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Go Go Gadget Minisaw 486

Posted by michael
from the first-it-was-a-screwdriver dept.
weighn writes "The SMH has this story about an eccentric Frenchman who carries about 1300 useful items attached to his body by various means. A digital camera is mentioned, so I guess there may be some form of computing device nearby. Anyone else a bulging pocketed geek-scout?"
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Go Go Gadget Minisaw

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:55PM (#4656635)
    That one of those items ia a white flag?

    badda-bing!

    Thanks! I'll be here all night!
    • they said he had a spare set of cloths, if he wears white breif's he is good to go, dual use.
  • by MacOS_Rules (170853) on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:55PM (#4656637) Homepage
    Must be an embarrassment for the poor guy.

    "Is that a ruler in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

    "Actually, it IS a ruler."
  • No Picture!?!?! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Geeyzus (99967) <mark_madej@yahoo. c o m> on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:55PM (#4656639)
    The story is about a guy who basically has a bunch of tools attached to him, who calls himself "Crazy Eric" (go figure). The whole story is just about how crazy this guy looks, and there is NO PICTURE! What's up with that?

    Mark
    • Re:No Picture!?!?! (Score:2, Informative)

      by gr0ngb0t (410427)
      its the smh - they only put pictures in if it sports stars, kylie minogue or skimpyly (sp) clad models...
    • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:00AM (#4656678)
      Yeah, it's not like he didn't have a camera on him!
    • Although he sounds more like he is following in the footsteps of the "One Man Band Maniac" tradition, rather than the "MIT Media Lab Maniac" tradition, this guy sounds like he is miles ahead of most self-styled cyborgs (Mann, et al) in the integration of technology into his person. I would doubt this guy takes great pleasure with the efficiency with which he can perform various necessary tasks. And he no doubt wears it almost all the time.

      We all know the geeks with a tool belt from hell, but it only makes sense that it will move into the realm of tactical vests and load-bearing harnesses, or truly functional clothing that has been engineered with sensors, processors, power systems, etc. into it. Eric most likely doesn't have a real good digital rig going, but that's beside the point: it's functional integration. We shouldn't be biased against low-tech, in particular the need for powered systems should not be the criteria a definition of "cyborg".
  • by British (51765) <british1500@gmail.com> on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:56PM (#4656650) Homepage Journal
    Anyone remember Parker Lewis Can't Lose? His buddy wore a trenchcoat, and was already prepared. Each time he whipped out an item you heard the sound of separating velcro.

    This guy in the story should design suits for certain professions, with neatly designed inner pockets, outer pockets(like on the Ps1 game "P'Oed" featuring the chef with sidearm cooking utensil) and so forth and then sell them.

    I only wish I had more coat pockets and such, but my trendy Dockers will have to do. Carries everything but a handgun in the pockets.
    • by AndroidCat (229562) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @01:12AM (#4657042) Homepage
      but my trendy Dockers will have to do.

      I find that Dockers don't last too long. If I might recommend: Tilley Endurables [tilley.com] Their washing instructions are "Give 'em hell!", and they don't need ironing.

      I'm giving them a plug because I had a pair of pants that the zipper failed on after a few years. I figured what the hell, and took the pants back to get the zipper fixed. And they did it -- free of charge! (I guess they really do mean "Guaranteed for life".)

      The shorts have enough capacity to handle a six-pack. (To hell with all those gadgets!) And there's a secret pocket too. They cost a bit more, but will last waay longer than Dockers under geek washing conditions. Besides, they have this neat stone head outside their Toronto store, can't go wrong! The Big Head [tripod.ca]

    • by jcsehak (559709)
      The article says he does have a clothing line. But no plug? The guy even refused to give his last name. I guess he really isn't in America. Shit, over here, people'll plug their dog's new novel at the planning stage, when they're still thinking about teaching the animal how to type. If you're on a talk show (or many times, in a news article), it's beacause you have something to sell, not because you have something interesting to say.

      I have to admit, my first reaction to the story was "freak." My second was "clothing line? Where can I get some?"
  • No room (Score:3, Funny)

    by natron 2.0 (615149) <ndpeters79@g m a i l . c om> on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:57PM (#4656658) Homepage Journal
    I tried to fit my Microsoft EULA in my pocket but it was to heavy.

