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Journal Fiver-rah's Journal: Personal Statement 14

Journal by Fiver-rah
So I mentioned this whole thing about law school last time. Well, I registered for the LSAT. I talked to my research advisor. I've read about sixty different schools, none of which meet my six fairly straight-forward (and yet unfortunately contradictory) criteria. And I've been working on a "personal statement". There's a bevy of contradictory information out there as to what a good personal statement should contain. I have ignored it all and instead give you the following guidelines. I want mine to:
  • Indicate I'm not Yet Another Person aimlessly drifting from grad school to law school
  • Ride the subtle line between humor and sobriety (falling, if anything, on the humorous side)
  • Be understandable to a wide range of people; I don't want to be too technical

This here's a first draft. A very early first draft. I know the language is choppy and repetitive (particularly in the last 4-5 paragraphs, one of which contains "blah blah" and "Mu ha ha" which means I can't figure out how to end this sentiment gracefully). And I still don't feel like this is anywhere near cohesive enough (although it feels like it can be, with work). But this is the general framework I think I'm going to work with. What do you think? Comments and suggestions on form and content are welcome. You can also criticize my individual word choice, if you'd like, but I'll probably post a much more polished draft later where you can nitpick to your heart's desire.

* * * * * * * * * * *

And I'm also deleting this, 'cause it wasn't that good.

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Personal Statement More

Personal Statement

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  • I disagree with your usage of the word paramount.
    It should be the paramount priority rather than a paramount priority.

    It depends on the way in which it is interpreted. "A paramount priority" would be incorrect and "a paramount priority" would be correct.

    Sorry, but it's been a long while since I've had the opportunity to enjoy the sadistic pleasure of correcting papers for grammatical errors.

    And after reading the above I have sucessfully confused myself thoroughly, but it did make sense when I wrote it.

  • In the scientific community, knowledge is by and large freely shared. Colloborations are fruitful. Trust is placed in community appraisal and peer review. One outstanding relatively new example of this is the open source community, and specifically, the General Public License (GPL) which allows computer code to be publicly used with the restriction that any derivative ... blah blah, somehow get across the idea of colloborative communities which share knowledge and spread to take over the world. Mu ha ha! I have realized that I care more about the community than the science.

    I think the community focus is a good idea. A lot of people who end up reading these things usually like to see community involvement. You may want to mention (if applicable) some of the projects that you have helped with. That will also add more credibility to your stance.

    BTW, what kind of lawyer do you want to be? Since you have a good technical background, you may want to mention what you are looking to do (you hint at it, but make it more obvious). Goals/direction would definitely be something I'd include and may help with the "another grad school wanting to be a lawyer" stigma.

    • Here is where conflicting advice comes in. Most everything I've read says that contrary to conventional wisdom, admissions committees don't want to hear what you want to do. This is because everyone always says, "here is how I'm going to save the world with my law degree" and then they sell out and make money. So they have become a disgruntled jaded bunch. Most of the things I've read would say that I've already said too much (!!!) about what I want to do.

      I think the advice I refer to above may apply quite well to students who went directly from high school to college and are going directly from college to law school. But I also think that if I don't include any information at all, they're going to wonder, because I'm not like their usual applicants. I'm older and more experienced than their average applicants. Dammit, I should have more direction, right?

      One of the things I'm leaving out entirely of this is a school-specific paragraph. I did a lot of research deciding where I wanted to go to law school, and I have very specific reasons for applying to the schools I went to. So there's going to be a paragraph in there for each school, that reads something like: "One of the reasons I want to attend school X is that I read professor Y's paper entitled 'Biotechnology and the Public Domain.' I plan to study intellectual property, particularly in terms of the public domain." et cetera. So there will be some stuff that's more specific, both to me and to the school in question.

      But I'm still not sure what balance to strike with the above issue. ;)

      • I can see where it would be difficult to strike the proper balance (kind of like the Force).

        I guess if it were me I would just make it sound like "Me" and try not to over analyze it. Most people, (even lawyers ;) ) appreciate honesty and can see through the BS.

        So what are some of the top schools are you looking at?? You gonna tell us? (Maybe someone on slashdot happens to be on the admissions board, who knows!)
        • Hee hee! You've just given me too competing criteria. It has to sound like me. But I shouldn't overanalyze. Ha! How can it sound like me if I don't overanalyze, fret, worry, write three versions, then scrap them all for something brilliant I write in half an hour at three in the morning? At least that's what I did when I was applying to grad school.

          I'm applying to: Harvard, Stanford, Berkeley, Michigan ... and maybe something else; I haven't decided yet. I keep waffling on Stanford. Stanford is very cool, on paper, but everytime I've been on the campus I haven't felt like it's home, which is a big deal. If I don't really want to go, should I even waste my time and money applying? I suspect Harvard would be the same, but I haven't visited Harvard recently.

          • I suspect Harvard would be the same,

            Well, if it's any consolation, Harvard and Stanford feel quite different. I liked Stanford's campus, but I never thought it would be mine. Really, I think it came down to the fact that it was too far from the town center of Palo Alto. Harvard, OTOH, feels quite homey to me. Could be that I only live a half-mile away from it. :)

  • Your luck with chemicals could be worse. A few days ago I unententionally Peppersprayed my sister, best friend, and my self, all at the same time mind you. This wasn't you're average pepperspray either, this stuff is actually labeled as Bear Spray, and is supposed to be used to repell large animals.
    • You wrote:
      'A few days ago I unententionally Peppersprayed'.

