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On Lawn's Friends

Verbiage: Some puns (2)

Posted by Chacham on Tuesday May 26, 2015 @09:56AM (#2345143)
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As if Some puns wasn't bad enough, i shall here continue my plagiarism, brevity, and literary destruction:

Mick Jagger's dog asked his friend, Patricia Whack, for a loan, offering a small item as collateral. Puzzled, she asked her husband what it was. "It's a knick knack, Patty Whack. Give the dog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman.

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."

Pavlov was sitting at a bar, when the phone rang. Suddenly he gasped, "I forgot to feed the dogs!"

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Do all of you want drinks?" The first logician says, "I don't know." The second logician says, "I don't know." The third logician says, "Yes."

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a auto worker? Ask them to pronounce "unionized."

What's the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist? The etymologist knows the difference.

At a hotel, the bellhop asked a photon if he had any luggage. "Nope." he answered, "I'm traveling light."

He's more classless than a Marxist utopia.
She's so mean she has no standard deviation.

That taxidermist really knows his stuff.

A grizzly without shoes is bear foot.

A lighthouse, rose trellis, windstorm, dune, and Halloween costume got together for a beacon, lattice, and tornado sand witch.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Verbiage: Beginning to learn Java

Posted by Chacham on Monday May 18, 2015 @12:54PM (#2336869)
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I'm reading Learning Java, which i recently purchased, and was typing in the examples from the book. As the book is a monster to hold, i ended up upgrading the ebook for $4.95. Dual screens with one for the PDF and the other for the IDE make it oh so much easier to type in. I also have been reading it on the macbook while in the tub. Nothing like cozying up with a language manual, eh? :)

It's hard enough to learn Java itself. I remember it from the 90s when it was slow, clunky, crashed browsers, and promised way too much. But, it's matured, and for better or worse, it's out there. So, i'm now learning it despite my own prejudice, and now an then mentally mumble, "oh, how stupid."

The stupidities seem to have more to do with preference, and by no means is it language specific. For example, calling an offset an index, leading to the 0/1 bugs that foil so many, camelCasing, and repeating context inside the name. I'm likely to do my own thing for my own code, to keep it enjoyable. I'm even tempted to declare all arrays with one extra element and just starting from 1. Though, some array methods start from 0 regardless, so, i may not be able to hold onto that fantasy for very long.

This is also my first language where i'm learning proper inheritance. One rule that i wondered about is, if class B is a subtype of class A, a variable of class A can refer to an instance of class B, but not vice-versa. I thought that was backwards because B is A plus other stuff. The box isn't bug enough! If anything, i thought, it should be exactly the opposite. A variable of type B should be able to point to an instance of type A, because it fits, though there may be some defaults required.

But now, i finally got to an explanation from the book, albeit about casting, "Casts in Java affect only the treatment of references; they never change the form of the actual object. This is an important rule to keep in mind. You never change the object pointed to by a reference by casting it; you change only the compiler's (or runtime system's) notion of it." Aha! The reason a variable of type A can hold an instance of type B is that from a usage standpoint, B has everything A has, so who cares about the rest. Conversely, a variable of type B cannot hold an instance of type A because it does not have everything required. To use MBTI terminology, Java is for Ps, i am a J. (I just wish they keep away from databases, which is clearly J territory.) I almost feel enlightened. And from Java, no less.

Now to continue reading. I've been successful int trying to do one chapter a(n office) day. Currently in chapter 6.

Texas 2, ISIS 0

Posted by RailGunner on Monday May 04, 2015 @03:42PM (#2313391)
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Texas 2, ISIS 0

Nice shooting, Officer.

And considering (statistically) people with CHL's are even better shots than police, and that there's over 2 million CHL holders in Texas....

The old saying is true: Don't Mess With Texas

Chronicle: Sample Merchandise Sale (2)

Posted by Chacham on Wednesday April 29, 2015 @10:52AM (#2302781)
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After last year's Sample Sale i was very excited to go to this year's. It was $10 promptly asked for at the door, and no real $1 table.

I got:

The canary was $20, the bag $5, All the rest went for $10 each. Had i realized what these were, i would have skipped the Toystate wired(!!) car, and just bought more of the Kyoshos. I really did not give the boxes the attention they deserved.

--

"Plain Old Text" doesn't seem to like HTML anymore. </LI> elements are being treated like new <LI> elements. A blank line after <OL> is treated the same way. The new guys just like breaking stuff, don't they.

Chronicle: New glasses and contacts (2)

Posted by Chacham on Monday April 27, 2015 @10:04AM (#2296163)
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I have tried two more brands of contacts, both hydrogel and toric, with little success. The first pair had the right eye not so bad, but the left was blurry. Ultimately, my appointment was for Sunday, and when i was late i received a phone call. Oops! I guess i've been relying on those reminder calls a bit too much.

He looked at them and they seemed ok, though he caught the left contact being off (rotationally). He mentioned he could correct for it by getting me a lens that would (mostly) work at that rotation, but it sounded a bit to risky. Math is good and all that, but it sounds risky to rely on the contact being off.

So, second pair. That was weird. When the light was on i saw better. And, he didn't see anything wrong when shining the light in my eye. Ostensibly, when my pupils dilated, the contact moved and my vision was worse. I was able to see that difference easily. Ultimately, i was seeing double vision on that second pair, with a shadow of each letter to the right, slightly up. I thought i was funny when i could position my head at the right angle (no pun intended) to see the letters without the shadow to the side.

He had one lens from the third pair, the other being on order. It was no better.

He said i was the worst case he had ever come across. Aside from being happy about the title, it looks like contacts are not for me. He said maybe there is a curvature of my eye too slight for the machine to pick up. Or, possibly, all the contacts had defects. Whatever the case, he suggested i was unlikely to find a good pair, and we agreed that i would just give up. I know the doctor from the community, and i trust his judgement. I'll just have to suffice at feeling special. :)

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming. -- J. P. McEvoy

 



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