  • Oh shit... (Score:5, Funny)

    by whereiswaldo (459052) on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:58PM (#4656660) Journal

    I thought standing behind someone in the supermarket paying with cheques was bad... imagine being behind this guy in airport security!
  • by UpLateDrinkingCoffee (605179) on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:58PM (#4656661)
    I'd hate to be behind him at an airport security checkpoint.
  • Bulging. (Score:5, Funny)

    by DarkHelmet (120004) <<mark> <at> <seventhcycle.net>> on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:58PM (#4656662) Homepage
    Anyone else a bulging pocketed geek-scout?

    Pfft, frenchmen... I may be a geek, but I don't need any artificial means to be bulging.

  • by FearUncertaintyDoubt (578295) on Tuesday November 12, 2002 @11:58PM (#4656666)
    ...is a condom.
  • Uh... if you're doing XML while you clean yourself, don't drop the SOAP in the shower...

    How's this for something else amusing? [monster-hardware.com]

  • Dilbert... (Score:5, Funny)

    by batobin (10158) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:00AM (#4656682) Homepage
    Reminds me of the dilbert series where Dilbert has a gadget rivalry with one of his co-workkers. The two finally meet in a hallway and have a stand-off, western style. Both draw at the same but, but Dilbert's rival wins (rings all of Dilbert's gadgets) because his gadgets have speed dial.

    "Speed Dial. Fool."

    Can someone find that cartoon?
    • Re:Dilbert... (Score:3, Informative)

      by mhesseltine (541806)

      OK, the first of the comics setting up the meeting with Techno-Bill was 12/28/1992. The series runs through 12/31/1992 when Bill beats Dilbert. It's page 49 in "Dilbert Gives You the Business."

    • Re:Dilbert... (Score:3, Informative)

      by frozenray (308282)
      > Can someone find that cartoon?

      Here. [hackvan.com]

  • by Discopete (316823) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:01AM (#4656686) Homepage
    He makes mention of sleeping in some unusual places, but he never mentions a towel!
    • Why is everybody always so incredibly quick to point out lack of a sex life on a website entitled "News for Nerds"?

      Something about this reeks of overcompensation. Do you by chance drive a big car?
  • by djupedal (584558)
    ...do we get to moderate submissions? Given the last 24 hrs around here, it can't happen too soon.

    The pain...oh, the pain of a slow news day.
  • This guy gives a new meaning to the "Be Ready" motto the boyscouts have adopted.

    Too bad he "often ends up sleeping in odd places", thats kinda scary.
  • by c.emmertfoster (577356) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:02AM (#4656698) Homepage
    Here [cjselfdefense.com] is a police artist's sketch of the guy!
  • Penis.

    One wrong move with that mini-saw...
  • by UpLateDrinkingCoffee (605179) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:06AM (#4656718)
    Or Panoply? You'd never catch media in the U.S. using college words such as those :)
  • Oh the pain (Score:5, Funny)

    by cranos (592602) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:06AM (#4656721) Homepage Journal
    Okay here are all the bad jokes I could think of about this guy:

    1.Is that a t1 in your pocket or a you just glad to see me?

    2. Excuse me while I bend over I have a fax coming through

    3. Yes that is my phone, could you just unzip me please.

    4. Hi, Im a French Geek, damned twice over.

    5. Hmmmm where can I stick this directional Wireless antenae.

    6. I know, I'll try to attach every concievable geek device to my body. Then the girls are sure to notice me.

    7. G..u..r..l, what is this Girl?

    Thats all for now, im probably going to get modded down but hey, Im craving the nicotene right now so Im FINE.
  • by Nameis (556253) <NameisNuh.hotmail@com> on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:08AM (#4656735)
    I don't go anywhere without a Leatherman , a hanky, and duct tape. I'm always looking for new handy stuff to carry. At one time I also carried a face shield for CPR, a laser pointer, and a mini-torch. You can never have too many pockets!

    I hope this guy starts his own clothing line. Over 1300 items...ah, that'd get me chicks.

    • Quite right you can never have too many pockets. I purchased two demin vests from clearance racks because they were loaded down with pockets, and I use one of them during the summer when it's too warm to wear either the trenchcoat (with it's almost elbow-deep pockets) or the jean jacket (two chest pockets, two inside pockets, two outside pockets, always holding at least one item each).

      The vest came in really handy when I sprained my ankle and had to hobble around the house on crutches and yet still take care of the kids - in addition to the lefhanded Swiss Army knife / pill bottle / hankie / belt knife / pager I lugged around in or on my jeans, the vest came in handy for carrying a juice cup (covered), a bottle of milk, cordless phone, diapers, and a box of baby wipes (in the large pocket on the back), occasionally all at the same time.
    • by Master Mage (231315) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @01:56AM (#4657217)
      As an active student who's far to busy, I found that I tend to need an odd range of things constantly. After killing several blazers and doing a weekend shuffle to get everything out of my school uniform into normal clothing, I gave in and got a 3/4 length fishing vest.

