Journal FortKnox's Journal: I am Roger... The Shrubber 21
Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
I'm embarassed to mention this (especially because there is a good chance glh will read this[1]):
This weekend I got Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Special Edition. Before this, I never owned the movie.
So there is the most 'ungeek' like thing about me. But I did remedy it.
Here, to make you all not recoil in disguist, here's some quotes:
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
...
Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
...
Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
What makes you think she's a witch?
Well she turned me into a newt!
A newt?
I got better.
Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Lancelot: No, I'm not.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments!
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
King of Swamp Castle: You only killed the bride's father, you know!
Sir Lancelot: Well, I didn't mean to.
King of Swamp Castle: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head!
Sir Lancelot: Oh dear... is he all right?
[1] glh and I were good friends when we were both first introduced to Monty Python. We'd quote it for weeks at a time, too...
I'm embarassed to mention this (especially because there is a good chance glh will read this[1]):
This weekend I got Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Special Edition. Before this, I never owned the movie.
So there is the most 'ungeek' like thing about me. But I did remedy it.
Here, to make you all not recoil in disguist, here's some quotes:
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
What makes you think she's a witch?
Well she turned me into a newt!
A newt?
I got better.
Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Lancelot: No, I'm not.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments!
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
King of Swamp Castle: You only killed the bride's father, you know!
Sir Lancelot: Well, I didn't mean to.
King of Swamp Castle: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head!
Sir Lancelot: Oh dear... is he all right?
[1] glh and I were good friends when we were both first introduced to Monty Python. We'd quote it for weeks at a time, too...
Don't feel bad FK (Score:2)
Delicious (Score:2)
Ahh, the sheer genius.
I should have known I was in trouble... (Score:2)
I watched Meaning of Life, and sadly enough, lots of it went way over my head (well, I got the sex bits... but not much else). It was better watching Holy Grail. But I didn't really become a connossieur until I purchased The Final Ripoff album my freshman year in college and listened to it *over* and *over* and *over*.... Something about the rep
Re:I should have known I was in trouble... (Score:2)
You, AC, can raise your passle of offspring (I assume you have many, since you have eschewed the geekly life, according to your post-grad experience) any way you like. Looks like it's working great for you!
As for me, I'm gonna stick to the funny stuff. The *smart* funny stuff.
I too (Score:2)
So I'm now behind you because I still don't own it!
jason
Help! Help! I'm being oppressed! (Score:2)
Re:Help! Help! I'm being oppressed! (Score:1)
Best lines (Score:2)
An English or African Sparrow?
A duck!
I want to sing!
I'm being opressed!
Top 5 movies ever.
Stop! Stop! (Score:1)
Re:Best lines (Score:2)
Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow [style.org]
Silly English KNNIIIIIIGGGGGITT!! (Score:2)
I definitely miss those days. Quoting MP 24-7, playing cards in 7th period commons.. that was a lot of fun.
Re:Silly English KNNIIIIIIGGGGGITT!! (Score:2)
As Zaphod would say (Score:2)
You have taken but the first step. (Score:2)
Holy Grail is a good start, the best, really, but your MP lexicon will be woefully incomplete until you commit Jabberwocky similarly to memory.
I've been quoting them for 25 years. I actually took a tape recorder to the movies so I could record dialog. I replayed those tapes endlessly. This was not only pre-DVD, it was pre-VCR.
Of course, then there's the "modern era." Life of Brian.
If I were stranded on a desert island with just three movies and a way to watch them, I could die a happ
Considering (Score:2)
that I watched that movie only three weeks back, you can be excused for this transgression of geekitude.
I mean, you have watched LoTR: RoTK more than twice, haven't you?
just today (Score:2)
We are all individuals.
Re:just today (Score:1)
I was raised on Python; Dad had me watching 'the grail' and 'the life of brian' at an early age. I didn't get a lot of the jokes 'til later, but... my next-to-youngest brother still likes the 'ministry of silly walks' sketch.
Sadly, I own all 13 mini-box sets of the series, as well as Life of Brian, the Grail, and the meaning of life.
Hi, I'm kshgoddess, and I'm a total geek.
Re:just today (Score:2)
"Sadly"??? There is nothing sad about that.
Re:just today (Score:1)
PAH, you Amateur! (Score:2)
But I do have the BOOK! HAHA! Hahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Ho-ho-hooo! It is quite tatty, being a paperback from perhaps the seventies or early eighties, and... come to mention it, I can't actually think where it would be right now, but it is sort of official, and rather thorough too.
I also have Bert Fegg's Nasty Book (by Terry Jones and Michael Palin), which I got when I w