skogs's Journal: HP's new customer service runaround

|||Customer Name and serial numbers withheld for privacy reasons|||

Customer : LCD panel cracked. Left third of screen inop. Needs replacement.
[An agent will be with you shortly.]
[You are now chatting with Sean Niel .]
Sean Niel : Welcome to HP Total Care for Notebook support. My name is Sean. Please give me a few moments while I review your issue description.

NOTE: For security reasons, PLEASE DO NOT send credit card information via chat.

Sean Niel : Hi, Customer
Sean Niel : How are you doing today?
Customer : decent I spose....you?
Sean Niel : I am doing great. thank you
Customer : good to hear
Customer : as you can probably guess...my laptop took a tumble off a table....
Sean Niel : I would require few details about your product.
Customer : model DV4T-1400....sn |||removed|||
Sean Niel : Thank you very much.
Sean Niel : Please provide the product number as well
Customer : I'm usually not quite so clumsy....some dillweed ran into me at starbucks.... Product nuber |||removed|||
Customer : *product number
Sean Niel : Thank you.
Sean Niel : May I know which operating system is currently installed on the computer? Is it Microsoft XP or VISTA?
Customer : Vista 64
Customer : it really is just the physical screen though. Machine itself operates correctly.
Sean Niel : As I understand the issue, the LCD panel of the notebook is cracked and you want to replace it. Am I correct?
Customer : yes please
Sean Niel : Customer, please note that if it a customer induce damage then there will be a repairing cost associated even if the unit is covered under the warranty.
Customer : Yes. I understand. It stinks. While I wish it would cover it, I do understand that it is virtually impossible to crack an lcd without some sort of physical trauma.
Customer : ---- Is computer repair expert for military. On assignment now, actually.
Sean Niel : Yes HP have some provision for military persons to get their notebook repaired.
Customer : If I were at home, I'd be able to replace the unit myself....but I don't think I can here. I don't have my home tool bench. I cannot ethicly use the military tools to fix a personal laptop.
Sean Niel : Alright, what you can do is that please ship your notebook to the nearest HP store then we will ship your notebook for bench.
Sean Niel : repair.
Customer : Well....I am in Knoxville Tennesee right now....
Sean Niel : Or they will be able to guide you through the process.
Sean Niel : Or you can directly send this notebook to your US address.
Customer : Well...I need to know where to send it and how much money to send along.
Customer : I'm sure you can understand googling HP and tennesee doesn't really do much good.
Sean Niel : You can send this notebook anywhere in North America then we will ship your notebook from the address that you have provided.
Sean Niel : HP service center will notify you what best can they do to solve the issue this might include the free of repairing of the notebook.
Customer : Sean....I don't know if you have my 'history' in front of you.....
Customer : but the reason I HAVE this laptop is because those fine service techs that work for HP lost my laptop for several weeks and could not find it.
Customer : They could not fix it because they could not find it.
Customer : So you can understand my hesitation to just randomly pick someplace with HP in the name and mail it in.
Customer : I don't give a crap where it goes. Just as long as once it is signed for, it is not lost again and comes back within 7 days.
Customer : I'm away from home, and this is my only civilian computer for enjoyment purposes.
Customer : I don't have a month and a half to dork around with service techs and customer support guys.
Sean Niel : Customer, could you please give me the country name you are currently residing?
Customer : Knoxville, Tennessee --- USA
Sean Niel : Okay, could you please give me the ZIP Code?
Customer : 37777
Sean Niel : Thank you for the information.
Customer : yw
Sean Niel : Thank you for being online. I appreciate your patience.
Sean Niel : Here is the link where you can find the nearest HP service center in your city.
Customer : and I appreciate you actually listening. :)
Sean Niel : Thank you.
Sean Niel : Please click on the link below to view the document.
Sean Niel : http://h20465.www2.hp.com/GPL/search.aspx?language_code=en&country_code=us&SearchType=SSP
Sean Niel : This should help you to solve the issue.
Customer : well....that certainly is a disappointing handoff.
Customer : I'm out to 1500 miles so far.
Customer : I don't suppose you could just tell me one.
Customer : or better yet, take my address and mail me a box.
Customer : nothign within 2200 miles
Customer : ...
Customer : ...
Customer : or is it just HP's new policy to make it difficult to fix things
Sean Niel : I understand how trying the situation is and I would like to assure you that your satisfaction is our primary goal.
Customer : Well Sean....I have now used that search funtion you listed out to 5000 miles. That is pretty much around the damned world.
