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With one-time-only use of a cloning machine, I would:

Displaying poll results.
Clone myself.
  4708 votes / 30%
Clone a parent, grandparent, etc.
  346 votes / 2%
Clone one of my children.
  231 votes / 1%
Clone a pet.
  1020 votes / 6%
Clone a spouse / significant other.
  1531 votes / 9%
Clone someone these categories don't address.
  3015 votes / 19%
Clone no one! Stop cloning around, you kids!
  4688 votes / 30%
15539 total votes.
[ Voting Booth | Other Polls | Back Home ]
  • Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
  • Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
  • This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
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With one-time-only use of a cloning machine, I would:

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 11, 2012 @09:16PM (#40961443)

    Picked "Clone a spouse/Significant Other"
    Poll still says 0 votes :(

    • TFA was unclear as to whether you're limited to living persons/animals (one option was "pet").

      A lot of the more interesting choices for the "someone else" category are no longer alive - Adolf Hitler, Mohandas Gandhi, and so forth. Probably some of the Parent/Grandparent choices are also no longer alive. If one could clone a dead person, would the clone also be dead and in a similar state of putrefaction, or are we talking about bringing them back to life as newborn infants, or at some arbitrary or specif

      • "one option was 'pet'"

        Yes, that could have been merged with "spouse" without any significant loss.

      • Well, if cloning was not restricted to living things, I'd borrow a gold bar, clone it, and give back the original. :-)

    • Picked "Clone a spouse/Significant Other" Poll still says 0 votes :(

      That's because your clone already voted. And voted for something else, too...

    • by antdude (79039)

      How about cloning just a single mate you want, but then they might still reject you. [sighs]

    • by OzPeter (195038)

      Picked "Clone a spouse/Significant Other"

      I have a copy of a cartoon I picked up in Turkey years ago. It showed a Sultan returning home at 3AM, tiptoeing along, holding his shoes in his hands.
      And just around the corner were 4 wives .. all holding rolling pins .. tapping them in their hands like clubs.
      So be careful who you clone!

    • by taniwha (70410)

      oh yeah, like having two people who think you're a dork is better than one

      • oh yeah, like having two people who think you're a dork is better than one

        Hey, so long as they don't get jealous of each other, I'm golden!

        One to cook, one to clean, two to bang - what's not to love about that?

    • Didn't vote, I don't know what kind of cloning machine we're talking about: The hard sci-fi kind that doesn't copy any information in the brain and produces a baby or the soft sci-fi kind that somehow copies all information in the brain (evil bit optional) and produces an adult. I'd have very different answers depending on the type.

    • by Torinaga-Sama (189890) on Monday August 13, 2012 @03:36PM (#40977265) Homepage

      Why would you want to clone a spose/Significant other? It's hard enough keeping one of them happy.

  • by xprisoner (989858) on Saturday August 11, 2012 @09:16PM (#40961447)
    what else is cloning good for you dolts...
  • by K. S. Kyosuke (729550) on Saturday August 11, 2012 @09:18PM (#40961455)
    Could come in handy in case she's not available.
  • Nobody (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Nimey (114278) on Saturday August 11, 2012 @09:33PM (#40961515) Homepage Journal

    We're badly overpopulated as it is, and no end in sight.

    • Re:Nobody (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 11, 2012 @11:20PM (#40962023)

      I call shenanigans.

      You get offered a one-time use of an amazing, unheard-of, otherwise futuristic piece of technology, and you wouldn't use it because 7-someoddbillion + 1 is more than 7-someoddbillion?


    • Re:Nobody (Score:5, Interesting)

      by rubycodez (864176) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @09:52AM (#40964163)

      nonsense, the end is very much in sight, the 2nd derivative of the population curve shows we will peak in about 2080 with 8.5 billion people on earth.

      stop the hysterics.

      • by martas (1439879)
        Actually I've heard estimates saying 10B, or even 12B, but yes, the point is the population is going to peak soon (before 2100), within less than +70% of the current population. Talking about overpopulation as the big problem misses the point.
        • by Phrogman (80473)

          Yes, its the climate change, mass starvation, disease, revolutions, warfare, rise of plutocracies, and the collapse of civilization as we know it that we should be paying more attention to.
          The earth is (so far) a closed system, it will naturally correct things in the end, its just that we may not like the correction process very much. And of course much of the resources are one-time consumables.

