 Uncle Robin's Advice for Lovelorn Geeks |
Posted by Roblimo on Sunday October 24, @11:17AM ESTfrom the everybody-loves-somebody-sometime dept.
"How do I find a woman like her?" I often get asked this question by young computer dudes who meet my lovely wife, Debbie, and wonder how an old ugly guy like me managed to get hold of such a wonderful woman while smarter, studlier young guys (like them) seem to strike out with every female they meet. These lonely youngsters all seem to think I must have a set of magic rules for attracting females. And guess what? I do. Click "Read More" and I'll share them with you.
Don't Waste Your Time on Geek Girls
Here you are, an obsessed coder and all that, spending 2/3 of your waking time online and clicking on Slashdot five times a day. Wouldn't it be nice if you could find a woman who shares your interests?
No!
A woman just like you wouldn't be there for you when you wanted a hug. She'd be obsessively coding or posting on Slashdot herself, and would brush you off when you needed her. What you really want is a woman who will be there for you when you get tired of staring at your monitor and need some loving, but will leave you alone and not demand your attention when you're busy. You don't want a Geek Girl. You want a woman who is willing and able to meet a geek's needs, which is not the same thing at all.
Men involved in activities that demand long periods of intense concentration (programmers, artists, writers, musicians, etc.) need women who will respect what they do and help them do it well, not women who compete with them.
We need what are now called "old fashioned girls" who don't mind cooking our meals, rubbing our sore shoulders, and running our bath water for us. There are plenty of these women out there. They're as eager to find you as you are to find them. The trick is sorting through the 6 billion people on this planet to find the woman who is right for you instead of wasting your time on women with whom you cannot possibly build a long-term, mutually beneficial relationship.
Forget the Girls in Playboy
The silicone-enhanced babes you see posing in skin mags and on porn Web sites aren't interested in you. Neither are the blondies you see hanging on football players' arms, and even if one of them suddenly decides you'd be a nice change after the other men she's had in her life, you'll probably be disappointed with her.
I've gone out with more than a few "hot babes" in my time (I wasn't always married) and I generally found them to be more trouble than they were worth. Women who look great aren't necessarily good in bed, and those who have learned how to use their looks as a tool to manipulate men will almost always make your life miserable in the long run. If nothing else, they're expensive. Do you have any idea how much someone like Pamela Anderson spends on clothes, makeup, and cosmetic surgery every year? Trust me: it's more than you can afford unless you're a rock star or the CEO of Oracle (Hi, Larry!), and even then it's more than she's probably worth.
When you take off their clothes and their makeup, many "hot" women are really rather plain. The trick is to find a woman who doesn't spend a lot of time and money cuting herself up, but is pleasant to hold once all the packaging is removed. She'll be more likely to want some cuddling than the vain ones, and, unlike them, will concentrate on loving you instead of worrying about getting her hair messed up.
Practical hint: ever notice how, at a dance or in a bar, 90% of the men try to glom on to 10% of the women? Be smarter than those guys! Pay attention to the women who look nice but unspectacular and are being ignored because they aren't perfectly dressed or made up. The best software usually doesn't come in the fanciest box, right? The same goes for girls.
It's Okay to be Tongue-Tied
Don't worry about other men being "smooth talkers" while you're not. Many, possibly most, of your male ancestors were even less verbal than you, but they still managed to reproduce. (See your mirror for evidence.) Women don't always choose men based on slick opening lines. Indeed, many women tend to be put off by prepared "seduction" speeches, and prefer an honest, if slightly tongue-tied, guy to one who who comes across as having practiced pickup lines for hours on end.
And your clothes don't make all that much difference to women as long as they're appropriate for the time and place. Be clean and neat. That's all you need.
A woman who is only interested in your designer outfits is not only likely to be too shallow for you, but may also be interested in seeing you only in your fancy clothes, not out of them. This is not the right woman for you!
There's More to Life Than Computing
The biggest mistake I see computer-obsessed men make when getting to know women is to talk about nothing but computer stuff all the time. My wife uses her computer all day long as a working tool, but neither knows nor cares what kind of NIC (a 3Com) or how much RAM (64 MB) it has inside. If I want to discuss PC hardware I do it with male friends, not with my wife.
The best way to handle a conversation with a woman, especially one you've just met, is to find out what interests her. Ask her questions! Not whether she likes to be tied to the bed with ribbons and have her tummy tongue-tickled (at least not on a first date) but about her hopes and dreams in life, favorite TV shows, and other general interest things like that. Work and school are usually safe conversational starting points.
You've heard this before, but body language is more important than your words. So look at the girl! I mean her eyes, not her breasts. Don't cross your arms and legs as though you're trying to protect yourself from her. If you want to touch her arm, and she's close, go ahead. Maybe she'll touch you back. If your touch wasn't overly intrusive, returning it will be a natural, almost instinctive, reaction on her part.
You're a little shy and awkward? No big deal. She may be just as shy as you are. Don't push her. If she finds you at all attractive, she'll find subtle ways to be close to you without making it look as if she's being pushy.
And if the girl finds you unattractive, she'll let you know that, too (so you can dump her before you get too serious). Paying attention is the key to picking up the signals either way. If you're having trouble understanding the lady's vibes, ask questions! All females come with HOWTOs. Verbal ones. Ask them questions like, "Does this feel good?" and they'll answer. They also like honest compliments, so if you touch the back of her hand and it makes you feel all warm inside, go ahead and say, "Touching the back of your hand makes me feel all warm inside."
That's certainly a lot classier than, "You got nice boobs," which is a statement virtually guaranteed to put off almost any woman who isn't selling her body for drug money.
In other words, you don't have to be slick with women, but being stupid or crude with them gets you nowhere. (Unless you like stupid, crude women.)
Teenagers Take Heart: It Gets Better
All teenage boys are idiots when it comes to girls. And teenage girls are idiots when it comes to boys. The girls who laugh at you in high school laugh because they're nervous and, if you're exceptionally bright, posibly because they're a little bit scared of you. Sooner or later those same girls will get over their stupid crushes on Ricky Martin (in my time it was Ringo Starr), and other unreachable figures, and decide to look seriously at guys like you. This change generally comes between the ages of 18 and 25. Meanwhile, you may have matured a bit yourself by then, so that when the ditzy girls of today turn into tomorrow's adult women, you will no longer look or act like the dork they thought you were in high school
One warning: be gracious, not obnoxious, to girls you find ugly at the age of 15 or 16. There was a girl named Jessica who had a slight crush on me in high school for some unkown reason. She had horrible acne, bad posture, braces, ugly glasses, and wore tacky, faded dresses. She was also a straight-A student -- and slightly arrogant about it. I was not nice to this girl. Hardly anyone was -- except a very ordinary, slightly geeky guy named Mike.
At 18, Jessica suddenly changed. It was like a movie makeover. She got new glasses and the braces came off. She got a better wardrobe, her acne cleared up, and she stopped being stuck-up about her academic achievements. And she grew ... breasts. She took longer than most to develop in the chest department, but the results were worth waiting for. You know the rest of the story. It was Mike all the way. I'd blown my chance by being a jerk. I still have a flat spot on my forehead from banging it against the wall over Jessica.
Women Are More Complicated than Computers
I think this is why so many guys hide their heads in their monitors instead of going out and meeting women. Understanding women is harder than figuring out the hardest computer game, harder even than setting up a secure 200-client network running *BSD. But women can offer more satisfaction than even an overclocked, dual-Celeron workstation, so learning how to deal with them is worth the extra effort.
I believe the greatest frustration about women for men who are used to dealing with Open Source software is that you cannot fix flaws you find in them. You pretty much have no choice but to take them the way they are. For example, my wife likes to redecorate frequently, which sometimes annoys me, but I've learned to shrug my shoulders and call this part of her personality a feature, not a bug, and to accept it with the same good grace with which I accept a certain respected coworker's unique approach to the English language.
But I take pride in the fact that I am just as much of a mystery to my wife as she is to me, and that she can't change my source code any more than I can change hers.
Perhaps this is the true secret of finding a woman to love: knowing that there is no such thing as a perfect female, but that a woman worth loving is worth loving in spite of her imperfections, just as you are worth loving in spite of your imperfections -- to at least one woman in this world, who is probably sitting alone right now, wishing she could find a fine, brilliant (if slightly shy) man like you to fill that big, empty spot in her life.
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| Hah! (Score:1) by Foogle (foogle@adelphia.net) on Sunday October 24, @11:21AM EST (#1) (User Info) |
| This is awesome! It's so true, and yet we see others (and ourselves) doing stupid things like talking to would-be-girlfriends about our new monitor all the time. If anyone outside geekdom read this they probably wouldn't believe it, but jeez, it's so true. ----------- "You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding." |
| Re:Hah! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:21PM EST (#417) |
This is awesome! It's so true, and yet we see others (and ourselves) doing stupid things like talking to would-be-girlfriends about our new monitor all the time. If anyone outside geekdom read this they probably wouldn't believe it, but jeez, it's so true. True. If we spent less time finding bugs, and more time finding the clitoris, we'ld be very happy geeks indeed. |
| Re:Hah! (Score:1) by Foogle (foogle@adelphia.net) on Sunday October 24, @08:14PM EST (#441) (User Info) |
| And if only I had a number of bugs equal to the amount of clitoris I get... Then the geek in me would be all set :) ----------- "You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding." |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:1) by lilo (lilo@everywhere) on Sunday October 24, @12:25PM EST (#97) (User Info) |
e need what are now called "old fashioned girls" who don't mind cooking our meals, rubbing our sore shoulders, and running our bath water for us. The only women who will do this are Christian, and you know about them. Yuck! Remember, you're pro-choice, you support the UN for peace, you voted for Clinton and now Gore, you care about education, the environment, and the children.There are a lot of assumptions in your comments. Most of them need a reality check. (1) All politics occurs in the United States. Most of your comments above have little to do with the rest of the world's politics, even if you shave off the serial numbers and pretend that a 'social democrat' in Europe is the 'same' as a 'liberal' in the U.S. With that in mind, I guess I had better address your fairly limited concerns, i.e., U.S. politics and relationships. 8) (2) All geeks are stereotypical liberals. Uh, not so. There are lots of libertarians and anarchists and even right-wingers, both the religious and non-religious variety (eh, you didn't notice some right-wingers are not religious?). (2) The female population is divided into right-wing Christians and left-wing feminists. Erm? If you're not listening to people's political beliefs because they are female, you might be having trouble getting second dates. There is as much variety in women's political viewpoints as men's. But see #1 above. ;) (3) All left-wing women are feminists. This seems intuitive too, but the reality is hardly so simple and stereotypical. Plenty of women who believe in social justice stay home to raise their children. Ask around, somewhere outside of the boundaries of places like Bezerkeley. ;) As a propertarian anarchist who is quite happily married to a libertarian with left-leanings who has a social conscience and is staying home to take care of our child, I can tell you that the world is not as simple a place as you think. ;) Oh, and neither of us is a Christian. ;) |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:1) by PeeOnYou on Sunday October 24, @07:46PM EST (#431) (User Info) |
| This is where I'd draw the line. *** gets on soapbox ***. This is only an article. No one said it was the complete truth and fact of life. It was created by a human ( I think anyways.. ) and therefore has much OPINION in it. Don't get your panties in a twist. *** gets off soapbox *** |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @07:38PM EST (#711) |
| I take issue with the above: 3) All left-wing women are feminists. This seems intuitive too, but the reality is hardly so simple and stereotypical. Plenty of women who believe in social justice stay home to raise their children. You can be a feminist and still choose to stay home. Really, you can. However, many stay-at-home feminists do not wish to be told what to do, nor do they wish to be told that raising children is an inferior avocation, etc. etc. I really can't see how the feminist-->corporate dweller link got into anyone's head in this day and age, but..... |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:28PM EST (#100) |
| Jeez, come off the leftist high horse. I bet you believe Al Gore really DID invent the internet right? Hysterics like your unintelligble logic process is what drive others to vote on the right. |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:2, Insightful) by Dr. Zim on Sunday October 24, @02:43PM EST (#270) (User Info) http://www.z-space.net/~zim |
| My wife is neither christian nor particularly politcal, but honestly cares about my happiness (a.k.a. love). I beleive it's for love alone that she takes the time to see my vitamins are set on my keyboard every morning, that there is an apple in my briefcase and that she comes down to my basement workshop just to see if I want a cup of coffee. It is love, not christianity, that prompts her to come by the office with an umbrella because it started to rain after I left home. Conversly, it is for love alone that I partake in a number of activities that hold no interest for me other than, 'It makes her happy'. Most of my male friends are slashdot readers. Every one of our wives (except for the single guys, of course) are different women with different world views and opinions, even different racial backgrounds and religions. The 'old fashioned' thread that ties them all together is each has a vested interest in the happiness of their spouse. I think that's the 'old fashioned' value Rob was talking about here, not religion or politics. If that mutual respect for another's happiness isn't there, no common belief is going to keep a couple together. I won't even try to define the average slashdot reader, but I doubt too many guys would have much trouble putting up with someone who cares about their well-being, be they christian, communist, or otherwise. |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:16PM EST (#321) |
| My god man! Your wife does all that? I really need to get married. |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @11:30AM EST (#680) |
My wife is neither christian nor particularly politcal, but honestly cares about my happiness (a.k.a. love). I beleive it's for love alone that she takes the time to see my vitamins are set on my keyboard every morning, that there is an apple in my briefcase and that she comes down to my basement workshop just to see if I want a cup of coffee. It is love, not christianity, that prompts her to come by the office with an umbrella because it started to rain after I left home. Conversly, it is for love alone that I partake in a number of activities that hold no interest for me other than, 'It makes her happy'. Want more: Remind me to sleep after 3 am (she stays awake just to remind me, even though she's really tired.) Taking care of my 2 years old monster-like little son, while holding my 2 months old ever crying son. Make my breakfast before I wake up. Drive me to the subway station. Drive me home when I get off from work. Make my dinner. Make my lunch. Do laundry. Do dish-washing. Remind me to take medicine on time when I am sick. Read books to find healither and tasty recipes. Save my money by not wasting that single dime on Super-Market goods #????. Only buy new clothes when it's necessary and buy those that looks nice and within our financial reach. Prepare my tax return. Prepare all my "paperworks", like contract, mortgage, leasing ... Apply credit cards for me when she sees "0% APR for 1 year" ... Becomes another person when she's on bed ... and more ... This is my favorite part of Roblimo's post: Practical hint: ever notice how, at a dance or in a bar, 90% of the men try to glom on to 10% of the women? Be smarter than those guys! Pay attention to the women who look nice but unspectacular and are being ignored because they aren't perfectly dressed or made up.A friend of mine dated one of that "10% girl", spent a lot of money, married with her, spent even more money, divorced, splitted his money with her, and he's still waiting for his ex-wife. At the same time, his ex-wife found a new boy friend already, but is still going out with my friend, because his new boy friend doesn't earn as much money as my friend. Also, he can only sleep with her a few days a month, the rest of the month they sleep in their own beds. Poor guy. He's that 90% guy that many girls want (high income, nice looking, honest, but a bit greeky). His biggest mistake is that he fell in love with a 10% girl. My wife is not as attractive as her ex. at first glance, but that's because she doesn't like to dress like those "10% girls". If she doesn, she's even more beautiful than them. There are a lot of girls like her out there, you just need to look beyond the skin -- I mean, the dress. |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @11:39PM EST (#726) |
| Good point. Most people know that(I hope). It also turns out that you can turn a 90% into a 10% girl though... treating people too nice can have its downsides also. |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:22PM EST (#515) |
| "The only women who will do this are Christian, and you know about them. Yuck! " I have a soultion for you. Catholics. They are like Christians, only different. If they are going to have the eleven kids, they know they are going to have to keep things interesting in Bed! The one thing that I agree with you is: "Always marry someone sympatico to your politics.." The thing that you don't see is that within the next Decade, Your politics are going to change. Heck, by the first time you kid says daaa, You will see things from a totally diferent perspective. So I guess it will be "Marry someone sympatico to what your politics will be." And Have a Nice One. Bruce |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:2, Interesting) by LIZX on Monday October 25, @04:50AM EST (#601) (User Info) |
| Ok.. lets get this straight.. I for one am a female and A)not a christian (not that its bad to be one) B) not a feminist and c) love my boyfriend of 4 years who is a total computer geek. I totally thought the article was RIGHT ON. My boyfriend and I hardly discuss anything about the computer because thats what he does on his own time and I do what I want to on my own time. I dont ask him to dress like he came out of GQ and I totally respect his love for code (love hate.. :)) I know that being a computer geek is part of his personality and frankly, I love it. I think its interesting to learn new things from him and by me not being a computer geek, he has a chance to learn things from me as well. I think the article was completely right on.. take if from me I am dating a guy who used to spend about 18 hours out of his day on the computer.. there is hope.. :) |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @03:07PM EST (#698) |
| I agree. My wife couldn't send an e-mail when I met here. Completly different ends of the spectrum. To top that off I'm Canadian and she's Salvadorian. :) We are still learning off of each other. |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:2, Insightful) by SpacePunk on Monday October 25, @10:36AM EST (#659) (User Info) |
| dude, you are twisted The last thing anybody wants is some ditzy broad that chases after the latest political trends because she's tryin to keep up with the PC crowd and entering the "I care more than you do" race. |
| Re:This is kidding (Well, this here is serious...) (Score:2, Informative) by f1r3br4nd (f1r3br4nd@hotmail.com) on Monday October 25, @11:08AM EST (#674) (User Info) |
| by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:40PM EDT > PETA women are always looking for partners, and > they vote just like you and donate to the same > causes. Like hell they do! PETA, Greens, and other luddite bastards are the natural enemies of anyone who likes technology and/or believes in liberty. I'd rather be with a "right-wing" chiX0r whose political/religious views I'm indifferent to than some raging tree hugger whose politics are threatening the future of my species and my civilization. Of course, I don't have to settle for right-wing, because the sisters ain't dumb: more and more of them are wising up to what Libertarianism has to offer. |
| Re:This is kidding (Well, this here is serious...) (Score:2) by Mr. Slippery (tms@spambefuddler-infamous.net) on Monday October 25, @12:24PM EST (#688) (User Info) http://www.infamous.net/ |
PETA, Greens, and other luddite bastards are the natural enemies of anyone who likes technology and/or believes in liberty.Ah, no. I'm a vegan, I've donated to PETA, and voted Green; I'm also a software developer and technophile who is anti-censorship, anti-prohibition, and gun-owning - and I've also voted Libertarian. (That's right, I am an armed radical vegetarian, the beef council's worst nightmare B-) ) Being opposed to ethical anthrocentrism isn't a Luddite view, it's the only one in keeping with science and logic. And understanding that certain technologies have a negative environmental impact, and preferring the development of those that don't, isn't a Luddite view, it's the proper application of scientific and technical knowledge for the best long-term benefit. Combining science, logic, long-term thinking, and compassion is no threat to the human speicies - it's the only hope our species has for survival. (Since this has nought to do with lovelorn geeks, if anyone wants to discuss these points further I suggest e-mail - remove "spambefuddler-" from the address above.) Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | http://www.infamous.net/ "What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?" - Nick Lowe |
| Re:This is kidding (Score:1) by spack on Tuesday October 26, @01:22AM EST (#728) (User Info) |
| Shut up dumbass! |
| is this really "news"? (Score:0, Flamebait) by apocalypse_now (messt66+@die.die.die.pitt.edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:22AM EST (#2) (User Info) http://matt.vegan.net/ |
| Come on, so a large number of the people reading /. can't get laid; that does not make this news. A new filter idea, Rob: "Useless love crap" -- Matt Singerman http://matt.vegan.net/ |
| Ok, look, for all you lamers.. (Score:2, Insightful) by Kitsune Sushi (kitsune@darkink.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:30AM EST (#12) (User Info) http://www.darkink.com/~kitsune/ |
..see that second sentence next to "News for Nerds"? The one that says, yeah, "Stuff that Matters"? You'll note that this doesn't say "Stuff that Matters to", say, "Kitsune Sushi". I may not care about half or more of the "crap" that gets posted to Slashdot. It matters to someone, though, or else it wouldn't have gotten posted. Not everything on this site is news. Or do you think Ask Slashdot is all about the latest uber geek news? heh. ~ Kish If you have something intelligent to say, you'll log in or get moderated up so I can read it. Otherwise, you're wasting your time. |
| What an idiot. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:28PM EST (#496) |
If you have something intelligent to say, you'll log in or get moderated up so I can read it. Otherwise, you're wasting your time.
|
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:2, Interesting) by zuvembi (zuvembi@mindless.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:34AM EST (#17) (User Info) |
| I usually like Roblimo stuff but, umm... no. I actually found this sort of offensive. Some of us don't have any problem with women, and even if we did, probably wouldn't want to take advice from random editors on /. Contrary to popular myth, some computer people are actually well socialized people who enjoy the company of other people. I don't mean to be offensive, but I think the thing that stroked me the wrong way was it had a patronizing tone to it. I know it was not meant/written that way, but it felt like it. "I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest." -Alexandre Dumas |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:3, Interesting) by PRSmith on Sunday October 24, @11:45AM EST (#35) (User Info) |
| Well, I don't think it was patronizing. Unnecessary perhaps. The issues aren't a cultural anomoly in geekdom.... It's systemic. I don't think his article meant to challenge whether or not geeks were doable on the carnal adventure scale, but rather to point out (and thus reduce needless suffering) that the geek profile for wanting "geek girls" hurts you culturally as a defined social group of men. ..because you miss out, probably because ultimately you tend to declassify non-geek fielded female intellectuals as being less or silly or ___... you fill in the blanks. I like the concept of not being able to change source code... and just live with it. Okay, so he could have said... "Guys, quite you're whining... moaning and quite wasting your non-work lives on mainlining your computer 24/7... there be women in those trees, and a whole lot more fun than computers (no, say it isn't so!) in their own different ways.... Let it feel some way knew, and pleasurable. Signed, Phoenix : Female,artist/writer and recovering from two ex-geek husbands (guys of some note and coding fame!) |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:1) by zuvembi (zuvembi@mindless.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:02PM EST (#67) (User Info) |
| Hmmm, I hadn't thought about that point. I suppose that is a valid point. I guess I would have been less quick to find fault if it had been an article on why geek girls may not really be what will make you happy. If he had cut out the last 1/2 I suppose I would have been perfectly happy reading it. I know my wife is a luddite, she really doesn't like using them too much. When the talk among our friends turns to computers she often starts feigning death, which usually makes us turn the conversation elsewhere. But we have plenty of other interests/activities in common. "I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest." -Alexandre Dumas |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:1) by Darkwind on Sunday October 24, @11:52AM EST (#43) (User Info) |
| This article I am sure wasn't meant to be offensive. It was simply to help out those geeks out there who do need a little advice in the love department. It does /NOT/ say that every geek who reads /. has trouble with love, nor does it say that you have to read every article. The title itself says that it is his advice for lovelorn geeks. If you aren't a lovelorn geek, you don't have to read it. This was of course not meant to flame, but simply to help enlighten those who think that every article is directed at them. If the article is your thing, that's fantastic. If not, don't worry about it much, it wasn't meant for you. |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:2, Insightful) by roblimo (roblimo.nojunk@slashdot.org) on Sunday October 24, @12:06PM EST (#73) (User Info) http://andovernews.com/bio_miller.html |
| A Clue: this article is listed under our "It's funny. Laugh" topic. Sure, there's truth in it, but please try not to take it too seriously. - Robin |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:1) by zuvembi (zuvembi@mindless.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:19PM EST (#92) (User Info) |
| Sorry, I think the hangover's impairing my humour subroutine. I'll try and be a little slower with the reply button next time. "I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest." -Alexandre Dumas |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:1) by zuvembi (zuvembi@mindless.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:06PM EST (#74) (User Info) |
| I know it wasn't meant to be offensive, I just said it rubbed me the wrong way. You're probably right that I'm just being over-sensitive and should have just gone to the next article. "I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest." -Alexandre Dumas |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:1) by w3woody (woody@alumni.caltech.edu) on Sunday October 24, @12:00PM EST (#63) (User Info) http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~woody |
| Look: some of us may be well socialized. (I think I do pretty damn good in the social department myself.) But most of the computer geeks I know (along with the physics geeks and math geeks from my alma mater) aren't the best socialized group of geeks around. Honestly, the most common question I've heard from my geek friends is not "how do I configure a NIC to work with my Compaq under RedHat" or "what do I watch out for when writing portable software using C" but "how do I get a girlfriend." I don't need advise on how to cool my CPU after clock-chipping, but I don't begrudge the news article on /. which covered that topic. |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:1) by Mawbid (hawk/gagarin/is) on Sunday October 24, @12:07PM EST (#75) (User Info) http://gagarin.is |
| Stangely enough, it didn't feel that way to me. I say strangely because it's amazing that something that can be headlined as "Married Man Sets Geeks Straight About Girls" could possibly be anything but patronising to geeks. Instead, it felt like well-meant, sincere, fatherly advice. Thanks, Robin. -- Fuck the system? Nah, you might catch something. |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:1) by Schmam (schmam@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:10PM EST (#82) (User Info) |
I agree with you to some extent that this is patronizing. There are many of us who, though possessing enough technical knowledge to be considered a 'geek,' have enough social skill to get along in any setting. However, there are many, many /.'ers that need all the help they can get. I think that the author did a good job of just being friendly and helpful to these folks. |
| offensive (Score:1) by cebe on Sunday October 24, @06:27PM EST (#391) (User Info) |
| I agree... this really offended me as well. Any of my online guy pals that are reading this and know who I am are probably saying "uh oh... here she goes..." well where shall I begin... "Dont waste your time on geek girls" yeah boys.. take his advice.. and then when your wife divorces you because you wont give her the attention you give your computer... you'll want someone who "understands you... you and all your passions combined" When you want affection... if it's meant to be.. she wont be coding and posting on slashdot.. she'll recognize this and let go of the keyboard. in a nutshell.. As a "geek girl" I feel so encredibly stereotyped. Don't you want someone who would get excited when you come home with 50 feet of cat5 and say "Lets wire this house to the tilt" Or do you want someone that would say "wtf is that... you're not putting those ugly wires all over my house" Bottom line.. in the long run... you need to be able to share your main passion with that other person. next item: "I've gone out with more than a few "hot babes" in my time and I generally found them to be more trouble than they were worth." This is saying a few things... if you're good looking.. you are not relationship material. Whether its baggage.. or conceit, or a lack of brains.... I can't believe you have taken the issue of looks and said all hot people are "like this" I like to think of myself as a pretty good looking girl... I work out 5 times a week... I have blonde hair... definatly no lack of options... but my degree is the most important thing to me right now. I couldnt be bothered dating (not to mention.. theres only one geek for me) I have enough trouble getting people to listen to me... and its people like you that are the cause of it. People see me and assume I dont know shit about computers... and when I tell them im an information systems major their jaw drops. I can't remember the last time I walked into a computer store and recieved help from someone that worked there. If you want some real advice guys... here it is.. The biggest reason I have turned down geeks is one simple thing... Self-esteem. I've met some really incredible people... but I cant stand being around someone with no self-esteem. Instead of buying PC Gamer next month... pick up a Cosmo instead. You'll learn more than you ever wanted to know. Oh.. and don't stereotytpe people. If you see a geek girl or a playboy model.. dont remember anything you have read here... find out for yourself if you would enjoy that person. Sorry this is so long but arrrgh... you really got my panties in a bunch :) Canadians are people too :P -Fnord ShinGouki Mastah :) |
| Re:offensive (Score:1) by cebe on Sunday October 24, @06:49PM EST (#401) (User Info) |
| and as for "old fashioned girls"... cooking.. cleaning... wiping your ass well I'm not even going to go there... but in that one sentence.. you lost my respect. They may be out there... but wheres their individuality? well... besides surrendering it over to the morman church... I'd say this is THE 90's! but come on... I thought our society was past all of this. decide what it is you want in a girl... a baby popping dishwasher or someone that will be able to survive if you died tommorrow. ok now I'm done... i think :) Canadians are people too :P -Fnord ShinGouki Mastah :) |
| Re:offensive (Score:1) by B1FF (R00T@I27.O.O.I) on Sunday October 24, @11:54PM EST (#537) (User Info) ftp://127.0.0.1/ |
| > but come on... I thought our society was past all of this. H4 H4 H4 H4!!!!!!11 S0C13TY 1Z P4$T TH1$?!?! G3T 4 CLU3, L4DY: S0C13TY D03ZN"T G3T B3TT3R W1TH 4G3. P33PL3 4R3 G3TT1NG DUMB3R 4$ $0C13TY 4DV4NC3S. 1 $T4ND B4 U 4Z 4 PR1M3 3X4MPL3 0F TH4 21st C3NTURY D00D. T4K3 TH4T H0W3V3R U W1$H. S0 1F Y0U 3V3R N33D SUM G00D L0V1N" FR0M 4 GUY WH0 H4Z 4LL TH3 L8est W3R3Z, JU$T G1MM3 4 J1NGL3 && 1"LL G1V3 U R00T, B4BY!!!11 000H, Y34H!!!!11 (And, just to break character for a moment: I agree with Biff about society being past this. I really think that if you look around, you'll see a trend of people surrenduring their free will and taking the easy way out from thinking. The mass media and the authoritarian governments, regardless of their intentions, are really starting to have some sad effects on youngsters brains... Talk to a 12 year old some time, and see how they compare to the people you remember when you were 12. It's sobering. Give us a few more decades, and USA will be ready for arranged marriages.) :WQ :wq ------ ------ ------ ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1 ------ ------ ------ ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1 |
| Cosmo??!!! (Score:1) by Jasn on Monday October 25, @03:53PM EST (#700) (User Info) |
| Wow ... I was nearly taken in by this otherwise thoughtful, trenchant commentary, until the advice to check out COSMO! Yeah, that's done a lot for the healthy socialization of women ... creating the attitude that great sex is not only a woman's right but likely the most important thing to a loving relationship, and repeatedly suggesting that the "right man" is something to be bagged/trapped rather than dealt with on even terms. I can only conclude that this is a stealthy post (from a spy for 'their' side (g)) masquerading as good advice, but actually designed to take a generation of geeks out of the dating pool by getting them to cater to the lowest common denominator of relationshipdom ... and urging them to shape their conversational topics to fit the "Cosmo girl's" extremely limited universe. |
| Re:Cosmo??!!! (Score:1) by cebe on Monday October 25, @05:57PM EST (#708) (User Info) |
| I enjoyed that :) I was talking more about the "confessions of real women" and "sex secrets" part of the issues.. but you have such a valid point and clear definition of "cosmo" I cant help but sit here and grin. Canadians are people too :P -Fnord ShinGouki Mastah :) |
| Re:is this really "news"? (Score:1, Offtopic) by Tau (Thomas.george@connect-2.co.uk) on Sunday October 24, @12:02PM EST (#69) (User Info) |
| Is the star wars stuff really news??? The fact that it would be found interesting by a lot of /.ers surely warrents this to be posted? |
| THIS POST WAS ___NOT___ OFFTOPIC!!! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:23AM EST (#633) |
| see the subject |
| dude (Score:2, Funny) by kfort (kirk@patrohn.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:24AM EST (#3) (User Info) |
| this is like the coolest thing I have ever seen. I suspected most of this anyway, but roblimo is like the masta hacker pimp. |
| Pimps rock (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:04PM EST (#353) |
| I love being a pimp.. I'll tell ya, my best whores do nothing but geeks. Geeks are great moneny makers... Sex hungry, wealthy, and timid. Usually a dirty look from one of my girls is enough to finishem off. Gotta love it. |
| Women. (Score:3, Insightful) by Signal 11 (signal11@mediaone.net?Subject=Slashdot) on Sunday October 24, @11:25AM EST (#4) (User Info) http://www.malign.net |
| I would like to remind everyone that there is no universal answer for finding Mr. or Ms. Perfect. Even though geeks at large are a homogenious group, there can be no easy answer. Best advice I, and likely anyone, can offer you is to ask yourself what you're looking for in a relationship, and then set out to find someone that meets your expectations. Do you want somebody who's witty, charming? Or just looks good? Be realistic too - like shopping for your next computer you can't get all the peripherals and addons you'd like.. so keep in mind what you really need, and what "would be nice". Everybody wants Cindy Crawford with all the addons and a 180 IQ... Just a reality check for all of you out there. I'd like to hear what both sexes are looking for in the geek community... I suspect the answers will suprise both sides. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by garibald on Sunday October 24, @11:42AM EST (#31) (User Info) |
| Well don't know about anyone else, but i'm looking for a reasonably intelligent woman, one who doesn't have to ask me what i'm talking about every two minutes, and i don't mean computers, just general conversation, and have an average appearance, otherwise doesn't require a paper bag accessory when going out. Of course, the understanding about priorities is also important, school has to come first. |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:11PM EST (#383) |
| The smart ones are out there too, I got one. She has this thing of online IQ Tests to top it off and I have learned a long time ago,not to partake in this little hobby of hers, because she does score higher than me. But I make all the money and we do have a happy life. |
| heh. (Score:2, Insightful) by Kitsune Sushi (kitsune@darkink.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:51AM EST (#41) (User Info) http://www.darkink.com/~kitsune/ |
I would like to remind everyone that there is no universal answer for finding Mr. or Ms. Perfect. Even though geeks at large are a homogenious group, there can be no easy answer. "Homogenius": a deft play on words, or a spelling error in desperate need of correction? You be the judge. Seriously, though, I have to disagree that geeks as a group compare to a certain kind of milk. =P It all depends on the chemistry of your personality, really. I, for example, enjoy all sorts of creative thought, love to write (poetry, prose, song lyrics, whatever), roleplay, drool for long periods of time while playing around on the net (er.. oops.. didn't mean to add that one), etc. I would probably think myself to be in some sort of hell if I fell in love with someone else interested in programming, but brilliant, creative women.. That I can relate to.. and enjoy doing so. Do you want somebody who's witty, charming? Or just looks good? I'd like to assert that if you're looking for someone who just looks good, getting into a relationship with that person is a bad idea. After all, if you're only interested in the material, and that feeling is probably being reciprocated (or else the girl/guy is a sucker), then you probably don't want to be mutually exclusive. =P Be realistic too - like shopping for your next computer you can't get all the peripherals and addons you'd like.. so keep in mind what you really need, and what "would be nice". Everybody wants Cindy Crawford with all the addons and a 180 IQ... They do..? *falls out of his chair, woozy, starting to look a little ill..* Personally, I don't need nor want a rocket scientist, and so long as the girl is "cute", I'm not likely to obsess over aesthetics. After all, I'm looking for personality, not just.. well, heh. The thing I find most distasteful about looking for dates in the real world is you're obviously going to be drawn to who you find the most attractive, which is rather unlikely to be the person who's personality you're going to find the most agreeable, compatible, attractive, etc. Just a reality check for all of you out there. I'd like to hear what both sexes are looking for in the geek community... I suspect the answers will suprise both sides. Your wish.. is my command.. This could take a while, however, so I'm not going to include it in this comment. ;) ~ Kish If you have something intelligent to say, you'll log in or get moderated up so I can read it. Otherwise, you're wasting your time. |
| Re:heh. (Score:1) by Signal 11 (signal11@mediaone.net?Subject=Slashdot) on Sunday October 24, @01:35PM EST (#207) (User Info) http://www.malign.net |
| "Homogenius": a deft play on words, or a spelling error in desperate need of correction? You be the judge. Or maybe i and o are right next to each other on a qwerty-style keyboard and my finger slipped? :) Sometimes the simplest explanation is the best one. |
| qwerty... (Score:1) by cdlu (canada@spamless.geecs.org) on Sunday October 24, @04:04PM EST (#309) (User Info) http://eddie.cis.uoguelph.ca/~canada |
| use dvorak then :) aoeui instead of yuiop for the confusing letters :) [3] + Stopped /root/slashdot |
| Women? Hah. (Score:3, Insightful) by the_tsi (wNiOlSlPiAeM@perigee.net) on Sunday October 24, @11:52AM EST (#45) (User Info) |
| Yeah, like most geeks know what they're looking for in a relationship? They may think that they want someone who's obsessed with computers, star wars, RPGs, but how interesting is a relationship like that going to be? And how many of them are going to come to that realization before they realize "wow, this chick slept with me, I think I'll marry her"? Or, how many get crushes (on that goth girl at the next table at lunch (and convince themselves that's a perfect person since they have so much to talk about that's different and so much to share), and end up dating them for several months only to come to the realization that there's not a single thing holding the relationship together than "gee, this girl and I have nothing to talk about and nothing to do together, since we live in completely different worlds." Geeks DON'T know what they want in a relationship, which is why most of their relationships blow chunks (or never even get started, for that matter). And a guide on "How To Be a Normal Human Being 101 by Roblimo, Master of Suaveness" isn't going to help them get to grips with the fact that the REAL secret to successful relationships is to: GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GET OUT THERE AND START TALKING TO PEOPLE. Things will happen from there. If you're in high school, sign up for clubs besides Math Team, Quiz Bowl, and the Honor Society. Join a sport (track is always recruiting), or the theatre group (and don't just be a techie, TRY out for a part, for Pete's sake), or anything artsy. If you're in college, go to meetings besides the comic/sci-fi/fantasy club. While Killer and Magic: The Gathering may be a great game to play on weekends, there are much more fun ways to be spending your time that involve the Real World. -Chris |
| Re:Women? Hah. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:01PM EST (#65) |
| Dude, if i didn't know any better i'd say someone is a little bitter about some closer-to-real-life-than-hypothetical-situation relationships described in the above post. |
| Re:Women? Hah. (Score:1) by gromm on Sunday October 24, @08:41PM EST (#452) (User Info) |
| > And a guide on "How To Be a Normal Human Being 101 by Roblimo, Master of Suaveness" isn't going to help them get to grips with the fact that the REAL secret to successful relationships is to: > [etc] Heh. Why the hell would I want to be a Normal Human Being (tm)? I've observed such people in their natural environment, and it made me want to puke. At least where I live, Normal Human Males are ignorant twits who keep each other in line by constantly and brutally questioning each other's manliness. (the word "faggot" is used frequently, although I doubt they're able to spell it right.) These guys also happen to be the 90% that swarm to the 10% in the bars. Figure out why. >Things will happen from there. If you're in high school, sign up for clubs besides Math Team, Quiz Bowl, and the Honor Society. Join a sport (track is always recruiting), Oh boy. Competitive sports. Just the thing I always wanted to do with my time, and the thing I've always been so good at. (really.) As an added bonus, you get to hang out with a bunch of athletic guys in smelly locker rooms. For me at least, locker rooms give me flashbacks of the most horrible bits of my high school years, and probably have the same effect on most other geeks too. >or the theatre group (and don't just be a techie, TRY out for a part, for Pete's sake), or anything artsy. _This_ is the only good suggestion you've given. And although I know few geeks that have any acting talent whatsoever, I've known many artistic types with whom I've gotten along with very well indeed, and were even halfway geeky sorts. IMHO, hanging out with artists is a Good Thing for probably a lot of geeks. And many of them share a lot of the same interests as we do. (outside of computers and science, of course. :) |
| Re:Women? Hah. (Score:1) by divbyzero (divbyzero@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:37PM EST (#529) (User Info) |
>> or the theatre group (and don't just be a techie, TRY out for a part, for Pete's sake), or anything artsy. > _This_ is the only good suggestion you've given. And although I know few geeks that have any acting talent whatsoever, I've known many artistic types with whom I've gotten along with very well indeed, and were even halfway geeky sorts. Hmm, the last play I acted in, the lead worked for Applix. I'm a coder at AltaVista. One of my coworkers there is also a pro-quality ballet dancer. The list goes on and on... When you're talking about college/community theatre or any other recreational (non-professional) form of the arts, you're actually very likely to find a high number of geeks. The type of talent and creativity it takes to be a good programmer often (though not necessarily) corresponds very closely to the type of talent it takes to be an artist or musician; dramatic acting is not a far way off. Warning... beginning to philosophise here... As for being able to successfully communicate with non-geeks, I've never found it to be a problem. Sure I've dealt with jocks who were jerks. But I've also dealt with geeks who were jerks, and had jocks as friends. I've even known people who could be considered both jocks and geeks simultaneously. And that doesn't even begin to address the other common cliques under which people are labeled (like artists, or motorheads, or hippies, or the appearance-obsessed, or whatever). I'm too realistic to say that all cliques are a evil idea, and we should only have a single global community. Of course, it's nice to have a group of friends with whom you share at least one defining personality trait. My point is that it is very possible (and has always come naturally for me) for a single person to be a member of multiple communities or cliques. It keeps you balanced, and avoids the whole "us versus them" mentality that leads to incidents like Columbine. I find the whole stereotyping that routinely goes on at Slashdot to be rather ridiculous. The percentage of socially inept techies I've met in my life is pretty much equal to the percentage of socially inept people who don't revel in computers. I'm fairly curious to see how many folks here actually believe they fit the unofficial Slashdot stereotype. I for one consider myself far more well-rounded, with extremely different views about women, etc. I still consider myself a member of the Slashdot community and continue to read the site because I enjoy its technical, literary, and occasionally its political aspects, but almost never its social commentary. Hey CT, how about that for a poll? -- Div. But my grandest creation, as history will tell, Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell. |
| Re:Women? Hah. (Score:1) by Sloppy (sloppy@spam^H^H^H^Hrt66.com) on Monday October 25, @12:22AM EST (#548) (User Info) |
GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GET OUT THERE AND START TALKING TO PEOPLE. When you get right down to it, that is the reason I have been "between girlfriends" (and not in the "sandwich" sense ;-) for quite some time. I don't have a problem with the chicks once I learn their names, but I almost never meet them. (Also, I never meet guys either. All my friends are "old" friends from school days.) Nor am I willing to do what it takes to change that. Fuck "being normal" because I already have my own way of being. I'm not gonna start going to bars, or asking out waitresses (or anyone else where there's a vendor/customer relationship), and I learned a long time ago to keep outta co-workers' pants, especially the married ones. ;-) When a chick falls into my lap due to strange circumstance, we'll make the best of things. That's slow going, but it's still better than selling out. I just don't understand guys who whine about not having a girlfriend. If you really want one, and you're willing to do what it takes, it's not that hard. It's just a question of values and priorities -- what you want out of life. Cater to a biologically pre-programmed agenda, or your own? In my case, if after I've taken over the planet, if I haven't snagged a chick yet, then maybe I'll go girl-hunting. :-) --- Have a Sloppy night! |
| Re:Women? Hah. (Score:1) by crm0922 on Monday October 25, @02:31AM EST (#577) (User Info) |
| When you get right down to it, that is the reason I have been "between girlfriends" (and not in the "sandwich" sense ;-) for quite some time. I don't have a problem with the chicks once I learn their names, but I almost never meet them. .(Also, I never meet guys either. All my friends are "old" friends from school days.) Nor am I willing to do what it takes to change that. Fuck "being normal" because I already have my own way of being. I'm not gonna start going to bars, or asking out waitresses (or anyone else where there's a vendor/customer relationship), and I learned a long time ago to keep outta co-workers' pants, especially the married ones. ;-) When a chick falls into my lap due to strange circumstance, we'll make the best of things. That's slow going, but it's still better than selling out. I just don't understand guys who whine about not having a girlfriend. If you really want one, and you're willing to do what it takes, it's not that hard. It's just a question of values and priorities -- what you want out of life. Cater to a biologically pre-programmed agenda, or your own? In my case, if after I've taken over the planet, if I haven't snagged a chick yet, then maybe I'll go girl-hunting. :-) Whoa...this pretty much sums up how I feel as well. I do go out often enough (alcohol==good), but never with the express purpose of "snagging" a woman. I have had plenty of relationships here and there, but only with those women who have "fallen into my lap." Or more accurately, those who I have hit it off with immediately. Incidently, I consider each of them quite intelligent and physically attractive, and each for different reasons. That is the beauty of waiting for the chance matchup. I nearly never meet new girls (or guys), despite going out often, for the same reasons, I keep to myself unless I am in a situation where meeting someone is natural and we can act like we do in real life. I agree, you are selling out if you run out of the house every Friday with CK all over yourself to go rub up against women at a club until one will sleep with you. I could never act that way, and I find that if you make yourself visible (go visit old friends, go places alone, hang out with your siblings, etc.) but act normally, something will come along. Like recently, I met a famale who I hit off with instantly. Too bad she had a boyfriend and lives far away. It'll happen again, preferably with no boyfriend. Oh yeah, and make female friend-friends. They will instruct you and make you look like an acceptable man by hanging out with you. Its really not that hard, but you really do have to leave the house. Just go somewhere you want to go with people you like, that way you are never let down. Being single rules. Chris |
