Journal GMontag's Journal: Hybrid My Ass! A Fisking of Eve Fairbanks' 'Mr. Right' 7
Hybrid My Ass! A Fisking of Eve Fairbanks' 'Mr. Right' free copy, free copy and another free copy
The beginning of this is quite minor, but it gets into important items (like TOU) then you get to the 'hybrid' attribution which is serious. Also, I was NEVER told that this "date" was for an article and was never told that I would be in an article. An important note is the racist talk that Eve Fairbanks initiated. I held off for a long time to properly write about it and the details are at the link.
Comments can be made on the article at The New Republic, registration required.
Believe-it-or-not, this is a shorter version of She was Working, I Thought I was on a Date (VERY LONG) and the hydrogen powered Jeep story is key to both.
Well, let's start before the article at the BS header (oh, whatever do those broadsheet people call it?)
SWF seeks friendship--possibly more--with adventurous, nonsmoking lover of William F. Buckley
From 'Shooter's' profile:
Smoking: Regularly ("like a freight train" was not an option)
I am a Buckley fan as anybody can see from my Slashdot Journal, Eve Fairbanks has met him, but did not sound like she read a word of his work (see below).
My first date was a martini on a sunny Friday after work. From his personal ad, I knew that Guns & Ammo was one of his favorite magazines,
In reality, 'Shooter's' profile: National Review, Guns & Ammo, The Economist, Wired.
Writer's note: I was actually reading MOPAR magazines exclusively for this project when we made contact. A small, easy to miss, mention of that was made on the "date" too. Oh, we did have martinis.
that he loved stock-car racing,
I 'like' NASCAR, but her wording is not bad here.
and that a snapshot of him in a CLUB G'ITMO T-shirt is posted on Rush Limbaugh's website.
This was not known to her before our "date" as I did not know of it until a week or so after and I did not include it in profile until I stopped making new dates for her to postpone. She browsed my profile right before publication and probably added this then. BTW, I look like Jello Biafra in an orange shirt in that picture. Side note: it helped some folks recognize me as they had been freshly spammed by me about the picture discovery.
That morning, I rifled through my closet, unsure what to wear: Should I go Dr. Laura demure, with a church-social turtleneck and pearls?
Maybe if you are 70, but you are 22.
Or choose a plunging neckline and a tube skirt, in that Ann Coulter vixen style?
That would have been best, the Ann Coulter look. Actually, the Ann Coulter look may have given me a coronary as Eve is quite attractive.
Taking a wild guess, I selected a pinstripe suit, a pink shirt, and cowboy boots. I hadn't a clue--at least, not yet--as to what look would most appeal to an authentic conservative man.
Sounds like she is expecting another species and that is not quite what she wore. She selected and wore the "Billie-Jean King" outfit described in this article and in the e-mail below. Not a skirted suit, a pants suit, but she was still hot in that:
From: Eve ######
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Sunday
Sent: 2006-05-19 11:03:51Yes -- I'll try to be at the Capital Grille a bit before 6:30, since I may have to dash out at 8. I'll try to send a pic sometime today, but can't promise -- you'll just have to take my word that I'm no ogre!
:) You should be able to recognize me easily: I'm petite with curly red-brown hair, and I'm wearing a casual black pinstripe suit with a magenta top. See you this evening!
From some friends of mine on "both teams" as it were, and both sexes, the vast majority have suggested that the outfit she wore is perfect for a great looking gal headed to Friday night Happy Hour at Phase 1 or Club Fuego or a Saturday night at Apex. Add another to the list sharing this opinion: A regular who saw us together on the "date".
So much for the pink top, but she had a strict timeline to leave on the Green line headed North from Archives/Navy Memorial at 8:00 PM, as if she were headed to Shaw.
Long before she left work she got this:
Eve,
Sounds great.
I am wearing a white buttondown with some blue lettering, khakis, not sure if I will have on western boots by then or not. Pretty sure I look like my pictures, might have dropped a couple of pounds since then.
Your outfit sounds very nice
I will be there whenever the METRO dumps me off and I can hike a couple of blocks. Should be a bit before 6:30 for me too. I think it is at 601 Penn. NW, but double check if you can.
So much for the boot surprise . .
About a month ago, I signed up for ConservativeMatch, one of the biggest conservative dating services on the Web.
