puckhead's Journal: Worst of Anonymous Coward 4

And seeing the multitudes, He went up unto the mountain: and when He was set, his disciples came unto him: And He opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

  "Blessed are the poor in threshold: for theirs is the Kingdom of the Page-Lengthening and Page-Widening Posts.

  "Blessed are they that mourn the death of *BSD: for they shall be comforted with an ultradense Linux server from VA Linux, now sold by California Digital Corporation.

  "Blessed are the posters of smug one-liners: for they shall inherit an Account Capped at 50.

  "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after The First Post: for they shall have the Third or Fourth Post.

  "Blessed are the karma whores: for they shall obtain "Score: 5, Insightful".

  "Blessed are those who dismiss out-of-hand: for they shall fail to see the Point of the Original Post.

  "Blessed are those who seek to associate themselves with the latest techno-fad: for they shall be called 3L33T for at least Another Half Hour.

  "Blessed are they which are persecuted for their own self-righteousness' sake: for theirs is the Kingdom of "Ask Slashdot".

  "Blessed are the over-eager, who believe that Open Source is a social movement heralding the rise of a new generation: for they shall not realize that There Are No Sacred Cows.

  "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for the sake of your Favorite Operating System.

  "Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in Heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

THIS IS THE WORD OF THE LORD