Buy Your Own Aircraft Carrier

Buy Your Own Aircraft Carrier 518

Posted by michael on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:40PM from the you-know-you've-always-wanted-one dept.

Vodalian writes "Distinction as the last surviving Aircraft Carrier built in England for WW II and commissioned as the HMS Vengeance in late 1944, this unique vessel served the British then the Australian Navy as HMAS Vengeance prior to her sale to Brazil In 1956. Undergoing reconstruction and overhaul in Rotterdam from 1957 to 1960 she was commissioned as the Minas Gerais in December of that year. During her service with the Brazilian Navy she was overhauled from 1976 to 1980 completing a 5-year refit in 1981. She was decommissioned on the 16th of October 2001 and is currently for sale."

Buy Your Own Aircraft Carrier

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Build your own aircraft carrier... (Score:5, Funny)

by TheMidget ( 512188 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:42PM (#6085999)

... and whack those crazy Merkins and their DMCA laws with it! We want a free Europe!!!!
Frist Psot?

build or buy ? (Score:5, Funny)

by Spacelord ( 27899 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:42PM (#6086000)

For a second I thought it said *build* your own aircraft carrier .... now that would have been a feat :)

Hmmm (Score:2, Funny)

by PS-SCUD ( 601089 ) writes: <peternormanscott&yahoo,com> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:43PM (#6086004) Journal

It's just a guess, but I think you'd need something bigger than a creek to sail that in!

Put that baby on eBay !!! (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:44PM (#6086009)

No reserve, I'll give em' $50 bucks. Buyer pays shipping

Bring idea! (Score:4, Funny)

by chrisgeleven ( 514645 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:44PM (#6086010) Homepage

Corporations this is your chance to become a world power by buying your very own aircraft carrier! Of course you have to fund the personnel to run the carrier and then get some fighter jets but imagine the countries you can frighten into accepting your tyrannical contracts!

reservations... (Score:2, Funny)

by inkedmn ( 462994 ) writes: <`moc.nmdekni' `ta' `nmdekni'> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:45PM (#6086014) Homepage

i can't even imagine what a nightmare it'd be getting that thing wired for cable...

Perfect! (Score:5, Funny)

by Judg3 ( 88435 ) writes: <jeremy@pa[ ]ck.com ['vle' in gap]> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:46PM (#6086025) Homepage Journal

This goes along with my plans.
1. Change name ti L. Bob Rife
2. Create cable TV monopoly
3. Start own religion
4. Work on meta-virus
5. Buy aircraft carrier
6. Get residents of 3rd world country to do my bidding!

Sweet!

Yours for only... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:47PM (#6086026)

$4,500,000(USD)

of course that is the sticker price. surely you could beat the salesperson down 15%.
well, maybe "beat" is the wrong adjective when the salesperson is saling a weapon of war.

Slow day? (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:47PM (#6086028)

This article is proof that Saturday is always slow at the Slashdot office

Bass Boat (Score:2, Funny)

by laosland ( 55769 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:47PM (#6086030)

This would make one hell of a bass boat... Think of the size of the trolling motor you'd need.

Re:Build your own aircraft carrier... (Score:2, Funny)

by BriSTO(V)L ( 668928 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:48PM (#6086033) Journal

The rumour that this CV has already been secretly bought by the RIAA for an unspecified "future project" is probably no more than that: an unsubstantiated rumour... ("...Tomorrow the World!!!")

offtopic, i know... (Score:5, Funny)

by xao gypsie ( 641755 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:48PM (#6086041)

...but man, she gets around more than my ex-girlfriend...

xao

It's already set up for soccer (Score:4, Funny)

by Chairboy ( 88841 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:49PM (#6086043) Homepage

According to an article I read, while the flight deck elevator (that brings planes up to the top from the hangar) works, the actual hangar deck has been converted to a soccer arena.

I'm in! (Score:5, Funny)

by fadeaway ( 531137 ) * writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:49PM (#6086047)

If 15,000 of us put in $300, we could get this baby.

Oh, the LAN parties we could have on the SS /.!