          • by bky1701 (979071)
            "Yes, its the climate change, mass starvation, disease, revolutions, warfare, rise of plutocracies, and the collapse of civilization as we know it that we should be paying more attention to."

            Or as I like to call it, 'business as usual.'
          • by danbert8 (1024253)

            I like to be more optimistic and think the population will level off as the population has a higher standard of living due to robots doing all the work and birth rates drop.

          • by martas (1439879)
            No, these predictions aren't based on increased mortality rate due to the factors you describe. They're based on the smooth continuation of current trends. See eg [] (slightly OT, but he still explains the point well).
  • If making multiple copies of the same person is allowed, I would make a clone army of myself. Minimum 1 million soldiers. Then I take over the world. Muahahaha. Otherwise, Id still clone myself, just to see how it would turn out.
    • by arth1 (260657) on Saturday August 11, 2012 @10:36PM (#40961801) Homepage Journal

      Bad idea. You would likely overthrow you.

      If multiple clones is an option, I vote for cloning the most desirable person of the desired sex you can find. If you can't sweet talk her (using "her" as a convenience here, YPMV) the first day, let her go, and make another clone the next day. Do a Ground Hog Day on her until you have perfected the spiel.
      Don't forget a prenup. If she later turns bitchy, you can always replace her with another clone.

      • by cupantae (1304123)

        You would likely overthrow you.

        Only if you're an idiot. If I were to make an army of "me"s, there would be no need for a hierarchy. Because everyone is of equal ability, each clone is assigned a serial number and tasks are randomly assigned to the serial numbers. This way, each clone just does his own work. No one has to worry about whether the clones doing job X are doing a good enough job. The system takes care of itself. sigh... a man can dream.

  • And if that's not an option, how about some gold bullion?

  • Hrrm (Score:5, Funny)

    by girlintraining (1395911) on Saturday August 11, 2012 @10:35PM (#40961791)
    Only a web site filled with computer nerds would fail to put "Clone a supermodel" as an option. -_-
    • Sure there was. There's the option right there: "Clone a spouse / significant other".

      What are you saying - the rest of you aren't married to supermodels?

    • by Misagon (1135)

      Only because most nerds consider that option to be too obvious to list ...

    • by antdude (79039)

      Even if they could get supermodels, they would still be rejected. :(

    • The poll didn't say " your spouse / significant other", just " a spouse / significant other". So as long as that supermodel has a significant other, you can clone the significant other's significant other.

  • Clone myself, but... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Zadaz (950521) on Saturday August 11, 2012 @10:40PM (#40961825)

    But keep them (me) in a coma to harvest for organs.


    • But keep them (me) in a coma to harvest for organs.


      Bad idea. If you did that, no matter what sort of Orwellian security system or clone handicapping mechanism you have in place to prevent against it, one of your clones (the whiniest, most likely) would eventually escape and tell everyone of your operation [] and ruin your presidential bid.

      You are going to run for president, right? It's the only logical thing to do with clones, as I understand it.

    • by martas (1439879) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @03:33PM (#40966441)
      I'd clone myself, but keep it a secret so I can do half the work, by alternating with him. Also masturbation would be a lot awesomer.
  • Doesn't matter (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Tau Neutrino (76206) on Saturday August 11, 2012 @10:41PM (#40961837)
    Whoever you clone, it'll still be twenty years before the clone is an adult. And by then, you'll be old. Or at least older. And different. And likely somebody who would have chosen differently, twenty years earlier.

    The question is: who would you duplicate? As in, a fresh copy, indistinguishable from the original. Right now, ready to go, no waiting required.

    The mind boggles.
    • by marcello_dl (667940) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @07:05AM (#40963469) Homepage Journal

      That's exactly the reason why I'd clone Stallman.

      So in 15 years and for another bunch of decades, you'd have somebody ranting about the GNU before Linux.

      It would be one of my best trolling accomplishment, if somewhat costly.

      • by cupantae (1304123)

        Here's an interesting (although ridiculous) hypothetical:
        What if someone managed to create a machine that turns any given person into a clone of Stallman, and then they went crazy with it? In other words, what if most people were Stallman?