| Re:Women? Hah. (Score:2, Insightful) by Omnifarious (hopper@omnifarious.mn.org) on Monday October 25, @12:45AM EST (#557) (User Info) http://omnifarious.mn.org/~hopper |
Why should I go out and do a whole big bunch of things I find horribly unpleasant? It seems to me that the fact that I'm obviously uncomfortable would be a huge turnoff. |
| Re:Women? Hah. (Score:1) by CharlieG (Charlie@TheGallos.com) on Monday October 25, @07:14AM EST (#623) (User Info) http://www.thegallos.com |
| Gee, I don't know. WAY back when, this old geek used to play D&D - NO not AD&D, but back when it was three little books that no one had heard of. One day, my best freind brings this girls he's known since she was 4 to a gaming session. Mary ended up liking D&D, and became one of the gang. About 2 years later, we started dating. Folks, that was March 1980. We have a happy little 2 1/2 year old girl who is a total computer nerd (would rather play with the computer than watch TV) |
| Theatre.... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @01:07PM EST (#695) |
| You know, I went to one of them damn theatre things. Before I knew it I was walking out the door with a wife and kids. Go figure. :-) For some reason, people who are in theatre don't tend to form relationships in their own group, but they are usually ridiculously happy people. I found that this is usually just what the standard geeky guy needs. Personality is far more important than anything else in a relationship. Trust me. |
| How long can I make this post..? (Score:2, Redundant) by Kitsune Sushi (kitsune@darkink.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:31PM EST (#104) (User Info) http://www.darkink.com/~kitsune/ |
And will I follow suit after Sig and dispense with my karmic powers..? Hmm. So, enough with the pointless rhetoric: (warning: this post was inspired by Sig's request and done out of total boredom.. if you read this post, you do so at your own risk) To be quite honest, I'm not looking for anything in the ``geek community''. That would be referred to as ``limiting my options''. I look for females in the general population of humanity. I know, it's scary, and difficult to narrow down, much less make a decision, but after a while your filters are pretty finely honed. ;) First I should begin by saying that unlike some others, my first love is not hacking. It's creative thought. I do a lot of writing, though only when I feel moved to for some reason or another. With regards to song lyrics or poetry, it's only when I'm feeling especially emotional (my best stuff is rather depressing, but hey). I also like developing game worlds, characters, creatures, just about anything that has to do with the inner workings of an rpg. Naturally this is an extension of the fact that I used to like writing stories more than I do now. :) That said, it is indeed a necessity that the person I am likely to want to spend a significant amount of life with would have to share a number of interests with me. It sort of has to be that way, or else you can't really relate to one another. However, those who really have no other interests besides programming are true computer geeks, and really need to get a life. And yeah, there's a big difference between hackers, programmers, and computer geeks. =P (for me, personally, I wouldn't want a programmer (or related term) because the other key topics of interest for me are more of a requirement, and if they were a programmer or whatever on top of that as well, we'd probably be too damn similar.. which is not so good.. disclaimer: this has never been tested in practice, only in theory) I am most attracted to those women who take a great interest in creative things, such as writing, roleplaying (I can even deal with those who like to play Magic, even though I personally detect the game ;) -- especially White Wolf stuff, and anything else that involves being imaginative. I also happen to be extremely emotional, and have a rather off sense of humor. So another requirement is that the woman in question sort of has to grasp my sense of humor (which is exemplified by the fact that I've seen Army of Darkness between 500 and 1000 times, and am still not sick of it.. how I managed to find a woman who has done the same is really mind-boggling.. other good examples would be Squee! and JTHM by Jhonen Vasquez.. both are really good), and must be supportive, patient, and understanding. And since my tastes are rather rarified, and I'm also rather sensitive, I have trouble dealing with women who are overly abrasive, or uncaring. I like nice, sweet girls. This is not to say that I mind profanity (who the fuck does? you can, however, get too vulgar at times.. I don't like to feel ill ;), or that I'm some sort of prim and proper type (actually, I prefer those who are rather daring, and am a classic example of a good number of ``counter culture'' values). Perhaps this part is too hard for me to explain? However, while I disdain the thought of chasing after other hacker types, I must admit that anyone who is completely clueless with a computer is not likely to be someone I can relate to on a long-term basis. They don't have to be some sort of uber geek who sits around on the Internet for extended periods of time amassing huge collections of.. ok, screw that explanation. Point is, the girl should at least be familiar with a computer as a user. I don't care if they can program the damn thing, but.. you know. (after all, I spend a good deal of time with my computer, so I might be bothered by the idea of a complete and total lack of interest/cluefulness with regards to what I'm doing.. it's sort of boring to be excited about something you saw on the net and have no one to say anything about it to :) First and foremost, however, I expect honesty. I'm almost unnaturally direct and honest about just about everything, and I don't take well to being lied to. Truth and honor.. things that are too often forgotten in this world of ours. Broken promises and out and out lies are the two most common reasons for me ditching a girl. ;) To sum it up, intelligence and personality are the two key ``umbrella'' qualities. As long as the woman is ``cute'', it doesn't matter too much how attractive they are physically, because attractiveness is determined by their overall personality (which is not overshadowed by their appearance unless they are flat out repulsive.. this is an unfortunate fact.. I wish it weren't so, but the truth is there). Basically, I sort of need someone with whom I can actually talk to (``dumb'' girls (or guys, for that matter) simply aren't very intellectually stimulating, and a long term relationship.. it's just not there..), and who actually cares about me (duh). Ok, screw it again. I'm tired of explaining this (you can tell I didn't write this in a linear fashion.. hee hee). I'll just sum up my general thoughts of the article with a couple of key points: You should find someone who appreciates you for who you are, and whom you appreciate for who they are. You find who you are meant for, you don't change others or yourself to suit the other. The puzzle fits together, or it doesn't. Plain and simple. Having around a half to 2/3 or even 3/4 the same common interests is ok. Having less or more.. probably bad. You want to be able to relate to one another and also be interested and intrigued in one another. You want to be with someone you can talk to, not someone with whom you feel like you're talking to yourself. All in all, ``Roblammo'' brought up some good points, and a lot of poor ones. I won't bother going through the article line by line, however.. I just don't have the time and/or inclination. Ha! (I'm not even editing this post.. fear) ~ Kish If you have something intelligent to say, you'll log in or get moderated up so I can read it. Otherwise, you're wasting your time. |
| Re:How long can I make this post..? (Score:1) by gromm on Sunday October 24, @08:51PM EST (#453) (User Info) |
| YES! This is it exactly! :D I wish I had something else to put in, but Kish has already summed the whole thing up. :D |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:15PM EST (#176) |
| Just a note. Cindy was a straight A student in hs, and was studying Chemical Engineering at Northwestern before her modeling career took off ... what ever happened. |
| (mouth agape) (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @04:42AM EST (#598) |
| Wow. Chemical engineering. I never would have guessed. I would have figured something like child development. Interesting, thanks. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:25PM EST (#192) |
| If you would like to hear what this female geek is looking for in a guy, here it goes. In a geek guy, I am looking for intelligence, as well as the ability to appreciate intelligent women (otherwise I don't qualify. :-)) I am interested in people who like thinking. People who enjoy generating ideas and sharing them with me. Another quality that is equally important to me is the guy's ability to accept and like introverted women. Being strongly introverted, I noticed that, for a woman, that's a major drawback when it comes to dating. It's worse than lack of good looks. Apparently the prevalent stereotype still dictates that women should be outgoing, sociable, talkative and "bubbly" -- even the geek guys adhere to those stereotypes when choosing dating partners. My ideal geek guy would be able to challenge this misconception by accepting and appreciating a quiet, introverted, introspective woman -- that would be a sign of a nonconformist mind that attracts me so much. Alas, I am not the kind of "ideal" woman that roblimo described. Perhaps it explains why I had so little luck in relationships. He seems to be against women who actually enjoy programming -- but I enjoy it quite a bit. Maybe I am naive in my thinking that working on "pet" programming projects could be a perfect way to spend a "quiet evening at home" with a significant other. |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:02PM EST (#308) |
| Had you not posted anonymously, I bet your email would be overflowing by now. Really, you sound like exactly the type of woman I'd like to meet. Granted I'm nowhere near as successful as roblimo in this area, but I'd much rather have a relationship with a geek girl than some circa-1950s woman who subordinates herself to her man. Some of my best memories from college were staying up late with my female roommate (not girlfriend), hacking Java code or making web pages. A major problem, of course, is that by definition it is very difficult for two introverted people to meet. (Case in point: we're both ACs.) I'd argue being introverted is even worse for a guy than a girl, since we're still expected to make the first move. Oh well. It is definitely good to hear from females such as yourself, just so I don't completely lose hope. |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:14PM EST (#359) |
| It's me again (the female AC). The reason why I didn't post my email was because Slashdot is read by a number of people that I know, and I don't want to reveal my vulnerabilities to them. If you or anybody else may want to reply to me in person, please post your email and I'll write back. And yes, introvertedness makes relationships so much more difficult. Not just in the sense of meeting people, but also in maintaining relationships. The question of whether it is guys or girls that have greater difficulty with being introverted, is a philosophical one. I agree that it may interfere with guys' "obligation" to make the first move, but for women, introvertedness can interfere with the entire role of being female (more exactly, a _stereotypical_ female). Women, after all, are expected to have impeccable social skills, be people-oriented and constantly try to make everybody around them feel good. But it is hardly possible for her to make an impression of a friendly, warm and caring personality, if she is more interested in the inner world of thoughts and ideas, than the outer world of people and their interactions. OK, I'll stop wasting space on a subject that is not immediately related to the discussion. Suffices to say that from the evolutionary perspective, the humankind apparently tries (unconsciously rather than consciously) to eliminate introvertedness as an undesirable trait, by marginalizing its introverted members and therefore making it hard for them to meet, maintain relationships and procreate. Just semi-kidding. :-) |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:48PM EST (#372) |
| Male AC here. defenestrate14@hotmail.com. I'd definitely enjoy talking to you. |
| match.slashdot.org (Score:1) by Beethoven (spam@john-edwin-tobey.org) on Sunday October 24, @06:11PM EST (#382) (User Info) http://john-edwin-tobey.org/ |
Thank you for an encouraging post. Before Slashdot, I assumed I was too unlike anyone else to be any woman's "type". After becoming a regular, I quickly realized how many are JUST LIKE ME. But I still doubted that my own "type" of woman existed... until now. I agree with you entirely about introverts' troubles with meeting one another, especially when they want to meet other introverts. Which I do, btw. I still kinda suspect you are a rarity in that you like to program. I took up programming (after 6 years away) for the express purpose of draining off the excess sex drive. Now I've been wondering what will happen to my career if I find Ms Right. Oh, and since this thread seems to be developing into a Slashdot dating service (yay!!), let me point out that a couple of turnoffs are people who own dogs (not that I dislike dogs, just wouldn't want to live with one) and attachment to one's automobile. (I prefer not to own a car, living in the city.) (Cambridge, Mass. to be precise.) |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:13PM EST (#385) |
| Hearing from you would be a wonderful experience. I am not the guy who has already replied to your post, but my e-mail address is eternaldarkness@lynchburg.net if you wish to contact me. I will say more there that I would rather not here. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Mock (kstenerud@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @09:45PM EST (#473) (User Info) |
| And yes, introvertedness makes relationships so much more difficult. Not just in the sense of meeting people, but also in maintaining relationships. The strange thing is, being introverted myself, I am able to lay my soul bare in text, but completely shut myself in if it comes to a face-to-face encounter. I'm glad to hear that there are indeed women out there who enjoy thought (There are so few people who think to begin with). My roommate is one of those few who can think, but since he's male and we're not gay, I must continue my search =) |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Ventilator (ventilator@paradio.ch) on Monday October 25, @11:07AM EST (#673) (User Info) http://www.mp3.com/bri |
| The strange thing is, being introverted myself, I am able to lay my soul bare in text, but completely shut myself in if it comes to a face-to-face encounter. I know what you mean, though I don't know, why this is so. Maybe it's because when you do not talk directly to someone else, there is "no immediate danger". Don't know how to describe it otherwise. I too had this problem, but then I just keep in mind that I can't get killed by telling a girl that I find her attractive or by admitting my sympathy. Worst thing that can happen is that you get a rejection. But hey, you wouldn't expect your code to run without errors after the first compiling either. And then, you could always write a letter (by hand of course!) stating that you did not know how she would react if you told her live about your feelings and therefore decided to send her this letter. --- If OS were buildings, then the first woodpecker to come around would erase 95 % of civilization. |
| Re: Women. & Introverts (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @09:53PM EST (#477) |
| (e-mail kkyzivat@cs.uml.edu) I'm another introvert like you and (I suppose) quite a few of us here in geekdom. :) .. I think that I'd have to agree with you, being introverted can be a pain in the neck for meeting people. This is the case for anyone, whether it be a male or a female. I mean, even finding friends can be hard. Fear of rejection plays a big part for me. It would be nice to expand my relationships, but that can be really hard due to the fear of rejection. This fear doesn't just come in to play for me with love relationships, but also for just your plain ol friendship relationships. Males have a particular problem with being forced to be the ones to make the first move (as society has dictated for us), but I'm sure there are some similar problems, like those that you brought up, that have a similarly devasating effect for females. It sure would be a pity to see introverted people weeded out by evolution. |
| Re: Women. & Introverts (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:24PM EST (#494) |
| I can only hope to survive until the time when human intelligence merges with machine intelligence, as in, for example, Ray Kurzweil's book "The Age of Spiritual Machines", or Greg Egan's books. It may come even sooner than we expect... When all our personalities become virtual, they will be "editable", and we will be able to turn ourselves into whatever we want, and edit ourselves back into the original form when the goal of finding a special somebody is met. Then nobody would face extinction, not only introverts but people with bigger personality "handicaps" as well. Wouldn't it be great?... :-) |
| Re:Women. (Score:2) by m3000 (m3000@nospam.tampabay.rr.com) on Sunday October 24, @10:28PM EST (#495) (User Info) http://m3000.1wh.com/linux |
| You don't have to email me, I'm probally too young for you anyway. But I'd just like to say that I understand what your a saying. I'm introverted and when your a teenager, it's hard to deal with that. It was very comforting to read about all these other people who are also like me, and it's given me some confidence. Your comments have also made me more aware of those girls who seem to just sorta fade into the background. Anyway, I'll finish this up with a joke I read on /. a day ago or so: How can you tell an extroverted software engineer? He looks at your shoes when he talks to you. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Atri on Monday October 25, @03:23AM EST (#586) (User Info) |
| I can identify. Being introverted and more then bit shy I have always found it extremely difficult to meet new people and to begin relationships. It usually takes me quite a while to warm up to people enough to relax and feel comfortable enough to actually be myself. Once I get to this point with people they actually realize that I'm not some one-dimensional techno-weenie, but a fairly well rounded person with a level head on his shoulders and a lot of too offer people. But few people ever give you the chance to get to this point! Its always good to know there are other people in the same boat as me. Even though at an intellectual level you know you're not unique in the universe it's damn hard on emotional level to not feel isolated and kind of freakish! At the age of 28 I'd kind of given up the notion of finding someone compatible enough to build any kind of happy long-term relationship with. Reading this makes me think otherwise! Thanx very much for that! |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Atri on Monday October 25, @03:32AM EST (#588) (User Info) |
| Oops forgot (hey it is 4:00am)if you'd like to drop a line my e-mail is: aodatd@yahoo.com |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:25PM EST (#327) |
| I am interested in people who like thinking. Exactly! So few people seem to understand how much pleasure there can be in just thinking. Mental passivity is extremely repugnant to me, but it's a dominant theme in our society. Most people seem content to let their minds slip down the channels carved out by pop culture, not once turning a critical eye on their world, stopping to reinterpret what they see, or attempting to create something new from the elements around and within them. Not everyone is comfortable with a partner who can mentally challenge them, either. I suspect that most people approach potential relationships looking to be both comfortable and excited, but only "excited" in a safe and controllable way. Or to put it another way: the more weird/cranky/independent/introspective you are, the more tolerance you require from any potential partner. I require a lot of tolerance. heh. Introversion is a rough barrier to overcome. Later in a relationship it's great to be able to spend time together without having to constantly interact, esp. on a verbal level, but it takes a lot of security at first to believe that the person you're dating is happy to be with you when he/she doesn't seem to want to interact. Hell, it's hard to even tell if he/she is attracted to you if he/she doesn't say anything. (So speaks the man illiterate in body language) I, personally, cycle between sociability and complete introversion, which drives my girlfriend nuts. Not everone understands that a lack of desire to speak doesn't signify anger/hatred/boredom. Sometimes interaction is just an irritant, no matter how much you care about the other person. Personal space is a big issue in any relationship, and the more you want, the harder it generally seems to be to work things out. Anyway, Miss AC, if you're reading this, don't sweat rob's comments too much. Spending evenings at home working on projects sounds great to me, and I suspect it does to many of the other geeks out there. Not all geek guys are looking for "mama", which is what the women he's describing sound like to me. On a barely-related note: (rambling on) Sex drive and desire for companionship are two separate urges, at least as far as I can tell. The idealized combination of the two seems to be what we term "romantic love". The unfortunate reality in my experience is that while we all have friends who we love dearly but would not want to have sex with, we also meet people with whom we couldn't stand an evening alone, but who cause the primordial lizard king who reigns over the shadowy, fossilized portions of our hindbrain to jump up and down screaming "Screw! Screw! Screw!". I won't go so far as to say that our brains are completely hardwired, and I suspect that most of us have had the experience of becoming more attracted physically to a person as we got to know them better personally, but there's always that first visual and/or verbal impression to deal with. Lots of people end up compromising by pairing up with someone who they find physically attractive and who they can stand living with, but still spend their happiest hours out hanging out with their other friends. It's not the greatest solution, but it seems rather common. Too lazy to log in zeke |
| Re:Women. (Score:2, Informative) by chocolate pi on Sunday October 24, @10:46PM EST (#506) (User Info) |
| I'm a first-year college student, and I've proudly called myself a geekgirl since the first time I heard the term used. What I seem to have noticed in general relationships, not even romantic ones, is that as long as I can be big-eyed and say "uhuh" to whatever someone deigns to give me advice on, and not let on that I've read the manual and the documentation, sometimes I'll get good answers to questions. But the minute they walk into my dorm room and see me happily coding away or [oh horrors] playing Quake, I become an intimidating presence. It's the old "She's smart for a woman, how'd she get that way" bit again. Yes, I am introverted, but the coolest guys I meet are too. The best conversations I've had since Orientation all began "FreeBSD or Linux?" or "What'd you think of Ender's Game?", never "Where're you from?" or "What's your major?" I don't think I'm that threatening, either as a girl/woman or as a geek, so smile and say hi! just my random thoughts... |
| Question. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @12:05AM EST (#543) |
| I have a question to ask other 'geek girls'. am I the only one who has problems with the misconception that I'm just 'one of the guys'. Because of my interests in programming, hardware and gaming most men I've run into think of me as some sort of exception to women (essentially, they see me as an oddity, as a guy in a woman's body). Is this typical among 'geek girls' or am I indeed just an oddity? |
| Re:Question. (Score:1) by treat on Monday October 25, @12:51AM EST (#560) (User Info) |
| I think it's typical, it's how I treat geek girls, and it's one of the reasons I like to be around them. You're the first I've heard complain, every other time I have heard a girl talk about how they're considered "just one of the guys", they consider it quite positive. Don't think of it as being considered an oddity, or a guy in a woman's body. Think of it as being regarded as highly as a male could possibly think of a female. |
| Just one of the guys (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @02:44AM EST (#578) |
| Oh yeah, all of the time. I've even had some of the guys I work with tell me that. Kind of crushing to an occasionally traditional geek gal (so I'd like a guy ... what's wrong with that?) who sees other geeks as being her type. Now I just work on trying not to like any of the guys I work with (at least in that way). Too frustrating! |
| Re:Question. (Score:1) by chialea (chialea@hotmail.com) on Monday October 25, @03:00AM EST (#580) (User Info) http://169.229.85.118/ |
| I've had the same problem. ordinarily, it's not a problem at all, but when the guy you're semi-dating says "I think of you as a guy" you've really got to wonder if you need to start wearing tighter shirts or something. actually, most guys I know now seem to realize instantly that I'm female and STILL be able to hold an intellegent conversation with me without drooling! that's the happy medium I've been going for :) (especially since I've got my own geekguy -- and I only need one, thank you very much) on a side note, a lot of guyfriends pointed out this article and made offended noises to me. so it's not just dem women who are getting mad... Lea |
| Re:Question. (Score:1) by Harri on Monday October 25, @05:22AM EST (#607) (User Info) |
| Yep. In most cases I'm quite glad... The solution for me: I met my (geek) guy while pursuing a completely different interest, not quite so gender biased. Trying this approach tends to weed out those geeks who are TOO obsessed for their own (and your) good. If you care. |
| Re:Question. (Score:1) by deacent on Monday October 25, @08:32AM EST (#639) (User Info) |
No, you're not an oddity. It can be frustrating to be seen as something other than "just one of the guys" when you really want a romantanic relationship. Especially when the guys that you're hanging with (or at least a subset of them) are the ones you consider datable. The good news is that a romantic relationship is possible. The bad news is that you have to overcome the introvertedness and let them know in no uncertain terms that you're interested. You might risk losing that person as a friend, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I ended up marrying my best friend, but I had to kiss him one night, just out of the blue. We had a very close, platonic relationship at the time, so I'm not recommending this for everyone, but it felt right at the time. -Jennifer |
| Re:Question. (Score:1) by hcannon on Monday October 25, @10:31AM EST (#654) (User Info) |
| Absolutely. On the other hand, as a 'geekgirl', I'm a bit of an oddity in that I dress up, wear makeup, etc. which leads people who first meet me to assume that I'm tech-illiterate. I've read some of the other responses, which indicate other geekgirls who like that they're thought of as one of they guys. Yes, I like that too in that there's much less fakeness involved in my friendships with the guys. They don't try to impress me or avoid making the kinds of jokes they make with other guys, etc. But! HELLO! I *am* female. I *am* interested in dating. And I'm picky - I pretty much only WANT to date the "geeks". Yet, they complain to me about not being able to find a girlfriend and it doesn't even seem to occur to them that here I am, very similar to they type of woman they're saying they're looking for. It's weird. It's irritating. I agree with the original poster who "blames" some of the problem on being introverted, too. Oh well. |
| Re:Question. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:48AM EST (#664) |
| No, I have the opposite reaction. Guys see me as an exception as well; but it seems to be of the 'redheaded goddess' variety. (Only the redheaded part has anything to do with reality.) I think you probably are exceptional; I've never found another woman into gaming! Except on /., of course... |
| confidence, self respect (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @12:58PM EST (#692) |
| No, you are certainly not the only one in the world, but you might be the only one within 100 miles. :) :) Only 15% CS students are women. I'd say about 1/4 of that are true geeks. That's 3.75 in 100 students! And your average CS department graduates about 30-70 (probably no more than 100) students a year. That yeilds 1-3 hardcore geek girls like yourself in your year in your college. Therefore the other 85% -- CS geek guys see you as an oddity, as an exception to women. Because they probably haven't had the chance to meet more of us. But let me ask you -- how do YOU view _yourself_? I think it's important to build a confident self image. We have to be comfortable with how we view ourself first. Gaining self respect, is also part of growing up, and will help our peers become more mature. It'll educate our guy friends/classmates/co-workers//.ters more than anything else on the subject of HOWTO-respect-geek-girls, if they haven't learned. :) Have you seen posts like I have a wonderful girlfriend who codes and I know other girls who also are awesome engineers...? That's an enlightened soul, thanks to one of us. :) Go geek girls! Yea!! |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:41PM EST (#219) |
| Well... with computers, if I can't get every feature I want, I just don't get a new computer. That's why I'm still using an Altair here (this message was toggled in). |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:32PM EST (#366) |
| And you still have your 4th grade girlfriend? ;-) |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Lissell (lrlongx@nrst.net) on Sunday October 24, @02:12PM EST (#243) (User Info) |
| Comming from a rather young techi female, some of you may not be applicable to this. My world is not computers. Yeah i have a very computer oriented job and go to a very computer oriented school. But i dont care if the guy im with is. Its definatly a bonus though. I like geeks, there great in bed and dont like makeup (yeah). What i dont like is a geek guy who tries to fix it for me every time i get confused writting C code. Yeah, i want things explained when i dont understand them, but im not an idiot. The main problem i have found with most geek guys is that they really do want to show off. I dont want him to show off. I want him to explain the occaisional thing and NOT criticize my decisions. Especially about computers. Its a hard world out there and if the >18 guys out there want decent girls they have to learn that. The internet community is very accepting of fems but in the real world it isnt so. I spent two years not knowing what a .bat file was. I had never had to use one. DOS was somthing i used to run C test programs. If i wanted command line i would go use the unix box under my desk. Durring those two years many of my male coworkers had explaind to me .bat files. But i still didnt know what one was. Finally a female coworker asked me to write some for her. I asked how to do it and she showed me how. Durring the entire two eyars not a single male coworker had told me that you just put DOS commands in text file and run it in DOS. Not a single one. They had all given me the explanation that it runs mutiple DOS commands from one file. Well thats great, but how. The point gentlmen is that we are not idiots, and prefer to be treated like peers. When we ask what appears to be stupid question, it isnt a sign of weekness. Knowledge comes by asking questions, and my boyfriend at least always answers them, and isnt afraid to say he doesnt know. Thats another key. If your a programmer and perl god, im not going to expect you to explain the intricacies of RAM to me. But you might know. So i will ask, you arented expected to give the perfect answer, just a simple "im not sure" will do. It doenst change my view. Learn me well enough to know that. My darling SO has learned these things. Along with little lessons along the lines of "That ergo keyboard you ot my for me birthday is great, I needed one. But could you have wrapped it first? Maybe with a card and somthing nice written inside". Little things matter, but most off all respect. Besides, when your GF feels respected, she is a heck of a lot more fun in bed. I think ive rambled enough. Happy hunting boys. |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:16PM EST (#323) |
| I find it a tad curious that you assume sexism to be the cause of less-than-adequate responses to "what [appear] to be stupid [questions]." I don't bother explaining every step unless someone asks me to, be they male or female. The simple fact that you encounter a lot of gender bias in this industry does not me that we all think you're stupid. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Lissell (lrlongx@nrst.net) on Sunday October 24, @07:03PM EST (#410) (User Info) |
| Most of the guys who gave me less than usefull answers happened to be 20+ years older then me. Im 17 as of tomorrow. It isnt always a gender thing, they have never been chauvenistic to my face. Its just hard for most of them, who have been working for my company for most of the 20+ years, to believe i know what im doing. They look at me and see their teenage daughters, not a fellow coworker. Its somthing im pretty used to. When i start my new internship at a local college Ill have to deal with same thing. Life happens, you deal. The thing is that, in my experience, most younger guys, when faced with a technical question by a girl, will try and explain it to her whether they know the answer or not. Most of the older men on the other hand have given me the general low level answers that they are used to giving everyone who askes an annoying question. Its easier to get the techie fems to view you as an equal. They actually had to fight for their jobs, mine was handed to me, there used to supporting newbies. And certainly not all males are like this. My SO taught me everything i know about linux. I learned HTML from some of the male seniors at school with out any problems. I also learned C from a very helpfull college friend of mine, who happens to be male. They have all been wonderfull, but each one has occaisionally given me a funny answer when i didnt ask my question in the right syntax. I guess the point i was trying to make was that most fem geeks(or techs) really prefer a guy who views them as an itellectual equal. This is somthing everyone, even fems, have to learn how to do. And the younger you are, the harder it is. We humans like feeling superior. I may have just made a complete feminazi out of myself for this, but oh well. This is a brutal industry, and sometimes, you have to bite. |
| Re:Women. (Score:2) by Bill Currie (bill@taniwha.org) on Sunday October 24, @08:21PM EST (#442) (User Info) http://www.taniwha.org/ |
I may have just made a complete feminazi out of myself for this, but oh well.Not at all (IMHO), for two reasons: you treated the other person with respect and you are after respect as an equal. AIUI, feminazi are not after euality, but rather superiority. Sure, as you said, we all like the fealing of superiority, but a world made up of different equals (ie equal in caliber, but still individuals) would be a much better place. This makes me think of the Ghandi(?) quote someone has here on /. (could be one of the fortunes): imbalance of power corrupts, monopoly of power corrupts absolutely. This applies eqally well to male/female relationships and national/international politics. That mutual respect is what I was looking for, and found in my wife (though we have some rough edges, mostly my fault as some of my values are incompatable with hers but hers are okay with me). |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Alphix (david@2gen.com) on Sunday October 24, @08:37PM EST (#448) (User Info) |
| It's very, very, very hard to balance the abstraction and technical level of an answer to someone when it's a topic as wide and deep as computers. If somone asks me something at work (How does XYZ work, whats that, whats this) it's always a challenge to know what to include and what to keep out of the answer. Some people might say...."but if your coworker who's got a degree in yada-da-da and has been working with dii-dum for two years, of course you know approx how much he/she knows" and the answer is....of course not....some people have been working with the same thing all their life (and have a very narrow but deep field of expertise) or have very nice education on paper (but not in their head)....what I'm saying is that before you actually know the person asking the question...been working with him/her for a while etc. you have no idea if the person asking the question: "But if I have RAM in my computer what do I need cache for" is expecting A) The RAM is a biiiiig and slow warehouse and the cache is a small and fast one with lots of people working in it B) Two blueprints, one of a PC100 SDRAM and one of a pipeline burst cache memory module C) Something else So the hesitance and "incorrect level" of the answers doesn't have to be gender-related.... If I don't make any sense it's because english isn't my native language! :) (I love hiding behind that fact) //David "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." -- Mark Twain |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:04PM EST (#482) |
| I have yet to see you say "I sat down and figured out X by experience, or by reading up on it, etc." You seem to use others as your sole source of help, which inevitably leads to newbie-type questions that sound like the same stupid shit they hear every day. Perhaps this is why they think of you as an intellectual inferior, because true or false, you come across as lazy when you don't seem to know how or care enough to find your own answers and then ask others about more complex problems that aren't in standard texts. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Lissell (lrlongx@nrst.net) on Monday October 25, @12:12AM EST (#545) (User Info) |
| I figured out backups by myself. I figured out SQL and Oracle databases by myself. 95% of what i know about C was self taught. The same goes for hardware. With the exception of microprocessors wich im still trying to find a decent book on. DOS is one of those things i never really played with. By the time i got involved with computers Win95 had already come out, and Unix was a much cooler command line OS. W95 doesnt really use DOS all that much. At least not for what i was doing. Because they need me to start using them at work i have since goneo ut and boughten a nice little book on the wonder that is DOS, with a nice sized section on cool .bat tricks. When i started i asked a lot of stupid questions, and got equivilant answers. The most memorable being the time i asked my best friend what "that" was. I was pointing to the proccessor and expecting somthing like "pentium 166" or an equivilant. HE went into a detailed description of overclocking. Needless to say it was way above my head and i was to shy to say so. I have since gotten better at asking questions, wich means i get better answers. But not always, and of course improvment is always happening. And as for asking inanely stupid questions of my coworkers: I am constantly being asked to do things ive never done. My manager does this so I can learn, thats her job, unfortunatly most of the people she sicks me on to learn dont know that. She tells them "lissell doesnt have any familiarity with Apache, you will have to teach her" and they just let it slide over. Wich means i get to ask stupid questions. ;-) But i am learning, i do so everyday. If i wasnt, they wouldnt be keeping me. |
| Absolutely! (Score:1) by Cactus_03 on Monday October 25, @11:40AM EST (#682) (User Info) |
| Questions should be banned. Conversation too. Everyone should be locked in the basement with 300 computing books, a box of tools and pieces of a computer. No network connection allowed: too social. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by fidel (mhummel@pcug^SPAM.org.au) on Sunday October 24, @09:09PM EST (#459) (User Info) |
| Obviously your [male?] cow-orkers were your typical patronising MS loving, football playing jerks... If they had at all used *nix, they would have told you that .bat files were sorta like shell scripts on unix, only far inferior... ;) (This had better be moderated as flamebait...) |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:45PM EST (#533) |
| When we answer more than what your question asks, we are just trying to be nice to you, and give you as much information as we can. If you think us guys (at least me) thinks that females are inferior, you are totally wrong. We are just trying to be polite. Now if it's a guy asking me the same question, I would probably tell him to fuck off or RTFM, etc. I wouldn't waste my time explaining things in detail. That's not because I think he is smart enough to figure out himself. Its because I don't give a damn about him. The point is, we are just trying to be nice to you. If you think otherwise, that's unfortunate. Now you women should fix your emotional unstability problems and being so unpredictable. We try hard to make you happy, but a lot of the times you interpret that the other way. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Lissell (lrlongx@nrst.net) on Monday October 25, @12:26AM EST (#550) (User Info) |
| I know, thats what makes my SO such an endearing fellow. He always gives me more then what i have asked for. And most of the time its great. I get to learn new things from him, and he gets to teach me. On occaision i do the teaching (He knows nothing of programming) and we both enjoy it. But on occaision, i really do want the short answer. Just out of curiosity, Is anyone reading this familiar with gender based thought patterns? I kinda wonder if it has an effect on how people choose there mates? Do we go for people with patterns similar to our own or so we select people as different as possible? Or is that somthing you can really even tell about a person? So many questions, so many answers. |
| Re:Women. (Score:1) by Harri on Monday October 25, @05:30AM EST (#610) (User Info) |
| The guys I know quickly learned that, just like anyone else, there is stuff I can teach them and stuff they can teach me. So they respect that and don't seem to have a problem asking me for help, or conversely, explaining things in a way I'll understand. Maybe I'm just lucky. I've had people sound patronising because I don't know something obvious, but never because I'm female. |
| Re:Women. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @04:41PM EST (#701) |
| Surprisingly enough, I agree totally with the whole computers is not my life scenario. Personally I thought that another male like myself would have mentioned this, but I think i might be alone on this one. Most of the women/ladies/girrlz/girls i have come accross (mostly non techie) really can't stand it when you talk nothing except computers ALL day. On my end of things i love talking about computers, techie stuff, etc.. BUT not all the time! I went out with a techie girl before, nothing fancy just a double major physics/compsci. My only complaint with her was, her life was school/computers/physics and that was it. After a while, she couldn't talk about anything else. It got very frustrating, and repetive. So i kinda know where your comeing from on that aspect. For your information Lissell, not all geek types abhore makeup, and some geek types even like it ;-) When done in good tase of course. That means not applying it with a spatchula. NOTE: If you can wake up in the morning and look at your SO without makeup and not run away screaming, then it's love, a resonable facsimilie, or you forgot to wear your glasses. Unfortunately most geek guys try to impress any female when she asks for some tech help, and in my case i would probably ramble on about the intricate details about how something works. (yeah it's a bad habit, i'm learning to sum things up, but old habits die hard) I will have to say one thing though, if i don't know, then i will let that person know.. and direct them to where they can find info about it. What i find most ironic in my life, is that while i have never really had a girfriend, most of my friends are women. I am what you would call a "good friend". Most of them now are either married, engaged or have boyfriends of their own. (and yes i still keep in touch with them as often as i can) My biggest problem is not if i like someone, but if they can put up with me. let me try to sum this up: 24 hyperactive: on a constant sugar high (and no i don't take any drugs except coffee on occasion) Most female non-techies are scared of me, because they think i'm some geeky brain, or some hyper freak. Most of my freinds are in this catagory. And they are the rare few that acutally were able to put up with me. The techie females tend (unfortunatly) be introverts,which i get along with fine. Unfortunately they just don't talk back enough except behind a computer screen (and yes i do stop to let them speak, despite my tendency to ramble). I have come accross many techie females are quite outgoing, but they all were either 35+ years old (sorry i'm only 24), married, or have a boyfriend. The only other people i get along with are people who scare me. (and that is very hard to do) I'm not looking for miss practically perfect in every way, but someone who can put up with me and my quirks, as well as me putting up with their's. I have some standards that probably make my life difficuilt when i'm looking for somebody: - must have a cute smile. - put up with me. - not be a luddite. - be able to hold an intellegent conversation. - not look like medusa (i've seen some that come too close for my tastes..ewwww) - like snow (i'm an avid skiier, but they don't have to ski; snoboarder, toboggener, snowball thrower, etc. will do) Personally if she's geek, cool someone i can talk shop with now and then. If not, hey it doesn't bother me one bit. I'm really looking for someone who i can just sit and just hold her. Sometimes just look at her and stare into her eyes, no words nessasary. I know, I know, it sounds corney, but that's just me i guess. They best way to explain what i'm looking for would be the lyrics to the song Somebody my Depeche Mode. I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life. Share my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details. someone who'll stand by my side, and give me support. and in return she'll get my suport. she will listen to me, when i want to speak about the world we live in and life in general though my views may be wrong, they may even be perverted. she'll hear me out and won't easily be converted to my way of thinking in fact she'll often disagree in the end of it all, she will understand me. I want somebody who cares for me passionetly with every thought and with every breath someone who'll help me see things in a different light all the things i detest i will almost like i don't want to be tied to anyone's strings i'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things but when i'm asleep i want somebody who'll put there arms around and kiss me tenderly (please no comments on having this song almost memorized, I really don't want to hear about it) Honestly from my endevors, it doesn't matter whether your geek, or she is. It's all the same for everbody. There are those that are so engrossed in their work, that thay ignore simple things like.. oh say... relationships. I just happens that most geeky professions appeal to alot of the introverted. Well that's my $.02, unfortunately it seems i've shelled out $2.75. Oh well! Keep the change. signed, hopeless romantic ps - umm my nick LordHighBinary is not as egotistical as it may sound. It involed a C project for an algo class, lost of binary level manipulation, and a nosey brother in law who said "geesh, your not done yet! Well when you get done with it your going to be the lord of the binaries. HA HA!" pss - I feel like i just sent Dear Abby a letter. geesh! |
| "Geek" girls (Score:1) by Luke B. Bishop (nanosoft@nanosoft.hypermart.net) on Sunday October 24, @02:29PM EST (#256) (User Info) http://nanosoft.hypermart.net/ |
Am I the only one here who has had a positive experience with a "geek" girl? I find that extrordinarily strange, and almost disturbing. I had to deal with more than my share of the usual geek shyness when I was young, worse than most in fact, because I started programming when I was only 5, and grew up in a small outport town... Then, somehow, I miraculously found somebody who was almost as obsessed with computers as me. Compete? Nah, the solution to that is TO GET A DAMN SECOND COMPUTER, and NETWORK them. Since I had all the above, we actually collaborated rather well. The trick is to NOT engage in a "battle of the sexes" but just to act like normal hackers coding up a storm. It especially helps if the computers are all in the bedroom ;) And somebody who has been so badly isolated throughout life, if they can open up, tends to be the most loving people you will ever meet. Especially if you have the same experience. Anyways, that relationship had no immediate end in sight, but I went back to university... Still, at the current rate, we'll get back together after I graduate. Anyways, I've rambled... But still, am I the ONLY one around here with a positive experience in the "geek" circle? -- Luke B. Bishop, Senior Software Engineer, Nanosoft, Inc. |
| Re:"Geek" girls (Score:1) by cdlu (canada@spamless.geecs.org) on Sunday October 24, @04:15PM EST (#319) (User Info) http://eddie.cis.uoguelph.ca/~canada |
| No. I have had two successful relationships with geek females. One unsuccessful relationship with a non-geek, and that's my sum total. I have no patience for stupid people (arrogantly assuming i'm not dense) and as such, geek girls are perfect matches for me. Separation only by distance with no end in sight to the separation is all that killed my most recent relationship. [3] + Stopped /root/slashdot |
| Re:"Geek" girls (Score:1) by thopkins on Sunday October 24, @08:59PM EST (#457) (User Info) |
| How can you have two successful relationships? If you had one it'd have to end for the second one to begin, in which care it wouldn't be successful. -- ICQ: 15630316 |
| Re:"Geek" girls (Score:1) by cdlu (canada@spamless.geecs.org) on Sunday October 24, @09:36PM EST (#468) (User Info) http://eddie.cis.uoguelph.ca/~canada |
| It was good while it lasted, but we eventually drifted apart. As do most early high school relationships. We were together a good while though. [3] + Stopped /root/slashdot |
| Re:"Geek" girls (Score:1) by MarkCC on Monday October 25, @10:38AM EST (#660) (User Info) |
| Don't view things in such an absolute fashion. It's not the case that every "successful" relationship ends up in marriage. I can think of numerous cases among my friends where a long happy relationship broke up, but where the former couple remained close friends. I consider that a successful relationship, even though it ended. |
| Re:"Geek" girls (Score:1) by Spire on Monday October 25, @05:00AM EST (#602) (User Info) |
| Death? |
| The grass is always greener... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @09:15PM EST (#461) |
| I would like to remind everyone that there is no universal answer for finding Mr or Ms. Perfect. Very true. It seems that most single people over 25 are trying to get married, but if you can't find the right person, its not worth the pain. I know people (both men and women) who married the wrong person, and they're in living hell. The key is to be happy where you're at. If you can find someone like Robin did, then great. If you can't, its no big deal; don't waste the rest of your life being miserable about it. |
| One satisfied geek girl.... (Score:2, Insightful) by nano-second (fetid@swamp.bog) on Sunday October 24, @10:34PM EST (#501) (User Info) |
I think too much attention seems to be focused on finding someone. You've gotta be able to enjoy life on your own before you can enjoy it with someone else. I am a geek girl in a happy relationship with a geek guy. We both spend time doing geeky stuff, but we know when we need to spend time with eachother too. (to be redundant, I must reiterate... just because we are geeks, doesn't mean we are inconsiderate bastards). As with many geeks, my high school experience was not a terrible success. I had friends, but I was certainly not a desirable candidate for the gf role. So what? I learned a lot of cool stf, and made some good friends. When I came to university, I didn't look to find an SO... I looked to find friends. And being in the minority of a cs program at univ, all of my friends are guys. They are equals. And one of my friends became my bf. It wasn't a forced manhunt, it was a natural attraction between two equals, two individuals, two multi-talented-interesting people. And that's why it works so well. We can respect eachothers headspace. We are friends. The things I wanted fufilled weren't rigorous or difficult. I wanted an equal, who treated me as an equal, who was fun to be with, and made me smile. Someone I just felt really good being around. That sort of natural attraction that can't be manufactured. Intelligence and personality were truly the most important. There are other geek girls AND non-geek girls like this. If someone is really worth being with, they won't care that you don't look like the ideal wo/man. And you'd be surprised how attractive most people really are, once you drop the idea of prefection. ;) |
| Low volume INTP list (Score:1) by rodent on Tuesday October 26, @01:57AM EST (#729) (User Info) |
| For those that are introverted like myself (and there are many in this thread) and enjoy good discussions, I run a fairly low volume list for INTP's. Drop an email to intp-request@ciredata.com with "subscribe" (sans quotes) in the subject line.
