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ESR's Sex Tips For Geeks
Posted by
jamie
on Sun Apr 01, 2001 07:30 AM
from the soap-huh dept.
from the soap-huh dept.
An Anonymous Coward writes: "According to Eric S. Raymond in
this article,
'hackers don't have to be helpless chum in the dating-game shark pool. We have some advantages; with a little understanding of human ethology we can learn how to use them effectively.'"
Anyone who says brains aren't sexy doesn't get turned on by a liter of gray tissue.
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ESR's Sex Tips For Geeks
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Hmm.. (Score:5)
Could it be that the average slashdotter is actually *reading* the article for once?
Re:Sexism (Score:5)
I don't know, when will women stop having sex with men who have stone age attitudes, and start having sex with men who treat them as human beings?
ESR swings ... and gets a base hit, not a home run (Score:3)
- Confidence. As you succeed, you gain confidence that you can
succeed, and you gain confidence in yourself. Therefore, women look
for this. A guy who is confident is a guy who, if he isn't already
successful, has a high probability of being successful.
- Assertiveness. To succeed, you must insist on getting what you
want. You must assert yourself, must compel others to do your
bidding. Want to know why men always have to make the first move?
Simple: because doing so shows that the guy is assertive enough (and
confident enough) to try. This may mean insisting on getting what you
want at the expense of others, perhaps even at the expense of the
women you're interested in. So be it.
- Aggressiveness. You can't just assert yourself at the beginning
and expect to succeed. You can't just mess around. You have to be
aggressive about going after what you want. You have to be willing to
put a great deal of energy into it. This often translates to other
areas, for instance defense of territory.
Women pick up on all of these things. The guys that are cocky, arrogant, mean (aggressive), and (in many geeks' eyes) cruel (assertive) seem to always end up with the women precisely because women are looking for the above traits. Kindness doesn't even enter into the equation until much later. But by that time, the man has scored, and in evolutionary terms that is all that matters.Finding the right combination of these traits to display is the real trick. Confidence is probably the best trait to work on because it involves the fewest compromises. Most geeks are highly confident in their computer skills. But what needs to show through is confidence about everything. And that means that, as a male, you must approach a woman you're interested in as if there's no question that the outcome of the encounter will be in your favor. And you must do so without hesitation or doubt.
--
man 1 sex (Score:3)
Re:Speaking of stone age attitudes... (Score:3)
Geeks tend to believe that they could treat women better, if only they had the chance. This is absurd, the guys that are getting laid are the guys that do know how to treat a woman.
You're absolutely right. I agree with you completely. I was trying to point out to Terri Rolle that, in fact, women are sleeping with exactly the men they desire -- women can SAY they HATE "stone age attitudes" all they like, but so long as they keep rutting with the frat boys, men will keep acting like frat boys.
My greatest regret in life is that it took me so long to stop listening to what women SAID they wanted and start paying attention to what they actually ACTED on.
Being intelligent is far from the most critical component in how you treat a woman.
I'd recommend looking for a good dancer and a pet owner, that'll tell you more than intelligence about how someone will be in a relationship. (yes, I'm a good dancer, no I'm not a pet owner, so I'm not just making up rules that I fulfill!)
---------------------------------------------
RTFM? (Score:5)
Intelligence (Score:5)
But anyway, you know what I mean. Use your abilities to learn things that will impress girls. Memorize every work of Mozart and Beethoven and learn to play a few. Teach yourself a spoken language. Use your brain for something other than learning another programming language or OS.
Another thing, clean up your act. Work out. Get a tan. Pay attention to your wardrobe. You know those hot little sexpots you see bouncing around with their flat stomachs and perky asses? WTF makes you think they want some slouch with a beer keg for a stomach that dresses like their little brother? Most guys can clean up their acts to a very respectable degree, if they put forth the effort. So the 'terminally ugly' defense is rarely true. You, yes YOU, can look much better than you look right now.
