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I'd rather be spied on by ...

Displaying poll results.
  1333 votes / 8%
FSB (Russia)
  579 votes / 3%
  631 votes / 3%
The Intelligence Directorate (Cuba)
  1580 votes / 9%
Ministry of State Security (China)
  361 votes / 2%
CSE (Canada)
  3122 votes / 19%
Some other agency or country altogether
  715 votes / 4%
Oh, I'll shop around
  8017 votes / 49%
16338 total votes.
[ Voting Booth | Other Polls | Back Home ]
  • Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
  • Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
  • This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
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I'd rather be spied on by ...

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @01:27PM (#45402499)

    Inspector Clouseau

  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @01:37PM (#45402659)
    I don't need anyone to spy on me! I have a webcam show, where I expose everything!
  • by tgeek (941867) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @01:38PM (#45402667)
    Because quite frankly, what the hell could they do with any info they gathered about me? Exploit it for propaganda purposes? /shrug
    • by Alternate Interior (725192) <> on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @04:46PM (#45405033) Homepage

      I picked Cuba, because, what with their meager resources, it's validation of mattering. It'd almost be an honor to be monitored by them. Plus, you know, interrogations on the Caribbean beach. I'm sure that it's JUST like that.

    • by lakeland (218447)

      Yeah, I went with Cuba too, but for different reasons.

      Look at how much resource the NSA has, or the Ministry of State Security... Now compare those to Cuba. I'd rather people spying on me were resource poor.

  • As a 3rd generation American citizen I would rather be spied on by the USA than any other country. Besides, nothing surprising has been revealed about what the NSA was doing, it's all been known for decades. New medium, same old spying. You would have to be under 30 or been sheltered from the nightly news the last 20 years to not know that governement agencies tap into everything from phones to snail mail and all digital variations there of. Kids these days...

    • I was actually perfectly aware that it was very likely happening. What of it? That doesn't make it okay. No one notable bothers to make the argument that it's surprising; they just say that it's morally wrong and unconstitutional.

    • Besides, nothing surprising has been revealed about what the NSA was doing, it's all been known for decades. New medium, same old spying.

      Do not let anybody tell you that. We didn't know the detailed picture of what is happening today. We didn't know about the very extensive Internet wiretapping of NSA. We didn't know about PRISM, we didn't know about XKeyScore and various other tools. We didn't know about NSA infiltrating to standardization bodies to weaken cryptographic algorithms. And so on.

  • by whitroth (9367) <whitroth.5-cent@us> on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @01:47PM (#45402825) Homepage

    Well, if we can choose who we'll be spied on by....


  • The two main criteria for choosing someone to spy on you would be that they are as close to powerless to affect you as possible, and don't share information with anyone more able to exert power on you. Some tiny country I know little about but the name and approximate location is probably going to be the best answer.
  • Cuba is the least threat. That must be why the U.S. government won't allow U.S. tourists to visit Cuba.
    • by gl4ss (559668)

      they just don't want protests at gitmo. they want to be the only american customer of cuba you see, keeps the beachfront property pricing down.

  • by NoNonAlphaCharsHere (2201864) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @01:56PM (#45402959)
    _ Google
    _ Facebook
    _ The Dream Police
    • _ Google _ Facebook _ The Dream Police

      That doesn't work. Here's why: Google + Facebook data are 100% accessible by the NSA, which is a choice on the original list. And, Cheap Trick sucks, so The Dream Police is disqualified.

  • Damn it (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Infiniti2000 (1720222) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @02:01PM (#45403047)
    What a stupid fucking poll. This poll will do nothing but troll for trolls to disparage the various countries listed, regardless of whether they're deserving or not.
  • by DaveAtFraud (460127) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @02:04PM (#45403087) Homepage Journal

    A link for those who don't know who Mrs. Grundy [] is.


  • by Zappy (7013) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @02:55PM (#45403727) Homepage

    Ik mis de Mossad (slashdot y u no unicode)

  • It's not like you have a choice - you're probably at risk of being spied on by the NSA wherever you are.
  • Missing option (and most likely).

    All of them.

  • would be a compliment.

