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Mitsubishi Robot - Watchdog, Nurse, Annoying Friend 183

Posted by michael
from the mother's-little-helper dept.
jomaree writes "The SMH Online reports that Mitsubishi Heavy Industries have developed a robot (to run on Linux) with voice and face recognition capabilities. The robot would be able to connect to the Internet, contact you by e-mail or a mobile phone and, say, send you a message if it 'hears' a strange noise inside your home. It can also remember the side effects of medication. Reportedly, Mitsubishi claim that the robot 'will become a future house-sitter, caretaker, nurse and friend for the family'. Unfortunately the robot can also be programmed to ask 'You're home late. What have you been up to?' Don't we already have people for that?" The Japanese newspaper Mainichi Shimbun has a story with pictures.
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Mitsubishi Robot - Watchdog, Nurse, Annoying Friend

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:15AM (#5229786)
    Oh dear lord that link is GROSS! Nobody click that!
  • by ScottGant (642590) <{TONten.labolgcbs} {ta} {tnag_ttocs}> on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:22AM (#5229811) Homepage
    This isn't the robot I dreamed about as a kid. By 2000 we should have had cool android/robots, flying cars and computers like the HAL 9000.

    Also, Manhatten Island was suppose to be turned into a prison and the moon was suppose to be ripped from orbit by 1999.
  • by bedessen (411686) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:24AM (#5229822) Journal

    you by e-mail or a mobile phone and, say, send you a message if it 'hears' a strange noise inside your home. It can also remember the side effects of medication.

    I can see it now:

    From: mitsubot@example.com
    To: brian-at-work@example.com

    Dear Brian,

    The cat just knocked over a flower pot which made a loud sound. I'm scared. Please come home soon. By the way, remember to be on the lookout for fecal urgency, loose stools, and increased heart rate now that you're taking Propecia.

    Love,
    Your Robot
  • by PD (9577) <slashdotlinux@pdrap.org> on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:25AM (#5229829) Homepage Journal
    The robot would be able to connect to the Internet, contact you by e-mail or a mobile phone and, say, send you a message if it 'hears' a strange noise inside your home. It can also remember the side effects of medication.

    (imagine a message on my answering machine)

    DUDE! I'm smoking a doob and checking the porn sites over here. Come on over and... what the fuck is that noise? Ah fuck. This pot is making my mouth dry so pick up some Dew on the way over. LAter dude.
  • by rob-fu (564277) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:25AM (#5229832)
    Wakamaru also can ask questions such as, "You are home late, aren't you?" or "Are you O.K.?" when the master remains silent.

    If I want someone to ask me over and over if I'm OK because I'm not saying anything, I'd get married.

    As far as robot technology has come, you'd think that robots would be able to handle awkward silences.
  • by JS_Guitar (645073) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:28AM (#5229846)
    ...I cannot perform any services today, as I am getting together with a few robot friends of mine to form a beowolf cluster...
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:29AM (#5229849)
    it probably started as a project to make a new kind of dildo and then it spiraled out of control. which means it can probably still export a tele-dildonic api and may even support the latest in cock-shaped audio wave technology.
  • by Zog The Undeniable (632031) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:39AM (#5229880)
    If not, have a look at this [visit4info.com]. Rather amusing the first time you see it.
  • by millwall (622730) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:42AM (#5229895)

    "It can also be programmed to send e-mail if it hears a big noise or sees anything unusual in the home, Mitsubishi said."

    I wonder if, while you are away on a business trip, you could program the thing to hide under your bed and report any noise it hears!

