Journal C0LDFusion's Journal: Theater Fucks 1
HOLY SHIT. If you've been to a movie theater in the last three years, you'll know what I'm about to talk about. If not, you don't matter. Going to a movie theater blows, and heres why:
1) Buying your Tickets- Wait 20 minutes in line and miss your movie time, then it's $18 for you and your partner. $18? For me, that's a fucking Night on the Town.
2) Refreshments- Wait ANOTHER 20 minutes in line. $5 will get you a drink that is half the size of a Dixie Cup, so you pay $20 for two drinks that are reasonable (you'd pay $2 tops for them at 7-11) You have now paid out $38. Wish you went to Outback, don't you?
3) Seating- You usually can find a seat easily enough, but there is a federal law that makes it a felony to attempt to have a romantic evening unless there's a really tall and really fat guy blocking your view of the screen. The theater, ever helpful, will send out a complementary tall-and-fat dude to block the screen to ensure compliance. But the deals don't stop there. They even authorized him to add the "laugh out loud even during the touching scenes to ruin the mood" service for free! How nice.
4) ADS- After charging $38 for this experience, they now show TV ads to you. NOT PREVIEWS. These are before the previews, mind you. These are those ads for the US Army, and that Coca-Cola "Crappy-Ass Filmmaker Award"-winning film. They show this ticket-taker guy being all retarded and picked on, and then they act like because he blocks a bit of mustard from hitting this dense hot chick, that it's going to make her want to bang him. Yeah, right. And there's no doubt they recieved some form of monetary compensation off of this exploitation, but it never filters down to me, I guess...or maybe it does. If they didn't show the ads, it'd probably cost me $50 or something.
Stupid theater shit. Maybe if the movies didn't suck so much, they'd get more people and could lower prices, but I doubt they'd do it, no matter how much money they make.
1) Buying your Tickets- Wait 20 minutes in line and miss your movie time, then it's $18 for you and your partner. $18? For me, that's a fucking Night on the Town.
2) Refreshments- Wait ANOTHER 20 minutes in line. $5 will get you a drink that is half the size of a Dixie Cup, so you pay $20 for two drinks that are reasonable (you'd pay $2 tops for them at 7-11) You have now paid out $38. Wish you went to Outback, don't you?
3) Seating- You usually can find a seat easily enough, but there is a federal law that makes it a felony to attempt to have a romantic evening unless there's a really tall and really fat guy blocking your view of the screen. The theater, ever helpful, will send out a complementary tall-and-fat dude to block the screen to ensure compliance. But the deals don't stop there. They even authorized him to add the "laugh out loud even during the touching scenes to ruin the mood" service for free! How nice.
4) ADS- After charging $38 for this experience, they now show TV ads to you. NOT PREVIEWS. These are before the previews, mind you. These are those ads for the US Army, and that Coca-Cola "Crappy-Ass Filmmaker Award"-winning film. They show this ticket-taker guy being all retarded and picked on, and then they act like because he blocks a bit of mustard from hitting this dense hot chick, that it's going to make her want to bang him. Yeah, right. And there's no doubt they recieved some form of monetary compensation off of this exploitation, but it never filters down to me, I guess...or maybe it does. If they didn't show the ads, it'd probably cost me $50 or something.
Stupid theater shit. Maybe if the movies didn't suck so much, they'd get more people and could lower prices, but I doubt they'd do it, no matter how much money they make.
small town theatres (Score:1)
These small theatres are usually locally owned and operated, so they're not the stereotypical Dickenson Theatre where everything costs you out the ass.
Anyway, yeah. i agree, big theatres suck. Out here i'm used to driving 60+ miles per day, and if i'm out on a date, it's not unusual to log 200-300 miles of driving. I bet most city-folk won't go that far for a movie