North Korea Introduces 'Secure' E-mail

An anonymous reader sent in a strange little story running over at ZD that discusses North Korea's new secure email system. There's a lot of strange bits in there about trained North Korean hackers, and the fact that North Korea's news agency is hosted in Japan.

Time-honored facts...

[typobox43]

Again, they're just proving that the best security method is just to not let anyone on the system at all.

Umm

[Anonymous Coward]

Secure email in a communist state?

Complete Privacy...

[DaRat]

Of course they can guarantee complete privacy: after the security forces pick up the sender and the recipient and disappear them forever, no one will ever know what was written in the email.

Off Black list? Nope...

[RedHat Rocky]

If this is North Korea's attempt to get off my black list, it's a failure.

Is that where the Iraqi information minister ended up? :)

North Korean Insanity

[siskbc]

To me it sounds like Kim Jong Il is getting even more paranoid.

You think that's a little loopy? Check out Kim's official policy on triplets. [newsmax.com]

Yeah, he's nuckin' futs.

Re:DictatorMail.com ?

[Anonymous Coward]

They have computers in North Korea?!!! [globalsecurity.org]

What about North Korean IM?

[stendec]

License2KimJongill: hi what's up
License2KimJongill: hello?
License2KimJongill: helloooo...

Bush43: SORRY CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW
Bush43: GOT COLON POWELL ON THE PHONE

License2KimJongill: i'm pretty sure it's spelled colin
Bush43: WELL I'M PRETTY SURE YOUR NAME IS SPELLED KIM JUNGLE

License2KimJongill: shut up

Bush43: YOU SHUT UP

License2KimJongill: no you shut up

Bush43: MAKE ME

License2KimJongill: make me make you

Bush43: WHAT?

License2KimJongill: i have to go too, I have colin powell on the phone too. You're talking to "colon" powell so I bet you have the wrong guy

Bush43: SHUT UP

License2KimJongill: you shut up

Shamelessly stolen from the Kim Jong Il livejournal [livejournal.com]

And this means...

[KC7GR]

...that we're going to start seeing encrypted spam now?

(Sorry, couldn't resist). ;-)

Dear N. Korean Secure E-mail System,

[mikesab]

*Salivates*

Your's Truly,
Every Known Hacker in the Free World

Spam

[mirko]

So, Kim doesn't know he's not the only one to get these "enlarge yer manhood" spams and wants to keep these secret from his court ?

Re:Complete Privacy...

[dagg]

How many Internet users, or even how many computer users there are in North Korea, remains unknown, although an Associated Press wire agency report on the email service said that few are believed to have any access. Leader Kim Jong II is known to be online, and has repeatedly mentioned the importance of computer technology.

There is complete privacy because Leader Kim Jong II is the only one allowed online.

of course

[theMerovingian]

Great Leader Kim Yong Il is computer-savvy. Check out the Frontpage-For-Dummies official site of the DPRK. [korea-dpr.com]

I would be embarrassed to put pictures of my CAT on a website that lame.

This emails not fortunate

[RealProgrammer]

We are regretting that the Slash Dot web hosting has made these informations public available.

These informations should be kept private just for North Korean free viewing.

We have own all your bases.

What is legal in South Korea, and what isn't

[rduke15]

An interesting note at the bottom of the article says that "It remains illegal for any South Koreans to email their northern neighbors without government permission.".

That sounds actually pretty good for the North Koreans, when you consider the quantity of spam coming out of South Korea.

Too bad it isn't illegal to spam my country. Or has the spam I get been granted a "government permission"?

Here is how it works

[Snaller]

You print it out, put it in an envelope and deliver it in person (with an armed guard) - clever! Ping times are bad though.

Re:North Korean Insanity

[Crockerboy]

but if its on the innernet, it must be true!1!!12!

Re:of course

[kryptkpr]

And if you think that's funny.. check out their Flash Demo [korea-dpr.com]!

Re:The North Korean News Agency

[Anonymous Coward]

Heh, that's pretty good stuff. Is that for real? Or fake?

The surest sign of an oppressive regime is putting nothing but editorial in the news. *looks at his news paper* *watches Fox News* d'oh!

Duuuuhhhhhh.

[GeneralEmergency]

No email -is- secure email.

Taa...dahh!

Change of address notice

[mm0mm]

from NSA log...

North Korea has launched an email service that "guarantees the privacy of correspondence"

"Hi everyone. Since Hotmail is infamous for its backdoor and security holes, I'm switching my email. Please update your address book!

old address: KimJongIl@hotmail(REMOVE).com
new address: [e-mail]-korea(REMOVE).gov

Yours,
Kimmy"

Re:DictatorMail.com ?

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope they dont com when my family eats our dinner. boiled dog is double plus yummy.

