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It's funny. Laugh.

SCO Nigerian Spam 171

Posted by CmdrTaco from the now-thats-just-funny dept.
An anonymous reader writes "This Nigerian/SCO spam email (courtesy of Ars Technica) has been doing the rounds recently." With all the SCO news lately, it's nice to see something with a bit of humor in it.
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

SCO Nigerian Spam More

SCO Nigerian Spam

Comments Filter:

  • subj (Score:4, Funny)

    by Tirel ( 692085 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:24AM (#6716568)
    How much do you want to bet *some* people will fall for it and sue SCO? I can just hear some linux hackers laughing about the matter in the background.

    • Re:subj (Score:5, Interesting)

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:27AM (#6716580)
      Don't laugh. Some people fall for it and pay. My aunt was caught up in a nigerian scam (running out of the netherlands in reality) and lost her initial $5k 'investment'

      People don't use their brains when they're on the net. If it comes in email they believe it.

      I should have asked her for $5k myself. I probably would have worked it out of her in days, and it could bay for the damned free tech support she expects from me.

      • Re:subj (Score:1, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward
        how? These emails come in looking so blatantly like a scam it's not funny. All caps, foreign country, stupid english. $30 million smuggled out of the country? do people sit around one day hoping their poor pathetic lives will suddenly become interesting when they're plunged into the intrigue of a spy thriller and they'll come out of it rich?

        Sad.

        • Re:subj (Score:3, Insightful)

          by Anonymous Coward
          do people sit around one day hoping their poor pathetic lives will suddenly become interesting when they're plunged into the intrigue of a spy thriller and they'll come out of it rich?

          Yes.

        • Re:subj (Score:2, Insightful)

          by satyap ( 670137 )
          People are dumb, Jay. Somewhere out there there are just enough people just stupid enough to fall for spam and scam. As for all caps and stupid English, AOLers and /. trolls do that all the time.

      • What is your aunts email address? (Score:5, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 17, 2003 @03:30PM (#6718091)
        I think I can get her money back, but I will need her account information first.
      • May I have your aunt's e-mail address?

    • I fell for it... (Score:5, Funny)

      by Osrin ( 599427 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:45AM (#6716640) Homepage
      the SCO shares I bought 7 months ago have jumped almost 500%.

      I'm still waiting for the $23m that the son of the Nigerian oil baron promised me though. I'll keep you posted.

    • RMS says (Score:1, Funny)

      by waitigetit ( 691345 )
      That should be GNU/SCO

  • Missed opportunity (Score:5, Funny)

    by Empiric ( 675968 ) * on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:25AM (#6716570)
    SCO's e-mail neglects to mention that since they have the e-mail itself copyrighted, and you're now using it on one of your computers by opening it, you already owe them a sum they will "conveniently supply"...

    I amazed crafty Darl would miss this obvious profit opportunity!
    • The worst thing is that many people will ACTUALLY fall for it (as for the other nigerian Scam) ... people that still believe that there's some "good" people around there ...

      I really loved the "AND WITH THE AMOUNT LEFT BLANK FOR US TO CONVENIENTLY SUPPLY" part... hehehe...

      Seriously..... would be someone there SO stupid to answer to this??!

      • Re:The worst of it all... (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:39AM (#6716613)
        The worst thing is that many people will ACTUALLY fall for it (as for the other nigerian Scam) ... people that still believe that there's some "good" people around there ...

        The whole point of a Nigerian scam is that the victim thinks that they're getting on the inside of some crooked scheme. Nobody signs up for 30% of $10,000,000 (or whatever) because they think it's all clean and above board. They think they've got the chance of a lifetime and that BECAUSE it's obviously (despite all the denials, in fact emphasised by all the denials) crooked that the other party really needs them to make it work.

        The fact that they've been knowingly engaging in a crooked scheme is then used against them later as part of the extortion effort or to dissuade them from going to the authorities.

        Believing that there are "good" people out there doesn't come into it.

