Cyberchondria

Makarand writes "According to this article in the San Francisco Chronicle the ever-expanding wealth of health information online is keeping hypochondriacs constantly worried. With websites devoted to every major and esoteric illness and search engines coming up with many disease possibilities when you type in a symptom, it is becoming very easy for the health-anxious to believe that they have a disease. Many continue poring through the easily available medical information even after their doctors have given them a clean bill of health."

I have Firstpostitus!

[MooKore 2004]

If I fail it!, then I'm cured!

Oh man

[FrenZon]

I think I totally have this Cyberchondria thing!

Why bother with google?

[filtur]

I come to Slashdot for my legal and health advice.

Re:See a doctor

[CracktownHts]

Doctors vists are a great way to get piece of mind

...but so are NYC taxi rides. The idea behind paying a doctor is that they're supposed to give you a piece of their trained mind.

Life imitates satire?

[Anonymous Coward]

Methinks yes. [theonion.com]

Re:Pharmaceutical Industry?

[kurosawdust]

With advertisements on TV for drugs to cure diseases people haven't even heard of, its logical that consumers will respond.

Don't forget the extremely vague and universal symptoms listed in the advertisements:

If you've ever felt depressed, disappointed, been discouraged, or have in any way failed to any extent in any endeavor you have ever attempted, ask your doctor about Lobotomol.

So I'm OK?

[PhotoBoy]

So this means my self diagnosis of having housemaid's knee is incorrect then?

Re:See a doctor

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm glad I didn't search for 'pain in testacles' on google.


Yeah, it's probably a good thing, 'cause you wouldn't have found much. Not much useful, anyway.

-- ba-dum!
-- Sorry about that, couldn't resist...

Re:Pharmaceutical Industry?

[KrispyKringle]

Are you afraid of bad things happening? Do you worry occasionally? Do you dislike uncomfortable social situations, or occasionally feel out of place? Do you sometimes think you may have said the wrong thing, or wish you were better at something? These are all symptoms of severe depression, an illness that effects nobody except you. It isn't normal to feel this way, and you probably are very ill.

Depression is caused by neurochemical imbalances that result in you being a social outcast and a freak. But don't worry! Help is here! New Placeboflexin is designed to treat these symptoms, so you can resume your regular life. Ask your doctor if Placeboflexin is right for you.

In clinical trials, subjects reported headache, dry mouth, and nausea in about the same proportions as those taking placebos. Placeboflexin might not be right for you. Ask your doctor.

Personally?

[Stradenko]

I suffer from diabetes, hypochondria, narcisicm and schitzophrenia. I used to have breast cancer, ,but it got better.

Re:Medical students syndrome

[0xfc]

I was running healthd on my FreeBSD server. It reported my chip was running warm.

I felt my forehead and yup, I had a temperature and fever.

File suit!

[Garridan]

Obviously, these health websites are doing nothing but aggravate hypochondriacs by adding stress to their lives. They should rally together, and file a class action lawsuit! It's the American Way!

The hypochondria pill...

[thecountryofmike]

Sooner or later, the marketing guru's at Pfizer will figure out they can sell sugar pills to cure hypochondria.

Wait, that's a GREAT idea! I need to become a marketing guru for Pfizer...

oops, time for my soma...

Re:Pharmaceutical Industry?

[orthogonal]

If you've ever felt depressed, disappointed, been discouraged, or have in any way failed to any extent in any endeavor you have ever attempted, ask your doctor about Lobotomol.

I... didn't... get...

my... last... comment...

modded... up...

to... +5....

I'm a... failure...

will... Lobotomol (TM)

help me?

Re:Pharmaceutical Industry?

[MikeXpop]

I'm sorry to say nothing will help you, Mr. Shatner.

Help!

[wittyesotericmoniker]

There's this web site that says I have a condition known as Bad Karma but my doctor says it's nothing to worry about. Who should I believe?

Re:Why bother with google?

[telekon]

I come to Slashdot for my legal and health advice.

I assume that you're not worried about the pending legal action against you since probably have less than six months to live?

Yet another reason...

[no reason to be here]

that people should get licenses to surf the web.

Newsflash!

[Dragoon412]

Late, breaking news:

OCD sufferers report rise in symptoms due to abundance of light switches and sinks with soap nearby!

In unrelated news, schizophrenic patient spends 4 hours yelling at convenience store security camera about CIA stealing his brain waves! ...really guys, this is less article-worthy and more "duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh" worthy. I've heard more insightful commentary from an empty bottle of Guinness.

Re:Pharmaceutical Industry?