Great Solution for their Problems

[fuzzybunny]

So, while the population is starving due to castrophic economic policies, corrupt leadership and an idiotic foreign policy, they will no longer have to play games with the rest of the world, trading nuclear weapons for food.

I'd love to have a look at what pops up in their mail logs:

From: Dear Leader ([e-mail])
To: [e-mail] (George)
CC: [e-mail] (Dick)
Date: Dec. 2, 2003 18:50
Subject: North Korea Secure Email!!!11
------------
Dear Capitalist stooge George:

Invincible North Korean Peoples' Electronic Industry allow secure email discourse with running-dog American lackey. Welcome to glorious socialist revolution communication network! Great Korean Peoples' Hacker Team crush you Network like grape. All you base are belong to us! Hahahaha!

Love,

-Dear Leader

From: Dear Leader ([e-mail])
To: [e-mail]
Date: Dec. 2, 2003 18:53
Subject: our order
------------
We take 50,000,000 super-size meat-lover special. Hold anchovy. Deliver President Palace, Pyongyang, Illustrious Democratic Peoples Republic North Korea.

Regard,

-Dear Leader

PS: Send Britney.

From: Dear Leader ([e-mail])
To: [e-mail] (Peter Green Kabila
Date: Dec. 2, 2003 18:58
Subject: Re: YOUR STRICT CONFIDENCE REQUESTE
------------
Dear Mr. Kabila
Great Democratic People Republic of North Korea very interest in confidential transact. Please send more info.

Regard,

-Dear Leader

From: Dear Leader ([e-mail])
To: [e-mail]
Date: Dec. 2, 2003 19:05
Subject: You Warheads

------------
Dear Ali,
Yuo nuklear weapon warhead ready. Freighter leave for Pakistan tomorrow. Please expediting payment expeditiously.

Cheers,

-Dear Leader
^D^C^C^C cancel
To: [e-mail]
SHIT WRONG ADDRESSING

North Korea Secure Email (Long Version News)

[Rotten]

Today the details of a new mail system claimed as "Absolutely Secure" have been posted on Leader Kim Jong II weblog available at the same server where the new mail system is being implemented.

An undisclosed person who likes himself to be called JK2 reported that "today i read my...err his weblog, and i got the details nobody knows about the new system"

Analysts said the new method is "Brillant" to bring email access to ppl while keeping comunications secure.

The system, concived by Kim Jong II himself consists in his own computer acting as a server, umplugged from any network or communications device. The gracefull leader himself will answer phonecalls from the population and transcribe the messages for them, absolutely free of charge.
The message is then keept in JK II "secure server" waiting for the recipient of the message to call using the toll free number and again, Kim Jong II himself will read the message for them.

The system is absolutely safe from net crackers and identity stealing since only Kim Jong II family have access to telephone services.

As stated by our misterious "JK2" source, many "free world" leaders have expressed interest in the new system including Chinese and Cuban leaders.

By yesterday, a very powerfull american software industry leader was analyzing in a emergency meeting held at company headquearters located in Redmond, the possibility to claim a patent on this great mail system while spokesman of a company who wanted to stay anonymous said that system is sure to use portions of intelectual property that belong to them, and they are analyzing charging Kim Jong II family a $600 license to use the system.

What's next?

[scubacuda]

Nigeria offering "secure banking"?

Re:Complete Privacy...

[ErikTheRed]

after the security forces pick up the sender and the recipient and disappear them forever

If only we can get spammers in on this....

Re:Fighting oppression

[gobbo]

Canadians don't have a 1 million man army sitting on the border, and SCUDs with chemical weapons on them, waiting for a chance to invade.

No, but you were very clever to stop all beef imports from Alberta (that's a province). What you've overlooked will be your undoing however. You think that's ordinary beer we're exporting?! How about your comedians--how many of them are actually cleverly subversive Canucks? How about William Shatner? Peter Jennings? Perry f***ing Como? You think it's just coincidence that no one south of Minnesota actually knows anything about Canada?

Democracy is a pretty foreign concept to most parts of the world

Including Florida [bbc.co.uk]. Or haven't you noticed all those salty-haired "snow birds" we Canadians are sending down there? You think they're just retirees, right? Do you really think Jeb Bush could have pulled that caper off without the covert ops of the shuffleboard-and-horseshoes thugs? That's right, GW is a pawn of the Canadian Senate (ha! never heard of them, have you?). Our plan for world dominance [ptbcanadian.com] proceeds apace.

Re:What about North Korean IM?

[roman_mir]

License2KimJongill: i have to go too, I have colin powell on the phone too. You're talking to "colon" powell so I bet you have the wrong guy - technically, he just had the wrong end of the guy.

Moderation crack

[Enoch Root]

Thank you moderators for showing how little you know of the world outside your basement bedroom. If you really think a North Korean could get on the Internet and write the above post, I have a bridge for sale.