tony7531's Journal: Security Devices Hidden In Flowers To Catch Sick Call Offs

It is a widely used trick to call in sick on days when you just don't want to deal with the office or can't stand to look at your cubicle walls for second. Not any more my fellow Americans, No Sympathy Inc. has arrived.

No Sympathy Inc. is a new company specializing in security camera systems determined to catch sick faking employees in the act. The twist on their product is this, security camera systems come in the form of sympathy flowers. Video and audio recording, digital relays, temperature taking flying robots, skin swabs are the tip of this liar catching industry. "With the provisions in the Patriot Act, we were able to launch our company," said founder James Black.

"We were tired of losing so muc money to sick days when we were in the crunch of needed productivity," said a frequent customer of No Sympathy Inc. who did not want to be identified. "Come on people, how often do you really get sick enough not to go to work? Toughen up and walk it off. It's called Walking Pneumonia for a reason."

Now you may have seen Nanny Diaries with Scarlett Johannsen getting rough with a teddy bear, but that hidden security camera has nothing on No Sympathy Inc. Not even James Bond's faithful master of devices would have offered companies such a commodity. Talk about finding out who is loyal to the company.

Many customers of No Sympathy Inc. are really pleased with the product and the results. Customers are able to choose from an assortment of sympathy flower arrangements ranging from $100 to $10,000. The most popular flower arrangements usually include roses, Gerber daises, lilies, tulips, and sunflowers.

Here's how it works, once an order has been placed, No Sympathy Inc. takes one of their pre made flower arrangements and sends it to the security systems department for outfitting. Depending on the order, a security camera, microphone, temperature gauge, or Bio-swab will be installed. The security system, digital relay and microphone are typically the standard package and are installed in multiple ways. The temperature gauges and Bio-swabs on the other hand are electronic robots, disguised as part of the flowers or "having come in from the garden" with the flowers. An insider reports that flying robots dressed as ladybugs and fruit flies can do everything from check your temperature to test your white-blood cell count.

The flowers are delivered to the home of residence listed in the employee file, unless the employee is said to be at the hospital, in which case they are delivered there. The delivery person is compassionate and trust worthy, and in charge of placing the flowers in the room for optimal viewing. From there a digital relay video feed is sent directly to the employers computer screen for monitoring while other test results are sent to a nearby lab for subsequent delivery.

"Most of the time the person is really sick and they welcome the company while they're under the weather" says Nick Stauss, a delivery man". Stauss added, "Although when they're not sick, they do all sorts of strange things when I show up at their door with sympathy flowers. One lady pretended to faint right in her driveway just to try to convince me!" To date, there is no record of employees that have complained or even noted the security camera systems hidden in their sympathy flowers.

No Sympathy Inc. work is done right after the delivery. Once the information from the security camera system sympathy flowers is reviewed, it is up to the individual company to take responsive action. From information from participating companies, only reprimands have been given out, but companies who use No Sympathy Inc. services are gearing up now for future law suits.