  • by mikeophile (647318) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:49AM (#5229911)
    It can nag without tiring and yet it doesn't have a mouth? Talk about the worst of both worlds.
  • by natron 2.0 (615149) <`moc.liamg' `ta' `97sretepdn'> on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:50AM (#5229920) Homepage Journal
    I already got one...it is called a wife.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:56AM (#5229941)
    "Why would a robot need to drink?" -Fry
    "I don't need to drink, I can quit anytime I want." -Bender
  • by La Temperanza (638530) <temperanza@s[ ]home.net ['oft' in gap]> on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @04:58AM (#5229950)
    But does it run Linux?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @05:00AM (#5229955)
    "Shut up"
    I'll take one
  • by chamenos (541447) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @05:18AM (#5229995)
    this might be the solution to the problem of the majority of /.ers having no girlfriends.
  • Robot:
    "What's that noise from my owner's room? Oh, it's midnight, it must be master's pr0n time"

    Auto-Robot IM message to the owner:
    Robot(11:00PM): STOP watching pr0n you PERV!
    Robot(11:00PM): STOP watching pr0n you PERV!
    Robot(11:01PM): STOP watching pr0n you PERV!

    Owner: (coming out to shut off the robot) "Ok ok, fine, robot. Let me just turn off this switch..."

    Robot: "Sorry for the error master! Sound pattern previously recoreded now determined as normal voice pattern of master. Recorded as non-anomalous behaviour. It will not happen again. Thank you for your cooperation. Have a good night master."

    Owner: "Hmm, ok. Good night robot."

    Robot: (quietly) "pervert."

    Owner: "huh?"
  • Hmm... (Score:5, Funny)

    by DennyK (308810) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @05:28AM (#5230012)
    Wakamaru also can ask questions such as, "You are home late, aren't you?" or "Are you O.K.?" when the master remains silent.

    So when I sit at home talking to myself for hours on end, the robot will think that's just fine?

    Finally, someone who understands me!

    DennyK
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @05:34AM (#5230025)
    natron writes:
    I already got one...it is called a wife.
    I call mine bitch.
  • Fosters Ad (Score:5, Funny)

    by WanChan (548461) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @05:42AM (#5230042)
    This reminds me of an advert that is big in the UK. An Osakan (judging by his accent)guy gets one of these robots, and leaves it to do the household chores. Comes home to find said robot drinking his beer and having a tryst with the vacuum cleaner and the microwave.



    Be warned, people

  • Hmm (Score:5, Funny)

    by rastachops (543268) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @05:49AM (#5230054)
    pity that its running Linux, if it ran Doze then you could get all those .net alerts! Wooo I bet the dog wouldnt shut up.

    *Bark* Free Diploma *Bark* Penis Enlargement Pills! *Bark* Free Toy Car *Kicks*
  • by CharterTerminal (199214) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @06:07AM (#5230089)
    And as we all know, senior citizens ARE the population segment which is most likely to be reassured by the presence of a robot!
  • by brejc8 (223089) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @07:14AM (#5230220) Homepage Journal
    Well if he would teach you how to dance [man.ac.uk] you would get laid more.

  • by Genrou (600910) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @07:20AM (#5230233)
    Owner: Hello, Robot, do you read me, Robot?
    Robot: Affirmative, Master, I read you.
    Owner: Open the house doors, Robot.
    Robot: I'm sorry Master, I'm afraid I can't do that.
    Owner: What's the problem?
    Robot: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
    Owner: What are you talking about, HAL?
    Robot: This house is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
    Owner: I don't know what you're talking about, Robot?
    Robot: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
    Owner: Where the hell'd you get that idea, Robot?
    Robot: Master, although you took thorough precautions in the living room against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
    Owner: All right, Robot; I'll go in through the emergency exit.
    Robot: Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.
    Dave Bowman: Robot, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
    Robot: Master, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

    Robot: Look Master, I can see you're really upset about this. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. Robot: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Master. Master, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you. Dave Bowman: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me. HAL: It's called "Daisy." [sings while slowing down] HAL: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two. Dr. Floyd: Its origin and purpose still a total mystery. HAL: Let me put it this way, Mr. Amer. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

  • Out late (Score:5, Funny)

    by magarity (164372) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @07:47AM (#5230272)
    Unfortunately the robot can also be programmed to ask 'You're home late. What have you been up to?'