Customer : *function
Customer : Either you need to do better at taht whole satisfaction thing, or pass me to someone who can actually DO something
Sean Niel : Customer, as I said above, we can ship your notebook from North America.
Customer : If I weren't willing to pay $$ to fix this damn thing, I would not have admitted to having let it hit the floor. Great impacts are obviously not covered under warranty. I need to know where to send it and how much it will cost.
Customer : Well that certainly is nice to know, as I am frickin IN north america.\
Customer : This isn't a third world country.
Customer : your 'tool' doesn't list anything within 5000 miles.
Sean Niel : The repairing cost would be approx $398+tx.
Sean Niel : Tax*
Customer : bullshit
Customer : I can buy a new one for that
Customer : that plastic and aluminum screen, in materials and labor costs, is about 45 dollars.
Customer : You generally have a 45-60 percent markup.
Customer : I'm a dell certified technician also. I can't believe your costs are SOOO much higher than theirs. If they were, then you couldn't sell a laptop for less than about $1800.
Sean Niel : I am sorry to say this is what the above $398+tax cost is associated with repair.
Customer : Sean, I am willing to pay. And I want to, but I"m not letting you take me like I'm some sort of sucker
Customer : what is your supervisor's phone number?
Customer : or do I need to pull out the level 2 guy's number again for something this silly? I think his name was Zebulon.
Customer : 400 bucks for a screen is criminal and you know it.
Sean Niel : HP Total Care phone support in the US call 1-800-474-6836. Business hours are 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the additional information.
Customer : what a cop out
Customer : So....you can't get me a supervisor?
Customer : somebody with some integrity?
Customer : You have definitely insulted my intelligence and made me very angry by now
Sean Niel : Customer, I have already provided you all the possible ways to get your notebook repaired.
Customer : I've been chatting with you for over 35 minutes...and the best information you can give me is that you want to charge $400 for a $60 part, and that there is and HP 800 number. You can't even give me an address within 5000 miles to mail it to.
Customer : you haven't provided me anything
Customer : I copy and pasted the entire text so far into a word document that I fully intend to put on a few message boards.
Sean Niel : I am really sorry Customer.
Customer : You really, honestly, are incapable of hollering down the hall, or standing up, and asking for your supervisor.....and you are also totally incapable of telling me an address to mail it to....and also incapable of issueing me a case number or RMA #.....
Customer : wow
Customer : and you told me you were having a good day
Sean Niel : Please use this activity ID: |||removed||| as a reference.
Customer : thank you
Sean Niel : Once you close the chat you would get an option to save or exit. At that time you could click on the save option and save the entire chat transcript.
Customer : however, as an 'activity ID'....I don't think that means much. I'm not new to this process, I do it professionaly (with 'gold support') all the time.
Customer : you should be embarrassed
Sean Niel : Customer, using this activity id you can contact us again if you need further assitance.
Sean Niel : Are you with me? Please tell me if you are able to view my messages?
Customer : yes
Sean Niel : I sincerely appreciate your willingness and patience to work with me on this issue.
Sean Niel : Thank you for your valuable time and patience.
Customer : I am just totally blown away by your lack of abilities.
Customer : Usually I go on the chat....list a serial number and other id.....
Customer : say what is wrong with it
Customer : tell them whether or not I have time to take care of it myself or whether they should send an on-site tech over.....
Customer : and wait for a bill for the thigns that are out of warranty
Customer : It is a 10 minute process
Customer : And I don't usually get quoted outrageous prices
Sean Niel : This is the HP policy.
Customer : must be new
Customer : I didn't know HP policy was to hide addresses and waste people and employee time
Customer : you want to forward me a copy of that policy memo?
Sean Niel : We apologize for the inconvenience.
Customer : I'm not sure you'd pass the Touring test. :)
Customer : excuse me....Turing test
Sean Niel : Customer, is there anything else I can help you with?
Customer : I don't know...is there? You haven't helped me at all yet.
Sean Niel : I am just following the HP policies.
Sean Niel : Thank you for contacting HP Total Care Real-Time chat support. If you need further assistance, please contact us again at:
http://www.hp.com/support/chat
Chat support is available 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week.
For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare

Sean Niel : I will now close our Chat session. Please contact us if you have any additional questions or if you require further clarification.