Journal Guipo's Journal: Learning to live again 1
The skinny of it. I cheated on Michelle for Donna. I did. There was no justifying that. and the I left chelle for Donna. Chelle had it hard up for me. I really fucked her over. I broke a heart, like it meant nothing. Every day of my life, my soul has aches from that. I dont know why. Its been nearly 3 years. well maybe 2. I really dont know. Time no longer has value. Through this entire relationship with donna, its so strange. I never stopped loving chelle. I dont know why. I kept it bottled in, and ignored it, but it proves more true today as it did months ago. How can you cheat on someone you love?
That is a fantastic question. The answer. I dont know. I did. I dont know why. I had a great girlfriend in Michelle. Actually, I really do think that she had the potential to be more than a girlfriend. She would of been a life partner. Like Heidi would of(another ex). She had her issues, like everyone, btu I guess they really look moot. She was very nice, very not needy, very sensitive to my needs.
Why was i so unhappy that I went somewhere else...for sex none the less. I dont know.
Its gotton to the point where, i hope and pray that someday we may become friends again. I would love to see what kind of adult she has blossomed into. I get general idea's from her blog. But I still want to be her friend.
here's a problem. When and IF(and trust me, a huge if) we become friends again, do I apologize profusly like i've been dying to do over the last few years? Or if we do become friends, does that symbolize that she is over the atrocities that I have done to her, and its ok, dont bring up the past. I feel like I owe her something. a Offering of sorts. I dont know what.
I guess she dosent need people like me in her life. To her, i was a backstabber, and I wouldnt want to be with a backstabber. I really dont know. Anyways, just food for thought. Its really bedtime. Chelle, if somehow you find this, and read it, I'm sorry. I always have been. I've now died, and I'm learning to live again.
Good night.
People With People (Score:2)
#1 - While not applicable across the board, people stay in relationships till they simply find someone better. If there is no real reason to end a relationship, ie it is hindering you, or the person is just not someone you like anymore, then people are probably going to stay until something better comes along. We all like being with someone, and is there really a reason to not be with that person if there's not something better out there? And we don't tend to realize we aren't