Starship Trooper's Journal: The (Hopefully) Great SLASHDOT CROSSWORD PUZZLE!

     Presented for your entertainment ...
☞   THE (HOPEFULLY) GREAT SLASHDOT CROSSWORD PUZZLE!   ☜

Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but ☆ GREAT PRIZES!! ☆ Prizes include the following:

♠ A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS !
♦ Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER !
♣ A hot date with NATALIE PORTMAN !
♥ A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE !

It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:

☯ Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
☯ Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
☯ The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).

While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)

So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here (and thanks to Fiver-rah, a PostScript version is available here and here). Good luck! ☺

+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|  |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16|  |##| |##|17| | |  |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|##|18|  | |19|##|##|1a| |1b|  | |##|##|##|1c|##|##|##| |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|1d|  |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|##|25|26|27|  |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c|  |##|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|##|2d|  | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31|  | |##|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|##|##|##|32| | |  |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b|  |##| |##|3c| | |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|3d| | |  |3e|##|##|3f| |  |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|  |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | |  |##|46|47|48|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| |  | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| |  |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|##|  |##|##| |##|  |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|53| | | | |##|  |##|54| | | | |##|55| |  |##|##| |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##|  |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|59|  |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##|  |  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61|  |##|62|63| | |##|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66|  | |##|##|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|67| |##|68|  | |##|69| |##|6a| |  | |##|6b| | | |##|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +  
	
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | |  |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|  
	
+- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +- +

THE CLUES:

Across
 1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
 5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
 7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.

Down
 1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
 2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
 3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
 4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
 5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
 6. Russian Geeks in Space.
 7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
 8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
 9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
19. Do many eyes make all bugs shallow, or do too many cooks spoil the broth?
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
63. Apple stole all their ideas from this research group.
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh* ...
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.

fin