  • by 93 Escort Wagon (326346) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @03:42PM (#45404313)


  • "You know who..." (Score:4, Insightful)

    by MikeDartt (15021) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @03:43PM (#45404331)


    • If ever there were a poll that just screamed out for a Cowboy Neil option it is this one.
      Possible options:
      Cowboy Neil already spies on me.
      Cowboy Neil spies on the NSA for me.
      Cowboy Neil shields me from the NSA.
      Cowboy Neil configured TOR for me.
  • I'll vote for the Royal Bhutanese Police's Investigative Division :)
  • You don't get to pick which state agencies are spying on you. The reality is that it's probably all of the above plus a bunch of other ones that aren't listed.

    Going along with some of the comments - you do maybe have a choice in some of the other entities that are spying on you (Google, MSFT, Facebook, etc.) The question is whether you want to avoid all useful Internet services in the interest of your own privacy. Bottom line - if you're accessing something, someone is recording that access and probably

  • The enemy of your enemy is your friend. And since Snowden informed us that the US Government is our enemy, I have been more and more fond of Russia. As a die hard patriotic and politically conservative citizen, I've had to admit to myself that my patriotism is for the American people. Not for the government.

    And in that vector, Putin has been more beneficial and friendly to the average American in the last few years than the sitting government of the US.
  • Oh the irony. When I went to vote it had been voted on 1984 times! []
  • ... I would advise any agency against spying on me. The best possible outcome for them is losing a few agents to terminal boredom.

  • I've ALREADY been spied on by at least one of those agencies, and not by choice!
  • The Guild of Calamitous Intent.

  • by businessnerd (1009815) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @05:44PM (#45405787)
    I picked Canada, because as your average boring non-resident, I feel that if Canada felt the need to go to all of the effort to spy on me specifically, then I must be doing something of great significance in the world. This of course is based on the assumption that Canada doesn't have a blanket policy to spy on everyone. We know the US spies on everyone, so being spied on by them isn't so special. Russia I can assume also probably spies on as many people as they can, maybe with a little cold war affinity for spying on Americans, so even though it is a little bad-ass to have Russia's attention, still nothing too special. Same goes for China and Cuba. With the UK, while they probably are a similar case to the US (probably a bit envious), I wouldn't want them spying on me at all. Too much risk of their agents seducing my wife.
  • Who gains anything from spying on me? Foreign agencies don't have any cause to - I'm not employed in anything remotely resembling defense or espionage, and I've done nothing that would flag me as an enemy of any state (besides make snarky comments about most of them).

    So that leaves my own government. I don't have access to anything even marginally classified, not even the newspaper job postings. So I'm not likely to be an enemy spy. I've not made any preparations to do anything against the US government, be

    • by AHuxley (892839)
      Some govs just like to be able to rewind your digital life if you ever become political or your boss lands in court or you protest or are seen near a protest or gave money to a charity or read the wrong books...
      As for tax payers money its win win win, the political leaders get warnings about the press/sources, the contractors get paid to help watch you, the gov agencies get huge new budgets and domestic powers.
    • If they kept it within reasonable limits, that would be fine.

      I fail to understand how violating people's rights would ever be fine or reasonable. I just can't agree with that.

  • The fact that /. would consider conducting such a poll is to me at least in part a reflection of the strikingly apathetic attitude that most people seem to have towards the outrageous conduct of the various national security agencies nowadays. Before 1989 it was something that only those living out their wretched lives in countries like East Germany had to endure, but that was because they lived in a police state. Yet, when it is revealed that our own "democratically elected" governments are now doing the

  • O! I forgot about that Snowden fellow.
  • So I'm picking between the US/UK/Canadian signals intelligence, and the Russian security service? I'll go with the sigint guys.

    Spetssvyaz is the Russian communications security agency (part of FSO).
  • by iONiUM (530420) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @06:33PM (#45406361) Homepage Journal

    Just curious, but why is the Canadian option so high? (I'm a Canadian).

    Does our reputation for being polite make people think our spying is also polite? Like, maybe you get a note indicating you're being spied on, along with a poutine and a tim horton's coffee?

