SCO Amends Suit, Clarifies "Violations", Triples Damages 1347
Bootsy Collins writes "This evening on C|Net contains three new items. First, they've upped the damages they're seeking to $3 billion. Second, they claim that by making SMP technology generally available through Linux, IBM violated federal export controls and thus breached their contract with SCO through committing an illegal act. Finally, they elaborate on one specific technology they claim rights to which IBM inserted into the 2.5 kernel series -- the
read-copy update memory management features which went in at 2.5.43.
Unclear is why SCO thinks they have the rights to RCU, since the technology was originally developed by Sequent in the early 1990s."
Revealed! Whole programs copied in Linux!! (Score:3, Funny)
In Unix, a zero length file is a valid shell script, that has an exit value of true. Thus, here is the whole program copied --
At least we know now what they're "smoking" (Score:5, Funny)
"There are two major products that come from Berkeley : LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." -- Jeremy S. Anderson
Soon SCO will claim ownership for LSD too
Only 3 billion? (Score:3, Funny)
30 billion? 300 billion? 3 trillion?
Cmon SCO, make those claims WORTH something!
IBM's view (Score:5, Funny)
Open Letter to CmdrTaco (Score:4, Funny)
On behalf of the /. crowd, I am formally requesting that the Caldera/SCO widget be changed to a steaming pile of poo.
We feel that this is more appropriate.
Sincerely, /.
SCO (Score:3, Funny)
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH MUAHAHAHA -gasp- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH
Next they'll be getting the U.N. involved!
Steve
IBM should countersue... (Score:5, Funny)
3 billion ? (Score:2, Funny)
Slashdot - (Score:5, Funny)
I wonder how Bill Gates will take losing the "Number One" spot here at
Re:They must really be scared now. (Score:4, Funny)
Admittedly, I wouldn't mind seeing D'ohl McBride stood in a street corner shouting idiotic nonsense at passers by. At least then his actions would be socialy unacceptable and the authorities could lock him up. It seems that it is perfectly O.K to act like a paranoid loon if you're a CEO and your conspiricy theories are printed in an international news outlet. Then its O.K
If you were an SCO employee, would you feel at least a little concerned that your boss is aparently dilusional? I know I would.
Re:Only 3 billion? (Score:3, Funny)
YEAH!
What a bunch of slackers.
Re:Revealed! Whole programs copied in Linux!! (Score:5, Funny)
At risk of provoking another lawsuit:
# @(#) true.sh 1.4 88/11/11
#
#
# UNIX is a registered trademark of AT&T
# Portions Copyright 1976-1989 AT&T
# Portions Copyright 1980-1989 Microsoft Corporation
# Portions Copyright 1983-1989 The Santa Cruz Operation, Inc
# All Rights Reserved
# Copyright (c) 1984 AT&T
# All Rights Reserved
# THIS IS UNPUBLISHED PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODE OF AT&T
# The copyright notice above does not evidence any
# actual or intended publication of such source code.
IBM to SCO (Score:5, Funny)
I see your 3 billion and raise you two more. Show your cards...
Re:I've been away, so maybe this has been suggeste (Score:5, Funny)
Godwin's law v2 (Score:5, Funny)
So IBM is helping terrorists and rogue states now? I think we need an addition to Godwin's Law [science.uva.nl] - "As a dispute goes on, the probability of one side claiming the other is helping terrorists approaches one"
Re:Only 3 billion? (Score:5, Funny)
*raises pinky finger to corner of mouth*
Re:SMP? RCU? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Open Letter to CmdrTaco (Score:3, Funny)
Re:IBM should countersue... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Open Letter to CmdrTaco (Score:5, Funny)
Re:As exciting as it is... (Score:4, Funny)
I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm still loving it. I especially liked the bit about exporting to axis of evil countries, and the weaponisation of linux. And doubling the claim just when things are getting hairy for them. It's like a failed poker player trying to pull off the biggest bluff in history, when everyone knows he's only got a pair. When this goes to court, it'll be hillarious. Go SCO!
Re:Imaginative Slashdotters (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Something to consider... (Score:5, Funny)
I hate those unfair suppositories, especially from Microsoft.
I always knew Bill Gates was trying to shove something up my bunghole.
Re:Revealed! Whole programs copied in Linux!! (Score:5, Funny)
But shame on you for revealing all of SCO's intellectual property! Don't you realise what this will do to their stock price? You've got a trade secret law suit on the way buddy.