|
| Right on. (Score:1) by blalor (GabbaGabbaHey@HCIRisc.CS.Binghamton.Edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:26AM EST (#5) (User Info) http://hcirisc.cs.binghamton.edu/~blalor/ |
| Well said, man. -bjl |
| Can we make this into a HOWTO? (Score:2, Funny) by thegrommit on Sunday October 24, @11:27AM EST (#7) (User Info) |
| Or at least get the Mozilla team to add an about: link to it :) Maybe time for a new poll - how many male /. readers have been out on more than two dates with the same woman? |
| Re:Can we make this into a HOWTO? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:29PM EST (#201) |
| Me |
| Re:Can we make this into a HOWTO? (Score:1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:10PM EST (#241) |
| maybe just a man page... |
| Re:Can we make this into a HOWTO? (Score:1) by Julius X (cpalmer@nospam.vt.edu) on Sunday October 24, @03:14PM EST (#289) (User Info) http://fbox.vt.edu:10021/C/cpalmer/ |
That perhaps could be the man page to explain what happens when you enter the mysterious command:
At last an explanation! :-) Cliff Palmer, Jr. ActiveNetwork |
| Re:Can we make this into a HOWTO? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:36PM EST (#368) |
| make love make: *** No rule to make target `love'. Stop. Yep, explains my life : ) |
| Re:Can we make this into a HOWTO? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @03:12AM EST (#583) |
| man woman? hahaha |
| Re:Can we make this into a HOWTO? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @09:02AM EST (#650) |
| And in reference to the gay thread above this I got the strangest look when I told a user to; man mount Oh well still not as funny as when a user told me the window he was in was; Exploring a colon. I thought I'd about die laughing. |
| Maby a man page? (Score:1) by The Creator (root@internic.net) on Monday October 25, @05:21AM EST (#606) (User Info) http://fmf.webprovider.com |
| When in doubt, just type: man woman LINUX stands for: Linux Inux Nux Ux X UNIX stands for: UNIversal eXperts operating system |
| Re:Can we make this into a HOWTO? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @07:05AM EST (#621) |
| Me too! ;-) |
| How to pick up on chicks, by roblimo. (Score:1) by Pyr (doctorwho(at)thegrid(net)) on Sunday October 24, @11:28AM EST (#8) (User Info) http://tofproject.org |
| 1. Hang out in #aftery2k for hours at a time 2. hit on Nitrozac all night 3. Tell all the geek guys about your exploits with women as a cabdriver 3. Tell everyone you're not here to brag about chicks, you're here to help everyone get laid. |
| Re:How to pick up on chicks, by roblimo. (Score:1) by roblimo (roblimo.nojunk@slashdot.org) on Sunday October 24, @11:35AM EST (#18) (User Info) http://andovernews.com/bio_miller.html |
| and 4: don't take any of this too seriously, especially anything between me and Nitrozac. That's a silly game, nothing more. My wife often looks over my shoulder while I'm working or chatting or whatever. She works at home, right next to me. - Robin |
| Re:How to pick up on chicks, by roblimo. (Score:1) by Nitrozac (nitrozac@geekculture.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:15PM EST (#86) (User Info) http://www.geekculture.com/geekycomics/Aftery2k/aftery2kmain.html |
| I have to agree with Roblimo, I took it as a joke, not seriously at all. :) It was especially funny, how everyone got far more excited and exhuberant when the topic turned to MODEMS! :D |
| Re:How to pick up on chicks, by roblimo. (Score:1) by Pyr (doctorwho(at)thegrid(net)) on Sunday October 24, @12:32PM EST (#106) (User Info) http://tofproject.org |
| mm.. MODEMS.. whee! heh, I was just giving our favorite resident #aftery2k internet celebrity/dirty old man a hard time. and not like that! |
| Re:How to pick up on chicks, by roblimo. (Score:1) by Pengveen on Sunday October 24, @02:22PM EST (#251) (User Info) |
| Joke or not- a lot of truths are spoken in jest. He said a lot that would have made a big difference in my life 5 years ago. |
| Re:How to pick up on chicks, by roblimo. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:18PM EST (#181) |
| What server? |
| One secret! (Score:2, Funny) by Montressor on Sunday October 24, @11:29AM EST (#9) (User Info) |
| There is only one thing to keep a woman yours: Oral sex and lots of it. |
| Re:One secret! (Score:1) by w3woody (woody@alumni.caltech.edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:48AM EST (#37) (User Info) http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~woody |
| *sigh* Not always. Some women dislike oral sex, as do some men. Actually, conversation works better than sticking body parts into your mouth... |
| Re:One secret! (Score:2, Insightful) by Loudog (alphageek@doghaus.org) on Sunday October 24, @12:51PM EST (#139) (User Info) http://www.doghaus.org |
| Conversation is the true secret, and I am baffled as to why more people don't know about it. If you start interacting with a potential S.O. and you look up 4 hours later and ask, "Have we been talking that long?" you are onto something. It doesn't matter what you were talking about -- coding or sex or the best way to finish a bookshelf -- as long as you are both interested. My happy marriage is just a continuation of that first long conversation I had with her. 6 years and one kid, and going strong. |
| moderate this guy up, please (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @09:18PM EST (#463) |
| If you start interacting with a potential S.O. and you look up 4 hours later and ask, "Have we been talking that long?" you are onto something. This is a very profound truth. Trying to talk more won't fix a bad relationship, but this talking-for-four-hours thing is a very reliable sign that things are on the right track. IIRC, studies have been done on this: Marraiges that last are between friends. Regardless of studies, it's been my own experience, too. My girlfriend and I yap endlessly, sometimes about things that matter but often about total crap. We like the way each others' minds work. We're find each other interesting above the neck as well as below. Oral sex is a still good idea, though :) |
| I suppose IRC doesn't count... n/t (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @09:37PM EST (#469) |
| perhaps multiply by 4 for IRC hours... |
| Re:One secret! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:30PM EST (#329) |
| Read my book on the subject. It's called 'Oh, please shut up, honey... you're much nicer that way' |
| Cover all bases. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:05PM EST (#483) |
| ...conversation works better than sticking body parts into your mouth... The best of both worlds is talking about sticking body parts into each others' mouths -- and then doing it, of course. And then feeding the cat and throwing water balloons out the window at the neighbors' dog. Togetherness in a relationship involves more than just sex. You have to engage in a wide range of activities before and after sex -- and sometimes even during sex! Here are a few other fun date ideas to get you started:
|
| Oh, dammit, dammit . . . Mea culpa. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:08PM EST (#487) |
| ". . . choose between the following fun activities:" Wrong, wrong, wrong! "Between" is correct only when there are exactly two options. It should have been "among". This is how God punishes me for not proofreading. God, that's embarrassing. Oh, Jesus, how many 'r's in "embarrassing", anyway? Urk, urk. |
| Dammit, pt 2: "vengeance" (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:04PM EST (#512) |
| I mistyped "vengeance". "Vengenace", my ass. God, I'm an idiot tonight. |
| Re:Cover all bases. (Score:1) by w3woody (woody@alumni.caltech.edu) on Monday October 25, @01:05AM EST (#564) (User Info) http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~woody |
The best of both worlds is talking about sticking body parts into each others' mouths... Keep in mind when I wrote what I did, I was also refering to the act of the original poster putting his foot into his own mouth... grin |
| *sigh* (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @04:45AM EST (#599) |
| Oh ok, I guess I'll ask first... spoilsport. |
| Re:One secret! (Score:1) by braque on Sunday October 24, @11:53AM EST (#47) (User Info) |
| That isn't a secret! |
| Yes, BUT; (Score:1) by Peale (vengnce@die-spam-die.iname.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:57AM EST (#56) (User Info) http://www.vermontel.com/~vengnce/shows/ |
| You have to be good at it. I'm sorry. What I meant to say was 'please excuse me.' what came out of my mouth was 'Move or I'll kill you!' Sorry for the misunderstanding. |
| Re:One secret! (Score:2) by Skyshadow on Sunday October 24, @12:02PM EST (#68) (User Info) |
| Are you kidding? Man, if you *really* want to keep a woman, be able to cook. Nothing impresses a woman so much as a guy who can whip up a decent meal on short notice. ---- |
| Re:One secret! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:46PM EST (#128) |
| Or tie her to a post in your basement. That should keep her around. |
| Re:One secret! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:26PM EST (#194) |
| Actually, the way I here it, women recognize TRUE LOVE in a man who ... (drum roll, please) ... will wash his own socks. Or maybe hers? Somebody's anyway.. I don't know. I've worn nothing but Tivas and Birkenstalks since 1981. I don't do socks. :o) |
| Re:One secret! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:32PM EST (#202) |
| Half right. Cooking now days is easy. Put on the gloves and clean the toilet,vacuum floor and dust. |
| (Score:1) by Gkeeper80 on Sunday October 24, @06:25PM EST (#389) (User Info) |
| my dad does all that stuff, all that means is that he's whipped. sure it keeps them around, but it's not worth it...trust me. |
| Re:One secret! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @01:03AM EST (#563) |
| True. I know the women I see sure like it when I prepare my "salami" for them. |
| Re:One secret! (Score:1) by m3000 (m3000@nospam.tampabay.rr.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:54PM EST (#142) (User Info) http://m3000.1wh.com/linux |
| Does anyone else find it humourous that the orginal poster's comment got moderated as informative? |
| Re:One secret! (Score:2) by Foogle (foogle@adelphia.net) on Sunday October 24, @04:11PM EST (#314) (User Info) |
| I didn't think it was "laugh" funny, but the first thoughts in my head were Are you for real? and then (sigh)...moderators.... There should be a retard filter for possible moderator status. It could use the NSA's software (espionage!) to figure out what people's posts were saying and then use them to decided whether or not they are a moron. "You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding." |
| I thought it *was* informative. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @09:07PM EST (#458) |
| Okay, I took it as a more general point; seen from that perspective it makes a lot of sense. Seen from the nudge-nudge-wink-wink perspective (which was probably the intent) it still strikes me as true enough to be funny. Not to mention a pleasant change from the usual Beavisish attitude about women displayed on Slashdot: "Girls are too stupid to use computers! Why do girls hate me?!" Because you f*cking hate them, you moron . . . |
| I don't know about yours (Score:1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:50PM EST (#275) |
| But my ample chested silicon bimbo just loves it when I ram a cheese grater up her pulsating anus. Come on guys, there is not magic solution. This is like asking: How do I use a computer to do N? and expecting a single simple answer. A little tip though, if you are looking for a relationship that lasts decades, you should probably base it on something other then sex. |
| Re:I don't know about yours (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:58PM EST (#405) |
| But my ample chested silicon bimbo just loves it when I ram a cheese grater up her pulsating anus. The big question: do you sprinkle the results on your nachos? Sorry, I'm too embarrassed to log on. :) |
| Re:I don't know about yours (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @11:20AM EST (#678) |
| But my ample chested silicon bimbo just loves it when I ram a cheese grater up her pulsating anus. Damn. And I thought my chick was the only one who liked that kind of thing. I guess she's not such a freak after all... |
| Great article. (Score:1) by bencc99 on Sunday October 24, @11:29AM EST (#10) (User Info) |
| True anough too. However, I think that most of us actually can get laid when we want too. No, really. |
| Re:Great article. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:26PM EST (#98) |
| And I think you're being overly optimistic. Or then again, if you count paid sex it might not be. |
| Re:Great article. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:37PM EST (#424) |
| Are you all really this sad??? |
| Re:Great article. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:45AM EST (#644) |
| sad but true. |
| Re:Great article. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:23PM EST (#493) |
| Technically, that's true. However, there's a catch (isn't there always?) http://www.conspiracygame.com/tughou se/93.html That ought to explain it, although some of you may find it offensive. |
| Just what the doctor ordered... (Score:1) by Sharkyfour (slashdot@NOSPAM.ois.tj) on Sunday October 24, @11:30AM EST (#11) (User Info) http://www.ois.tj/~sharky/ |
| I've been having a little girl trouble lately, and I've been sorta down about it for the last few days, but that article put a huge smile on my face. Thank you Roblimo! -- fortune: cannot execute. Out of cookies. |
| nicely put (Score:1) by nicedream (moore008@gannon.edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:31AM EST (#14) (User Info) http://nopants.org |
| You've heard this before, but body language is more important than your words. Along these lines, a friend of mine swears that imitating a girls body language is a subconcious way of flirting (she won't even know its happening). Make it subtle though, not a game of simon says. One other thing...I wasn't around then, but I've been a huge Beatles fan since around 3rd grade, and always thought Paul was the cute one. Well not me personally but that's who the girls like the most, isn't it? |
| Imitating Body Language -> Building Rapport -> NLP (Score:1) by reason1024 (reason1024@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:05PM EST (#72) (User Info) |
| There's a book somewhere in the middle of my "being read" stack (many books get added to the top, few ever get removed) called =Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming= by O'Connor & Seymour. The authors agree; they say that if you watch people talking who are receptive to each other, they share the same posture, gestures, and level of eye-contact. They also say that you can CREATE rapport by intentionally matching your conversation partner's state & style of communication. Check out the book, it's pretty interesting. Is it mind control? MMMMMmmmmmmaybe.... -- "Doctor Steve was a loving, caring man who wanted only the best for me. And to control my mind." -Oasis -- you're never dead until you run out of quarters |
| Re:Imitating Body Language -> Building Rapport -> (Score:5, Insightful) by marcelmouse (marcelmouse@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:57PM EST (#232) (User Info) |
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a computer geek, really, but a social science geek. I rarely speak up on /. because my field of expertise is touched on so rarely. Lucky you! I'm in the middle of a ~5 year project studying flirtation behavior. The authors agree; they say that if you watch people talking who are receptive to each other, they share the same posture, gestures, and level of eye-contact. They also say that you can CREATE rapport by intentionally matching your conversation partner's state & style of communication. If you thought this was smart, please avoid books on NLP and head straight for Erving Goffman, whom you can thank for ideas like "personal space." NLP (when yanked out of the theoretical realm and applied in genuine flirty-type social situations)is fraught with silly assumptions. F'rinstance, if a girl was flirting with you, and you "intentionally match your conversation partner's state & style of communication," you are essentially emulating heteronormative female flirtation behavior, which might be endearing to a bi-punk-chick, but will almost certainly put off a girl who expects you to flirt in the manner of a straight boy, such as the old-fashioned girls cited in the article above. (Furthermore, if your Jedi mind trick actually works on the lady, think of the shame when she finds your bookmark on the "how to get laid" chapter of your silly New Age concieve-of-the-human-mind-as-a-hunk-of-programmable-silicon book.) If you really need to read about this sort of non-verbal social communication, head straight for _Interaction_Ritual_, by the aforementioned Goffman, for a chaper on (I think) "Embarassment and Social Form." oh, and BTW: sorry for the anthro jargon. Heteronormative means basically "according to norms for straight people." |
| Goffman Rocks (Score:1) by pafein (p-fein@uchicago.edu) on Sunday October 24, @06:44PM EST (#397) (User Info) http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/pafein/ |
| That is all. --Peter |
| I did a 4 year project studying flirtation too... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:29PM EST (#497) |
| ...every Friday night at the campus pub. I proposed hypotheses (to sometimes receptive females), did some field work (and was feeled in return), and then published my results (verbally, with male friends in the locker room). Who says engineering and social sciences are so different? |
| Re:Imitating Body Language -> Building Rapport -> (Score:1) by treat on Sunday October 24, @11:33PM EST (#525) (User Info) |
| ," you are essentially emulating heteronormative female flirtation behavior, which might be endearing to a bi-punk-chick |
| You think looking effeminate is BAD? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @04:22AM EST (#594) |
| A few REALLY good playa's I know are COMPLETELY effeminate. See, I know one guy, who I hang out regularly -- I call him The GrandMaster -- who you'd SWEAR is gay. That guy fucks AT LEAST 2 new women a week. Now, funny you should mention that, but building rapport does not mean mimicking exactly. Though ... it's incredible how far you can go without the other person noticing it. It's the same for trance words, where you feed back the mostr significant words of the other person back. Example: she mentions 'trust' several times? Say it back! And whatever important word. Most 'natural' seducers (not only sexual but commercial ones, I mean, good salespeople) do just that: they repeat -- NOT EXACTLY -- but what was important to you. Bit of conversation: Her -- I really trusted that guy. For more info, go to alt.seduction.fast. |
| He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:2, Funny) by InitZero (initzero@eurydice.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:32AM EST (#15) (User Info) http://matt.steinhoff.net/ |
Poor Rob. He missed a big date or something and Debbie is pissed. Quick! Use Slashdot to kiss up and make things right. He won't be sleeping in the doghouse tonight. Lucky guy. I'd have to buy jewelry. {grin} InitZero |
| Re:He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:35AM EST (#19) |
| That's what I thought after reading about three paragraphs... -Chris |
| Re:He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:3, Insightful) by kilpatjr (kilpatjr@BADSPAM-unicum.de) on Sunday October 24, @12:37PM EST (#121) (User Info) |
| What? Show me a single self-respecting woman who would respond to this in a positive way! Allow me to sum up roblimo's wife, as he described her: She's there to hug him at his will, but leaves him alone otherwise. She cooks his meals. She rubs his shoulders. She runs bath water for him. She's no supermodel. She has big breasts (or so I assume, since he made a big deal out of it in the Teenagers Take Heart: It Gets Better section She redocorates too much, and roblimo doesn't like what she does If I were his wife, I'd be pretty pissed right now, or have no self-esteem to start with. For her sake, I hope she doesn't see the article. As for tactics on how to pick up chix: Don't bother. Treat females with the same respect you give other humans. (For some of you, it may require a bit more.) A novel concept: stay honest and try to show interest in things without microprocessors. (There is an entire world out there, and more beyond that!) To sum up, be true. Don't lie, don't embellish. If you're looking for someone to love and respect you, you have to be prepared to do the same. -noop |
| Re:He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:1) by Skamille (camille+NOSPAM@cmu.nospam.edu) on Sunday October 24, @05:18PM EST (#360) (User Info) http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/~camille |
| Yeah, word to that. As a woman, I find this article incredibly patronizing both to me and to the men that this article is aimed at. I mean, do most of you guys REALLY need to read these things? Are you all so clueless that you need *Slashdot*, of all places, to teach you how to pick up women? Come ON! As for the inane comments on geek chicks, in whose ranks I consider myself to be, I have this comment: Any self respecting person, geek, female, male or otherwise, that has nothing to talk about but his or her primary work interest is a pretty lame person to hang out with. But you perhaps may find that it's nice to be able to talk to your SO about details of your work/school that someone that does not share those interests would be bored by. Trust me, geek women can be there for you just as much as non-geek women can. Don't buy into these stupid generalizations unless you want women buying into stupid generalizations about geek guys. And let's keep slashdot from turning into a version of Cosmo for geeks. |
| Re:He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:28PM EST (#419) |
| "Geek women can be there for you just as much as non-geek women can". Exactly! How did roblimo get the notion that if your geek girl is furiously programming or posting on Slashdot, she must be overtaken by competitive spirit and will turn you away when you need a hug. I bet she would be more than happy to _collaborate_, not _compete_, with you. As a female programmer, I can attest that my ideal of "geeky" pastime would be about collaboration and sharing of knowledge and ideas rather than competition. It's strange that this idea escaped roblimo. |
| Re:He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:1) by Mock (kstenerud@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @08:54PM EST (#456) (User Info) |
| Are you all so clueless that you need *Slashdot*, of all places, to teach you how to pick up women? You'd be surprised. The realm of romance is to me a completely foreign element. It's like being thrust into a far-off country where the language and customs are so completely alien as to paralyze you. I wander about in this maze, trying to find a way of participating, but when someone tries to explain it, they explain it in that language that I don't understand. All the time, I have friends give me advice like "just be yourself", and "just look for the signals" and other such things. Apparently, women will do things in their comportment and manner of speech and even physical positioning to show that she's interested, but I wouldn't pick it up unless she jumped on me. I mean, you spend your adolescence reading these trashy magazines where the women are in obvious sultry poses, and suddenly you realize that no girls are doing that to you. By the time you enter adulthood, you realize that the magazines were only a fantasy, but you are still completely baffled about the reality that IS there. When I am with a girl, I spend so much time petrified with fear that I'm going too far, that I end up turning into a cold fish (which is even worse). I always feel like I'm trying to make a crystal figurine with a sledgehammer. |
| Re:He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:1) by enol on Monday October 25, @01:07AM EST (#565) (User Info) |
| Yes yes! I think you've hit the mark. Last time it was the "How to keep nerds away" article and now this? I know relationship/love life is a huge part of people's lives but...it's something you *have* to learn on your own (not try to follow a HOW-TO on LOVE...unfortunately, this package doesn't come with a README) I didn't like the article for the reason that I don't like articles that generalize (especially on "geeks" of any sex). The Reality might surprise you. |
| Re:He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @02:54AM EST (#579) |
| Not to be overly obvious, but you go to CMU...trust me, dating tips on slashdot are appreciated. -recent grad |
| Re:He Obviously Missed Their Anniversary (Score:1) by galadriel on Monday October 25, @10:33AM EST (#657) (User Info) |
| ) stay honest and try to show interest in things without microprocessors. *Why* do I keep seeing this? (multiple places besides /., I mean) If *all* you care about is computers, then you'd be really unhappy in a relationship with someone who doesn't care for them. Shared interests in SOMEthing can make a relationship work--it doesn't have to exclude computing! If something's important to you, don't pretend it's not--any more than you'd affect an interest in (f'rinstance) sports, if you hate them. That will *NOT* help you meet the woman of your dreams. "Stay honest" is right--but being honest isn't compatible with feigning interest is something you care nothing about, or trying to ignore your real interests. Faking it will just make trouble later. But be open about your obsessions :) whatever they may be; if you try, you'll find someone who either shares the interest or at least can tolerate it, if you share another genuine interest. |
| Watch out (Score:1) by ben.b (wampa@NOSPAMethereal.net) on Sunday October 24, @11:33AM EST (#16) (User Info) http://ethereal.net/~wampa/ |
| I hope mentioning your wife's "imperfections" doesn't get you into serious trouble - I've head stories about that sort of thing - though I guess being a non-geek, she probably doesn't read Slashdot (Another plus for non-geeks: you can write about them on /.! :) |
| Re:Watch out (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 27, @01:20AM EST (#763) |
| Not true, non-geeks read this site, too... for example: me! And if my boyfriend ever writes an article like that he can put in any kind of truth he wants. ...and he can lie as long as he makes me look good...*wink* |
| Truer words... (Score:1) by moonboy (moonboynospam@linuxstart.nospam.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:35AM EST (#20) (User Info) |
| Much truth and wisdom in Roblimo's words. ---------------- "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein |
| what about this (Score:1) by NachMan16 on Sunday October 24, @11:35AM EST (#21) (User Info) http://skyscraper.fortunecity.com/quadra/267/ |
| Well, I just got to college. Should i concentrate on fulfilling my physical desires (with girls of course), or should I go out looking for that semi-perfect girl? Too many girls here either appear too stuck up or slutty for me or not ones i'd like to spend the night with. - Nacho Man 16 |
| Re:what about this (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:50AM EST (#39) |
| Get the young girls while you can. When you get older, then you can worry about finding the perfect match. Just don't be a jerk about it and tell them lies just to get them in the sack. |
| Re:what about this (Score:1) by w3woody (woody@alumni.caltech.edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:54AM EST (#48) (User Info) http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~woody |
| My personal advise: try curtain number three. That is, try dating, but without the goal of landing multiple sex partners or a future wife. Just go out and get to know a few of the girls at your college. The best strategy to finding a life partner, statistically speaking, is to date about a half-dozen to a dozen girls over the course of college (with a 'date' being as little as "hey, do you want to go out for a cup of coffee with me"), and when you find "the one", you have a good statistical likelihood that she is the optimal solution. There will also be a statistical likelihood that there will be "the one who got away"--the one who was as good as the one who you marry, but who got away. Yeah, there will be some room here to get yourself physically "satisfied". But just keep in mind that statistically speaking, married guys get more sex than single guys... |
| Re:what about this (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:09PM EST (#166) |
| *nods* Talk to people, it's GOOD. Took me forever to realize this. All through high school and college I had very bad self-image problems, but eventually I just forced myself to go out, talk to people, MAKE EYE CONTACT, and all of that. It's really quite painful when you start (what? people aren't literally repulsed by my presence? Really?), but it gets better. |
| Re:what about this (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:09PM EST (#81) |
| fulfill your physical desires!! 30 years ago, girls DID go to college to find Mr. Right, and marry him, etc... that is no longer the case. In all honesty, I've seen very few college relationships that have led to much... Personally, I went out with my last girlfriend for 3 years of my college career, but that recently ended after we graduated. After school, often too many things change for things to keep going, and i'm not even talking about location... you're in a different part of your life, and sometimes the things that kept you together don't really match up anymore. That's not to say don't try if you want to, just some advice... after all, many girls see their time in college as a good ime to try new things out and experiment, etc. and it would be a shame to miss out on that.. |
| its hard (no pun) (Score:1) by HarveyNeon (har_veee@spankspammers.hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:04PM EST (#158) (User Info) http://members.dencity.com/harv |
| man, if any of us knew the answer to that we wouldn't be here. we'd be off in love land getting a shoulder rub and having a bath drawn for us (or our personal equivalent heaven) all I can say is don't be a pussy (no pun) and just talk to girls, they're not all scarey or flippant. some of them are psycho hose-beasts, but for the most part they are easy to get along with. just talk to them see what you figure out by yourself. and there's always ICQ.. I'm from Canada. I've never seen an igloo. beer, eh? oui. |
| Re:what about this (Score:1) by Include on Sunday October 24, @02:32PM EST (#259) (User Info) |
| Just remember, girls who will spend the night with you ARE the sluts ( by definition ) so don't discount them :-) Morality fucks up alot of people. |
| Re:A Better Relational Ethic (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:25PM EST (#326) |
| I frequently hear women that want to have casual sex frequently termed "sluts". I belive this is not only sexist, but lacking in intelligence. Afterall, the men that sleep with "sluts" are in no better or worse moral conditions than the women. Women and men that choose to have frequent casual sex are not nessisarily immoral people. I believe that morality should be defined in the context of interpersonal relational ethics. By this I mean, what is important is kindness, and a respect for those you interact with, be it sexual or non-sexual. Our society desperately needs to find the means to respect each other and live in the confines of a respect-based morality while defineing casual consentual sex as morally acceptiable. This is designed to get all you guys (and girls, or course) a good way to get laid, but to incorperate your sexual ethic into your interpersonal ethic. These are just my thoughts, i am not infalliable, just something i think needs to be said more often :) |
| Re:what about this (Score:1) by diadian on Sunday October 24, @03:29PM EST (#299) (User Info) |
| Here are my thoughts. Get to know many girls. If you find one that you like a lot, spend more time with her. But don't get too serious about anyone just yet. Also don't just try to bed everyone that you meet. It could backfire when the sweet one that you found finds out. If you just relax and have fun you will find out that you had a wonderful college experience and you are comfortable enough with girls that you won't screw up saying hello to the one that counts. Good luck. |
| Me too, and I'm suicidally depressed. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:07PM EST (#356) |
| I don't understand how anyone could like college, or anything in general in life. My roommate is an annoying little fuck, and there hardly any girls who even talk to me. Maybe one girl who has a shaved head and lip rings. But the point is, I think being happy and modest is a big thing. It's hard to meet any girl when you're suicidally depressed. Anyone else notice (this is to those who are suicidally depressed) how your clear-thinking ability goes away when you're this down? I mean, I am having trouble with school now that I'm so depressed. Anyways, I don't know what else to say. Life just sucks cock 'n balls. email me at efnetbeer@beer.com if you feel the same, maybe we have something in common. |
| I hear you. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:29PM EST (#520) |
| Anyone else notice (this is to those who are suicidally depressed) how your clear-thinking ability goes away when you're this down? I mean, I am having trouble with school now that I'm so depressed. I'm not that far down right now but I have been in the past, and it's a motherfucker. You are by no means alone. Then on top of it all, you get morons telling you to "snap out of it" or "cheer up". There should be a law saying it's okay to punch those people. It's hard to meet any girl when you're suicidally depressed. Yes and no. I knew somebody in college who was depressed and horribly shy, and he used to go to parties and sit in the corner. It was like chick-magnet city. Seriously, they'd just go over and talk to him. He met a hell of a lot of women that way. Of course, he never got laid because he was depressed and shy and he always scared them off by acting weird, but it was still cool how many women he met :) Me, I had to corner them myself and then scare them off. It was a lot more work, for basically the same amount of rejection (and somewhat greater humiliation). I don't know about medication (you're probably aware that views on it range from "great" to "pure evil"), but old-fashioned talk-therapy can actually help in some cases (well, mine anyway :). It's not a magic wand, it's not going to "change" you or change anything else, but if you're serious about it, a good shrink is a more stable and reliable (and more painfully honest) reality-check than the friends of a suicidally depressed person are likely to be. If your college health service will cough up for it, it may be worth considering (I've heard that MIT has their campus shrink hotline on the root menu on all the DEC stations in the engineering library -- don't tell me it's not true! It's a good story!). It may turn out to be utterly worthless, of course. Good luck. Don't take anything too seriously. |
| Re:I hear you. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @12:24AM EST (#549) |
| >you get morons telling you to "snap out of it" or "cheer up". There should be a law saying it's okay to punch those people. There's no need for a stinkin' law. Heh, heh... |
| Re:what about this (Score:1) by Anfo (ryan@qwk.net) on Sunday October 24, @09:53PM EST (#476) (User Info) http://www.linuxhardware.com |
| Most girls who appear "stuck up" are actually quite shy. As far as fulfilling physical desires vs finding the semi-perfect girl, find the semi-perfect girl and establish a good relationship with her. You will probably be pleasantly surprised. Most women are not overly impressed with a guys list of exploits. The would rather think that you think they are special. My $0.02 worth. Anfo |
| You're young. Get laid. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:37PM EST (#528) |
| But use a fucking condom, for Christ's sake! Please, really. Shit happens. And it's not just HIV, either. The clap, crabs, herpes, warts, the list goes on and they all suck. Oh, yeah, unwanted pregancies are no fun either. I learned that the hard way freshman year. Thank God she wasn't Catholic. Should i concentrate on fulfilling my physical desires (with girls of course), or should I go out looking for that semi-perfect girl? Nah, just find one you like, have sex a lot, discover that you're totally incompatible, fight, break up, and then mope around until you find another victim. When you meet the Right Woman, it'll happen by accident and you probably won't even know it for a while -- you'll just wake up one day and realize that this relationship doesn't suck. Don't jump into anything and don't feel like you're in a race. You've got until you're thirty before you have to start panicking and sending away to the Phillipines for a mail-order bride. I'm thirty-one. Don't ask. |
| Re:what about this (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 27, @02:14AM EST (#764) |
| Ok, I'm in college, 2nd year... I'd love to spend time with girls, get to know some, but I don't know where to start. I guess I'm just wondering what it says about me if I just wander around the girl's floor above me aimlessly, or is there some other way, or some other specific suggestion... |
| Ok, enough! (Score:2, Informative) by Skynet on Sunday October 24, @11:38AM EST (#23) (User Info) |
| I'm getting really sick of this crap that all people with hi-tech IT jobs have to be loveless geeks with no social graces. It's simply not true. It's been a consistent story on Wired and other news sources. Now I have Slashdot telling me how to pick up women? |
| Well said - millions of people work in IT (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:49PM EST (#137) |
| ...and they range from guys who can score on request to guys who are virgins at 50... |
| ... but few of them are geeks/nerds (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:52PM EST (#228) |
| the people I see working in my IT department these days are pathetically uninformed and unwilling to learn their chosen field. Clearly, Roblimo was aiming his article at those on the far end of the curve... |
| Re:Ok, enough! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:57PM EST (#145) |
| IT != geek fool |
| Re:Ok, enough! (Score:2) by chromatic on Sunday October 24, @02:09PM EST (#240) (User Info) http://snafu.wgz.org/chromatic/ |
| People actually do ask Roblimo those questions fairly often. (It helps that he's head-over-heels for Debbie and talks about her a lot.) Maybe he just attracts single guys who think they're down on their luck. Seems like a thankless job to me, telling a bunch of people to get up, look beyond themselves, and start talking to other people. -- QDMerge 0.4 just released! Nitrozac Boot Squad/A |
| This stuff is valuable, folks.. (Score:1) by spyke (spykert@telusplanet.net) on Sunday October 24, @11:38AM EST (#25) (User Info) http://www.freenet.edmonton.ab.ca/~spykert/ |
| I'm one of those teenage-types, and a true geek/nerd/whatever. I have had absolutely *no* luck with women, so any advice is welcomed with open arms. I guess I've been doing everything wrong. But the question is, I suppose, is this really true? I guess only time will tell. |
| Re:This stuff is valuable, folks.. (Score:0, Offtopic) by W Parasyte (parasyte13@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:08PM EST (#164) (User Info) http://www.jps.net/jmg1/ |
| Well, I'm one of those nerd types too. Not completely... while my life revolves around computers, I don't yet know enough to be programming etc. But I've found the same lack of a love interest that a lot of people express. I haven't had a girlfriend in 2.5 years. 'Course, I don't really get to complain; I know people 10 years older than me who've never had a girlfriend. I'm about to get a girlfriend soon, though. I can't tell you why; I wasn't particularly smooth or anything, and I'm terminally shy, and quite hard to get to know. I'm secretive about a lot of things, especially to people I just met. However, by some coincidence (which is kinda funny, she was trying to avoid this guy that she doesn't like) she started talking to me. She had the patience to talk to me for a while, put up with my not-talking-ness, tell me about herself, and wait to find out about me. She really likes me for who I am now, especially since she found out I'm highly honest with people I'm very close to. While we're not technically a couple (she's just now allowed to date, she wants to try several guys first... and there's nothing I can do about that.), I have total trust and confidence in her... and I'm pretty sure that we'll end up going out fairly soon. Heh, we're probably gonna go see Princess Mononoke on the 6th, after it comes out in Sacramento :) But I haven't told you all about her. She's absolutely beautiful (though she'd say she's not, and she thinks that no one else thinks that). She's one of the nicest people I've ever known. She's very cute in her mannerisms. She sorta likes computers... not with the same passion I do, but she can understand how I feel. I really love her, and I hope to be with her for a very long time. Anyway, I think I've gone on long enough here... there's just one more thing, you can see pictures of her here and here I hope you've enjoyed my nonsensical sappy corny loving ranting :) |
| Re:This stuff is valuable, folks.. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @03:56PM EST (#304) |
| Oh that is soo sweet! |
| I may be bitter and twisted but... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:05PM EST (#380) |
| I can see how this is gonna end...i've had 2 long term (one for 4 years) relationships then when you think that this is for life you get the "....i'm sorry but i've changed..." line. Well, now I realised that women dont know what they really want (both times the girls were pretty sure they wanted to get married) and if you give them what they say the want, they 'change'. I've started working out in a gym, and concentrating on my finances - i'm going to get rich then at least i'll be able to pick the best (personality and compatibility wise) from the gold diggers that will come out of the woodwork. When you are making the choices at least you are shaping your own future. I'll also be able to give more money to charity which will be nice cos i'm that kind of guy :) |
| Get into a sport (I suggest biking) (Score:1) by guisar on Monday October 25, @08:55AM EST (#648) (User Info) http://www.penguinpowered.com/~seiferth |
| Best observation I have for other programmers is GET INTO A SPORT- you'll live longer, feel better and meet tight women who wear tight clothes :) Seriously, I'm into biking and suspect other sw types would be as well. You can do it alone if you want or in groups. It's really exhilarating. I do the road thing but mountain bikes are cool also. You get into a lot of conversations with women in a non-pressured atmosphere and when it comes time- they really love the shaved leg thing. |
| Shouldn't be computer illiterate, though (Score:2, Insightful) by CvD (costynSPAMMERSDIE@bigfoot.kawm) on Sunday October 24, @11:40AM EST (#27) (User Info) |
| I applaud this article, however, There is a danger in having a girlfriend who knows next to nothing about computers: they don't understand why you need to spend so much time behind the monitor. They feel a little alienated and somehow as if the computer deserves more attention than them. The author says that you should look for a woman that is willing to accept that you spend these long periods of time, but I can tell you that those are far and few in between. Also, if they don't know/care, it can be difficult for them to understand your world. And who ever said that other coders (your girlfriend in this case) are your competitors. I don't consider my other geek friends my competitors... Of course, it's true that she'd be likely to be busy with her own things, and there'd be even less time toghether. Still, I agree with a lot of things in this article. Looks aren't everything, and I'd rather have someone who I could have an intelligent conversation with than some girl that is only beautiful. Cheers! |
| Re:Shouldn't be computer illiterate, though (Score:1) by werd life on Sunday October 24, @12:13PM EST (#84) (User Info) |
| There is some truth in this... My last girlfriend REALLY DID GET JEALOUS if I spent too much time in front of the computer :) It was mostly due to me working on cs assignments though, and I did find it kind of cute and of course took time away from the monitor every once in a while to give her a few hugs/kisses/whatever to try and show her that i appreciated her coming over and studying in my room while I was working on the latest networks assignment or whatever... |
| Re:Shouldn't be computer illiterate, though (Score:1) by MisterClaw on Sunday October 24, @12:32PM EST (#109) (User Info) |
| In relationship, it's very important for each person to understand and accept the other persons's passions in life, whether they are computers, sports, art, or whatever. Usually when I date someone, I like to learn more about what they like. It shows interest in them, and I know I liked it when someone I dated actually installed linux and started to run it. :) |
| Re:Shouldn't be computer illiterate, though (Score:1) by Loudog (alphageek@doghaus.org) on Sunday October 24, @01:03PM EST (#154) (User Info) http://www.doghaus.org |
| Um, not entirely true. The important thing is that they are willing to learn, not that they know it. My wife asks a ton of questions about what I do and why I am doing it, and has become quite good at decrypting "geek speak". She does call the computer the "other woman" and the "Beige Bitch" at times, but always with a smile and a sigh. She's also taught me more than I ever thought I'd know about finance and accounting -- and I actually found it interesting. If the learning is two way, the relationship might make it. We are all changing all the time, so every day I rediscover what a wonderful person I married. |
| can't stop laughing (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @04:47AM EST (#600) |
| the "beige bitch"... that's killing me... |
| Re:Shouldn't be computer illiterate, though (Score:1) by jgerman on Sunday October 24, @09:17PM EST (#462) (User Info) |
| I agree. It can also be a problem when a girl, knows nothing about computers and has an hour long argument with you about why everyone hates Bill Gates because he is a rich computer genius. Uuugh I still get angry about it. |
| Re:Shouldn't be computer illiterate, though (Score:1) by lightPhoenix (gondekDotOneAtosuDotedu) on Monday October 25, @04:04AM EST (#591) (User Info) |
| I will wholeheartedly agree to this. My past relationships w/ girls has shown me that the ones who use/appreciate computers, give me alot more time for my obsession. Girls I have dated in the past that didn't understand computers, usually got greatly disgruntled when I'd spend time blowing stuff up on it, or playing one more battle in Final Fantasy Tactics on PSX. Now, admittedly, the circumstances of the relationships were different, the better/more accepting ones did come later when I was older/wiser. Really though, I think this is something that has to be dealt with on a unique relationship basis, each one fitting into your life differently. Making it fit is very important. -------------- go read sluggy! www.sluggy.com |
| Re:Shouldn't be computer illiterate, though (Score:1) by DaveTerrell (dbt@meat.net) on Monday October 25, @08:02PM EST (#712) (User Info) http://wwn.nebcorp.com/ |
I applaud this article, however, There is a danger in having a girlfriend who knows next to nothing about computers: they don't understand why you need to spend so much time behind the monitor. They feel a little alienated and somehow as if the computer deserves more attention than them. The author says that you should look for a woman that is willing to accept that you spend these long periods of time, but I can tell you that those are far and few in between. Enh. I disagree. My current girlfriend is a philosophy major currently working on her masters on her way to a PhD, and she knows next to nothing about computers. Her only email address is @hotmail.com, for chrissakes. :) But she does understand that I do things like read slashdot and news, IRC, and write code on a pretty regular basis, and she has no problem just walking up behind me and saying "okay, now pay attention to me." in exactly those words. The important thing here is to take that seriously.... :) |
| Women more complex than even sendmail ? (Score:2, Funny) by bug1 on Sunday October 24, @11:40AM EST (#28) (User Info) |
| As a generalisation women may be more complex, but if you get into specifics, i hear sendmail is pretty complex.... Too scary for me to go near "The value of money is dependent on wealth" |
| What about emacs? (Score:1) by Enzo_Falzon (enzo_falzon@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:25PM EST (#190) (User Info) |
| I mean, the thing *IS* the kitchen sink after all... |
| ...Emacs & wimmin'; they're pretty similar: (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:35PM EST (#261) |
| if you want any real response, you have to hit two or three buttons at once. |
| Emacs & men; they're pretty similar: (Score:1) by hypatia on Sunday October 24, @11:28PM EST (#519) (User Info) |
| in both cases, I'd much rather use vi... |
| Re: I've heard that mysql has just a many......? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:49PM EST (#432) |
| I've heard that mysql has just a many non-features than the girls that I go after (well, I figure that out in the end... After going out with them) |
| Yes, women more complex than even sendmail. (Score:1) by locoluis (lugonzal@COMPRE-webhost.cl) on Sunday October 24, @09:59PM EST (#479) (User Info) http://www.webhost.cl/~lugonzal/ |
| And the humans created thing so complex that even sendmail can appear as too simple compaired by that things. But no human being can create a woman... Did you? -- Luis Alejandro Gonzalez Miranda, Linux User and God believer. |
| Re:Women more complex than even sendmail ? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 28, @04:26PM EST (#770) |
| unfortunately someone stole my copy of the O'Reilly brat book.... ;| |
| How to meet the perfect girl? (Score:1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:43AM EST (#32) |
| So how does one meet the perfect girl? Not everyone likes to go barhopping, either guys or gals. And not everyone is still in college, either. What's the secret? |
| Re:How to meet the perfect girl? (Score:1) by phantomlord (phantoml@frontiernet.net) on Sunday October 24, @01:02PM EST (#152) (User Info) |
| This is generally my biggest problem. Finding a good place to meet girls... I'm not really the bar scene or clubbing type( I find getting wasted rather idiotic and clubbing boring and a meager attempt to try to be like everyone else. ) I manage a restaurant so I meet plenty of people there but I don't consider work to be the proper place to pickup women( be it other college aged employees or customers ) and I generally don't go to restaurants outside of work because that whole scene gets rather dull being in one 40-60 hours a week. I live in a medium sized rural town so there isn't anywhere to go/anything to do for 40 miles and since everyone has cars, you don't find people just hanging out somewhere( other than a bar or restaurant ). To further complicate things, my dad had a stroke last year so I've taken a leave of absense from work and school to take care of him until he's back on his feet again so it's pretty tough for me to get out... yet I still desire a relationship. I'm only 22 but I feel very much like my dad after my mom divorced him, utterly alone( not so much guy-friendship wise as we were always best of friends but in the female relationship way ) and helpless to do anything about it. -- |
| Re:How to meet the perfect girl? (Score:1) by HarveyNeon (har_veee@spankspammers.hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:12PM EST (#172) (User Info) http://members.dencity.com/harv |
| STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER! slowly... ok, now go for a walk. see that woman there? use a cheesey pickup line on her. yeah. there you go. now ask her some questions.. easy.. you don't want to spook her.. now agree with her.. yes.. very good.. point out some similarities between you and what she tells you of herself.. easier said than done, i know. i'm 22 as well. i work too much, i sit in front of the computer too much, i hate the club scene. what are we to do? we're a lot alike you and me, but instead of a sick father, i have a fresh breakup weighing me down. 4 years, out the window! see ya harv, not nice knowin ya because i don't want to know ya anymore! women! arrrg! I'm from Canada. I've never seen an igloo. beer, eh? oui. |
| Re:How to meet the perfect girl? (Score:1) by phantomlord (phantoml@frontiernet.net) on Sunday October 24, @01:38PM EST (#214) (User Info) |
| ok, now go for a walk. see that woman there? use a cheesey pickup line on her. yeah. there you go. now ask her some questions.. Interaction really isn't my problem. Since I grew out of that strange teenage "what if she rejects me" thing, I've always figured the worst that'll happen is they'll say no. That being said, the hardest part for me is finding a good place to meet someone decent( she doesn't have to be some obscure fantasy woman, merely someone who I can converse somewhat intelligently( not how to debug an 11 million line program but enough to be somewhat intellegent when an interesting topic comes up ) with and not be scary to look at ). Also, good luck, I know how tough it is and the end of long term relationships. |
| Re:How to meet the perfect girl? (Score:1) by jemhddar (m_helling@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @02:28PM EST (#255) (User Info) |
| Well, you'll have to beat me up because I've already got the perfect girl, and you cant have her! :) I met my gf and swept her off her feet by doing something totally unexpected and nice. I overheard her tell someone when her birthday was, and later heard her tell someone else to email her. (No, I wasnt STALKING her. Just overheard these things b/c we were in the same room. Before that day I didn't even know her name) So then the next week I sent her an email on her birthday. Nothing special, just a funny joke and well wishes. We emailed back and forth a few times(shes an IT person too, but not as geeky as I), then started dating. First couple times we went out w/ some of her friends, then solo dates, then solo dates at my place. Now we're living together and planning to get married. We're both happy, and the main reason for that is we give each other space. Since we are both still in school(masters in IT) we have homework and school time etc. But we spend a lot of time together, just watching tv, walking, etc. A guy earlier in the conversation gave sexual advice-- dont worry about that, you have to get to date 3 or 4, and if a girl gives you that many times to go out, likely she's interested in other things about you. One other thing, once you do live with her, shower/bathe together. My gf doesnt have the perfect body(I have the body of a God, Buddha), but you want to make sure to let her know how much it pleases her. Don't lie, that's guaranteed to make her upset, but compliment her when she looks pretty or wears a nice outfit. Roblimo talked about how his wife redecorates, my gf buys clothes and movies ALL the time. I don't make any noise about that, and she doesn't make noise about the 5 computers in the house. Oh yeah, flowers for no reason are always nice too. matt ------ |
| Well, here are some suggestions: (Score:1) by telos (coleary@spam&die.ndbt.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:26PM EST (#193) (User Info) http://www.ndbt.com |
| I know women are often hard to find if you don't do the dance scene or go bar hopping. Not doing either of those things is sometimes an extremely good thing. As one of the female geeks that is always on the lookout for decent girls to introduce to my male friends, i have found Roblimo's, our "pimp of slashdot", comments to actually be resonably accurate. Now, i may take issue with him on the subject of dating geek girls, but he is right in that for a lot of people, geek girls would be a bad match. (My bf who is watching me type this says "Especially if there is only one working computer.) Places to start meeting girls: 1. Classes other people can consider hard, or even better, a good old fashioned literature or fine arts class. 2. Work, I don't usually recommend dating coworkers, but if you can find a cute little secretary or accountant in another department that you don't really relate to, you could have a wonderful time. 3. Gasp, Sports, a lot of women like to go out and play sports. If you join the company softball team, you could meet that quiet pretty little thing from another department or another commpany and just hit it right off. 4. Coffee houses are the new bars in a manner of speaking for a lot of younger people. I don't know how lucky you would get, but at least the coffee is good 5. Church, I know i said an unheard of word as far as some people are concerned, but going to your local house of worship is often a very good place to find funny and entertaining women. There is something to be said for being active in your religion of choice. 6. Actually let one of your friends set you up on a date, you may only allow this once depending on your friend's taste. Lastly, I think just going out and being social in the evening instead of planting yourself in front of a computer monitor helps. Now, I am very guilty of being stuck in front of a computer monitor for large periods of time, so i am not accuseing anyone. As a geeky girl, I hope these sugestions help 'cause these are the places where you will find my non-geeky friends. "Alt-F4 that's for quitting" quoth Dan_Wood |
| Re:Well, here are some suggestions: (Score:1) by Mock (kstenerud@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @09:30PM EST (#464) (User Info) |
| 5. Church, I know i said an unheard of word as far as some people are concerned, but going to your local house of worship is often a very good place to find funny and entertaining women. There is something to be said for being active in your religion of choice. Danger, Will Robinson, Danger! This is a VERY BAD IDEA. As an ex-christian, I have witnessed countless people come into the church to find a girl. What you're not realizing is that the church elders will have a lot of say on this issue, and will always speak against this kind of relationship. The reasoning behind this is that in dating someone, you are essentially courting them for marriage. And marriage between the believer and the non-believer ("Do not be yoked together with unbelievers") is a Bad Thing (tm). Essentially, don't expect to get anywhere with a Christian girl unless you plan to be converted. |
| Re:church and girls (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @11:53PM EST (#727) |
| That's why he said the *religion of _your choice_*. He meant find a religious institution compatible with your beliefs. |
| Re:Well, here are some suggestions: (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @05:27AM EST (#608) |
| Money Money and lots of it. If they are 30ish Children and Marry.. Living in a caravan/trailer park is better than the best condo, although she lack the ability to play bridge and tennis Be kind and professional at all times - go out of you way to help may not |
| Re:How to meet the perfect girl? (Score:1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:51PM EST (#226) |
| Here is wisdom, Grasshopper: To find the perfect girl, stop looking. Concentrate on living "in the moment", and be open to all possibilities. |
| Re:How to meet the perfect girl? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:06PM EST (#310) |
| Some suggestions: - try to get out as often as possible - try to be on good terms with your sister. hang out with her - attend other people's weddings (especially your sister's wedding) |
| Re:How to meet the perfect girl? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:15PM EST (#318) |
| I always used to think bars and clubs were the best place to meet girls at, then I came to college and went to a few bars/clubs for over a semester and had no luck. After that I got a job as a computer lab assistant, probably the geekiest job on campus and surprisingly enough, my two last girlfriends I have met while working. |
| ....Fate.... (Score:1) by Kit10 (ksenia@glue.umd.edu) on Sunday October 24, @05:06PM EST (#355) (User Info) |
| I never believed in fate, or love at first sight, or any of that bullshit... Well. All I can say is - keep your eyes open, and don't be surprised if one fine day your life just flips upside down, knocks you out of a relationship that's not too great for you, and right into the soulmate you'd never met before.... This stuff does happen. Oh. And yes. Do keep your eyes -open-, which means you look for what a person -is-, and not what they look like. |
| This doesn't work... (Score:1, Funny) by bero-rh (bero@redhat.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:45AM EST (#33) (User Info) http://people.redhat.com/bero |
| There's a bug in your HOWTO - it assumes you actually know people who might be interested and you can choose. ;) There's no such thing as "free tours for female singles through the Red Hat development offices so we can talk to them"... ;) |
| Re:This doesn't work... (Suggestion) (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:03PM EST (#155) |
| Valid bug. But there is an easy fix. Female tours through the offices - that would be a dream. Its not like you are going to get any chances in the park (unless you are in say...marketing). Try taking a long lunch in Chapel Hill on friday. Its a slight twist on the male-female ration offered in RTP. Or if you want - enjoy nightlife in Chapel Hill. But do things - don't stand there. Too increase odds - have fun. One thing that should be noted - smiling does increase your odds. :) |
| Bug in the bugfix (Score:1) by bero-rh (bero@redhat.com) on Monday October 25, @04:33AM EST (#597) (User Info) http://people.redhat.com/bero |
| Two bugs actually. ;) First of all - "To increase odds - have fun" definitely doesn't work - I'm having fun 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (hacking Linux, of course ;)). The side effect is that I close to never leave the office. ;) So, s/increase/decrease/g might be a good thing in the HOWTO... The second bug is that NC is not the only RH office... Going to Chapel Hill on a Friday would be rather expensive from the various parts of RH Europe. ;) |
| Utterly utterly offensive (Score:5, Funny) by Tony Shepps (antonNOSPAM@zerodefect.net) on Sunday October 24, @11:45AM EST (#34) (User Info) http://www.zerodefect.net/anton |
Let's sum up:
|
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:2, Insightful) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:59AM EST (#61) (User Info) |
| Thank you for a clearer sum-up of the clueless and/or offensive and/or sexist aspects of this particular article than I was able to provide. By the way, the endless comparisons of women and computers/software were really asinine. Fancy box? Not open-source? Please.
|
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:46PM EST (#271) |
| Your "fancy box" and "open-source" comments show that your sense of humor driver was left out when you were built Using the lingo of a group to communicate a point is useful. You appear to misunderstand that that is what the author was doing. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Sunday October 24, @07:35PM EST (#422) (User Info) |
| You're right. I was wrong. That probably was what he was doing. That was kinda stupid of me. Humor driver. ;-) To steal from one is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @03:36PM EST (#301) |
| When you first learned what a router does, were the words "post office" used? Using the standard language of a forum is a vaild and effective way to get your point across. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Sunday October 24, @07:37PM EST (#423) (User Info) |
| You're right. I should have seen that that was what he was doing. Still, the objectification implications were kinda rude. To steal from one is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:2, Insightful) by apocalypse_now (messt66+@die.die.die.pitt.edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:59AM EST (#62) (User Info) http://matt.vegan.net/ |
| That was exactly what I was thinking. All this post -- and many of the comments -- proved is that geeks are just as fucking stupid as other guys are. Show women some respect, you bastards. They're human beings, just like you. -- Matt Singerman http://matt.vegan.net/ |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by QuMa (fvw@var.cx) on Sunday October 24, @12:48PM EST (#136) (User Info) http://var.cx |
| Well, not EXACTLY like us. That makes it fun. :-) Instant karma's gonna get you. -- John lennon |
| hello-ooo-oooo! this is satire, people (Score:1) by rp on Sunday October 24, @09:54PM EST (#478) (User Info) |
| Anybody home in there? The original guide for girls on how to avoid geeks article that was posted a few days ago was already way over the top, but I was pretty amused this attempt to outdo it Even if you missed the original article, you must be pretty dense not to recognise this thing as satire. This is in the humor section. H-u-m-o-r. Think about it. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by mezzo (mezzopiano@yummyspam.yahoo.com) on Monday October 25, @11:01AM EST (#667) (User Info) |
| thank you matt. i m a geek girl. and hopefully i shall find a nice geek guy. i dont mind rubbing his shoulders when he is tired after all day programming. but i expect him to rub my shoulders too when i get tired. but maybe its too much to ask? |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:2, Insightful) by Stiletto (stiletto_NO@SPAM_.mediaone.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:09PM EST (#79) (User Info) http://www.pompano.net/~stiletto |
| I wouldn't call it offensive. Geek girls are incapable of being loving and considerate, and unloving and inconsiderate geek guys have to avoid that. Doesn't apply to all of them, but many. The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. The proper role for the woman is that of handservant, who considers running your bathwater to be part of a "mutually beneficial" relationship. Maybe not ideal for _you_, but this is what lots of guys are looking for. One way to evaluate a woman is to take off her clothes and makeup. That's one way.. there are others. In bars, the females that are unattainable are called "women" while the ones that you are supposed to go after are called "girls". I don't know what this means. If a woman finds you unattractive, dump her as quickly as possible. I agree...assuming she doesn't dump you first. Grown breasts are worth waiting for. Might be his personal preference. Be nice to geeky looking girls, just in case they grow up and look good. Advice to LIVE BY. In spite of all of the above, imperfections are to be overlooked. Nobody's perfect. All women are looking for a man to fill the empty void in their lives. Many are, and many men are looking for a woman to fill a void, so this statement is only partially true. If you're not having any success, find someone like Roblimo, considers himself an expert at picking up chix and is ready to dispense a handful of advice because he has a pleasant and apparently subservient wife who meets his needs. Advice can be taken or ignored. He didn't force you to accept his advice did he? I think some of his points were very realistic and can help out people who are shy or have problems with the opposite sex. You've done nothing but criticize. "In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt." -- Blair P. Houghton |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:16PM EST (#87) |
| you must be insane! You really dont get it, here are some points that you may not be aware of: 1) wife is not a synonym for slave 2) women are not valued soley on their appearence 3) if all you love about a woman are her breasts you are going to be very dissapointed later( wait till she's 60 ) 4) Women have minds and ambitions too, they have not been created just to help you get what you want... |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:5, Insightful) by Stiletto (stiletto_NO@SPAM_.mediaone.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:51PM EST (#138) (User Info) http://www.pompano.net/~stiletto |
| Congratulations. You've won the political correctness award. I guess you think you deserve a prize. Truth is, I've goon from the shy nerd who coudln't get any, to a guy who has to pick and choose, all because of a little attitude adjustment called "REALISM". Myth: As a man, we should forget about our own needs. The way to get respect from a girl is to treat them like a princess. Fact: Some relationships work great this way. But for those of us who don't buy the whole "give give give" deal, there are plenty of (IMHO) strong girls out there who will repect you more if you are honest about what you want in a relationship. If all you want is sex, say so. The ones who arent into that will slap you in the face and leave (good riddance) and the ones who are into it will respect you more for being honest and upfront about it. There's nothing more pathetic to watch a guy kiss a girl's ass while she cheats on him behind his back. Myth: Finding a good girl is like playing the lottery. Fact: Finding a good girl is more like shopping for a computer. You like games? Get the one with the fast 3d features. You more down to business? Get one that suits your needs. There are lots of girls out there. No matter what you look like or how much you make, you can still pick and choose. Just get off your ass and meet as many girls you can. Myth: Girls have all the power when you are single and looking for a girlfriend. Fact: Only if you _ask_ rather than _suggest_. This is the best advice I can give to geek guys wondering why girls always walk all over them. Never ASK a girl ANYTHING. The only power she has is the power you give her. Grow a backbone and some balls and they will see the change instantly. "Here's someone who is confident and knows what he wants," they will say, "I like him already." Myth: There's always a way to "work it out". Fact: If someone doesn't meet your needs, or if you don't meet their needs, the best thing you can do is get out of the relationship as quickly as possible. Staying in a relation that isn't satisfying is the best way for both to become bitter and resentful of each other. Myth: There is just one special person for you, and you live your life to find that special someone. Fact: There are lots of people that are compatible with you. Find the one or ones who you get along with best, and dump the rest of them. "In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt." -- Blair P. Houghton |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:0, Troll) by Freehold on Sunday October 24, @01:15PM EST (#177) (User Info) |
| You know, this is just plain sickening. This is like the male equivalent of that Weekly World News thing. So you're saying we should treat women like pathetic airheads who only want to be controlled and forced to do things they don't want to. Lets not ask them what they want, lets tell them what we want and they damn well better be listening. Thaks for the tip! And when I get maried, I'll remember to beat my wife. |
| Confidence and Honesty... (Score:1) by Driph (slashdot@flummox.com) on Monday October 25, @04:30AM EST (#596) (User Info) http://www.flummox.com |
Exactly. I'd been reading the comments waiting for someone else to mention this. You'd be surprised at how well you can do with women if you are simply confident and honest(as opposed to egotistical and bluntly crass, however.) Ever notice that when it rains it pours? You get together with a woman, or perhaps you are seeing someone... suddenly, there are more women available(even if they don't know you are dating someone else...) Why is this? Because your confidence level has gone up. You also tend to speak to other women as PEOPLE when you aren't aggressively on the hunt. Learn to do that all the time. Realise that they are individuals such as yourself who like conversation, someone to spend time with, and to get laid now and then. If you want a woman just for sex, don't put on a show or try to con her into thinking you are interested in a long term relationship.. treat her with respect; just as you don't want a woman to fool you, she's not going to take that very well either._____________________________________________________________ The question is, do I really want to be on index.pl right now? |
| Clueless? (Score:2, Insightful) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Sunday October 24, @12:35PM EST (#116) (User Info) |
| You've missed the point. "Many" geek girls are unloving, inconsiderate? Many PEOPLE are like that. But most? All? The implication in the original article was that ALL geek girls are like that. Thus, criticism in the post to which you responded. So many men are looking for a selfless handservant, who doesn't take, only gives. Point: Those women will BORE YOU given time. Sure, I give, but I also take. And I can take it if he spends a majority of his life at the computer, but I'll yell at him if it means he's neglecting me. The "evaluation via nude appearance" thing is satirical; I won't bother. The "women"/"girls" problem: the atuthor of the article used these referents, which may imply that he sees the women you can't get as mature and the girls you can get as immature, not yet fully females, etc. Dumping an woman who finds you unattractive...how do you know she does? And wouldn't this be related more to other problems? And why would she be with you if she didn't want to? Maybe Robin's personal preference IS to act nice to geek girls in case they grow nice breasts. But are these words to live by...for all of us? Or just for him? If it's just for him, then why is he telling us to do it? And if it's for "us," then what's a female geek to do "I must, I must, I must increase my bust"? (Oh, by the way, you may notice that the girl, Jessica, whom he wished he'd gotten, was a geek. Breaking Rule #!, Robin! None of them uppity geek chix!) No. Nobody's perfect. But the author of the post to which you responded was pointing out the hypocrisy/contradiction among the implications of the pieces of advice in the article. The "void" thing -- no judgments here. Some people are happy alone, some aren't, some are dependent on others for happiness, or so they believe. Men, women, all of us. But Uncle Robin's advice simply feeds/buys into the stereotype that women are like this, that we need men for happiness. And yes, we can ignore his advice. And we should, some of it, because IT'S BAD ADVICE. Sure, some of it's good, some of it's bad. Many of the critics here have acknowledged and praised the good advice in the article. What's wrong with criticism? One post may criticize, another may praise, even by the same poster. It has a valid place in Slashdot discussions, in any discussion.