        I'd wager they'd all be arguing with each other just as ferociously as he does with others and that proprietary software would still be common.

        • Re:Doesn't matter (Score:4, Interesting)

          by marcello_dl (667940) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @03:16PM (#40966293) Homepage Journal

          Stallman is a nice person, I think he has the problem most geeks have with the rest of the world: geeks communicate information, the rest of the world plays chess with information, as they reason about the effect a communication has on the receiver.
          So when normal people will say "yes, sure" and think "whatever", the geek will argue until you' ve proven him wrong.

          He has also the problem of declaring himself atheist, which probably means he is applying human logic and concepts to a hypothetical divine dimension, which is the same as incrementing an undeclared variable in an unknown programming language. In a plane where space, time, and the principle of non contradiction itself may not have the same meaning, all your attempts to construct arguments pro- or versus- a god are equally ridiculous.

          (yeah still trolling)

    • by Anonymous Coward

      I for one would clone a porn star, bring her up to view me as her only sexual interest, and then when she's old enough to be of interest, I'll have a really good time until I'm bored with her. Then, I'd use her to make movies and profit and farm her out to perverts - especially when she's under 12 years of age.

      Actually, I'd clone a few porn stars to keep things interesting.

      I'd also clone Marilyn Monroe for really big bucks.

      I'd also clone terrorists, brain wash them to view me as their god, and when I need

  • Ethics aside... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Bonker (243350) on Saturday August 11, 2012 @10:48PM (#40961871)

    When I saw the question, my first thought was 'Back from the Dead machine! If I could bring back anyone...' which was immediately countered by 'No, no, no... A CLONING machine, moron.' Any clone I made would biologically be the identical twin of the person or animal I chose to clone, but would not be that same person. Their experiences and environmental factors would be wildly different.

    Now, with that in mind, I began thinking about 'Well, who would I like to spend time with that I can't?'

    I thought of my beloved tabby cat, who lived to be 15. I would enjoy spending another 15 years with an almost identical kitty, but I already have two younger cats I love dearly. I'd get more out of my time spending time with those guys.

    My spouse? Why on earth would I want more than one? She's the jealous type and I'm not interested in any kind of polygamy or polyamory.

    But we are childless. The opportunity to raise my spouse's identical twin as our child is actually quite attractive. I know that I'm compatible emotionally with my spouse, so the idea of raising a child guaranteed to be very similar to her is very interesting. If I had to chose, I think I'd go that route.

    But, of course there *are* serious ethical issues. It's fun to think about, though.

  • I'd just clone a copy of her for myself. :)
  • by gman003 (1693318) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @12:10AM (#40962249)

    "Always keep a backup". Good to know I'm not the only one picking the right option.

    • by teslar (706653)

      I thought rule #1 was "Never let suspects stay together" (and "Never screw over your partner")...

  • by NixieBunny (859050) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @01:24AM (#40962525) Homepage
    I have an identical twin brother, so why would I need another clone?
  • I'd clone myself but as a woman, and then we'd get married. Or kill each other.
    • by twosat (1414337) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @04:17AM (#40963031)

      I'm surprised that no-one here has mentioned "The Clone Song" by Isaac Asimov, first 2 verses listed below:

      Oh, give me a clone
      Of my own flesh and bone
      With its Y chromosome changed to X.
      And after it's grown,
      Then my own little clone
      Will be of the opposite sex.

      Clone, clone of my own,
      With its Y chromosome changed to X.
      And when I'm alone
      With my own little clone
      We will both think of nothing but sex.

      • by Rei (128717)

        Don't even have to swap out a chromosome, or even individual genes. Just need to start or suppress the initial sex-determination cascade normally triggered by SRY. Could probably be done in a purely chemical fashion easier than genetic manipulation. Once the gonads have developed sufficiently, your work is done.

        There'd be some statistical differences with the general opposite-sex population for sex-linked traits (such as color blindness), and they'll be infertile and a few other medical issues (although

    • we'd get married. Or kill each other. Or both! These aren't mutually exclusive options, ya' know.

  • Figure out who, duplicated, would do most good for humankind.

    Then ask their permission. And work down the list until I got a "yes". Lists of Nobel Prize winners would appear to be a good place to start.

