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So I get back and see that... shit... my sunroof is open. Not much. Just a half inch or so. It was pretty nice this morning, so I opened it up to get a nice bit of breeze in on the morning drive (I had it in under 11 minutes... good time!) I realize that its not gonna be pretty: the inside is all wet. No problem, I wipe things up a bit and get ready to go.
Then I discover the bird poop.
Now poptart frosting is made of some bizarre substance that nobody has ever quite reverse engineered. Scientists have heated it to thousands of degrees, yet it never leaves its solid form... I assumed that this pastry would behave similiar, but I erred with painful results. This frosting melted. I stuck my finger into it. It was hot. Real hot.
I yelp and begin sucking my fingers and making hurt noises as loud as can be expected considering my mouth is full of crisped fingers. The frosting tastes good, but my hands hurt. CowboyNeal laughs at me and I stick my fingers under the tap and run cool water over the pain.
Now I have burn blisters on 2 fingers. Damn pastry.
It does disturb me that pound for pound I'm bringing more batteries than laundry. I hope importing Lithium Ion isn't a crime!
Oh, and nobody email me for a week, ok? *grin*
- Nate's gaming machine randomly crashes about every 15 minutes (windows)
- The harddrive in CowboyNeal's machine has gone wonky
- My brand spanking new TiVo has something wrong with it. I have to ship it back and get it replaced.
- My router box's harddrive started freakin out. It stopped booting last night.
- My old laptop crashes randomly (windows)
On the positive side, we got a handful of the Lucent wireless cards... super sweet. 11mbs and wireless. If I could get a box stable for long enough to test the range, I'd be a happy jack.
Sure, I don't play as well in most cases (however in some cases, especially bands that focus on A, G and D major chords) I sound just like the real thing. If I just had a marshal stack, it would be complete. The illusion of talent would be perfected.
Same thing with my FX processor: Wanna sound like you're playing a sitar in a stadium? It's just a few buttons away. I'll never learn how to play a sitar. And I guarantee I'll never be jamming away in front of a row of marshals in the silverdome... but a few buttons and I sound like it.
All of the power. None of the embarassment when I miss 1 out of 5 chords. God I love rock.
I assembled it today. Finally. Its not like its a pressing thing to do since it is 3 degrees out right now and several inches of snow covers everything... but I was feeling anxious and it needed doing.
Now normally when I put something together I don't worry so much: computers, shelves, desks, chairs, legos. These things are harmless... if you end up with a few extra screws when you're done, its cool. The worst thing that'll happen is your motherboard will shortout and you'll have to return it. Or your chair might be wobbly.
But this grill features a propane tank and an ignitor. Now I've come to a strange point: I'm hungry. I want to grill a steak. Its not even super cold so I could actually possibly do it. NOw do I dare press the ignitor? Maybe I'll make my roommate do it... oh Kurt!
Often college students purchase "The Interview Suit" towards the end of their careers. This is of course so that when companies talk to them, they think that they are more then beer guzzling hackers. I circumvented this by quitting my day job and working on Slashdot full time.
But now I've done it. I went to the store. I picked out a suit that I liked. And I even got (non-tennis/non-slipper) shoes to wear. Now the suit is being fixed up to my exact measurements so apparently it'll only fit me.
I feel kinda dirty, but I look pretty good. On the positive side, I only have to wear it for a total of like 15 hours out of the next 10,000.
Now I accept spam. I hate it. But if I chose I could procmail a lot of it out. But why is it that every year companies that normally have a policy of treating my INBOX with respect feel the urge to flood me with their yule tide joy (and reminders that I can buy-buy-buy whatever it is they are moving). It just makes me sad.
Anyway, the point of this rambling. Tongiht I'm all happy 'cuz I'll get to watch some JB action. I've had a few stressful days, and I'm looking forward to a few relaxing ones before things get super hectic again, and watching Girls, Guns, and Spies seemed perfect. So I check TBSs website. First off their schedule is screwed up (404, file not found) second their 'James Bond' Movie page turns out to be blank. Very ameteurish. That bums me out. But then I notice in huge glaring letters 'Tonight on TBS' where they proclaim that tonight's James Bond movie is... Houston @ Phoenix!
Basketball! Its friggin 15 days of Bond and they're showing me basketball? What kind of conspiracy is this? I demand a refund for 1 of my days of Bond. I want to watch Dr. No or something on day 16 as a refund for them showing a freakin' basketball game during quality time that by all rights I should have spent with Sean Connery. Or at least Roger Moore.
Its a conspiracy I tell ya.
So what this really means is I need a new hat. I own a few hats, but I've realized that at age 23, the hats that I own fall into 3 catagories:
- Baseball hats loudly proclaiming tacky corporate logos. I have no problem with hats of this nature, but they tend to function more in the "Keep Sun out of Eyes" capacity then in the "Prevent Wind from Ripping large chunks of ear cartilidge off while temperature is antarctic".
- A red fedora. Ok, its a cool hat. It has significance. And I wear it during christmas. BUt if you wear a red hat at any other place besides a Linux convention or a christmas party, people think you're a fruit loop.
- Wool hats that feature convenient eye holes. This is of course the best winter hat of all time, however it bears with it the stigma of also making anyone within a 30 foot radius brace themselves for a "Stickup". Besides that, I don't ski. I don't engage in snow fights. And quite frankly it looks dumb.
So I do what I always do when it comes time for me to buy something: I turn to the internet. I shop. And shop. And after a pretty solid amount of time, I realize that I want a black leather fedora, but the statistical probability of me guessing the correct size of my own head. Hemos would say I have a big head, but I'm not sure that constitutes an accurate measurement for hat size. And I guess this is where the eCommerce buzzword collapses. I don't know how to measure my head any better than I know how to measure my own bra size. There are many variables: Head Shape (Oval? Circle? Wide?) and the actual circumfrence (measured in hecthairs of course).
I'm a college graduate, but I am positive that I am incapable of getting this right without help
At a store, I could either ask the surly teenage staffer manning the register to assist me and measure my head, or I could brute force the task by merely trying on hats until I find something that neither slides off during a light breeze, or sits so high on my head that people think it has religious significance.
Its gonna be a great day.
So the ad annoys me. But i understand and accept advertising as a necessary part of the television entertainment machine. Fine. I'm glad that advertising exists so I can get TV and not have to pay per show. I'm willing to have advertising appearing on my screen: just not annoying advertising. So here is my solution: rather than displaying 30 seconds of some retarted commercial, allow viewers optionally to simply get 30 seconds of quiet, and the company's logo. They get their publicity. We don't get annoyed. Everyone is happy.
I don't know if it will take internet TV, or a cool cable company, or an act of god to make this feasible, but lord it would be great. I wouldn't have to see the stupid Orange Juice "Pure Energy" ad, or anything advertising any sort of female hygiene product or anything. It would be great.
Bah who am I kidding. The television industry hates us. That would just be to nice.
Sometimes I look at the comments when they complain, but they're almost always stupid comments. And now they're angry because they wrote something stupid and lost some karma because of it. And its my fault someone didn't like it. And dammit, I better fix it right now!
Time to add a new filter into ye old procmail script: any message containing the word 'karma' should be forwarded to /dev/null. I have actual work to do sometimes. Or else I need a 'Karma Department' where burly men named 'Herb' can print out karma complaints and urinate on them for me. It wouldn't help anything, but it would make me feel better.
Maybe I'm just cranky. Maybe I need a day off. Karma is cool.