Nice try. She was commissioned to write an article about the site, she did not just "happen upon" us, with a story springing-forth from it. She was sent to write an article about it and all of her "dates" were intended for research material from the beginning.
". . . very funny and well done -- so much so that I thought, all the
way through "neighboring puppet-states," that you were for real!
I've a more general note for you, as well. I've really appreciated your
notes on my Examiner columns and stupid editor, and, as I already said,
I sincerely enjoyed going out with you at Capital Grille. I think you're
a stand-up man, and a lot of fun. But I don't think it's a good idea for
us to keep in touch, given the circumstances in which I signed up for
the site -- I was commissioned by the editors of my magazine to write a
story on it. So as I think about that, I now don't feel right keeping in
touch, though I wish it were otherwise.Nevertheless: please do know that I was never pretending to be someone
or something other than who I am when I went out and chatted with you.
Take care of yourself, . .., and I wish you the best. "
In her article, she mentions the Terms of Use.
In its terms of use, I was forbidden to espouse the identity "gay."
That would be in the following TOU paragraph:
2.2 As a condition to use this service you acknowledge that you will not use this service to contact other members for the purpose of homosexual relationships, activities or activism. Openly espousing in a profile as "gay" or any word that delineates homosexuality is also forbidden.
And she states this as if Lesbian dating sites do not prohibit men.
Perhaps, while focusing on the gay paragraph, Eve missed the next paragraph:
2.3As a condition to use this service you agree that your purpose in using this service is for meeting other conservative singles to date, create friendships or communicate with. In good faith you must consider yourself a conservative and typically represent yourself as such when expressing your ideological views. Furthermore you understand the term "conservative" in the context of this service to mean "someone who embraces values typically associated with political parties or ideologies such as Republicans, Libertarians, Constitutionalists, 'Reagan Democrats' or similar parties from other countries."
I do not see a caluse for "Left-wing reporters jerking guys around for over a month just to write another Stephen Glass Conservatives in the Mist article is just fine too", but I just went to a State school as you can see from my not knowing if that comma placement was correct..
Now, if she had just happened across me in the course of writing an article, that would be fine, but I was a unknowing subject of the article from the beginning. I was NEVER told that I was a subject of the article and her only motivation to meet me, and I assume the others, was to write an article.
With a culture that is often hostile to conservative values and to the people who hold to them," ConservativeMatch's home page proclaims, "our goal is to provide an alternative resource." To wit, directing my browser there, I discovered personal ads; political articles; discussion forums (such as "Liberals Need Not Apply"); and a calendar of conservative events. But, as far as the ideological quality of the users within, ConservativeMatch guaranteed me only one thing: "Sweethearts not bleeding hearts."
So Eve Fairbanks decides to add to the hostility.
For those of us who rarely attend Church, these websites are the places where we go to meet others of our leanings. Eve Fairbanks should know that the first place to meet Conservatives is in a place of Worship as her first photo on Google Images is in her choir uniform. Note: very bad but recognizable picture there, in reality very pretty and looks a lot more like Kari Byron. The second picture on Google Images is proof that she has worn a dress. Better face image here.
I was asked to agree, disagree, or declare uncertainty with a set of 14 statements testing my core "beliefs and values"--things like "Less government is generally better for society" and "Prayer should be permitted in public schools." This would be prominently displayed on my profile, providing a kind of quick, no-nonsense scorecard for my conservative purity. I filled it out in haste and tried to go on, but the page reloaded and scolded me: "Sex outside of marriage is immoral is a required field."
Yes, "Sex outside of marriage is immoral is a required field." and she disagreed with the premise, see below.
Her actual answers and mine (possible answers are Agree, Disagree and Unsure):
Eve: Less government is generally better for society, I agree
Shooter: Less government is generally better for society; I agree
Eve: Prayer should be permitted in public schools, I disagree
Shooter: Prayer should be permitted in public schools, I agree
(as long as there are English tests there will be prayer in public schools not stated in profile)
Eve: Sex outside of marriage is immoral, I disagree
Shooter: Sex outside of marriage is immoral, I disagree (yea baby!)