Is it shallow? Maybe. But so what? If it gets you what you want, mission accomplished! It's a means to an end. I promise, you'll not feel shallow the first night you bed a really attractive girl.
Ya know, if you're a gazillionaire like ESR.... (Score:3)
...writing "Sex Tips for Geeks" is made considerably easier by the fact that anything you do will be considered sexy if it is behind the wheel of an Italian or German-made exotic automobile.
I have, fortunately or unfortunately, many friends who became multimillionaires in the midst of the dotcom run-up. Now even their flatulence smells to some women sweeter than "Obsession". So picking up chicks isn't really a problem for them any more. Now the problem is filtering out the ones who would've loved them when they slept in $300/mo campus housing and drove a Gremlin.
(Of course, I hope for ESR's sake that he managed to dump some of that VA Linux stock back in the day [slashdot.org]. What was once worth to him $36M would I think now be worth less than $500K... And losing over 95% of your personal wealth in less than two years is DEFINITELY not a good way to appear sexy to chicks, ESPECIALLY if you're a geek.)
The Cathedral and the Brassiere (Score:3)
argh (Score:5)
I beg of you, do not read ESR's Sex Tips. I was plauged for months afterward with dreams (nightmares, if anything) of ESR... (shocking!)... with no clothes... (scary!)... doing sexual things! (Now I'm scarred for life!)
It's worse than goatse.cx, I swear. the tips themselves are fine, but the thought of ESR and -- *shudder*
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tips... (Score:5)
question: is control controlled by its need to control?
answer: yes
The art of the pickup? (Score:5)
DanH
Cav Pilot's Reference Page [cavalrypilot.com]
Getting laid? (Score:4)
Geek Dating Manifesto (Score:3)
However, it doesn't have the pedigree of the Raymond peice. A quick sample:
This is the logic of "geekboy dating":
+ Want someone
+ Can't get them immediately (at all)
+ Declare that you don't want them after all
+ Repeat
If that reads like shampoo instructions, you're getting the picture. If you think that's normal or healthy, you're missing the point.
Definitely worth a read
Check out the Vinny the Vampire [eplugz.com] comic strip
pupils, shrink... from this advice. (Score:3)
... or maybe the bright light is behind you?
the sort of advice he dispenses indicates exactly why geeks should not think to hard about trying to pick up girls. if you are measuring her pupils, you are not in the game.
voulez-vous manger "gach" avec moi, ce soir? (Score:5)
Wow, this is good advice. Anybody know where I can get a Klingon-French dictionary? I'm going to make her shiver...
chix 101 (Score:5)
HOW TO GET BABES -- A GUIDE FOR GEEKS
Show them your T1 lines and your modifications to the Linux kernel -- they'll be very impressed.
Grunt when they say anything to you -- remember, avoid eye contact at all costs.
Never leave your home -- any babes worthy of your attention will come knocking on your door.
Surf the net for porn, so you know what real women should look like.
Test whether they really love you; never, ever shave or shower.
Don't exercise -- the weak, pudgy mess that you are will evoke maternal feelings of sympathy.
If they talk to you, it means that they love you.
Remember, girls always prefer email to real mail.
Sitting three seats behind them on the bus is a good start.
Become a billioniare -- trade money for babes.
Write the next, killer software app -- your fame will draw them to you.
Remember, what's cool to your geek friends is cool to babes too.
Make them understand that you are more evolved than that hunky football star.
Declare that you are homosexual -- that never fails to interest them; pounce when guard is down.
Babes always go for the stronger man -- duke it out over a game of Quake.
Write a geeky web page.
Use mnemonics to aid communication e.g. Hello == main(){, Goodbye == }
Increase your "reproductive fitness" -- become the Alpha geek of your pack
The woman you're talking to on the net really is female and most likely a babe -- and remember, cybersex is as good as real sex.
chix dig us [antioffline.com]
get off your ass..... (Score:4)