        • Re:The worst of it all... (Score:5, Interesting)

          by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 17, 2003 @12:09PM (#6717005)
          The whole point of a Nigerian scam is that the victim thinks that they're getting on the inside of some crooked scheme.

          As I noted in a message at the top of this story, my aunt lost $5000 to scammers. She STILL thinks that if the police hadn't intervened she'd have her money back, with her profits. Her trust was earned, and they still have it unfortunately.
        • I am a little shocked by people falling over Nigerian scams, even when it was unpopular. My grandfather received the first one I ever saw, several years ago, and being over 80 years old. He laughed his ass off, and called us over to see it. He is quite intelligent, though. I've seen the gleam in some people's eyes when getting a Nigerian scam; it's the same as when they're buying a lottery ticket. Hoping it may be true...
          • herko_cl
            said [slashdot.org]:
            He laughed his ass off, and called us over to see it. He is quite intelligent, though.
            He doesn't know how to use the Forward button though?

            Chris

          • I am a little shocked by people falling over Nigerian scams, even when it was unpopular.

            They only need about 1 in 100,000 people to fall for this. Of all the people that you know, do you know of just one person stupid/crooked enough to possibly fall for something like this?? If so, then you're ahead of the curve.

            The SCO scam, is pretty much the same... They only need a small handfull of Fortune1000 companies to fall for their threats to make a tidy profit. "I mean, if they're willing to sue IBM, then

          • My dad got a Nigerian scam which did not appear to be crooked, which is to say it didn't appeal to the victim as an opportunity to get on the inside of some crooked scheme. It said that a rich clergyman had died and left some money in his will - and some of it was to go to the author of a book he had read. I dunno, maybe they try the same scam with all authors. Anyway the response was 'please deal with my solicitor' and the scammers weren't heard from again.

            At the time I have to admit I thought it was p
        • The whole point of a Nigerian scam is that the victim thinks that they're getting on the inside of some crooked scheme.

          And the SCO pump-and-dump is what, precisely?

      • I belive there are some good people around Nigeria, but they are not sending out the spams. Of late I have taken to trying to toy with them. I am mostly asking them to send a new car to me or my agent as a show of good faith.

        So far I no new cars have shown up in my driveway :).

      • Re:The worst of it all... (Score:5, Interesting)

        by rickg13 ( 587138 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:42AM (#6716884)
        I teach nights at a local college. On no fewer then 3 occasions in the last year I have had students check their e-mail during lab, call me over, show me the Nigerian scam, and then ask me "Is this legit? Do you think I should do it?"

        Each time I've responded with "You're kidding right?"

        And each time I've been given back a look that tells me that no they're not kidding.

        I am then forced to weep for the future.
        • My answer:
          Think about it -- Presuming that these people are legit, they're willing to scam their own country to the tune of millions of dollars. Do you think that they'd be willing to scam you too??? Who do you think has more experience at this?"
          Consider it part of your teaching duties.

  • If anyone believes this.... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Autolycus ( 151640 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:32AM (#6716590)
    Then I have some swamp land in Florida to sell them.

  • hah, (Score:5, Funny)

    by DashEvil ( 645963 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:35AM (#6716597)
    SCO is just upset because the average Linux user gets laid more than them.

  • I don't think it's the best Nigerian-style scam! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Threni ( 635302 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:37AM (#6716603)
    Surely this one is:

    URGENT ASSISTANCE - FROM USA
    IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
    FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH 202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111 FAX: 202.456.2461

    DEAR SIR / MADAM,

    I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
    STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS
    PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE
    YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I
    CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO
    HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE
    TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM
    CONFIDENCE.

    I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR
    ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE
    REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN
    COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY
    ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF
    AMERICA,AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES
    CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY
    FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO
    WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO
    REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF
    IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING-OUT WITH
    HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES
    IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH
    SUBSIDIARY.

    MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF
    SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT
    COST,THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS
    PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF
    MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND
    JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER
    REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

    MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL
    OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM
    ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM
    FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO
    SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY
    COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000
    -$200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM
    MANAGEMENT. WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE
    ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY
    FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS
    ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION
    INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
    RICHARD CHENEY,WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER
    HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE
    PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF
    A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER. I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM
    EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO
    OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE
    SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED
    INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH
    (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL. I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS
    MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING
    YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL
    NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS
    TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS
    TRANSACTION,PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER
    DISCUSS

    • Or just use a 419 scam generator (Score:5, Informative)

      by AndroidCat ( 229562 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:47AM (#6716646) Homepage
      Like this one [flooble.com]
    • Then there is also this one...

      Subject: URGENT special arrangement
      FROM: GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE

      DUNLAND

      Dear sir and/or madame,

      Salutations, I am GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE, The son of late Counsellor Grima Wormtongue of the Kingdom of Rohan.

      My father was Chief Counsellor [equivalent to Prime Minister] to late lamented king Theoden of Rohan. In his position my father altogether legally and correctly acquired significant assets throughout Rohan in order to protect the Kingdom from enemy forces within and without.

      In the course of lamentable events succeeding, my father was illegally deprived of office and expelled from the Kingdom. Before this he had with foresight already entirely legally deposited the sum of M.500,000,000,000 in gold with the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith).

      While in exile in the north he was assaulted and murdered by a band of northern pigmies. His family was obliged to seek refuge in northern Dunland among some of our sympathisers.

      My father left to me all documents necessary to retrieve the sum of gold aforesaid from the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith). However, in the current political circumstances my solicitor believes it unwise for me to attempt to make the trip from Dunland to Minas Tirith, and has recommended that I seek a trustworthy foreign business partner into whose account this money could be tranferred. This appears to be the best option as we are unable to open an account in Dunland. Therefore we are seeking your trustworthy assistance and cooperation.

      You will provide information about your account that will enable a deposit to be made in your name. I will contact the Bank of Gondor (Minas Tirith) and inform them that the money is to be placed into your account. Upon completion of the transaction your share of the proceeds will be 15% net following deduction of all transfer fees, that is M.75,000,000,000. If the transaction goes well we also look forward to maintaining you as a profitable business partner for future ventures.

      It goes without saying that I can expect your complete confidence and secrecy in keeping this matter under wraps prefatory to completion.

      Thank you and ERU bless.

      MR. GRIMHELM WORMTONGUE

      Reply to Mr. Grimhelm Wormtongue

      Subject: Re:Urgent Special Arrangement
      To: Grimhelm Wormtongue, Dunland

      Dear Mr. Wormtongue,

      Thank you for your recent letter. I regret to inform you that your father, the late Grima Wormtongue (and our condolences to you - so sorry about the pigmy thing) had secured the services of the late Steward of Gondor, Denethor, who has recently passed on. Lord Denethor unfortunately had been ill for many months following the death of his eldest and most beloved son, Boromir (who himself met an untimely demise at the hands of brigands and murderers). During his illness, Lord Denethor sent most of the monies your father had to one Dark Lord. If you wish to contact him, you may do so at: The Dark Lord, Tower of Barad-d?r, Plains of Gorgoroth, Mordor. Unfortunately I do believe he is away on vacation and no date has been stated for his return.

      All that is left in the account at the Bank of Gondor of the original M.500,000,000,000 is M.01. So sorry. If you wish, you may consider investing this small amount into a fund that has a promising future and you may find your money growing over the years to come. I suggest, if I may, the fund called "Osgiliath Rebuilders Inc." It has good solid backing from the recently crowned King of Gondor, Lord Aragorn, who, it seems, has many resources at his command, having received many gifts and treasures from Dwarves and Elves during his coronation.

      If I can be of further assistance, please do not hesitate to send a courier.

      Elbereth!
      Faramir, Steward of Gondor

    • Oh my god! (Score:5, Funny)

      by Lindril ( 68371 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:53AM (#6716948) Homepage
      I have just realized that the entire world is just a collection of Nigerian 419 scams.

