Oracle Breakable After All 878
Billy writes "Unless you've been living in a cave, you've seen Oracle's Unbreakable campaign (Can't break it. Can't break in.), which was kicked-off by Larry Ellison personally at Comdex last November. Now U.K. security researcher David Litchfield says you can break in, thanks to at least seven different security holes in Oracle 9i, according to this SecurityFocus story. Oracle's top security manager is quoted as saying that "unbreakable" doesn't really mean unbreakable, or something."
I haven't seen it! (Score:2, Funny)
I guess I've been living in a cave.
Reverse Psychology (Score:3, Funny)
MS could just announce that "Our software code is like swiss cheese when it comes to security" and #POOF#, all the holes would be sealed for good.
Same as with the Titanic... (Score:2, Funny)
My favorite quote: (Score:1, Funny)
everything depends on what your definition of "unbreakable" is.
It may also depend on what your definition of "IS" is.
Re:Security Myth (Score:2, Funny)
Announce your softaware is unbreakable
Slashdot New Flash... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:You mean to tell me... (Score:2, Funny)
White Star Line [prodigy.com]
Does seem to be tempting fate to say "unbreakable", doesn't it>
And this comes from... (Score:5, Funny)
That leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy inside.
That's odd.... (Score:3, Funny)
"The Oracle database server itself runs on some sixty odd different operating systems,"
How many non-odd operating systems does it run on??
Re:A Definition (Score:1, Funny)
buffer overflows and interception attacks.
If a cup overflows, it doesn't necessarily break.
If a football is intercepted, it doesn't necessarily break.
The above is a public service announcement from the Clinton Language Interpretation Council.
Weinberg's law of programming; (Score:3, Funny)
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
(this is twenty years old)
Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)
First Titanic, now this! (Score:5, Funny)
Comments by the CEO: -Well, you can take it both ways, really, we are defining what Unsinkable really means! The other ship building companies in our field are looking up to us to be half as unsinkable as we are. It's great, really, how our compain brings the best out of this situation.
"We believe the market effect of the 'Unsinkable' campaign raises the unsinkability bar and therefore improves unsinkability overall, both in forcing us to live up to the statement, and forcing others in the industry to begin to do the same," wrote Bruce Ismay. "If our unsinkability today is imperfect but better than the competition, and if customers make a buying decision based on that criteria, than in the long term you will see all products in the market improve."
Titanic Oracle (Score:2, Funny)
Thrill as the largest man-made ego in the world shows it too can make a mistake! Gasp as the master engineer makes a crucial error that sinks the RMS Unbreakable! Cry as the star-crossed developers try to escape the sinking PR disaster! Bemoan the lack of escape boats for the VPs who will pay for Ellison's boast!
I swear, can't tell who we need to get first, Gates or Ellison. Neither one is good for computing.
Re:Do you want to finger me? (Score:0, Funny)
Unbreakable doesn't really mean unbreakable... (Score:1, Funny)
Just like how you might define "sexual relations" huh?
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman" (it was the cigar that did!!!) I just keep wondering if he smoked the cigar afterwards?
Re:Is the gov't still going to use it (Score:3, Funny)
Just imagine :
select * from downloaded_porn_table where porn_search_string like '%Natalie Portman scared and petrified%'
slogans slogans slogans (Score:5, Funny)
Admittedly, but COME ON Dave, it's just not CATCHY. Slogans are often misleading or linguistically incorrect. Here is a list of "catchy slogans" that are either also false, irrelevant, or just silly enough just to point out.
Slogan [Product/Firm]
Re:Weinberg's law of programming; (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Nobody bothered to read the challenge... (Score:4, Funny)
Yea, we understand what these marketing slogans mean. Unfortunately, nobody has lived up to one yet.
Larry Ellison is The Rock (Score:5, Funny)
Larry looks more than a little like The Rock in this photo [oracle.com]. Ever notice how you never see both The Rock and Ellison together at the same time? Hmmm? Coincidence? Perhaps not.
Re:Weinberg's law of programming; (Score:5, Funny)
Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.
My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of thses options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has.
I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
Re:crazy fucking ceos (Score:5, Funny)
Re:First Titanic, now this! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The first Slashdot troll post investigation (Score:0, Funny)
Too true (Score:5, Funny)
"Hello, helpdesk? I need to edit the Oracle config files, and I forgot the Oracle user's unix password."
"Hello, helpdesk? Brad Pitt's a friend of mine and will go out with you if you give me the root password for the Oracle box."
Re:slogans slogans slogans (Score:5, Funny)
- "The real thing" [Coca-Cola] - if you conclude that thing is meant to be a reference to Coca-Cola, then "The real thing" is a reference to the version of Coca-Cola that they sell, as opposed to the imaginary version that the product development team is currently working on.
- "You'll love the way we fly" [Delta] - you will, at some point in the future, love the way we fly. That point in time, however, is unlikely to be now or anywhere near your flight date.
- "Quality is job 1" [Ford] - Everything else is job 0...every computer person should know that one is hardly a logical starting place.
- "We try harder" [Avis] -
- "Just slightly ahead of our time" [Panasonic] - All of our offices are located just west of the beginning of the timezones. So, while it's technically 10:00am, are time appears closer to 10:02. We didn't say we were way ahead of our time, just slightly.
Not "unbreakable", but "is unbreakable" (Score:4, Funny)
Oracle said that 9i "is unbreakable". As President Clinton could easily tell you [pitt.edu], the key word here is 'is'.
Re:Weinberg's law of programming; (Score:2, Funny)
Surely you're describing Hurd?
Re:Whoops! (Score:2, Funny)
Can't even land his airplane on time. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Nobody bothered to read the challenge... (Score:2, Funny)
Oh go on, upload your brain into your dual-Pentium 4 server then provoke it into blue-screening. Dare ya!
Re:That's odd.... (Score:3, Funny)
Have you turned on a computer lately? We've got desk lamp appearing things that have buttons that look like they should be licked instead of clicked. We've got most beige boxes being upgraded to Fisher Price's My First GUI. We've got most of the remainder running a GUI which answers "how many widget sets can you fit into a phone booth". And we've got operating systems designed by the occasional upstart company who thinks they can suddenly "break in" to a saturated market dominated by network effects and owned by organizations who all agree that giving your product away for free is at least better than letting the competition make money.
There are no non-odd operating systems.
Hmm, well.... (Score:5, Funny)
(Score:0, Funny)
Slashcode Breakable? that's a given.
Re:The first Slashdot troll post investigation (Score:1, Funny)
It was a good idea. The problem was the application - Stallmanism ruined the OpenSores image, in my mind. I will never recommend a linux solution where a "Established" solution could take its place. Partially because of technical reasons ; but mostly because i wouldn't want to risk having someone adminning them who's too busy keeping their thumb up their arse to care about the company.
Slashdot is flawed, fundimentally. Unfortunately, its kind of fun. Screaming 14 year olds, as is said, having pissing contests over l33tness when they wouldnt know the difference between ATDT and ATH0, or SysV and BSD if it got up and shoved a clue by four up their output port. Hey, its better than sitting at work staring at the birds frying in the satellite transmitters on a slow day!
Re:It's a law of narrative fiction. (Score:2, Funny)
Douglas Adams already did it. (At least he put a couple of paragraphs about it in one of the Hitchhiker books (to do with windows that won't open because the air-conditioning does a better job and can't possibly fail)).