Re:build or buy ? (Score:2, Funny)

by NineBall ( 627668 ) writes: <Just forget it, ... g out my adress.> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:49PM (#6086049) Journal

Well, considering some of the other stories [slashdot.org] on slashdot, you never know.

Minas Gerais (Score:3, Funny)

by lgordon ( 103004 ) writes: <larry DOT gordon AT gmail DOT com> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:50PM (#6086052) Journal

Oh well. I thought they were selling something cool, like Minas Tirith or Minas Morgul.

Someone call Larry Ellison! (Score:5, Funny)

by Spacelord ( 27899 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:52PM (#6086062)

Someone call Larry Ellison! Would make a great addition to his MiG fighter jet.

weapon of mass destruction (Score:5, Funny)

by koi88 ( 640490 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:56PM (#6086081)

Maybe George W. should buy it and write "Saddamz aircraft carria" on it. That should convince the few unpatriotic people who still doubt the justification for attacking Iraq.

Status! (Score:3, Funny)

by davidc ( 91400 ) writes: <cdpuff@gmail.DALIcom minus painter> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:57PM (#6086090)

Remember, once you got an aircraft carrier, you really somebody, you got status ! People will no longer think you are a pickled herring salesman, nossir!
(Showing my age, with apologies to de voice of John Bird, played by de honorable Idi Amin Esq.)

Apparently (Score:5, Funny)

by Timesprout ( 579035 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:58PM (#6086091)

De-Commissioned November 2001, Sold to Private concerns 2002, Sale did not complete.

Bin Laden gets sea sick

Linux? (Score:5, Funny)

by gspr ( 602968 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:58PM (#6086093)

Does she run Linux?

Cool, but... (Score:4, Funny)

by Scalli0n ( 631648 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @03:59PM (#6086099) Homepage

As always, I must present the downside:

1. Do you know how to drive an aircraft carrier? I don't think it has merely a gas/brake/steering wheel.
2. Which country was going to let you bring that monstrosity into their port again...?
3. Don't these things require a crew of 1000's? Or at least 100 people I'd imagine, more if something goes wrong!
4. It costs me $20 to fill my car up at the gas station...dear god, I don't even want to think of this!!!

But beyond that, a cool purchase to be sure. It would be even funnier if it were on ebay.

Re:$4.5 million USD! (Score:5, Funny)

by Timesprout ( 579035 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:03PM (#6086114)

And anyone who slacks on the rent gets shot off the catapult

Diamond Age.... (Score:4, Funny)

by MrWa ( 144753 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:03PM (#6086116) Homepage

So which billionaire Chinese man is going to buy this and raise thousands of orphan girls to raise into a karate-kicking, boot-toting army? [amazon.com]

Re:Hell of a dance floor (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:04PM (#6086117)

See that ship over there? They're re-broadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not express written consent -- or so the legend goes.

Cheap at the price! (Score:3, Funny)

by spinlocked ( 462072 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:05PM (#6086121)

$4.5m seems like a bargain until you tot up the running costs. Those admiralty drum boilers are thirsty beasts - HMS Belfast (a mere cruiser) had 4 of these, consuming ~26 tons of furnace fuel oil per hour at full steam. Plus of course the wages for your private army of mercenary sailors, uniforms, medals, rum, ex-soviet MiGs, an elaborate escape submarine - it soon adds up. It's not easy being an evil genius these days...

Re:Linux? (Score:2, Funny)

by Penguuu ( 263703 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:10PM (#6086145)

No, SCO bought it to enforce their copyrights, but Linux users run when they see it :)

Serious proposal... (Score:2, Funny)

by Uzull ( 16705 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:12PM (#6086153) Homepage

set up a paypal account to gather the 4,5m USD, ship it to international waters, close to a big communication node, set up a server farm aboard of it, and say f... you to RIAA/DMCA/Whatever for the sake of freedom of speech and thinking !!! Of course no "illegal activities" like terrorism, drug trafficing etc.
What do you think about it ?

