U.S. Says Canada Cares Too Much About Liberties

A cheeky writer at Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper has written a story about the U.S. State Department's 2002 Patterns of Global Terrorism.

blame canada!

[paughsw]

Blame canada! It's their fault

wow

[Pompatus]

You mean I not only get to smoke pot, enjoy less crime, and get free healthcare, I get my civil liberties too!!!!

In the meantime at the White House

[borgdows]

Colin Powell : Mr President, Canada Cares Too Much about liberties.

Bush,Rumsfeld,Cheney (CHORUS) : Bomb them!! Bring canadians democracy!!

Re:Screw you, America

[Anonymous Coward]

Does Canada have any oil ressources?

Oh great.

[eidechse]

Now government agencies have even stopped pretending that the U.S. is the paragon of freedom.

In response...

[toriver]

... the leaders of China and Myanmar nodded vigorously in agreement that liberties are bad for you.

Chretien in a speech declared USA to be part of an "Axis of Oppression" and said "those that are not with the Commonwealth is with the oppressors".

Re:Screw you, America

[jilles]

No the us have long ago 'liberated' alaska.

Re:Tomorrow's headlines in the U.S.

[lovebyte]

Canada's weapons of mass destruction.

I agree. Canadians must answer their unleashing of Celine Dion on the free world.

Re:wow

[crodak]

I've heard it explained many times, that the reason why America is targeted by terrorists is that "certain elements" are simply jealous of our outstanding quality of life. They want to destroy what they can't build for themselves.

If you're right about Canada -- what, with all the pot smoking, low crime rates, free healthcare, and civil liberties -- I would expect Canada to rise to the top of the terrorists' hit list. So, maybe instead of trying to get the damned Canadians to cooperate with us, we should simply launch an advertising campaign in the Islamic world explaining that Canada is the more logical target for their anti-western fringe element.

Re:Their evaluation of France

[lovebyte]

I think Bush put it thus:
"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur."
-George W. Bush, discussing the decline of the French economy with British Prime Minister Tony Blair

Re:Screw you, America

[91degrees]

imagine how trivial invading across an undefended border would be....

I dunno... General Hull tried this in 1812, and got his ass whipped.

Re:Hysteria.

[Danse]

You just don't understand. Dubya just wants to take our rights and keep them in a safe place for us. That way the terrorists can't get them, don't ya see? All our rights are still there. We may even get to take our kids to see them someday. They'll be preserved in pristine condition in hermetically sealed jars. We should thank Dubya for taking such good care of our rights!

Canada should follow our lead!

[Gregg M]

It's called Diplomacy! [gwu.edu]

Re:Tomorrow's headlines in the U.S.

[borgdows]

Moreover, Celine Dion is from Quebec!! She's a secret weapon of the French to invade North America!!

Re:Screw you, America

[Anonymous Coward]

If I want to smoke pot in my own country, if that right has been 'allowed' by my own government ...

When questioned about America's response to legalizing marijuana in Canada, Canadian Prime Minster Jean Cretien remarked: "They just want our pot. BC pot is the shitznit."

Re:wow

[ArcticCelt]

Normally to one who have less civil liberties are the ones who retaliate, so please can you reinstate some right to the US citizens before they decide to attack Canada. ;)

Liberties

[Anonymous Coward]

Until the Bush administration goons shut down Slashdot for all the liberal anti-administration conversations going on here, I think you still have your liberties.

Re:Wait- we're the ones

[rtscts]

and I will

to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States

I think he's found a loophole...

propaganda

[VanillaCoke420]

The propaganda machines are up and running to prepare for another liberation. Tomorrows headlines: Canadian bacon is people!

Re:Let me get this straight

[holviala]

What are our [Canadian] national symbols? Beer and Hockey.

As a Finn, that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside... Beer..... Hockey.... More beer.....

:-)=

Re:canadian forces?

[I am Jack's username]

ObSatireWire: Canadian warship seizes tanker in... wait... Canada has a warship? [satirewire.com]

Re:Then Leave...

[El Cubano]

just my $.02 CAD (or $.0170 US)

Isn't that a bit optimistic for an exchange rate?

Canadian Graffiti

[gosand]

Canadians, on the other hand, just refuse to live like that. The first step Canadians do: be friendly to others. Respect the difference, accept other's value. No matter how inefficient or stupid Canadian governments sometimes are, Canadians still can live peacefully.

I swear, this is a true story, and still cracks me up today. My wife and I took our honeymoon through the Canadian Rockies (hiking, 2-day train ride, whale watching, etc). It was really awesome, and everyone was really nice. As the train pulled out of Vancouver, there was graffiti on the overpasses. Just your normal tags, people's names and whatnot. As we started to get to the edge of Vancouver, there was a big graffiti mural on one of the overpasses. What did it say?

"Welcome to Vancouver"

Even the damn graffiti is polite! I still can't believe it, and it cracks me up every time I think of it. I wish I would have gotten a picture of it.

Re:Screw you, America

[John Zebedee]

Thank you, Amber, what a delightful site. I'm looking forward to the movie, no doubt starring Leslie Neilsen.

Re:USA 2nd World?

[JohnnyCannuk]

Jim Dandy...

How's tourism anywhere in the US since the War?

Re:Screw you, America

[Mathness]

Me Hulk, me smash puny humans. Me bend boom sticks, makes Hulk angry.

What? Oh, General Hull.

*cough* I better move on then...

Re:Crime in Canada

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, because assault, homicide, and other violent crimes generally take place outside. And in Canada, it's too fucking cold to go outside 90% of the year.

Re:Point to clarify

[Anonymous Coward]

> So please stop with the "Blame Canada" rhetoric.

Can we at least blame Manitoba?

Re:blame canada!

[Noel]

Sadly, it almost makes a twisted sort of sense.

1. THEY hate US because of our FREEDOM
2. THEY attack US because THEY hate US
3. WE remove our FREEDOM
4. THEY stop hating US
5. ...
6. PROFIT!

Thats ok, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway

[Anonymous Coward]

I think this bumper sticker says it all: http://www.wellwhatthe.com [wellwhatthe.com]

Re:Franks and Karimov

[Citizen of Earth]

If the US wants to have any credibility whatsoever with the war-for-freedom rhetoric, they should at least stop supporting the worst dictators on the planet.

It should invade them instead.

Denmark's submarine - I thought it was brilliant

[Anonymous Coward]

I can understand the Dane's uneasiness over Denmark's support of the US invasion, but as a Canadian I must say that I thought sending a submarine to a desert war was a stroke of pure diplomatic genius. No fear of US reprisals for not 'supporting' their 'war on terrorism' and yet the actual support provided was essentially nil.

I am proud that Canada didn't support the invasion of Iraq, but part of me wishes we'd sent a few of our 50 year old SeaKing helicopters to 'help' the Americans so we don't have to worry about the economic fallout of not 'helping' the US invasion.

Personally I score 1 for the Danes.

(BTW, if Denmark sent ground troops as I read your post to suggest please excuse my ignorance, our news tends to focus on US, UK, and Australian troops)

Re:blame canada!

[Anonymous Coward]

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently
and for that, I am truly sorry. I am sorry we called George Bush a moron.
He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the
people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than
you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better
than your own.

I am sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, MUCH better than yours.

I am sorry that we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I
notice you've rebuilt it. It's Very Nice!

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but,
we Feel Your Pain.

I'm sorry about waffling on Iraq. I mean you're going up against a crazed
dictator, you wanna have friends by your side. I realize it took more than
two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was
different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is a thinly
veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've
seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.