Re:Timeline of SCO events? (Score:3, Funny)
Like that matters! All you need to know is (repeat after me) SCO bad; Linux good. SCO bad; Linux good.
Future think (Score:5, Funny)
No, seriously, you need to fuck off now. It's not funny anymore.
Re:SCO claims RCU is derivative of SysV (Score:5, Funny)
You can only fight insanity with insanity.
Re:SMP? RCU? (Score:5, Funny)
Who else very recently made the Linux kernel freely available to any foreign party including terrorists, communists and all three vertices of the Axis of Evil?
Hmmm?
Could it be .... SCO!!!???
Didn't they do the due dilligence to see if the capabilities that they were distributing were exportable under U.S. law? Looks like they didn't, and now OBL himself could very well be running Caldera Linux on the Beowulf cluster in his cave simulating thermonuclear explosions.
Hey kids! Its time for fun with numbers! (Score:2, Funny)
--
Comments from my blog at MemeStreams [memestreams.net]
Re:IBM should countersue... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Open Letter to CmdrTaco (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Only 3 billion? (Score:3, Funny)
Throw me a friggin bone here I've been locked-up doing SMP kernel developer for the last 20 years...ok?
Future lawsuit headlines (Score:5, Funny)
Damages go up to 15 trillion when SCO discovers that gravity and other basic laws of the Universe which IBM has been using to build servers formed a basis for SCO's machines first.
Finally, SCO ups damages to (quoting here) "forty bazillion-kabillion" for "having a successful business," which is what SCO was planning to do but couldn't because of IBM.
It should be noted that this last figure was given just before the Executive board collectively passed out after coming down dangerously from a hallucenagic high caused by dry-erase markers, non-dairy creamer, pez, and possibly other office-related recreational drugs.
Re:IBM's view (Score:5, Funny)
"Today IBM successfully convinced the judge to amend the claim to $3 i Billion, to reflect the imaginary validity of SCO's case"
Re:At least we know now what they're "smoking" (Score:5, Funny)
If they've already been experimenting with this technology, that would explain A LOT.
Re:Release the ninjas... (Score:5, Funny)
IBM are a superpower of villains. They are superpower of Al Capone. These cowards have no morals - they have no shame about lying. We will slaughter them all
Mohammed al-Sahaf (now SCO press spokesman)
Re:Godwin's law v2 (Score:3, Funny)
In Brazil
Troc
SCOX now seeks $50 billion: *not* a joke (Score:2, Funny)
President: "Ha ha ha! 100 Billion dollars? That's like asking for a bajillion trillion!"
Dr. Evil: "C'mon, Mr. President, show me the money."
Scott: "You're a moron."
a sound reverberates from Redmond (Score:3, Funny)
It's like hiring the Three Stooges to fix your plumbing. Yeah, we'll *triple* the damages! Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck.
Re:Godwin's law v2 (Score:5, Funny)
There's no need to make an addition to Godwin's Law itself. From now on, we'll just have Godwin's Law and the Ashcroft Corollary.
Re:Revealed! Whole programs copied in Linux!! (Score:2, Funny)
It might be that the UnixWare version is faster however as it, unlike the Solaris version, doesn't need a shared library.
However the Solaris version might use less memory (as /usr/bin/sh is more likely to be loaded than /sbin/sh).
Ah, it's so difficult working out which performance tradeoffs to make.
I wonder how many people have spent time working on /usr/bin/true between the 1.1 version in V5.4es to 1.4 in UnixWare, to 1.6 in Solaris?
Inconceivable (Score:5, Funny)
SCO: They built a better OS using so-called open source methods? Inconceivable!
IBM: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Re:IBM's view (Score:3, Funny)
Imaginary numbers? I doubt SCO wants to be paid in dot-com stock.
--JoeRe:Open Letter to CmdrTaco (Score:2, Funny)
I am sorry, but this would be an insult to fecal matter everywhere. Please try again.
Re:Open Letter to CmdrTaco (Score:3, Funny)
Oh, you mean Chet from "Wierd Science"!
Re:I've been away, so maybe this has been suggeste (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Ha ha (Score:2, Funny)
So what you're saying is that after reading all the legal briefs and filings in the case, after studying all the evidence from both sides, based upon your expert knowledge of the law, (I'm assuming you're a lawyer who specalizes in this specific area) you don't see any LEGAL basis for their lawsuit???