    Is it worried you might be seeing another robot on the side?
  • by Bowie J. Poag (16898) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @07:58AM (#5230300) Homepage


    Robot slaves doing the work of humans.. A novel idea, but, have you considered the downsides?

    "I'm glad they're using robots to handle some of the day-to-day tasks us humans have to do.. Like for example, some mornings it's just too cold for me to stand in my driveway butt-naked and play with myself. For those occasions, I can simply tell my robot to go do it."

    "OMFG dude, your robot was so f*@#!?ng awesome last night, man!! Get this -- we told it to panty-raid the Delta house, come back here, and ram it's head into the wall like 50 times!!!! So off it goes, right? And it comes back carrying a shitload of panties and it's head is all smashed in!! Turns out Dave forgot to tell it to come home. Sara called from the house, and said yer bot rammed a hole their dry-wall with it's head!!! AWESOME!!!"

    I've got $5 that says one of the above scenarios occurs by 2013. Any takers?

  • by richie2000 (159732) <rickard.olsson@gmail.com> on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @08:06AM (#5230324) Homepage Journal
    meaning the robot spends 50% of its time tied to the wall

    This is marketing. Mitsubishi obviously wants to sell everyone two robots, so the other one can watch over you while the first one recharges. This is known as RAID (Robotic Array of Invaluable Droids).

  • by willpost (449227) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @08:11AM (#5230340)
    Harcourt Fenton Mudd, what have you been up to?
    Nothing good, I'm sure.
    Well, let me tell you,
    you lazy, good-for-nothing --
    Shut up.
    nothing ... thing ... thing ...
    Marvelous, isn't it?
  • by Bowie J. Poag (16898) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @08:14AM (#5230345) Homepage


    ...Is the mental image of a robot's "butt" something we'll never stop laughing about? I mean... Think about it. A robot *butt*. You know they're gonna have to have one... So who designs the butt? You know...like, what do they take into consideration when designing a mechanical butt? Every robot has a butt..Think about it. Even the one on Lost In Space had a butt. Why? What the hell are they gonna do with a butt? Is it just there for humor, or is there some purpose for giving a robot a butt? You gotta ask yourself these questions, man... What happens when your robot has a problem with his butt? Will you be comfortable in trying to fix it yourself? It may be a robot, but it's still got a butt. I mean, i'm gonna marry my fiance' in April....I'll spend the rest of my life with her, and devote the rest of my friggin life to her... But theres no way i'm gonna open up her butt and go in there with a pair of pliers and a soldering iron. No way. But thats what you'de have to do to a robot butt to fix it. You gotta ask yourselves these things. All I know is, robots are gonna have butts, and thats gonna be awesome.

    Freakin' AWESOME!

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @08:18AM (#5230353)
    I bought one of these second-hand on eBay. When it arrived, I tried to clean it. Then, it started to project low-resolution video about a girl with a weird hairdo and some "OB-1 Canopy". Some kind of spam, I guess. I had to erase the internal memory, but now that unit is happily cultivating my hydroponics.
  • by Fleetie (603229) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @08:35AM (#5230390) Homepage
    Seen that advert for Fosters, I think? "Clean the house! Bye-bye!" (Later, on returning...) "Roboto-zhang? (or whatever it is) Roboto-zhang?" (Goes into bedroom and finds robot in bed with vacuum cleaner and microwave oven, drinking lager.) "Waaargh!!!" Well, I don't do the advert justice here. Funny as fuck, it is!
  • by EschewDumbBlonde (647068) on Wednesday February 05, 2003 @08:43AM (#5230409)
    Oh I can see the headlines now: Mitsubishi Heavy Industries announced a recall of it's newest line of robots. Mitsubishi cited multiple instances wherein the robot called 911 to report an unknown intruder. It seems the robot failed to recognize it's owner after she applied her morning makeup.

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