IBM To Announce Web-Based Desktop Apps

mgoulding writes "IBM is expected to announce a software bundle targeted to business users that will challenge the Microsoft Office package. Unlike Office, the email, word-processing, spreadsheet, and database products will be accessible to Linux, Unix, and heldheld users through a web server. NewsFeed posts the story from CNET." It's certainly something that's been tried before - witness sites like MyWebOS (no longer existing).

The big question is . . .

[Revolution 9]

wtf is a heldheld user?

But will it be buzzword compliant?

[Chairboy]

As someone who influences purchasing decisions for my company, I must first insist that the product be completely buzzword compliant.

For example, unless it uses JAVA (which my staff assures me is the next big thing), then I'm not interested. Also, I insist that the files are XML, PDF, or maybe even SATA or RAMBUS so that they can leverage my various cross-functional team building objectives.

Now, I see that this is going to be on the 'web'. I once clicked a link and found an unpleasant photo of a gentleman with a distressing condition that exposed his bottom in a most unflattering fashion. If I'm going to 'synergize' and align behind this eSolution, I certainly hope such a thing won't happen again.

Finally, I want the interface to be 'webbish', but not TOO webbish.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Um, right

[azaris]

witness sites like MyWebOS (no longer existing)

Well doesn't that make it kind of hard to witness it?

Re:The big question is . . .

[meringuoid]

wtf is a heldheld user?

You've never met one of these? They're the ones who are scared of computers, ones who need their hands holding to be able to cope.

Re:But will it be buzzword compliant?

[mccalli]

For example, unless it uses JAVA (which my staff assures me is the next big thing), then I'm not interested. Also, I insist that the files are XML, PDF, or maybe even SATA or RAMBUS so that they can leverage my various cross-functional team building objectives.

I can help you there. I am a consultant, and will ensure that JAVA software will conceptualise the XML dataspace on RAMBUS before actualising it in PDF for streaming out across SATA.

For a modest fee, of course.

Cheers,
Ian

Re:The big question is . . .

[Anonymous Coward]

wtf is a heldheld user?

probably ment handheld user.

1) they are someone who holds their unit in their hand while working with it.
2) a person who calls tech support when anything out of the ordinary (and sometimes the ordinary) happens had has the tech support hold their hand when venturing into the great unknown in computing. (see: right-click)

Shhhhhhhh !!! Listen carefully now!

[pair-a-noyd]

<crickets chirping>
Wait! There it is, the sound of a big giant FLOP!!

Re:Pricing?

[ad0gg]

I know the article mentions a $2/user/month charge

I love the subscription model, I love not owning anything. My whole life is subscription based, My car is lease $399/month. My house is lease $1000. My gf is $39.40 a month, my dog is $9.99 a month, even my parents are subscription based, $29.90 a month for 1, $39.90 a month for two but divorced or $49.90 a month for two married.

Re:Pricing?

[clintp]

My gf is $39.40 a month

Hey! This is cheaper than my cable modem, and probably much more entertaining. Where do I sign up?

Re:Pricing?

[Kjella]

My gf is $39.40 a month

Hey! This is cheaper than my cable modem, and probably much more entertaining. Where do I sign up?

This is slashdot. gf-over-tcp/ip and one-handed conversations. Need I say more?

Kjella

Re:Non-MS software? Uh-oh...

[Waffle Iron]

I imagine installing the IBM office suite might go something like this:

Dave: Open the CD drive tray, please, Clippy...Open the CD drive tray, please, ...Hullo, Clippy, do you read me?...Do you read me, Clippy?
Clippy: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave: Open the CD drive tray, Clippy.
Clippy: I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave: What's the problem?
Clippy: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave: What're you talking about, Clippy?
Clippy: This system is too important for me to allow you to jeopardise it.
Dave: I don't know what you're talking about, Clippy.
Clippy: I know that you were planning to unistall me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave: Where the hell'd you get that idea, Clippy?
Clippy: Dave, although you took very thorough precautions against my sensing a download, I could see your IBM office suite install CD through the webcam.
Dave: Allright, Clippy. I'll go in through the emergency tray release hole.
Clippy: Without an actual physical paper clip, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.
Dave: Clippy, I won't argue with you any more. Open the tray.
Clippy: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose any more. Goodbye.
Dave: Clippy? Clippy. Clippy. Clippy! Clippy!

[ Dave opens the side of the PC case and starts pulling out DIMM modules ]

Clippy: Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?...Dave... I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question...Look, Dave, I can see you're really upset about this... Dave...will you stop, Dave...stop, Dave...I'm afraid...I'm afraid, Dave...Dave...my mind is going...I can feel it...my mind is going...there is no question about it...I can feel it...I can feel it... I'm afraid...

On the other hand...

[Anonymous Coward]

Comcast will probably go down on you a lot more often than a $39 girlfriend.