  • by Ronin441 (89631) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @03:38AM (#40962913) Homepage

    Why is this post not tagged "dupe"?

  • Baby clone or aged one?
    Blank memory or full transfer?

    A perfect copy could cancel death or maiming. But cloning a baby-self and watching it grow is a little too narcissic. Even if it is "yourself", once it is brought into the world, it should live its own life and never be forced to become you.

    • Cloning yourself mostly implies a copy of oneself as you are now, at first impression.

      31% of /. is narcissistic 8D

    • by kria (126207)
      I assumed it was the traditional bizarre SF choice of physically identical, or at least adult, and with full memories and picked A Parent. If I thought it was with a blank mind, I would go with either a pet or no one, as I think having a copy of my boyfriend, a parent, etc that was just an identical physical shell would be creepy beyond all belief.
  • by Tom (822)

    What kind of cloning machine are we talking about? Specifically, what's the input and output parameters? Is it a duplication device that needs a living human as input and creates an identical copy as output, or is it a breeding device that takes DNA as input and creates a fertilzed egg as output?

    In the former case, I'd clone myself and split up my task list between the two of us. I definitely could use twice as much time for everything I want to do.

    In the later case, it's more difficult. With only the DNA b

    • by rossdee (243626)

      Yes, there needs to be more details about the rules/capabilies of this cloning machine.

      Can you clone yourself but younger and transplant the brain (or download the consciousness into the new younger you? That would be the best option for many of us that are older than the average slashdotter

  • I would clone marie-kate and/or ashley olsen.
  • No scientific/historical figures in the list, it's all "me me me". *sigh*

    My first thought was Einstein, because Einstein. Then I thought, who would Einstein want cloned? He would probably have said Gandhi. And who am I to argue with a hypothetical Einstein?

  • for me (Score:5, Interesting)

    by buddyglass (925859) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @08:49AM (#40963843)
    I'm assuming the clone would be born as a child and not be an exact copy of an adult. I'd clone someone famously intelligent or creative, then give the baby to an "average" adoptive family (without telling anyone that he/she is a clone) and monitor future development. How would Einstein v2 fare compared to Einstein v1?
    • by gaelfx (1111115)

      Same experiment would be equally, if not more, interesting if you chose someone more INfamous than FAMOUS. Take, for example, Hitler. What if you cloned Hitler and he turned out to be a creative genius that sparked a second renaissance? Of course, if he still turned out douchey, you could probably make a good deal of money selling tickets for people to punch him in the nuts. Either way, we learn something about human nature.

      • True. Was kind of trying to mitigate the risk of giving the world a second Hitler in case v2 happened to turn out like v1.
  • We could use another Raquel Welch or Joan Collins.
  • ... and then he would be trained in armed combat and forced to wear white armour.

    The first step in my quest for ruling the galaxy.
    Well.. it worked in Star Wars, didn't it?

  • ..For the LOLz, see if he turns out the same way again ;-)

  • The former [] because she would scare the bejeezus out of our current leaders, the latter [] because it's his 100th birthday, and we need him more than ever.
  • by DigiTechGuy (1747636) on Sunday August 12, 2012 @10:56PM (#40969605)

    Life is hard, part break and wear out.

  • by aaronb1138 (2035478) on Monday August 13, 2012 @01:22AM (#40970295)

    All wrong answers. You clone the person who invented the cloning machine so they can be locked up in your basement making more cloning machines. Unlike wishing for more wishes from a lamp / genie, this violates none of those pesky logic circles, Disney copyrights, or laws of thermodynamics.

  • I'm against human cloning. Also against identical twins.

  • Nikola Tesla.

    Do I really need to elaborate?
  • Is not the same having the same genetic code than having the same memories/personality/age/training/etc. If were for clones, i would choose people with specific genes, like in genetic manipulation, but picking a combination that is already proved to be good. And of course, complement it with the right education/culture to turn all those lookalike clones into something useful instead of people with serious psychological problems generated by seeing themselves in every corner.
  • by Githaron (2462596) on Monday August 13, 2012 @11:47AM (#40974547)
    Why clone things that are still alive? Dinosaurs would be the cool way of doing things. Besides, I want a laser-eyed T-rex.

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland. -- Jack Paar


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