[bruthasj]

Don't forget the extremely vague and universal symptoms listed in the advertisements:

Please discontinue use if you have or will have the following side effects:

Blood clots, coronary heart failure, tumors, deepened depression, leukemia, warts, common cold, severe vomiting, minor vomiting, toothaches, headaches, migraines, vision problems, ear ringing, hair loss, genetic mutations, muscle tension, athletes foot, jock itch ...

Re:I have Firstpostitus!

[SpaceLifeForm]

Especially since the posters Slashdotitus is still not in remission.

please help me

[segment]

The wealth of information that is available on the internet is mind boggling to most, and I was not surprised to hear about this

I just found out I suffer from slashdoticus postlotticus a rare disorder include me in your mailings for future medications. If and only if you're paying .10 for pill and charging me $10.00 thank you.

Re:See a doctor

[Von Helmet]

Those who are already prone to certain mental attitudes will simply use the internet to go overboard. Whether that's researching health matters, looking at porn, or surfing Slashdot all day is largely irrelevant...

Well, I guess two out of three ain't so bad.

Re:Stumping doctors too

[zx75]

So, what you're saying is that people living on the african plains are out of luck?

No Cure for ER

[handy_vandal]

Or, as in the case of a recent ER episode that I happened upon flipping channels, the doctor prescibed "Obecalp" (Placebo backwards) for a guy who, although perfectly healthy, *insisted* there was something wrong with him. :-)

Of course there's something wrong with him -- something seriously wrong, that could haunt him for the rest of his life.

He's on ER.

-kgj

This got me pretty badly...

[BW_Nuprin]

I had a sore throat for two weeks, and of course, looking up "sore throat" and "two weeks" returns dozens of pages on throat cancer. Also, as it turns out, throat cancer is often mistaken for the common sore throat. That, and my dad's side of the family has a history of cancer (breast cancer in the females). So, immediately I was convinced that I was a dead man.

When the doctor told me it was Mono, I threw both my hands in the air and said "ALRIGHT!"

The doctor said that was the first time he's ever seen someone so excited to have Mono.

Obecalp & pricing

[mbstone]

Last time I got a prescription for Obecalp, the guy at the drugstore said my insurance company denied payment 'cause it wasn't on the formulary for my plan, and I had to pay $100. So I asked for the generic equivalent instead. Always do this.

Re:Iatrogenic?

[smchris]

No kidding. I worked graveyard shift, so to speak, at a hospital for a few years in my 20s. One night I'm the only person in the lunch room. A guy in a gown comes in with stitches in his skull. Goes up to the change machine and _repeatedly_ tries putting a dollar in long-side when it was one those that sucks it in narrow-side.

Made me wonder what he was like _before_ the operation.

as a hypochondriac...

[Anonymous Coward]

...actuallly, I don't know if I qualify as a hypochondriac... ;)

I don't see the doctor because I realize that half the time I feel like crap, it has nothing to do with doctor-worthy stuff, yet I worry about it anyway, and blow it up. Sometimes stress from work and school will put me out, and my brain works over time trying to categorize it. Maybe some things are uncatagorizable. Maybe some things aren't worth catagorizing. But I do it all the same, and come up with dubious explanations for this and that -- recurrent chestpains that could be caused by heart defects, or angina, or carrying my backback the wrong way, or who knows what. Why do my testicles ache? Is it because I have testicular cancer, or because when I'm studying, I sit with my legs tightly together, wedging my nuts into a sorry state? I don't know, but I wonder about it. And I've got these strangely shaped moles....

The reason I don't go to the doctor (I've only been twice in the past 5 years) is because I can't tell if my pain is a legitimate pain, or even if I am in pain at all. Probably I will die of something serious that I didn't go to the doctor for because I thought I was imagining things. But at least that is less embarrasing than having the doctor cradle my balls, thinking I am a head case.

Re:See a doctor

[PacoTaco]

You could always Ask Slashdot:

"IANAD, but I think you have Graves' disease."

Stop Protecting Idiots From Themselves!

[Tablizer]

I am tired of laws that try to protect idiots from themselves. We should let idiots be idiots. The problem is when we have to pay for their perpetual medical care when they F themselves up. We should stop doing that. If the doctor detects self-abuse, then kick them out and let them die the in street. Perhaps give them one warning. The second time they F up, boot them! If people want to take 100 viagra pills to impress their 18 year-old girl-friend, then it should be their problem. If their dick explodes, then let them live dickless.

Re:the fearful always suffer

[GigsVT]

Yeah, but the people that don't survive the breathing difficulty don't post on Slashdot, so there's a big sampling bias. :)

Look at the bright side...

[JonTurner]

...if you have a cheap-ass HMO, you're going to have some Bitchin' pile of frequent-flier points from all the flights to India!

Re:See a doctor

[myowntrueself]

"Oh god. Yes the doctor is part of a vast conspiracy to screw you out of money"

Hey, the whole of *society* is a vast conspiracy to screw you out of money.

