sillypixie's Journal: don't get it

You know, I'm trying to be a better wife. I guess I just have to accept the Mars/Venus thing.

My husband is really, really susceptible to stress. His health tanks when he's stressed, he just can't handle it. This winter break, my sled wouldn't start (right after we took the damn thing in for maintenance due to a recall). Hubby spent 2 days doing everything he could think of, and was generally angry and miserable, refused to go snowmobiling himself, and so forth. We took it in, they fixed it -- and the first ride out, the nut came off the A-arm of my right ski. The a-arm is what keeps the ski pointed forward - the only other piece connected to the ski is the main strut, which is on a ball-joint. Had the a-arm separated while I was moving at speed, the ski could have jacknifed, and well - that would have been bad.

Chances are, the snowmobile shop forgot to tighten the nuts after they did the recall work. My hubby is absolutely determined to sue the shop.

Why? Why why why why? Why take on that stress. Why not just be happy that all is well that ends well and move on?

I can't say that though. If I encourage him to drop it, he will accuse me of siding against him, that I don't support him.

Sigh. I'm not very good at remaining silent on things like this. I can only hope that he will tire of this whole plan and give it up. My dog walker thinks that this is about control -- he can't control so many things that happen to him - but dammit, he's going to control this one thing, make these people pay if it kills him...

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Well

[SuiteSisterMary]

Sure, it could be the control thing. Gods know I've felt that way before.

But maybe, just maybe, it's because through (probably) sheer carelessness or ignorance, some idiot farktard damn near killed his beloved wife. And unfortunately, in this day and age, he can't simply thunder over on a charger, demand satisfaction, and cleave the lout in twain with a mighty swing.

But he can do the modern equivalent. And maybe, just maybe, by getting said ignornat farktard tuned up, save somebody else from feeling

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[Degrees]

I can see this. I'm an advocate for the philosophy Share The Pain. And it fits here too, because the dummies did nearly kill someone. Unless I'm wrong, the whole fun of snowmobiles is running them around in the wilderness at high speed, no?

Carelessness in mechanical work here is a recipe for disaster far worse than a bad brake job in town. At least in town, 911 has a twenty minute response time. Even if you car locks up at 60 miles an hour, you don't hurtle over the hood and then get run over by the vehicl

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[SuiteSisterMary]

Exactly. If some farktard's desire to cut corners and shave two minutes off of his busy day resulted in, say, my wife being late to work the next day, eh. Whatever; he had a bad day, no real harm, no real foul.

Some idiot farktard can't be bothered to do the most elementary of safety checks after working on a piece of equipment that is absolutely critical to the safe functioning of a device that is intended to transport my wife's unsecured body at 60 kph in, by definition, a remote area, filled with thin

Why indeed...

[nacturation]

What exactly would be sued for? Sounds like a simple mistake which warrants talking to the shop. And if you approach it right and let them save face, they might even throw in a free tune-up for your troubles... if you still trust their work, of course. If you did sue, regardless of whether or not you manage somehow to prove that damages were caused, it's going to not only cost a lot of time and money but then where are you going to take your snowmobile for repairs in the future? "Hi, it's us. Remember?

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[sulli]

I can understand getting mad, of course, but a lawsuit seems awfully excessive. Maybe *threaten* a lawsuit in order to get them to fix the problem and give you a free tune up. I understand however, I definitely prefer to go the low stress route, most of the time. Then again, cut off my voice mail like AT&T did yesterday and there will be hell to pay!!!

You shouldn't have to stay quiet.

[Some Woman]

Why is he so seemingly hostile toward your input? Does he feel like you're judging him?

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[johndiii]

Yes, take advice on whose background to trust from an Anonymous Coward.

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[sillypixie]

I think he interprets my advice that it isn't worth it to mean that I think he's stupid or wrong to feel the way he does. That's just a guess - it's the only thing that makes sense to me. Perhaps he feels like I want to the thinking for both of us.

Either way, I'm not the type to make supportive noises and keep my mouth shut. Maybe I need to learn.

Sigh...

Damages?

[johndiii]

I am no lawyer, but in most cases like this, you have to have some kind of damages before you can sue. I suppose that you might recover the value of the lost nut, but it seems a little pointless. Perhaps an injunction forbidding them to forget to tighten that particular nut on the sleds they service? :-) And that would be if he could prove that particular shop did in fact leave the nut loose.

Since that is fairly common knowledge, he's likely aware of it on some level. And given the way that he is handli

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[sillypixie]

I don't know what to do about the 'if you're not with me you're against me' mentality. Perhaps I need to change my patterns around these situations, to somehow try to be more sympathetic to his angst. I'd be willing to do it, if I can find a reasonable approach that still can communicate my honest wishes.

As the last few days go past, I think he's coming to grips with the fact that he's not going to get far -- although he's still trying to get the vendors to talk, he hasn't consulted a lawyer. As such, I