subjectstorm's Journal: just some crap. isn't it all?

Racial, Ethnic, Sexist, Cultural, Religious and Political Slurs:

My main opposition to slurs is not that they exist, but that they are inadequate and antiquated. PLEASE - think before you slur!

For instance - the term "raghead". While I can appreciate the forces behind this slur at its time of inception, I believe that it is no longer viable. For instance, most of the iraqis that I see on CNN are not wearing towels or rags on their heads. This is a problem, because calling a person a rag or towelhead sort of necessitates the wearing of a rag or towel like dressing on the head of that person.

The iraqi people DO seem to have an overwhelming preference for khaki pants, AK-47s, and Rocket Propelled Grenades. They tend to have mustaches, and they also seem to enjoy throwing shoes.

Here is a more acceptable and applicable slur, based on modern guidelines and the news coverage I have viewed: "Those goddamn shoe throwing Kahkis just blew up another fucking fuel truck. Those Mustachers and their AKs are just way the hell out of control."

Now isn't that better?

I also implore certain overzealous islamic sects to stop using the term "White Devil". "Great Satan" is much more broad and general, and is therefore the more appropriate term. However, if specificity is the aim of these remarks, we should try adopting the term "Egocentric Multicultural Capitalist (she/he)Devils" as this more accurately encompasses your hate-target.

Drunkenness as it pertains to driving and other pursuits:

I recognize that drunk driving is a very serious problem. I think that we are solving it in the wrong manner however.

What we SHOULD do is make it mandatory to drink a certain obscene amount of alcohol before a person is allowed to leave. Then they should be forced to fight other drunks with electro-batons in a filthy pit behind the bar. The winner of the tournament gains exclusive privileges to drive himself home. The losers have to stay in the bar until they can pass a breathalyzer test or become the KING OF THE DRUNKS in the electro-baton throwdown.

I do not actually advocate this in any manner, and believe it to be stupid. But stupidity can be fun, and i would definitely rent the videos.

Honesty in Christmas Cards

Christmas comes but once a year! While we're all 'tis-ing the season this year, let's reflect on Christmases past and what the holidays really mean to us.

To a brief acquaintance:

Dearest person,

Though we have apparently met before, I must admit that I can recall your face only vaguely and your name not at all. Here's celebrating peace through mutual obscurity. May we continue to hint at each other's supposed existence while tacitly acknowledging our respective unimportance to each other through the magic of signed stock greetings for many Christmases to come (or until we run out of envelopes).

To Your Boss:

Happy Christmas. I hope you enjoy spending time with your loved ones as much as I enjoy being forced to work a double shift to cover for you. I think I speak for all of us stuck here at the office when I say that I fervently hope that you don't choke on a piece of meat or have your eyes gouged out and fed to you or anything unpleasant like that.

To the stinky person:

Christmas has come again, like a cool, minty breeze of goodwill. Christmas, unlike some people, is always freshly scrubbed and nice smelling. Let us inhale the sweet scent of the holiday, and exhale the malodorous stench of dubious hygiene.

To the Bitch:

May the Christmas season find you relaxing in a cozy spot by a crackling fire, enjoying a nice, warm cup of die bitch we hate you.

-1, redundant?

[sanctimonius hypocrt]

My father told me that years ago when he was in the army, a notice appeared on the bulletin board in early December. It said. "It is presumed that every one wishes everyone else a merry Christmas and a happy New Year; Therefore, no further expression of these sentiments is to be made with Army resources."