I mean, I just want to clarify exactly what you're saying here, just so I understand you.
Re:SMP? RCU? (Score:2, Funny)
I think: wouldn't that mean SCO themselves are also breaking any export restrictions if IBM were?
I recommend Ashcroft look over SCO's FTP logs for binladen@cave.com and shussein@iraq.com
I'm holding *INX hostage until you give me... (Score:4, Funny)
[Raise pinky]
[Dr. Evil]
$3 billion dollars
[/Dr. Evil]
[/Raise pinky]
Re:They must really be scared now. (Score:2, Funny)
Letter to IBM (Score:5, Funny)
I have become aware of a litigious situation between your company and that of Darl McBride (SCO). In your pending defense against their lawsuit(s) I would like to recommend to you that I, NMG be your sole defense attorney. I am not on your legal defense team, nor am I actually a lawyer. I am merely a reader of Slashdot [slashdot.org]. SCOâ(TM)s claimâ(TM)s of damages are so ludicrous, I believe that even a troop of Screaming Monkeyâ(TM)s could provide you proper defense. Unfortunately for you, the Screaming Monkeyâ(TM)s were already hired out for the year by the Federal Trade Commission. Therefore, I extend an offer of my services for your legal defense in return for a pack of smokes, a ThinkPad and a chance to punch SCO in the kisser. This union will save you a bundle of money in defense feeâ(TM)s and will save your legal resources for your pending investigation with the horde of Screaming Monkeyâ(TM)s. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
a christmas song for SCO. (Score:2, Funny)
Oh the weather outsides delightful.
And McBride is surely frightful.
In case you didnt know
Bite me SCO, Bite me SC0, Bite me SCO.
Well, the SCO boys are surely crazy,
Too much crack makes their intellects lazy.
In case you didnt know:
Bite me SCO, Bite me SCO, Bite me SCO.
When we finally go to court,
How I hate dressing up for the day,
But if Blue really gets real mad.
you will just get blown AWAY.
Oh the weather outsides delightful.
And McBride is surely frightful.
In case you didnt know
Bite me SCO, Bite me SC0, Bite me SCO.
Re:I wouldn't mind... (Score:4, Funny)
"To be is to do" - Plato.
"Do be do be do" - Sinatra.
"Please pass the doobie" - Darl McBride.
Re:Open Letter to CmdrTaco (Score:3, Funny)
Bah, All I got was a lousy shirt. (Score:2, Funny)
Now, I want to throw them away and if someone should stop me in the street and ask if I know SCO, I would lie like a Judas and exclaim never to have heard of the company.Hell, I wouldn't even put it on my CV anymore! This is really sad. At least I can continue to wear my "Geek by Nature, Linux by choice" T-shirt with even more pride! It doesn't fit so well anymore though...
Non-dairy creamer? (Score:3, Funny)
SCO translated to Cavemanese: (Score:3, Funny)
I'm sorry, technical difficulties prevented the translation in Cavemanese. That was, in fact, the English version.
Re:IBM and Linux SMP (Score:2, Funny)
SCOs claims seem to change faster than I can type a sentence. By the time I press submit the claim may well have become that Linux contains ASCII art animal porn.
Who knows what those wacky guys will come up with next?
It was a misreading of the platitude (Score:3, Funny)
SCO isn't scared at all. (Score:5, Funny)
We have now identified lots of code copied source from our precious SCO Unix.
Here are 2 of the worst offending code snippets:
Please look at our SCO-Unix code, you will see how shamelessly those lines were copied:
And there are 58 other lines of shamelessly copied source code in Linux. Our marketing department has calculated that each line of code is worth 50,000,000 $ which translates to an average of about 10,000,000$ per character. We have found copied characters worth of 5,693,340,000,000 $ in the Linux source code, however, because we are generous, we only insist on the fully copied lines of code. However, if IBM doesn't pay, we might be forced to demand the full amount.
But for now, I only demand IBM to pay 3,000,000,000 $ within 2 weeks to this account:
account holder: Barl McDride
account no: 4239573204
Royal Cayman Bank
134 Ocean Boulevard, Cayman Islands
Every week of delay will cause another 1,000,000,000 $ due to lost sales, mental stress and other damages which have to be paid to the same account, so please pay quickly, or else.
