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Noryungi's Journal: YAFIBAL 2

Journal by Noryungi

OK, if you are wondering about YAFIBAL, here is what it means: "Yet Another Fucking Idiot Blathering About Linux".

Let me put it this way: unless you know how to install and manage at least three versions of Linux, and one BSD, I don't care about your fscking opinion on Linux.

Why? Because I don't care about your fscking opinion if the only thing you know about Linux is Ubuntu, on another fscking brain-dead version of Linux for n00bies and other assorted fanbois. I want some real meat, something tangible, that proves to me that you really know what Linux is all about.

With this in mind, let us go through the valley of the shadow of dumb, with this fantastic article, titled: 24 Things we'd change about Linux. WARNING: your head is going to hurt if you read this mound of tripe - you have been warned.

So, here are the 24 bullet points in that shockingly stupid article, and my answers to pretty much each and everyone of them...

1. Fix sound once and for all

I don't care about sound. Stability and reliability are, to me, a lot more important than listening to MP3 all day long. Sound is totally unimportant on a server, and, I would argue, pretty much un-needed on a workstation as well.

Starting your article with this very point reveals who you really are: a stupid fscking n00b who is only concerned with stupid little details that only appeal to other n00b.

2. No more infighting

Yet another fscking n00b remark. No more infighting? Really?

It's called "being a geek", n00b. Geeks like to fight over seemingly little details, that can be fscking important in real life. Infighting IS important, because if you think you can do better than XYZ, and have the gonads to go and give it a try, you may end up with something better than XYZ!! Ubuntu (yuck) set off to make a better Debian than Debian, and, guess what? As much as I hate Debian and Ubuntu, I have to admit that Ubuntu is a better Debian than Debian. Infighting is good, so get over it and get out of the kitchen if you can't stand the fire!!

3. Guaranteed GUI fallback

NO, I don't want a default GUI fallback - I. WANT. A. COMMAND. LINE!!

The only thing that will always work is a command line. Give me a command line anytime, and I have a working machine. Give a fscked up X11, and all I have is a fscked up machine!!

I have to quote the next one in its entirety, it's just to good to pass:

4. Andrew says...
I know choice is good, but the whole point of a package manager is to simplify things for the user. Lets simplify it even more by standardising on one package format and making Linux apps truly Linux-wide.

NO, you stupid n00b!! I want different package managers to fit different populations! I want something simple for the moron like you, and something advanced for fscking geeks like me!! It's called "giving different people different tools, based on their knowledge"!!!

5. Backwards compatibility dependencies

Oh, boy.

[...] Did you know that there are applications for Windows 95 using pre-release versions of DirectX 1.0 that still run on Windows 7 using DirectX 11? I don't think we need to go that far, but I think it's time to do away with petty dependency problems.

Two points:

  1. Never, ever, EVER compare Linux to Windows if you want some street credibility, n00b.
  2. Yes, you can run some stupid Windows 95 sh*t on top of Windows 7 if you want to - that does not mean I want to do the same, and get all the fscking sh*t that comes with fscking Windows

6. Get Mac compatibility for games

Shut up, fscking n00b - I don't want Mac fscking compatibility for games. I don't want games on my machines - they are for work. When I want games, I boot the Wii or the GameCube, who are real game machines, not my Linux machine. Solitaire or MahJong are good enough for me on Linux, for everything else there is Tetris or Frozen Bubble.

Seriously, though, what it this sh*t? There are plenty of games on Linux, just take the time to review them, you idiot.

7. A single name for the wastebasket

There is a single, standard name for the wastebasket - it's called "rm". Look it up sometimes, you fscking idiot.

8. Easier driver install

It's called "modprobe", you imbecile. Look it up sometimes.

9. Guaranteed sleep/hibernate

It's called "shutdown" or "poweroff", you dumb sh*t. Look it up sometimes.

10. Remove Grub

Agreed! Yes, replace the pile of sh*t that is GRUB by LILO. Much better and simpler. Dumb *ss.

11. Make every task doable from the GUI

OK, let me repeat this for you: I. WANT. A. FSCKING. COMMAND. LINE!!!

GUI are stupid and slow, they don't work most of the time and they are buggy. They usually don't work very well through SSH, and they just plain take way too much CPU!!

If you want to do everything within a fscking GUI, buy a MAC! That's what they are here for: to rid the Linux world of fscking morons like you!!