|
| Re:Clueless? (Score:1) by Stiletto (stiletto_NO@SPAM_.mediaone.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:58PM EST (#148) (User Info) http://www.pompano.net/~stiletto |
| Point taken. I think we can both agree that the best way to give advice is to not make generalizations, because although generalizations are many times on the mark, they don't work all the time, and if taken as gospel truth can lead to mistakes. Oh and by the way I always use the term "girls" to avoid the whole girls/women thing... "In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt." -- Blair P. Houghton |
| About the geekyness thing (Score:1) by Freehold on Sunday October 24, @01:07PM EST (#163) (User Info) |
| "Be nice to geeky looking girls, just in case they grow up and look good. Advice to LIVE BY." Now, the other points I suppose are points of personal preference. Personally, I find large breasts rather unattractive. I mean, think of all the beter uses for that silicon. But that's personal preference. This comment though, implies some sort of superficial idiocy. I mean, think back to when you were a geek in high school. Didn't you just wish people would look past your geekiness. To have people saying that just because they're female, they're not worth anything until they're perfect and subservient makes me ashamed to be male. Besides, braces are damn sexy. |
| Re:About the geekyness thing (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:50PM EST (#433) |
| I'm gonna assume that for the sake of not considering you an idiot that you were joking. You can't recycle breasts into chips. There is silicone and silicon. Silicon would make horrible breasts, with the possible exception of SMP. |
| The Geek Female - Misrepresented. (Score:4, Insightful) by kannen on Sunday October 24, @04:10PM EST (#313) (User Info) |
| Advice can be taken or ignored. He didn't force you to accept his advice did he? The problem is that the article misrepresented "geek girls" in a poor light and it did so to a very large audience. Who, might I ask, are geek girls supposed to find a date with? Your "traditional" male is frightened of geek girls due to superiority/inferiority of intellect issues and now geek males have been informed that geek girls are undesirable. This also begs the question: why can't geek girls be supportive, compassionate, and loving? The truth is that geek females range in their capacity to fulfill these qualities just as much as your geek male. Certainly there are geek males who are compassionate. It's the blanket condemnation of geek females that is problematic. Another /.er made the statement that a woman needs to serve the geek in question selflessly because that's what love is about: being selfless. I won't dispute that - but the original article failed to make the point that a man need be just as selfless. Guys need to be willing to drop coding for a night because sometimes their partner needs them too. Love is about give and take, and both parties need to be willing to give. George Will: Even the continents drift. |
| Re:The Geek Female - Misrepresented. (Score:2, Interesting) by coreybrenner (coreybrenner@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @04:45PM EST (#344) (User Info) |
| > Who, might I ask, are geek girls supposed to find a date with? Me. I like geek girls. :-) > This also begs the question: why can't geek girls be supportive, compassionate, and loving? I don't know if he meant that, per se. Fact is, though, that obsessive behavior (sometimes to the point of neglecting other, very important life details) is a pretty common trait in geeks. Ever lose track of the time when coding something, or researching some little nuance of an algorithm that has piqued your interest? I have. I can see where that could become a bone of contention in a relationship, unless both people understand what's going on. The geek in question (be it a male or female of the species) must know that that behavior is not conducive to gettin' a little lovin' once in a while. The other half of the relationship must also realize that the behavior is not intentional, and that that behavior in no way means that the geek thinks or feels less of you. Lots of us geeks have a problem with self-image. If I had a significant other, and that person spent more time doing (whatever) than spending time with me voluntarily, I might deduce (correctly or incorrectly) that that person has found a flaw in me that is causing them to not want to spend time with me. Geek guys and geek girls are susceptible to this mindset, and some might not realize that another's obsession with computing and technology might not be an escape from their inadequacy as a partner. That said, I've examined myself and have noted that, while I have no problem concentrating on some little bit of code I'm toying with for hours on end, or rearranging and rewiring 3+ TB of disks with about 5 minutes of thought, I cannot seem to remember to take my vitamins in the morning. Neglecting those things doesn't mean that I value them less (when I've had the mindset to take my vitamins and thyroid medication for, say, a week straight, I'm rewarded greatly - those things really do help you feel better...), but it's a quirk in my personality. > Guys need to be willing to drop coding for a night because sometimes their partner needs them > too. Indeed. The question isn't whether the person values you enough to drop whatever he or she is doing, but whether the fact that he or she is needed is even realized. Had I a significant other, I might be doing something quite geeky, walking around my apartment in my underwear (ack! the horror!) waving my hands around in a seemingly senseless dance in front of me (which is actually my using the air like an invisible whiteboard, figuring out some bit of an algorithm), and not notice that my partner was sitting on the couch, her knees drawn to her chest, staring blankly into the cushions, obviously bothered by something. It wouldn't be because I don't care for her, or that I'm insensitive to her needs, but that I've gone off on a tangent and need to be snapped back to reality. Oh, well... too much. Gotta go out and find a geek girl to make us both unhappy (hell... I'd like someone to discuss weirdo algorithms with, bounce ideas off of her and see if she has any input that might help me...). --Corey |
| Re:The Geek Female - Misrepresented. (Score:1) by llin on Monday October 25, @04:03AM EST (#590) (User Info) http://www-scf.usc.edu/~lhl/ |
Who, might I ask, are geek girls supposed to find a date with? Your "traditional" male is frightened of geek girls due to superiority/inferiority of intellect issues and now geek males have been informed that geek girls are undesirable. I believe you're answer lies with the Weekly World News. ;-P |
| Re:The Geek Female - Misrepresented. (Score:1) by Harri on Monday October 25, @04:09AM EST (#593) (User Info) |
| I thought the original point was that geek girls are bad for geek guys, which makes a lot of sense to me. I don't think it's ideal for anyone to go out with someone who shares an obsession as deep as geekism sometimes gets. It's always a breath of fresh air to talk about something _else_ for once! I'm sure the same applies for geek girls, nobody's being sexist. Well I don't think they are anyway. |
| Finally, a dose of reality - and GROOM Yourselves! (Score:1) by Black Dog on Monday October 25, @11:06AM EST (#672) (User Info) |
| I read this article to my wife and she found it quite offensive and sexist. We're both nerds, and found most of the "advice" overtly simplistic. Your comments are good. We'd like to point out, though that geek guys NEED to dress better. Showing up in a pair of baggy jeans, with running shoes and an untucked shirt does not endear you with the girls. Try looking a little preppy, cut the hair neatly, and shave off the facial hair if you can't grow a decent beard. Its that simple. |
| Re:The Geek Female - Misrepresented. (Score:1) by Parity on Monday October 25, @01:03PM EST (#694) (User Info) |
| Who, might I ask, are geek girls supposed to find a date with? Ummm. I'd take a cue from Helen: Sweetheart of the Internet and go after the artistic type. Okay, so Spenser and Helen have their problems, but I still think it's a great idea! Artists and Geeks complement each other wonderfully... if they don't kill each other. :) The same logic goes for geek guys, too, of course, keeping an eye out for artist women. (Of course, if you think all art is worthless spouting of personal views in different mediums then this advice should not apply to you. OTOH, if you have something against worthless spouting of personal views, why are you reading slashdot? :)) --Parity |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by Maul (spammaster@spamazon.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:19PM EST (#91) (User Info) http://isu.dark-jedi.org |
| Maybe Roblimo likes to have a "little wife" sitting around at home doing nothing, awaiting his return so that he can be served. Some of us actually want a person we can relate to, not someone who just cooks and cleans for us. Is there something wrong with a geek girl who works on her own projects and posts on Slashdot? I think not. Roblimo's saying that we shouldn't go for girls who maybe as smart or smarter than us. And I think most of us already knew not to expect to have the chicks in Playboy before reading Roblimo's happy little article. I don't think /. readers want to hang around the cheerleaders, etc. They aren't smart enough for our tastes. But I guess we can't all be 1337 chix0r magnets like Roblimo... "Sore wa HIMITSU desu!" -Xelloss |
| applause (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:31PM EST (#105) |
| Thanks. I was too lazy to log in and write that. There really are a lot of sad people who read /. I find Roblimo utterly repulsive, the scheming little twat. I feel sorry for his wife. This article is an insult to the intelligence of women and can only serve to embarrass the Open Source developer community. If you look, you'll see that we're not all sad little geeks who can't communicate properly because we've been sat in front of a monitor since birth. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:5, Insightful) by FortranDragon on Sunday October 24, @12:35PM EST (#115) (User Info) http://home.earthlink.net/~fortran/ |
| Interesting way of quoting someone's words without accurately representing their spirit. :) > Geek girls are incapable of being loving and considerate, and unloving and inconsiderate geek guys have to avoid that. Sometimes the worst person for you is the one that is exactly like you. Anyway, he didn't make that claim about Geek girls. > The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. Being in love with someone is being *willing* to selflessly meet your partners needs. This comes from within and isn't the terrible thing you seem to think it is. > The proper role for the woman is that of handservant, who considers running your bathwater to be part of a "mutually beneficial" relationship. That's _your_ claim (handservant). The point is to meet each other's needs. That's what is going to make the relationship work (among other things). > One way to evaluate a woman is to take off her clothes and makeup. Yes, it is. If those things are important to someone they'd better not pretend otherwise. If they do then the relationship is based on a lie. Just be honest that this is important. Then if that doesn't work for the other person you both can move on before you make each other's life a living hell. > In bars, the females that are unattainable are called "women" while the ones that you are supposed to go after are called "girls". He mainly used the word "women" so your comment is a strawman. Don't distort what he said otherwise you destroy your criticism. Unless, that is, you want to do a mindless politically correct troll. :) > If a woman finds you unattractive, dump her as quickly as possible. Why not? If she doesn't like you why force yourself on her? "No" is supposed to mean something is it not? > Grown breasts are worth waiting for. For some of us, yes. Others could care less. Remember, some of this is personal preference. Being offended by someone's personal preference is usually idiotic. It would be like saying you don't like someone because purple is their favorite color. > Be nice to geeky looking girls, just in case they grow up and look good. The moral of that story is "Be nice to everyone, 'cause that ugly duckling may just be the lovely swan -- and don't do to others what you don't like them doing to you." > In spite of all of the above, imperfections are to be overlooked. No, a relationship takes work and one of things you need to work on is making sure the other person can do the things they like in a relationship. > All women are looking for a man to fill the empty void in their lives The "all" is _your_ verbiage. If we use the accurate quote we would have a proper picture of what Roblimo really said. Which is very accurate. Anyway, I guess you haven't been on a college campus and met those women looking for their "MRS". But that's basic biology and you don't seem to like that. We'll skip your last ad-hominem attack and put it down to sour grapes. :) |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by Accipiter (shadSowfireP@hotAmail.cMom) on Sunday October 24, @01:07PM EST (#162) (User Info) http://www.hackphreak.org |
| Moderate this one up. You said exactly what I wanted to say, but your wording is far better than I could have done without sounding like a Troll. The point is, this article is advice. (And damn Good advice, in my opinion.) To Tony: Whether you choose to take it and use it is your decision. But for God's sake, don't criticize someone for offering help. The way you twisted Roblimo's words to suit your point is just wrong. -- Give him Head? Be a Beacon? |
| MODERATE THE ABOVE POST UP (Score:1) by Stradivarius (adkrol@netscape.net) on Sunday October 24, @01:14PM EST (#174) (User Info) |
| I couldn't have said it better myself... -Stradivarius |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:3, Insightful) by Tony Shepps (antonNOSPAM@zerodefect.net) on Sunday October 24, @02:37PM EST (#262) (User Info) http://www.zerodefect.net/anton |
| (Grown breasts are worth waiting for.) For some of us, yes. Others could care less. Remember, some of this is personal preference. Being offended by someone's personal preference is usually idiotic. I definitely have a preference for breast size - I won't mention what it is. But my favorite breasts are my wife's. Not because they're large, medium, or small, but because they're HERS. Take hers and put them on someone else, and in the long run they're not interesting to me. The point is that, if we're thinking, feeling people, we look beyond the superficial and fall in love with the REAL PERSON. We value who they are, and what they look like becomes less and less important, only important in that it is a part of them. Believe me, I'm not offended by Robin's preferences. I'm offended that he considers them so important that, in an essay on what to look for in a relationship, he made them the subject of over half of what he wrote. And in that particular case, he was basically saying that you should be nice to the ugly, not because you should be nice in general, but because they might someday be good-looking. His reasoning follows that if you knew in advance that they'd still be ugly in ten years, you'd have no reason to be nice to them. I got news for ya. In the long run, we're ALL ugly. In 10 years, 20 years, 30 years YOU will be the ugly one. After 20 years of gravity and infant feeding, those breasts won't be so pretty. If we're lucky, the majority of our lives will not be spent looking young and beautiful. If we're wise, those ugly years will still be meaningful, and we will not spend our time pining for the beautiful days. Anyway, I guess you haven't been on a college campus and met those women looking for their "MRS". But that's basic biology and you don't seem to like that. Not only have I been on a college campus and met those women, I've seen the result of those sorts of marriages in the long term. The current film "American Beauty" sums those marriages up extremely well -- full of empty accomplishments, missing most of what's really important in life. To say that husband-hunting is the result of basic biology -- that's even more offensive than Roblimo, who simply took his personal preferences and assumptions about the world and applied them to everyone. To you, the MRS women aren't merely trying to satisfy a societal preference, they're hard-wired to do so. Doesn't it bother you that that very thinking has been used to excuse the very worst of all human behaviors in history? |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by dattaway (dattaway@attaway.org) on Sunday October 24, @05:20PM EST (#361) (User Info) http://stats.distributed.net/rc5-64/tlist.php3?low=1&limit=100&source=y |
| I got news for ya. In the long run, we're ALL ugly. In 10 years, 20 years, 30 years YOU will be the ugly one. I view age differently. With age, breasts just become longer, penises grow larger. There's nothing wrong with "sexy grandmas" or grandfathers, yet Hollywood does not give us many role models for the older folks. Think Tina Turner and Clint Eastwood. They are up there in age. Wrinkles come from exposure to the sun and are multiplied by smoking. Nothing wrong with older women and men, except for those who do not take care of their health. Not everyone turns fat and ugly in old age. Some are still physicaly fit and like to fuck. Don't let age discourage, let it bring wisdom and happiness. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by [Dilbert] (bwm3 AT po DOT cwru DOT edu) on Sunday October 24, @06:47PM EST (#398) (User Info) |
| I definitely have a preference for breast size - I won't mention what it is. But my favorite breasts are my wife's. Amen to that. Well, not really, your wife's breasts aren't my favorite ;-) But my girlfriend's are. I mean, they look nice and all that on their own, but it's really the fact that they are hers that makes me like them. And don't even get me started about attractive women that think they aren't. My gf isn't perfect in the sense that everyone would think she's attractive, but to me, she most certainly is. I think she's hot, and damn she's got a great personality too. But *every* time I tell her how beautiful she is, she kind of shrugs it off, with just a simple "thank you" and a smile. She didn't really get the idea until she came to visit me at school and I pointed out the looks she was getting from other guys... and even then she tried to pass it off. Maybe I can get her to read this... (She's not really a geek, nor does she like computers that much, but i could send her the link) I'm beginning to rant here, sorry, but I want to say it because I think it can really help people. Be honest. And when you fall in love, tell the person. My current (and only gf as of yet - i'm 18/in college) didn't think it was possible for me to love her when I told her I did - it was after we went out three times or so. But my gut told me that I had found someone REALLY special and not to let go, and I haven't. Even after some rocky times, we're still together. (but now it's long distance - that can be REAL HARD.) So now it's been 9, going on 10 months, and I've been truly happy the whole time. When you find love, it IS the best thing you will ever find. I hate to sound all sappy, but I can't really help it... I love this girl, and I would love to simply walk around outside yelling to the world that I love her. I guess this is the closest I can get without being put in a padded room. :-) If I do get you to read this - I love you Liz. Sorry again for my rant, Slashdot, but I'm pretty damn happy here and I just want to tell people what they can look forward to.
From a motherboard manual, error beep codes: S-L-L-L-SS: Speaker Error |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by FortranDragon on Sunday October 24, @10:30PM EST (#499) (User Info) http://home.earthlink.net/~fortran/ |
I definitely have a preference for breast size - I won't mention what it is. But my favorite breasts are my wife's. Not because they're large, medium, or small, but because they're HERS. Take hers and put them on someone else, and in the long run they're not interesting to me. I would agree with your sentiment. For myself. I realize that others might and generally do think differently. Then again, liking just your partner is a different situation than being single and looking for a partner. Different rules apply. The point is that, if we're thinking, feeling people, we look beyond the superficial and fall in love with the REAL PERSON. We value who they are, and what they look like becomes less and less important, only important in that it is a part of them. The key is that "if". Not all people are like that. Nor do they want to be. If two people are happy with each other and choose to stay at a superficial level then who are we to say that they are wrong for having different standards than us? Also, all relationships start out at a superficial level. No one can look beyond the superficial until they've spent the years getting to know the "REAL PERSON". That "getting to know" takes a lot of open and very honest communication. So what is the problem with liking certain parts of a person and then making the effort to know more? Plus, why is it better to like one part of a person, such as their brain, and not another part of a person, such as their body? Some people are proud of those aspects of themselves. Should we blanket-dismiss certain things or should we appreciate what we like about a person, appreciate what they like and learn more about each other? Don't we have to start somewhere? Believe me, I'm not offended by Robin's preferences. I'm offended that he considers them so important that, in an essay on what to look for in a relationship, he made them the subject of over half of what he wrote. And in that particular case, he was basically saying that you should be nice to the ugly, not because you should be nice in general, but because they might someday be good-looking. His reasoning follows that if you knew in advance that they'd still be ugly in ten years, you'd have no reason to be nice to them. I don't follow that reasoning at all. What I see Roblimo confessing is that he looked at someone on a superficial level and didn't bother to learn the "REAL PERSON". Because of that mistake he lost out on being involved with someone that would have interested him if he had been a bit more aware himself. I got news for ya. In the long run, we're ALL ugly. In 10 years, 20 years, 30 years YOU will be the ugly one. After 20 years of gravity and infant feeding, those breasts won't be so pretty. If we're lucky, the majority of our lives will not be spent looking young and beautiful. If we're wise, those ugly years will still be meaningful, and we will not spend our time pining for the beautiful days. That's old news to me. :) My son is in school and my partner's (who is older than me) son is in university. The amusing thing (maybe news for you) is that breasts are still neat at any age, even if they've sagged or been baby chewed. You see, to me beauty has nothing to do with age and everything to do with the person. Not only have I been on a college campus and met those women, I've seen the result of those sorts of marriages in the long term. The current film "American Beauty" sums those marriages up extremely well -- full of empty accomplishments, missing most of what's really important in life. That depends on who you talk to. I know a number of women that are quite happy with their "MRS". They willingly chose that option with their eyes open. Are they to be dismissed as stupid simply because they chose to follow their bodies with their minds and lives? To say that husband-hunting is the result of _basic biology_ -- that's even more offensive than Roblimo, who simply took his personal preferences and assumptions about the world and applied them to everyone. To you, the MRS women aren't merely trying to satisfy a societal preference, they're hard-wired to do so. Doesn't it bother you that that very thinking has been used to excuse the very worst of all human behaviors in history? Sorry, but husband hunting is a basic fact of biology. Just as is the tendency of males to want to impregnate as many females as possible. The procreation instinct is the strongest survival instinct there is. (An interesting book to read on the subject is Sperm Wars by Robin Baker.) If it wasn't humanity wouldn't exist today. The fact that we are hard-wired to procreate is no more a cause of anguish than it is that we only see in a certain part of the electromagnetic spectrum. Actually, knowing how our bodies do really work gives us a better chance to make wise choices. Anyway, the fact that certain thinking has been misused doesn't mean that the thinking is wrong. If misuse destroyed the worth of an idea then things like freedom, democracy, equal rights, etc. would not be creditable instead of having such power these days. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:2, Insightful) by gargle on Sunday October 24, @04:42PM EST (#341) (User Info) |
| Tony Shepps understood the spirit of Roblimo's article perfectly. You haven't done anything other than repeat what he said. > The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. Being in love with someone is being *willing* to selflessly meet your partners needs. This comes from within and isn't the terrible thing you seem to think it is. That would be right, except that Roblimo advises one not to look for a geek girl because she'll be too busy hacking on computers to service your needs. Rather, find a girl willing to service your needs while you hack on your computers. > Be nice to geeky looking girls, just in case they grow up and look good. The moral of that story is "Be nice to everyone, 'cause that ugly duckling may just be the lovely swan Don't you get it? This is precisely what he takes offense against: being nice to someone just in case they turn out to be good looking. and don't do to others what you don't like them doing to you." Yes, but this sentiment wasn't present in Roblimo's aritcle. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:46PM EST (#130) |
| yeah ... that post was pretty fscked up! |
| he's being honest, not PC or hypocritical (Score:1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:01PM EST (#151) |
| I respect that. He knows well he'll be flamed but he's just saying what's on his mind and many others. I respect his authoritah! |
| Re:he's being honest, not PC or hypocritical (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:37PM EST (#337) |
| PC? No. Hypocritical? Yes. (See discussion of geek girls.) |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:09PM EST (#167) |
| > * Grown breasts are worth waiting for. Err, yes. I think that oversized and silicon breasts are gross, but a women with no breasts? That would be freaky, like looking at a young boy. No thanks. |
| I hope.... (Score:2, Insightful) by elfbabe (dammit_janet@(spammity_spam)tellmeimcute.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:11PM EST (#170) (User Info) http://wcatyclique.webjump.com |
| That I never, ever, ever end up in a relationship with a guy who's been nice to me "in spite of" my looks, my personality, or my intelligence just on the off chance that I'd turn out to be really hot someday. Or one who doesn't want to date geek chicks because they won't be "there for him" when he needs them. Incidentally, how does this apply to geek guys? If one is not supposed to date programming chicks who post on /. because they'll be too busy coding in times of emotional need, wouldn't geek guys be the same? Marissa, one of the many defenders of geek womanhood Another non-functioning site was “uncertainty.microsoft.com.” The purpose of that site was not known. -- MSNBC |
| I think so (Score:2, Insightful) by raistlinne (lansdoct@cs.alfred.edu) on Sunday October 24, @01:47PM EST (#223) (User Info) http://cs.alfred.edu/~lansdoct/ |
| I think that that's a valid conclusion from that part of roblimo's post. Geek girls shouldn't go for near-soulless geek guys, either. There may be some truth to the idea, though. What's needed in a relationship isn't for both people to love the same thing so much as to both like what the other one loves. This way you can have understanding of the other. Both loving the same thing may work out better or worse, I'm not really sure as I've never had a relationship where that happened, but I think that it's pretty obvious that you need to at least like what the other one loves. That being the case, there are a whole lot of other personality traits on has to have in common for a relationship to work as well. Past the basics like being a decent human being, caring, thoughtful, etc., both partners need something of a similar spirit. A similar sense of humor. A similar way of looking at the world. Or maybe compatable is better than similar, though I think that in general it's only similar spirits that are compatible. Now, personality/spirit types seem to be about randomly spread out through the human race. Some football players are caring, others aren't. Some geeks are caring, others aren't. Geekdom like the rest of professions doesn't require a full person, only a few aspects of a person, so the rest can be whatever God wanted them to be, and they'll work out as geeks (same goes for just about every profession, though different ones select on different traits). If that's true, then you'll be more likely to find a caring person in a somewhat different field, as the number of caring people in your field will be n-1 (assuming that you're a caring person and not going to date yourself). The other problem is that for men the ratio of men:women in computers is really off balance. You'll find more geek-type girls in other "intellectual" professions (most of my girlfriends have been really into math, biology, or physics (usually with significant overlap)). That piece of advice may be more gender-specific because if you're a computer-geek guy and the number of computer geek guys is l, then the eligible population of dating partners just in computer geeks is something like l/5 (assuming that you're not homosexual). Those aren't good odds to start out with, so you've got a better chance of success by expanding your pools of possibilities. When you include anything which requires at least reasonable comfort with mathematics or logic, your odds of finding someone compatible are just a lot higher (statistically speaking, actual results may vary). So in conclusion, it all depends (big surprise). If you're a caring partner and need a caring partner, then your odds of finding one may be better or worse if you look in the computing field, but they're almost definitely worse if you limit your search to women in the computing field as there are significantly fewer of them then men (or rather it appears to be so, however someone not announcing their geekiness and someone who isn't a geek is the same thing unless your telepathic). But I think that a lot of this can be simplified quite a bit: 1. Make friends with everyone you like and try to be on good terms with everyone if possible. 2. If in the course of life one of your friends of target gender starts to want more from you, and at the same time you start to want more from them, and equally importantly you want to give more to each other, then great. Sounds fairly reasonable, doesn't it? Linux: Get there. Today. |
| Looks (Score:1) by dfreed (dfreed@REMOVE.apu.edu) on Sunday October 24, @05:10PM EST (#357) (User Info) |
| One thing that always blows me away is that everyone assumes that we all like the same type of person. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I like red haired, green eyed, freckeled, pixie girls. My friend Mike likes Brown haired, brown eyed, pail skined girls. Do we like the same thing? No! My perfect mate would look like an oddball to Mike. And mikes 'type' does not interest me in the least. So what does this mean? It means that if you don't like red head's by all means do not date them. That way they will be availible for those who like red heads and are willing to accept (and value) them as they are. Be discriminating (look that up in the dictionary it means 'to make a carefull choice'.) that way everybody can get what they are looking for. |
| Re:I hope.... (Score:1) by scottj (scottj@insane.com) on Sunday October 24, @10:59PM EST (#508) (User Info) http://insane.com |
| Marissa, You're extremely attractive for a geek chick. I'm proud to have women like you in such a wonderful society! -- Scott Johnson |
| Re:I hope.... (Score:1) by pit_bull (me@home.nl) on Monday October 25, @07:04AM EST (#620) (User Info) http://www.boomm.demon.nl |
| Euh Scott, I think you've slashdotted Marissa's page into oblivion.... (I think We did....) ;-) _ Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.... - |
| Re:I hope.... (Score:1) by elfbabe (dammit_janet@(spammity_spam)tellmeimcute.com) on Monday October 25, @08:28AM EST (#635) (User Info) http://wcatyclique.webjump.com |
| *laughing* I should have KNOWN not to put up a URL to a site that has my picture. You all realize, of course, that by pursuing a geek chick you're violating the first rule... Marissa Another non-functioning site was “uncertainty.microsoft.com.” The purpose of that site was not known. -- MSNBC |
| Re:I hope.... (Score:1) by scottj (scottj@insane.com) on Wednesday October 27, @07:24PM EST (#765) (User Info) http://insane.com |
You all realize, of course, that by pursuing a geek chick you're violating the first ruleWell, that may be a violation of some people's rules, but it's certainly not a violation of mine. I think I'd rather have a geek chick than a non-geek chick. -- Scott Johnson |
| And, utterly without scientific merit (Score:1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:11PM EST (#171) |
| This is admittedly a very important subject, yet there was no effort to discover the key bio-magnetic and bio-electrical differences between men and women. As just one example, the synapses of the female brain are organized in a tetrahedonal shape, those of the male in a cubic shape. Since information is stored in the magnetically curved space between the synapses, and so, relative to the worldly influences around them, a women's brain will tend to operate on a shorter wavelength than a man's, and faster. Look at the skull size as a starting point for the difference. The larger brain size of the male stretches out the synapses, producing a different magnetic organization of the spaces between synapses, and this slows things down for men. This faster shorter capacity of the female structure is a problem too, in that, their brains are picking up a terrible load of annoying useless noise too. A good woman knows she needs the slower, less noise prone, and more concentrated, imbalanced (that is longer horizon perspective) brains of men, to clear the synatpic air for them, magnetically as it were. The male brain needs more time to concentrate, and the natural inclination of this longer slower wavelength is on beyond-the-horizon invisible-type things. But this greater concentration wavelength generates higher impulse, a male power of truly distant focus, than the female brain. On the same side of the coin, it's a damn fool of a man who ignores the utterly superior information gathering ability of his female counterpart, and her natural synaptic structure and its natural informational wavelengths. While she needs you to love her, by which means you magnetically blow away all the useless crap out of her brain structure every now and then, giving her brain a refreshed starting point from which to start, so too the male needs her superior "eyes and ears," sometimes called social inclinations, to collect necessary worldly information for you, while you concentrate on the next horizon, or whatever your project is. Trust me, if you are focused on and can see that distant horizon, she needs you and will support you, not because she is some inferior support system, but because she needs that distant perspective which can only be achieved by the synaptic structure and wonderful timing lags and focus of the male brain. That's just one point of difference, on the synaptic structure and curvature of the synaptic spaces, resulting in different natural operating tendencies of their brains. Are there any other anthropologists from Mars out there. Beep beep beep. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:2, Insightful) by Forward The Light Br (rsinha@glue.umd.edu) on Sunday October 24, @01:23PM EST (#187) (User Info) |
| Aren't you being a little over-harsh here? Do people who are exactly alike in their interests make good love interests; not in general, with some this is good, but not in general (not for the reasons Roblimo stated, but that is ok; you dont need subservience, you need a change. When you finish setting up that 200+ client BSD cluster, etc., last thing you want to come home to is "How do I do X" or "look honey I just set up a 5000 client cluster with an OS I wrote myself, and it took me 15 mintutes" instead you want to pretend computers dont exist for a while) > One way to evaluate a woman is to take off her clothes and makeup. no one way to evaluate women is to ignore their fancy clothes or the lack thereof, and look beyond their makeup. Very slick twisting of Roblimo's words there... > The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. >The proper role for the woman is that of handservant, who considers running your bathwater to be part of a "mutually beneficial" relationship. have you ever been in a relationship? a real one, mind you? I do not mean this as a flame, but your comment does not address the issue. give you an example. If I just got home, and am tired as shit, and I ask my gf to get me a glass of milk SHE WILL. Why is this? A few reasons: there is pure quid-pro-quo; she knows I would do it for her but much more important than that is that this thing called love is involved, and she does it simply because you want it. This does not make her a slave, because if you have ever been in love, men go that far and further in the name of love... and if you want to characterize it as both individuals being slaves to the other DAMN STRAIGHT!!! > Grown breasts are worth waiting for. He was trying to say, if you do not find a given woman attractive, still be nice to her. Ideally you would due to human compassion, but if so you would not need reasons, that comes from inside. Roblimo was giving you the amoral (though valid) reasons to act in a moral manner. >If a woman finds you unattractive, dump her as quickly as possible. No matter how PC and '90s we get, somethings are inherently true, regardless of how distasteful it sounds. Having been in a relationship where I genuinely like the girl, but do not find her attractive, I can tell you it sucks. (I am not a good actor, and I did not want to hurt her) If a woman is in that position she SHOULD dump you, but she may not be able to work up the courage/ not want to hurt you. Both of you would get more hurt if it went on, so the cogent advice is to give her a hand and initiate the breakup... quite frankly my friend, the fact that you got moderated up to 5 scares me, because it means others feel like you. It does not mean that you will hurt others necissarily; you all are much more likely to get hurt. Have a nice day -RS We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars --Oscar Wilde My nick is Forward the Light Brigade, damnit!!! |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:2) by Hobbex (hobbex@fragzone.se) on Sunday October 24, @01:28PM EST (#199) (User Info) |
| I hate to me-too this post, but I couldn't agree more. This article has to be the biggest load of shit I have ever seen on Slashdot, or in any other publication I have respect for. Roblimo may want a wife as a long term prostitute, but hopefully most of us are looking for a real soulmate. I don't want a woman to be "there for me" whenever I want her, I want to be there for her just as much. Obviously the interests don't have to be the same, but I sure as hell want a woman who I feel is my intellectual equal, and that probably means geeky. If anything this article agrees with one of my long time cynisisms: the best way to get women is to be a complete asshole. I think Jon Katz should be proud that Slashdot is around to publish this shit, because it would be censored in just about any real world media. - /. is like a steer's horns, a point here, a point there and a lot of bull in between. para. from Liberty |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by newt on Sunday October 24, @05:33PM EST (#367) (User Info) http://www.freebsd.org/~newton/cv.html |
Roblimo may want a wife as a long term prostitute, but hopefully most of us are looking for a real soulmate. ----- |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by Hobbex (hobbex@fragzone.se) on Sunday October 24, @06:03PM EST (#377) (User Info) |
| Of all things I have been accused of, politically correct hurts most. In retrospect I guess the quoted comment was a little hyperbolic and populistic. I repent. The point is this: the article makes it very clear that what he is primarily looking for in a partner is what it does for him. Whether she will be there for him, have time for him, whatever. I find that disturbing, since (and, like about a lot things, maybe I'm just not disillusioned enough) love should be based on a desire to do things for the other. What they do for you is secondary. If one sees a relationship primarily as a source of affection for oneself (and I realize that a lot of people, men and women, do this) then it IS a lot closer to prostitution than love. - /. is like a steer's horns, a point here, a point there and a lot of bull in between. para. from Liberty |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by newt on Sunday October 24, @06:27PM EST (#390) (User Info) http://www.freebsd.org/~newton/cv.html |
The point is this: the article makes it very clear that what he is primarily looking for in a partner is what it does for him. Whether she will be there for him, have time for him, whatever. I find that disturbing, since (and, like about a lot things, maybe I'm just not disillusioned enough) love should be based on a desire to do things for the other. What they do for you is secondary. If one sees a relationship primarily as a source of affection for oneself (and I realize that a lot of people, men and women, do this) then it IS a lot closer to prostitution than love. ----- |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by Hobbex (hobbex@fragzone.se) on Monday October 25, @05:39AM EST (#612) (User Info) |
| Finally, Rob must have known with reasonable certainty that he'd get flamed royally for daring to speak about some of these things, but he went ahead with it anyway. I respect him for that, and I think there should be more of it: We should be able to be honest in public instead of ducking away from very important truths simply because we know some people with a political axe to grind won't like it. Your original comment about how Katz would be proud a forum like slashdot exists is no doubt true, but I suspect the comments of some of the readers following the article would detract somewhat from the gloss. One of the great losses our society has suffered throughout the 90's is that people have become afraid to talk about what they really think, because there are so many little groups who make a professional point of attacking opinions; My hope for the next decade is that the Internet can help us get back to reality by providing forums for people to be honest about what they think about homosexual Mozambiquian llamas without having to put up with public denigration and hate-crime lawsuits from "The Peoples' Front In Support of Reinforcement of the Sexual Self-Determination of Mozambiquian Llamas". I am a big supporter (as I think I have proved with abundance here on /. ) of being allowed to say things that piss people off. But if you say things publically that piss people off, you have to have thick skin for the reply. Roblimo's public statement that I as a geek should be looking for a woman who is most likely to want to do my bidding is insulting to me. And while he is in his right in insulting me, he will then have to stand for my insulting, equal public, reply that I consider such a relationship nothing more than emotions for sale. obviously it is unfortunate if his wife (who is no-doubt a nice person) should read this and be upset. But he dragged her into this public discussion, not I. - /. is like a steer's horns, a point here, a point there and a lot of bull in between. para. from Liberty |
| Utterly utterly offensive Swedish prissiness (Score:1) by CRConrad (christian.conrad@myEmployer.itsCountry) on Thursday October 28, @01:59AM EST (#769) (User Info) http://www.interbase.com/downloads/summaries/19.html |
| A cheap mail-order outfit from Sweden wrote: "Roblimo's public statement that I as a geek should be looking for a woman who is most likely to want to do my bidding is insulting to me." Only because you're stupidly PC. *Everybody* should be looking for that, not just "you as a geek". OK, not looking for someone "who is most likely to want to do my bidding" as in, "I want a slave" -- but then, only stupidly PC people read Roblimo that way. Read it this way in stead: Given a choice between two otherwise identical women, one of which *would* voluntarily (that's what he said, not "do my bidding") draw you a hot bath when you come home tired, the other wouldn't, what on Earth is better about the latter?!? That she demonstrates a PC sense of "independence" by being an uncaring asshole is *preferable* to you...? "And while he is in his right in insulting me," He wouldn't only be "in his right" in insulting you (if that had beeen what he did, which it wasn't), he'd be *right* in insulting you. Stupidly PC wusses deserve nothing but scorn. "he will then have to stand for my insulting, equal public, reply that I consider such a relationship nothing more than emotions for sale." He *might* have to, if it weren't so obviously a moronic "Good day -- axe handles!" type of response. As it is, no he doesn't. You owe him, and above all his wife, a big fat apology. "obviously it is unfortunate if his wife (who is no-doubt a nice person) should read this and be upset. But he dragged her into this public discussion, not I." Bullshit, asshole. *He* said he loves her and she's a wonderful person; *you* called her a whore. And now you call that *his* fault? How f*cking Swedish can you get? Christian R. Conrad MY opinions, not my employer's - Hedengren, Finland. Country codes are two letters, e-mail addresses lowercase. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:34PM EST (#527) |
| If anything this article agrees with one of my long time cynisisms: the best way to get women is to be a complete asshole. Don't be an asshole, be dominant. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by mellon on Sunday October 24, @01:37PM EST (#213) (User Info) |
> Geek girls are incapable of being loving and considerate, and unloving and inconsiderate geek guys have to avoid that. I think you're right to call Rob on this generalization, but at the same time I think he's right to suggest that the Geek Girl of your Dreams may not exist. There's no need to say that this is only true for inconsiderate geek guys - the fact is that there are more computer geek guys than girls, so if you are only willing to go out with geek girls, you're seriously damaging your odds. I don't see any need to read this statement with the subtext you've given it. > The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. Obviously this is an unattainable standard, and I doubt Rob's SO actually qualifies. However, I think that for a relationship to work, both people need to selflessly serve each other, and since everybody's needs are different, it's entirely possible that you may find someone like this. OTOH, you may be better off trying to meet her halfway. And, again, I think you've read a subtext into Rob's message that he didn't intend. > The proper role for the woman is that of handservant, who considers running your bathwater to be part of a "mutually beneficial" relationship. There is no proper role for a woman or man. The only quality that you could assign to such a role is that the woman or man in question should be happy in it, and the roles we are happy in are all different. And again, this is not the way I read Rob's intentions. > One way to evaluate a woman is to take off her clothes and makeup. Well, but it is, isn't it? You may not think that it's a fair way to evaluate a woman, but it's a way. If the woman of your dreams doesn't enjoy seeing you naked, she's not going to try, and the same is true for you. It's tremendously unfortunate that human beings can't just meet mind-to-mind, but it's true. The good news is that one person's yuck is another's yum. > In bars, the females that are unattainable are called "women" while the ones that you are supposed to go after are called "girls". This is pretty tired, don't you think? > If a woman finds you unattractive, dump her as quickly as possible. As opposed to what? If she doesn't find you attractive, what are you supposed to do, get cosmetic surgery? I think this is good advice. > Grown breasts are worth waiting for. What, they're not? Is it not valid for a guy to find breasts attractive? This is silly, in both senses - it's silly to be down on guys for liking breasts, and it's also silly to wait for them to grow. Further, it's not the point. The point is: be nice to people. Don't assume that because you find someone unattractive now, it's okay to treat them badly. I think this is good advice. > Be nice to geeky looking girls, just in case they grow up and look good. How about, "be nice to everybody, because it feels good, and maybe you'll get some benefit from it as well?" > In spite of all of the above, imperfections are to be overlooked. Given that nobody we know is perfect, I think you have to say that this is true. Either that, or you need to embark on a program of changing your world into a place where there are only perfect people, which is not really what Rob's trying to help you do here. > All women are looking for a man to fill the empty void in their lives. I think Rob pretty clearly didn't say this. He said "some are, and some aren't, and you shouldn't be looking for the ones who aren't, because you won't get anywhere with them." And indeed, women who are looking for you to "fill a void in their lives" are probably going to make you miserable. But there are women who know what they want, include "having a man who pleases me" as one of the things they want, are willing to go out and find such a man, and will be pleased when they do. Why is this a problem? > If you're not having any success, find someone like Roblimo, considers himself an expert at picking up chix and is ready to dispense a handful of advice because he has a pleasant and apparently subservient wife who meets his needs. It seems to me that Rob was giving some advice in a brotherly way that he intended to be of help. While his advice does reflect his own values, with which you apparently don't agree, it was nonetheless well-intentioned, and I think if you read it with that in mind it can also be helpful. So why beat him up about it? I don't get it! |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:30PM EST (#331) |
| I'm with ya. This article was the strangest mixture of objectification, generalization, and treating women as classifiable objects, with some sprinkling of "oh, don't forget she's human!" that I've ever seen. The other thing is that, if geek girls are so awful because they like to spend a lot of time doing certain things, geek guys can't be any better and the right advice would be "perhaps you should become a more balanced human being so that you will be more pleasant to be around", instead of "try to pass yourself off as this great genius composer/artist/inventor dude (which, by all avergaes, you're not) and find yourself a happy doormat who can tell herself she's got a great brilliant catch. They're out there, honest!" |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by Tassleman (dschuetz at ausam dot com) on Sunday October 24, @04:37PM EST (#336) (User Info) |
| Geek girls are incapable of being loving and considerate, and unloving and inconsiderate geek guys have to avoid that. I disagree. Most of the geek girls I know are pretty emotional / loving. The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. Agreed. The proper role for the woman is that of handservant, who considers running your bathwater to be part of a "mutually beneficial" relationship. Agreed. One way to evaluate a woman is to take off her clothes and makeup. One way, but not necessarily the best way. In bars, the females that are unattainable are called "women" while the ones that you are supposed to go after are called "girls". Disagreed. If a woman finds you unattractive, dump her as quickly as possible. If she has a problem with it, yes. If she's ok with it, no. Grown breasts are worth waiting for. Only if you think she has great potential. Be nice to geeky looking girls, just in case they grow up and look good. I would say be nice to any girls that aren't bitches, regardless of physical appearance. In spite of all of the above, imperfections are to be overlooked. Most, but not all. All women are looking for a man to fill the empty void in their lives. Some, but not all. If you're not having any success, find someone like Roblimo, considers himself an expert at picking up chix and is ready to dispense a handful of advice because he has a pleasant and apparently subservient wife who meets his needs. Agreed. I am a little sexist. I'm also a lot sarcastic. "Just because my business distributes software 'Created by Microsoft Certified Engineers', that doesn't make me evil, does it?" |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (trend in objections) (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:17PM EST (#415) |
| I personnally agree with Shepps on this. The story was utterly, utterly offensive. I can only congratulate Shepps on having had the courage to speak up. Obviously, Shepps got a lot of response on his post. What strikes me as exceptionally inane in the way people who disagree with him go about doing so was that they tend to not even understand his post. Shepps wrote something like: """To sum up: Geek girls are incapable of being loving and considerate, and unloving and inconsiderate geek guys have to avoid that. The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. [etc]""" Anybody with a brain can see that these statements are not anything that Shepps believes in, but his summary of what Roblimo had to say, which he labeled as utterly offensive. What Shepps had to say was not "Women are meat" but "Roblimo believes that women are meat" AND "That is offensive." But obviously quite a few posters lack a brain. Someone posts "What racists are saying is: '[MembersOfSomeRace] are stupid.' That is offensive." Someone answering "Well, I agree that those people are stupid" is the kind of dumbness to which I am referring here. The question is not whether or not some people believe that (many do), but whether or not the statement is offensive (it is). And a bunch of Tony detractors believe that quoting each of those sentences one by one and saying "I agree" of "This is only partly true. Not all girls actually [blah]". The question is not whether you fully or partly agree with Roblimo, but whether or not that constitutes viewing women as meat, and whether or not that is offensive. The answers to both, BTW, is "Yes". And the fact that several Slashdot posters believe offensive things about women does not make it any less offensive. VAD |
| Re:Utterly utterly paranoid (Score:2) by Millennium (rbg6038@spamreallyreallysucks.rit.edu) on Sunday October 24, @06:20PM EST (#388) (User Info) |
| Geez; you don't have to be like that. Roblimo didn't mean it that way, I'm sure. I'll admit, I take something of an issue with the "old-fashioned girl" bit. But honestly, must you see everything a man says about a women as wrong? Really, let's look at your points, and see how someone else interpreted these things... Geek girls are incapable of being loving and considerate, and unloving and inconsiderate geek guys have to avoid that. OK, I have to agree on this one. This was rather poorly worded. I won't say this article couldn't have stood another revision or two. The ideal woman is one who selflessly meets your every needs. I assume you're talking about the "old-fashioned girl" thing. I didn't get that read from the passage, though. It looked to me as though Roblimo was saying that geeks need someone who doesn't mind doing this occasionally. There's a corollary behind this: if she does it sometimes, you'll have to do it too. The proper role for the woman is that of handservant, who considers running your bathwater to be part of a "mutually beneficial" relationship. What you describe is, I think, more of an abusive relationship than a mutually beneficial one. The point Roblimo was making was this: At any one time, no given relationship is ever truly equal to both sides. It balances out over time, but at any given moment the man might need more, or the woman might. That's where the phrase "give and take" comes from. This is another thing where Roblimo left out something he should have added: geeks need (actually, anyone needs) a partner who doesn't mind being on the giving end of things sometimes. But said geek had better be prepared to do his fair share of giving sometimes too. In the end, a good relationship will balance out. One way to evaluate a woman is to take off her clothes and makeup. Oh, please. He was trying to rephrase "people aren't always what they seem at first glance." Besides which, I suppose it is one way to evaluate a woman; not a good way by any means but a way nonetheless. In bars, the females that are unattainable are called "women" while the ones that you are supposed to go after are called "girls". Frankly, I find your paranoia more offensive than anything he said in his article. You're talking semantics now. No need for that. If a woman finds you unattractive, dump her as quickly as possible. There are more types of attraction than physical, you know. I think this is what Roblimo was trying to get at. If someone doesn't find you attractive in any way (or, to word it a bit better, isn't sttracted to you at all), then you're both wasting time in a relationship. It seems to me that you're more obsessed with the physical aspects of Roblimo is, as evidenced by the next couple of statements... Grown breasts are worth waiting for. Be nice to geeky looking girls, just in case they grow up and look good. This wasn't even meant to be advice. He was merely giving an anecdote. The unattractive one is teased by all the boys but one. Then, a few years later, she becomes attractive, and everyone wants her but she is only interested in the one who had been kind to her. The moral of the story: don't be mean to anyone, or your decisions could come back to haunt you. In spite of all of the above, imperfections are to be overlooked. Either you're a hypocrite or you had absolutely no clue what you were doing when you wrote this one. It runs quite counter to your argument. You seem to fight the idea of the "ideal woman" and yet you state here that any imperfection should be taken as grounds for avoiding a relationship. I have some news for you: no one is perfect. That's what real love is: you recognize the faults in your partner, but you love him/her anyway. All women are looking for a man to fill the empty void in their lives. Um, where'd you even pick this one up? I've looked over the article several times and I still can't find anything that even remotely suggests that one. He does say at one point that there are a lot of women who are looking for a man; statistically this is probably quite true (over three billion women on the planet, after all; even one percent of that is still 30,000,000, and there's probably more than one percent looking). If you're not having any success, find someone like Roblimo, considers himself an expert at picking up chix and is ready to dispense a handful of advice because he has a pleasant and apparently subservient wife who meets his needs. Look. Roblimo didn't word everything in the article all that well. He's also new; mistakes are to be expected. Heck; I've been reading Slashdot for four years, my Karma is over 60, and I still word things pretty poorly sometimes. No need to jump all over him for one mistake. -Millennium |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by cdlu (canada@spamless.geecs.org) on Sunday October 24, @07:07PM EST (#412) (User Info) http://eddie.cis.uoguelph.ca/~canada |
| Moderation Totals:Flamebait=3, Insightful=5, Interesting=2, Funny=1, Overrated=2, Total=13. we're not controversial(sp?) now are we? :) [3] + Stopped /root/slashdot |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by Watcher on Sunday October 24, @10:17PM EST (#489) (User Info) |
| > Geek girls are incapable of being loving and considerate, and unloving and inconsiderate geek guys have to avoid that. I don't think that is the point Roblimo is trying to make. THe point is, do we really want to date someone just like ourselves? What is there to share, aside from coding tips and geek info? I've tried it, and they don't work out too well. One of the greatest things about dating someone who has different interests than yourself (and I don't mean a guy from IS and a girl from software development) is sharing that. One of the greatest things about a relationship, in my opinion, is learning from a girlfriend things I wouldn't have learnt otherwise, discussing our views on the world (I've gotten a bit philosophical because of it, and examined the world in ways I never would have before), and teaching her things she didn't know before. A relationship dies the day you stop sharing like that. |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by Stiggy (kirk@nospam.exotype.com) on Monday October 25, @03:24AM EST (#587) (User Info) http://www.exotype.com/ |
| While I agree with you I found Rob's mating advice more humorous than offensive. Or perhaps a little of both. If you want to know what women want the worst thing you can do is ask another guy. At best he'll only be able to relate his own experiences. At worst he'll drudge up a bunch of generalizations and stereotypes. Women are all different. Everyone of them. If you want to know what women want get to know one. Find out the particulars. And then think for yourself. -Kirk E X O T Y P E |
| Re:Utterly utterly offensive (Score:1) by colnago (colnago@cinternet.net) on Monday October 25, @08:49AM EST (#645) (User Info) |
| Perhaps it's offensive, but I got mine and she's worth a million. Maybe you just don't got yours and you're resentful. Maybe it's your problem. We all laugh at Dave Barry (and if you don't you've been at your crt too long), and this is nothing but the same. - Colnago It is now safe to switch off your computer |
| Completely, totally, utterly realistic. (Score:2) by Amphigory (patrick at extremehope dot organization) on Monday October 25, @09:06AM EST (#651) (User Info) http://www.extremehope.org |
| I have now been married for four years. This is my first and, barring the tragedy of an untimely death, will be my only marriage. This statement has to do with some rather strong religious beliefs I have: even if my wife divorced me, I would not remarry. And she feels the same way. So, we have to make our marriage work. And work it does. Why does it work? Because both my wife and myself are willing to put aside our egos in pursuit of happiness. Your post reeks of the self-aggrandizement that our society has used to replace humility. A real marriage that is going to have any future has to include mutual sacrifice. And yes, there have been occasions where that has included my wife acting as my servant. But there's a flip side to that. I have an obligation to care for my wife, no matter what. That obligation includes dieing for her if the issue came up. It includes working hard a long way from home four days a week so that she doesn't have to work and one of us can stay home with our son. Why her? Because I have job skills that let me make more money, plus I really suck at breast-feeding. (On an aside: my son is now coming up on two and has only been sick -- including colds and ear infections -- when he was teething. Compare that to a formula-fed baby sometime). I have done some, limited, marital counseling. And I can tell you that the only way that a marriage will work in the long term is if both partners give up their ego's and petty desires and pursue the much more lasting joy that can be found in marriage and family. Most problems in marriage come when one partner decides that "just this once" they will place their immediate wants ahead of the needs of their marriage and family. They gave up that right when they said "Love, honor, and cherish till death do us part". Anything less than total love and total sacrifice as though your spouse is yourself is not marriage, but masturbation. This will be contentious, but I have to say that I am so sick of our culture acting as though everyone has some kind of right to pursue their immediate wants. Often, you have to give up your immediate wants to get what you need -- and you will find greater joy in getting what you really need than the shallow "self-esteem" that our culture glorifies. It's called being an adult. I'm rambling... Later. |
| I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:5, Insightful) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:48AM EST (#36) (User Info) |
| Okay, much of the advice is good. Be straightforward. Don't try to be something you're not. Don't be a jerk, even if you're interacting with a dork. Be careful about looking for (a) a mirror image of yourself or (2) the Human Barbie or (iii) trying to make her into something she's not, i.e., changing her instead of appreciating how she is. But I have problems when "Uncle Robin" excludes entire female populations from consideration. When he says, no geek girls, and don't think too much about the really pretty ones either, isn't he going against the whole idea of considering people on their own merits, as opposed to group affiliation? Granted, "pretty" girls who spend a lot of time on their outsides sometimes, maybe often, have rotten insides. But how is it that a geek girl "competes" in an unhealthful way? Don't you want someone who can UNDERSTAND when you're talking about a problem at the office/boxen/latest Linux convention? Or would you rather have a very nice girl, who is clueless when it comes to what you DO 80 hours a week, fix you some cookies and run a nice hot bath? I mean, come ON. I'm a (pseudo)geek girl. I have a geek man. We get along famously. If anything, I'm MORE accepting of his computer obssession because I share some of it. A woman who doesn't Get It may not Get You. Just, all I'm saying is, don't just banish us from consideration with a flick of the finger because we're too much like you, or might compete for...for what?
