Microsoft's Forgotten Mistakes

Microsoft's Forgotten Mistakes 700

Posted by timothy on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:21PM from the 99-percent-perspiration dept.

seattlenerd writes "In light of all of the hype about how much cash Microsoft is sitting on, it's good to be reminded that they do fail. A lot. This piece in Seattle Weekly points out some of the many failures -- from ActiMates Barney to Microsoft at Work to pending disasters in smartphones and interactive TV (despite recent PR-worthy announcements). But like most litter, the failures are swept under the rug in the hopes people don't remember that many 'new' Microsoft ideas are recycled from its own history." Of course, like any big company, Microsoft is not a monolith.

Microsoft's Forgotten Mistakes

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MS Failures... (Score:3, Funny)

by GigsVT ( 208848 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:22PM (#6553809) Journal

You forgot to mention Windows.

I wish (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:24PM (#6553827)

I could fail and be rich at the same time too.

FP

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:5, Funny)

by jpmkm ( 160526 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:24PM (#6553830) Homepage

I'm pretty sure they didn't.

Man I love that quote... (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:30PM (#6553890)

Of course, like any big company, Microsoft is not a monolith.....

Yes, but they do have a heart of stone.

Looks Like Troll Microsoft Day.

Not a monolith, huh? (Score:5, Funny)

by Henry V .009 ( 518000 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:34PM (#6553921) Journal

The first time I ever got to the Easter Egg in Excel:

"My God, it's full of stars."

And I am sure that Windows 2025 will periodically lock me out of my house and try to kill me with my robotic lawn mower.

Stop the presses! (Score:3, Funny)

by telstar ( 236404 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:35PM (#6553928)

It's not the Seattle Weekly's job to point out Microsoft's failures ... that's a job for Slashdot!

Wait a minute... (Score:5, Funny)

by brooks_talley ( 86840 ) writes: <brooks@frn[ ]om ['k.c' in gap]> on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:38PM (#6553950) Journal

You mean Microsoft may actually be working to skew news coverage and public opinion towards the things they've been successful at? And away from technical and marketing blunders?

What an outrage! I'm going to write to my representatives right now and demand a new law that forces companies to educate consumers about both their strengths and weaknesses, and that requires them to spend an equal amount on publicizing past failures as they do on promoting new initiatives.

I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you. What a failure of the market! What an unconscionable series of dirty tricks from Microsoft! How dare they! Hey, does anyone know what the school assembly is about today?

Cheers
-b

Oddly named products (Score:5, Funny)

by Aldurn ( 187315 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:38PM (#6553954)

I do actually have a copy of the Microsoft Wine Guide sitting on my desk.

I did a double-take when I saw it at the library.

(It's not on Microsoft's site anymore, but the first Google hit was a review [worldvillage.com] of it).

ActiMates Barney (Score:3, Funny)

by bakkajin ( 226147 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:39PM (#6553965)

When I was working at a software store we got one of the Barney's in. We used to cover up the eyes of Barney for a few mintues at a time just to hear the complaints that he would start saying.

Where did you go?

I can't see you.

I'm scared of the dark.

Let's play another game!

Cheap laughs at Barney's expense. We never did sell the thing though.

Re:Abe Lincoln... (Score:2, Funny)

by beerman2k ( 521609 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:39PM (#6553967) Homepage

Well of course not. They use the same logic as sports casters. If you've recently failed a few times, than your "due" for a big payoff!

Re:What about Bob? (Score:2, Funny)

by FedeTXF ( 456407 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:40PM (#6553970)

My copy of Mozilla is so good when you search 'bob' it found 'a cartoony "social interface" to make Windows appear friendlier to the pathologically computer phobic' as a match.

What about... (Score:5, Funny)

by tds67 ( 670584 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:41PM (#6553976)

Let us not forget the iLoo [com.com], Microsoft's crappiest idea yet.

MS Bob meet Mrs Bob (Score:3, Funny)

by linuxislandsucks ( 461335 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:41PM (#6553988) Homepage Journal

what about Mrs Bob?

oh wait she went on to make min-Bobs with Bill Gates..

