mapfortu's Journal: 140117 (seco)

140117. Security Alert.

Senor Pedro Marco Agapito Jose Juan Martinez
Prime MInister Lewis Hairpinblue
Revenerable Foo' Moe-D

Many customer systems have become terribly infected with the DD virus and the FS mutations. You will not be able to press any new install CDs. Homey G. Biznatch would like to note that most of you are on Windows systems and never really bother with that sort of operation. New install CDs for your media have been found to be infiltrated with clones released through various branches and subsidiaries of Eunuch, Adoniis, Zorg, & Co. Please do not use such media. We will not allow you to connect to our network until you cleanse and we are keeping the subscription fee.

SSG himself has been working very diligently, auditing all of the registers himself and taking on extra routes and paths to verify posted plate checks, with the eye of a seasoned gem inspector, on methodologies to identify those systems which are so lethally infected. The most recent technique follows.

If they play dead like they've been hit by a truck then they could be a jobbie.
If they play dead like a sack of taters then they could be an infected.
Do they look somewhat queasy looking at the picture of the frightened Halloween cat? That could be an infected.
Do they hear the tapping of the crow on their tailback? That's from arching the hips up, cramping the neck, to play dead like a sack of taters and support the weight.

Additionally, many systems have been found to be infected with the "lucky one shot buck" virus. Common symptoms are toilet confusion of activity formatting lines and sectors and no perception of a graduated filesystem due to the constraints of the "lucky one shot buck" virus. Full rehabilitation of the systems is completely necessary.

The prepubescence virus continues to be most aptly noticed by the absence of the keycode "supra" in the voce() function of dram.d on the install CD (or executable) for your SSG media. Duplicates issued by A,E,Z have been unable to replicate supra.

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