|
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by InsomniacsDream on Sunday October 24, @12:14PM EST (#85) (User Info) http://cml.grc.nasa.gov/~chuck |
| I prefer "fix some cookies and run a hot bath" myself ;) I don't think he was excluding the group of "geek girls", just that USUALLY a "geek girl" might not be a good match for a "geek boy". In my case that is definitely true. That's not to say there aren't exceptions (like in your case), just statistically speaking. Maybe a "geek girl" would be good for a "suit(ironed t-shirt)-guy". Of course, it does always come down to each person's individuality. The last thing my wife wants to talk about with me is computers, but I find that refreshing. When I'm brain-fried, I love to get my mind off my normal work and think about dumb things. I suppose there are people who never get brain-fried, but I'm not one of them. OK, excuse me while I dumb-down a little so I can blend back into the mortal world (I have to wrap some presents for my niece's b-day party). There's no show like Jerry Springer ... there's no show like Jerry Springer. Kansas, here I come! Cheers. ----------------------------------------- You're getting sleepy ... very sleepy ... |
| Utopia... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:16PM EST (#88) |
| I wish I knew someone like you (: |
| Also a geek girl, and agreeing w/ you (Score:1) by anneke (anneke_AT_anneke.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:30PM EST (#102) (User Info) http://www.anneke.net |
| I'm in total agreement with Sumana: sure, I'm offended that he thinks geek girls aren't worth pursuing. Roblimo grants that geek guys have moments when they 'want some loving' when they /aren't/ staring at their monitors. How come geek /girls/ can't want cuddle-time when they're away from their monitors as well? Secondly, it's a heck of a lot nicer when your significant other understands why the heck you're so interested in computers n' stuff. It doesn't have to be the only thing you discuss (Roblimo was right there) but there's something to be said for having like passions. And i'm not talking sex here. Other than that, his advice is pretty good. Pay attention to what she *says,* her body language...look her in the eye. Sure, body is nice, but it's not everything. Pay her honest compliments... and maybe you'll find someone to share serious time with, more than/instead of some empty "let's get laid" thing, which is probably only a temporary fix anyway. Best of luck to the nice, sweet, i-do-more-than-talk-about-my-computers geek guys out there. Be yourself. If you fake who you are, you'll be unhappy with what you end up with anyway. --Anneke "Real Women Use Linux" |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:4, Funny) by starling on Sunday October 24, @12:32PM EST (#110) (User Info) |
| > compete for...for what? Cycles, bandwidth, disk space... important stuff like that. Hmm. *ponder* Going out with a geek girl as an excuse to upgrade the home network. Definite possibilities there 8-) -- starling |
| moderate this bitch up! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:35PM EST (#208) |
| dewd, that was damn funny...come on |
| Works here. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:59PM EST (#281) |
| My semi-geek girlfriend always gets the latest and greatest.. (Dual PIII 500 right now) and I get the spare cycles. :) |
| Don't take ``Roblammo'' so seriously.. (Score:4, Flamebait) by Kitsune Sushi (kitsune@darkink.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:35PM EST (#118) (User Info) http://www.darkink.com/~kitsune/ |
I would like to take this oppurtunity to invite all of you to take one more look at the topic this was posted under.. What's that? It's.. humor..? That's right everyone! I'll agree, however, that if you take this article dead seriously, it's highly offensive. However, I don't think you should. ~ Kish If you have something intelligent to say, you'll log in or get moderated up so I can read it. Otherwise, you're wasting your time. |
| good point... (Score:1) by bla (et.cetera@sympatico.ca) on Sunday October 24, @01:56PM EST (#231) (User Info) |
| indeed it is posted under "humor." whaddya know? and here i thought he was serious. i think roblimo and the rest of the /. operators should've looked at this more carefully. yes, it is posted under humor, but many people are not taking it as such (obviously). and i think they should have expected that. to post something that, truthfully, is this offensive on /. is asking for trouble. some people will take this advice to heart. as a woman, i find it offensive, yet i can see the humor in it. as a woman and a regular /. reader, i find it dangerous. i expect more from people who tout moderation of posts. |
| Why, thank you.. (Score:1) by Kitsune Sushi (kitsune@darkink.com) on Sunday October 24, @02:19PM EST (#249) (User Info) http://www.darkink.com/~kitsune/ |
..though I'll admit that you're probably right that it should have been made a little more obvious by ``Roblammo'' over there, and there really is no substitute for good sense (that is, don't substitute sound thought and judgement with vacuous shots in the dark by so-called ``experts''). I can't really say how I feel about what I'd expect from people who tout moderation of posts, because I, for one, am a prime target for faulty moderation (and thus, I have mixed feelings, myself), along with everyone else who has broken the 60-70 point barrier. =P ~ Kish If you have something intelligent to say, you'll log in or get moderated up so I can read it. Otherwise, you're wasting your time. |
| Re:good point... (Score:3, Informative) by roblimo (roblimo.nojunk@slashdot.org) on Sunday October 24, @03:13PM EST (#288) (User Info) http://andovernews.com/bio_miller.html |
| Yep. The number of people taking my little light-hearted bit seriously *is* frightening, isn't it? I ran it by my wife before posting it. She found it funny, and I trust her judgement on such things more than I trust my own. Debbie (my wife) is not a clueless bimbo ; she's a talented artist and an adept computer user. She's also a former Baltimore police officer who enjoys playing with guns. I wrote exclusively about what a (geek) man might want from a woman. One of the women reading this might want to write a similar piece from her point of view. (E-mail me first to make sure it doesn't get lost in the submissions bin, okay?) But that's enough /. contention for one day. I think I'll take Debbie out for an early supper at her favorite dress-up restaurant as soon as I finish washing the breakfast dishes. She deserves it. And besides, I love her and enjoy making her happy. - Robin |
| So... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:58PM EST (#374) |
| ... how large are her breasts then? |
| top 10 dangerous ideas (Score:3, Insightful) by chialea (chialea@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @10:07PM EST (#485) (User Info) http://169.229.85.118/ |
| while I believe you meant it lightly, I'll join the crowd of people who are calling it dangerous. while you are older than many of us who are making our way out into higher education/the workplace, I don't think this excuses your frankly outdated views. yes, it's nice to be taken care of, and to take care of someone in return. however, your lighthearted advice doesn't quite conceal a few (probably subliminal) biases in your mind. I'm not trying to flame you, but in the interests of the women out there, you might want to take a look at what I have to say. I'm very interested in your response, so please email or post back. 1. "don't waste your time on geek girls" this holds two rather interesting assumptions - a) everyone who's reading this is either a) a heterosexual male or b) a homosexual female. as neither, I found the title quite striking. am I really a waste of time? my s.o. doesn't seem to think so, oddly enough. 2. "wouldn't it be nice if you found a woman who shares your interests? NO." well, as you said in the post I'm responding to, you say your wife is a "talented artist and an adept computer user". apparenly she at least understands what you do, assuming that that's computers. one could also suppose that, forming a balanced, healthy relationship, you also share some interests of hers, perhaps in guns or art. while doing things outside of your normal sphere is healthy and interesting, see how long you can spend with a person who shares no interests with you. at least for me, that's not very long. 3. "She'd be obsessively coding or posting on Slashdot herself, and would brush you off when you needed her. What you really want is a woman who will be there for you when you get tired of staring at your monitor and need some loving, but will leave you alone and not demand your attention when you're busy." rather one-sided, is it not? you reserve the right to interrupt her at any time, but you don't want her to do the same in return? I admit that this can be a problem in a geek-geek relationship, but I've seen it be even more of a problem in a geek-nongeek relationship. at least a geek understands when you're REALLY busy, and will keep you from working ALL the time, but allow you to get what is truly important done. it simply requires understanding. 4. "Men involved in activities that demand long periods of intense concentration (programmers, artists, writers, musicians, etc.) need women who will respect what they do and help them do it well, not women who compete with them." so I am competition? for what? perhaps if a person is obsessed with being THE best at whatever she/he does, they would have a problem having a relationship with someone who also shared those interests. perhaps it is that person who has a problem, and not the geek commmunity at large. this is not a view I would expect in the nineties, but rather in the fifties. it harks back to the fear that boys have of meeting a girl who is better/smarter/tougher than they are, because they expect to be better/smarter/tougher by virtue of their sex. I, at least, look for a mate I respect highly, and if their proficiency is in my field, that is not a detractor. 5. "There are plenty of these women out there. They're as eager to find you as you are to find them." the WWN would suggest otherwise :) 6. "instead of wasting your time on women with whom you cannot possibly build a long-term, mutually beneficial relationship" who do you mean? the geek girls? I'd hope we are not to be dismissed from consideration so lightly. 7. "If I want to discuss PC hardware I do it with male friends, not with my wife." I'd hate to assUme, but perhaps you have not had any sort of a relationship with a geek girl, including any sort of friendship. we may be "one of the guys" in some ways, but since we are certainly not male, I assume you're not referring to one of us. perhaps you will someday. we're not all bad. :) 8. "she'll let you know that, too (so you can dump her before you get too serious)" if she finds you unattractive, she'll dump you, generally. no need for Macho Man to do it for her, so I would avoid jumping to conclusions. 9. "She took longer than most to develop in the chest department, but the results were worth waiting for." as much as guys seem to be obsessed by breasts, I can't bring myself to believe you meant this as you phrased it. I don't agree with the general sentiment either, but you have a right to your opinion. 10. "Understanding women is harder than figuring out the hardest computer game, harder even than setting up a secure 200-client network running *BSD" same goes for guys, you know. now, many of your "life/relationship wisdom" nuggets are good ones, but quite a bit of the overtone is outdated and frankly a bit sexist. I'm not trying to insult you, that's just the way it looks to me, a geek girl of a younger generation. perhaps I've misinterpreted you, but that's neither here nor there. I really do hope someone writes that woman piece, or even a balancing male piece, since many guys I know don't share many of your views (and brought this article to my attention becasue they were quite PO'd on my behalf). Lea (real email: chialea@cory.eecs.berkeley.edu) |
| Re:top 10 dangerous ideas (Score:2) by Rabbins (robbins@rickjames.IEATSPAM.sapien.net) on Monday October 25, @08:50AM EST (#646) (User Info) http://k-swimming.org |
| now, many of your "life/relationship wisdom" nuggets are good ones, but quite a bit of the overtone is outdated and frankly a bit sexist. I think people need to lighten up. A good dose of sexism is fun and healthy... as long as it is taken somewhat lightly. Sure, I am sexist, I admit it. I think there are inherent differences between how men and women behave and react to certain situations. Those differences can be funny, and there is no reason to pretend they do not exist. I also feel a need to, and enjoy "protecting" the women I date. I still believe in "ladies first", and when walking arm in arm, the man should walk on the street side. I will open doors and shiver in the cold after giving away my jacket. Maybe it potrays a sense of fragility that is not present for woman, but I enjoy doing these things... call me a caveman. I like bitching about women and their ways, and I enjoy hearing others bitch about men and their ways. I like going out with the "guys" on occasion... and then being made fun of for the stupid things we do. I also enjoy making fun of her when she goes out with the "gals", and the stupid things they do. Sexism is fine... as long as there is mutual respect. *I am the bully who made gradeschool a living hell for you and all your geek friends... and now I've found you! |
| "sexism is fine"? (Score:1) by MissionControl on Monday October 25, @12:30PM EST (#689) (User Info) http://www.personal.psu.edu/keb189 |
| Sexism is defined by WWWebster's as "1 : prejudice or discrimination based on sex; especially : discrimination against women 2 : behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex". By definition, sexism precludes mutual respect. |
| To those who are going to object to this: (Score:3, Insightful) by fable2112 (fable@servtech.spam-me-not.com) on Monday October 25, @10:55AM EST (#665) (User Info) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/7723/ |
| People objected loud and clear (and rightly so!) to the "geek profiling" that occured post-Columbine. People ALSO objected to the stereotyping of "jocks" and other athletes.
|
| Re:good point... (Score:1) by Mike Micelli on Monday October 25, @06:25AM EST (#617) (User Info) |
| Hey Robin, I thought this post was pretty good. These are exactly the thoughts that went through my head when I selected my wife. Just want you to know that not everyone of us is so sensitive as to take your story WAY out of context. BTW, my wife enjoyed your article, too. She unsderstood what you MEANT! :) Peace |
| Re:Don't take ``Roblammo'' so seriously.. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:13PM EST (#316) |
| While the article might not have been entirely serious, there are some perfectly valid points in there. This just doesn't fit under any other category, so it was put into "humor." Considering the frequency of articles dealing with this in the past few days, /. should have a "Females" section. |
| Re:Don't take ``Roblammo'' so seriously.. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:38PM EST (#369) |
| the article seemed to be addressing some issues in a rather serious manner. I hadn't noticed it was in humor, but even though it is, I still have some doubts. either it's very tounge in cheek, or it's honest advice, or maybe some parts are tounge in cheek and some parts are meant to be honest advice. either way, i hope rob is more explicit next time he jokes around like this, -Ram |
| Drue Miller, geek girl extraordinary (Score:1) by EdlinUser (jamesmcinis@nospam.ipa.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:38PM EST (#122) (User Info) http://www.ipa.net/~jamesmcinis |
| wrote this: http://www.drue.com/writings/geekgirl.html Philippe Kahn: We've missed you. Come join us on the GNU frontier. |
| Re:Drue Miller, geek girl extraordinary (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:09PM EST (#312) |
| Isn't a Drue one of those large creatures that are likely to devour Adventurers who are lost in darkness? -Chris |
| Re:Drue Miller, geek girl extraordinary (Score:1) by coreybrenner (coreybrenner@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @04:58PM EST (#350) (User Info) |
| I think that was a "Groo". --Corey |
| Things to eat when it's dark... (FYI) (Score:1) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Sunday October 24, @07:14PM EST (#414) (User Info) |
| It's "grue." Check the Jargon File entry: "[from archaic English verb for `shudder', as with fear]" ..."The grue was originated in the game Zork (Dave Lebling took the name from Jack Vance's "Dying Earth" fantasies) and used in several other Infocom games as a hint that you should perhaps look for a lamp, torch or some type of light source. Wandering into a dark area would cause the game to prompt you, "It is very dark. If you continue you are likely to be eaten by a grue." If you failed to locate a light source within the next couple of moves this would indeed be the case. ..." |
| I could be wrong but maybe you mean a drow? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @09:45AM EST (#653) |
| drow = A dark elf. |
| Probably not... (Score:1) by Mr. Hankey (nohormel-barrows@bridgemicro.com) on Tuesday October 26, @04:38AM EST (#730) (User Info) |
| Nope, different universe, different "monster"... Drow are dark skinned elves who serve Lolth and turn into spider-beasts if they flunk a test. The grue is a large beast which lives its life in dark areas waiting for lamps to run out. Anyone out there remember the Wishbringer book (based on the Infocom game I believe, or was it the other way around...) and Mary Sue Grue? :-) I wonder what her view on this entire debacle would be, heh... |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:3, Insightful) by Jerf on Sunday October 24, @12:47PM EST (#133) (User Info) http://www.jerf.org |
| I don't think that Roblimo was trying to dismiss entire populations with a wave of his hand, but I do understand why a few women have posted comments being upset at him about the perception that he is doing so. This was basically guy talk here, so don't read too much into it :-) The problem he is trying to address is that so many guys/men only look for geek women, only look for Beautific Babes, or, worse yet, only look for Beautific Geek Babes (wow... talk about long odds; I go to a fricken' huge university and there aren't more then one or two Beautific Geek Babes around here!), that they overlook the other 90% of the population. Constraining yourself to 10% of the population from the get go, and shrinking it from there to "decent girls" (and Roblimo's right to the extent that Beautific Babes have a negative correlation with a good personality, which makes things even worse), is not a good way to suceed in this scenario, and as a resul guys retreat into fantasy land of what things will be like Real Soon Now instead of taking the opportunities presenting themselves Right Now. If Roblimo was going to write something that would offend nobody, it would be at least twice as long and therefore twice as likely not to be read. (OK, OK, that's glib, but it's at least generally true.) He made some generalizations in the process of trying to quickly debunk other people's generalizations; to make them think about their own preconcieved notions by presenting them with other ideas. It's a Good Thing; I'm suspect Roblimo would be the last to claim that this was The Final Word on this topic. The reader is expected to take the opportunity to, ummmm, I don't know what verb to put here, take? a Babe or Geek if the opportunity presents, but to look beyond that anyhow. (Me? I'm extremely happily engaged to a zoologist, who has a basic understanding of computing but still has no idea why I get paid what I do for being a good webmaster. If I'd stuck to local geek girls, I'd have never gotten anywhere. More people need to realize that this may be true for them too. It's not necessarily true for everybody, but it is for some.) |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by Freehold on Sunday October 24, @01:37PM EST (#212) (User Info) |
| I think perhaps it depends on your definition of geek. Personally, I define it as "Someone who values intelligence above all physical qualities." So, basically, smart people. Am I being too broad? |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by J. J. Ramsey on Sunday October 24, @02:02PM EST (#234) (User Info) |
| "I think perhaps it depends on your definition of geek. Personally, I define it as "Someone who values intelligence above all physical qualities." "So, basically, smart people. Am I being too broad?" I'd say so. A geek also has a tendency to not quite fit in socially. That doesn't mean that geeks can't be social at all, but that it's not as natural for them or that it doesn't come as easily, especially if one is talking about being social with normal people, as opposed to those about on one's own wavelength. ----I am a fool for Christ. Mostly I am a fool.---- |
| Cause and Effect (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:41PM EST (#264) |
| IMO, a "geek" would not fit in /because/ they value inteligence above all physical qualities. This is especially true in adolescent environments where physical qualities are obviously valued above all other things - like High School. |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by Freehold on Sunday October 24, @05:41PM EST (#371) (User Info) |
| Hmmmm... Yeah, I'd have to agree with you. I guess my problem was with assuming Geek meant Computer Geek. I find that the term aplies to lots of different professions (hobbies too, I suppose). |
| fable2112's Token Rant(tm) (Score:1) by fable2112 (fable@servtech.spam-me-not.com) on Wednesday October 27, @08:13PM EST (#766) (User Info) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/7723/ |
| Nerd != computer nerd. Geek != programmer, necessarily.
|
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:3, Insightful) by Lexi_the_linux_girl (punkrockgirl@startrekmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:36PM EST (#209) (User Info) http://ume.med.ucalgary.ca/~alexandr |
| If a geek girl ands geek boy have divergent interests in the realm of geekdom, it can also make things less competetive. Like a hardware and a software geek or perhaps a sysadmin and a programmer. You can't have too much in common as to lead to competetiveness or boredom, but a common interest in a realm - but different aspects can be quite interesting. Take it from me - that is what I have, and it rules. How about advice for the lovelorn geekettes? The single geekettes may like some advice too on how to find that man who doesn't mind thier passion for source code. I would have to say the best advice I can give from my experience is find a man who does not need to be cared for or mothered in any way. Find a man who considered it a treat if you bake cookies - although you would have rather translated the recipie into perl for humor sake. A man who needs to be cared for, and needs his dinner cooked for him or he will forget to eat, with not appreciate the time you spend programming. Find a man who lives alone, without roomates. Never takes his laundry home to his mom, infact preferable lives in a different city than his mom. Mama's boys are looking for a girl who will take care of him just like mom did except with the extra of sex. Don't go for the best looking man on the block unless all you want is a superficial cheating ego-maniac. Trophy boyfriends are for women like Melanie Griffith and Cher. They are just a waste of time. What women wants a man who takes more time getting ready to go out than she does. If a man is dressed to well, either his mama dressed him or his girlfriend does. Also, if you are more of a programmer, do not date a fellow programmer. He WILL compete with you. Men are threatened by the possibility of anyone, man or women being better than they are. Any illusions of working on a program together are shattered the first time that either of you finds a flaw in the other's source code. A programming girl needs a man who can cook his own annd even her dinner occasionally. Although two programmers may be able to afford fast food and takeout frequently, it is not the best solution.A man who has lived alone should be able to cook at least a few staples. Meeting a man like this, an independent man, may seem like an impossible task. Here is a couple tips on how and where to find him. First of all he won't be at the bar. There are only two types at the bar, the vain ones who are looking for a one night stand, and the mama's boys who are too shy to talk to a girl. Let friendship be your guide, male and female friends are always willing to set up single friends. Become friends first, then later lovers. Men are more relaxed than women with making the transition from friends to lovers. You rarely hear from men the statement "You are such a good friend, I wouldn't want to ruin it by sleeping with you." Men want to sleep with almost all of thier female friends. And teenage geekettes, don't worry, your self confindence with bloom, as will you body. I was flat as a board until I was 19. I look great now. The biggest advice I can give to a girl is if you don't have self confidence, fake it! If you saren't having fun, fake it! Self-selfconfident men are attracted to self-confident women. And you don't want a mama's boy. -- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..." - Isaac Asimov |
| Good Lord - and you were being serious..... (Score:1) by threeJane[ltk] (3jane@SPAMMYlotek.org) on Sunday October 24, @02:13PM EST (#244) (User Info) http://www.d6ga.com |
As a counterexample, So there :) I don't mean to sound reactionary (I'm sure I do), but this post is riddled with the same preconceptions and forceful empiricisim that it is ment to counteract. Thank you, (yes, I am male) |
| Re:...you were being serious? Not At All! (Score:2, Informative) by Lexi_the_linux_girl (punkrockgirl@startrekmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @02:58PM EST (#280) (User Info) http://ume.med.ucalgary.ca/~alexandr |
| Parody using generalizations, yet putting a few valid points in doesn't always come off perfect. Sorry if I offended you, Roblimo's post had the same sort of generalisations - yet made some valid points. Rob's valid points were to be yoursdelf, and not to set standards too high or you may be overlooking a perfect girl for you simply because she does not look like the girl of your dreams. My point was to the girls, that you can not sacrifice your own independence for a man, and that there are some men out there, perhaps Rob included who need a woman to care not just about them, but for them. These men are what I was refering to as Mama's Boys. Also the point about a bar as a meeting place, the bar can be a fine place to dance, and even have a relaxing drink - but it is not a place to meet a lover or a partner. You want to meet a person when you are of clear mind to genuinely assess thier character. And with regards to the statement about men all wanting to sleep with thier female friends - that was obvious in its lack of sincerity. Friends make the best lovers - and best mates. There is a trust there. What that waas is a parody of the "you are such a good friend ..." syndrome some of the men I know have endured. I have met less females than men who have went through the experience of developing a crush on a friend and not having it recipocated. The last couple lines should have made the parody of the whole thing more clear, but still there was a point there. If you feel you are lacking in self-confidence and you decide to play the part, self-confidence often follows. Same with when you are out with friends, if you are having an awfully dull time, act like you are having fun, and soon enough, you will be. It is a simple little axiom, but we reap what we sow, if you want a fun loving, self-confident partner, you are more likely to find that partner if you are fun-loving and self-confident. Who you are attracts a certain type of partner. I am sure a man like you will have no trouble atracting a woman who likes a creative, secure man. After all, you must have confidence to admit being a mama's boy!! - Just kidding. -- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..." - Isaac Asimov |
| Aaaah, thanks (Score:1) by threeJane[ltk] (3jane@SPAMMYlotek.org) on Sunday October 24, @03:53PM EST (#303) (User Info) http://www.d6ga.com |
| Hehe, all said, I missed the forest for the trees My eye for delicate parody can sometimes only reach as far as my own humor:) Cheers, .3jane[ltk] |
| Satire or not, it has some good points (Score:2) by fable2112 (fable@servtech.spam-me-not.com) on Wednesday October 27, @08:24PM EST (#767) (User Info) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/7723/ |
| There is a certain group of guys my approximate age (I'm 22; the guys are between 19 and 23) that I have nicknamed the Lost Boys. They either live at home or JUST moved out on their own, have dropped out or flunked out of college, and are generally speaking working McJobs (or not working at all). They've got all kinds of fancy technology-related toys, and they either expect Mommy to cook for them or they live on ramen noodles and Mountain Dew or spend way too much money at TGI Friday's. And they annoy the hell out of me (especially since two of 'em just moved in across the street -- did I mention neither has a car, one has no license, and my boyfriend and I keep getting calls to drive them around?)
|
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by Kesh on Sunday October 24, @02:16PM EST (#246) (User Info) |
| I think part of it can be compared to a couple who are both doctors. If one comes home, and the spouse asks "How was your day?", would you really want them telling you they would've done a different procedure, or made a different diagnosis? Don't get me wrong... sometimes it's great to have someone who does understand your work/hobby. Other times though, it just leads to friction and problems. I suppose it depends on the individual. So I agree with you, don't exclude all geeks from your dating, but it's something to be a little wary of until you find out how it's going to work. |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by coreybrenner (coreybrenner@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @05:05PM EST (#354) (User Info) |
| You gotta feel for the wife of a gynecologist, especially one in need of a little nookie. "I swear, if I see one more of those..." --Corey |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by treat on Monday October 25, @12:01AM EST (#541) (User Info) |
| I think part of it can be compared to a couple who are both doctors. If one comes home, and the spouse asks "How was your day?", would you really want them telling you they would've done a different procedure, or made a different diagnosis? Rather than just agreeing with me because they don't understand what I'm talking about? Or pretending to listen because they don't even care? Or me having to make up something to talk about that they will care about? I rarely can talk about my day at work with a non-geek girl. Even when it's something simple, it would take too much explaining, and they won't appreciate it. I like to talk to people, and I don't like repeating conversations. When you've both run out of stories from your life, all that's left is new ones from day to day. It helps to share enough interests that you can continue having good conversations. |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:2, Interesting) by redspice on Sunday October 24, @02:32PM EST (#258) (User Info) |
| I have to agree with her. I'm a geekgirl also, and personally, I'd rather have someone just like me, instead of someone completely the opposite. I'd want to have a guy that actually new what I was talking about and is into computers. Now, that doesn't mean they have to be someone where computers are their life, but at least they have interest in them and don't mind when I talk about computers all the time, especially since that's what I do for my job (sys admin). I don't feel like it would be a competition at all, why would it be? In fact I think it would be fun to set up a home network together with a significant other, it's not like we'd be competing for a computer. (I mean I have about 4 of them anyway right now.) But, I do have to say that most of everything that "Uncle Robin" I would agree with though. A lot of that is good advice. Some main rules: DON'T USE PICKUP LINES (there's nothing we hate more), just be yourself (we think its cute if your nervous :)), dont' be the smooth talker, again, just be yourself, don't be afraid to confront us (you don't know how many times people have told me that they have no idea why I've been single so long, but its because no one confronts me), if have you to break up with her, DO IT IN PERSON, don't wimp out and do it on the phone, or online, that's the worst thing you could do. I've dated a geek guy before, and I think it would worked out fine. Just because we are geeks to doesn't mean we don't like to hug or fool around less than other girls, in fact I think we like to do that stuff even more than non-geek girls! We do other things besides computers all day. I like to think of myself as a well-rounded individual thats a jack of all trades, but master of none. Overall, just be yourself, there's nothing better you can do than that! |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:2, Informative) by Macka on Sunday October 24, @03:04PM EST (#283) (User Info) |
| I have a friend, now a mother of two, who was a Police Woman when I first met her. Despite dating anything but Police Men, when she eventualy decided to settle that's exactly what she picked. When I asked her why she replied: Being a Police Man/Woman has its own unique kind of pressures and problems. Who better to understand and support me when I come home after a bad day (had a murder or similar). Someone in another profession just wouldn't be able to relate in the same way. My present partner isn't a techie, or a geek. She's a sales manager for a software company. But being in the same industry she understands the long hours (puts them in herself) and the type of job I do. I've had previous partners from totally different walks of life that didn't understand my job, or the amount of time I spend on Linux and resented it. So I think there's something to be said for someone who perhaps shares ones interests or at least can relate to it in some way. Macka |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by lange on Sunday October 24, @10:17PM EST (#490) (User Info) http://ir.chem.cmu.edu/lange/ |
| In some ways, I'd tend to agree. And indeed, my girlfriend is a techie. Ironically however, it wasn't until dating me that she became a techie and is now pursuing a career in Information Systems. I guess in hindsight then, I followed Uncle Robin's advice, but she turned into a geek anyway! :) Sorta makes you wonder... |
| Geek convert (Score:1) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Monday October 25, @11:58AM EST (#685) (User Info) |
| I wasn't ultra-geeky till I got to Berkeley and met my SO. Heck, never heard of Linux, etc. So yeah, interests blend, etc.
|
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:14PM EST (#317) |
| Maybe it would be better for some of us to have non-geek girlfriends because deep inside, we wish to escape computers somewhat. Having a non-geek GF would probably be healthy because it will help expose us to other things in life, rather than reinforce our narrow realm of experiences. |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by alhaz (alhaz@we.areb.org) on Sunday October 24, @06:02PM EST (#376) (User Info) http://we.areb.org |
| What's unfortunate tho, is that a lot of engineering types really /do/ go for June Lockheart rather than any other type of girl. Personally, I'd probably get bored married to the female version of myself. One of the reasons to have someone else around is to share a complementary perspective on life. On the other hand, if i was married to someone who was completely apathetic to all aspects of technology, I would probably go completely nuts obsessing over the fear that my wife is smiling and nodding entirely for my own benefit, and dying of boredom on the inside. The vast majority of people in the world don't work in highly technical fields. An auto assembly line worker marrying another auto assembly line worker isn't so much an issue as it would be if the profession was more involved. There really isn't that much to the job, so the major interests are more than likely well outside of their field of employment. But in studied careers, be they technology related, literary, artistic, legal, whathaveyou, there is the possibility of a feeling of competition between two people who are otherwise partners. I've seen this in action, and it's not a pretty sight. I would by no means rule out girls who are just as big a geek as i am. Nor would i rule out girls who's interests are elsewhere. And i say "girl" meaning "female who is significantly younger than my mother". So, yeah, I'd have to agree that it's bad advice, but "Uncle Robin" is just trying to chop up a larger personality issue into smaller pieces so that it's easier to handle. Or maybe he just sees that there are millions of geek guys longing after the hundreds of thousands of geek girls when their ideal mate may or may not be one of them. Sometimes you can exclude entire groups. I don't think I'll be marrying any racists or smokers. I've kissed a girl who smokes camels, and man, tho i love the girl and liked her a whole lot at the time, sheesh, yuck. Kissing my dirty socks would taste better. We parted for unrelated reasons, but when you start talking about "forever", issues that don't make a big difference when you're dating start to be a bigger deal. But it's foolish to try and focus in on a particular group. What you can do, if you get serious about getting hitched, is try to weed out the individuals who have traits that are obviously going to cause friction down the road. And that's where the greater personality issues come into play. Too many people these days get married foolishly, why else would we have such a high divorce rate? Try to save the world a little heartache, find someone who is as happy being with you as you are being with them. I used to have a sig, I got tired of it. |
| I'm not, and feel like replying today (Score:1) by DebtAngel (user@domain.com) on Sunday October 24, @06:58PM EST (#406) (User Info) |
| Between Rob's fingers and your fingers, something was taken out of context. In your defence, I think it *was* Rob's fault. 1. Yes, being able to tell my gf that I spent the day tweaking the Linux box at work is a good thing, especially if I get more than a smile and nod. 2. No, an in depth discussion about the port settings on my IP masquerading firewall is NOT good. You see, there is a huge difference between being about to talk about what you love to do, and arguing about what you love to do. And the easiest way to get rid of the argument is to simply have one person know less (but not nothing) about the subject matter. A relationship is also about balance; each person has strengths and weaknesses, and good relationships consist of partners with different strengths and weaknesses. If the strengths and weaknesses are the same, then the relationship will get nowhere beyond friendship, and we aren't talking about that :). Coding is best done alone. Breeding is best done in pairs. Never try to put the two together. The Lord DebtAngel Lord and Sacred Prince of all you owe --- A person is smart. People are dumb. --- |
| Re:I'm not, and feel like replying today (Score:1) by Rhys Dyfrgi on Sunday October 24, @09:48PM EST (#475) (User Info) |
| Coding is best done alone. Breeding is best done in pairs. Never try to put the two together. Except when you are working with genetic algorithms. --- END OF LINE |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:29PM EST (#420) |
| I, also, was extremely offended by this!! In my experience as a geek girl dating geek guys, the best relationships (the ones where people care about each other most, and trust each other most) come out of being best friends with someone -- and that usually only happens when you can understand each other and share common interests, such as programming, talking about networking, etc....trust and love come from understanding, not subserviance. |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by brianm9 (g a m e r s @ l i n u x s t a r t . c o m) on Sunday October 24, @07:51PM EST (#434) (User Info) |
| I honestly do not want to get done with writing a really groovy perl script, or finish a sweet game of quakeIII, and then go to my wife for loving, and she's in there playing starcraft. None of that. Conflict of interest. I like my gf as much as my computer(if not more.) Opposites attract :) |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by Wench (pnguu@netscape.net) on Sunday October 24, @10:08PM EST (#486) (User Info) |
| Let me just note: I honestly do not want to get done with writing a really groovy perl script, or finish a sweet game of Resident Evil (bored with Quake now), and then go to my bloke for loving, and he's in there playing starcraft. None of that. Think about it... if it's OK for you to get obsessed for hours with your interests, it has to be OK for your partner to get obsessed for hours with their interests. It doesn't matter whether its coding, writing poetry, practising music, doing mathematics, butterfly collecting or motorcycle mechanics. Fair is fair. love from the wench |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by Mock (kstenerud@hotmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @10:29PM EST (#498) (User Info) |
| I honestly do not want to get done with writing a really groovy perl script, or finish a sweet game of quakeIII, and then go to my wife for loving, and she's in there playing starcraft. Heck, I would! I'd join her. Then when we've whooped ass, we can fool around a bit. |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by adrn01 on Sunday October 24, @08:39PM EST (#450) (User Info) |
| I like your .sig: "To steal from one is plagiarism; to steal from many is research." -- wasn't this a line from "Lobachevsky" on an old Tom Lehrer album? |
| "Research v. plagiarism" (Score:1) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Monday October 25, @12:05PM EST (#686) (User Info) |
| I got it off the amused.com coolsig site. But there IS reference to a similar sentiment in "Lobachevsky": "In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize - Only be sure always to call it please 'research'." I'm sure it's a quite popular quote. Maybe Plato said it.
|
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:42PM EST (#505) |
| First off, I think the article was supposed to be funny, but it makes some good points anyway. I'm a she-geek myself (too old for the "girl" part) and I'm probably going to show this article to my geek guy next time I see him. For laughs if nothing else. In answer to some of the questions posed... When he says, no geek girls, and don't think too much about the really pretty ones either, isn't he going against the whole idea of considering people on their own merits, as opposed to group affiliation? Yeah, probably, but consider the audience. I suspect a lot of love-starved geekboys may have been narrowing their search too much. Looking only for geekgirls or beauty queens. There just aren't enough geekgirls (yet) or beauty queens to match each geekboy up with one. And I doubt they're willing to share. While it might not be a "waste of time" to seek a geekgirl or beauty queen, they'd be well advised to widen the search a little. But how is it that a geek girl "competes" in an unhealthful way? That would depend on the situation. How much overlap is there between what he geeks out over and what she geeks out over? If they both obsess over the same things all the time, they'll compete and there's gonna be friction. The relationship might survive it, but it's a risk. If their interests are a little divergent (he's a master of networks while she's a database genius f'rinstance) they can learn from each other, and each will get to be "the expert" some of the time. That's healthy. Don't you want someone who can UNDERSTAND when you're talking about a problem at the office/boxen/latest Linux convention? Two kinds of understanding. The "I know what you're talking about and I think I can help" kind, and the "I don't grok everything you just said, but I sympathize with your plight" kind. What kind do you want? I suspect most geeks like to solve their problems for themselves, but would like an "understanding" soul mate, even if s/he doesn't always "understand" every detail. If that makes any sense. It's even better if both kinds of understanding are part of the same delightful package, but that might be too much to hope for. If all they want from each other is sex, none of that will probably matter. Will there be a corresponding article for love-starved she-geeks appearing soon? |
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by xdroop on Monday October 25, @08:42AM EST (#643) (User Info) |
| Speaking as a geek myself, I'd have to say that I didn't want a geek as a partner. When I've had a long day fighting with compilers and smitty and HP-UX and stupid users, the last thing I want is to have my partner at home griping about the same damn thing. I want her griping about something completely separate from what I do. It makes it easier for me to leave the office at the office. Vive la difference. -- xhost + |
| Dare I say it? "Me too!" (Score:2) by fable2112 (fable@servtech.spam-me-not.com) on Monday October 25, @10:43AM EST (#662) (User Info) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/7723/ |
| I do understand that dating one's "clone" is a bad idea. However, the "traditional" marriage (what it sounds like this article is advocating) is something I've got BIG problems with. I mean, come on. Could the gender roles in this have been any more rigid? I do notice that this was posted under "It's funny. Laugh." which inclines me to give /. in general the benefit of the doubt as far as whether or not it's sexist goes ... but sheesh.
|
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:1) by redtoade on Monday October 25, @11:14AM EST (#677) (User Info) |
| hmmm...posted this twice, nothing happened. shucks: Not like anyone's going to read this, but.... You can tell that anyone who finds this well-spoken article to be offensive was never a 14-year-old boy. It's so easy to knee-jerk and say "HE'S SO SEXIST!" Of course that instantly reveals you as someone who is completely in the dark about being male. I have never found any tenet of feminism or political correctness that takes into consideration the turmoil your body goes through when you first become a teenager. If you weren't there, then you have no idea. Like a kick in the crotch, the pain can not be described to a woman... you either know or you don't. So a man's "journey" through mating begins with confusion and only gets worse with age. It's unfortunate that men need to see things in sexual context FIRST, but they do. Most likely because it began that way with puberty. But, not to come across too heavy, let me tell you what I know about women: 1. From the onset of puberty to about 13 - Women don't want you, they want some poster boy. Shaun Cassidy, Menudo, New Kids on the Block, Back Street Boys, etc.... 2. From 13 to 16 - they don't want you, they want older guys. Why would they date someone in their grade when there's tons of boys that can increase their popularity status? 3. From 16 to 18 - they don't want you, they want boys from other schools. How many times did I hear "I'm so sick of boys from our school... they're so immature!" 4. From 18 to 19 - they want you, but they want everybody... so what difference does it make? All college women go through that "How pretty am I" stage, where they get drunk and flop on their backs for just about anybody. (Well, maybe not ALL WOMEN... but enough that everyone reading this is laughing right now.) 5. From 19 to 21 - they don't want you, they don't want anybody. Now they often want time to themselves, and are very careful about whom they date. Which usually means joining an invisible convent. I think that this is where our hero (Uncle Robin) picks up. You've gone through your entire life watching women making the absolute biggest fools of themselves, but yet you still are stupid enough to want "in." What do you do? Kudos to you Uncle Robin. |
| Again, stereotyping the women! (Score:1) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Monday October 25, @11:57AM EST (#684) (User Info) |
| Yes. This post was funny, as eer most lists/jokes about "how women/men are". And I DO appreciate that men have a tough time with women, all men, all women, especially geek men. But I wasn't like that. I can truthfully say that I've only drooled a bit over two "poster boys" in my life. I didn't really think any of the guys at my HS looked good at all. I DID drool a bit over men who were intelligent and treated me with respect, which means a few geekish-almost guys in HS -- and three of my teachers. Now, in college, yes, I did enjoy that I got more attention, but I did NOT get drunk, EVER, and I was NOT promiscuous. I've found a man who is smart and sweet, and I'm sticking with him. WE'RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT. I hate to bring up the "Jessica" from Roblimo's post, but we did exist, we girls who weren't like the girls in your list. And yet we fade into the background. My sister told me that college would be my reward for getting through high school. Maybe she was right. But whether you're in HS or college, I sure hope that there is at least one person of the opposite sex who is not as asinine as the people presented in your list.