Re:Not a monolith, huh? (Score:3, Funny)

by sTalking_Goat ( 670565 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:44PM (#6554011) Homepage

And I am sure that Windows 2025 will periodically lock me out of my house and try to kill me with my robotic lawn mower.
god don't be so cynical. Win 2025 will do none of those things. It might however replay objects when something is changed giving you that strange feeling of Deja Vu, and there's always the posibilty that'll it'l send men in SNAZZY black suits after you if you start asking questions like "What is real?". But these aren't things you should worry about. Nothing to see here. Move along...

Re:Failure breeds success (Score:3, Funny)

by The Masked Fruitcake ( 630078 ) writes: <matt&starvale,net> on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:44PM (#6554013) Journal

Ugh! After this article, Slashdot needs a new mod category:

-1, Cliché

Re:Failure breeds success (Score:3, Funny)

by jazman_777 ( 44742 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:44PM (#6554015) Homepage

If you are afraid to fail, you will never succeed.
If you are afraid to succeed, you will never fail.

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:3, Funny)

by TastyWords ( 640141 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:48PM (#6554041)

Clippy is Microsoft Bob's inbred descendent.

Journalistic critique (Score:4, Funny)

by tarquin_fim_bim ( 649994 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:48PM (#6554042)

"Yet Microsoft has trouble whenever it tries to grow outside of this core competency"

Is competency really the correct word to use here?

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:3, Funny)

by the_tallman ( 544786 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:49PM (#6554061)

The highlight of Macworld Boston for me was the excellent anti-MS Bob t-shirts. [archive.org] The back of the shirt featured a Marathon "Bob" (human assistant) grabbing MS Bob by his collar and holding a gun to his face. In bloody letters the caption read, "My Bob is bigger than your Bob." Priceless.

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:3, Funny)

by Eevee ( 535658 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:50PM (#6554069)

I prefer Links the cat myself. However, I can't stand the hints, so I turned them off. And the responding to F1. Oh, and the assist with wizards option. And the display alerts.

So now he sits on the screen and does nothing but sleep and lick himself, with the occasional meow to annoy me. Just like a real cat.

Re:Nice flamebait! (Score:2, Funny)

by inbox ( 310337 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:50PM (#6554070)

they certainly weren't a government granted monopoly like AT&T once was.
No, but they're a government granted monopoly now!

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:2, Funny)

by Don Calamari ( 144891 ) writes: <doncalamari @ g m a i l . com> on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:51PM (#6554075) Homepage

Funny, I went to a product launch of Office XP (Ex paperclip?) and the MS reps had put together a promotional video starring Clippy. Just so happens the guy they hired to do the annoying voice of clippy was Gilbert Gottfried. And they did have Gilbert's voice saying: "It looks like you're writting a letter."

Re:Remember MS Bob ? (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:53PM (#6554089)

Where is she now and what's she doing? She's Mrs. Gates.
That response answers neither question.

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:54PM (#6554096)

Actually I think Clippy might be a distant relative of 'Smilin' Jack Fission' from the Simpsons.

No mention of my favourite technet article... (Score:2, Funny)

by wo1verin3 ( 473094 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:54PM (#6554100) Homepage

Sometimes Barney Starts Playing Peekaboo on His Own [microsoft.com]

A couple more of Microsoft's forgotten mistakes (Score:5, Funny)

by DogIsMyCoprocessor ( 642655 ) writes: <dogismycoprocessor@yah o o . c om> on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:54PM (#6554105) Homepage
- Getting involved in a land war in Asia
- Going in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line
Re:MS Failures... (Score:3, Funny)

by _Sprocket_ ( 42527 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:57PM (#6554121)

Yeah, it was a huge blunder for MS to do all the R&D for KDE and Gnome to copy and give away free.

Wait. I thought KDE and GNOME were using Apple's R&D. At least, that's was the impression I got with the ceast and desist over my favorite Aqua theme.

All kidding aside, its getting very hard to tell these days. I've noticed Windows and MacOS like elements in both KDE and GNOME. But at the same time, I've seen some WinXP screenshots that have looked very Linux-like at first blush.