Sincirely, your pal
Darl McBride
Re:IBM and Linux SMP (Score:4, Funny)
SCOs claims seem to change faster than I can type a sentence. By the time I press submit the claim may well have become that Linux contains ASCII art animal porn.
Who knows what those wacky guys will come up with next? </quote>
Oh, great. Now you've given them the idea of copyrighting the goatse.cx man in ascii art, copying it into their source, changing the file dates, and suing about half of all /. posters :-(
SCO in court:
Q: What does this section of code do?
A: It's for catching bad pointers.
Q: And it's in your original SCO Unix code?
A: Yes. Look at the comments (referring to ascii goatse.cx artwork). It means you're badly f$cked up.
Dog on Tree. (Score:3, Funny)
I'm glad I'm an American, I'm glad I'm free,
I wish I were a dog and SCO was a tree.
Brilliant... (Score:5, Funny)
Well I'm English so as a country I hearby give notice that all people in the world who are using English are breaking copyright and all derivative works (including technical specifications and patent applications) are now owned by the UK Goverment.
We are also claiming Charles Babbage and all derivative works that involve computation and concepts of automated computing.
Unfortunately the Iraqi's are now claiming that they invented writing, the Chinese are laying claim to printing and basically everyone on without a 2,000 year+ history is screwed.
Stop the fighting! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:true (Score:5, Funny)
Too bad we can't get them to do it the right way, with version numbers and ReadMe's stating changes since the previous version.
Re:They must really be scared now. (Score:5, Funny)
ONE [ HUNDRED ] BILLION DOLLARS! (Score:5, Funny)
Dr.Evil:
Number Two: That already happend.
Dr.Evil: Sh.t! Oh well, let's draft some frivolous lawsuit and sue the world's biggest computer company for...
ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Number Two: *cough* Don't you think we should ask for more?
Dr.Evil: OK. And sue them for ONE BILLION DOLLARS!
Or heck, make it three.
Good.
Re:They must really be scared now. (Score:3, Funny)
Kind of like this...
Resume for Albrecht Speer
Previous experience:
1923-1925: Architekt, Reichstag
1925-1927: Head designer, Deutsches Bundeswerk
1927-1931: Factory Designer, Porsche
1931-1945: Unemployed.
(Yes, I made up the history so don't bother...)
Re:They must really be scared now. (Score:3, Funny)
It didn't work so well for H. Ross Perot. :)
Re:They must really be scared now. (Score:2, Funny)
That is McBribe not McBride (Score:3, Funny)
shesshhh spelling on
Re:IBM won't settle (Score:5, Funny)
the 17% solution only makes sense if SCO has a minimal chance of winning the suit and gettint a reasonable percentage of what they're claiming. Right now, they're suing IBM for GPL'ing a piece of code that (as far as I can tell) was created by a sequent -> IBM employee (and, I presume, assigned to Sequent then transferred to IBM).
This is my quick summary of the SCO conversation:
Re:They must really be scared now. (Score:3, Funny)
SCOs claims are much closer to pirates, and we all know pirates are cooler than ninjas.
Re:You horrible person! (Score:1, Funny)
The general rule is as follows:
IF AN ANIMAL IS RARE, PRETTY, BIG, CUTE, FURRY,
HUGGABLE, OR LOVABLE, THEN IT HAS RIGHTS.
Examine the following chart:
RIGHTS NO RIGHTS
-------- -----------
cows cockroaches
cute bunnies flies
dolphins in tuna nets tuna in tuna nets
whales sharks
red squirrels gray squirrels
owls loggers
harbor seals barnacles
SCo vs IBM IRC Chat (Score:4, Funny)
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell>
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI>
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)
From : http://www.livejournal.com/community/linux/397771
Which piece of IBM equipment? (Score:2, Funny)
Need I say more?
Re:They must really be scared now. (Score:3, Funny)
I doubt any employee of SCO is under the delusion that Darl McBride is a prophet...
Don't give him ideas, man! :)
what if the sco case was on irc? (Score:3, Funny)
Repeated here to avoid slashdot affect:
Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell>
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI>
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)
Re:And of course the Syrian connection... (Score:4, Funny)
Either way you're talking about a delusional maniac spewing lies anyone with a scrap of sense knows are crap.