|
| Re:I'm a geek girl, and I have problems with this (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @01:01PM EST (#693) |
| > But I have problems when "Uncle Robin" excludes entire female populations from consideration. Yeah! What she said! I started laughing when I got to the implication that Geek Girls can't be supportive, nurturing, and willing to run you a bath at the end of a hard day. Really? That's certainly news to me. As for the cooking/cleaning/etc that you need someone to do at the end of your long, hard day -- Yes, Geek Girls aren't looking forward to such tasks any more than you are. That's what servants are for. Dual-Geek Incomes can afford at LEAST a cook, a maid, and a yard-boy -- I know, because I have these on just a Geek Girl income. (I can just imagine all the cool toys I'd have at home if someone was splitting the cost of the servants.) There are no hard and fast rules to "finding someone". If you start applying rules, and excluding large groups of people, you are only limiting your chances. If you are the type who would be happy with Mrs. Cleaver, who stays at home and starches your boxers for you, then look for that type. But if you're not, and you marry one anyway becuase you're afraid a Geek Girl might be too busy hacking her own code, don't expect any sympathy from us when wifey-poo starts whineing as soon as you work one second past 40 hours a week. (Seen it happen, laughed my ass off when he quit that job for her.) |
| Re:Also a geek girl, (Score:1) by CAIMLAS (caimlas@cats.wpe.com) on Monday October 25, @01:51AM EST (#572) (User Info) http://www.chienworks.com/~caimlas |
| I'm not sure what type of guys you're thinking of that can preform this type of feat. From what I gather, that would be quite painful, no matter what your interest, ability, race, gender, nationality, or species. Ewww, icky. ------- |
| Ah, one of the Greatest Mysteries.... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:51AM EST (#40) |
| I intend to print this article out, and bind it into a "Geek's Pocket Guide to Women", and keep it in my car. I just hope some of the things mentioned really work. Every woman I try to get to know seems to be totally uninterested. I'm posting anonymously, because I don't feel like being flamed to my identity. Being someone who has *never* had a girlfriend, I'm pretty much willing to take any good advice that trots my way. If it works, and I meet someone who I'd like to get to know, and wants to get to know me, hell, that would rock. I was smart back in school, but not exactly athletic, or popular. I never got the chance to date. Thanks for the advice, Roblimo. I'll try it out, and if it works (or if it doesn't), you'll hear about it. ;) |
| Re:Ah, one of the Greatest Mysteries.... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @08:52AM EST (#731) |
| Seeing as I am never on here I didn't bother to create an account. My only advice would be, to be yourself. I am not a geek girl, never have nor will I ever be one. But, still manage to get along just fine with my significant other. Just look for someone who is good for you. And no matter what that guy says "all" women are beautiful. Pamela Anderson is artificial beauty along with the rest of those so called supermodels. You want a real person, not someone primarily made of silicone. =) Good Luck! PS. Patience is the key. It took me four years to find my true love. |
| Bottom Line: Money (Score:2) by heroine (broadcast@earthling.net) on Sunday October 24, @11:51AM EST (#42) (User Info) http://freeyellow.com/members4/heroine/ |
| All these points can be summarized as follows: you're the breadwinner. Women you fall in love with shouldn't be involved in the perils of the economy. They shouldn't be geeks. They shouldn't be interested in computers. Their jobs shouldn't be technically oriented. Every one of these points tell us something not to expect out of women that is pretty fundamental to the modern economy. The problem is that someone has to go out and battle the economy so if you want these humanity majors you'd better get used to being the provider. |
| Re:Bottom Line: Money (& Competition) (Score:1) by hypatia on Sunday October 24, @08:11PM EST (#438) (User Info) |
| Not to mention the relative rarity of women who want nothing more than to nurture a geek. Even humanities women might, you know, want to devote the tiniest bit of time to, you know, that violin concerto thing they're composing, or their thesis on Derrida (not me btw, I'm taking both a CS degree in CS/Maths and a humanities degree in philosophy, but I'm just too damn lazy to work at it...) Margaret Wertheim pointed out in Pythagoras's Trousers (dead trees :-) that male physicists tend to be married to a 'little woman' whose mission in life is assisting a great mind to know the universe without having to cook overly much. So if you do find Ms. Perfect Life Assistant, be prepared to fend off great scientists of all persuasions :) And it's worse for women. Women in technical fields (doctors are the stereotypical example) tend to marry men in similar fields. Where are the men who are prepared to devote themselves to letting us acheive our potential without interacting with, you know, life or anything? |
| Humanities majors--huh? (Score:1) by morrigan (feland@hotmail.com) on Monday October 25, @11:44AM EST (#683) (User Info) |
| I am a geek. I also have a degree in medieval history and literature, and have had absolutely no formal training whatsoever in computer science or any related field. That doesn't stop me from getting a high-paying geek job in today's economy, however. Technology is a great equalizer. In today's economy, it doesn't matter what your major was. It doesn't matter how many years of experience you have. All that matters is how well you code, how good a sysadmin you are, how fast you learn, and how much passion you have for the machines and the software that runs them. Another thing: these days, with the high cost of living in the technology centers of the world, having two breadwinners in the family is not a bad thing. In short, money shouldn't be a concern in choosing a mate, unless you are in need of a provider yourself. "Who is more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?" -- Obi-Wan Kenobi |
| Roblimo saves /. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:52AM EST (#44) |
| Most of Slashdot is crap these days. Full of over-moderation, repeat stories, and vague advertisements. This feature didn't suck. I have a new-found respect for Roblimo which wasn't previously there, and hope to see more of his writings. That's all... |
| Re:Roblimo saves /. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:32PM EST (#204) |
| I'll second that one. If Slashdot had more posts that were not quite as "geeky" I would imagine there would be a great deal more debate and conversation, such as this article has caused. |
| Disagree Completely (Score:5, Insightful) by Skyshadow on Sunday October 24, @11:52AM EST (#46) (User Info) |
| We need what are now called "old fashioned girls" who don't mind cooking our meals, rubbing our sore shoulders, and running our bath water for us. There are plenty of these women out there. They're as eager to find you as you are to find them. The trick is sorting through the 6 billion people on this planet to find the woman who is right for you instead of wasting your time on women with whom you cannot possibly build a long-term, mutually beneficial relationship. Got to disagree with you there, Roblimo. I'll disclaim by stating that everybody has different tastes in what they're looking for in a SO, but here's my take on this one: Find someone who can and will drag your ass out of your chair every so often. Find someone who you feel is on par with you - they don't have to know computers, but they'd better be able to hold the line in a decent discussion without all of this "well, I'm sure you know best" crap that some people seem to be stuck with (my experience is with women, but I know guys who are like this). IMHO, the best lover and companion isn't someone who caters after you 24/7. It should be a tit-for-tat type deal; I wash, you dry. Hell, some of the best relationship moments I've had have even revolved around disagreements -- remember, competition is a Good Thing(tm). If she just lets you win all the time, you'll get soft. Of course, the caveat to this is that you both always have to know that, in the final analysis, you're always on the other person's side before anyone elses. It's sappy, but the best example I can think of for this sort of relationship is from "Mad About You", that series with Helen Hunt and Paul Riser. Love each other, support each other, but most important: be one another's best friend. ---- |
| Re:Disagree Completely (Score:1) by CryptdotX on Sunday October 24, @12:38PM EST (#123) (User Info) http://home1.gte.net/crypt |
| It's sappy, but the best example I can think of for this sort of relationship is from "Mad About You", that series with Helen Hunt and Paul Riser. Love each other, support each other, but most important: be one another's best friend. Yeah, the best example you can come up with is a set of fictional characters. That should tell you something about the validity of what you're saying. In theory, theory and practice are the same thing. In practice, they're not. |
| Don't be a dick. (Score:2) by Skyshadow on Sunday October 24, @01:07PM EST (#161) (User Info) |
| No, the best example I can come up with that will be easily understood by as many people as possible is a set of fictional characters. It's got something to do with the amount of exposure TV characters get as opposed to actual people. I *could* have said, "The best example I can think of for this sort of relationship is my friend Mike and his girlfriend Sarah", but that would only be effective to the people who know them (a relatively small sample). Trollboy. ---- |
| Re:Don't be a dick. (Score:1) by CryptdotX on Sunday October 24, @01:36PM EST (#210) (User Info) http://home1.gte.net/crypt |
| Hmm... Mike and Sarah... Yeah, maybe they have a good relationship. However, I still think that people who model their relationship on that of a couple of TV characters aren't living entirely in the real world. |
| Re:Disagree Completely (Score:1) by G27 Radio on Sunday October 24, @12:39PM EST (#124) (User Info) http://g27.org/numb/pics |
| I'm with ya on that point Skyshadow. Especially "Find someone who can and will drag your ass out of your chair every so often." One of best things about my last relationship was the fact that she got me to do stuff I wouldn't usually go out of my way to do. I actually learned something from her. Sure it would have been nice if she cooked, cleaned, and ran my bathwater for me, but that's not enough to keep me interested any more than good looks. Roblimo, I think your article is pretty cool overall. You're going to get flamed to a crisp for some of it ...and I think you deserve a little flamage for this one along with the kudos. numb ?syntax error ] |
| Re:Disagree Completely (Score:1) by Forward The Light Br (rsinha@glue.umd.edu) on Sunday October 24, @01:27PM EST (#197) (User Info) |
| yes but you and he are not really contradicting; you can find intelligent gutsy women who nonetheless are not career oriented; my post to the main article notwithstanding, I dont think I want a woman who is that yielding, but then, I have not gone out with any yielding women yet. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars --Oscar Wilde My nick is Forward the Light Brigade, damnit!!! |
| Right on the mark. (Score:1) by zak on Sunday October 24, @02:42PM EST (#268) (User Info) |
| Absolutely correct my friend. You have to look for a partner for life - a worthy mate, not a nanny. |
| Re:Disagree Completely (Score:1) by GnrcMan (casey@sarahandcasey.com) on Sunday October 24, @03:32PM EST (#300) (User Info) http://www.sarahandcasey.com |
| I second that! My long time girlfriend, while she has very little interest in computers, is very intelligent. A classics major, in fact. She speaks Latin, I speak C++, and somewhere in the confusion, we get along. She's greatly balanced my life, but if she ever caught me writing anything close to Roblimo's piece...well...I suppose the couch isn't that uncomfortable. :) |
| Re:Disagree Completely (Score:1) by tzanger (tzanger@spam.blows.mixdown.org) on Sunday October 24, @04:30PM EST (#332) (User Info) http://www.mixdown.org |
| Like others on this forum... I have to second that... or third... sixteenth? :-) My wife is not one to "cater" to me... In fact, one of her favourite slogans is, "What, do I have maid written across my forehead?!" What she does do is take care of me, and that sometimes makes me feel like she's catering to me when all she is really doing is what she considers her part in the "family thing." We have great arguements, which is one of the best things in any relationship I think... Neither of us are weak-minded but we're learning the art of the compromise where appropriate. And as far as pulling me away from the chair... Um... well.. she kinda climbs on top of me ON the chair. I'm glad I didn't get one of those cheap chairs! :-) It makes me feel a little weird sometimes, to be taken care of, but I wouldn't want anyone else... |
| Re:Disagree Completely (Score:1) by Snarl on Sunday October 24, @06:05PM EST (#379) (User Info) |
| Talking about "relationship" movies, "When Harry met Sally" and "Frankie and Johnny" are also good movies of that sort. The relationship has to have a certain snap to it, I find intelligence to be an important factor. I'm not talking about the genious type-150-IQ, but that she understand what you mean without you having to explain. (And such...) To quote Sean in "Good Will Hunting": onMushy(){ "She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other." } - Jesus saves - Gretzky gets the rebound and scores! |
| Re:Disagree Completely (Score:1) by dud023 (dud#dstc.edu.au) on Monday October 25, @12:42AM EST (#556) (User Info) http://www.dstc.edu.au/AU/staff/dud/ |
It's sappy, but the best example I can think of for this sort of relationship is from "Mad About You", that series with Helen Hunt and Paul Riser. Love each other, support each other, but most important: be one another's best friend.But most important: worry about how your assigned gender role makes your relationship inherently unsatisfactory - remember that girls are into shopping and guys are into baseball. Fuck I hate that show! Keith Duddy : dud at dstc.edu.au : http://www.dstc.edu.au/AU/staff/dud |
| Interesting article! (Score:1) by browser_war_pow on Sunday October 24, @11:54AM EST (#49) (User Info) http://digitalheresy.tripod.com |
| Very enlightening. My problem is that most people think there is something psychologically wrong with me because I am a geek stuck in the body of a jock. Many people who don't know me think that I play on my school's football team or something like that, but they act like I am the antichrist when they find out I don't really like sports. Another funny thing is that I haven't had a girlfriend since the summer before 10th grade, and I am a junior now. Oh well. Good article. I might mirror it on my site just to make sure that this gem doesn't get lost in /.'s archives. Linux the GNU world order |
| Re:Interesting article! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 27, @12:21AM EST (#761) |
| >>Many people who don't know me think that I play on my school's football team or something like that, but they act like I am the antichrist when they find out I don't really like sports. It's jealousy. I say this cause I have the opposite problem. I love sports and being competitive, but I don't have the coordination or the physique for it. It always pissed me off when I met people who were born with abilities I struggle after, and they don't even have the drive to use it. (Wasted material sucks...) The Asshole |
| Re:Interesting article! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 27, @12:26AM EST (#762) |
| You said: "Many people who don't know me think that I play on my school's football team or something like that, but they act like I am the antichrist when they find out I don't really like sports." It's jealousy. I say this cause I have the opposite problem. I love sports and being competitive, but I don't have the coordination or the physique for it. It always pissed me off when I met people who were born with abilities I struggle after, and they don't even have the drive to use it. (Wasted material sucks...) The Asshole |
| Book Deal (Score:1) by InsomniacsDream on Sunday October 24, @11:55AM EST (#50) (User Info) http://cml.grc.nasa.gov/~chuck |
| This was a great post. It's nice to have a little personal stuff mixed in with all the tech stuff. A good balance. I think Rob should consider a BOOK DEAL. I know a lot of geeks who would appreciate it. I loved the computer analogies (HOWTO, Open Source, etc.) I think some people missed the point though. This was not a "how to get laid" tutorial, but rather "how to have a MEANINGFUL long-lasting relationship". It's much more difficult to do the latter. From my own experience I can attest that much of this advice is true. I have been happily-married for six years now, and I've been a geek the whole time, although not necessarily just with computers. I just recently graduated with my PhD in Applied Math from Northwestern, and it was no picnic. Sometimes I think the only thing that kept me sane was my "non-geek" wife. It's eerie how much my own relationship mirrors what Rob described as a good match. The last thing in the world my wife cares to talk about is computers, but she respects my own passion for them. Also, she knows better than to disturb me when I'm in MY room, but when I come out, she's there waiting for me just the same (unless it's that time of the month. look out!). An old-fashioned girl is definitely the way to go. If she were any more liberated, we wouldn't have made it this far. ----------------------------------------- You're getting sleepy ... very sleepy ... |
| Coming Soon from O'Reilly: _Women in a Nutshell_ (Score:1) by acb on Monday October 25, @11:28AM EST (#679) (User Info) |
| Though they'd have to be careful about choosing an animal for the cover... |
| Girls in Playboy (Score:1) by Processor AL on Sunday October 24, @11:55AM EST (#51) (User Info) |
| those who have learned how to use their looks as a tool to manipulate men will almost always make your life miserable in the long run - Whew! I can attest to that through several painful experiences. Some of the manipulating hotties have looked great without makeup, etc. too. One of the warning signs: you spend more time with x than me Thanks for sharing your experiences. I learned a couple of things from your article. For instance, typically my first attempts to touch a woman usually involve some exchange of saliva (either uni- or bi-directional). While it can do the trick to get some nookie, I'm sitting here alone in this big house right now. (laughs) A touch on the arm seems a slightly less accelerated and wiser approach. |
| Don't think so... (Score:2, Insightful) by Mendax Veritas (mendaxveritas@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:56AM EST (#52) (User Info) |
They also like honest compliments, so if you touch the back of her hand and it makes you feel all warm inside, go ahead and say, "Touching the back of your hand makes me feel all warm inside." I'm having difficulty imagining a woman who would feel comfortable hearing something like that from a man she wasn't already seriously involved with. If you say something like this to a woman you've just met, she'll probably either be seriously creeped out or she'll assume it's a lame pick-up line. I doubt Roblimo's article is really going to help anyone do better with women. You don't improve your social skills by reading about them. You just have to get out there and relate to real people and learn from your experiences. |
| what a useless waste of a post. (Score:1) by adrn (uljharquamlas@marijuana.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:57AM EST (#54) (User Info) |
| what the hell is this doing here? if i need some kind of help like this, i certainly will not come to slashdot! this is not what i come here for, besides the fact that it is poorly written and informs us of nothing insightful, not to mention how chauvinistic it is. please curb your useless "news" posts. if you really need to post some utter crap like this again, feel free to post it somewhere that is interested in crap like mTV or seventeen.com . do not insult us again with this offensive tripe. |
| Re:what a useless waste of a post. (Score:1) by Anarkhia (graeme@s_p-a_m.anarkhia.dhs.org) on Sunday October 24, @12:28PM EST (#101) (User Info) http://anarkhia.dhs.org |
| Yes, we wouldn't want to put anything "real world" in YOUR precious Slashdot. News Flash: Roblimo can post to /. and you can't. He's more a part of it than you, so put up or shut up. It's refreshing to see something on here other than Lego and Perl (not that those aren't good too). -G |
| what a useless waste of a post. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @11:06AM EST (#671) |
| what a useless waste of a post. |
| Re:what a useless waste of a post. (Score:2) by m3000 (m3000@nospam.tampabay.rr.com) on Sunday October 24, @05:54PM EST (#373) (User Info) http://m3000.1wh.com/linux |
| Considering this thing will get over 400 replies, I don't think it was a wasted post. |
| Re:what a useless waste of a post. (Score:1) by Emperor Cezar on Sunday October 24, @10:21PM EST (#491) (User Info) |
| This article is for NERDS. The easiest and best way to reach nerds is through Slashdot "Oh, praise thou holly name!" If you do not have the IQ to realize the logic behind the posting of this article than I suggest that you quit reading Slashdot and begin to read Seventeen and other such magazines. Short but sweet The comments of me are not necessarily those of me. I cannot be held responsible for comments made by me, myself, and I. Also neither can Slashdot, The US Government, the citizens of Earth, God, and or any other deity in which you might worship. |
| short but lame (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @11:05AM EST (#670) |
| this article is a bunch of sexist crap - and your post is fucking stupid. |
| HOWTO pick-up women, important links: (Score:2, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:57AM EST (#55) |
(From a former lonely geek now banging chicks left and right): Useful resources:
|
| Re:HOWTO pick-up women, important links: (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @03:18PM EST (#293) |
Hmm... a "Score:1, Informative" post from an AC who claims to be "banging chicks left and right". Am I missing something? |
| Re:HOWTO pick-up women, important links: (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @06:05AM EST (#615) |
| Yeah I'm banging chicks left and right, and that's not the issue. It's the links BELOW which are informative. Haven't you ever wondered why there would'nt be practical, unbiased, open-source, not politically correct information on how to pick up women on the 'net? Well there is! Nathan SZILARD |
| this is sickening (Score:2, Insightful) by cd_smith (cd_smith@ou.edu) on Sunday October 24, @11:57AM EST (#57) (User Info) http://cdsmith.twu.net/ |
| Hey, I have nothing but respect for everyone that writes for /. but this article is just sick and wrong. I suppose it's good advice if your goal in life is to get laid on a regular basis. I thought most /. readers were above that. My advice to /. readers: rewarding, fulfilling relationships are much easier if you: * Don't make sex your goal * Don't objectify the people you have relationships with * Don't think of it as "dating" |
| B*S (Score:1) by Nicolas MONNET (nico@nospam.monnet.to) on Sunday October 24, @12:05PM EST (#71) (User Info) http://nicolas.monnet.to |
| Bullshit. Since I've made sex (one of my) goal(s) I feel much better. If you don't, you always fall in LJBFland -- where LJBF = Let's Just Be Friends. That sucks, you feel bad, and repeat after me: WOMEN WANT SEX JUST AS MUCH AS MEN DO, just not with anybody (unlike men). |
| Re:B*S (Score:2) by scrytch on Sunday October 24, @02:03PM EST (#235) (User Info) |
| > WOMEN WANT SEX JUST AS MUCH AS MEN DO, just not with anybody (unlike men). Best as I can summarize, from my very much outside perspective, this is quite true; However, after going through a lifetime of being patronized and objectified, most women tend to want meaningful sexual relations. After having shallow and crude sexual innuendo and gestures -- and often intercourse itself -- pushed on you for years and years, you'd grow pretty weary of sex for its own sake too. It becomes like the trendy song on the radio they just won't stop playing: After a while you get to hate the whole genre. This is a portrait of an extreme, but just ask any woman friend where inbetween she falls. |
| Re:B*S (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:34PM EST (#421) |
| Meaningful relationship? Hell, what I can say is that the women that have made you wait for 1 month or several to get you to bed, I (or others) might ve bagged them in a few hours or days. Women want casual sex too! And more than you'd think. The interesting part of is thusly: IT ALL DEPENDS HOW YOU POSITION YOURSELF. If you're being nice and caring, then they will position themselves as a potential long term relationshop partner -- hence, they won't show you the slutty side EVERY WOMAN HAS. Now, if you position yourself as SEXUAL and DESIRABLE, they will show you their short term side. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Hell, a year ago *I* did'nt know this!!! Woman don't want to show to LTR partner that they are SLUTS too (no pejorative connotation here) because they want to KEEP their LTR partners and get them to believe they're exclusive. I won't go in greater details here, go read 'The Evolution of Desires', can be found on Amazon.com, or go read alt.seduction.fast if you have questions. Nathan SZILARD |
| Re:B*S (Score:1) by cd_smith (cd_smith@ou.edu) on Sunday October 24, @03:38PM EST (#302) (User Info) http://cdsmith.twu.net/ |
| I'm not saying sex is a bad thing. I'm saying that, given a choice between having sex with someone I don't know or spending an evening talking with someone I can never have sex with, I would choose the latter. I figured most slashdot readers would be of a similar opinion. So was I wrong? How would you people choose in the above circumstance. |
| This is great (Score:1) by DrZaius (gary@atdot.org) on Sunday October 24, @11:58AM EST (#58) (User Info) http://www.fvlu.dhs.org |
| I really enjoyed reading this. It was very amusing. Normally, statements suggesting 'geeks spend too much time on computers' are offensive, but here it wasn't. And I would have to say that most of it is correct. My current girlfriend is a geek -- straight A's in the advanced courses, really 'straight edge', yadda yadda yadda. Although, she isn't very good with computers, which is a good thing as it gives us breathing space (but I still try and teach her OO programming techniques every now and then). One piece of advice I would like to add: Find a lady that looks good without makeup on and you will never be dissapointed. Where can you meet girls without makeup on? Go and do althletic stuff. Not that athletic? Go play ultimate (frisbee, for those who don't know) as there are more forgiving people willing to teach and wait for your growing pains than any other sport. Not to mention 'naked points' -- the number one "try before you buy". :) -- DrZaius - Minister of Sciences and Protector of the Faith |
| be yourself, dammit (Score:2, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:58AM EST (#59) |
| This article sucks. It reminds me of my sex obsessed middle aged uncle who was always trying to give me advice about women when I was growing up. The sad thing is, I could see right through his one dimentional attitude towards women, and even at age 15 could understand why he was always searching, searching, searching and was never really happy (even though he was rich and got laid alot). In the end, if you just be yourself and are respectful and kind to people you interact with you will eventually attract a person who matches your personality best. If you are a totally dorky nerd with no interpersonal skills, it will probably take a while, but it will happen. As usual, being true to yourself can be a lonely task if you are a "unique" person. But if you are patient, the payout is enormous. So don't be manipulative or work too hard at "catching" a woman or try to change yourself, but on the other hand don't let your high IQ seduce you into becoming closeminded (know-it-all) or snide or dysfunctionally withdrawn from the world. Make an effort, but be true to yourself. Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for ... if you remain true to them, your world will at last be built." --- James Allen |
| Re:be yourself, dammit (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:27PM EST (#99) |
| Right on target! And no lies! Talk to each other. |
| Re:be yourself, dammit (Score:1) by SPiKe on Sunday October 24, @12:59PM EST (#149) (User Info) |
| You hit the nail right on the head, sir. Always be true to one's self. Don't regret or be ashamed of who you are. |
| a little off target (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 28, @10:14PM EST (#771) |
| I agree w/ the whole "be yourself" thing, but I didn't see the article as a HOWTO for who you should be, but some help in getting your interpersonal skills early. I damned sure need that type of help. Oh yeah, and it was a humor article, under the name of "Uncle Robin." Don't take everything you read for fact. -devin mullins twifkak@hotmail.com |
| What Geeks Need. (Score:1) by the_tsi (wNiOlSlPiAeM@perigee.net) on Sunday October 24, @11:59AM EST (#60) (User Info) |
| Step one, find someone of similar social status (and would make an appropriate partner based upon both participants sexual orientation) who is not interested in a relationship, but still interested in Mutually Beneficial Activities(tm). Participate in said Activities frequently (and safely, for the record) in the name of Learning (and Enjoyment). This will help two things: 1. it lessens the level of frustration, and 2. it will break down your inhibitions about contact (emotional AND phsyical) with other people Then you can move on to true (and much more socially acceptable) romantic relationships. -Chris |
| Re:What Geeks Need. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:52PM EST (#227) |
| That small blurb was better than that article. It's really true. |
| Re:What Geeks Need. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @12:18AM EST (#547) |
| This formula is the best. Absolutely. Sex is only natural, and it will improove your communication skills. As always, experience is the key. I take it as a responsibility to my posible soulmate to know as much about sex as I can so I can please her in any way possible, and I expect the same from her. Learn Learn Learn! BTW: Mutually Beneficial Activities (tm)? Cool... sebastian@yifan.net |
| You have to listen too (Score:1) by Nagash (gzw@home.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:00PM EST (#64) (User Info) http://woz.yi.org |
| I was a loner and bitter toward most everyone all of the time. I did go out every now and then, but it was just to get my kicks from people I thought were idiots and get out aggressions at the same time. I was also gutless when it came to talking to anyone I found interesting (this was the same throughout all of high school). When I met Beata (whom I now live with and love very much), I did something I hadn't done before: I looked into her eyes and just talked with her. And I listened. Long story made short, we fell in love and have been together for a little over 2 years. Needless to say, I am very happy with life, even being only 25. All of what was said in the above article is true. You have to talk and listen. These are by far the most important. You also have to call her/him back when you are interested. They won't know if you don't. And for crying out loud, look into their eyes. They really are the window to the soul. (Don't forget to mention that their eyes look good, if you find them attractive =) Oh yes, and don't follow the above as a formula. People are not formulaic, so why take that approach? Geoff Wozniak gzw@home.com |
| Feminist (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:02PM EST (#66) |
| "We need what are now called "old fashioned girls" who don't mind cooking our meals, rubbing our sore shoulders, and running our bath water for us" I predict that you'll get lots of mail because of the above sentence. But seriously most people are 'inexperienced' at getting the opposite sex and it shows. They (women) are likewise the same. Practice, practice, practice. One must fall down a lot before one can appreciate being upright. |
| Don't listen to him! (Score:2) by pb (pdbaylie@eos.ncsu.edu) on Sunday October 24, @12:03PM EST (#70) (User Info) http://www4.ncsu.edu/~pdbaylie |
| Waste time on geek girls and porn stars! Find yourself a geek girl pornstar! Asia Carrera, are you listening? :) But seriously, my girlfriend is somewhat geeky, maybe not as bad as I am, but I like it when she knows what I'm talking about. Being geeky doesn't mean being competitive (I'm not), it doesn't mean being obsessed with computers (she's isn't really, unless you count computer games, but many non-geeky people share that flaw), and it doesn't mean being unable to communicate with people or being unable to express yourself. Some of your advice is good, but I don't need a woman who will simply accept that I'm different, get in the kitchen, and make me some pie. I think that relationship would be missing something. --- pb Reply rather than vaguely moderate me. #1020 Or send e-mail. Signal is better than noise. |
| You are truly old school (Score:2, Interesting) by Scott (pope@SpamMeAndDie.ossuary.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:07PM EST (#76) (User Info) |
| As in from the time long ago when men were manly and women were June Cleaver. That's just not going to work for me. I agree that you need to talk to them & ask questions just like they're one of your best friends, but your motives for doing so are quite gross. From what you've said, it seems the only reason to be nice to a woman is on the outside chance she'll make your bed in the morning and let you see her bits once in awhile. That's a pretty messed up way of thinking. If I want a slave, I'll go hang out at the local S&M places. As for your idea that she shouldn't be a geek, and probably shouldn't be involved in computers, that would present problems for me. Sure I don't live & breathe the things, but it sure would be nice to be able to sit around somewhere and be able to talk like a total nerdy luser and not have to explain everything. Your theory might work in 1960, but it's not going to work most of the time these days, thank Bob. |
| What's the purpose of competition? (Score:1) by jpritikin on Sunday October 24, @12:08PM EST (#77) (User Info) http://why-compete.org |
| You want to feel good, all the time or at least whenever you want. Let me tell you a secret. This wont come as a surprise to many of you: How you feel is not random. You are programmed to feel good in specific situations and you are programmed to feel like shit in other situations. This is where being a programmer comes in handy. You already know how to program computers so why not re-program yourself? This is a *major* advantage when it comes to girls (or guys). In relationships, people always complain that the other person wont change. But what if you are willing to change? You're going to be in *high* demand. Let me tell you, this is what is most attractive: the ability to change yourself dynamically, on the fly. That's where it's at big time! And as a programmer, you have a huge head start because you already know programming. |
| hmm... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:09PM EST (#78) |
| Doesn't any one else find this article a little (or maybe extreemly) sexist, I mean a girl who will cook your meals and rub your shoulders when you are sore? And you talk mostly about her looks, is what she has to say at all important? Maybe you should just get a maid and a poster to wack off to if thats all you want. Your wife should be someone to discuss things with, and if she can't understand anything you do, or anything thats important to you, then she might as well be your regular girl down at the local brothel... |
| Re:hmm... (Score:1) by astock on Sunday October 24, @02:42PM EST (#266) (User Info) |
| I agree. If it was meant to be funny, it's a lame effort. Obviously time I start filtering out the "humour" efforts. |
| Women? Bah. Computers are FAR easier. (Score:1) by Accipiter (shadSowfireP@hotAmail.cMom) on Sunday October 24, @12:09PM EST (#80) (User Info) http://www.hackphreak.org |
| Well put, Robin. We'd all like to be able to fantasize about having a supermodel for a girlfriend, but let's be realistic. The "Pretty 'n Popular" crowd is usually a very shallow and uncommiting group. Personally, I'm into someone who, while not obnoxious, is individual and is not afraid to voice her own opinion. I don't want somenoe who: A) Agrees with everything I say. or B) Disputes everything I say. Neither of those types of people will work out. Each situation will end up driving you both crazy. Sure, you'll disagree on some things, but the reason you're going out in the first place is probably because you found you each have something in common. For that to happen, there has to be an amount of agreement. Disagreement is essential as well. (Do you REALLY want someone who just says yes to everything you say?) Intelligent debate goes right down the drain. Constant agreement would drive me insane. I have to disagree on the Computer part though. She doesn't have to be a guru, but SOME knowledge would definitely be a plus. (Although my fantasy is to have a woman who would come up behind me while I'm programming and give me a shoulder massage, while at the same time, offering suggestions or corrections in my code.) -- Give him Head? Be a Beacon? |
| Clueless high-school guys, listen! (Score:5, Insightful) by HoserHead (hoserhead@bigfoot.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:12PM EST (#83) (User Info) http://www.woot.net |
| I'm still in highschool, though in my last year, and in the past two months I've met a girl that makes me happier than I've ever been - she's understanding, she's caring, and moreover, she likes me! But there's a trick to "getting girls to like you." It's not a magic potion or a pick-up line - nothing will make a girl like you. (It has to come from the heart.) But a girl can discover that they like you by getting to know you - and here's the tricky part. Be friends with girls first! It's hard for a lot of guys, particularly guys (like me) who've, in the past, only ever struck out. But if you see a girl you like, and you want to give a relationship a chance at being real, you can't rush it. Strike up a conversation, spend time with her - and don't rush anything! Believe me, you can wait. You've done it in the past, haven't you? The simple fact is, you wouldn't want to be intimately involved (and no, I'm not just referring to sex) with someone who you wouldn't want to be at least friends with. A relationship is about communication and openness, and those require trust - and you have to develop trust over time. Be friends with girls; not only will you gain knowledge about the way an extra X chromosome makes a human's mind work, but you might just find that people do, in fact, like you for who you are. It's not so big a jump from "She's my friend" to "She's my girlfriend," after all. |
| Re:Clueless high-school guys, listen! (Score:1) by haroldK on Sunday October 24, @12:37PM EST (#120) (User Info) |
| Right on. I've known my now-girlfreind for about 4 years. We've only been an official couple for about 2 1/2 weeks. She isn't a computer geek (you better believe I am), but she respects my interest in it. We have always had a good time together as freinds and when a mutual freind kept trying to get us to "go out" (kind of a bad term, but it's widely used, so...) we got to talking about it. It turns out we're both exactly what the other wanted. It was worth having her for a freind for 4 years to be able to share what we do now. My point is, if you can't be happy with her as a freind, you probably can't be happy with her as more. |
| People getting it right. (Score:1) by Trebonius on Sunday October 24, @01:41PM EST (#218) (User Info) http://marvin.smoothness.org |
| It's good to see people finally getting this sort of thing right. I didn't for most of high school, but now that I'm in college, I've got the best girlfriend I could concievably have. For the first time in my life it wasn't another case of me pestering a girl until she dated me, but instead... This girl, this woman was attracted to me from the very start. I must admit that I little noticed her in the beginning, but eventually, I began realising what a wonderful person this shy little girl was. Even then, I could never have guessed how passionate this shy girl can be. What can I say? I'm in love. |
| Re:Clueless high-school guys, listen! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:11PM EST (#169) |
| I think this is better written and better advice than the "feature" article! |
| Re:Clueless high-school guys, listen! (Score:1) by Eraser_ (hawk@lomag.net) on Sunday October 24, @01:41PM EST (#217) (User Info) |
| I'm still in high school too, and have had the exact same experience with girls as you have. I've always had a lot of friends who happen to be girls (wording girl-friend w/o implying dateing has got to be the hardest thing to do). My current girlfriend is one of my best friends, as well as someone i am in love with (please no crtisism on that). We were friends for about 6 or 7 months before we became *close* friends, and we started dateing. she has almost no interest in computers, but i do. Its not something that either of us really notice, we just focus on other things that we like mutually. dont rush it are words to live by. Eraser_ |
| Don't rush it!!!! Ahh!!! That's a good one! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:26AM EST (#634) |
| *DO* RUSH IT! In the past 3 months I've had sex with 5 women who I had just met at most 3 hours before! (Nah I did'nt pay anything -- actually I don't even buy women drinks! It's for frsutrated losers who think love can be bought!) Whereas when I was in highschool ... duh. I'm now 25 BTW. I have the same approach with women as I have with programming: learn, experience, fail, debug, retry, score! Women want *sex*. See http://www.pickupguide.com/ -- Nathan SZILARD |
| Re:Clueless high-school guys, listen! (Score:1) by sith (mcfadden@no_junk.athenet.net) on Sunday October 24, @01:44PM EST (#221) (User Info) |
| I've gotta agree. I got through 3 years of high school with no real desire to have a girlfriend, until this summer. I started hanging out with a girl who I'd always considered a friend, but we had never been real close. After we started hanging out, I fell deeply in love with her, and its been so great for the last 3 months, I can' imagine being apart from her. I do agree with Roblimos points about not trying to find a geek girl. It doesn't work. I used to think how cool it would be to have a girlfriend who knew linux and perl and all that cool stuff, but I realized that the point of a relationship is not to find somebody just like you, but to instead find someone who can open up your mind to new things. |
| Making Girls Like You (Score:1) by morbid (morbid@delphinus.demon.co.uk) on Sunday October 24, @05:11PM EST (#358) (User Info) http://www.delphinus.demon.co.uk |
| Indeed, you cannot "make" anyone like you and I agree completely that it is all about getting to know people. However, if you are a miserable, ugly, cantankerous old git like me, you just have to accept that your chances of meeting a woman who'll be more than "just friends" (as if that should be belittled) are pretty negligable. However, when you're feeling lonely, at least you will know that you have lots of dependable friends there for you, who's judgement is not tainted by physical attraction. It's wonderful to have these friends! They are truly what make life worth living! ;-> |
| Re:Clueless high-school guys, listen! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:03PM EST (#409) |
| or you could just take a whole lot of drugs... it's the same thing. love is a chemical imbalance, drugs create the same sort of imbalance. relationships fuck you over in the end, and drugs will also probably fuck you over. i'm in high school. i have what could be considered a relationship. yet i've gotten absolutely nothing out of it. a relationship is not what most autistic geeks are really looking for. what is good for all those dumbfucks out there is not nessicarily good for you.. what i'm trying to say is that girls aren't everything. even though your hormones are in overdrive, it doesn't mean that you NEED a girlfriend. it's not the most important thing in the world, nor is it the best. treat yourself to a jerk and a joint, and then decide for yourself. (please excuse the vulgarity and the incoherence, I am just a autistic high school geek) |
| Re:Clueless high-school guys, listen! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:23AM EST (#632) |
| Yeah; be friends first, and then they tell you "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!" and you feel bad and you've got nothing and you realize that you've wasted all that time for a person that is NOT attracted to you. Mind you, a much better strategy is to ask 100 women "wanna fuck" -- much better sucksex, and quicker! Go read alt.seduction.fast -- Nathan SZILARD |
| this guy has a way with words (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:17PM EST (#89) |
| I was lucky enough to meet my fiance before i became a computer geek. I guess most people learn this stuff early on whereas computer geeks take a little longer to get it right. But the things stated in this post are indeed right on the money. |
| Glad it had the "foot" icon anyway (Score:2, Flamebait) by scrytch on Sunday October 24, @12:17PM EST (#90) (User Info) |
| One part dry humor, ten parts asinine, a hundred parts yawn. I'll probably be single for the rest of my life because I don't relate to people, but I'd rather be that than ... I don't have the words. The author ever thought of women as people? Oh wait, I guess he doesn't have to, because he's married now, and is guaranteed to have her for life. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAaaaaa You're in for some bitter resentment down the line, boy. |
| Time for a "Women" topic.... (nt) (Score:1) by MatriXOracle on Sunday October 24, @01:09PM EST (#168) (User Info) http://www.globalserve.net/~fornixon |
| ... |
| Re:Glad it had the "foot" icon anyway (Score:1) by tomita (pgodman_but_no_spam@halcyon.com) on Sunday October 24, @06:04PM EST (#378) (User Info) |
| Well said. I would rather live a hundred celibate lives than reach the depths of self- and external degradation to which the original author has sunk. I hope his wife is at peace with being handmaid, sperm repository, and baby factory. I am so revolted by the number of assenting responses to this essay, (to paraphrase woody allen "and I'm complimenting you by considering it an essay") that I once again resolve to never read Slashdot again. |
| Re:Glad it had the "foot" icon anyway (Score:1) by Captain Lloyd on Sunday October 24, @09:34PM EST (#466) (User Info) |
| I gave my girl a link to this article, it made her feel special, my 2 cents |
| Geek girls rock (Score:1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:20PM EST (#93) |
| I'm in love with, and live with a geek girl. It's great. We take care of each other. We can talk about our work with each other. I don't want someone who is looking after me like I was a helpless loser and she was a brainless servant. |
| Re:Geek girls rock (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @06:03AM EST (#614) |
| I totally agree. Geek girls are a natural fit for geek boys, and don't let anyone tell you different. Being able to talk to someone who _really_ understands your work problems (and can often help) can't be beat. We've been two happy geeks together now for 7 years. Our home network is used for emails that supper's ready and for those late night deathmatches :) Togetherness is being able to share the excitement of a new kernel release or new game or the frustration of a new bug. Geek girls may be rare, but believe me, they're worth looking for. "Couples who debug core together, stay together":) |
| Debbie's advise for lonely Geeks! (Score:3, Funny) by Nitrozac (nitrozac@geekculture.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:21PM EST (#95) (User Info) http://www.geekculture.com/geekycomics/Aftery2k/aftery2kmain.html |
| I think it would be great to hear Debbie's story about why she picked you, and why geeks are great partners. Perhaps she could write an addition to this story giving geek guys and girls some insight? btw, Debbie is always welcome in #aftery2k :) |
| The balls in your court. (Score:1) by MartyJG on Monday October 25, @08:04AM EST (#629) (User Info) http://screem.org |
| Come on then Nitrozac. You've got the geek-cred it takes to write the other side of this. How about an article for the 'geek girls' to get decent blokes? Roblimo's article said they weren't the best thing for geeks, what should they be looking for then? Either way, Debbie can appear in your strip anytime - you have the POWER! \\//MJG. |
| Enough the propaganda already! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:23PM EST (#96) |
| Why must we be subjected to an endless on-slaught of articles about disaffected het white male hackers looking for booty? Why don't you get someone on your editorial board who is anything different than you? Got any women? How about married men? Any gay people? Heck, how about any colored people? I don't happen to believe that "geeks" must be het white male single hacker types. These articles lately have been painfully adolescent and painfully main-stream. Can't you do better than that? |
| Re:Enough the propaganda already! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:24PM EST (#188) |
| If you want these things, go create your own site. |
| Re:Enough the propaganda already! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:27PM EST (#196) |
| Don't be silly. There is nothing in that commentary that particularly addresses white folks. Sure, it's mainstream and middle-class, but that's the bulk of the audience. It's good advice whether you're African-American, Latino, Asian, or more white-bread than Wheel-Of-Fortune. Not only that, the same advice applies whatever your gender or sexual orientation (given appropriate modifications in the gender-specific terminology). In short, get over it. |
| just kill yourself (Score:1) by Crow- on Sunday October 24, @01:47PM EST (#222) (User Info) |
| You fucking hypocrite, you can take this PC propaganda and stick it up your ass. So are you suggesting that slashdot should just go around and say "hey, we need a gay editor! oh! we need a black editor too, and we need an editor that has hair-loss problems, oh and we need an asian editor!" its not your fucking website, if you dont like it dont fucking read it. Why is it that there is a tv channel called "Black Entertainment Television", but if there were to be one called "White Entertainment Television" it would be slammed with a lawsuit so quick it woulnd't even be funny. |
| Re:just kill yourself (Score:1) by fidel (mhummel@pcug^SPAM.org.au) on Sunday October 24, @11:33PM EST (#526) (User Info) |
| Well, the ideal appointee for editor is a "black welsh women disabled trade unionist" for editor, you don't know any do you? |
| Why don't you write one? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:50PM EST (#225) |
| These articles arn't mainstream because of some white male conspiracy (tm) or anything of the like. If you find these articles "adolescent and painfully main-stream" (which I admit they often are), why don't you write one? |
| Re:Enough the propaganda already! (Score:1) by CrayDrygu on Sunday October 24, @10:39PM EST (#504) (User Info) |
Why don't you get someone on your editorial board who is anything different than you? Got any women? How about married men? Any gay people? Heck, how about any colored people? Two things before I type up the rest of this, just so you know where I'm coming from. One: I'm gay. Two: I don't claim to speak for all gay geeks. Having said that, I can see where you're coming from... but you need to lay off. Would you like to know why they don't get any black/married/gay/man-hating-Lesbian-Avenger-asian-goth-perl-coders? Because they don't apply for the position. Seriously. I've heard of companies who will hire the underqualified black man over the white man who's perfect for the job, just so they can be politically correct. You don't hear about it often, but it does happen. I found a quote once that nicely sums up how I feel about this. "Sometimes it's important to offend people." Before you go around spouting the p-word (propaganda), think seriously about the issue at hand. Think about target audiences. You may as well ask why doesn't Playboy have articles geared towards lesbians, or why doesn't PC Gamer have articles on the latest console systems. Sure they may be of interest to some of the readers -- but it's not the target audience. "Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?" -- Scarecrow, from the Wizard of Oz |
| Flowers (Score:1) by nuggz on Sunday October 24, @12:30PM EST (#103) (User Info) |
| You forgot flowers. Yes they really do work Don't use roses too quickly, but use fun flowers after a while, do it when she is having a rough day. |
| Re:Flowers (Score:1) by matts.nu on Monday October 25, @06:09AM EST (#616) (User Info) http://www.matts.nu |
| Roses can work great early too. I found a girl on kiss.com (yes, I spend more time online than offline) that I started writing letters to. Of course, a girl putting up an ad saying "single attractive female looking for long term relationship" gets mail bombed. I sent her some roses and a 200 pieces box of chocolate as well. The same day she wrote back to me asking when I would come over! :-) |
| Lay of the stupid computer analogies already! (Score:2) by grappler (thegrappler@DIE_SPAMMERS.usa.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:32PM EST (#107) (User Info) |
| We are not so one-sided (well, I know I'm not...) that we need these things explained to us in computer terms. I mean, "women have HOWTOs"??? Come on. I guess for people like you most of this is sound advice, but I know geeks and geek girls that get along GREAT together. And it's not about being able to discuss computer hardware with them. It's about not having to always dumb it down by talking about the latest gossip and fashions each day. Smart people often like to just throw around ideas recklessly, making for some very unusual conversations. I know a guy who is a smart computer person, and has a girlfriend who is also a smart computer person. They hardly ever talk about computers. They talk about everything from time travel and astrophysics to the intricacies in the etiquete for calling shotgun. The difference is that their conversation takes place at a much higher level than a typical husband and wife conversation. To outsiders it sounds downright weird, but that's what happens when two people hit the same wavelength. -- grappler #include <std_disclaimer.h> |
| Re:Lay of the stupid computer analogies already! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:39PM EST (#215) |
Amen! Two points I'd like to add:
|
| I hope this is a joke... (Score:4, Interesting) by The Finn on Sunday October 24, @12:32PM EST (#108) (User Info) |
It's like women are not even people to the author... just some kind of ``pleasure automata'' to serve, not dissimilar to those computers which give so much satisfaction. A few choice quotes: We need what are now called "old fashioned girls" who don't mind cooking our meals, rubbing our sore shoulders, and running our bath water for us. ``I want a wife who'll give me a blowjob, rub my feet, and have dinner ready for me when I get home from a long day of hacking. I'd like a wife who is my personal slave, because, hey, that's all marriage really is.'' Re Hot Babes:[...]I generally found them to be more trouble than they were worth. [...]The trick is to find a woman who doesn't spend a lot of time and money cuting herself up, but is pleasant to hold once all the packaging is removed. She'll be more likely to want some cuddling than the vain ones, and, unlike them, will concentrate on loving you instead of worrying about getting her hair messed up. [...]The best software usually doesn't come in the fanciest box, right? The same goes for girls. How's that for a big sweeping generalization, (All glamorous women ``aren't worth it,'') coupled with objectification. (Women == software.) And if the girl finds you unattractive, she'll let you know that, too (so you can dump her before you get too serious). Yeah, because really the issue here is how male geeks can get chicks without changing any aspect of themselves! Obviously our author can't think outside of his box... Understanding women is harder than figuring out the hardest computer game, harder even than setting up a secure 200-client network running *BSD. But women can offer more satisfaction than even an overclocked, dual-Celeron workstation, so learning how to deal with them is worth the extra effort. ``But you know, no woman would stand a chance of giving the same satisfaction as running a beowulf cluster,'' as if women and computers are even remotely comparable in some way. [M]y wife likes to redecorate frequently, which sometimes annoys me, but I've learned to shrug my shoulders and call this part of her personality a feature, not a bug[.] ``In fact, I originally though about GPLing our marriage, but wasn't too fond of the free distribution clause, so settled on a proprietary fork of BSD.''
The primary trouble with geeks meeting people is not so much any misunderstandings of social etiquette and (possibly lack of) associated skills, but the unwillingness to stop thinking of the external world in terms of a computer-related mindset. The above article does nothing to persuade its readers to move beyond the ``all the world's a computer and we are but its processes'' mentality, yet ditching such a fixed and limited schema is imperative not only for meeting other people who don't share such a schema, but for personal growth and maturation. People (including women) aren't automata, there's no ``system'' for ``getting'' them, and instead of analyzing people and trying to find the perfect one, analyze yourself and change into the person who will attract people you're interested in. There's much more to life than computers and /. |
| Re:I hope this is a joke... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:48PM EST (#134) |
| re: joke: it probably is. It's got the foot icon, after all... How's that for a big sweeping generalization, (All glamorous women ``aren't worth it,'') coupled with objectification. (Women == software.) Ahem, humans == software. Er, alright, most likely firmware, still, though... |
| Re:I hope this is a joke... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:02PM EST (#153) |
| Anyone who claims that either women or men are not, to a certain extent, predictable is simply blowing smoke. People are predictable. If you hurt them, they will be unhappy. If you make them happy, they will be inclined to like you. It really is that simple. Furthermore, the advice given is very good, though perhaps it is worth refining a few points: Don't waste your time on women who are going to be more interested in themselves than in your relationship. Find someone who will make your life more enjoyable and social, not someone who will increase your solitude by spending all of their time tied to a computer. Find someone who complements you. If you like to clean the house, find someone who likes to pay the bills. If you don't like to shop, find someone who will be happy taking care of those material needs. Most of all, find someone who will be interested in making you happy and make them happy. The shoulder-rub thing is perfectly reasonable, but not if it's one-sided. |
| Well, actually.... (Score:1) by Evil Poot Cat ($mikep=@avana[0].net) on Monday October 25, @07:14AM EST (#622) (User Info) |
| ...a blow job after a long day in the office is a good thing, although I'd suggest going with the shoulder rub first. :) Keep in mind, the assumptions made in the article are towards the men and their habits, not the women. So breathe. ____________________________ Don't think you are, know you are. |
| Trash (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:33PM EST (#111) |
| I'm more than a little disappointed this article showed up on /. -- if I want poor, generic dating advice, there are plenty of pathetic mens magazines that more than cover the bases. This entire article just as moronic as any I've ever read on the subject. Even forgetting the idiotic "I needsa woman who'll cook mah meals and rub mah back" line, and the elusive secret "Go up and talk to them - don't act like a complete idiot, and you'll KNOW how its going", the rest of this is trash. Grouping "geeks" into a category that need "this and this" trait in a significant other is completely, utterly stupid. The entire thing is so ridiculous I really can't be bothered to write anymore about it. Lets leave the dating advice columns to their respective trash mens/womens magazines. |
| Look. (Score:4, Insightful) by Fastolfe (david@fastolfe.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:34PM EST (#113) (User Info) http://fastolfe.net/ |
| I'm seeing a lot of posts here that I think are a but unfair against the author. Just because he's touting this as advice for the "Lovelorn Geek" does not mean all lovelorn geeks are his target audience. Naturally each and every "geek" will have his own level of social abilities and may or may not need any of this advice. Figure it out. Some of his advice did sound a bit "old school" or un-PC to some of you, but face it: there are both men and women out there who would be perfectly happy in such a relationship. They're not trying to oppress feminism, they're just trying to get into a "traditional" relationship, which may have been the way they've been raised. Personally, that isn't me, but the advice STILL APPLIES. I've sought and dated a couple of "geek" girls in my time, and I doubt that I would intentionally seek out another. It's not that we didn't get along great or didn't have a good time while we were together, but these women didn't *challenge* me in the ways I wanted to be challenged. Now, I'm not saying that there *aren't* geek girls out there who can still geek it up but have an immensely healty appetite in other things, but in my experience a person tends to only have one major hobby, and if computers are it, computers are it. When you put two of these types geeks together in the same place for the rest of their lives, you (as a pair) tend to lack any desire to do anything else but geek. Find a woman that's your *complement*, not your *supplement*. Nobody's perfect, and if you can find a partner that is strong in the areas you are weak, and you can accept and love each other despite (or by way of) those inconsistencies, together you can do anything. THAT's the kind of relationship I want, and his advice applies. |
| Dating culture (Score:1) by aUser on Sunday October 24, @12:35PM EST (#114) (User Info) |
| The very last thing you can say to a new employer, is what you really want: to make good, good money. And the very last thing you can say to a woman you're trying to seduce, is what you really want: to get her in your bed. I think of culture as the commonly accepted answers to these contradictions. Culture seems to be a set of standardised lies that you are expected to apply in well-defined situations. Women emancipation has brought a number of new standardised lies, like: we want them to be equal to us; we will do the cooking too. If I have to, I will apply the appropriate standardised lie to the pre-defined situation. However, the more my disposable income grows, the less I seem to be inclined to do so. What's more, I need to do it less and less. In situations in which I used to accommodate, I tell people more often to f*ck off. If there's one thing good about being a geek, it is that there's a lot of money in technology. |
| Re:Dating culture (Score:1) by Danny Rathjens (dkr@cs.fiu.edu) on Sunday October 24, @10:00PM EST (#481) (User Info) |
| And the very last thing you can say to a woman you're trying to seduce, is what you really want: to get her in your bed. I think of culture as the commonly accepted answers to these contradictions. Culture seems to be a set of standardised lies that you are expected to apply in well-defined situations. Maybe I am just rationalizing my own introversion/prudishness/shyness but this inherent dishonesty in our culture is one of the primary reasons I can't even approach a girl. It seems too dishonest to me to say, 'Want to see a movie with me?' but it also seems too forward or rude to say, 'Will you spend some time with me so that we can find out if we are perfect for each other?' -- Truth decays into beauty, while beauty soon becomes merely charm. Charm ends up as strangeness, and even that doesn't last, but up and down are forever. |
| You got it ALL WRONG. PCness won't get you laid! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:32AM EST (#638) |
The very last thing you can say to a new employer, is what you really want: to make good, good money. And the very last thing you can say to a woman you're trying to seduce, is what you really want: to get her in your bed. First of all, your analogy. Second, you're even wrong with the employer part! Ever heard of STOCK OPTIONS? The message is: I WANT TO MAKE SHITLOADS OF MONEY, so I'll do my best to make YOUR company succeed so that its stock rises and *WE* both get richer! With women? It's different. You don't want to convey DESPERATENESS. You want to convey DESIRE. "I want you because I find you attractive" is a good, positive paradigm -- it is flattering! The WRONG paradigm is "I want you because I have nothing else to fuck", which is what most geeks convey when they get hold of a woman. |
| Getting Girls the Mo B. Dick way!!!!! (Score:0, Troll) by Mo B. Dick (doggystyle@shakur.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:35PM EST (#117) (User Info) http://www.hitemup.com/ |
| I go up to tha ho's and tell it like I'm on one of those old Milk comercials!!! I say, "ho, sure I'm only 17 and clocking minor figures right now, but I'm going to be a system administrator, and I'm going to have a lot of money, so have sex with me now, and when I'm pushing tha Bentleys down the streets, I might just hit you up wit my celly!!!!!" And thats on tha real!!!!!! Mo B. Dick out of here! Peace! |
| My two cents or so. (Score:1) by gnarphlager on Sunday October 24, @12:36PM EST (#119) (User Info) |
| I suppose I come from a slightly different perspective; all of my friends are girls (well, 90% of them anyway). It's been that way since I was 6. I think it's mostly because a) I really am a nice guy and b) it's alot easier to tolerate behaviour that you don't agree with in someone of the opposite sex (subconsicously, you feel behaviours from same sex friends are projected upon you from outsiders and so on . . . ) So naturally, I seek out geek girls, just to have something to relate to. Sure, opposites attract, but if you don't share ANY interests, then it gets real boring real quick. I've had very few relationships in my life. Most of them failed, but not because of anything I did (shallow girls who weren't happy with who I am). My current relationship IS working out. And yes, it started out as friends. And yes, she's a geek, and VERY attractive. Oh, and like myself she's also a musician. There's always something we like doing that we can do together. My advice? Don't look for a girlfriend, look for a friend. And have high standards. There's nothing wrong with liking yourself, and one day you WILL meet someone who you feel you "deserve". You'll spend alot of time lonely, but it will be worth it. And most importantly, be happy being single. You don't NEED a girlfriend. Once you accept that, you'll be more relaxed and prepared, and won't be so urgent and needy when the situation arises. Of course, to make new friends you do need to occasionally leave the house. Unfortunately for me, the one day I do per month is not the one day the geeks around here do ;-) |
| Janet and Isaac Asimov? (Score:1) by sumana (sumanah@uclink4.berkeley.edu) on Sunday October 24, @12:40PM EST (#125) (User Info) |
| By the way, maybe we DO need people who understand what we do -- by doing it. Intense creative people sometimes marry other intense creative people. Isaac and Janet Asimov -- an example. Others?