Little wonder Apple gets pissy about Aqua knock-offs.

That is so untrue (Score:4, Funny)

by burgburgburg ( 574866 ) writes: <splisken06@@@email...com> on Monday July 28, 2003 @05:57PM (#6554124)

[spoiler alert]

Young Mr. Lincoln [imdb.com] saved those Clay boys and proved that it was John Palmer Cass that did the stabbing.
If that wasn't an innovative use of the Farmer's Almanac to prove it couldn't have been moon bright, I don't know what is!

Re:Not a monolith, huh? (Score:2, Funny)

by JanneM ( 7445 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @06:01PM (#6554147) Homepage

Nah, they're not a monolith. If they were, they'd be in orbit around Jupiter right now instead of producing software. The real test of course comes in 2010 when we find out if MS will eat Jupiter or not.

No microsoft Mistake will be forgotten (Score:5, Funny)

by geekoid ( 135745 ) writes: <dadinportlandNO@SPAMyahoo.com> on Monday July 28, 2003 @06:04PM (#6554171) Homepage Journal

as long as there is /.

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:3, Funny)

by EvanED ( 569694 ) writes: <evaned@NOspAM.gmail.com> on Monday July 28, 2003 @06:10PM (#6554207)

I was also in a computer lab as a continuing ed class was being given with a bunch of old people. One of them, after opening Word, says "How do I get rid of this damn paperclip."

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:5, Funny)

by csguy314 ( 559705 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @06:11PM (#6554212) Homepage
It looks like you're writing a pro-Microsoft post on Slashdot. Would you like me to:
- Slashdot your homepage into oblivion
- Send several million trolls your email address
- Revoke your access to Slashdot
- Send you a complementary MCSE certification
Re:MS Failures... (Score:1, Funny)

by NanoGator ( 522640 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @06:41PM (#6554402) Homepage Journal

"Shut up and get back under Bill's desk, boy."

I'm surprised Linus lets you talk with your mouth full.

Even BSOD... (Score:5, Funny)

by jmoriarty ( 179788 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @06:49PM (#6554451)

...went through several revisions. First was the Pink Screen Of Pain, then the Tangerine Screen Of Torture. It wasn't until several million dollars had been poured into Windows development that the Blue Screen Of Death finally became the norm.

Re:MS Failures... (Score:5, Funny)

by reynaert ( 264437 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @06:51PM (#6554461)

I'm surprised nobody mentioned Microsoft OS/2.

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:2, Funny)

by b!arg ( 622192 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @06:59PM (#6554512) Homepage Journal

I work as a sysadmin and the users here treat these things as pets...the dog lover has the dog and the cat lover has the cat. I was once working on someone's PC, got rid of the dog because it was getting in the way and forgot to reactivate it. When she got back to her computer she noticed this and walked to the other end of the office to tell me to put her dog back on her PC.

Re:MS Failures... (Score:4, Funny)

by Bananenrepublik ( 49759 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @07:03PM (#6554528)

So if you want to scroll down just to read line by line, then go back up, you have to fly your cursor back up to the top of the screen.

This lead to the innovation of the mouse wheel. Why cure a problem in software if you can sell hardware?

Maybe UC Should've Made People Pay (Score:3, Funny)

by reallocate ( 142797 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @07:09PM (#6554570)

Maybe it was a huge blunder for UC not to make people pay for that TCP/IP stack.

California taxpayers might have gotten a little relief.

Re:Not a monolith, huh? (Score:3, Funny)

by Darth ( 29071 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @07:12PM (#6554597) Homepage

i strongly disagree. the matrix REQUIRES the ability to have a massive number of concurrent users and to effectively constrain administrator rights away from the majority of them. It clearly isnt windows.

Re:MS Failures... (Score:4, Funny)

by JanusFury ( 452699 ) writes: <kevin...gadd@@@gmail...com> on Monday July 28, 2003 @07:34PM (#6554731) Homepage Journal

I guess that's why OS X's close button is right next to its Minimize too?

