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pezstar's Journal: Creepy Subway Guy 7 7

Dear Creepy Subway Guy,

I figure I should introduce myself, since I got to know you in ways I never wanted to today. I'm Pezstar. Hi! How's it going?

We first met at Downtown Crossing. I was transferring from the Red Line. You were looking for a cute girl who was all alone and in a hurry. It must have been fate! You bumped into me and smiled with your creepy subway guy eyes. I mumbled something about it being ok and continued to my usual bench. You stood a few feet away and hummed a song. How sweet! You serenaded me at our first meeting!

When the train came, I got on before you. The train was empty, with only about 10 people on it. But that didn't mean it had to be the end of our meeting... no way! Rather than sit all alone in one of the many empty seats (there were even end seats available!), you chose to sit right next to me. Not only did you sit next to me, you pushed yourself up against me, crowding me tight against the little metal divider thing next to the door. Thanks!

In the roughly 40 seconds between Downtown Crossing and State, you "accidentally" brushed your hands against my breasts three times. Unless you have Parkinson's Disease, you are one talented man. Go you, creepy subway guy.

I just want to apologize for elbowing you in the stomach after your third accidental brushing of my breasts. Like I said, I'm sure it was an accident, and I can still feel your arm on my left tit, and it's been an hour and a half, so eww. The good news, though, is that when I elbowed you, I glanced over at your lap. Boy am I glad I did that because, as every girl knows, you can never see too many penises.

I got off the train at State because, quite frankly, you were creeping me the hell out, and I was having a bit of a panic attack. But that wasn't the end of our encounter, creepy subway guy... you got off with me! You had me in your sights for a few minutes, but I fooled you, and when the next train came, I got on one car and you got on another. Oh well. Game over.

Until we meet again,

Freaked out subway girl
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Creepy Subway Guy

Comments Filter:
  • by trmj (579410)
    I'm getting you a baseball bat for New Year's.
    • I'm perfectly ok, just a bit shaky and creeped out. If anything like that ever happens again, I'm just going to put my face as close to his ear as possible and scream as loud as I can. I'm a really good screamer.
      • Dear freaked out subway girl,
        I used to get followed around a lot when i first came to this city. It freaked me out, too.

        Don't be nice. They choose people they think won't put up a fuss.

        And by "fuss" i mean, "Won't scream or call the police."

        I'm not questioning how you handled this. I'm betting you have a mean right hook if things got out of hand. I would vote we not let creepy people touch you any more, though, and if that means i have to come bail you out after disturbing the peace, go for it. I'll be the
        • I elbowed him in the gut in a very pointed way, so I wasn't just letting him touch me. I also got off the train to a literally COMPLETELY EMPTY platform. I walked off and headed outside when people started coming in, so I joined the crowd and managed to lose him. In retrospect, I should have started screaming the instant he sat next to me and crowded me into the railing. His intent was obvious to me at that point, and it would have drawn the attention of the other people on the train. I'd like to think they
          • I would have been really meaner if I was you. When his penis came out, I would have been tempted to give him one hell of a hand job, with my fist to his lap, multiple times, followed by a few to the face. That is just *wrong* :/

            Maybe get a small taser of sorts so you can just taser him in the crotch?
    • by nizo (81281) *
      Screw that; time for some mace or a psycho-zapper [urbansafetysupplies.com]. WTF is wrong with freaks like this???
      • by trmj (579410)
        While litle electric devices are more subtle, what we're going for here is to put out the image that nobody wants to even think about fucking with this one. For that, I would truely recommend a large mace, but a baseball bat will be allowed on the subway much more readily.

In 1750 Issac Newton became discouraged when he fell up a flight of stairs.

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