    Or does everyone just think/know that our intelligence agencies are rather harmless...

    • Or does everyone just think/know that our intelligence agencies are rather harmless...

      Probably less about your intelligence agencies (or perceptions thereof) and more about your specops boys (or perceptions thereof). If one doesn't set foot in either USA or Canadian territory, one seems a lot more likely to be assassinated by the US than Canada. (Though the recent feats of Furlong [] and Perry [] make this a dubious assumption -- Canadians may not do as much killing as Americans, but some of them are certainly very, very good at it.)

      That said, if I were doing something that made me think any natio

    • Yes - they are (perceived as ) less likely to use information in a dastardly, illegal way, Horton's or no Horton's. Their capabilities and misuses are assumed to be less. It is sort of the same reason I purport to be Canadian when I travel throughout Europe rather than announcing myself as American, which keeps everyone I run across friendly and helpful rather than dismissive or overly guarded.
    • Because the Canadians were the only ones good enough to find the President's analyst [].

    • [] []

      CSIS is the actual spy agency. Not sure exactly what CSE is, which is a bit unnerving.

      On one hand, it seems they didn't come into existence until 2001, under the anti-terrorism act. Great. Who knew about that.
      On the other reading their bio, it doesn't seem so bad. Crypto, signals collection (which everyone does anyway), consults other government to secure systems against intrusion (which is a good thing), advises government on this sort of stuff for decision mak

  • USA (Score:5, Funny)

    by NoKaOi (1415755) on Tuesday November 12, 2013 @06:47PM (#45406503)

    The USA, because they are bound by laws and the constitution. Since they must follow the Bill of Rights, you know they aren't going to spy on you or act on any intelligence (false positive or otherwise) without proper due process.

    Other countries' intelligence agencies, on the other hand, will swoop you up in the dead of night from a foreign country and send you off to a prison camp where you will be tortured, or their law enforcement agencies could coerce you into admitting to a crime you didn't commit by threatening to send you off to that prison camp, all in the name of fighting terrorism when really some stooge just wants to check the box next to "case closed." According to my high school social studies teacher, the good ol' USA would never commit such atrocities.

    • by Chrisje (471362)

      I am assuming that whole post should have been modded up +5 Funny, but for those that don't get the sarcasm it represents I would like to add my two cents to the mix.

      Let alone the fact that the good old US of A violates the Bill of Rights, the Geneva Convention and a whole slew of international and sensible treaties on Human rights and rights in general faster than you'd be able to say porridge, I must also point out the sheer arrogance of many US citizens when they indeed trumpet their nation as the birthp

  • I am much much more worried about what companies know about me than I ever will be about the government.

  • Bhutin Urhava was next. The list is long.

  • If you are being spied upon by CSEC or GCHQ, you are being spied by the NSA - and the Aussies and the Kiwis - and vice versa.

    Reading about ECHELON left as an exercise for the reader.

  • French DGSE is missing option, and we know it joined the fest []. Surprisingly, that caused almost no reaction, as french are busy hating their government for many other reasons right now.
  • No one is interested in spying on me you insensitive clod!

  • Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!


  • All of the above.

  • ... because he's not that smart.

  • With a few exceptions they're all collecting data about everyone they can and some are sharing it with the others.

  • WTF is CSE?

    I thought the Canadian Spy Agency was CSIS? []

    I guess Canada spy agency is so super secretive that no one even knows their name! Not even slashdot, whom we all know are held to such a high standard of journalism and research. Unless this is some joke that is whooshing over me right now in regards to CSE....

    In a fun related note, I had a friend in college that had his voice mail say; "Hi you've reached CSIS, we are currently not available, but if you leave your shoe size,

  • They are the least likely to share information with my own government. They also have no interest in anything that I do.

    I really do not care who spies on me as long as they have no power or influence over me.

  • by sg_oneill (159032) on Thursday November 14, 2013 @12:36AM (#45419955)

    [ ] None of the above.

    Failing that, oh I don't know, maybe Ghana or Bhutan or some other country that will never have an impact on my life

The world is not octal despite DEC.


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