Eve: Abortion is immoral and should be illegal, I agree
Shooter: Abortion is immoral and should be illegal, I agree
Eve: Euthanasia is immoral and should be illegal, I agree
Shooter: Euthanasia is immoral and should be illegal, I agree
Others can examine my profile and her writings to determine who was honest. She said repeatedly in e-mail that she did not misrepresent herself to me. Let's see if her Leftist friends agree that these are her positions.
I began to realize that ConservativeMatch often resembles a parallel world, one that reflects what some idealistically minded conservatives might wish the real world could be: everyone's values, clearly delineated on a scorecard, hanging around their necks.
As if no other type of dating site does the same thing with different questions.
First date, 'Shooter', the libertarian who usually votes Republican:
Comments on my political philosophy: Government is something that is done to us.
Writer's note: shout out to my undergrad Political Science instructor who asked me if I believed that on a paper and I said YES.
Eve -- Comments on my beliefs and values: none
Shooter -- Comments on my beliefs and values: I do not believe that the government should have any role in marriage. I do not think that homosexual acts are immoral, it is just the male acts that I can do without. Capital punishment: once the cuffs are on the suspect had better not be a threat to anybody any more. The government has enough power already and they don't need to have power over life and death after the emergency has passed. It is pathetic that the places where people need to carry a concealed weapon for personal protection are also the places where it is illegal. The Mt. Vernon trail comes to mind, it is right outside my window. DC is another place that comes to mind. It is on the horizon outside my window. Please quit taxing the hell out of me? See, I asked nice, once . .
On to other things
I met my first date, the Guns & Ammo lover, at a downtown grill, the kind of mass-manufactured, mahogany-toned place that flogs dry-aged steaks, cigars, and 800 labels' worth of wine.
From: Eve ######
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Very nice
Sent: 2006-05-12 15:54:17
Is Tennessee where you grew up? Let's do next Sunday, 21 May. I'll be in touch about a bar -- I've never been to the bar at Capital Grille, but it's probably high-quality.
Amid the high-gloss crowd, Shooter stood out like a bird who'd accidentally flown into the wrong habitat:
Yea, that wrong habitat would be 44 year old guy meeting the only 22 year-old woman on earth without a picture (something else that proved false). The last time I had been on a date with a 22 year-old woman was 24 years prior, the mother of my 22 year-old son.
I spotted him perched awkwardly on a stool, clad in an oversized white polo with his company's logo on the breast.
Um, I do not own one of those (but have asked for one from TNR), it was a properly fitting white button-down (see earlier e-mail) with blue lettering of a firm I have never worked for. (ex-girlfriend gave it to me and asks I wear it for good luck)
Perhaps if I wore this t-shirt I would have been described as a major ACLU supporter or employee.
As I approached, he saw my cowboy boots and proudly tugged up his pants cuffs to reveal big black stompers of his own. We matched!
Seems her opening remarks about "ethnic" neighborhoods and non-white cobblers got lost in an edit, as did my questioning her twice as to the relevancy of race in either topic before she stopped including race in every sentence.
The boots were a suede varient by Tony Llama and were "bark" i.e., tan, but may have touched the cuff of the khakis and Eve was not wearing western boots, they were brown fashion boots with a black suit. See earlier mail about the "surprise" match.
Our boots were just the beginning of a giddy game of conservative free association. Shooter said he liked William F. Buckley, and I revealed I'd met Buckley when he was a guest in one of my college seminars. "Really!" Shooter whistled.
Note from little 42 year old sister: "Does he know how to whistle?" Consult your thesaurus for whatever reaction the courtesan meant to fabricate here.
Shooter served Christopher Hitchens. I returned with William Kristol. It was like going out with a stranger and realizing that, by some great coincidence, he already knows some of your family: You feel relieved and excited; the conversation flows freely. Except, on this date, our mutual family was Buckley, Fred Barnes, and G. Gordon Liddy.
Was nice that she met some of these folks, but she did not know anything about what they (the ones I read) had written, to the point of Buckley's historical novels to Hitchen's being anti-abortion. Allegedly she knew Kristol because she said that she is soon to work at The Weekly Standard, they are supposed to be family friends and I refrained from telling her that I think that publication blows (serious opinion).
Did not sound like she knew anything about Liddy nor any of his frequent guests, like Dr. Thomas Sowell. Some people noted that as another hint for recognizing me.