      I have lost the will to live.

  • It's a new law of the Internet (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:43AM (#6716633)
    We've had the George W. Bush Nigerian spam, and now this.

    As any controversial issue continues, the probability of receiving a satirical Nigerian spam e-mail approaches 1.

  • More SCO humour (Score:5, Funny)

    by coolfrood ( 459411 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:51AM (#6716663) Homepage
    SCO Group to Shoot Babies [bbspot.com]. This one's courtesy osnews.com

  • Scam? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by muffen ( 321442 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:52AM (#6716668)
    This sounds like a really good business idea to me! I mean, c'mon, 1 billion dollars. The nigerian son of the king only had like 300 million to share. My 1000 dollars would only have given me like 10 million back.

    Just tell me who my lawyer should contact if I want to join :)
    • If it sounds too good to be true it probably is. You should be more than happy than with the $10 million the respectable Nigerian gentleman offered you.

      Don't get greedy!

  • Some suggested improvements: (Score:5, Funny)

    by vchoy ( 134429 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:54AM (#6716675)
    The CAPS effect is good and makes the letter look similar to the shit I get everyday in my inbox. However, the letter seems to be lacking the "dollar ($) numbers" that make the spam more authentic
    Here is my suggestion:

    MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES WORTH AN ESTIMATED $1 BILLION U.S. DOLLARS.

    Could be improved by:

    MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES WORTH AN ESTIMATED $1 BILLION ($1,000,000,000.00) U.S. DOLLARS.

    And to make things a bit more interesting:

    OUR ENGINEERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT NO FEWER THAN SEVENTY (70) LINES OF OUR VALUABLE AND PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODES HAVE APPEARED IN THE UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM LINUX.

    could be changed to:

    OUR ENGINEERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT
    • UP TO
    • SEVEN IN TEN (70%)
    OF OUR VALUABLE AND PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODES HAVE APPEARED IN THE UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM LINUX.

    To the author: the more dramatic and consistent in the apperence of the spam, the more automated response for the viewers to hit that block and delete key. Keep up the great work, you are getting there.

  • Dr. Dobbs did this first? (Score:1, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Verity Stob's column in the September 2003 issue of Dr. Dobb's Journal was a Nigerian spam spoof, also dealing with SCO. IMO, the Dr. Dobb's version is better, though I don't know which version came first.

  • you should take the nigerian guy seriously (Score:5, Funny)

    by andy666 ( 666062 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @10:57AM (#6716686)
    i helped him out and i made a bundle! with the money, i bought a great house with a fantastic mortgage. then i married a beautiful russian bride, and i pleasure her with my surgically enlarged, viagra driven member.

    the only problem i am having is finding toner....

  • Dr. Dobbs (Score:1, Redundant)

    by bigattichouse ( 527527 )
    Had one much like this posted as an editorial.

  • Well, uh ... (Score:5, Funny)

    by dzym ( 544085 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:08AM (#6716723) Homepage Journal
    I thought all the SCO news lately WAS the humor?
  • The whole SCO lawsuit is humor. Chris Sontag, I knew he had some talent for stand-up, but Darl? Who knew?!?

  • Can we send this to McBride? (Score:3, Funny)

    by linuxislandsucks ( 461335 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:14AM (#6716753) Homepage Journal
    Okay who is going to be the firs tone of the slashdotters pack to send this via email to MCbride to see what response you get? :)

  • haha (Score:5, Funny)

    by roka ( 211127 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:14AM (#6716754)
    With all the SCO news lately, it's nice to see something with a bit of humor in it.

    You probably don't know how hard I laughed while reading "SCO declares GPL invalid".

  • show me the money! (Score:2, Insightful)

    by p51d007 ( 656414 )
    The greed of some people will cause some to fall for this one. The Nigerian scam has been in the news for months, and still some people fall for this scam

  • The English is too good. (Score:3, Funny)

    by pair-a-noyd ( 594371 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:16AM (#6716764)
    It needs a heavier dose of Manglish (Mangled English) for it to be proper...

