Mitsubishi Robot - Watchdog, Nurse, Annoying Friend 183
jomaree writes "The SMH Online reports that Mitsubishi Heavy Industries have developed a robot (to run on Linux) with voice and face recognition capabilities. The robot would be able to connect to the Internet, contact you by e-mail or a mobile phone and, say, send you a message if it 'hears' a strange noise inside your home. It can also remember the side effects of medication. Reportedly, Mitsubishi claim that the robot 'will become a future house-sitter, caretaker, nurse and friend for the family'. Unfortunately the robot can also be programmed to ask 'You're home late. What have you been up to?' Don't we already have people for that?" The Japanese newspaper Mainichi Shimbun has a story with pictures.
Re:I claim this first post... (Score:2, Funny)
Where's our flying cars? (Score:1, Funny)
Also, Manhatten Island was suppose to be turned into a prison and the moon was suppose to be ripped from orbit by 1999.
I can see it now.... (Score:5, Funny)
I can see it now:
From: mitsubot@example.com
To: brian-at-work@example.com
Dear Brian,
The cat just knocked over a flower pot which made a loud sound. I'm scared. Please come home soon. By the way, remember to be on the lookout for fecal urgency, loose stools, and increased heart rate now that you're taking Propecia.
Love,
Your Robot
I got a friend who can already do all this. (Score:5, Funny)
(imagine a message on my answering machine)
DUDE! I'm smoking a doob and checking the porn sites over here. Come on over and... what the fuck is that noise? Ah fuck. This pot is making my mouth dry so pick up some Dew on the way over. LAter dude.
Just what we need... (Score:5, Funny)
If I want someone to ask me over and over if I'm OK because I'm not saying anything, I'd get married.
As far as robot technology has come, you'd think that robots would be able to handle awkward silences.
I'm sorry, Master... (Score:5, Funny)
knowing the japanese (Score:4, Funny)
Do you have the Foster's lager advert in the USA? (Score:5, Funny)
Bed detective? (Score:3, Funny)
"It can also be programmed to send e-mail if it hears a big noise or sees anything unusual in the home, Mitsubishi said."
I wonder if, while you are away on a business trip, you could program the thing to hide under your bed and report any noise it hears!
Wait a minute. (Score:3, Funny)
I already got one... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I like the idea (Score:1, Funny)
"I don't need to drink, I can quit anytime I want." -Bender
Re:I already got one... (Score:2, Funny)
As long as it understands... (Score:3, Funny)
I'll take one
Re:contact, eh? (Score:2, Funny)
guys, watch out for the victorian morals model (Score:5, Funny)
"What's that noise from my owner's room? Oh, it's midnight, it must be master's pr0n time"
Auto-Robot IM message to the owner:
Robot(11:00PM): STOP watching pr0n you PERV!
Robot(11:00PM): STOP watching pr0n you PERV!
Robot(11:01PM): STOP watching pr0n you PERV!
Owner: (coming out to shut off the robot) "Ok ok, fine, robot. Let me just turn off this switch..."
Robot: "Sorry for the error master! Sound pattern previously recoreded now determined as normal voice pattern of master. Recorded as non-anomalous behaviour. It will not happen again. Thank you for your cooperation. Have a good night master."
Owner: "Hmm, ok. Good night robot."
Robot: (quietly) "pervert."
Owner: "huh?"
Hmm... (Score:5, Funny)
So when I sit at home talking to myself for hours on end, the robot will think that's just fine?
Finally, someone who understands me!
DennyK
Re:I already got one... (Score:1, Funny)
Fosters Ad (Score:5, Funny)
Be warned, people
Hmm (Score:5, Funny)
*Bark* Free Diploma *Bark* Penis Enlargement Pills! *Bark* Free Toy Car *Kicks*
Re:Read the Headline (Score:2, Funny)
Re:guys, watch out for the victorian morals model (Score:3, Funny)
Memorable Quotes (Score:2, Funny)
Robot: Affirmative, Master, I read you.
Owner: Open the house doors, Robot.
Robot: I'm sorry Master, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Owner: What's the problem?
Robot: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Owner: What are you talking about, HAL?
Robot: This house is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Owner: I don't know what you're talking about, Robot?
Robot: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Owner: Where the hell'd you get that idea, Robot?
Robot: Master, although you took thorough precautions in the living room against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
Owner: All right, Robot; I'll go in through the emergency exit.
Robot: Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.
Dave Bowman: Robot, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
Robot: Master, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
Robot: Look Master, I can see you're really upset about this. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. Robot: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Master. Master, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you. Dave Bowman: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me. HAL: It's called "Daisy." [sings while slowing down] HAL: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two. Dr. Floyd: Its origin and purpose still a total mystery. HAL: Let me put it this way, Mr. Amer. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
Out late (Score:5, Funny)
Is it worried you might be seeing another robot on the side?
An Interesting Idea.... (Score:3, Funny)
Robot slaves doing the work of humans.. A novel idea, but, have you considered the downsides?
"I'm glad they're using robots to handle some of the day-to-day tasks us humans have to do.. Like for example, some mornings it's just too cold for me to stand in my driveway butt-naked and play with myself. For those occasions, I can simply tell my robot to go do it."
"OMFG dude, your robot was so f*@#!?ng awesome last night, man!! Get this -- we told it to panty-raid the Delta house, come back here, and ram it's head into the wall like 50 times!!!! So off it goes, right? And it comes back carrying a shitload of panties and it's head is all smashed in!! Turns out Dave forgot to tell it to come home. Sara called from the house, and said yer bot rammed a hole their dry-wall with it's head!!! AWESOME!!!"
I've got $5 that says one of the above scenarios occurs by 2013. Any takers?
Re:2 hours uptime before recharge? (Score:3, Funny)
This is marketing. Mitsubishi obviously wants to sell everyone two robots, so the other one can watch over you while the first one recharges. This is known as RAID (Robotic Array of Invaluable Droids).
You're home late. What have you been up to? (Score:3, Funny)
Nothing good, I'm sure.
Well, let me tell you,
you lazy, good-for-nothing --
Shut up.
nothing
Marvelous, isn't it?
Is It Just Me, Or....? (Score:5, Funny)
...Is the mental image of a robot's "butt" something we'll never stop laughing about? I mean... Think about it. A robot *butt*. You know they're gonna have to have one... So who designs the butt? You know...like, what do they take into consideration when designing a mechanical butt? Every robot has a butt..Think about it. Even the one on Lost In Space had a butt. Why? What the hell are they gonna do with a butt? Is it just there for humor, or is there some purpose for giving a robot a butt? You gotta ask yourself these questions, man... What happens when your robot has a problem with his butt? Will you be comfortable in trying to fix it yourself? It may be a robot, but it's still got a butt. I mean, i'm gonna marry my fiance' in April....I'll spend the rest of my life with her, and devote the rest of my friggin life to her... But theres no way i'm gonna open up her butt and go in there with a pair of pliers and a soldering iron. No way. But thats what you'de have to do to a robot butt to fix it. You gotta ask yourselves these things. All I know is, robots are gonna have butts, and thats gonna be awesome.
Freakin' AWESOME!
These are not the droids you are looking for (Score:3, Funny)
Clean the house! (Score:2, Funny)
Recognize this.... (Score:2, Funny)