      Speaking from experience it had better been unitentional.Follow me back in time.

      It: Hey
      ME: Hey
      It: Whatcha doing?
      ME: (Holds up book)
      It: Cool. What's this?
      ME: Put that down
      It: What is it?
      ME: Concentrated mace for my sister.
      It: Cool, where did you get it.
      ME: From Joes
      It: Cool, how does it work
      Me: Put it down
      It: Just a second, Ok, you push here...
      ME: PUT IT...AHHHHHH FUCKER....GOD DAMN STUPID...FUCK AAAAAAAAAA....SHIT
      It: Sorry man, shit put down that lamp.

      Fortunately it was not a full face hit, but it sucked for a while. It burned, but did not incapacitate me.

      Moral of the story: I got sprayed by CS/Mace and my friend got beat with a lamp, unintentionlly.
      • It went like this for me...

        I moving the contents of my old car into the new car when I pulled out the spray. I walked a ways from the car, and sprayed a little to make sure it still worked, as I'm not sure how old it is, or what the shelf life would be. Sure enough it produced a large cloud, just like it is supposed to. Unfortunately, the wind picked up. I quickly cried "Look out!!" then went blind and started caughing.
        My sister stood up and said "What, gag... ack... what is that? Pepper Spray?"
        That was followed shortly by my friend stepping out of the car, saying "what?" then walking directly into the large orange cloud hovering over my car. He promptly fell down, coughed, then called me a few choice names.

        To make a short story even shorter, I have a working thing of bear spray, and my sister stills owes me a case of guiness for the car stereo.

  • Maybe the professor troll who has been grading JE's and comments will step in and offer some advice.

    I can't offer anything more constructive, as writing a 'personal statement' for dissemination to other people is just about the lamest thing I've ever heard of.

    Of course, that doesn't mean I don't wish you well in your endeavour. I just have nothing constructive to add.

    (sigh). Wrong. The story was a bit long. I understand that it has the effect of telling quite a bit about yourself, but it tends to dominate the piece. Like I said, I'm not sure what this should look or sound like. Your mention of it is the first (or second) time I've heard of something like this. I'd be a little concerned that you might lose the audience. Although, it's entirely possible that a story about a chemistry mistake is so different that they would pay attention to it.

    See, I really don't have anything to add.
  • You would get in. But I don't. So, you'll have to settle for UCLA or Harvard or whoever actually has a law school.

    Your essay tells a personal story which is both amusing and tells a little bit about what you do. It says a lot more about who you are and why they would like to have you than a "here is how I plan to save starving children in Uzbekistan" essay. I also think that law schools like sciency people because so many people with English and Political Science degress apply to law school. That makes you different already, which is good.

    I think the "mu ha ha" may be on the wrong side of the sobriety fence. Then again, so may the people reading their 500th law school applicant essay. :)
    • Oh, the mu ha ha and the blah blah are definitely going to go. I think I've decided that this is crap. It's not nearly strong enough, nor different enough, nor anything enough. It doesn't say a darned thing about me except that I occasionally engage in self-deprecating humor.
      • So, this seems like a good place to mention that I have also dumped liquid nitrogen down a drain. We made ice cream at a chemistry party last year and had some left over liquid nitrogen. The following conversation ensued:

        Me: What should I do with this liquid N2?
        Professor with PhD: Dump it.
        Me: Down the drain???
        P w/PhD: Yeah.
        Me: Is that okay?
        P w/PhD: I don't see why not.
        Me after pouring N2 down the drain: Um, the rubber in the garbage disposal is frozen.
        P w/PhD: Run hot water on it.

        So, we didn't freeze the pipes, but I didn't even think of that. I was more concerned with how rapid temperature changes would affect the sink, piping, and garbage disposal, which seems less likely than pipes bursting, but I've never been one to think in a rational order. I guess we got lucky.
  • Where you wrote "rigor of mathematical argument," I am assuming that you were referring to your logic and reasoning skills. If you were not, disregard this. :-)
    I think you should change this to "rigor of logical argument" or something along those lines. Someone reading a law school application may not understand that the logical reasoning skills you learned working with chemical systems carry over well to other areas. I, for example, am a Network Administrator/Web App Developer. Everything I learned about dissecting a chemical system, and almost everything we did in Pchem translates to working with computer systems. You figure out what effect things have on the system (either the equilibrium in a chemical system, or the traffic/collisions/speed of a network) and find the best balance, or theorize about the effect of adding another component (either a catalyst or heat or stirring, or maybe a firewall or router) would do to the system. The components and interactions are different, but the logic and processes you go through to solve the problem are very similar. I think it will be an eye catching and interesting read once you clean it up and fill in the blah blah... Mu ha ha areas.

    I'm torn about the examples you gave of the RIAA. On the one hand, it shows that you have an interest in this, and you are honest about your personal beliefs. However, you may get a supporter of the bill as a reader. (I imagine many of the reviewers will be stodgy older Caucasian males.) It just depends on their reaction... But if I had to choose, I'd leave it in, I think the pros outweigh the cons, but it does make me a little nervous. :-) Thanks for sharing this with us.

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