Why is pussy so expensive?

Journal Profane MuthaFucka's Journal: Why is pussy so expensive? 7

Journal by Profane MuthaFucka on Friday February 09, 2007 @03:54PM

I've had this theory of economics for a long time which says that women are keeping the price of pussy artificially high. There's approximately one pussy for every two people, but there's not much of a shortage, because a pussy pairs up with a pecker to pruduce a fully functional pleasure machine.

Actually, there should be a numerical mis-match, but it would be that there is much less cock available than pussy, since men are homosexual more often than women. And each homosexual pairing takes two cocks out of circulation. There should be an excess of pussy.

And consider that it's not the ownership of pussy, but the actual usage of pussy that is desired. Men use their cocks, for their own pleasure mostly when there's no pussy pairing to be found, quite a lot. That means that the number of hours of cock that are available is even reduced by the act of jacking off. Women masturbate much less frequently, so measured in pussy-hours, the amount of pussy surplus *should* be astronomical!

But, as you know, pussy is *scarce*. There's almost no cheap pussy around at all, and for some people there's never going to be any pussy at all. This makes no sense, even if you account for looks. Ugly men should be able to find ugly women, and there would be pussy for them too.

Gentlemen, the women are keeping the price of pussy artificially high! I don't know how they do this, or why exactly, just that they are doing it. What are we going to do about it? One suggestion would be to spark a price war. We men must reduce the available number of cock-hours even more. That means that we men must use more of the available cock-hours ourselves, and that means more masturbation.

Ideally, the result of this program will mean that women will go crazy trying to get cock, instead of men going crazy trying to get pussy. The most recent example of this is the awesome case of the Lisa Nowak. Now, that's some expensive pussy right there. She's blonde, was once good looking, probably could be again with some surgery, and she's an astronaut too.

But what was she doing? She was trying to kill people just to get at the cock! And not only that. She was married (though separated - I'll treat that as a technicality). That means that she already *had* use of a cock. She was going to fight someone to get a *spare* cock. That's so beautiful, and my brothers, that is the way it should be.

But there's another factor too. There's more men than women in NASA, so it's not like there was a shortage of cocks. Lisa Nowak went ape-shit, ready to kill for some cock, even though there were plenty of zero-G peckers literally floating all around her!

We must try to book some NASA astronauts as consultants, so they can teach us their ways. Obviously NASA has some incredible technolgy, and this incident shows that they are way ahead of me in thinking about and actually researching solutions to this intolerable situation with needlessly expensive pussy.

UPDATE:

It has come to my attention that some people think that pussy is so expensive because the demand for pussy is far higher than the demand for cock. Their argument is that the demand for pussy is so high, that men will actually masturbate when there is no pussy available. In other words, cock can be at least a partial substitute for pussy when no pussy is available, or is too expensive.

I think this is an example of a "blame the victim" mentality. Men are not the cause of this pussy shortage, nor are we to blame for our suffering from the scarcity of this essential commodity.

It's fair to point out that cock is not actually a substitute for pussy at all. To understand this, consider that the few men who actually do have enough pussy (such as polygamists) still masturbate. i.e. the cock is in addition to the pussy, not in place of the pussy.

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