Aircraft carrier HOWTOs (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:14PM (#6086157)
How to build an aircraft carrier:
1. Acquire necessary parts and materials.
2. Assemble.
How to turn any boat into an aircraft carrier:
1. Place aircraft on boat.
How to sink an aircraft carrier:
1. Make its average density greater than water.
You think... (Score:5, Funny)

by dentar ( 6540 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:17PM (#6086174) Homepage Journal

If I bought that aircraft carrier, then flew in on it dressed in a flight suit with the crotch all puffed up, people might be tricked into thinking -I- was a hero too?

Thought not.

I'd go for something a little more fuel efficient (Score:5, Funny)

by blair1q ( 305137 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:18PM (#6086182) Journal

Capacity: 3,196 Tons ...
Endurance: 12,000 Nautical miles @ 14 Knots, 6,200 Nautical Miles @ 25 Knots

So that's roughtly 4 nm/ton city, 2 highway.

Great for running around town, but where would you park it?

Brazilian navy still strong (Score:3, Funny)

by TrekkieGod ( 627867 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:21PM (#6086199) Homepage Journal

They still have 1 (one) aircraft carrier remaining...The "São Paulo".

But, heck, who needs aircraft carriers when you can have this baby [mar.mil.br]?

LOL...and before the flame war starts...please understand this is just a joke. The list of other ships [mar.mil.br] still commissioned is quite impressive.

Re:I'm in! (Score:5, Funny)

by aardwolf204 ( 630780 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:29PM (#6086233)

Have you ever been to a LAN party? Every time I go to one of these "massive lanning events" (200+ gamers) I'm stuck next to leety mc'leet's clan of anti-deoderant counter-strikers. Now throw 15,000 of these guys in a boat and add some sea sickness and you've got a biohazard.

Bring good things to life (Score:5, Funny)

by baldass_newbie ( 136609 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:30PM (#6086242) Homepage Journal

Is there a corporation rich enough to become a "super power"?

GE accounts for 1% of the US GDP and it's about the biggest F'ing company in the world (in terms of dollars and diversity) AND they make weapons systems.
So, I'd say 'No'.

Of course, they could kick France's ass, but then, so did Greenpeace.

Re:L. Bob Rife. (Score:3, Funny)

by AndroidCat ( 229562 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:36PM (#6086271) Homepage

"L. Bob Rife" who creates his own religion and navy? Neal Stephenson was lucky that $cientology didn't sue him for violating their IP.

Re:$4.5 million USD! (Score:4, Funny)

by Tumbleweed ( 3706 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:43PM (#6086308)

No, no, you make 'em walk the plank!

Or you keel-haul 'em. *ouch*

"Scrub the poop-deck? Where's that at - is it near the Lido deck?"

Re:offtopic, i know... (Score:5, Funny)

by fobbman ( 131816 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:44PM (#6086312) Homepage

...and carries about as much seamen...

Sorry dude, she was my ex-girlfriend, too.

Re:Perfect! (Score:3, Funny)

by powerlinekid ( 442532 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:46PM (#6086320)

I'm pretty sure that was covered by step 2 ;).

Let's get an aircraft carrier! (Score:5, Funny)

by Tumbleweed ( 3706 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:50PM (#6086336)

"It's only a model."

"Shhh!"

"What are we going to do today, Brain?" (Score:5, Funny)

by Tumbleweed ( 3706 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @04:55PM (#6086363)

"The same thing we do every day, Pinky, try to take over the world."

Aricraft *Carrirr*, not flyer (Score:3, Funny)

by AlecC ( 512609 ) writes: <aleccawley@gmail.com> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @05:03PM (#6086403)

Back in abot 1971 I saw this ship at anchor in Rio harour. i was told by my Brazilian host that the first aircraft launched from the flight deck by the Brazilians had gone down, not up - and splashed. Since then, no pilot brave enough to have a second try had been found.

Re:Perfect! (Score:3, Funny)

by unborracho ( 108756 ) writes: <ken.sykoraNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @05:32PM (#6086554) Homepage

7. ???
8. Profit!

Now all I want to now... (Score:3, Funny)

by littleRedFriend ( 456491 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @05:35PM (#6086565)

before buying this baby. Would Redmond be in missile range lying infront of the coast of Vancouver?