Right. :)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:3, Funny)

by Billly Gates ( 198444 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @07:41PM (#6554785) Journal

Well I suppose its my own personal failure when I waited outside Best Buy for Windows95. DUH (please don't tell anyone I said that).

Re:Remember MS Bob ? (Score:2, Funny)

by jvollmer ( 456588 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @07:52PM (#6554869)

Melinda French. Where is she now and what's she doing?
Hey, we're all getting fscked by Bill.

Ahhh.. Bob.. (Score:5, Funny)

by Drathos ( 1092 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @08:11PM (#6555023)

I remember the first (and last) time I saw MS Bob. It was running on a computer at CompUSA. Really annoying.. I asked the nearest sales guy what he thought of if. "Damned annoying. We can't get it to stop."

I uninstalled it.. He thanked me..

Re:Remember MS Bob ? (Score:5, Funny)

by One Louder ( 595430 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @09:13PM (#6555480)

In my opinion, the penalty for failure at Microsoft is far too severe .

Re:MS Failures... (Score:5, Funny)

by NeoSkandranon ( 515696 ) writes: on Monday July 28, 2003 @09:33PM (#6555614)

Um, there's an entire other button between the minimize and close buttons. If you're missing that badly perhaps you have other issues you need to work on

Re:MS Failures... (Score:2, Funny)

by OOGG_THE_CAVEMAN ( 609069 ) writes: on Tuesday July 29, 2003 @12:47AM (#6556642)

Speaking of tray, OOGG think of one thing indeed worse than overriding behavior of close. Tray icons never standardize on right click or left click for important action.

OOGG spend much time (admittedly, on machine lacking sufficient RAM, so must usually wait for swap to stone-age hard drive) click on task bar button, wait for response, think, HMM, OOGG, PERHAPS NOT RIGHT CLICK, BUT LEFT CLICK or PERHAPS NOT LEFT CLICK, BUT RIGHT CLICK.

Frustration make OOGG want to use club. At least club consistent: small end used for hand, large end used for head of UI "designer."

OOGG crack Bill Gates' head with Open Source CD!

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:3, Funny)

by OOGG_THE_CAVEMAN ( 609069 ) writes: on Tuesday July 29, 2003 @01:02AM (#6556714)

OOGG once try customize Assistant. Pick figure of Einstein. OOGG expect knowledge of general relativity be handy supplement to stone-age physics training.

OOGG soon find Einstein as stupid as paper clip!

Assistant have very important feature, however. No matter how badly stone-age machine thrash due to RAM shortage, Einstein still use machine cycles to rock back on heels, look around screen, generally observing lack of useful work going on.

Re:the close button... (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday July 29, 2003 @07:14AM (#6557730)

well, mine is 50 size.
desktop->apperance->caption button->set to 50
you can make it even bigger so it fills the whole screen. you won't miss it!

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MS Failures... (Score:3, Funny)

I wish (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:5, Funny)

Man I love that quote... (Score:3, Funny)

Not a monolith, huh? (Score:5, Funny)

Stop the presses! (Score:3, Funny)

Wait a minute... (Score:5, Funny)

Oddly named products (Score:5, Funny)

ActiMates Barney (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Abe Lincoln... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:What about Bob? (Score:2, Funny)

What about... (Score:5, Funny)

MS Bob meet Mrs Bob (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Not a monolith, huh? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Failure breeds success (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Failure breeds success (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:3, Funny)

Journalistic critique (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Nice flamebait! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Remember MS Bob ? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:1, Funny)

No mention of my favourite technet article... (Score:2, Funny)

A couple more of Microsoft's forgotten mistakes (Score:5, Funny)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:3, Funny)

That is so untrue (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Not a monolith, huh? (Score:2, Funny)

No microsoft Mistake will be forgotten (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Don't forget the ever popular clippy (Score:5, Funny)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:1, Funny)

Even BSOD... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:4, Funny)

Maybe UC Should've Made People Pay (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Not a monolith, huh? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Remember MS Bob ? (Score:2, Funny)

Ahhh.. Bob.. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Remember MS Bob ? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:MS Failures... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Don't forget Microsoft Bob! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:the close button... (Score:2, Funny)

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