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Oracle Donates Software for Big Brother Database 215

Posted by michael
from the replication-is-most-popular-feature dept.
8onal writes: "C|Net is reporting that Oracle CEO Larry Ellison has followed through with his threat, I mean promise, to assist with Uncle Sam's crimefighting efforts. "...Ellison said he has delivered Oracle's 9i database management software to a U.S. government agency for national security, but he declined to give further details, such as which agency or for what usage." Seeing as how he has already supplied the CIA with software, I bet it went to another 3-letter group."
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Oracle Donates Software for Big Brother Database

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  • Standards (Score:4, Funny)

    by Iamthefallen (523816) <Gmail name: Iamthefallen> on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @08:58AM (#2659087) Homepage Journal


    Ein folk, Ein reich, Ein RDBMS?

    What? The form you must fill as you enter the US asking if you're a terrorist, nazi or have participated in any genocides recently isn't enough?

  • by IainMH (176964) on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @09:04AM (#2659101)
    Seeing as how he has already supplied the CIA with software, I bet it went to another 3-letter group

    Not AOL?!! They are the people we fear the most!
  • by Xpilot (117961) on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @09:07AM (#2659110) Homepage
    The M.I.B.?

    Nah, they use alien technology.

    The I.B.M.?

    Nah, they develop alien technology :)
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @09:18AM (#2659139)
    Or even shock horror MFI [mfi.co.uk].
  • by Pig Hogger (10379) <pig.hogger@NoSpAM.gmail.com> on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @09:25AM (#2659162) Journal
    Seeing as how he has already supplied the CIA with software, I bet it went to another 3-letter group.
    ...Where everyone looking at it is having fits of laughter having a look at the "security" features...
  • by jeff13 (255285) on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @09:57AM (#2659264) Homepage
    Ha ha ha ha ha !!!

    I am Big Brother! Your profiles are mine! Your social numbers! Credit card! Who you voted for! All your international Echelon flagged phone calls! And your mother!

    Thanx Larry. :)
    00XX
  • by blonde rser (253047) on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @10:13AM (#2659322) Homepage
    I wake up and still in a haze I check /. to find a headline containing "Oracle" "Donates" and "Big Brother." So I assume that Oracle is donating software to help children's charities... only to be brought back into the cynical reality when I read the article and realize the Orwelian reference. Too bad
  • by dcocos (128532) on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @10:25AM (#2659381)
    I'd be willing to bet that anyone will be able to login with SCOTT/TIGER and SYSTEM/MANAGER so it won't be too hard to figure out what data they are collecting.
  • by gazz (101967) <gaz.schmoo@me@uk> on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @11:07AM (#2659567) Homepage
    it's probably a joke, but M$ will cash in if ppl listen to this [modernhumorist.com]:

    Subject: Fwd: Please participate - satellite project

    Help me spread the word about this advisory from NASA. On Thursday night at 9 PM Eastern time, a satellite photo of the United States will be taken, showing our nation united.

    If you own a PC-compatible laptop, NASA has requested that you purchase Microsoft's new Windows XP operating system and install it onto your computer. The process is simple and should take about an hour. It's Microsoft's best operating system ever and lets you get more out of the Internet!

    Take the laptop outside at 9 PM, start up Windows XP, and hold the "Start" screen up to the sky to symbolize our new "start" at coming together and fighting terrorism. Visit microsoft.com for more on how you can eXPerience more!


    Pssshhh, is all I can say (thanks to a speech impediment I developed after teasing some rather aggressive Gerbils)
  • by Tackhead (54550) on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @12:08PM (#2659869)
    > Ein folk, Ein reich, Ein RDBMS?
    >
    > What? The form you must fill as you enter the US asking if you're a terrorist, nazi or have participated in any genocides recently isn't enough?

    Nope. It'll have a new line: "Are you now, or have you at any time in the past, administered a Sybase server?"

  • by Tackhead (54550) on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @12:20PM (#2659943)
    > The I.R.S!!!

    As long as we're guessing, how about the INS? Lord knows those fucksticks could certainly use the help.

    And it'd be consistent with Ellison "[declining] to give further details, such as which agency or for what usage".

    At the INS, I'd bet the usage would be "Put it in the mailroom for six months. Have an agent take it from the mailroom and put it on the shelf sometime in spring of 2002. Have another agent wipe the dust off the box in 2004. Take the box off the shelf and try to install it on a 4.77 MHz PC/XT in 2007. (Side project: Install a CD-ROM for the PC/XT. Should be done by 2011.) When the installation program reports "not enough RAM" sometime in 2018, write a glowing report to Congress about the wonders of the ongoing INS modernization programme, and how, Real Soon Now, INS will finally be able to stop Bad Guys and illegal aliens from getting into (and staying in) our country, if it weren't for all those goddamn legal aliens we're still spending all our time trying to get rid of through interminably long delays in their paperwork."

    Slashdotters can moderate this as (+1, Funny). INS employees will probably moderate it as (+1, Informative).

  • by Lobsang (255003) on Wednesday December 05, 2001 @08:20PM (#2662703) Homepage
    If big brother depends on Oracle to retrieve and consolidate your data, rest assured your privacy is safe...

    :)

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