Buy it for Canada! (Score:5, Funny)

by farrellj ( 563 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @05:36PM (#6086569) Homepage Journal

We haven't had a carrier since the Bonaventure!!!! Please donate and help us out!

ttyl
Farrell

Re:Snowcrash (Score:3, Funny)

by jagilbertvt ( 447707 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @05:39PM (#6086577)

I was thinking the same thing. People, please contribute to my paypal donation fund, as I really want to buy this thing! You'll be more than welcome to join me on her when we rechristen it Enterprise and start a floating city in the Pacific.

Re:Nice Price (Score:3, Funny)

by DaveAtFraud ( 460127 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @05:48PM (#6086625) Homepage Journal

My brother-in-law was looking for a new fishing boat. I figure I'll tell him about it. He'd have room for lots of salmon on this baby.

Re:Diamond Age.... (Score:3, Funny)

by CheechBG ( 247105 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @05:57PM (#6086666) Homepage

No, with our luck the Scientologists will get their little grubby hands on it. Just what the world needs, a fake religious navy with a aircraft carrier.

$4,500,000, 6 million Slashdot users - chip in! (Score:5, Funny)

by TekPolitik ( 147802 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @06:00PM (#6086678) Journal

One Aircraft Carrier: $4,500,000.
Slashdot registered users: 6,000,000.
Online geek community with own aircraft carrier: Priceless.

Not New York Harbor ... (Score:2, Funny)

by mec ( 14700 ) writes: <mec@shout.net> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @06:01PM (#6086682) Journal

... Puget Sound.

Okay, now somebody make the joke about Battleships and Windows NT, please.

Re:I'd go for something a little more fuel efficie (Score:3, Funny)

by Stigmata669 ( 517894 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @06:09PM (#6086718)

am I the only person who read that as 4 nanometers/ton? I heard about $100 toilet seats, but ... wow.

Can I take it for a test drive? (Score:5, Funny)

by gilesjuk ( 604902 ) writes: <<giles.jones> <at> <zen.co.uk>> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @06:39PM (#6086860)

Well I want to see if it runs well :)

Re:$4,500,000, 6 million Slashdot users - chip in! (Score:2, Funny)

by frackyfreak ( 638154 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @06:52PM (#6086903)

I guess that will bring new meaning to: "slashdoting the server" ouch.

Re:I'm in! (Score:2, Funny)

by GnomeAttic ( 97126 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @07:09PM (#6086966) Homepage

Ok, new plan! We host an "ULTR4 1337 LAN party" on the boat, and when all the anti-deoderant counter-strikers are locked away on the boat, we sail them right off the edge of the earth. For a mere 4.5 mil, we can bring FPSs back to the commoners.

Man, you find some crazy stuff on E-Bay. (Score:3, Funny)

by surfcow ( 169572 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @08:25PM (#6087256) Homepage

For Sale: 500,000 lbs of chemical weapons, only used once. Be the envy of your region! Buyer pays shipping.

For Sale: special aluminium tubes for building a breeder reactor capable of creating weapon's grade materials, or perhaps just nice, shiny pipes for indoor plumbing.

Unique - mobile biological weapons laboratories of an ingenious design. Guaranteed to contain no trace of any biological weapons material. Needs work.

No Reserve! Blank Nigerian documents for Uranium exports, cheap. Great gag gift. No reserve!

Rare Collector's item: Nuclear warhead of North Korean design. Discount for unstable dictators.

First edition! "The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush". Mint condition. Buyer pays 37 cent postage.

Re:Not New York Harbor ... (Score:2, Funny)

by Rick.C ( 626083 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @08:54PM (#6087369)

Okay, now somebody make the joke about Battleships and Windows NT, please.
A new Midshipman with only one foot hops into a battleship. The bartender says, "What'll you have sailor?"
"Windows, no tomato," replies the Middie.
The bar-keep mixes up something and slides it down the bar. "Hey! This is a Blue-screen-of-death," protests the Middie. "I ordered a Windows, no tomato."
The bartender looks the sailor straight in the eye and says, "Inaccessable boot device."
Karma: worse than it was a few minutes ago.

