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bluefairee's Journal: home? 11

Journal by bluefairee
i'm back. i'm still not to keen on the idea of being here, but i am. thank you for all the words of support for myself as well as dave. i worry he's taken on something too big for him, but he won't let up. so here i am.

i'm on meds and supposed to see doctors, ect. right now one day at a time is more then i can stand. i'm just going with the moment. i've made many promises not to hurt myself in anyway. i won't, but i sure as hell want to. i don't want to be here. i don't want to be in dave's home. i don't want to be dependant on anyone, but right now i have to be. i can't live alone because i don't trust myself.

the doc. says take a few weeks to get used to being home and out of the hospital. then i can find a fun part-time job that is low stress. dave has mentioned me going back to school. it sounds interesting, but i don't even know what i'm gonna do in the morning let alone next semester.

in any case, thanks for your concern. i'll be around.

blue

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  • Things get better.

    Let Dave help.

    Let us help if we can.

    Take care.

  • ...to where smoking is whenever a person wants, same with eating. The day is not puncuated with sceduled sessions of talking about yourself to people who are more fucked up than you. Yes it is good to be out.

    Take time to think about absolutely nothing. Healing takes time, so fuck the rushing. Do what you enjoy and the time will melt.
  • by blinder (153117)
    Its nice to see you here. Yes, I know you don't want to be dependent, but there are times, like what you are going through where maybe its okay just to let yourself go and allow yourself to be cared for.

    I wrote a response in one of Dave's journals about how being a care giver is hard work, but he's decided to assume the role of care giver, so please, let him do the hard work okay?

    I can't pretend to even understand what you are going through or how you may be feeling. I've been going through some pretty to
  • Remember you can always post here, if you need to talk. We're always open, yuk yuk...

    Glad you're back.

    Pixie
  • He's giving you a gift. It's not an issue of dependence, or imposing. If you really want, think about paying it forward. I think that bespeaks a better attitude.

    As others have said, live in the moment if that is what you need. When you are in better shape, you will likely be more interested in planning.

    It's good to see you back. Your absence was felt.
  • hello ms fairee.

    it might sound trite because i don't know you very well, but i am so relieved that you've decided to try to move past this. i wish you the best in your struggles.

    i've had times where i've felt pretty low, but never far enough that i actually followed through with any of my plans. now i'm glad that i didn't.

    human life is not a burden to those that respect it. dave is one of those people. your life is obviously worth much more to him than any possible inconvenience which helping you mig
  • Welcome back. We saved your regular seat for you. :-)

  • Hey there, you tough cookie..

    It's good to hear from you again!

    If I would whish one thing for you, right now, then I would whish for you to dream the dream you always dreamt of, tonight.

    Otherwise, take your time. Let your head rest and breath. Read a book. Pick up sports or aerobics or something. Experiment with cook books. Get the groceries..

    Most geeks here will agree that stuff like that is priceless, the computer addicts that they are. People NEED these kind of analog occupancies in order to kno
  • I don't know you, and I only learned about your situation after it had become dire, but it's good to see you back. I know... knew... several people who did not, including one just a short time ago.

    (well-meaning but probably stupid advice deleted) Best of luck to you.

"Can you program?" "Well, I'm literate, if that's what you mean!"

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