Drug Testing For Olympic Chess Players?

Lawrence Person writes: "According to this AP wire story, they're thinking of adding chess as an Olympic sport. The downside? Mandatory drug testing. 'He's using steroids to move that pawn!'"

Re:Blade Runner?

[pdiaz]

[Mr Roy] I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
[Mr Kasparov]Judge!. I think that my oponent has been using drugs again

Ok, that was a bad joke, but I couldn't resist

Re:Chess - A stupid game for stupid people.

[BilldaCat]

I'd say that if you have hung out with a chess team, Linux User Groups, D&D players, and by god, Magic The Gathering players, you have no right to be calling someone else poorly socialized.

M.Blue,our Energy police says you switched to 220V

[da5idnetlimit.com]

Well, yes, I had this spare disk to restart and didn't want to take too much power from the main supply...

Olympic Squad : What the Hell ! A spare disk !

Blue : Well, yes, whats wrong with that ?

Olympic Squad : Please follow us, M. Blue.
We will also have to check your steppings. Using a higher voltage and starting this spare HDD motor as a fan Facility let us think you might have Overclocked during the competition

Blue : No, It's Wrong ! I never did this. Anyhow, you have no right to discompile my log file. DMCA is still here to protect us ! And I just had the file pass through Rot-13 ! You Can't beat me without trepassing your Law ! You can't Decrypt without my aothirisation !!!

Blue Squad : Under bill 1-2007 (Bill Gates against The World / USA) I have to read yor rights !

You have the right to stable power supply ! Everything you write can be used to prosecute you. You cannot defrag during your detention time. Any use of non licensed source within your code can put you up to 5 years in Prime Number Calculus Detention Center

Blue : Noooooooo !!!! I won't support this !!!
I will BSOD if you come closer to the plug ! I warn you ! It will make a messy memory Dump in the news !!!

Olympic Squad : Stop him ! I have a QNX floppy here with me. You won't suffer, I promise !!!

To be followed

011 100 000 011

In other news.....

[rppp01]

In other Olympic news, it was found that 2 time defending quake champion CowboyNeal was found to have 10 times the allowed dosage of caffiene in his system.

His gold medal status is pending until further review.

Where in the???

[crackerjack911]

I just wonder how long till they decide to let big blue play. Only problem would be figuring out how to get a urine sample from a super computer.

Are humans the only competitors?

[compwiz3688]

'He's using steroids to move that pawn!'
Nooo.... They're overclocking Deep Blue!

Afro Man Plays Chess

[nege]

I was gonna play some chess, but then I got high, I was gonna play with the olympic best, but then i got high now i'm just sittin here I must confess, and I know why-- hey hey because I got high, because I got high, because I got high....

Damnit.

[SirSlud]

Damn. Drugs are about the only thing that makes chess interesting.

Re:Can anyone thking of any drugs

[Zenjive]

Imagine a chess match in which the players drop some LSD or eat some magic shrooms...

The players would get into a philosophical discussion on the underlying meanings of the game or they might feel sorry for the pawns since they always get the shaft.

This is a scam!!

[Jucius Maximus]

I can see it now... this is a carefully premeditated plot to create a world class chess competition where computers could never play!

Why? Because Big Blue would always fail the drug tests due to extravagant arsenic and lead counts! This is discrimination!! IBM should sue!!!

Re:Where in the???

[empesey]

Guess they'll have to get their sample from it's core dump.

Re:Won't Happen

[GungaDan]

"a sport that is in danger of being cut because we aren't 'TV Friendly'."

Solution? Skin fencing!

Re:Performance drugs for chess? Sure...

[Placido]

I wonder what it would be like playing chess stoned. You'd probably make amazing insights into the other players strategy (they're basing their attack from Darth Vader's plan in The Empire Strikes Back!)... all wrong of course.

Alternatively we could numb the grand masters brain cells with alcohol [firebox.com]. http://www.firebox.com/product.php?id=115

Re:Can anyone thking of any drugs

[LinusFrost]

I feel, the short duration of cocaine would reduce it's suitability for chess players. The officials might get annoyed at the players cutting up lines on the table between moves...

normalize the quasi-sports

[trix_e]

In an effort to save everyone's time, I propose that all of the quasi-sports that have slowly wormed their way into the olympics be combined into one event. We'll call it Splunge. The rules are as follows (sort of...):

Contestants compete in a giant chess board shaped pool, each team representing the appropriate chess piece (pawns, knights, queens etc.). Teams alternate turns with their rhythmic gymnastic ribbons fluttering non-stop as they try to get the ball in the other team's net with table tennis paddles. Equestrian referees with badminton raquets shall penalize players who foot fault or allow the ball hit the sand. The match shall be declared upon completion of a flawless SDE (Synchronized Drowning Event) by either team.

Anyone with me? I say we petetion the IOC for recognition of this event...

an olympic sport??

[JEDi_ERiAN]

no way! chess as an olympic sport? guess the geeks have to get in somehow. I'm still awaiting freestyle walking, dwarf tossing and log rolling to become olympic sports.

E.

Woah...

[yatest5]

I can see the TV audiences for the 'mental olympics' being HUGE!

(I can't help it)

[Roblimo]

I'll put my money on the U.S. "crack team" any day of the week. We're #1!!!

- Robin

PS - how would they handle drug testing for the crack team? :)

Blade Runner?

[noz]

Will they allow replicants like Roy Batty (Rutger Hauer) to compete? He did help J.F. Sebastian beat Mr Tyrell.

Re:Dangerous...

[Bobo the Space Chimp]

> The Olympics are about physical sports.

It's about physical activity. The Biathlon derives from military activities (as do any shooting activities. Is Archery in there?) The Marathon run might, too, as might horse events. Don't know the origin of the steeple chase nor the triple jump.

Anyway, the more cereberal among us should applaud the addition of brain games in a world where mere physical skill pointlessly is held up over mental abilities.

And speaking of military, let's not forget the brutal, bloody carnage that is the real-world counterpart to synchronized swimming.