packrat2's Journal: snivel blog

Sept 30 2013 Monday .. Snivel-blog

    Three sales. Two fan letters. No traction. (ARRGH, so close.) So now what?

    I released 'Girl-ghost!' on Sept 26th, my birthday. A real book launch, complete (now) with films adverts, a new book, and me spamming my fans about it.)

    The books have dudded. Total sales under $10; an order of magnitude out of even getting paid. (I HATE paypal. Nothing but spam from them so far; worse to come as far as the news reads. They want at least $10, too. Or a $75.00 to a drop-box stateside, otherwise.)

    Positive thinking? Like work, if they pay for it, I get rave reviews and fan-mail. SF is best. Freebies are a waste of time, just like fantasy. (Even cartoons move better than the Arron+Henna series. The one I released.)

    Just like work. If they're paying for it, I'm wonderful. (To the boss.) If they aren't paying me, I'm shit-pit. (Will their culture produce a working society, defining a working society as having a functional (public) water system? Very dubious. Politics rules supreme, not survival.)

    Snivel, snivel, snivel.

    Still, I need work again. Expenses are 1200 mth, income, 8.

      The difficult thing there is my arthritis is getting worse. A walking range of 100 feet between rest-stops, a working ability of an hour or two, no lifting anymore, no walking, no standing for very long. (Hips going crunchy, constant ache. Knee a pain now, feet numb out, legs cramp. HATE stairs. I carry pain-killers everywhere, always. Sucks to alive, basically.)

    Have I mentioned I'm a smelly, weird creep? With a double dose of doc'ed weird?

    So I can't work at what Iâ(TM)ve been doing the last 40 years at all. And can't FIND anything where I just sit and yak. I've been spreading paper around, looking.

    Plus it's been 35 years since university. (I did my first program in pascal. Admittedly, borland did both object + straight pascal in the package, but I STILL look at c++ with suspicion.)

    Hurts to move. Bored sitting still. The books aren't getting any traction. (Siiiigh. Even with 10,000 paying fans, I couldn't afford to quit the day job anyway. The one I don't have anymore.)

    So now what? I'm dry here. (I wrote 3 books while the 2 yr job at Tri-co lasted. NOTHING except what I think was vermin stealing as much as they could came out of that.)

    Find someone who will pay for it and has no shit-pit to annoy them? Neat, but how?

    Man. Turned 59. My body fell apart. The eco collapsed. The ecology sounds worse. (Including bees, additives and GM there.)

    Ya gotta kiss 3000 frogs before you find a (prince, warlord, bandit, grunt) etc?

    I really need an etc. I was here, worked hard and found out social existence sucks big-time.

    Did have a good week, thou. Birthday gifties extraordinaire, (fudge. Money, new quilt, (with pockets. Oh well, Iâ(TM)ve been thinking of starting dating again anyway.) CAKE! Party. Looked for monica under the desk, didn't see her. Rats-rats-rats-rats.) A trickle of fan-mail. One fan liked what he saw + bought a copy of everything. Change turned up in my fall coat. A lost package got returned. A job interview. (dud.)

    Nasty, nasty cold. Still getting rid of that.

    Grind on and hope this ends soon. Been there, done that, not interested in doing it again anytime soon, thou.

    pat