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| That gives me a point to live !! (Score:1) by Manifest (manifest(NO_SPAM)@mad.scientist.com) on Sunday October 24, @12:40PM EST (#126) (User Info) |
| At the age of 20, having never dated a girl, just two days before the stupid Data Communcation Exams, this article is a real life saver for me ! Thanx Roblimo for giving me hope.. even though it might be a false one ! Manifest • Buggiest OS ? Life • |
| In Defense Of Geek Girls (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:42PM EST (#127) |
| As a 22 year old programmer who has dated models, cheerleaders, underaged girls, much older girls... I have had the best success with the Geek Girl. The Geek Girl understands much of my motivation and doesn't mind when I spend a saturday running Cat-5 wire in the hallway. And having two Geeks means having two Geek-sized incomes, which is pretty comfortable too. And you can speak your own language to the Geek and not have to dumb it down. Geek Girls are Groovy! |
| Sounds like Roblimo has the mail order wife (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:46PM EST (#129) |
| Where did you get your wife from, one of those catalogs? this is a quite questionable piece of sexist semi-journalism. |
| Nominated to the /. Hall of Fame (Score:1) by beulah (beulah@x-spamIamnot.forgetit.ibm.net) on Sunday October 24, @12:47PM EST (#131) (User Info) http://slashdot.org/ |
| This is one of the best posts to /. ever. I nominate the existence of a /. post Hall of Fame, and I nominate this to be entered into it. I see some criticisms of the article. They seem to fall into 2 categories. (1) that geek girls are good, too, and (2) this article doesn't apply to me. Dude, the article applies. If you are young and think it doesn't, then realize the speaker is older and experienced. Youth is good in technology obviously, but this isn't technology. Also, the speaker never addresses the possibility of geek girls, leaving that option viable. Regards. |
| women posting on slashdot are... (Score:1) by SKicker on Sunday October 24, @12:47PM EST (#132) (User Info) http://members.xoom.com/SKicker |
| ...predictable in their responses to a comedy wind up about 'how to get women' but thats by-the-by... The sad part is that a lot of lonely men reading slashdot are... ... seriously taking notes from this article, probably on their palm pilots, with intent to put them into practice, probably more out of intrigue that something could be more satisfying than a dual celeron workstation than anything else. |
| Corn, cheese, and associated food related stuff. (Score:1) by Steevil (steevil@steevilsystems.co.uk) on Sunday October 24, @12:48PM EST (#135) (User Info) http://www.steevilsystems.co.uk/ |
| Personally I've never had trouble with women, and therefore having never got into this kind of conversation, I would very much like someone to please tell me that guys who have trouble dont really talk like this! -Steevil |
| Re:Corn, cheese, and associated food related stuff (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:15PM EST (#175) |
| Not only do guys who have trouble talk like this (meaning in the vein of the article), but women also talk like this. The difference is that women talk about this subject far more often. Naturally, the female IT majors who don't realize they aren't geek-girls in the sense of this commentary feel they are being discarded. They are not. It is the 5% (or less) of the Computer Science or Engineering majors who are female who are being discarded in this article. However, the same advice applies to them but s/girl/boy/g and vice versa as appropriate. |
| New Scientist about dating.... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:52PM EST (#140) |
| This is a very funny article from New Scientist about "Science Connection", a dating-club for scientists...... http://www.newscientist.com/ns/980725/sciconnect.html |
| Well put! Just one more bit of advice... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:52PM EST (#141) |
| The most important thing, even more important than all the very good advice above, is the following: Make yourself available! It's impossible to meet people while you are face-to-face with a computer. You need to be face-to-face with people. Go shopping. Go volunteer at a children's hospital (not just a good place to do good deeds, also a good place to meet other nice single adults.) Join a volleyball league; even if you suck at volleyball you'll meet people. Take dance classes. Or even just go for a walk in the town park every week. Whatever you do to meet people, do it regularly. Often, people who don't seem to notice you initially will find you intriguing after they've seen you a few times (and vice versa). Good luck, everyone! |
| Love..... (Score:1) by SPiKe on Sunday October 24, @12:55PM EST (#143) (User Info) |
| I am lucky to have a girl that loves me no matter what.... After being together for three years, good times and bad times, losing common interests and finally regaining them, and going through the turbulent teenage years (we were 16 and 15 when we met), I still have a wonderful girl that supports me but gives me my space. She's stuck with me when I was a punk rock kid moving from house to house because my parents couldn't/wouldn't support me after getting off the streets, she's stuck with me through the beginning of my career and she's even suffered through my crazy times when all I could do was take out the stress of playing out of my league at work (somehow, being young AND having large reposnsibilities makes you a target at work sometimes) on the people I love the most. She's learned to respect my space with work and side projects. I've learned how not to become so aloof and how to be closer to her and others. Most importantly, we have things we work on together, completely unrelated to what we do at work/what we're going to school for. All I've ever had to do with her is just be myself. That's part of what the author was saying.... just be yourself! And the person who is right for you will find you. You will find each other. When you look so hard, you tend to overlook those people. It's extremely beautiful. We laugh together, we cry together, we share with others together, we dance together... we stare at the stars together and dream common dreams. I know this is mushy and stuph, but I am extremely happy I'm still with this girl. I know I'll get some skeptics, but we've already weathered the "you two are too different" and the "you are just being young and foolish" comments. We've gone through our parents trying too keep us seperated. I think there's someone for everybody. I know so, because the more deeply I love (not just her, but in my life) the more I see it happenng with others. My aunt told me "Your eyes will meet, you look at each other, and you'll know it, conciously or subconciously". And there's nothing that can stop you fro finding each other than yourself. |
| The "Geek dancer" syndrome (Score:1) by coats on Sunday October 24, @12:56PM EST (#144) (User Info) |
There is a behavior/personality-transformation syndrome frequent enough that it has received quite a bit of commentary within the swing-dance and ballroom-dance communities. It's worth thinking about, to some of you guys and gals (it's been observed in both sexes, though more frequently among guys and more dramatically among gals): X is a geek. X is not the most comfortable at interactions with the opposite sex (more bluntly, X is terrified of them). X is most probably not athletic, may be middling musical, and is very good at applying focus and intelligence at matters X finds important.Quite a number of the nationally recognized "dance gods" and "dance goddesses" fit this syndrome, in fact (particularly in the swing community. And I've seen it happen many times, with X's of both sexes. (There's one female engineer I know at a local university who has transformed from "pure geek" to "drop-dead gorgeous" this way -- while retaining (enhancing, actually) a really pleasant personality.) It's worth trying. Disclaimer: I'm one of those X's myself, for that matter :-)
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| Re:The "Geek dancer" syndrome (Score:1) by mstra (matt-at-mattstratton-dot-com) on Monday October 25, @05:30PM EST (#706) (User Info) http://www.mattstratton.com |
| I must admit...I'd not really noticed this, until reading your post - now, I think about my swing dancing friends...and realize that quite a few of them may fall into this category. I know that excellence at the Lindy Hop has certainly increased one of my friend's confidence towards the opposite sex by a factor of at least a thousand. Looking back...I see that since taking up swing dancing, my two friends and have certainly "upgraded" in terms of the women that we date - of course, the fact that over the same timeframe we have advanced in our careers and are making more money may have something to do with it. Another factor - one of the reasons that I really enjoy the swing scene is the general friendliness - if one is out in a "bump and grind" style dance club, asking a girl to dance certainly has underlying meaning - usually the meaning is "Hey, I think you appear physically attractive - I'd like to rub my body against yours, ply you with liquor, and take you home and score." In a swing club, however...if I ask a girl to dance, I more likely mean "Hey, I saw you dancing during that last song and wow, cool moves. I'd certainly like to dance with you - your cool moves combined with mine will make us both look good. Plus maybe I can learn something from you. At the very least it will be fun. And when we are done, I will shake your hand and maybe we'll dance again later." The point is...in a club like that, the social interaction is much more casual - not nearly as much pressure, which makes it easier to be relaxed and not a bundle of nerves. Hrm. Geekswing. Interesting. m. Matt Stratton SCSI is *not* magic. There are *fundamentally technical reasons* why you should sacrifice a small goat to your SCSI chain every now and again. |
| Ummm, please (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:57PM EST (#146) |
| I hate to remind you of this, but when you make wide sweeping generialsation(sp?) it is called a STEREOTYPE ! It is unfair to make assumtions upon a certian sex, this is called SEXISM. If you compaired geek girls to geek guys, the geek girls are a bargain. If you consiter geek guys are : self obsesed, have no sence of time, egocentric, un-socialiable, and have no life out side their computers. Where as, all geek girls are just suposedly get in the with geek-guys. Is any one offened by that? Non-geeks usually make unflattering gernralians about geeks. That eather they are all evil, and are breaking in to banks, millitary, or other sensitve computer. Or, are losers who lives are centered around their computers. Why sould we start to stereotype certain geeks becuase they are a certain sex? |
| Re:Ummm, please (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @08:21PM EST (#443) |
| OOOOOOH NO! Do you think spouting off those PC words mean anything? Now go fuck off you PC drone. |
| I couldn't disagree more (Score:4, Insightful) by mouseman on Sunday October 24, @12:59PM EST (#150) (User Info) http://www.wordbot.com/keith/ |
Don't Waste Your Time on Geek Girls I'm married to a geek (my wife and I are both CS PhDs), and I couldn't be happier. I know many other such couples who are also happy. It is not a question of whether she uses computers, but whether she's on the same wavelength as you. Do you enjoy the same books? Can you hold each other's interest in conversation? Do you get the same jokes? Do you like the same friends? Having a close intellectual relationship, along with a close emotional relationship, can be very fulfilling. I also find that my wife is more understanding when I do something a non-geek would consider just too wierd, like staying up until dawn hacking or playing with some new toy. She understands, 'cause she's been there. I find that my wife is more understanding when I do something a non-geek would consider just too wierd, like staying up until dawn hacking or playing with some new toy. She understands, 'cause she's been there. We cut each other some slack, 'cause we recognize when the other person is in that place. Also, we hack together. Each of us spends more time at the computer than a non-geek partner would consider reasonable, but since we have two linux boxes and DSL, there's no resource conflict, so what's the problem?
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| Re:I couldn't disagree more (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:37PM EST (#211) |
| Right on! - A semi-geek (M.Sc. computer science) guy married to a very intelligent woman |
| Ah! thank you! (Score:1) by chialea (chialea@hotmail.com) on Monday October 25, @02:13AM EST (#576) (User Info) http://169.229.85.118/ |
| very nice. I posted a top 10 list of dangerous ideas (it's in response to Roblimo's message, which has been conveniently been moderated up, so it should be easy to find) which is something like this (although a lot longer) also, thank you for using the "correct" (read: non-offensive) definition of the word "feminist". it's amazing how many people misinterpret it, including my sister. "I don't hate men, so I'm not a feminist". social progress in action! Lea |
| So...geek == selfish, insensitive, undependable? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:04PM EST (#156) |
| > A woman just like you wouldn't be there for you > when you wanted a hug. She'd be obsessively > coding or posting on Slashdot herself, and would > brush you off when you needed her. If this description fits a "woman just like you" then, uh, why on earth would *anyone* be interested in you? Either the target readership of this article is not as good at logical thought as one would expect, or else they're too selfish and insensitive to notice that they're selfish and insensitive! I wonder what the writer's wife thinks when she's "brushed off"? |
| Opposites attract? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @06:00AM EST (#613) |
| It could also be argued that opposites attract. |
| Oh god... this is ugly. (Score:1) by np-complete (erua15@holyrood.ed.ac.uk) on Sunday October 24, @01:04PM EST (#157) (User Info) |
What is this doing here..? I mean, how many of us really want to read this kind of patronising, saccharine, gooey guff ? I keep getting deeply unpleasant mental images of rob setting a collective slashdot (is there a word for that?) on his knee, and with a glint in his eye That in itself wouldn't be so bad, if it weren't for some of the truly pathetic stories which accumulate in the comments, which plumb even lower depths of self-absorbed, slushy platitude than even robs post. Add to this the wholly unwelcome firefight from the PC police... first of all, can I strongly suggest that you all take time to realise the subtleties of the english language, particularly such phenomena as jokes, sarcasm, and irony. It will reap you no end of reward, and you'll even find yourself able to follow British comedies. Marvellous. anyways, aside from what was pretty obviously a joke at the start, the PC brigade would doubtless whine that there is evidence of sexism elsewhere, etc, etc. Well, if you look hard enough, then there is. But then these are probably the same sorts of people who would whine if you had a goto in your code which could be avoided with fifteen extra lines and about 5 different flags. Can I really be arsed carefully phrasing my words to ensure no hint of bias could possibly, rightly or wrongly, be inferred from my statement ? I think not. That said, watching "romantic" types and the politically correct trying to sanitise physical attraction to their own ends can be endlessly funny. one talks as if all events, qualities physical and mental, surroundings, and forces converge at some objective aesthetic pinnacle... the other tries to sanitise it completely, vainly attempting to suppress anything so prejudiced as base physical attraction. Dispel any hopes for a quick synthesis, this'll be a long one. NP
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| Different People, Different Lovers. (Score:1) by j.e.hahn on Sunday October 24, @01:06PM EST (#159) (User Info) |
| I think Robin's only mistake here is assuming that we all want the same thing. It's a beautiful theory, but completely false. While the above worked for him, it won't necessarily work for anyone else. Don't get me wrong. Some of his ideas make sense! Not ignoring the "popular" girls is good advice. But here's where Robin goes wrong (and right):
Other than that, I think Robin hit a lot of good points. I think, probably, it could have been said better, but that's easy for me to say. I didn't write a feature. |
| They're Definately Complicated (Score:1) by connorps on Sunday October 24, @01:06PM EST (#160) (User Info) |
| I made that mistake of trying to understand and fix them, oh what a head trip. If they have serious family or emotion problems what ever you do don't get involved until they have seeked consiling and help them don't date them. |
| Mike got his prize well before Jessica her looks. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:08PM EST (#165) |
| quoting>At 18, Jessica suddenly changed. It was like a movie makeover. She got new glasses and the braces came off. She got a better wardrobe, her acne cleared up, and she stopped being stuck-up bout her academic achievements. And she grew ... breasts. She took longer than most to develop in the chest department, but the results were worth waiting for. You know the rest of the story. It was Mike all the way. I'd blown my chance by being a jerk. I still have a flat spot on my forehead from banging it against the wall over Jessica. posting>I loathe stories like these. How shallow to only care about her because she ended up with breasts!! It's like being ugly is only OK as long as it's temporary. Be nice to those you find unattractive because they might later become attractive? WHAT BULLSHIT! What if she was covered in scars that could not possibly fade over time. Then would it be OK to be a jerk? Most ugly ducklings grow up to be ugly ducks. What a world we live in that we have to lie to ourselves about this to trick ourselves into treating Jessica with a dignity we would normally only grant to Pamela Lee. My heart goes out to the Jessica's of the world who never lost their pride and never got their breasts. |
| Surely you jest (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:16PM EST (#178) |
| harder even than setting up a secure 200-client network running *BSD. One of the reasons *BSD's are used is because they are easier to configure and administer than the alternatives |
| A Woman's Perspective (Score:1) by Phyre (phyre@nospam.value.net) on Sunday October 24, @01:17PM EST (#179) (User Info) http://pwp.value.net/thehunters/phyre/ |
| You know, if you'd just assume that that attractive woman that's batting her eyes at you and snuggling up to you under the huge dome at the Palace of Fine Arts (with that nice, romantic music playing in the background...and that beautiful sunset over the lake) is actually flirting, you'd probably get a date in no time. No, I'm not kidding. This happened to me. I'd scoot closer to him on the bench, he'd scoot away to give me more room. I rested my head against his shoulder, he shifted positions uncomfortably, so I moved my head. After that evening, I was pretty sure he wasn't interested in me "in that way". So, two years, and an emotionally draining relationship with a different guy later, I find out that he was actually interested! He just wasn't sure how I felt, so he didn't do/say anything. When I had put my head on his shoulder, and he shifted, he was actually moving a little so he could raise his arm to put it around me. When I moved my head, he backed off. AAARGH! Anyway, we've been going out for a little less than a year, and it's probably the most emotionally healty relationship either of us has ever been in. So, if there's a girl who you'd kinda like to go out with, ASK HER!!! Save her from emotionally nasty relationships with other guys that she might get into. You're doing HER a favor!!! --- Phyre |
| Female Perspective (Score:1) by juno on Sunday October 24, @01:18PM EST (#180) (User Info) |
| My two cents as a Geek Female: Most of this is reasonably on target, but also blindingly obvious. Of course one shouldn't go after an airbrushed model, nor any other woman that society places on a pedestal because of her looks. We are not objects of worship, nor do we wish to be identified for the prestige we bring you by our looks. Image is only that, and makes no guarantee of compatibility. As a woman who fits many of the social ideals for physical attractiveness, I grow tired of being pursued by men who think it will boost their self esteem to have me, a trophy girlfried, on their arm. I made that mistake once-- I dated a model who was absolutely gorgeous and quite sweet, but completely uncompatible because I was in it ultimately for the prestige points. And, of course, one should not be outwarldly rude or scornful to women who are not attractive-- it's uncivilized and speaks ill of one. I'd say you really missed the boat in recommending that Geek Females not be pursued. Who will understand you better than one of us? Who other than us will sympathize more with your love for sexy technologies, for the trancendental mindset of coding binges? We will not grow jealous of your work, because it is our work also, and by the same token, we are not inherently in competition with you. We can seperate our work from your work. Of course, romantic involvement is a matter of personal taste. I've dated Geek Men, Non-Geek Men, and Non-Geek Women, and objectively I'd say that nerds make the all-around best partners. Maybe it's because they appreciate romantic involvement more, maybe it's because they're often closet sensualists, but mostly I think it's that they don't get jealous of the time and energy I put into my work. If you want someone who will do your laundry and cook for you, listen sweetly while you talk about your day at work but not understand a word of it, then so be it. To me, thought, that's not an equal partnership, and anything less than an equal partnership is not worth my time. ---- I'm going to lead you, kicking and screaming, Giggling and laughing, into the future |
| The rule is there are no rules (Score:1) by Allnighterking (lostinkorea@rocketmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:20PM EST (#182) (User Info) |
| Reading this article as well as some of the grossly underaged comments that follow a few things come to mind. The rules for finding a life partner are the same regardless of your sexual persuasion. I have a wife and one of my best friends has a "life partner" duh ... it doesn't matter who your other is, treating them with respect does. Sex is easy love is hard. The secret to getting laid is not trying to get laid. Seriously, if you're constantly trying to fsck her, all of her defenses are up and in place. Even he she wants t fsck you! It's automatic on her part. Try to make a friend, smile, make her laugh, be a gentlemen. That "Makin Bacon" T-shirt may be all the rage in the cyber cafe but not with her. Don't try to prove your smart. If you are she'll/he'll know, nothing is more boring than a know it all. So don't, you might find out that she/he can teach you a lot about what she/he knows. Her/His favorite subject is themselves just as yours is you. Talk about that for a while. If you want to be listened too, learn to listen. There is no "one person for me" If you think about it there is a one type of person, but not one person for anyone. Love and passion get you through the honeymoon. Affection lasts a lifetime (old Sicilian proverb or at least I learned this from an old Sicilian) Gifts for no reason are great but if your partner seems to only respond when you buy them a gift ..... GET A NEW PARTNER! If you need to buy love it's cheaper in the red light district. (and they at least know when to go home) If he/she splits on you.... so what! Analyze and correct your mistakes, get off your duff and try again. 24 hours is mourning, 48 hrs is boring. Be on time, Being late says you don't care. Buy a freaking watch. Don't judge the book by it's cover, in short you'll be amazed what you find under some of those ugly clothes out there. I've been extremely suprised on a number of occasions. Stop planning and just do it. News groups don't have the answers, chat rooms might be fun, but face to face is the only way it's gonna work, period. Ok so much for my soap box but I guess this is a subject that can naturally get soapy Speaking of which I wonder if my wife needs a shower (hehe) |
| What little credibility roblimo had is lost (Score:1) by Ciannait (ciannait@userUNfriendly.org) on Sunday October 24, @01:20PM EST (#183) (User Info) http://userfriendly.org |
| Geek boys absolutely need geek girls. Who else is going to understand when geek boy (or girl, for that matter) goes on a weekend binge of programming or playing Age of Kings? Your "old-fashioned" (*gag*) girl is going to spend that weekend whining about how she wants to go out dancing and why doesn't he get off that damned computer and that he never pays attention to her. Geek boys and geek girls are made for one another. Geek girls are out there. Treat them like worthwhile human beings and they might even go out with you. :) "During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I was riding the pogostick." --Remove UN to email-- |
| true for most of us geeks (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:22PM EST (#185) |
| Well said articles. I really relate a lot to the article. I'm still alone in this world. Having problems getting along with women too because I spend most of my time in front of the monitor when am not in school. For those flamers, of course, this doesn't apply to all thos people with high-tech jobs, this apply to most hardcore geeks out there. An for those who misunderstood "who don't mind cooking our meals, rubbing our sore shoulders, and running our bath water for us" isn't really about making a woman your slave or a maid or something like that, but I think what is meant by that is that women should understand and satisfy the needs of men. And same thing goes for men, they should also understand satisfy the needs of women. I hope I can apply these things in real life. Oh well. |
| The Magic Rules (Score:1) by MoodyLoner (mundstox at value dot net) on Sunday October 24, @01:22PM EST (#186) (User Info) |
| Well, Rob, much as I agree with some of what you said (particularly "women are more complicated than computers"), in my experience the magic rules can be summed up fairly easily. There are no magic rules. This, of course, is for the edification of the lonely geek guys who didn't notice the foot logo and are poring desperately through the responses looking for some way to meet someone to play Quake with on Friday nights. To be fair, there may also be geek grrlz poring through this desperately trying to find out how to get him to do something besides Quake, or get better at it at least, but I digress. I have had the amazing good fortune to have been married for six years to a lovely woman who shares many of my hobbies and interests (for the person who posted that you won't find a woman interested in RPG's, I will remember you with amusement during her Changeling game tonight. Again, I digress.) and, to this day I don't know why. We are all unique individuals. There are no hard and fast rules for dealing with the opposite gender (well, besides Try not to spit but who knows, there may be someone out there who finds that attractive. Again, I digress) that will magically endow you with the ability to attract and keep your dream significant other. It won't happen easily. Instead of easy rules, there are hard choices. On the bright side, if somebody who is so fscked up about his past that after six years of marriage he still calls himself MoodyLoner can find someone, you can too. |
| what to look for in a woman (Score:1) by wutang (wutang@bigw.org) on Sunday October 24, @01:24PM EST (#189) (User Info) http://wutang.bigw.org |
| resolution, baby! don't let the twinkle in her eye get aliased out! all my women are at least 1600x1200. -- The Wu Master |
| Think outside the box. (Score:3, Insightful) by Tackhead on Sunday October 24, @01:25PM EST (#191) (User Info) |
| Maybe you don't need anyone anyway. I'm currently living with my best friend. We've known each other for >10 years, and I've asked her out during that time, but she wasn't interested. She still ain't. Never will be. (You know the old saying, "if a woman don't sleep with you in the first 10 years, she probably never will?") Apart from the occasional hug of sympathy when Shit Happens, we've never laid a finger on each other. Certainly nothing sexual. Now that we've hung out for 10-odd years, I can see it's just as well - a year or so ago, she told me she wanted to have kids someday, something which I find horrific. (Hey geeks, if you think women are buggy, try kids! If your pet dog knocked things over everywhere it went, and spent two years pissing and shitting all over itself, and thought that puking on your shoulder was a nice way to say "hello", you'd probably have it put down! Somehow when sproggen do it, it's considered "cute". Sigh.) "So where's the sex?", I hear you cry. Gentlemen (and ladies, hey, these roles can just as easily be reversed), evolution provided you with all the equipment you require for orgasm. A hint: mix genitals and hands. Your built-in feedback system should take care of the rest. Back to my platonic friend, roommate, and for lack of a better term, love o' my life. Having her around has been a breath of fresh air. Someday she'll find Mr. Right and move on. But in the meantime, my rent's been cut in half, and I have a dinner companion whenever I want one. When the day comes that she moves on, I'll happily revert to bachelorhood. Happily? Yeah, happily. Fact is, there ain't too many women out there who don't want sprog, so the odds of me finding Ms. Right are pretty much nil. So I'm outa the gene pool. Big deal. Because of this, I can go to LAN parties, play Quake and Rainbow Six 'till all hours of the night, enjoy some smut when the urge strikes, and if I feel like "going caveman" and not bothering with showering or shaving for a 3-day coding binge, hey, so be it. Life is so hard. So let's see the suburban minivan-driving, it-seats-6-sproggen crowd top that for a lifestyle? "Sorry, we can't make it to the opera tonight, couldn't find a babysitter. Quake? It scares the kids when I turn the subwoofer on. Pr0n? I get the real thing from my wife... um, but only on her terms. Code? I remember coding all night for the hell of it. Once. Now every time I get deeply into a problem, I'm interrupted by a shriek that could shatter jello. Bratleigh wants the bottle again, either that or I'm gonna be up to my elbows in baby shit... again. But hey, at least I found a girl. I'm happy. Really." Want companionship? Someone to love? Find a good friend and make the most of it. Wanna fuck? Wanking is cheap, readily-available, and it's guilt-free. To put it another way - love and sex are the evolutionarily-developed bribes to make you go through the hassle of finding a partner and raising umpteen sprog to propagate your genes. But you're a homo sapiens, fer chrissakes. That's Latin for "thinking (wo)man". You've got a huge-ass brain. Why not use it to figure out a solution that gives you the joy of being with someone you love, the pleasure of all the sex you want, and the freedom that comes with not having sproggen? Where is it written that you have to sprog, and/or that you have to get your love and sex from the same source? If you can get 'em from the same source, great (and having a good friend is a good way to start anyways) - but don't worry if you can't. As a final note - for anyone who suggests that being childfree is somehow "immature" or "selfish", might I recommend the comics of Nina Paley? |
| Re:Think outside the box. (Score:2, Interesting) by crispy on Sunday October 24, @02:42PM EST (#267) (User Info) |
| I envy you. I really do. I wish I could just go through my life with out a wife. But after 13 years of taking care of things myself (my built-in feedback system kicked in at a very young age) I have realized that I do not need a woman for sex. But I do need one for love, companionship, cuddling, caring, etc. I haven't found it yet because as a geek I'm terrible with women. But I know that the time is rapidly approaching where I will have to start seeking a mate. Sure the sex will be nice but it's not what it's about. Sure I love the freedom of having tons of porn laying around, not bathing while in the grips of a 3-day coding binge, staying up all night writing code because I was on a roll and didn't want to forget what I was doing because I hadn't commented a single line of code (hehe), etc. But I would gladly give up those "freedoms" for the security of knowing that the woman laying next to me in bed every night loves me. That's just me. I understand what I need in life and so do you. We're just different. Nevertheless, I envy you. Best of luck. <SIG> I think I lost my work ethic while surfing the web. If you find it, please email it to crispy@crotch.caltech.edu. </SIG> |
| Re:Think outside the box. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @09:59PM EST (#480) |
| But I would gladly give up those "freedoms" for the security of knowing that the woman laying next to me in bed every night loves me. Exactly. |
| I wish more people thought that way (Score:1) by sreilly (sreilly-at-seanreilly.com) on Sunday October 24, @04:41PM EST (#340) (User Info) http://seanreilly.com/ |
| Amen brother. I have to say that I have found someone who is completely fantastic, and I envision myself staying with them forever. But I live right in the heart of suburbia and the types of families that I see every day just sickens me. It seems as if most people get married just because they think it's what they should do. Then when they have kids, their life becomes miserable. They then proceed to make their kids' lives miserable by yelling at them constantly. If they didn't want to deal with children, they shouldn't have had them in the first place! The family who lives across the street from me fits this description exactly. They never should have gotten married, and they absolutely *never* should have had children. On the other hand, I know people who are incredibly happily married, and who have children that they love and cherish. They would rather spend their time playing with their children than working late at the office. These people got married and had children for the right reasons. My point is, if you get married and have kids, you damn well better be sure that it's for the right reasons, not because "that's what you're supposed to do." There is absolutely nothing wrong with never getting married, and living the life of a bachelor(ette) forever. I think most people would even be happier that way. If I hadn't found my current girlfriend (of 5 years now), I would have no problem at all being single forever. |
| Well said (Score:1) by VonKruel on Sunday October 24, @05:31PM EST (#365) (User Info) |
| I found your comments very heartening. I haven't made a priority of finding a mate, because I know I wouldn't make a good partner. Why not? I spend most of my time "geeking out" and I'm not in a hurry to change my behavior. Kids? No way! I'd be a horrible father and it would really cramp my geek lifestyle. If I told a woman I'd make her my first priority, it would be a lie and we'd both pay for that lie eventually. There's a strong social pressure to find a mate. People tend to think that if you don't have a mate, then you must be horribly flawed in some way. Oh well - there's always a price for going against the grain. Later in life my interests may change, and I may try to find a woman who can tolerate me :-) People are often so keen to find a mate that they lie to themselves and/or their partner at the outset of a relationship. Neither person benefits from this in the long run. "Falling in love" is an irrational process anyway. At some early stage you decide "I am in *love* with this woman" and then you are willing to undertake any deception (and allow yourself to be deceived) in order to realize your romantic goal. Not being desperate for a relationship (and not rushing it) is probably the greatest key for finding a good, lasting one. |
| Re:Think outside the box. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:51PM EST (#403) |
| You don't sound very happy. It might be difficult for you to find a wife that will tollerate you having babies with someone else. It will be impossible for you to find anyone to make you happy while you live with that vampire of yours. Jerking off might get old. See if your roomate can tollerate some competition from (thanks cDC): www.realdoll.com |
| Re:Think outside the box. (Score:1) by PeeOnYou on Sunday October 24, @07:37PM EST (#425) (User Info) |
| Well, there's a perspective i've never seen this from. I kind of like it, though I somehow still feel the urge to get a girl... |
| You are messed up (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:43PM EST (#430) |
| I've seen it before, even been there myself. It is a kind of denial. You think that just having this woman around is good enough. It is all rationalization for unrequited love. By being with her, but not moving forward with an intimate relationship, you have a mental block that keeps you from starting anything new and healthier with someone else. You can be sure that this woman knows you've got a thing for her and she is definitely deriving benefit from it, meanwhile she's out dating and looking for something better. But all you get is false emotional sustenance. The only way out of such relationships is to break it off yourself. It is hard as a bitch to do, you feel lonely and dismal, like you've stabbed a huge sliver of ice into your own heart and it lasts for months. If you don't do it now, she'll do it when she finds someone else. Meanwhile you've wasted all the time not even being open to the possibility of starting a more fullfilling and healthy relationship with someone new. |
| Re:You are messed up (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:01PM EST (#511) |
| No, my situation is that I fit his description almost exactly, minus having that roommate. It is very possible to be happy alone-by-choice. Just becaues he happens to have a best-friend style roommate and just because she happens to be female, doesn't mean unrequited love enters the picture in any way. He says he's happy, you say he's "got a thing for her" and is in denial. How intersting that you feel you know him better than he knows himself. You say "Meanwhile you've wasted all the time" referring to the years he's been happy. What a strange way to assess someone else's life! |
| Re:You are messed up (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:32AM EST (#655) |
| He explicitly refers to her as his "love o' my life." That is the telling statement. I make no comment on being truly alone, that is another thing entirely. But living with this person is ultimately a draining experience. |
| Re:You are messed up (Score:1) by Tackhead on Monday October 25, @06:40PM EST (#710) (User Info) |
| Not that anyone's reading this thread anymore, but on the off chance that someone does... you'll also note that I used the phrase "for lack of a better term" in front of the reference. Sadly, the English language doesn't easily differentiate between "wannafuck-love" and "damngoodfriend-love". I grok where AC is coming from - under most circumstances, what he describes would be an easy trap to fall into - but I know the difference between loving her as a friend and pining after her as a mate. Both she and I have had relationships during the time we've known each other and I've never felt jealous about her relationships. (We've each found that another fringe benefit of having a DamnGoodFriend of the opposite sex is that you can generally get a straight answer on relationship questions because neither of you is trying to get the other into or out of bed.) And with her paying half the rent as long as we're rooming together, I'd hardly say I'm coming away empty-handed. (Read: "I got the dual overclocked Celeron not to save money, but because it was more fun to set up than buying the PII-450s!") I do wish she were into Quake, though. Pobody's nerfect. I'll be the first to admit that my lifestyle certainly isn't for everyone. (Imagine me finding Ms. Right and having to explain my "roommate" to her. Wasn't there a 70s sitcom that had this as a plot device? :-) The important point of my original posting, however - which got lost when I cluttered it with my example of an off-the-wall "solution" to the "lovelorn geek" problem - was really just to say that having no relationship is, at least for me, infinitely better than being in the wrong relationship. |
| Don't mix "child free" with "committment free" (Score:2) by RebornData (beto-no@spam-yall.org) on Sunday October 24, @08:54PM EST (#455) (User Info) |
| I take issue with the way you have grouped voluntary childlessness with a lot of other baggage from your preference for platonic relationships. My wife and I have been married for 5 child-free years. It's a mutual decision that we've never had a disagreement about. You've described a life where you have to make very few compromises- you game when you want, you bathe when you want, you whack off when you want. You have no committments- you are totally your own person, moving through life without any attachments coming between you and what you want to do. To some extent, I can understand the appeal of that. I gave up a lot of that kind of freedom when we "tied the knot". The thing is, it was a small price to pay for the immense rewards of a *mutually* committed relationship. To put it simply, I *know* that I'm always going to have someone at my back. Someone who is looking out for me, pushing me to be a better person, helping me grow. And it goes the other way, too... I find it immensely rewarding to do the same for her. And the best part is that it's for life. (Yes, I know not all marriages work this way. Mine happens to, and I feel incredibly blessed that it does.) But we don't have a minivan. We leave town whenever we want. I can leave computer parts lying around without worring about seeing them on a medical X-ray the next day. Most importantly, we enjoy having a lot of time for ourselves. We would have to give a lot of this up if we have kids. From what you've written, it sounds to me like you've developed a very stereotypical viewpoint of women (they all want children) and mutually-committed relationships (biological manifest destiny). Maybe it's what's right for you. Before I found the right person, I would have been horrified at the idea of making the sacrifices I have. After I found her, I discovered that there were other things that were important to me, so changing was not a sacrifice. My point is, don't knock something until you've tried it. Coding and gaming may be what you are optimizing your life for now, but that's based on your current preferences. You may discover some day that there are other things that you enjoy more. Unless you open yourself to that possibility, you'll never know, and could miss out on something wonderful. And yes, I apply this to myself. My wife and I are keeping an open mind about kids, even though it's not what we want now. Who knows... anything can happen. I just hate to see people who aren't willing to consider that. |
| Re:Don't mix "child free" with "committment free" (Score:1) by Rares Marian (rmarian@winblowsstart.com) on Sunday October 24, @09:42PM EST (#471) (User Info) |
| And yes, I apply this to myself. My wife and I are keeping an open mind about kids, even though it's not what we want now. Who knows... anything can happen. I just hate to see people who aren't willing to consider that. Depends. People who eat too much of something one day til it makes them sick tend to hate that for life. Even if it was their favorite food. Well watching super baby boomers run around with their heads cut off has made me more likely to adopt than add another one to the crowd. Linux/BSD - WHAT do you want to DO today? .sig II: I hope they have the decency to use vaseline when they stick those ID chips up our asses. |
| Re:Think outside the box. (Score:1) by Omnifarious (hopper@omnifarious.mn.org) on Monday October 25, @01:02AM EST (#562) (User Info) http://omnifarious.mn.org/~hopper |
I don't find the idea of childlessness to be immature and selfish. I do find it to be stagnating and a concession to death I would rather not make. I wish the human race to grow, flourish and move off the planet. I wish to make the universe green with life. I want to see if Teilhard (sp? Omega Point guy) was right. Not reproducing is a recipe for stagnation, and eventual death. I know I'm not going to change your mind, but I hope to make you more understanding of those of us who find your choice to be an anathema. |
| pop culture humor (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:27PM EST (#195) |
| my god used to drive a fucking limousine my god writes for slashdot, a linux magazine my god talks about the army all the time it seems my god's a shallow little bitch trying to make the scene ROBLIMO -t |
| Cant change her (Score:1) by nlucent (nlucent at mindspring dot com) on Sunday October 24, @01:28PM EST (#198) (User Info) http://www.mindspring.com/~nlucent |
| she can't change my source code any more than I can change hers. Great, now everyone is going to start bitching about her not being open source ... =) |
| Just give up... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:28PM EST (#200) |
| Here's another point of view that IMHO does not get talked about enough...not everyone is going to find someone. There's this myth in our society that "there's someone out there for you", but that's realy a bunch of utter cow dung. Just looking at the numbers, it's not possible for there to be someone for everyone. Some people will never find anyone. It's called darwinism. Now, the way I see it, one can spend their whole life trying to meet someone and grow into an old disgruntled man who hates women, or one can accept the fact that they are one of the ones that will be alone and never meet anyone. I did. I've been much happier since than. If you're like me, 25, never been on a date, always been too shy around girls, you should probably do the same. |
| you don't know what is over the horizon (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:56PM EST (#278) |
| My friend, things change radically when you hit 30. Women get a lot more serious and less superficial, because they've been through all the games. My advice is to accept that you are lonely right now, but be aware that you don't know what's ahead. Your coping stategy is reasonable, but be careful not to tune out completely lest you miss out on opportunity. |
| Here's some more tips... (Score:1) by vitaflo on Sunday October 24, @01:32PM EST (#203) (User Info) http://www.vitaflo.com |
| I love this topic, since I've had so many conversations about it in the past with friends. I've had many relationships in my day of all kinds, long, short, good, bad, serious, superficial, etc. And the one I can tell you that is important in relationships is learning. Learning about yourself, and another person. So many people miss that because they're searching for lust and dependance (even if they don't know it). Most of my friends cosider me "lucky", because I've had many relationships, and most of them (already in their mid 20's) haven't had one at all, and always "strike out". The fact is, like I always tell them, they are no different than me, except for the way they approach things. You wanna get a girl? First, you have to not want to get a girl. I know, sounds dumb, but it's true. You're not going to have a decent relationship with someone, until you are happy with yourself and don't feel the "need" to be with someone. Why is that? Because otherwise, like it or not, you will try to hard, and ultimately set yourself up for failure. And even if you do succeed, you're going to want a lot more than the girl, and lopsided relationships go nowhere fast. Once you have that down, you just want to be yourself. And that's easy if you're not really looking for things. It's funny how the best things always happen when you least expect them to, and if you're just being yourself and something manages to work itself out, you have someone who likes you for who YOU are and not what you want them to see you as being. So what types of girls make the best girlfriends? They say opposites attract, but what they don't tell you is that a month into the thing they repel like mad. However, you do not want to date a computer nerd like yourself. In fact, you do not want to date someone who is as passionate as your are about most anything, rather, you want to date someone who thinks the things you are passionate about are interresting, yet isn't a bonafied geek about them. Why? Because otherwise it's very easy to get into a holier-than-thou attitude about who's right in any situation. Very bad for a relationship. The things you need to have in common are the things you both like to do that don't take up half your day. You also need someone who can open your eyes an who you can learn from. Find someone who can teach you things you've never realized (so probably not comptuers) to make you a better all around person. Find that and you have a match made in heaven. Don't think it's the women that are hard to figure out. People in general are hard to figure out if you look too far into things. Take your time, have fun, and it's easier than BASIC. Looks aren't everything, in fact, they're usually most minor of things to look for. Personality, chemistry, friendship, trust, and the like are the things that really matter in relationships, and what make them last and make a person happy. Looks will only last until you get used to the person (a month) and see someone else who's hotter while in the mall. Obviously there should be some attraction, but it shouldn't be the driving force. If it is, or is a major part, you're doing it for the wrong reasons, and will be disappointed later. While a good sex life is important, a good friendship lasts forever. I could go on forever, but this at least gives a good start. In essence, the more you are yourself, are comfortable with yourself and are willing to learn more about yourself and others, the better and more happy you'll be when you finally get someone. And for those of you who have been waiting for what seems like forever, just remember, the best things come to those who wait. |
| Finding the RIGHT girl isn't the problem... (Score:1) by laktar on Sunday October 24, @01:34PM EST (#205) (User Info) |
| ...the real problem is finding ANY girl! How does a young geek find a girl? They're out there, but they're staying out there and not going out w/ me. Finding geek girls is even harder. There are so few of them (I seriously disagree w/ the find a maid attitude. I want somebody I can respect and relate to. I don't want somebody who is a complete mystery to me even after marriage!). Actually, that's an interesting little mystery which I think I'll address now. There are very few geek girls. Why? I think the problem (and it's a problem. I'd like a gf who could hold her own in Quake) is several fold. First, girls in America (and I think most places) are discouraged from being intelligent, tinkering around w/ computers, electronics, and mechanical things, etc.. That alone sends many potential geeks into normalcy and often makes them pretend to be ditzes to fit in better. I know I've seen that way too often. Then there's the whole issue that almost any girl could get a guy if she wanted. For every desperate girl there are at least 5 guys twice as desperate (me, John, Tristan, Justin, Randy, see?). That tends to follow the general incorporation of intelligent potential geek girls into normal society. And last, girls just aren't as intelligent as guys and don't have the same aptitude in general. Seriously though, the whole geek girl shortage is a serious problem. THat is all. Oh, & if you're a geek girl, about 17 or thereabouts, & live around Ambler, my e-mail address is laktar@hotmail.com -Laktar, a.k.a. Nick Rosen, laktar.dyndns.org If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord: 20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. -- Peter's Evil Overlord List, http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html |
| Re:Finding the RIGHT girl isn't the problem... (Score:1) by Tia (tia@spam?.onerock.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:48PM EST (#224) (User Info) http://www.eatbug.com/ |
| "And last, girls just aren't as intelligent as guys..." Hmmm...you claim to be having a bit of trouble meeting geek girls...could the above comment be a a fair indicator of *why*? --When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!-- |
| Re:Finding the RIGHT girl isn't the problem... (Score:1) by laktar on Monday October 25, @08:54AM EST (#647) (User Info) |
| Well, while I wasn't making that point as I'll explain below, you just proved that some very moronic girls do in fact exist. Note that such a think as sarcasm exists. This should've been obvious by the rest of the tone of my post and even more so once you read the "Seriously though" after it. -Laktar, a.k.a. Nick Rosen, laktar.dyndns.org If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord: 30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief. -- Peter's Evil Overlord List, http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html |
| I can't agree (Score:1) by Beek on Sunday October 24, @01:34PM EST (#206) (User Info) http://www.telusplanet.net/public/jbekolay/jason |
| My major problem with the article is that it seems to lump the whole Slashdot community together. I know that all you Slashdotters are very opinionated and I'm surprised I haven't seen any offended by the fact that Roblimo tells you that the best woman for you is the same as the best woman every other Slashdotter. So what is my advice? I say that you have to find out for yourself. You have to be in relationships with women that you believe are physically and emotionally appealing. You have to fuck up a relationship and make mistakes sometimes. You gotta find out if the geek woman, the ditz, the old fashioned woman, or whoever is right for you by yourself or you won't likely find the right wife or be a good husband. After reading that last sentence, I just realized I was being a little hypocritical. I'm sure all the female Slashdotters out there would not want to be labelled as one of the categories I previously mentioned. So don't say you like a woman because she's old-fashioned, be specific with what traits you like. Now I'll say what I like best in a relationship. I like it when I've had a bad day, I like when I have someone who will comfort me. I like to be able to rant to someone about what really pisses me off, and get some sincere sympathy. It's very cathartic. But even better is to do the same for your partner. It's very satisfying and makes me really happy to improve my partner's mood. (Am I being selfish by getting happiness in this? Should I be taking while giving at the same time?) Furthermore, I don't think Roblimo says anything really new (at least to me) other than to avoid geek women altogether, which I disagree with anyway. It's sort of like saying that "Genie in a Bottle" tells the truth about relationships. Well, it does, but it doesn't say anything insightful or that I didn't already know! I'm not participating in the corresponding poll because to say that women are a mystery would be saying that all women are mysterious in the same way. |
| strange (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:40PM EST (#216) |
| I don't think that someone's status as a geek or nongeek has any effect on their relationships with other people. The article was poorly written, period. I found it to be pretty much nonsense. Roblimo might as well have suggested signing up for one of those Russian bride services. Eastern European women are likely to know assembly language... and how to rub shoulders. just order one of those gadgets from www.fufme.com |
| If Microsoft made Women (Score:1) by geeklawyer (Davidh@GEpostmasterEK.LAWcoYER.uk) on Sunday October 24, @01:44PM EST (#220) (User Info) |
| 1. they'd be expensive. 2. they'd be unreliable. 3. they'd take over your environment. 4. they wouldnt let you do anything with your computer. 5. They'd be unreliable. 6. You could at least kill them with three fingers. 7. You'd upgrade every year, but the replacement would be just as bad. "Give me Liberty or give me... well, whatever you thinks is best for society" |
| what bout the inept? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:53PM EST (#229) |
| I have this friend and he is completely unaware of his enviroment. People intimidate him by talking to him. He will never find anyone. Oh yah he listens to weird al too.. |
| no fair (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @01:59PM EST (#233) |
| No lesbian-geek option ??? |
| this geek girl nonsense (Score:1) by fromaggio on Sunday October 24, @02:03PM EST (#236) (User Info) |
| hey guys. this is bs. im a girl and im a geek and i dont do cpmputer stuff *too* obsessively. and (guess what) my boyfriend is a comptuer geek too. and we get along just fine. youre being mislead. |
| Re:this geek girl nonsense (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:57PM EST (#349) |
| I myself am a male geek with a pretty geeky girlfriend. We've been dating for 2 years now, and talk a lot about computers, but plenty about other things. We are a great team, and I'm glad we found eachother. |
| Re:this geek girl nonsense (Score:1) by delphina (delphina@!spam.dethstar.net) on Sunday October 24, @08:24PM EST (#444) (User Info) http://www.dethstar.net |
| well guess what? i DO do computer stuff obsessively and my fiance loves it. don't buy into this crap, ok? |
| Geek's girlfriend (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:06PM EST (#237) |
| My boyfriend is a geek, and well that's how I ended up reading this, since after he read it, he made me read it. And although our relationship isn't as one sided as the author makes his sound, there are a lot of similarities. I know how to use a computer, but I would really not talk about them 24/7. Since high school when we were best friends, (we are both in college now) I have managed to get him away from the computer, and he's managed to get me more addicted to mine. We talk about anything and everything, computers sometimes included. He makes me laugh, and he makes me feel special. I love to take care of him, and he in return takes care of me. So for all of you who say that a geek girlfriend is the only way to go, good for you. But for the rest of you, there is a whole other kind of woman out there, and she just may be interested in you. |
| Women == Microsoft? (Score:1) by TiberianSon on Sunday October 24, @02:08PM EST (#238) (User Info) |
| "I believe the greatest frustration about women for men who are used to dealing with Open Source software is that you cannot fix flaws you find in them. You pretty much have no choice but to take them the way they are. For example, my wife likes to redecorate frequently, which sometimes annoys me, but I've learned to shrug my shoulders and call this part of her personality a feature, not a bug, and to accept it with the same good grace with which I accept a certain respected coworker's unique approach to the English language. " *GASP*! He is relabeling bugs as "features"! He isn't working with his wife to fix "bugs"! BLASPHEMY! BURN THE HERETIC! ;) --Tibs "If it is broken, fix it. If it is fixed, improve upon it. This becomes one helluva cycle." |
| oh uh (Score:1) by truthgun (virgin@stacken.kth.se) on Sunday October 24, @02:09PM EST (#239) (User Info) http://www.stacken.kth.se/~virgin/ |
I am sitting here thinking this more be a humorous response to the recently linked to article in WWN on how to avoid geeks. But perhaps it's not, and the conclusion is the same: if you think you already know what a nerdy/ugly/fat/geeky person is like and you avoid them as a rule of thumb then you're a victim of your own prejudice. The more defined your dream woman is, the harder she is going to be to find and as your search for her you might realize that most people doesn't feel very good about being evaluated and judged. When she figures out you chose her for her looks/cooking skills/doormat like personality she'll reevaluate your relationship and probably leave you. Why should she love all of you if the only thing you love is all of you? I am not saying that you should settle for second best. If a person's not right for you don't get married. If you want a pleaser go find a pleaser, if you want a pretty face then there's plenty out there. I am saying if you're shallow you relationship will be too. Most people see relationships as a two-way thing, i e: don't ask what your partner can do for you, but what you can do for each other. One last thing: why should a woman be less picky? What is it about you she'll like? What is in it for her when she runs your bath, and rubs your shoulders? Personally I hate doing dishes; I hate waiting on people. I will not cook anyone's meal. I am not Florence Nightingale, as much as I admire her I don't see myself as an unselfish giver. I want to make money. I like my job. I like to work hard. After a day's work we'd have to take care of each other as bast as we can, and if our home looks like a rat hole because none of us have the strength to clean it up then so be it. I am sure as hell not going to do it on my own, and I wouldn't expect you to do it either. Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in. |
| Hmm... can *I* give advice ? (Score:1) by The_Jazzman (t@cx) on Sunday October 24, @02:12PM EST (#242) (User Info) http://www.atari.co.uk |
| Alrighty then, hints from a young bloke who's still learnin'... Stop trying to get a love life... concentrate on having a good time and meeting girls (*nice* girls) follows... OK, you've found your nice girl, you like her so much you can't even remember what she looks like and even the slightest mention of her name causes you to faint... Well, the chances are the she feels the same as you so start off small, ask her for her phone number, ask her if she fancies doing anything next week. The chances are she will and with you... sorted. Keep with it, let it flow and enjoy it. Don't push for sex within the first week and just again concentrate on enjoying the feelings flowing forth. Corney, but true... ...and so the course of true love follows (or not ;)... Say that you don't like this girl after all... how to 'dump' her without to many problems. First rule - DON'T do it over the phone, it's *so* rude and she'll tell all her friends what a complete git you are. Ask to see her for whatever reason, or wait for a day until you know you're going to see her in person. Now, as for the actual wording... just try to go for something along the lines of "It's not you, it's me". Minimum fuss and upsets. Plus makes you feel better than being a bastard. Oh, and I agree don't go for those who you fancy from looks alone... Those types of girls just use you and destroy you. Ever been out with someone, slept with them and then a few days later been told by that very girl that she's been sleeping with another man since she's been seing you only to tell you "I'm really sorry". Believe me, that *hurts*. |
| as my father always says(married twice) (Score:1) by miahrogers (jeremiah@widomaker.com) on Sunday October 24, @02:15PM EST (#245) (User Info) http://www.widomaker.com/~otis |
| women, can't live with 'em && can't live without 'em. matisse:~$ cat .sig cat: .sig: No such file or directory |
| Re:as my father always says(married twice) (Score:1) by TBC (danh@tbcnet.com) on Sunday October 24, @02:26PM EST (#254) (User Info) http://www.tbcnet.com |
| I always thought it was "Women! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em..." (Ducking before my fiance hits me...) |
| My observations (Score:1) by npherno on Sunday October 24, @02:19PM EST (#247) (User Info) |