  • You can find allot of great articles exposing SCO's insanity and comedy of errors.

    Groklaw [weblogs.com]

  • fire the "laser" (Score:5, Funny)

    by Mohammed Al-Sahaf ( 665285 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:19AM (#6716776)
    DR. EVIL

    Anyways, since my "death star" laser was developed by my evil minions in Santa Cruz, California, I thought we'd name it in their honor - THE SANTA CRUZ OPERATION!

    SCOTT snickers again.

    DR. EVIL

    What now?

    SCOTT

    The Santa Cruz Operation is a technology company that makes money from frivolous lawsuits. Why dont you just call it the Walt Disney project? Ass.

    DR. EVIL

    Shhhh!

    SCOTT

    I'm nineteen, I don't-

    DR. EVIL

    Shh! Shh-Shh. Shh-Shhhhhh-Shh. Shh-shh! It's Morse code.

    (reading imaginary paper)

    Let me decipher...it says 'shhhhh!'

    SCOTT

    You are so lame..

    DR. EVIL

    Shhhh!
    • Very funny. Funnier really than the Nigerian bit. I really like the Dr. Evil plots out of sync with present times bits in the movies, and yours should be in the next Austin Powers film.
  • I don't get the nigerian scams since making a mail.app rule that simply trashes anything from a2000.nl - are they really such a one-note operation? I kinda miss them just a teenie tiny bit - screwing with their minds was a little bit of joy (suggest they call the DOJ phone number), but from the looks of things they were a bit like "Happy Fun Ball - do not taunt.
    • The a2000 people have found that they got blacklisted all over the world.
      Since a couple of months they have hired two people at their abuse desk, and changed the abuse@a2000.nl alias from /dev/null into something that is really read and handled.
      It appears they are now closing about 30 accounts a day due to abuse, and the Nigerian Scam people have moved on to the next provider. (Versatel)

  • Alternative strategy (Score:4, Funny)

    by vchoy ( 134429 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:26AM (#6716809)
    Just a humble suggestion: Asking for credit card numbers or blank cheques/checks or direct deposits (donations) seems just a little unprofessional and unrealistic. I suggest the following:

    UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY EXTRACTING OUR FUNDS FROM THESE COMPUTER SOFTWARES. TO THIS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE MANDATE BY MY COLLEAGUES TO CONTACT YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. WE ARE PREPARED TO SELL YOU A SHARE IN THIS ENTERPRISE "THE SCO GROUP (SCOX)" WHICH IS 100% PUBLICALLY LISTED ON THE NASDAQ STOCK EXCHANGE. OUR SHARE PRICE IS EXPECTED TO REACH UP TO ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS ($100.00) FOR EACH SHARE YOU PURCHASE THROUGH THE BROKERAGE OF YOUR CHOICE. TO HELP US GUAGE HOW YOUR SHARE PRICE WILL PERFORM, PLEASE CONTACT US AND GIVE YOUR INDICATION ON WHAT PRICE YOU EXPECT TO SELL YOUR SHARES TO MAKE INSTANT PROFIT. WE WILL PASS THIS INFORMATION TO OUR MANAGMENT TEAM AND BOARD OF DIRECTORS SO THEY CAN MAKE INFORMED DECISION REGARDING THE DIRECTION OF THE COMPANY.

    KINDLY TREAT THIS REQUEST AS VERY IMPORTANT AND STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. I HONESTLY ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL AND RISK-FREE.

  • Uh oh (Score:5, Funny)

    by eap ( 91469 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:28AM (#6716828) Journal
    With all the SCO news lately, it's nice to see something with a bit of humor in it.

    You mean this whole lawsuit thing is for real?

  • That's our intellectural property! (Score:3, Funny)

    by gooru ( 592512 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:32AM (#6716842)
    This is SCO, and we are serving this subpoena for you to remove the "SCO Nigerian Spam" from your site. We bought the rights to said spam when we bought the rights to all of Unix System V, including Linux and all derivates. We reserve the right to publish "SCO Nigerian Spam" as we see fit. We own your spam. Cease and desist or be sued out of existance pathetic Slashdot!

