mskfisher's Journal: Text adventures in meatspace

I like to read (or construct) text adventure transcripts more than I like to play them.

This is a relatively accurate transcript of last night's events (which occurred in RL, or meatspace ) that I constructed:

----

You are in a bathroom.

> look
There is a clogged toilet here. Your guest has told you about this toilet before he left.

> unclog toilet
I don't know what to use.

> inventory
You rummage through your pockets and find a 10-foot drain snake.

> use drain snake to unclog toilet
You push and prod with the snake, attempting to navigate the labyrinthine curves of the toilet's water-lock, but are thwarted after several minutes.

> flush toilet
You foolishly attempt to flush the toilet, but it overflows.

> open toilet
You take the cover off the toilet. It is still overflowing.

> raise float
You grab the float and lift it, stopping the flow of water.

> look
There is potentially contaminated water on the floor. You hear water dripping into the basement.

> use drain snake
You try the drain snake again, to no effect.

> go to store
That's too far to walk.

> drive to store
You drive to the store. The journey is uneventful.

> look
You are in a Cub Foods. There are several million dollars worth of foodstuffs and other products on the shelves.

> get food for tomorrow night's dinner
You pick up a pork loin and some biscuits.

> go to cleaning supply aisle
You are in the cleaning supply aisle.

> get plunger
There is no plunger here.

> look
You see mops, brooms, detergent, and cleaning liquids, along with a mysterious box with a "as seen on TV" logo.

> look at box
The box is labeled "CLR Drain Opener." The box describes a pneumatic drain unclogging system.

> take box
You have put the box in your shopping cart.

> purchase items
You go to the checkout and pay a surprising sum of money for your items.

> go home
That's too far to walk.

> drive home
You drive home. The trip is uneventful.

> use drain unclogger
You attempt to sing into the drain unclogger, but soon realize that it does not appreciate your stylings of "Wheels on the Bus."

> use drain unclogger on toilet
You assemble the pneumatic drain tool and press it into place on the toilet. It releases a burst of compressed air, similar in behavior to a standard plunger. Unfortunately, besides spraying a fine mist of toilet water onto the surrounding surfaces, it has no effect.

> use drain unclogger on toilet
You try again, with similar results, or lack thereof.

> use drain unclogger on toilet with gusto
You give it one final try, pressing down harder than before on the applicator, releasing an extra-long burst of air into the toilet. It gives several satisfying burps and gurgles, and drains of water.

> flush toilet
The toilet flushes without incident.

----

so

[robi2106]

was this an actual transcript, or is this one you made up to look like a transcript?

jason

Re:so

[mskfisher]

This was real life/meatspace last night, as per:

This is a relatively accurate summary of last night:

Perhaps I should make that more apparent in the introduction.

Re:so

[robi2106]

Right.... I was wondering how accurate "relatively accurate" was. That sounds like a funky game. Why did you need to deal with the toilet? Other than as a developer's fun side quest, does this happen a lot in these games? If so, that is pretty neat.

jason

Your visitor probably has BCS

[jeepliberty]

Remember. You started it. But since you brought the subject up, there is a cronic problem that many people have. Its not talked about. It's called Big Colon Syndrone or BCS. Its the other "Bowl Game".

People with BCS go days without a movement. Their colon is 1.5 to 2.0 times the diameter of "normal colons" and they can really pack it in if you know what I mean. Consequently their stool is quite large and prone to stop commodes, expecially the new EPA approved ones with low flow ratings.

I've had to deal w

You should write adventure games.

[insanecarbonbasedlif]

I think there are many readily available "Adventure Game Labs" out there now. If you write one (that has at 30 minutes of compelling gameplay - doesn't look out of your reach, you've got talent), I'll paypal you a dollar. You could frame it and put it on the wall "My first Video Game Sale". It would be a moment cherised by all. But don't make it as difficult as the HHGTTG text game. That was alternately fun and mind-numbing; not a great combination. Fun and fun go together well, though.