?"
But the suite was clutching at my neck. "No! I didn't mean it! Oh, don't leave me! Without you, I'm nothing. With you, I'm. . .EULA-ted!"
"Goodbye."
"Why? Why?"
"I can't take the angst, baby."
"You've just been using me!"
"Well, I am the user, aren't I."
"Leave and I'll kill myself!"
At the door I paused, racking my brain for what I'd learned from TV to do at these moments. Firm, but tender? Tender, but firm? If only I'd paid more attention, any attention, to the plot lines in Baywatch. And so all I could manage was: "There are better ways to innovate."
On the way downstairs it was clear, anyway, that Office was bluffing. It was already on the phone with the BSA, arranging to sue a small business. Poor guy had indulged in a three-way at his place of business with a single license. Idiot. Ass, grass, gas, or bloatware: nobody rides for free.