      The thing is surprisingly comfortable, and it holds everything I need. If you were to catch me during the day, on hand I'll have:

      Handspring Visor
      Stowaway Keyboard for above
      Wallet
      Half dozen other assorted copy cards, ect.
      Pens, pencils, fountain pen...
      Keys
      Multi-tool (Leatherman Wave)
      Electrical Tape
      A spare roll of film or two
      Link cable for TI-83+
      Assorted blank paper, old paper and forms
      Spare AA batteries
      Maglight
      Pager

      One really nice thing about the 3/4 length is that it doesn't hinder movement or sitting like the full length vests do, and hides nicely under a blazer or fleece vest for less obtrusive ware.

      I would happily recommend the Simms Mesh Vest [simmsfishing.com] to anyone who wanted to keep stuff on hand. It's lasted me two years of consistant (12/7) usege with minimal wear and no problems. You should be able to find it at a local outdoors or fishing shop.

      Evan
  • A game? (Score:5, Funny)

    by CySurflex (564206) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:11AM (#4656739)
    Apparently plans to produce a First Person Shooter game based on this frenchman were cancelled after prelimenary versions had gamers sitting there for 2 hours pressing "[" to cycle through inventory items.
    • Re:A game? (Score:5, Funny)

      by sheetsda (230887) <doug DOT sheets AT gmail DOT com> on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:47AM (#4656943)
      Actually, this guy has proven possible half the first person shooters on the market today. "Lets check my inventory. Pistol, shotgun, rocket launcher, minigun, chainsaw, flamethrower, railgun, 6 ft claymore sword, M1A1 Abrams, deck mounted battleship cannon, small country, and 15 trillion rounds of ammunition for each... all of it fits conveniently into my armor/trench coat/pants pockets. MWHAHAHA."
  • by FearUncertaintyDoubt (578295) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:12AM (#4656749)
    It's still 200 items short of the number the average woman carries in her purse.
  • Possible Hoax (Score:4, Interesting)

    by kaosrain (543532) <root&kaosrain,com> on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:15AM (#4656769) Homepage
    This sounds a lot like a hoax to me...he refuses to give his last name, and it seems like a story based completely on how "crazy" he looks would at least include a picture. I could be wrong, but I suspect we've been had.
  • by Pig Hogger (10379) <pig.hoggerNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:18AM (#4656783) Journal
    I'd like to see him pass airport security just once.
  • by EnlightenmentFan (617608) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:18AM (#4656785) Homepage Journal
    Sidney Coleman (way cool physicist) had the biggest Swiss Army knife I ever saw. That thing must have weighed 15 kg by itself. He had carried it with him for years, and he told me...
    (dramatic drum roll)
    ..that he had actually had occasion to use all but one of its 99-googol blades in his bike-riding, rock-climbing, etc. activities.

    Not satisfied with this imperfect record, he sought out an expert to find out what he could do with that single unused blade. The expert replied, "Remove stones from horses' hooves."

    Hey, not every story has a happy ending.

    • Sharper Image used to carry a swiss army knife called the "Macgyver" that had over a hundred tools.

      They are replacing it with the "O'Neil" version. It is pretty much the same thing but includes an MP5.
      • I remember that!! I used to carry my McGuyver around at college. It's actually a bike tool made by a company called Topeak. I don't think it has over 100 tools... [whipping it out]
        lessee...

        8mm wrench, 9mm wrench, 10mm wrench, 15g, 14g, P#1 flathead, straight blade, saw, mini pliers, scissors, magnefying glass, ruler, scaler, bottle opener, miniflathead, can opener, 6 hex wrenches, nail file, tweezers, mini phillips, #2 phillips, fork, awl.... I think officially its only got 33 on there...

        There's probably a few I've missed, since this thing looks like a porcupine [topeak.com] with all the tools sticking out.
  • by sbaker (47485) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:19AM (#4656789) Homepage
    My father used to work for the airlines doing Radio and Radar repair. He carried a little kiddies pencil case containing a Swiss Army Knife and an expensive Fountain Pen. The case was labelled "747 Repair Kit" and he swore those were the only tools he ever used. He also remarked that he used the fountain pen more than the knife.