12. Rolling releases

If someone wants the latest release of Gnome, why should they have to wait six months for a new distro release?

I don't want the latest release of Gnome!! I don't want the latest release of anything!! I want something stable and not completely buggy!! If I need a 'rolling release' of anything, I'll roll it myself and compile the fscking application on my fscking machine! Capice?

13. Restore the desktop in KDE

Or, even better, ditch the fscking bloated monstrosity that is KDE and replace with something like truly useful, like Fluxbox or even... "bash"!!

KDE is a piece of crap. Gnome is a piece of crap. Get over it ASAP and start using something with a bit more intelligence and design sense!

14. Improve the documentation

Oh, boy.

Man pages are great for reference, but the fact that they are there for reference as opposed to reading means they rarely have examples, they group irrelevant options with important ones, and often do little more than scare people away. If someone wants to start a project dedicated to making useful man pages, let me know!

Yes, there is one: it's called OpenBSD. Man pages are references - as far as the examples are concerned, simply try using a couple of commands and you will pretty fscking quickly understand what the sh*t is all about, you idiot!!

15. Replace Gimp

JUST GOOGLE IT, YOU IDIOT!

Here is a hint, dumbass: Tweak GIMP to be More Like Photoshop

Whoooo... That was really hard, now, wasn't it? MORON!

16. Replace OpenOffice.org

OK, I am waiting for your code... NOT! Shut up and code, you idiot!!

Oh, but I forget: you probably would not know a compiler if it turned around and bit you in the ass!!

17. Mike says...

The current Unixstyle filesystem layout is an archaic mess. It's silly that, when you install a program, it's exploded into loads of different directories all over your filesystem. Apps should be standalone, like in RISC OS, Mac OS X and many other desktop OSes. Gobo Linux has the right idea.

Your BRAIN is fscking archaic mess, you idiot! Learn how to use Linux (and UNIX) before issuing that kind of stupid declaration!!

18. Graham says...

Simplicity is best. For that reason, I think we should have a single, unified desktop, just like Windows and Mac OS X.

No, no, no NO!!! I want diversity, I want change, I want differences!!! I don't want yet another pre-formatted product marketed to DEATH!!

Again: if you want consistency and "unified interfaces", whatever that means, BUY A MAC!!

19. Less screen clutter

Learn how to use a command line, you idiot!

20. Better organised settings

Aaaaaaargh! I don't give a fscking flying fsck about Gnome, or KDE, that are bloated piles of steaming manure!!!

21. Kill off dotfiles

You poor dumb sh*t. It's the whole difference between "ls" and "ls -a". Look it up sometimes, you moron!

And, the cherry on the cake:

It's time either to switch to a Windows-like registry (with GConf being a good start), or to group them together into a Settings directory that can be maintained easily.

Yes, in other word, you want either Windows or a Mac. Guess what, you little twerp: Buy A Mac! And get the fsck out!

22. Easier closed-source installs

I don't think so. I don't want closed/proprietary software that I can't read the code on my machine. The only exception I was willing to make -- until very recently -- was the closed-source drivers for the fscking piece of wifi sh*t named Broadcom. But that's the only one.

Oh, and by the way, Ubuntu does that, just in case you did not know. Dumb*ss.

23. Standardise use of sudo

What planet are you from? Of course, "sudo" should be the standard... And guess what, idiot? That's already the case, stupid!! Just learn how to use the darned thing already and stop bothering us!!

24. No more open core

Put simply, open core means that the basic part of some software is open source, community-supported and all that good stuff. But an increasing number of businesses are looking to cash in on open source by making closed-source software that sits on top, which you pay for.

Need I say more?

By the holy name of Linus Torvalds and almighty Cthulhu, who publishes this tripe?

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

YAFIBAL

Comments Filter:
  • Been a pet peeve of mine for a long time (for all OSes, not just Linux, and OSX isn't exactly perfect on this issue, either.)

    Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
    • by Noryungi (70322)

      On the other hand, you could also say that, not matter how clean the filesystem layout is, you can trust users to mess it up pretty quickly.

      Seriously, I'd love to have a file system layout like this: "Boot", "System", "Configuration", "Documents" (or "Home"), "Software", "Services", "Database", "Misc", "Temporary", and "Remote" - that would cover pretty much 90% of all cases, but it would become pretty hard to use after a while.

      Thanks for commenting on my rant!

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