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The Turd Report's Journal: The Turd Report 09/07/2003 7

Journal by The Turd Report
Yesterday, I had a roast beef roll-up from Harris Teeter. I also had a California roll and some shrimp sushi. For dinner, I had a dozen frozen pizza rolls.

This mornings turd was rather solid. It took a second of pushing followed by the relief of the turd breaking thru to splashdown. The turd was in two peices, the main one was kinda ice-creamcone shaped (at 5") and the other was a mini-turd (at 2.5"). They were both uniformly a generic brown color. I found this to be odd, because the roast beef roll I had has these long strips of lettuce in them that stay intact thru the digestive process; this usually gives the turd a racing stripe of green down one side. The odor was masked by the orange floor cleaner that I had mopped with the previous night. Clean-up was very easy and only took a couple of wipes followed with a wet wipe. I rate this turd an 8.

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The Turd Report 09/07/2003

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  • YESTERDAY I HAD A ROAST BAF ROL-UP FROM HARIS TETAR11!! WTF LOL I ALSO HAD A CALIFORNIA ROL AND SOME SHRIMP SUSHI1!!!!! OMG WTF FOR DINER I HAD A DOZ3N FROZ3N PIZA ROLS
    THIS11!!!! OMG WTF MORNNGS TURD WAS RATH3R SOLID!!11! WTF IT 2K A SECOND OF PUSHNG FOLOWED BY DA RALEIF OF DA TURD BREAKNG THRU 2 SPLASHDOWN1111!! OMG WTF DA TURD WAS IN TWO PEIECS TEH MANE ONE WAS KINDA IEC-CR3MCONE SHAEPD (AT 5) AND TEH OTHAR WAS A MINI-TURD (AT 25)11!!1 WTF THAY W3RE BOTH UNIFORMLY A G3NERIC BROWN COLOR11!!1! OMG LOL I FOU
  • Months of silence, and then WHAM, an 8!
    That's some big shit (pun intended)
    • I disagree. I'll take the woman's approach:

      You think you can just shit and shit and shit, then nothing for months and then come back and shit again? NO! You need to explain where the hell you been and how everything has gone, then, and only then, may you shit!

      Or soemthing... good to see ya back! :-)
      • Well, my live became very shitty for a while there. My kidneys re-failed, my mom died, and my fiance left me, all in the span of 2 months. So, I now have to cover her part of our life ($$$) and I have to do dialysis and work 50+ hrs a week. I have not been a happy pooper.
  • Have you been constipated for this long?

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the demigodic party. -- Dennis Ritchie

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