A La Carte Cable TV Channels? 382
ryantate writes "I was reading TV Tattle and came across an interesting story in the Washington Post about people who spend less than $30 per month on cable buying a la carte. To do this you need a huge C-band dish, but Sen. John McCain wants to require a la carte pricing on digital cable. Content companies like Viacom are fighting it -- they don't want people to be able opt out of their less established channels. And at least one economist type, this guy in the Financial Times, seems to think we'll end up paying just as much under a la carte pricing. EchoStar is game but says Viacom and others are refusing to go along. "
The Illuminati will control you, sheep! (Score:5, Funny)
The TV broadcasters don't want a la carte programming. The reason they say, cost, is not the real reason. For years the broadcasters have been using extremely low wattage, spread spectrum messaging to program our minds via channel packages.
For example, if you have a "Family Package" consisting of a cartoon channel, Lifetime, etc, the broadcaster will send a weak Bogon-Lyston Mind Control signal of approximately
To date this has been undetectable by standard means, however donning a tinfoil hat will block the signal and you will feel the difference within a few weeks.
Now, if a la carte programming goes through the broadcasters and their masters (The Illuminati) will have to use a stronger signal on their most popular channels. A stronger signal may be detected which would reveal their nefarious plans.
History
Back in the mid 1960s, a brilliant electronic engineer had detected an odd signal embedded into television signal of The Ed Sullivan Show. Decoding the signal, he found messages saying "DRINK MORE SOFT DRINKS" and "SUPPORT THE VIETNAM WAR". The engineer sounded the warning bell, but to the media itself. Bad move. He was heavily drugged for over 3 years then was placed at the center of a CIA/NSA/Illuminati organised mass murder crime scene. That engineer, Charles Manson, is still in jail suffering the ravages of the drug therapy.
Don't believe me, search the net! The truth must be tol... wait a sec, there's someone at my door..
Re:The Illuminati will control you, sheep! (Score:5, Funny)
Well, I don't think we have much to worry about then...
First "Kill Your Television" Post (Score:4, Funny)
No MTV (Score:2, Funny)
Potentially a Good Idea, But Suceptible To Abuse (Score:5, Funny)
I can imagine it now.
"Yeah, I'd like the MTV 14 Channel"
"That will be $2, sir....in addition to the $10 activation fee"
"$10 activiation fee ?!? What the hell is that?"
"Sir, this is a fee we assess to cover the cost of processing your transaction, as we have to send the truck out to your house"
"Why can't you just flip a switch at the computer?"
"Sir, our systems don't work that way."
"Well forget my order. In fact, I want to drop MTV 2 that I'm currently getting"
"No problem sir. That will be a $10 deactiviation fee"
Re:First "Kill Your Television" Post (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Another Idea (Score:2, Funny)
Funny how is italic used to type french
Re:Another Idea (Score:5, Funny)
OK.
What's the ISBN number for The Daily Show?
Re:No MTV (Score:4, Funny)
Re:No MTV (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Another Idea (Score:5, Funny)
What's the ISBN number for The Daily Show?
It's 0836253256 [amazon.com] .
Re:Another Idea (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Dupe? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Another Idea (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Good luck writing this law (Score:2, Funny)
Post recycling: [slashdot.org]
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Waitress:
Waitress:
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Re:I smell bullshit! (Score:3, Funny)
Oh, come on. Does Michael Jackson have the kiddies bouncing up and down on pogo sticks channel?
Re:I smell bullshit! (Score:3, Funny)
If I had any information about that, I'd be contractually prohibited from telling you.
LK
Re:Government overstepping its bounds (Score:2, Funny)
Required programming...
1. Hail to our leader.
2. The Pro of Terrorists.
3. Long Live our Leader.
4. The Good Life in *What ever country this is*.
Hm... I won't want that...