Oh hang on, no, its called 'capitalism'

Re:Pharmaceutical Industry?

[DarthWiggle]

No. Lobotomol(tm) is just a sugar pill, you see. Generally only the smart, successful, muscular, confident, god-fearing, non-hairy, smooth-talking, clever people get modded up. I'm afraid, orthogonal, you're beyond all hope.

UNLESS YOU TRY WITTICOMEBACKINISOL(tm)(r)(c)(patent no. 7,799,842).

Recommended dosage, 14,000mg. Ask your doctor for details. You loser.

Heh, extreme pharmaceutical ads. Sorry you were the victim, orth... I'm sure you're very kind and funny.

Re:See a doctor

[Anomalous Cowturd]

So when I had a pain in my balls, I went to the doctor after a week, who prodded around, and pronounced me absolutely fine.

Hmmm, were they really sore, with a faint bluish color perhaps? Yes, I think I see the problem. Don't worry, it's quite common. There's a very simple treatment. Even better, you can apply it yourself. Sort of a holistic approach, as it were.

Re:Alternative medicine kooks

[Creepy Crawler]

Hey, I've got some Deadly Nightshade here that'll cure ANY ailment, including life!!!!

100% natural, no perservatives, no harmful "chemicals"

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

[mav[LAG]]

This is from a very funny book [forgottenfutures.com] written in the 19th century. In those days the Net equivalent was the library and the function of the banner ad was admirably filled by leaflets for patent medicine...

I remember going to the British Museum one day to read up the treatment for some slight ailment of which I had a touch - hay fever, I fancy it was. I got down the book, and read all I came to read; and then, in an unthinking moment, I idly turned the leaves, and began to indolently study diseases, generally. I forget which was the first distemper I plunged into - some fearful, devastating scourge, I know - and, before I had glanced half down the list of "premonitory symptoms," it was borne in upon me that I had fairly got it.

I sat for awhile, frozen with horror; and then, in the listlessness of despair, I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever - read the symptoms - discovered that I had typhoid fever, must have had it for months without knowing it - wondered what else I had got; turned up St. Vitus's Dance - found, as I expected, that I had that too, - began to get interested in my case, and determined to sift it to the bottom, and so started alphabetically - read up ague, and learnt that I was sickening for it, and that the acute stage would commence in about another fortnight. Bright's disease, I was relieved to find, I had only in a modified form, and, so far as that was concerned, I might live for years. Cholera I had, with severe complications; and diphtheria I seemed to have been born with. I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

I felt rather hurt about this at first; it seemed somehow to be a sort of slight. Why hadn't I got housemaid's knee? Why this invidious reservation? After a while, however, less grasping feelings prevailed. I reflected that I had every other known malady in the pharmacology, and I grew less selfish, and determined to do without housemaid's knee. Gout, in its most malignant stage, it would appear, had seized me without my being aware of it; and zymosis I had evidently been suffering with from boyhood. There were no more diseases after zymosis, so I concluded there was nothing else the matter with me.

I sat and pondered. I thought what an interesting case I must be from a medical point of view, what an acquisition I should be to a class! Students would have no need to "walk the hospitals," if they had me. I was a hospital in myself. All they need do would be to walk round me, and, after that, take their diploma.

Then I wondered how long I had to live. I tried to examine myself. I felt my pulse. I could not at first feel any pulse at all. Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to start off. I pulled out my watch and timed it. I made it a hundred and forty-seven to the minute. I tried to feel my heart. I could not feel my heart. It had stopped beating. I have since been induced to come to the opinion that it must have been there all the time, and must have been beating, but I cannot account for it. I patted myself all over my front, from what I call my waist up to my head, and I went a bit round each side, and a little way up the back. But I could not feel or hear anything. I tried to look at my tongue. I stuck it out as far as ever it would go, and I shut one eye, and tried to examine it with the other. I could only see the tip, and the only thing that I could gain from that was to feel more certain than before that I had scarlet fever.

I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.

I went to my medical man. He is an old chum of mine, and feels my pulse, and looks at my tongue, and talks about the weather, all for nothing, when I fancy I'm ill; so I thought I would do him a good turn by going to him now. "What a doctor wants," I said, "is practice. He shall have me. He will get more practice out of me than out of seventeen hundred of your

I blame literacy!

[fantomas]

Nicely said! I am sure back in the 15th century (BC) there were people wandering around tut-tutting "...this literacy thing will be no end of trouble, this new technology will have people reading things on those bits of clay tablet and imagining that they have all sorts of illnesses..."

A Man walks into his doctor's office...

[vudufixit]

He says: "Doctor, what are the symptoms of hypochrondria?" Doctor replies, "Anything you want them to be."