Then the /. headline... (Score:5, Funny)

by SunPin ( 596554 ) writes: <slashspam AT cyberista DOT com> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @08:57PM (#6087375) Homepage

Ask Slashdot: A few months ago, we discussed how to buy an aircraft carrier. After a hectic fundraising bid, me and all my "friends" were able to purchase the Brazilian sea whore through PayPal. I thought "Brazilian Sea Whore" was such a rad name that we rechristened it with the name. Unfortunately, now there's a problem. We ran out of food and the situation makes Lord of the Flies look like a comedy. A portion of the crew has broken off into a Klingon language faction and is proposing mutiny. We've descended into cannibalism but we're not sure how to decide who dies first in a fair way for everybody. So my question is this: what do you think about using /. ID numbers in descending order as a valid way of choosing who gets cooked next? While some of the lower ID numbers are pretty fat and would last for weeks, it's probably not a good idea as they would make ideal emergency rations. Not like we don't have an emergency already...

Re:I'd go for something a little more fuel efficie (Score:3, Funny)

by blair1q ( 305137 ) writes: on Saturday May 31, 2003 @09:35PM (#6087499) Journal

852000 gallons/tankful
42 gallons/bbl
20000 bbl/tankful
$25/bbl

==> an even half-million bucks to fillerup.

Do you think we'll have time to run in for a donut and a lottery ticket?

Re:I'm in! (Score:2, Funny)

by znode ( 647753 ) writes: <znode@noSPAM.gmx.de> on Saturday May 31, 2003 @11:24PM (#6087880) Homepage

Now throw 15,000 of these guys in a boat and add some sea sickness and you've got a biohazard. Is that a weapon of mass destruction?

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Build your own aircraft carrier... (Score:5, Funny)

build or buy ? (Score:5, Funny)

Hmmm (Score:2, Funny)

Put that baby on eBay !!! (Score:5, Funny)

Bring idea! (Score:4, Funny)

reservations... (Score:2, Funny)

Perfect! (Score:5, Funny)

Yours for only... (Score:1, Funny)

Slow day? (Score:4, Funny)

Bass Boat (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Build your own aircraft carrier... (Score:2, Funny)

offtopic, i know... (Score:5, Funny)

It's already set up for soccer (Score:4, Funny)

I'm in! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:build or buy ? (Score:2, Funny)

Minas Gerais (Score:3, Funny)

Someone call Larry Ellison! (Score:5, Funny)

weapon of mass destruction (Score:5, Funny)

Status! (Score:3, Funny)

Apparently (Score:5, Funny)

Linux? (Score:5, Funny)

Cool, but... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:$4.5 million USD! (Score:5, Funny)

Diamond Age.... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Hell of a dance floor (Score:2, Funny)

Cheap at the price! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Linux? (Score:2, Funny)

Serious proposal... (Score:2, Funny)

Aircraft carrier HOWTOs (Score:5, Funny)

You think... (Score:5, Funny)

I'd go for something a little more fuel efficient (Score:5, Funny)

Brazilian navy still strong (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I'm in! (Score:5, Funny)

Bring good things to life (Score:5, Funny)

Re:L. Bob Rife. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:$4.5 million USD! (Score:4, Funny)

Re:offtopic, i know... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Perfect! (Score:3, Funny)

Let's get an aircraft carrier! (Score:5, Funny)

"What are we going to do today, Brain?" (Score:5, Funny)

Aricraft *Carrirr*, not flyer (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Perfect! (Score:3, Funny)

Now all I want to now... (Score:3, Funny)

Buy it for Canada! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Snowcrash (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Nice Price (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Diamond Age.... (Score:3, Funny)

$4,500,000, 6 million Slashdot users - chip in! (Score:5, Funny)

Not New York Harbor ... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:I'd go for something a little more fuel efficie (Score:3, Funny)

Can I take it for a test drive? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:$4,500,000, 6 million Slashdot users - chip in! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:I'm in! (Score:2, Funny)

Man, you find some crazy stuff on E-Bay. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Not New York Harbor ... (Score:2, Funny)

Then the /. headline... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I'd go for something a little more fuel efficie (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I'm in! (Score:2, Funny)

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Aricraft Carrirr, not flyer (Score:3, Funny)