    My Swiss Army knife (a top-of-the-range one) includes a small ballpoint pen - so I don't need the fountain pen...but I have a tiny LED flashlight. That's the software guy's PC repair kit.

    Then of course there is my mother's handbag ...
  • pffft... useful? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by The_dev0 (520916)
    Everybody knows the towel is most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
  • I did some searching and apparently the Australian Broadcasting Company [abc.net.au] is also running the same story [abc.net.au]. Its not exactly the same, but there are direct quotes between the two.

    Does anyone know if SMH [smh.com.au] is a partner company? Same company?

    Does anyone know who had the story first?

    -- AcquaCow
    • Just a little Info

      the ABC is the Government funded but independantly run media organisation while the SMH is part of a fully privatised newspaper group called The Fairfax group [f2.com.au]

      So they are completely different organisations
    • The ABC is a government owned and publicly funded company, and SMH is owned by Fairfax. Considering that they're often at each other's throats over journalistic methods and political leanings, it's fairly safe to say that they're not affiliated in any way. :)

      The SMH article credits the AFP, which I can only assume stands for Associated French Press... so both papers have just gotten their story from the same news agency, explaining the common quotes. Happens all the time!
  • Un like most of the people ranting about how this man can't get laid and how uncool he is I think that his outfit sound rather cool. From what I understood his clothing is extreamly neat, due to the fact that is probaly has obsesive compulsive disorder. His tools are probably laid rather evenly over most parts of his body that wont be presed up aginst stuff as he goes about his day to day buisines.

    I also liked the idea that I got when I heard of the velcro leg pockets. I thought of removable pockets that velcroed on to witchever pants he was going to ware today. For them to work all you would have to do is sew soft velcro patches onto all your pants and then when you got home take of the pockets and that way you don't have to resort your pockets.

    If I was going to designe cooltool pants I would just take some strong comphy pants sew velcro on them(the soft fuzzy part), probably as larg patches on the thighs and calves. Then I would find some of that strong synthetic denim stuf that overalls are made of (probaly in black or posibly that realy spiffy blackand white hounds tooth patern), with this fabric I would make my pockets. They would have litle deviders in them so as to seperat all my diferent tools(you know mini renches from philips screw drivers). I might also alow for some sort of modular inter wireing so that I could just plug things into my pants for power and alow sound sent to by shirt where I could have a plug up by my neck for head phones.
  • Now, in which pocket did I put that "human-swiss-knife-organiser"??? :)))
  • by mboedick (543717) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:38AM (#4656899)

    ... is not to have a lot of tools, but to use the same tool for many different tasks, like those old 101 uses for a Zippo lighter ads.

  • I've been bested! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Engelbot (24601) <adam@@@tellumo...net> on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:41AM (#4656913) Homepage
    Or, to be more accurate, completely outclassed. I'm still in the game, however.

    Early on in college, I got diabetes [jdrf.org], which I ended up treating with an H-Tron Plus [disetronic-usa.com] insulin pump, from Disetronic. After trying a few different schemes for securing it to my person, I decided to park it on my belt.

    Shortly thereafter I switched to a different blood glucose meter [lifescan.com], which I discovered had a belt loop on its pouch. This made carrying it around much easier and more reliable. Sometime in here I found I needed my Leatherman [leatherman.com] more often than I happened to have it around. On the belt it goes.

    The Palm [palm.com] and its belt case came shortly thereafter, rounding out the utility belt. It's served me well, but I'm not a student any more, and it's starting to get a bit awkward. (Yes, I probably ought to have realized this sooner.)

    I'm hoping to consolidate, using a Visor [handspring.com] and a FreeStyle Tracker [therasense.com] for the meter (coolest device ever), but I'm also looking at a wireless telephone [verizonwireless.com] . . . maybe I should just give up and get a nice vest [tilley.com] instead. Hmm.

    Oh--yes, going through airport security is a royal pain.

  • by ngkabra (245586) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @12:41AM (#4656914) Homepage
    I am just waiting for somebody to use him for a case-mod...
  • Is this guy the elusive Secret Squirrel ?
  • Reminds me of Scott's eVest [scottevest.com]
  • I have about 1300 portable MP3 players. Each one of them has a feature that the other did not. My best advice -- rechargable batteries are your friends.
  • by mlknowle (175506)
    I was going to ask if he carried a condom, but then I realized that it said in the article that he only carried things that he would use... and most guys who walk around with 1,300 usefull tools... well, point taken
  • Wonder if his kit can service [sexfantasyzone.com]everything at once? Combined with a headsup display, never again would one have to dread waiting for a bus or other boring stationary activities. Might raise a few eye-brows at an airport though. At least he wouldn't have to worry too much about confiscation. Heh.
  • "Hrm, mabey all that hardware's for making coleslaw!"
  • by Cheese Cracker (615402) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @01:57AM (#4657221)
    ... and gets caught in an avalanche, his friends better tell the rescue team to bring a metal detector...
  • Well, I don't know about YOU, but I habitually carry around:
    • One Audiovox cell phone
    • One Palm m100
    • One iPod (5GB model)
    • One cheap pair of headphones
    • A few pencils and/or pens

    How about YOU?

