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Journal Cyberdyne's Journal: Mad doctors 6

These are actual notes from Doctors' patient charts...

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male. Mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused an autopsy.

9. The patient has no past history of suicides.

10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

15. She is numb from her toes down.

16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

26. The patient was to have a bowel re-section. However, he took a job as a lawyer instead.

27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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Mad doctors

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  • This is why an eyes, ears, nose, and throat doctor should never become a proctologist...
  • by Alioth ( 221270 )
    You'll like the Colorectal Surgeon's song then:

    http://www.alioth.net/tmp/crs.mp3 [alioth.net]

    On a completely different topic, oolite-linux now has a binary installer that contains all the dependencies it needs (well, with the exception of ones all Linux distros have such as a recent glibc). I've only tested it on Ubuntu, Fedora Core 2 and Knoppix 3.7 - IIRC, you mentioned that you used Debian, so I suspect it will work considering I used Ubuntu as the main test subject when building the dependencies pack.

    The installer i
    • On a completely different topic, oolite-linux now has a binary installer that contains all the dependencies it needs (well, with the exception of ones all Linux distros have such as a recent glibc). I've only tested it on Ubuntu, Fedora Core 2 and Knoppix 3.7 - IIRC, you mentioned that you used Debian, so I suspect it will work considering I used Ubuntu as the main test subject when building the dependencies pack.

      Tried. Nice opening screen and a good job packaging it, but it won't take no for an answer (l

      • The crash is fixed (in Subversion) - it was just a really boneheaded programming error on my part, but then again, it is a beta (that's my excuse). (The load/save screen as part of the Oolite GUI is new, it used to use the GNUstep Load/Save which didn't work in SDL full screen mode). I'm curious that it wouldn't take 'n', that's not a bug anyone else has encountered :/

        Pressing 'n' should bring you to the familiar 'Press Space, Commander' screen which if left to its own devices, shows you rotating images of
        • The crash is fixed (in Subversion) - it was just a really boneheaded programming error on my part, but then again, it is a beta (that's my excuse). (The load/save screen as part of the Oolite GUI is new, it used to use the GNUstep Load/Save which didn't work in SDL full screen mode). I'm curious that it wouldn't take 'n', that's not a bug anyone else has encountered :/

          Hm. Well, once the new version's packaged, I'll give it a shot and see if the bug's gone.

          Pressing 'n' should bring you to the familiar 'P

          • Nice. How comprehensive's the object library compared to Elite?

            The default contains everything you'd find in the BBC Micro disk version (although some of the objects do more, you can dock with things other than space stations). There's a whole bunch of addons on the oosat website (http://capnhack.com/hosting/oolite/Oolite/OoSat.h tml [capnhack.com]) - additional ships, missions and game behaviour. I've not tested them all with the Linux port, but I routinely use many of them (they've helped to find some of the bugs).

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him. -- Bion

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