Journal FortKnox's Journal: To Railgunner 19
I hate it when people don't enable comments, so I have to make a whole JE post just to reply.
I'm replying to this entry (BTW - if you enable comments, I'll remove this JE, then post it as a comment).
One thing I can tell you as a father of both a son and daughter is that boys bond with their mothers, and girls bond with their fathers. Yeah, you expect to be the one that's detached from the situation. Maybe you'll end up with a tomboy because you don't do the girly things. The one that will stand as far away from the pink clothes as possible. You probably have younger sisters and don't want anything to do with them. But when that child is born and gets old enough to interact with you, there isn't a single thing she will do wrong in your eyes. You will come back to that JE and laugh at how you thought it was going to be. Cause every single parent you meet will be sure to tell you "I expected things to change a little. I never expected everything in my life to change as much as it did."
Just wait and see....
I'm replying to this entry (BTW - if you enable comments, I'll remove this JE, then post it as a comment).
One thing I can tell you as a father of both a son and daughter is that boys bond with their mothers, and girls bond with their fathers. Yeah, you expect to be the one that's detached from the situation. Maybe you'll end up with a tomboy because you don't do the girly things. The one that will stand as far away from the pink clothes as possible. You probably have younger sisters and don't want anything to do with them. But when that child is born and gets old enough to interact with you, there isn't a single thing she will do wrong in your eyes. You will come back to that JE and laugh at how you thought it was going to be. Cause every single parent you meet will be sure to tell you "I expected things to change a little. I never expected everything in my life to change as much as it did."
Just wait and see....
Re: (Score:2)
Re:I thought that was an interesting entry, too (Score:2)
Normal people don't think SIDS would be OK. Monsters do.
Normal people, when asked to build a crib, don't imagine a coffin. Monsters do.
I'm not normal right now.
But I am smart enough to realize I need help, and that I'm going to get it.
FK brings up a little sister. I have a sister, and I despise her.
So that's why I won't be posting very often in the short term future.
For the first time in my life, I'm afraid of myself.
Re:I thought that was an interesting entry, too (Score:2)
Re:I thought that was an interesting entry, too (Score:2)
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Re:I thought that was an interesting entry, too (Score:2)
Seriously, Railgunner, I question the sanity of anyone who is not at least ambivalent about having any child. It changes your life forever in ways that you cannot comprehend until it happens to you.
Although my wife and I agreed to have a child, I really wasn't that interested in it. I was interested in a clinical sense, and in my wife's health through the pregnancy, but it seemed sort of unreal to me. And I'll be honest, I wasn't sure how I'd deal with a girl being born, either. I did wind up having a
Re:I thought that was an interesting entry, too (Score:2)
That's the only important thing you've written, right there. You recognize that something's not right, so the next step is getting some help about it. Whether spiritual, familial, psychological, or whatever, get some help.
My wife and I had twins a few years back, and when those twins were a mere 3 months old, we found out (surprise!) that #3 was on the way. After a few rounds of "WTF are we gonna do???", we discovered that we would make it, and things have worked out. About a y
Re:I thought that was an interesting entry, too (Score:2)
Join the club. We've got jackets.
Seriously. If you've made it this far without ever fearing yourself, you're uncommonly lucky. Good people wish for bad things all the time. Good people do bad things now and then. Having bad thoughts doesn't make you a monster.
Monsters don't know what evil is, or like doing evil things. Monsters may even be people who believe that because they are good, nothing they do could be evil. (The biological father of my step
Re:I thought that was an interesting entry, too (Score:2)
So do goths. That is all
Your perspective, your mindset, your beliefs will alter the development of your Child. Even if you fail to bond with them that too will affect them. Carrying a seed of hatred towards your child will be something that even if you can contain within yourself will bear fruit in your child.
The only force in this universe you can truly control and ever gain mastery over is yourself. That alone is truly a
I was going to write him too... (Score:2)
I agree with FK that you'
Re:I was going to write him too... (Score:2)
RailGunner, if you're reading:
"A little girl is going to be born who will never know that her father secretly hates her, because her father is smart enough to hide it."
No, you're not. Smart has nothing to do with it. You might fool yourself, but you won't fool her.
Now go back and read what Shadow Wrought wrote again. And again. And again. And keep reading it until you realize, until you know, until you BELIEVE that God has given you an agent of change. There are no half-measures here. You can e
Re:I was going to write him too... (Score:2)
Having two daughters... (Score:2)
Girls can play guitar, too. And I expect that she will be a rabid Tigers fan.
One hopes, though, that she does not read that JE until she is mature enough to understand it.
I agree (Score:2)
My 5 cents ... (Score:2)
Are you a monster? Maybe, maybe not.
Will you be a good parent? Maybe, maybe not.
That you'd be more accepting of the situation if it were a boy indicates that you've bought into the whole "child as temporal exension of self" bit, and that dealing with that aspect of it may make the situation tolerable for you in the short term, and buy you enough time and "space" to grow into an appreciation of all the good things of having a daughter.
I knew a couple who were in a similar situation, including the
This is totally normal thought (Score:2)
You're not excited about the birth of your daughter? Big deal.
You think horrible thoughts? We all do. The weak, the truly weak, act on them.
Even I had doubts about all this [slashdot.org].
Bottom line RG, you're having some "I'm Hard-Core" Pity-Fest.
Get over yourself.
If you "secretly hate the girl" she'll know because you're not that smart (way back machine?) and Howard Stern will interview her in 17 years and we'll all hear how she dances at Scores because her father su
The captivity of Job (Score:2)
42:11 Then came there unto him all his brethren, and all his sisters, and all they that had been of his acquaintance before, and did eat bread with him in his house: and they bemoaned him, and comforted him over all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him: every man also gave him a piece of money, and every one an earring of gold.
42:12 So the LORD blessed the latter