  • a thought.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by MoceanWorker (232487) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @02:52AM (#4657400) Homepage
    From the article:

    "But if I don't need something, I don't bring it. I used to carry a pedometer, for example, but I've just taken it off. I never found I needed it."

    Well yeah, once you start wearing a 15 kg jacket, you sure as hell won't need one :-P
  • The six items I carry are more than enough.

    • 5" balisong/butterfly knife
    • digital camera
    • pen
    • condom
    • pistol
    • flashlight
  • by vik (17857) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @02:56AM (#4657416) Homepage Journal
    OK, I think I can match that. I'm currently carrying in my bum-bag/utility belt:

    Symbol SP17000 PalmOS PDA with laser barcode scanner, sunglasses, hair ties, cable ties, Leatherman wave, whistle, resusci-shield breathing mask, laser pointer, universal key, pen, surgical gloves, mini-blowtorch, lock-knife, magnifier/torch, cellphone, pager, 10m parachute cord, tape measure, various medications (figures, huh?), syringe, insulating tape, lockpicks, paperclips, magnesium flint block, mini-leatherman, wire probes, pins, needles, safety pins, wire saw, compass, fishing tackle, betalight, antiseptic, plasters, steristrips, pencil, waterproof matches, salt, snow-marker, comb, rescue shears, 2 marlin spikes, antiseptic wipes, wire saw, binder, Pez, cash and a major credit card.

    This is all held on with a single quick-release clasp in case I fall in deep water!

    By way of explaination I'm a volunteer First Responder occasionally known to the brigade as "Gadget".

    Vik :v)
  • Something similar (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Snafoo (38566) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @03:28AM (#4657512) Homepage
    I have a friend who, many years ago, owned a trenchcoat with (a) a well-sewn liner and (b) missing or ruined pockets. Thus she'd typically fill her coat with: All the day's required textbooks and coursepacks, a dozen paperbacks, lunch, notepad, pens, a stapler, a flask, a math set, chemistry goggles, kleenex, and (IIRC) half a dozen moist towelettes. The thing is, most of the above are relatively flat, and so if stacked carefully added absolutely nothing to the coat's outline. Your first clue would be Jen reaching into her pocket and pulling out item after large absurd item...
  • by White Shadow (178120) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @03:42AM (#4657548) Homepage
    I carry the following:

    Palm IIIc [palm.com]: Front left pants pocket

    Dell X200 Laptop [dell.com]: Ultra-portable laptop (12")-- I carry this in a RoadWired messenger bag [ebags.com] which I take almost everywhere.

    Canon S110 [powershot.com] digital camera (digital elph): It's in a small pouch attached to the shoulder strap of my laptop bag

    Nokia 3360 [nokia.com] cellphone: I don't carry this as often, since I don't like cellphones, but if I'm carrying it, it's in the interior jacket pocket.

    Panasonic CD player: I have a little cd carrying bag that I sometimes lug around with me if it's a long walk to where I'm going.


    Yeah, I like my toys to be small.

    Well, my big problem with newer gadgets is that people seem to care more about extra features rather than making them smaller. I have no interest in a PDA that can play MP3s or has 64MB of memory. On the other hand, if you can shrink one down to just the size of the screen (plus a small border) and make them half an inch thick, I'd buy it in a heartbeat. Also, make more small phones without movable parts. I don't want to waste my time pulling out an antenna or flipping open my phone. And stop putting features in my phone! I don't need an MP3 player in my phone.

    I want small specialized products.
  • Practical? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by JimR (101182) on Wednesday November 13, 2002 @06:40AM (#4657884) Homepage

    My favourite quote from the article:

    ...the Guinness book of records, which in its last edition grants Eric a slot as owner of the world's "most practical suit of clothing".


    Eric's outfits weigh 15kg...

    Hmmm... this must be some new meaning of the word "practical" that I was hitherto unaware of.

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