  • SCO's Intellectual Property Laws (Score:5, Funny)

    by Roug ( 75697 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:48AM (#6716921) Homepage
    1. If I like it, it's mine.

    2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

    3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

    4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

    5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

    6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

    7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

    8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

    9. If you are developing something and you release it as GPL, it automatically becomes mine.

    10. If it's useless, it's yours!

  • CEASE AND DESIST (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 17, 2003 @11:52AM (#6716942)
    Dear Sir or Madam,

    This law firm is intellectual property and litigation counsel to the Telemarketing Industry Association of Nigeria (TIAN). It has come to our attention that you are sending out e-mails offering for sale of a share in your company.

    Please be advised that TIAN is the holder of the patent for "offering for sale for a part of a company," which the United States Patent and Trademark office has accepted for registration on the Principal Register. Since 1997, my client has used the "business model" and has become famous worldwide. Internet users looking for Nigerian Businesses for sale expect to find my client's businesses.

    You are hereby warned and notified to CEASE AND DESIST your use of "offering for sale for a part of a company" as a business model, which you have obviously used in bad faith. If you do not immediately transfer all profits to TIAN, we will take all action necessary to protect our business model. Your failure to comply will result in my client's full and forceful prosecution of all of its rights, and you could incur liability for damages in excess of $100,000,000,000 and responsibility for our attorneys' fees.

    Sincerly,
    Olusegun Obasanjo

  • But... (Score:1)

    by dze ( 89612 )
    It is funny, but there aren't enough spelling mistakes!
  • Dear Sir,

    You may have missed the recent news headlines,
    but as a businessman responsible for deploying
    vital computer systems and networks, you will be
    aware that the Linux operating system, which you
    have deployed, is a copyrighted (c) system with
    a documented trademark pedigree.

    Our company (SCO Holdings Internation Ltd.) bought, in 1992, the rights to all Unix kernels
    outside the United States of America (USA). We
    have learned to our dismay that the Linux
    operating system, which you are running on your
    computers in Europe, contains no less than 70
    (70) lines of our source code, and any business
    (such as yours) using or operating a Linux system
    is liable for breach of copyright and license.

    However, after careful consideration of your
    circumstances, we are prepared to offer you a
    special one-time "cleansing" license for the
    modest fee of only $699 per server. For this
    small license fee you not only get the right to
    use your Linux systems without further fees,
    you also get the peace of mind knowing you are
    using software that is commercially supported
    and developed.

    To order your license now, call 1-555-233323 and
    ask for me, Chinua Obeye
    Please ignore all messages from companies calling
    themselves "SCO Group" or "SCO International",
    these are scurilous fraudsters who will take your
    money and run.

    Sincerely,
    Chinua Obeye
    President of Vice
    SCO Holdings International

  • The really sad part is... (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Vip ( 11172 )
    ...that should they actually need money to continue the lawsuit, some venture capitalist somewhere will gladly give them the money to do so, in exchange for 30%.

    Vip
  • Anyone have a list of all the employee's email addresses at SCO?
  • because it was really good for Karma whoring!

    This was originally posted to Slashdot on Wednesday June 04, 2003 by me. This was something I actually thought of and wrote myself, too.

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Darl McBride
    Sent: Saturday, May 31, 2003 12:05 PM
    Subject: URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL

    ATTN: MANAGING DIRECTOR/C.E.O

    LINDON, UTAH

    REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

    First, I must solicit your strictest confidence in this transaction. This by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential a
  • History of Unix. http://www.levenez.com/wall/ and http://www.levenez.com/unix/

  • Regarding your claim gentlemen! (Score:3, Funny)

    by notque ( 636838 ) on Sunday August 17, 2003 @04:28PM (#6718362) Homepage Journal
    With all the SCO news lately, it's nice to see something with a bit of humor in it.

    I thought all of the SCO news had humour in it.

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