Journal queenofthe1ring's Journal: moving the closing date? 13
In the latest episode of "buying a house will be the death of me.... literally."
Sellers want to move the closing date from July 15th to June 30th, obviously to their benefit. No obvious benefit to us, considering we are already paid to August 4th, which is the end of our lease. Thus far, they haven't accepted all of our repairs, and won't even if we make it a stipulation of closing early.
Husband already has verbal agreement with their realtor (who went through our mortgage officer to contact us about this, since our realtor is in Mexico, instead of contacting our realtor's partner). Husband went directly to their realtor to make the deal, instead of going through our realtor's partner.
This leaves the queen grumpy, because she wasn't really taken into consideration. Secondly I talked to my mom today, who gave us more bargaining ideas, but... yeah, bargaining has been done. Going to have to try to figure out some way to do damage control on this.
So what now? I don't know. Still too raw.
Do I understand correctly? (Score:2)
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Um, pretty much yeah. At least that is the way I feel about it too.
The problem is that 1) he was never very concerned about the repairs, since all of them are essentially minor (but together they are a lot, in my mind) and 2) he wanted to move in early anyways, so I guess that he doesn't really see things the way you and I (and my mom, and our realtor's partner) are seeing them.
They had 4 days to tell us in writing what repairs they were going to do. Apparently they put in an unsigned list to the
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Yeah, talking to their real estate agent directly doesn't sound good at all; they need to be talking to your agent (or agent from your agent's company). They make so much money off commission they damn well better be around to deal with your house. Remember, their agent has no desire to help you whatsoever, now matter how friendly they may appear to be. Period.
And yeah, buying a house is a pain in the ass. Always. Unless you have a bazillion dollars and can pay cash for it :-D
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Note to self: find job that pays a bazillion dollars before buying next house. Although at this point I might be content to stay in this house, even though I don't particularly like it, just so I don't have to do this again.
I am going to assume that you think I'm blowing this out of proportion. You aren't wrong. I know I am making a mountain out of what is just a large looking foothill. I guess what pisses me off the most is how excluded I feel from the decision. I am feeling like I am just along
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No I don't think you are blowing it out of proportion; after having been through three different house buying scenarios, I would have told the sellers to go wank off and I'd see them on the date we agreed on already. I can say that once it is all said and done and you are moved in, everyone should be happier and much less stressed out :-)
p.s. Don't hold a grudge; talk to the hubby dumbass and let him know how you feel. Phrase it nicely, because he is a creature from another planet (when you don't involve me
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Sorry if I sounded accusatory. I've pretty much been in panic mode for an entire week now. Well, probably more than that even.
The talk actually did not go well. At this point I'm not holding a grudge (and I hope that talking with the realtor to figure out what is going on doesn't inspire one), but I am afraid that he might be. I didn't realize that when I talked to the realtor's partner and told her I wasn't ready to agree to sign anything until I saw something from them in writing that I had undid
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What nizo said. It's not fair to either you or him to not discuss it ASAP. Not to you, because you don't get what you should out of the marriage. Not to him, because you deny him to opportunity for positive change and growth. Plus, he's going to be really shocked when you explode all over him about it in two or five or ten years.
Pay attention to the behavior patterns - what you can accept, and what has to change. The sooner the better, particularly if kids are in the future. That's why I ended up divo
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The talk went really badly. We've since made up though. At this point it is questionable which one of us is more likely to explode unexpectedly on the other. I guess it depends on if we're able to get everything worked out to where we're both happy with the deal.
How do you get someone to change a behaviour pattern that they don't really think is a problem?
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How do you get someone to change a behaviour pattern that they don't really think is a problem?
The short answer: you don't. In order for a person to change a behavior pattern, they have to want to change it. And it has to be important to them, not just 'if you say so', because changing ingrained patterns is hard.
If it is a problem for you, as an individual, then it is a problem for you as a couple. In a marriage, or at least in the sort of marriage that I consider worth having, you have to go from maki
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Well, when I talked to the realtor today, she told me that verbal agreements weren't really legally binding, but that if they've already made the arrangements, it would still be to our best advantage (legally) to go along with it.
First we would have to prove that they were intentionally doing this. They are playing it off as a miscommunication and misunderstanding problem. Which I guess it could be, but we'll have to see what their realtor has to say once ours is able to get ahold of her.
I think
Um. (Score:2)
Going around both you and the realtor is a huge, huge red flag to me. You need to talk to him about this now. I don't think that you are blowing this out of proportion at all. He essentially cut you out of a huge decision making process, and also showed a complete lack of consideration for the negotiation process, which put both of you guys and your current realtor at a disadvantage.
All so that he could have things his way right. this. second.