IWorkForMorons's Journal: Why does it hurt to come to work...

This is just a rant...

I hate insurance. More specifically, I hate working for an insurance company. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just too much of the geeky tech type for these people. Or too much of the will-do-anything-for-fun type. Whatever it is, I do not fit in with these people. They're mostly just uptight "business" people, save for the redeemable few. And even they are a little too uptight at times.

I've gotten to the point where I've been lectured, meetinged, committeed, and motivational-speeched to the point that I just don't care any more. I am literally at that point described in Office Space. I work hard enough to just not get fired. And let me tell you, that isn't very much. On average, I might do about hours work a week. What's the point of doing any more. When I did do more, way back when I just got out of school and I was excited about "entering the work world", I enjoyed it. I worked hard at trying to give people what they wanted. But there is that point when you do all this work and you realize...no one is noticing. Sure, the boss tells me I did a great job. Then a week later, he proceeds to tell me all the reasons why I won't be getting that promotion or that raise. Yeah, that's a real motivator. In three years I've made a total of $6,000 in raises, and I had to fight for one of those raises. I'm still making less now then most of my friends from college started at 3 years ago. What's the point of trying?

Yes, yes. I know. Why don't I just get another job? Well, when you live in Waterloo, Ontario, and you only went to college and not the sanctuary of geekness that is the U of Waterloo, it's hard to get a job in a good tech company. Hell, even the mainstream businesses will take a UW grad over a college student. So job hunting is a little difficult. So I'm stuck for now doing a crappy job at my crappy job.

I sometimes worry that I will be fired eventually. But sometimes it almost seems as if that might be the best thing in the world. Fire me. Go ahead. And as soon as they do, I will let go of all this pent up rage and resentment. I will let everyone know exactly how I feel. Burn bridges you say? I'm going to make the BC forest fires look like Boy Scout test. I'm already on the edge. So go ahead. Give me that nudge. I dare you...