When he moved to Washington from his native Tennessee, he went to a Kinko's and found the service there much ruder than in copy shops back home--a sure signal he'd entered liberal territory.
At that moment, the story felt meaningful. I've always hated Kinko's, but I thought my hate was purely existential, like the feelings people have about the DMV. I had never before considered that my experience at Kinko's had a political implication.
Not quite. I never said Kinko's was rude, I said they were arrogant and snotty in DC. That can be very subjective to the listener. Not a direct political statement either, just s societal statement. Then again, someone who does not know our ages are emblazoned below where our pictures are supposed to be may think this. Another point that helped some friends recognize me, being from Tennessee.
Also, we continued trying to make another date for two weeks before I stopped asking, with her still trying to suggest alternate days. I admit leaving the door open to her calling when she could get together and she never called. She didn't call to cancel and reschedule several dates either, unless I e-mailed and asked her if she was showing up. So, the reporter kept wasting my time, for what end I do not know, it certainly was not to date.
A subversive note or two of liberalism is a feature of many profiles on ConservativeMatch-- and of everyone I went on dates with. Shooter told me he drives a hybrid car .
Hybrid my ass! Why not just call me an ice dancer or Jeff Gordon fan? I never told that young Liberal Arts graduate that at all. She is either of the same mind as a forest raping orchid thief and fell for the Hydrogen Powered Jeep story (after a lengthy explanation of it's being just a story) OR she fabricated something else for her paragraph.
There is a good comment about that here and more here.
For something factual to fit that BS paragraph just go through my Journal (that she had a link to the day after the "date"): admits to dating black women, does not hate gays (except for Jeff Gordon) nor has he ever dragged one behind his vehicle, supports women's interpritave dance theater, loves porn, advocates less drug regulation, does not live in a trailer, does not reload his shotgun shells, does not need snakes for Church, does not even hunt, he is in Finance and has never been accused of fraud (over $500), AMAZINGLY HE READS, has not been baby seal hunting yet, neither of his shotguns are American made, he has a CFP yet does not own a pistol, not a fan of the cops etc.
Perhaps something from the music I like straight from my profile on the dating site?
Musicians: The Donnas, The Friggs, Vixen, Rage Against the Machine, ELO, The Who, Rolling Stones, Clapton, Lenny Kravitz, The Clash, The Ramones, Luscious Jackson
How about some details from actually meeting me: ordered a gin martini instead of moonshine, seems to possess all of his teeth, did not chew tobacco the entire date, smoked package cigarettes rather than rolling his own, has a solid college class ring not an adjustable one, wears a fine wristwatch instead of a pocket watch from Wal-Mart, no visible swastika tattoos, no knife scars, does not even shave his head, did not suggest square-dancing for a second date, belt buckle was smaller than his head, etc.
No hint to a Leftist can be served without a blunt object . .
One poster does yoga, explaining that it's "not as weird as I thought it would be," and another reads Outside magazine, even though "it's a liberal, hippy [sic] publication."
The Outside quote was from the profile of a 33 year old woman who's profile was never browsed by anybody owning up to being a 22 year old female.
For my last date, I planned to meet a young Southern lawyer--a man who claims his interests include dueling and buffalo meat--at a funky bourbon bar. We met on a hot Sunday evening and sat outside on a claustrophobic patio. All around us, skinny, bespectacled hipsters were draped idly over their chairs, like sloths in a zoo exhibit. As we chatted, Bourbon and I seemed to become aware that, unlike my other dates, each of us seemed a little too similar to the people at the next table for comfort. "How is it for you," he asked pointedly, "being a conservative in Washington?"
"How come you don't have a Southern accent?" I retorted.
I suspect this is The New Republic bringing back recent Georgetown Law graduate (another place that Al Gore flunked out of) Stephen Glass.
Eve Fairbanks also writes for The Examiner
Oh, and to all of my goofy friends who keep saying "she liked you more", would you freaking pay attention? She wrote more words but she was working, I was the one on a date! UGH!
Yep, I am pretty much done with this topic. If my friends can't figure out what was wrong with the article by now, oh well, I am not doing your homework for you any more.
Montag, aka, Shooter
Hmmm... (Score:2)
Re:Hmmm... (Score:2)
Re:Updated some of my nasty language here. (Score:2)