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Sun Microsystems

McNealy Calls for National ID Card Too 615

Posted by michael
from the sun-monitors-actually-telescreens dept.
Syre writes: "Well McNealy's at it again calling for a national ID card (a smart card powered by Java, anyone?)." So let's get this straight: Oracle wants a national ID card powered by Oracle. Sun wants a national ID card powered by Java. (Even though the U.S. already has a national ID card, since the states are in the process of linking their driver's license databases together.) Is there any company that doesn't want to exploit a tragedy for financial gain? And didn't each and every one of the hijackers present valid ID?
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McNealy Calls for National ID Card Too

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 11, 2001 @08:12PM (#2417793)
    The Oracle ID card would have an initial cost of $100,000 and require a fulltime DBA to administer.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 11, 2001 @08:13PM (#2417798)
    A long time ago, this man was respectable.

    Dude, you must be way older than me, because I can't remember a time when McNealy was ever respectable.

    Mockable? Loud-mouthed? Two-faced? Yes.Yes.Yes.
  • by jiheison (468171) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @08:16PM (#2417816) Homepage
    No, no, NO!

    This time, it's gonna work. You just watch and see!

    Oh, and by the way. . .how DARE you criticize our government during this time of crisis and national unity behind our leaders?
  • by Ghoser777 (113623) <fahrenba@@@mac...com> on Thursday October 11, 2001 @08:27PM (#2417879) Homepage
    If you build a house, I want to know who you are. Otherwise you might be able to combine different household chemicals to create chemical weapons that could wipe out the world.

    If you have privacy, I want to know who you are. Anytime the government does not have complete control over what you are doing is a security risk. We cannot not let petty issues like "freedom" stand in the way of protecting American ideals.

    F-bacher
  • by sharkey (16670) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @08:35PM (#2417915)
    The Oracle ID card would have an initial cost of $100,000 and require a fulltime DBA to administer.

    It would also require 2387 separate patches upon receipt of the card, BEFORE it is placed in your wallet to keep it from spontaneously collapsing in upon itself on first use.

    Also, that $100,000 is per pocket in your wallet: 2 bill pockets and 8 card pockets such as my wallet has would cost $1,000,000 up front.
  • by BroadbandBradley (237267) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @08:40PM (#2417933) Homepage
    so I could host my homepage on the card.
    Why should they get to decide what goes on MY id card?....I could see it now, at the checkout line sliding my card through the reader,
    and the checkout clerk says
    "hey did you do those animations yourself? that's really cool!"

  • by BrookHarty (9119) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @08:45PM (#2417947) Homepage Journal
    My local Taco Bell doesnt take credit cards.

    National ID Card? They dont take checks either.

    Aha, We can starve the terrorists!
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 11, 2001 @09:01PM (#2418014)
    "Oracle planed to donate database software for the purpose of creating the global ID."

    Shit. Ellison is the Beast?

  • Sheesh... (Score:3, Funny)

    by neema (170845) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @09:40PM (#2418102) Homepage
    These terrible people, taking advantage of such tragedies...

    In completely unrelated break through, I will be selling white t-shirts with "Check out this shirt, I'm a real American!" written on it with black magic marker. Only 29.95.

    Orders to come in anytime now.
  • by 0xA (71424) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @09:46PM (#2418123)
    No wait, hear me out. I want a national barcode ID system. Simple enough to do, just like the one one Dark Angel.

    He's the catch, I want it tattooed right in the crack of my ass. I belive that this would be great. Think about it:

    Authority Abusing Cop: "I need to see your ID tatoo son"

    Me: Gulps down last spoon of Super Ass Ripper Chilli, "Alright, but you're going to have to get nice and close, there's not much light in here officer"

    Best idea I've had all week.

  • by Tarkwyn (130064) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @09:58PM (#2418156)
    I've got my religion [slashdot.org]. You don't need to see my identification.
  • Re:TCL (Score:2, Funny)

    by Mad Marlin (96929) <cgore@cgore.com> on Thursday October 11, 2001 @10:18PM (#2418209) Homepage
    how about a card using TCL :)

    If I remember correctly, the official way to pronounce Tcl was ``tickle'', so then everybody in the USA would have a tickle ID, a license to tickle! I like it, a new reason to bring your ID to bars!

  • by J4 (449) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @10:35PM (#2418251) Homepage
    Sign me up, but I want full medical/dental coverage and guaranteed employment in whatever field I'm competant in, with an option for self employment.

  • by witort (92504) on Thursday October 11, 2001 @11:22PM (#2418347)
    What info do these "authorities" want?

    If you're reading this, then your Slashdot ID [slashdot.org] and your geek code [geekcode.com] will probably be enough for them...

  • by ackthpt (218170) on Friday October 12, 2001 @12:03AM (#2418508) Homepage Journal
    See, your reaction is probably a little more strong than the average would be, but that's also likely to be because of who's suggesting. Follow the way Joe or Jolene Streetperson would respond to the following:

    Government suggests National ID card, complete with DNA: "No, not a chance, keep away from me Big Brother!"

    Ellison suggests National ID card, tracked in an national Oracle DB: "No! What are you, son kind of nut? This isn't Japan, buddy!"

    McNealy suggests National ID card, powered by Java: "No! Now go away and stop trying to oppress me!"

    However...

    Microsoft suggests a National ID card, powered by WindowsID: "Gee, you really think that's a good idea, huh? Well, OK, if the world's richest man says it's really for our own good, I'll go along."

    Then, from across the ocean, the people of France hear a loud, collective "Moo"

  • A Poem (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 12, 2001 @01:11AM (#2418642)
    The mark of the beast is a primary key
    a poem by Drew [mailto]

    --///--

    Ellison's motives come from below.
    Look in his eyes. What do they show?
    You may think that smile is for the stockholders,
    but his home is Hades, where all evil smoulders.

    His Chief DBA is the Dark Prince of Lies,
    His unholy power is version 9i [oracle.com].
    You thought that this baby ate up RAM before?
    For version 9i, you'll buy six times more! [crucial.com]

    What violence will come of these columns and rows?
    SQL*plus is the reaper of souls!
    To commit is sure folly; to roll-back, calamity.
    A cartesian join will doom all of humanity!

    Constraints are forged of titanium chains,
    and triggers are hardwired into your brain.
    A single long int marks your identity --
    The mark of the beast is a primary key.

    The language of Satan? PL/SQL --
    How else would he store his procedures in Hell?
    You'll live in dread fear of the keyword DELETE.
    The mark of the beast is a primary key.

    Oracle 9i is a harbinger of Dark!
    (But I cannot say more; nor publish benchmarks.)
    But you value your soul, so my words you will heed:
    The mark of the beast is a primary key.

    --///--

    Thank you.

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