Catch up on stories from the past week (and beyond) at the Slashdot story archive

 



Forgot your password?
typodupeerror

Slashdot videos: Now with more Slashdot!

  • View

  • Discuss

  • Share

We've improved Slashdot's video section; now you can view our video interviews, product close-ups and site visits with all the usual Slashdot options to comment, share, etc. No more walled garden! It's a work in progress -- we hope you'll check it out (Learn more about the recent updates).

×
VA

The Turd Report's Journal: The Turd Report 11/10/2003 4

Journal by The Turd Report

There is something up with a muscle in my upper leg; the pain is like a punishment from God. My doc perscribed Percocet for me; they tend to bind me up. I hadn't pooped for almost 2 days and this morning the pain in my gut was unbearable. In the past days I had eaten the buffet at Charlie Chang's, a roll-up from Harris Teeter's, 2 cheeseburgers from McD's, and 2-3 pounds of red, seedless grapes. This sat in my gut, like a lead weight. Sitting on the can was painful as the muscle is very tight. Being backed up, I had to push like I haven't pushed a turd in a very long while. After a few minutes, it all rushed from my body in one explosive load. I instantly felt 5 pounds lighter and 100% better. The turd was shaped like grape-shot that they used to use in cannons and was a uniform brown color. I can't comment on odor, as the cat had just taken a poop right before me (and my cat's poop reeks like hot death). Clean up was very easy. The almost painful level of pushing does hurt the over all rating of this turd, but I felt so good afterwards, I'll give it an 8.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

The Turd Report 11/10/2003

Comments Filter:
  • Man, I feel bad about your health problems, but my GOD. Can you describe a dump or what!

    Today has sucked on a lot of levels, but this just made my day.

    let's ponder that for a moment.

    An anonymous stranger posting about the shit they took today made me feel better.

    I need help.

"Mach was the greatest intellectual fraud in the last ten years." "What about X?" "I said `intellectual'." ;login, 9/1990

Working...