| I have a few observations and points to add to this whole discussion. 1. Guys, you have to go out, but more importantly, you must WANT to be out! Have fun. People do not like to be around people that aren't enjoying themselves. 2. Be confident. This may be difficult at first. Believe me, this isn't that big of a deal. I would guesstimate that 80% of most women will not blow you off. If they do, you may be in an environment that is not for you. (see #1. Like Roblimo says, smile, and use a slight touch to see if she is comfortable around you. If she tousches you back, you're in luck. 3. Pay attention. I know that I have a tendency to monopolize a conversation and then realize that the other person didn't add to the conversation because I didn't let them! Ask questions, and remember, be at ease. This isn't the time to get nervous. 4. Don't judge a book by it's cover. I have standards that I ususlly won't compromise, BUT like the article says, the people to pay attention to are the people that are not talking to anyone else (duh!). If you see a Woman dancing by herself, she will probably dance with you, even if it is only for fun. If you come on too strong, Women will OFTEN blow you out of the water. This is kind of a situation you have to watch and see what the person is doing. Many times Women that go out in packs only want a "girls night out". 5. The total opposite of that is the situation where a Woman WANTS an aggressive guy to dance with, and approach her. In this case, go for it. She will probably look back at you (if you approach form the rear), and dance with you. This does not give you the right to take liberties and do dumb shit like smack her ass or grab her else where. You can tell VERY quickly how far she wants you to go. In my experience, the Women will actually take your hands and put em where they want em. Sometimes you won't believe where they put em'. 6. Read the body language. If you have gotten this far, and are dancing closely with a woman, be strong, not abusive. In my opinion, women still like men to be men, but responsive the her needs. 7. Follow up! When you are done dancing, Talk to her! Actually, you could try to talk to her a LITTLE while dancing. Many times with this kills the mood. Buy her something to drink. Find a common ground. Listen. Compliment. Do not use dumb ass pickup lines. Smile. Be calm, and dance again! 8. Get the email address (or phone #)! The last thing is to pull her to the side, and talk again. prepare for the future! The easiest "line" to get her to give you the #? easy "Hey, how can I reach you in the future?" or something like that. easy. 9. Do not comare her to a computer in your mind, because she's not like a computer you've ever met. Now your mileage WILL vary. I live in the Northeast, in NJ. I live near the shore, and went to college 10 mins. from NYC. I am in a fraternity. I HAVE partied alot, and am probably not your average geek, BUT around here, the above is usually how it goes. (NO NJ JOKES PLEASE :) ) Have a good time. The chase is the fun part. Oh yeah. Once you actually meet her, it is different to keep her. I would actually venture to agree that it is harder to keep a girlfriend that to meet one. |
| Simplify. (Score:1) by SEWilco on Sunday October 24, @02:19PM EST (#248) (User Info) http://www.wilcoxon.org/~sewilco |
| Too many words. Just chat with the people around you, including girls. Wherever you're at. Stores, supermarket, movies, bowling alley. Invite some of them to events you like. You'll find someone you like. And if they like you when you're being yourself then that's better than having them meet a different you at home. Of course, the examples of looking for people in bars is fine if you're looking for someone who likes bars...unless bars are the socially agreed upon neutral place to go to find a mate. Oh, yeah, my qualifications: Yup, I'm not a pretty sight. Apparently adequate enough somehow to been able to choose a beautiful lady for my wife. Now we have techno-talking kids. |
| Amen Brother! (Score:1) by Pengveen on Sunday October 24, @02:20PM EST (#250) (User Info) |
| I would add to this- there are girls out there who want someone geeky like us. I'm a case in point- when I first met my fiance, I agreed (though very reluctantly) to go with her and her two female friends to a goth dance club. At the time I had no idea how to dance. But I decided to hell with shyness and to hell with being alone. I went, determined to have a good time. Like I mentioned, one of the girls is now my fiance, but she also told me that her two friends also had their eyes on me. Yes, I'm bragging, but letting loose of your inhibitions and just having fun being yourself is a HUGE draw to a lot of girls. It's worked for me every time. Keep in mind that girls are far less VISUAL than guys. This means that many times just because you don't look like Ricky "I'm so fake I'm plastic" Martin doesn't mean you aren't interesting. Women are much more interested in finding the person beneath the exterior. |
| Open source people (Score:1) by xmedar on Sunday October 24, @02:24PM EST (#252) (User Info) |
| ...I believe the greatest frustration about women for men who are used to dealing with Open Source software is that you cannot fix flaws you find in them.... Okay lets take this apart. First what is a "flaw" but a subjective evaluation. Lets try non-optimal code ( note, nature, including natural selection is inherently non optimal so no need to get upset ). Now why cant we all be open source? I am, I allow anyone to talk to me, and question me on what I think / believe, and when I come across something that seems more optimal, I change, and see if it is better for me. Most people who engage in this are "in therapy", I'm not, I've just taken it on as a way of life. It causes some interesting reactions, e.g. a date I had a couple of weeks back sat across the table and said and I quote "I can't believe you're so open, I'm amazed", if you can learn to a) articulate your thoughts and b) be open to change you can be an open source person, its not difficult, just takes practice, then you can appreciate other peoples points of view more and learn a great deal along the way, hope this helps. |
| Well, some geeks have a bit different problem.... (Score:1) by MyNameIsJonas (Mr_SelfDestruct@NOSPAMgarbage.com) on Sunday October 24, @02:26PM EST (#253) (User Info) |
| You see, I don't have a problem attracting women. I'm a fairly good looking, smart guy. Unfortunately, I (apparently) have a very unattractive personality, because after women get to know me, they don't like me. Very bad. So not all geeks don't get chicks because of physical problems or lack of coolness. Like normal people, some geeks are just jerks. |
| Re:Well, some geeks have a bit different problem.. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:55PM EST (#348) |
| Come on, man... have a little self-respect! If you think you are a jerk, shape up your act. No true jerk will admit himself for what he is. |
| I've had enough. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:30PM EST (#257) |
| That's it for me : Roblimo goes to kill file. I've read some pretty stupid stuff on /. but this beats it all. I've always been annoyed by Roblimo's comments but now I can't stay silent anymore. What annoys me even more is the wolf pack mentality of the /. crowd. You guys all seem to be sucking up to Roblimo when on the other side, Katz can't write a line without having the pack howling in rage. This is just too crazy for me. |
| Re:I've had enough. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:37PM EST (#530) |
| You guys all seem to be sucking up to Roblimo when on the other side, Katz can't write a line without having the pack howling in rage. Well, that's because Katz sucks. |
| I think the same advice holds for 'geek girls' too (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:34PM EST (#260) |
| Really, if you ignore the gendered pronouns, I think the same basic advice applies to tech-oriented women, too. Having dated a marvelous tech-savvy slashdot reader --- who I still care a lot for --- I think I can safely say that women have as much trouble dating geeky guys as guys have dating them. Geek-geek relationships inevitably wind up in fights over the proper way to do XYZ in OS foo, or some such. [If both sides are fairly strong-willed --- as in my particular case --- you can just multiply the inevitable conflicts by an order of magnitude or so.] Find someone who you respect but don't feel compelled to compete with. If you're not artistically inclined, try to catch yourself a Nitrozac. If you are, then maybe Cmdr Taco is more your speed (w/ apologies to his coffee-cup art projects). You *don't* necessarily want to find someone just like you. Find someone who can be as passionate explaining just what it is they do as you are, explaining what it is that *you* do. I can almost guarantee that someone "just like you" will also have the same troubles at the same times you do --- when what you really want is someone who's strong when you're weak, and vice-versa. [Not to say you can't be friends --- good friends, even --- with folk "just like you"; just try not to expect them to be *different* than you when you're feeling low.] Discussion and flaming welcome... |
| Some good points, some bad (Score:1) by Jason Cain (jcain@eecs.berkeley.edu) on Sunday October 24, @02:39PM EST (#263) (User Info) http://radon.eecs.berkeley.edu/~jcain |
| I agree with some of the points in this article. One of the things I value about my relationship with my wife is that we have different interests. While she is interested in technology, she's not obsessed with it like I am sometimes. This is good, because she keeps me from getting too wrapped up in computers and such and pulls me back into the real world. She also encourages me to pursue other interests, such as the arts and outdoor activities, which are enjoyable activities that help us grow as a couple. I don't find that kind of fulfillment in a computer. On the other hand, I have to disagree with the concept that she should wait on me hand and foot, waiting patiently until I'm ready to pay attention to her. We share household tasks (cooking, cleaning, etc.) equally, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I want a lifetime companion, not a maid. While she may not always fully understand my excitement over that new laptop, she is happy for me, and wants to share in the excitement. But there are times when it's good to just leave the computer alone and do something fun (go to a play, go hiking, etc.) together, and those are the times that make me truly happy. If it ain't broken, it doesn't have enough features yet. |
| Pig (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:41PM EST (#265) |
| You are a sexist pig. Loser. I hope you wife grows a personality and dumps your on your ungrateful ass. |
| Re:Pig (Score:1) by twitter on Monday October 25, @04:53PM EST (#702) (User Info) |
| His wife has a personality. What little of it is mentioned of it is just not one you like. I live to serve my wife, and she lives to serve me. The sevices we have to offer are different, and both of us are grateful. To each their own. Make yourself happy and be kind to others. |
| Slashdot != (GQ || Details || et.al.) (Score:1) by Technik~ on Sunday October 24, @02:43PM EST (#269) (User Info) |
| I'm surprised to see this here but I suppose I shouldn't. I'll add my two cents though- I met my wife despite my interest in computers. I was tooling around on a motorcycle and completing graduate study in the Humanities. She has no interest in computers beyond MS Office, WWW, email and Freecell and thinks the way I latch onto things- computers, history, math, literature, sports, politics- with such intense zeal is "cute". The point is that I was a pretty much whole individual with wide interests and comfortable with myself. She noticed. Lonely geeks need to get out and do something other than computers. They need to cultivate more facets; to be a person that someone would want to have around, maybe invite to a party or take out somewhere. In other words, get a life. |
| i think my approach works better (Score:1) by perfecto on Sunday October 24, @02:48PM EST (#272) (User Info) http://w3.nai.net/~perfecto/ |
| The Obligatory ExGirlFriend Page "The lie, Mr. Mulder, is most convincingly hidden between two truths." -- Deep Throat |
| Woah! Downright wild!!! (Score:2) by grappler (thegrappler@DIE_SPAMMERS.usa.net) on Sunday October 24, @02:48PM EST (#273) (User Info) |
| If you've done this before, I've never noticed. They made the poll point to the Robin Miller discussion on women! That will keep it going for a while yet, and probably also cause a fair amount of confusion when a bunch of valid posts are moderated as "offtopic". That's my guess anyway. About the poll - I'm not one to complain about this, but there really wasn't any option that was even close to my answer, nor was there a "throwaway" option (Rob sux, onions are blue) to indicate none of the above. And I don't think I'm in the minority. I get along with girls just fine, and have several friends that are girls. But they aren't constantly coming on to me... -- grappler #include <std_disclaimer.h> |
| Re:Woah! Downright wild!!! (Score:2) by m3000 (m3000@nospam.tampabay.rr.com) on Sunday October 24, @06:10PM EST (#381) (User Info) http://m3000.1wh.com/linux |
| Yea, I voted, and then looked at the comments and was like, "Didn't I just see this?". Confused me for a second before I figured it out. A poll in an article, super nifty. |
| Barf (Score:1) by drix on Sunday October 24, @02:48PM EST (#274) (User Info) |
| I refuse to read this article on principle. This is Slashdot, not Seventeen. I don't see how this falls under Rob's quasi-journalistic creed of "News for Nerds. Stuff that matters." The fact that anyone is actually reading this could only be hurting your chances. Be yourself, act natural, unplug for a little while (all the nerds I know are pathetically stressed,) and see what you come up with. If you're taking your Palm Pilot out on dates with a list of do's and don'ts built in, then, my friend, there's your problem. It's ironic, probably the best thing you could do for your love life is just read less Slashdot. Not read articles on Slashdot about it. -- "Some people say that I proved if you get a C average, you can end up being successful in life." - George W. Bush, to a New Hampshire 5th grader. |
| Mailing this to Rob's wife (Score:1) by doomy (spamm@monty.orgy) on Sunday October 24, @02:55PM EST (#276) (User Info) |
| .. oh what a spanking awaits thee... Tehehehe.. -- ...free your source and the rest would follow... |
| Re:Mailing this to Rob's wife (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @11:03AM EST (#669) |
| Does this mean he's into that sort of thing? Hrm, is this a source for another posting (though maybe better on segfault)? |
| non-geekiness of the girl (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @02:56PM EST (#277) |
| One problem with a girl that's not a geek is that when you are deep in a problem, she'll still know, cause that's basic human stuff, and if she cares about you, she'll want to help you and talk about it and stuff. Problem is, she could be the smartest girl in the world, but if she's not a geek, she's not gonna understand enough about how your code works to come close to understanding your problem. It could be frustrating for you to have to explain it and deal with her questions when they are really indictative of a total lack of understanding of the nature of the problem and she will feel upset because you are keeping her out of your life and she wants to help you. She'll notice how excited and animated you get when geeking it up over something with your geek friends and she'll want a piece of that, too. This is one reason to consider the geekiness factor of a girl. It would be better to have it over a certain threshold of understanding or at a negative value so she avoids your geekly domain. In-betweeners may cause problems for both of you. |
| Meeting the perfect girl is so simple! (Score:1) by Mark Edwards on Sunday October 24, @03:00PM EST (#282) (User Info) http://rampages.onramp.net/~medwards/progeek.htm |
| Invent time travel Travel into the future to see who you end up with. Go back to your time, destroy the machine, and pursue your ideal woman. I mean, how hard can that be? It worked for me - now using Marriage 4.0 (grin) |
| Is this really necessary? (Score:1) by zyzko (zyzko@imnetti.fi) on Sunday October 24, @03:05PM EST (#284) (User Info) |
| Is this really "News for Nerds" - even thought this piece is quite humorous, it is so well written and thought that I suspect Roblimo is at least half-serious. Do we really need this? Are we SO desperate? And why should everybody get a woman (or a man) anyway? Some people are perfectly comfortable with Linux kernel source and a compiler and like to be alone with them :) This really belongs somewhere else... |
| This is a really good joke!!!! (Score:1) by thelopez on Sunday October 24, @03:06PM EST (#285) (User Info) |
| I mean common, look at the picture of the guy, common The Lopez |
| Not very funny, nor correct. (Score:1) by Radagast (joakim@styx.net) on Sunday October 24, @03:08PM EST (#286) (User Info) http://www.styx.net/ |
| I have problems understanding why this was placed in the funny category. It wasn't very funny, nor did it feel like it was written in jest. On the other hand, if it was meant to be taken seriously, I think there are some problems with Robin's conceptions. In particular, I react to his "Don't waste your time on geek girls" stance. Now, it might be that he's, well, um, a bit older (and thus more old-fashioned), but I don't think (or hope) that the "I need a woman that fulfills my needs, not one that competes with me" attitude is common amongst hackers and techies. There is a beauty in having a life partner who's your intellectual and emotional equal. Now, that doesn't have to mean computer geek, but someone smart, who has an area of he or she loves working in, a thirst for more knowledge, etc. 20 years ago, a partner who would massage your shoulders and cook you dinner might be the ideal. But now? Give me someone who's smarter than me any day. --Joakim Ziegler |
| how the living fuck did this get posted? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @03:12PM EST (#287) |
| If this was posted in any /. forum, it would get moderated to "off topic". It should get the same treatment as a news story. I read it, looking for some semblance of relevance, or even humor. Didn't find any. I don't read /. for dating advice, dammit. Keep this crap out of here. |
| And now I wonder (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @03:15PM EST (#290) |
| The Article explained to me what had happened in my life for the past 6 months. I followed this kind of approach. And now I've got a girl that loves me much. I get those hugs when I need them, and sometimes when I don't. And now I wonder : What if I'd gone for one of those Hot Babes ? I Could have been dumped...It Could have worked out...? At least I'm not alone anymore, hey ? And for that I thank the author, coz he's giving the possibility of that to someone else out there. |
| Gray's Geek Rule-O-Love (Score:1) by Gray on Sunday October 24, @03:16PM EST (#291) (User Info) http://www.ph.nu |
| Gray's Geek Rule-O-Love If you find someone, don't write about it. No one is an expert, or really even has a clue about relationships, but most of us figure it out in the end.. Relax, do whatever you feel like, it'll work out.. Don't over think things.. Appearance counts, how much is up to you.. And now do be critical. The article was terribly written and totally offensive.. Slashdot would be wise to stay away from this junk IMO.. Lets stick to what we know.. What's next, roblimos fashion tips? No thanks.. I can just see the next 'shashdot as new media outlit' article.. "Self described nerds, with articles on topics from Bewolf to How to Get A Girlfriend." Everyone knows computer skills are inversely propotional to mating skills, right? |
| i really hope... (Score:1) by miskomin on Sunday October 24, @03:18PM EST (#292) (User Info) |
| that this was just buddy's attempt at stirring up conversation eh. |
| Who Died and made you mr LOVE? (Score:1) by Hoe (rob@guthrie.dhis.org) on Sunday October 24, @03:22PM EST (#294) (User Info) |
| Ok, firstly, congratulations on meeting a woman and getting along well with her. Secondly, that dosn't mean your "tried and true" methods of "girl getting" are universal handbook material. My Good friend has met a girl, who DOES love computers and DOES care what kind of NIC(Also 3com) and how much RAM (128 Meg) is in her computer. Not only that, but she is VERY HOT. |
| Women :-) (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @03:25PM EST (#295) |
| Hi...my name is Patrick and Im 20 years old...I have to say that I agree with you 100%...i found a girl that is so perfect for me...its unbelievable...shes nice, sweet, and she knows a little about computers...i play guitar and I design web-pages as well as Grafx. Im usually a really busy person...but I love spending time with her..and her me...I spent some time with her today...and everytime I see her...I find another reason why I love her! Shes a great person who appreciates me for who I am. Check out my webpage :-) http://www.acidsoft.cjb.net Thanx again for the advice! CYa l8r |
| Farce in the making? (Score:1) by Thranduil on Sunday October 24, @03:29PM EST (#296) (User Info) http://www.nmt.edu/~mikeschu |
| I wondered why the topic heading is under the "humorous" column. By reading a lot of the responses, I've got the feeling a lot of us have missed the point, including myself the first time I read through it. The point he's making is that no one's opinion on who you should find is going to help. It's up to you to know who you're really looking for. Why do I say this? The quote that comes to mind is "One man's trash is another man's treasure." Granted, this isn't the best way of saying it, but it means that no matter if you think someone is worthless or not attractive for whatever reason, someone else will think he or she is the right person. This whole dating argument also might come from a bit of a self-esteem crisis that swings by once in a while. I'm a closet CS person (who's major is EE) and a gamer (not of Quake but of real, physical board games and roleplaying). It's real disappointing to be rejected by someone or be out of the social dating loop for a while, especially when it seems that everyone around you is scoring. Most of it stems from the fact that we (as a technically inclined gathering of people) are vastly misunderstood in the eyes of others. But to be misunderstood doesn't mean you are technically inclined either. It happens to all of us,no matter what our profession is. I won't give advice other than two quotes that might help: 1. The immortal words of "DON'T PANIC" come to mind from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Everything works itself out eventually. Don't ask how, it just does. 2. As G. Ratte' and cDc said on Friday, "Save yourself, go outside, DO SOMETHING!" Just take a a night every week or two and go down to the bar (or coffee shop if you're under age) with a couple of people and be seen. I think /. needs to organize a "Geek's Night Out" (similar to the WSJ a while back with "Open That Bottle Night") where we just let the keyboard take a night off and tend to a social gathering of our choice. Of course, in all of this, be reminded that I may still be missing the point on this article.... |
| Kind of sexist, don't you think?!? (Score:1) by sspiff on Sunday October 24, @03:29PM EST (#297) (User Info) |
| I realize that this article was tagged as "humor" but come on, cut us some slack here! I don't need a woman to cook my meals, rub my shoulders, or run my bathwater. I'm an adult, thank you, I can do all of those things myself. This article makes me think that all geeks are supposed to want a surrogate mother instead of a girlfriend. Maybe insecure guys do; I don't! I'm far from politically correct, but I think if I was a female Slashdot reader I'd be more than a little bit offended by this article. Some simple advice that works wonders: 1. Find someone with common interests. This is very important over the long haul because you'll have more stuff to do together, talk about, etc. If you don't have anything in common it probably won't last because someone will get bored. I'd rather be with someone that I can talk geeky stuff with. 2. Don't be taken in by appearances. I do agree with that part of the article. And no, you shouldn't treat women as walking sex objects! 3. Be yourself!!! Let that be your mantra! If you accept who you are others will too. If you try to be someone that you are not, than any following relationships will be based on dishonesty and that WILL leads to disaster. Don't play games. This works well for me. But, if you are a guy and you let your penis or testosterone level run your life, maybe it won't! |
| "Be yourself" (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:57AM EST (#649) |
Be yourself!!! The most useless piece of advice usually given. LIke, I could be someone else!!!! The real advice is if you're not satisfied with what happens to you, CHANGE yourself! To understand how, go read alt.seduction.fast. -- Nathan SZILARD |
| /. == 1999, Roblimo == 1951 (Score:1) by peterarm (peterburtonarmstrong@REMOVETHISTOEMAILMEusa.net) on Sunday October 24, @03:29PM EST (#298) (User Info) |
| All generalizations are false (!), but when Roblimo starts making them he sounds like an irrelevant, sexist anachronism. Why this kind of shit belongs on /. is beyond me... |
| Why I'm a 'flop' with the ladies (Score:1) by decipher_saint on Sunday October 24, @03:56PM EST (#305) (User Info) http://www.connect.ab.ca/~skid/ |
| First of all I would like to say I'm visually impaired, which means I enjoy all the benefits of being blind (not seeing things, eye contact? whats that?) and not looking like I'm blind (I already know what you are going to say so stuff it! ;-). |
| Re:Why I'm a 'flop' with the ladies (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:30PM EST (#330) |
| Sounds familiar... Partly. I decided I fed up with it and get myself a life. So far I like it. |
| Re:Why I'm a 'flop' with the ladies (Score:1) by decipher_saint on Sunday October 24, @05:30PM EST (#364) (User Info) http://www.connect.ab.ca/~skid/ |
| Sounds Good ;-) Capt. Ron - Sex is physics, Love is chemistry, but it takes Engineering to be kinky - |
| Pretty Geek Girl (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:01PM EST (#306) |
| http://www.iloveholly.com Not for children! |
| Here's a story - not really but ... (Score:1) by Lexi_the_linux_girl (punkrockgirl@startrekmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @04:02PM EST (#307) (User Info) http://ume.med.ucalgary.ca/~alexandr |
| I couldn't think of a subject. This poll, and the corresponing article, appropriately labeled under the Monty Python Foot, seems to be a reoccuring theme at Slashdot and one that gets quite a few posts in response. Mention geeks, girls, women, dating, girl geeks, and voila! Instant high traffic posting. Although I must admit I post in response to many of these articles myself, it seems to be a theme that has popped up quite frequently, and each time - posting galore. On the subject of dating, I feel sorry for those men who are having trouble meeting women, and I feel sorry for the geek girls who are having trouble with meeting men - perhaps if for each of these articles, there is one or two slashdotters that get up a bit of confidence and meet a member of whatever sex attracts them, maybe it is worth it. One man I know who has never had trouble meeting women is my dad. From the days before he met my mom in university - when he met my mom he was dating 4 women and dropped them all for her - this was in 1969 - different world. To his single days after the divorce where my dad and I would be on our father daughter weekends - and women would approach him in droves, this man never had trouble meeting women. What do I think attracts women to my dad - I don't know? He is an above average looking man, very intellegent, and very intellectual. He has a broad range of interests, and is a very friendly, laid back person. My dad is not the type of person who focuses on the negative, he is not critical of others or himself. I have inheritted my father's ability to attract, although I am more of a critical person than he is. So I know it is not that. I personally think the way to attract people is simply to know that you do not need someone else to care for you, or to love you in order for your life to be good. Liking yourself is the most attractive characteristic to the sex you wish to attract. Now we need a moritorium on subjects dealing with geeks and their love lives, or at least a section in /. dedicated to this subject at all times - maybe a slashdot.love section. On the only option for a hetro woman for the poll, Sexism?? Really?? Here??? I don't find Slashdot sexist, personally, although some less experienced men may say things that may be misconstrued by a feminist as sexist from time to time. There are boys and men who don't understand the sensitivities in certain actions such as addressing women as humans. Perhaps these are the dateless ones. Each time a female orientated subject comes on on /. - I cringe - knowing surely I will read something that will make me a touch irate - no matter how much I remind myself that some males are just so clueless. We need a subject heading for sure for female related topics so I can filter tham out - and not feel forced to post to defend my position. -- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..." - Isaac Asimov |
| Be wary (Score:1) by krh on Sunday October 24, @04:08PM EST (#311) (User Info) |
| A few quick words of fore-warning: Taking the advice in this article could result in you resembling, either physically, emotionally, or both, Roblimo, which has been known to cause deep psychological problems. The shortest way out of that situation seems to be suicide or jail-time, where you can be Bubba the Axe-murder's "special friend", and lose all sense of self-conscience. Be wary. |
| That's a sexist article if I've ever seen one. (Score:1) by Kabby (sigma@(no.)junglist(.spam).org) on Sunday October 24, @04:11PM EST (#315) (User Info) http://outloud.org/not/yet.htm |
If there is one thing I hate, it's stereotypes. This article is FULL of them (and full of it, might I add). Now he might have a good suggestion or two in there, but please PLEASE don't waste your time by hanging on every word he says. This world has an incredible amount of variety, and you should NEVER associate a face (or a body) with a personality. I've met beautiful women who were the sweetest creatures. I've also met the *ugliest* women who had the worst personalities imaginable! I have also met (heaven forbid!) beautiful, sweet geek girls. There is no right or wrong, black or white. Women are like us, they come in all shapes and sizes. They might think differently, but in the end they usually want someone they can relate to. I'd like to comment on Roblimo's high school 'friend,' Jessica. She's a freak of nature. She was ugly, a tad arrogant but she matured and became beautiful. Would she have matured if guys had been all over her? Probably not. If others like you, there is no reason for change. She probably realized that she wasn't projecting the image she wanted, and decided to change. Apparently, she was very successful. But why look back and say, "Well gee, I should've been nice to her?" That's hypocrisy! You shouldn't be nice to a girl in the hopes that she'll become a goddess, those are simply the wrong reasons. If you really don't like a girl, then in my opinion you won't ever respect her. If she changes for the better, and matures greatly, then good for her, but leave it at that. If you're really open-minded, talk to her, try to see if she's really changed that much. For the record, this is true for anyone, not just used-to-be-ugly-and-annoying women. If you think the girl isn't particularly pretty but she's got a nice personality, then you should talk to her. If she likes you but you're not interested, tell her so (try to be gentle about it). This is incredibly harder than it sounds, I for one am really bad at letting down women. Does that make my comment obsolete? Not at all! It's not because I'm not good at something that I don't know how it's supposed to be done. I get better every time, practice helps (I don't have much of it, however). Now, I know it's been said over and over, everywhere and by everyone... Be yourself. There is no secret. Some of us are born with the ability to attract women, others aren't so lucky (at least 75% of men). And for the rest of us, there is no point in pretending to be someone we're not. Don't follow someone else's footseps, you're cheating yourself. Listen to advice, but try to make up your own mind... Not everyone is right, it is a harsh truth that I learned the hard way. If a girl doesn't respect you for who you are, no matter how beautiful she is, don't waste your time on her. Find someone who can appreciate you as much as you appreciate her. While we're at it, here's a bit of advice from someone who regrets this every day he wakes up: NEVER hesitate to ask. It doesn't matter how pretty she is, it doesn't matter how "out of your league" you think she is. If she shows some form of interest (really friendly, maybe a hug sometimes, smiles at you) and you like her, ask her. It might be devastating to be rejected, but you'll get over it. You can NEVER (believe me) get over doing nothing at all. Look at Ben Stiller in "There's Something About Mary"... the guy is 30 and he can't get over it. Of course, no one wants to hear about his sob story so I won't tell mine either :p I hope this helps some of you confused geeks out there a little bit. |
| God damn it, Roblimo (Score:1) by Q*bert (Don'tSpamqweaver@vovida.com) on Sunday October 24, @04:16PM EST (#320) (User Info) http://www.vovida.com/ |
| I sincerely hope it wasn't your intention, but you came across in this article as a selfish and sexist jerk. Here's what I gleaned from it: Your ideal woman is some wallflower you picked up at a bar because no one else was interested and she wouldn't assert herself, who stands in awe of your great genius as a technician. Because she is so overwhelmed by your intellect (which she either does not possess or does not give herself credit for possessing), she meekly tolerates your late-night hacking sessions, rubs your poor, beleagured genius shoulders, and runs your bathwater for you. What kind of sexist dominance fantasy is this? I can only hope that's you're exaggerating to make a humorous point. I hope you don't expect such unquestioning self-abdication from your real-life wife; if you do, I feel very sorry for her. For my part, I will continue to choose women with real spirit, women who will treat me as an equal in a relationship and expect the same, and who have the intellectual caliber to do so, if not as coders then as chemists or teachers or artists or lawyers. Maybe it's because I grew up in the 80s and 90s, but I have no desire for the kind of 50s sitcom life you describe. I want a soulmate, not a nursemaid. I have had the great pleasure of finding several such women, though for various reasons things didn't work out in the end--so I know this is not a pipe dream. These strong, smart women exist--het geek guys, don't settle for less! Vovida, OS VoIP |
| self confidence (Score:1) by schematic (spam@schematic.org) on Sunday October 24, @04:25PM EST (#325) (User Info) http://schematic.org |
| I think my biggest problem is that I don't realize poeple like to have me around. It came as a shock to me when i realized that chicks thought i was a sexy bitch, but i guess over the years of being alone with myself and my computer, I've turned into something the girls might like. The point i'm trying to make is: Do want you want to do, it doesn't matter what others think. I've had friends that have picked up some hot chicks, just by doing what rob explained. The secret is treating them like any other person but still giving them respect. I'm sorry if it seems like i jumped from topic to topic, my mind is multi-threaded, but the comment box is not. |
| Female Authors on /. (Score:1) by miyax (miyax@fruhead.com) on Sunday October 24, @04:29PM EST (#328) (User Info) http://secondhandwonder.virtualave.net |
| I think we females (all 7% of us hehe) need at least one female author on /., so we can get articles like this : ) I wonder if Mrs. Roblimo is interested...hmm...if not I'd be glad to take the job : ) miyax "Beware of horny girls with New Jersey hair." |
| I would like to see what Mrs. Debbie Limo thinks . (Score:1) by Lexi_the_linux_girl (punkrockgirl@startrekmail.com) on Sunday October 24, @04:42PM EST (#342) (User Info) http://ume.med.ucalgary.ca/~alexandr |
| About what Rob wrote. Hey Rob - let her use one of your many computers and type a response - tell her side of the story! Also maybe a regular spot from a geek girl might be cool! I am absolutely willing to take up the task myself as well. I am sure quite a few geek girls would like the job of being the inhouse Slashdot chick - unless it literally meant inhouse - and she had to live with the guys. After all they might want backrubs, or thier bath run, or god forbid a hug! The cookies might be possible, let me copy cookie-lib.pl - oh wait you meant the kind you can eat. Sorry - I don't have time to bake right now, I am posting to Slashdot. -- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..." - Isaac Asimov |
| Re:I would like to see what Mrs. Debbie Limo think (Score:1) by Lucy Linux (lucylinux@nospam-redhills.com) on Sunday October 24, @06:44PM EST (#396) (User Info) |
| According to Roblimo, Debbie thought it was funny, as it was intended to be. He mentioned this in a post that was a reply to a reply (...) to one of the earliest posts. It takes too long to reload the page for me to look it up, but it was something around #284, I think. His main point in that post was that this was intended as humor, and a lot of people didn't get it. sigless wonderment!? |
| In defense of geek girls (and gay geek guys) (Score:1) by harlows_monkeys on Sunday October 24, @04:32PM EST (#334) (User Info) |
| A woman just like you wouldn't be there for you when you wanted a hug. She'd be obsessively coding or posting on Slashdot herself, and would brush you off when you needed her. Wait a second. What about when she needs a hug? If a geek guy can break away from his coding to provide a hug to a non-geek wife, why wouldn't a geek girl be able to take a hug break for a geek husband? Men involved in activities that demand long periods of intense concentration (programmers, artists, writers, musicians, etc.) need women who will respect what they do and help them do it well, not women who compete with them. I don't view geek activities as competitive. There's nothing I enjoy more in the world then spending time with my best friend, who is a fellow geek. Besides doing a zillion geeky things together, we also watch movies, talk about books we've read, listen to music, discuss current affairs, etc.. We don't compete: we cooperate and share. You haven't advanced any convincing reason why such a relationship would not be possible with a girl. I don't think I could love a girl like you describe--love (true love) requires a degree of mental compatibility that I could not have with a non-geek, not because there is anything wrong with non-geeks, but rather because anyone who is mentally compatible with me on a deep level will be a geek--that comes with the territory. Frankly, and I don't mean this in a negative or insulting way, it sounds like what you are describing is not a wife, but a servant/concubine, that one can love much the way one can love a cat or a dog. I love my best friend. I'm not going to settle for a wife that I can't love at least as much as I love him. Love without sex is better than sex without love. |
| Girl Hack! (Score:1) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:35PM EST (#335) |
| PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE OF THE TROUBLED FEMALE TEEN Author - Seth McGann Date - 5/25/98 1. OVERVIEW In this report I will attempt to quantify the personality traits of the troubled teen with the intent of creating a psychological profile (or signature). The techniques used to arrive at these conclusions are the same used by the FBI to profile unknown serial killers to facilitate their capture. All the conclusions are based on real-life interviews, long exposure to several people possessing the target personality, as well as some behavioral psychology. This report is divided into a theory and a practice section as well as a small section on exploitation. At the end of this report you should have all the information you need to identify the personality type defined in this report and with practice should be able to exploit the female for your enjoyment. 2. THEORY The personality we are defining is that of a troubled teen. Specifically, we seek female teens from 12 to 18 years of age (possibly older) with severe unipolar depression. The reason for this will become evident later. We also seek a highly extroverted personality with little or no inhibitions. A side effect of this will be mild to severe hyperactivity, which we must also look for. So, we desire a depressed, extroverted, hyperactive female. Luckily, these traits go hand in hand. Additionally, the behavior associated with them is easy to identify, even from a distance. In the next section, a behavioral profile will be provided that can be used a template for this personality. 3. PRACTICE We begin our profile with an examination of the subject. This can be broken into several pieces. As with any profile, not everything will be the same for every subject. The more parts that fit, the better the chance of a match. HEAD: Examine the subjects head. Is her hair dyed? Does it show evidence of being dyed multiple times? The more times the better. Next look at her ears. Multiple self-inflicted piercings with strange studs should be evident. Also look for make-up. We want a purple color scheme, though this may, or may not be evident. Also look for scarring, (white or red lines). The more scarring the better. ARMS and LEGS: Look closely at the subjects wrists and forearms. Search for evidence of scarring in these locations. Heavy scarring on the wrists is an indication of attempted suicide (a plus for us). Also look for names that have been carved into her skin. She may chose to hide her names by carving them in hard to see places, so don't be discouraged just yet. Another good sign is burn marks. Be careful though, severe physical or sexual abuse will produce the wrong type of personality, we want all the damage to be self-inflicted. BODY: The overall female should be very thin most of the time, although obesity is a possibility too. She will have used starvation as a means to attempt suicide in the past. We seek a physically attractive female, so feel free to discard females that are disturbing to look at. Now that we have screened for a female with the above physical characteristics we have to take a look at her mind. Even here, observation is key. It will be easier to inventory her mind if you try to start a conversation. The proper type will undoubtedly start the conversation for you, and begin telling her life story, given a little prodding. Watch her body language as she talks. She will subconsciously emphasize certain points, which we want to know about. Here is what we are looking for: BEHAVIOR: The female will try to always be at the center of attention. Given the proper setting (a house party, for instance) she will not hesitate to run around completely naked. This is a very good sign as it requires a VERY uninhibited personality (even with large amounts of alcohol). She will begin to talk to whoever is near her, and will continually steer the conversation back to her. She will complain about her life, how bad her day was, and given enough time she will drop important details. This release of information will happen whether the subject is inebriated or not, the hallmark of this personality. Areas to question the subject on are as follows: DRUG and ALCOHOL USE: The subject should use drugs heavily, if not now, in the past. She may have convictions and be on probation for use and sale of marijuana. Generally, she will not use harder drugs than pot, if anything else it will usually be "shrooms" or LSD. She will also use alcohol heavily, generally in a social setting. All this drug use will generally take place with her friends in a closed setting. Don't expect to see this at bar or other open gathering. MEDICAL HISTORY: Here is the most important section. If you've gotten this far everything here should fit perfectly. She will have been treated for "depression" in the past, most likely with an in-patient stay at a mental facility. The reason for her stay will be attempted suicide or suicidal ideations (thinking about ending it). The methods she will use will not be effective (like a shotgun blast to the head) but will be designed to attract attention. Horizontal wrist slashing will bleed a lot, but is generally not fatal and can be repaired. Overdosing on over the counter drugs, and consuming household cleaning products are also popular. While these methods can work, the subject will call her friend and tell the friend that she just tried to commit suicide. This leads to the hospital, a suicide watch, and in-patient commitment. The subject will also be seeing a therapist. The reason for this is that the medication she is taking requires monitoring by a psychiatrist. Popular brand names are Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, but they all are anti-depressants. Specifically they are selective seritonin reuptake inhibitors, in other words they work by increasing the pool of seritonin in the brain, thus reducing depression. She will most likely not be taking the old school anti-depressants. These so called MAO inhibitors have so many side effects that is usually prescribed when nothing else will work. She will also need something for that hyperactivity, Ritalin being the drug of choice. To summarize: she is currently on anti-depressants and is seeing a therapist due to depression and attempted suicide. If you can come to this conclusion from your conversation, then you are in good shape. FAMILY HISTORY and CHILDHOOD: The subject will have had a relatively sheltered childhood with in a small town. This can vary actually, she may in fact live in a city and may have one or both parents, who can have a varying amount of financial security. Obviously, you want to find a female with rich parents. Something goes horribly wrong. The female will be rejected by her mother, who will continually disapprove of everything she does. This will lead to continuos feelings of rejection and anxiety. In an attempt to get attention she will latch on to anyone who approves of her and soothes the pain in her mind. This is where the promiscuous sex comes in. She uses sex as a tool to ease her mental pain, but this will not work. No matter how much sex she has, how many boyfriends she gets, no matter how much she drinks, or smokes, the underlying pain always comes back. She will do a good job covering it up, but she overcompensates, leading to exaggerated reactions. If you spend enough time with the female you will see that she does not deal well with change. Her personality will "break" for awhile, during which you will be treated to fits of screaming and crying. During these episodes the female will be feeling completely alone. If the episode last long enough she will try to commit suicide. To her, physical pain is nothing compared to the mental torture she has to endure. This also explains the need to carve her body, and do her own piercings. The control she exerts on her body, and the pain she inflicts, gives her an escape. To find out how closely the female fits in here requires good conversation skills. Watch her body language and try to see what you can pick up. Chances are, all this will hit dead on. FRIENDS: She will have many friends and acquaintances. Her best friend will usually be fairly normal, so it would be good for you to question her alone. Not to much in this area, take mental notes about who she likes and dislikes, it will be useful in the future if you try to start any sort of "relationship". SEXUAL ORIENTATION: The subject will almost always be bi-sexual. Depending on how much she likes you, she will be willing to have a sex with you and two or more girls. In fact, your best bet for group sex is with this personality type. The other partners will usually be her friends, or someone she feels comfortable with. Due to the sensitive nature of this topic, you should find a way to figure it out without direct questioning or until you've known the subject for awhile. After you've done a satisfactory interview you will know whether you have found the right person or not. If you are sure you have a proper personality fix you can move on to the next section. Otherwise, try somebody else, in the next section we talk about ways to increase your success. 3. EXPLOITATION To actually exploit this type of personality you must first find some candidate girls. Here are some excellent locations: Boarding Schools for Girls: Basically these are psychiatric facilities for rich girls. Try and find a party near the school, chances are some of the most lucrative finds will show up. If possible, through your own party (this is kind of extreme though). Rural High Schools: Everyone knows people out in a rural setting have nothing to do. Use this to your advantage by infiltrating the party scene. You will undoubtedly find several targets. Colleges: Less likely, due to the fact that someone as mentally disturbed as we want would most likely not make it to college (though there are exceptions). Worth a try any ways. Get into the party scene, go to bars around the college, frat parties are great, IF you can get in. Clubs and Bars: Everyone who goes to these are underage. Use this to your advantage. Profiling is harder in this setting, but if your good you should have no problem. What you do once you have found your target? Well, I'm sure you can figure it out. Capitalize on the person for sex, money and drugs. The more involved you get with the one girl, chances are you can get her friends too. One thing to keep in mind though, you will either get a positive or negative reaction. Discard the person if she responds negatively. If you really want a particular girl, you can try, but with this personality, there is an immediate reaction. If the reaction is positive, your in with about 5 minutes effort. Otherwise, it will take much, much longer. Don't bother, find another one. 4. CONCLUSION If you have completed this report you have all the necessary information to identify this personality. Now all you need is practice, and lots of it. A disregard for ethics is also helpful. In no time you should be getting more sex than you know what to do with. |
| And if all that advice doesn't work... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:37PM EST (#338) |
| http://www.realdolls.com |
| by this point nobody reads these late posts, but.. (Score:1) by eries (eries(AT)CatalystRecruiting(DOT)com) on Sunday October 24, @04:43PM EST (#343) (User Info) http://www.CatalystRecruiting.com |
| I thought I'd try anyway. In particular, I'm curious how other /. types feel about this aspect of our society that requires you to misrepresent yourself in order to let people "find out who you really are." I've gone back and forth about whether or not this constitutes outright deception, or just putting your best foot forward. So which is it? Catalyst Recruiting - Finding a job shouldn't be work |
| Female slaves (Score:1) by citmanual on Sunday October 24, @04:46PM EST (#345) (User Info) |
| I really like the idea of a woman to cook, clean, rub my shoulders and everything else. Being a geek in a three year relationship (and at a point in our lives where we are planning longer term together), I would like to be the first to say that expectations for a woman need to be zero. Nothing. You can't expect a single thing. That way you will work for a good relationship and show extreme gratitude whenever she does anything for you. The biggest thing is to find a girl who will be your best friend. Above everything, that is what counts. |
| I'm a geek girl & I'm hot. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:52PM EST (#347) |
| I can make (and have made) an entire room of geek guys simultaneously switch processes to handle the "woah, cute belly button" interrupt after I reached to the top of a board in a technical presentation. Geek guys are not subtle about context switches. I live with and love a geek guy. He certainly didn't get involved with me for my cooking skills. I do rub his shoulders and correct his code at the same time. He does the same for me. I would have laughed and laughed and laughed at any guy who handed me a copy of Roblimo's article as an introduction to what he wanted out of a relationship. Just a datapoint. |
| Re:I'm a geek girl & I'm hot. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:48PM EST (#400) |
| 5'3" 165 does not qualify as "hot" |
| HOWTO... (Score:1) by Ablar on Sunday October 24, @05:00PM EST (#351) (User Info) |
| First thing that I thought of when I read about women having a HOWTO was that RTFM will never be the same again... |
| sub-geekdoms. (Score:1) by harmful on Sunday October 24, @05:23PM EST (#362) (User Info) |
| More advice from older geeks to the younger on getting girls... Rob mostly focuses here on what to look for in women, and what not to look for. (Admittedly there is a small portion on being nice, and not trying to be something you are not...) But perhaps a more appropriate article would be not what to look for in women (or men), but how to act. My broad generalization of the day is that Most geeks lack social skills. For years, I literally hated people in general. Most were too dumb to understand me, and no one bothered to care. (This was partially teen agnst as well..) So I went through life having no friends, aside from the other few geeks who ate their lunch in the computer lab everyday. Eventually I discovered BBS's... (I will not rant on how great they were), but I slowly began learning how to talk to people, and at the BBS'er gatherings (socials), I actually had the chance to meet other local geeks in person. And there were female bbsers! My god (what god?) the world had changed... A group of social misfits that couldnt deal with the rest of the world, but were willing to put up with each other. I discovered the variety of geeks.... The standard dorkish type of course, but also the homeless couch surfing punk geeks, and the artists, and the goths.... So, woah.. im going off on a tangent. My point is, that I learned how to interact with people. I developed social skills, and realized that I didn't in fact hate everyone, I just didn't know how to deal with them.. basic things such as chit-chat, and asking questions to start conversations were just part of it. Anyhow... so where/how to learn decent social skills? I'd tell you BBS's, but they're mostly gone.. (if you get nostalgic, look below and I'll give you the number of my old favorite, yeah its still around.) So as far as the lesson goes in this area.... I can't help to much. So now assume that you've gained some social skills.. and you're a geek that can actually talk to people. (hehe.. big jump) Anyway.. so what can you do? You can start talking to girls or boys that you like, and continue with your life... but thats been discussed to death already... what I'd really like to talk about is the effects of being a geek of a different sub-faction... (now I really am going to go off on a tangent) So now that I've had my time playing with social skills, I've gained a group of techie friends who're also artists, rivetheads and goths... (yeah i'm one of em). So now I have a chance to look at geeks from the outside. Occasionally I'll meet some nerdish looking geek and get to talking about some computer related material... It usually takes a bit of convincing on my part to make the other party realize that I know what I'm talking about. My appearance tends to set me apart from what might classify as a stereotypical geek... and I can see how geeks treat non-geeks for those few moments... Its a big awkward situation, even chatting... So in effect, my social skills caused my interests to expand, caused me to ditch my blue jeans and sneakers for combat boots and a bull-ring in my nose.. but I'm still a geek! r0r.. So geeks should at least try to pick up enough social skills to be more able to locate others in their locale... and yeah.. as a side affect, you'll probably end up with a girlfriend, or boyfriend... maybe even both. -harm oh yeah... and I said I'd give the number for that bbs I used to live on..... Henry's Hallucination 925-825-5864 925-827-5958 925-691-1486 |
| I know exactly one thing about women (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @05:29PM EST (#363) |
| I don't know much about women. I don't understand them - their bodies, their actions, nothing. I don't care really, I get along okay, and it is because of one simple rule that has served me all my life. It is simply this: NEVER EVER EVER EVER say to a girl "touching the back of your hand makes me feel warm inside". NEVER. Don't even consider it. That is the worst, WORST, worst, so so bad, never ever ever ever say that. I honestly think if you said that to 100 girls, and said "wanna fuck?" to 100 you would do equally well with "wanna fuck?" or better (depending on one million things that depend on your bathing habits), but oh my god, never ever say that. I have been with some very nice, sweet, accepting women in my life, including primary schoolteachers and earth-loving sweet vegans, but if I had ever said that line to any of them I think for sure their answer would have either been a nervous look of disgust or maybe a "andrew, that was so super gay" comment. Please Uncle Robin, watch what you tell these guys! Bad bad bad line. ANDREW! |
| Interesting, ... but (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:02PM EST (#375) |
The only thing I can conclude from reading all these posts and comparing it to the "real" world is that the must be a lot of "sluts" out there. I say this because too many female teenagers are getting pregnant and too many single unmarried adult professional women are getting pregnant. What happened to the "good ole days" of shot-gun marriages. Roblimo, we need your advice on these "kind" of women, too. I say, avoid them at all costs. |
| Chicks Dig Jerks (Score:1) by DrMaurer (DrMaure@ilstu.eduSPAM) on Sunday October 24, @05:40PM EST (#370) (User Info) http://www.ilstu.edu/~drmaure |
| But, seriously, there's a bunch of stereotypes in the article (male and female), and for good reason. They're usually true. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, you're different, and so am I, but 99% of people are normal stupid people. They're all individuals, like everyone else (I'm not!). Take, for instance, my experiences last night. It was a rave-type thing, I suppose, but this presented several problems: I don't dance (well, it's because i dance badly). I am engaged. It's been too long since I've seen my S.O. I have trouble with platonic friendships, so even that was out of the question. All and all, this led to some rather interesting things last night, but the most relevent one here is I watched a LOT of people. No-one went after the women I found attractive (and I could tell other men/women [what did you expect, a homogenious hetrosexual event?] did agree with me on the attractive part). Awww. I don't know why I feel this is relevent. But stereotypes exist for reasons. We'd go insane if it wasn't for the catigorization that we do. I'm not saying that it doesn't suck when we apply it to groups of people, but those feelings are there because of experiences (skewed or not). Okay, I'm sorry if that didn't make any sense whatsoever. Dan. -- Start sig -- http://www.ilstu.edu/~drmaure is the CPCC, and http://www.ilstu.edu/~drmaure/me/ is MY page. |
| I will try this. (Score:1) by Nexeslad on Sunday October 24, @06:12PM EST (#384) (User Info) |
| I've never had a date in my life. Never anything that resembeled a date. I will follow these rules and court a female. (I'm 17) If this works I will right back Priasing Robin and building a shrine in his name that reflects my feelings of love for the man. If it dosen't work? Aw well nothing lost. |
| You forgot about obsessiveness. (Score:1) by nin981 (nin981@javanet.com) on Sunday October 24, @06:15PM EST (#386) (User Info) |
| That pisses all people off! |
| Left out one thing (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:15PM EST (#387) |
| Everyone is an expert on the same issue, but no one actually can give a straight answer on picking up women in the first place. As a college student who usually has at least one large lecture class a semester, I play around with flirting a LOT. After a couple of years, I still don't know what I'm doing. Every time I make a breakthrough, I find myself confused and I can't progress through the next phase without lots more practice. For instance, if I flirt with a girl and she ends up coming up to me and talking to me.. throwing signals.. I tend to catch them, but be totally useless at finding out the next step until after I fudge it all up. Bring back the cave man days where a person was simply hit on the head when another person likes them. That's a signal I can read. There is too much fear in asking someone out. Which sucks. |
| From experience, I agree (Score:1) by Da VinMan (VincePlatt@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @06:30PM EST (#392) (User Info) |
| I just have to say that, from experience, I find the basic thrust of his posting to be true. I can not say that I agree with all of the implied generalizations about women/SOs in general, but the approach is correct. How do I know this? We've been married over 5 years now, and just adopted a baby daughter. No, we're not perfect. The relationship is not perfect, but that's perfectly fine, because we're both happy. Everyone: you could do a lot worse than following the advise Roblimo offered. Just my 2 cents. |
| Re:From experience, I agree (Score:1) by trekkie2001 on Sunday October 24, @07:04PM EST (#411) (User Info) |
| I think everyone has to understand its not always going to be perfect, and thats what breaks up alot of relationships. |
| True love: The key is here (Score:1) by Micah (yeah@right) on Sunday October 24, @06:32PM EST (#393) (User Info) |
| *sigh* Roblimo and so many others here seem to be after love to see what they can *get* out of it, not what they can give back to it. Here is the key to real love: *AHEM* If I speak in the tounges of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and have a faith that can move a mountain, I am nothing. If I give all I posess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love NEVER fails. So... is *your* relationship like that??? |
| Great advice... (Score:1) by spectecjr (spectec@getwired.com) on Sunday October 24, @06:43PM EST (#394) (User Info) http://home.earthlink.net/~simoncooke |
| It's all wonderful advice... the other things to remember are: Get yourself out into social situations. Become a regular at a bar. Go to parties. Act as a listener, rather than a broadcaster - you're much more interesting if you're asking people about themselves, as they're on familiar ground, and know a lot about that stuff :) It also lets them open up and gives you more chance for conversation - which is great if you're shy. People don't tend to be interested in people who aren't interested in them :) Other things: There's an element of risk in everything. If a girl is looking deep into your eyes, and brushing her hair back, and seems to be... expecting something, then touch her. You'll find out quickly enough if that touch was uninvited. And I don't mean touch her in a sexual way - just touch her arm, or rub her back lightly. Basically - trust your instincts. Don't worry about being wrong too much. (Difficult for a geek, I know). Also, it's not binary. There are millions of shades of gray in real human interaction - the trick is to learn to accept that and go with it, rather than to reduce everything down to if/else clauses. :) Simon |
| Real geeks don't need women (Score:1) by key nell on Sunday October 24, @06:43PM EST (#395) (User Info) |
| If you were a real "geek" you would be smart enough not to waste your time with relationships. "All I have to do is jerk and all of you go away" -Leisuretown |
| cut the BS (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @06:47PM EST (#399) |
| The only way to get women is to treat them like dirt. Nice guys finish last. Trust me, I am not very good looking and basically a leech. I usta be a nice guy and treated women well, and they just used me. Then I wised up and started treating them like sh*t. Never call them, let them call you. The thing is if you treat a woman great all the time she comes to expect it and is pissed if you dont keep it up. But if you are a jerk 99% of the time and treat them nice 1% of the time they think they can change you. |
| Amen (Score:1) by geek on Sunday October 24, @07:01PM EST (#408) (User Info) http://thumpin.net |
| Amen to that brother. I can't count how many women treated me like shit when I was nice to them, however anytime I show no interest in a women or display any type of moody behavior (basically everything women say they hate) I get laid on a regular basis. |
| Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:1) by trekkie2001 on Sunday October 24, @06:56PM EST (#404) (User Info) |
| Anyone have any good ideas for us younger people 13-15. Ive never dated anyone :( Trekkie |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:1) by Micah (yeah@right) on Sunday October 24, @07:20PM EST (#416) (User Info) |
| Yeah - WAIT. You don't NEED to date yet. Seriously. Not being rude, it's just the truth. Just be friends with them and wait until you're old enough to drive. :-) I'm 25 and have never dated anyone. And I'm reasonably happy! |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:40PM EST (#426) |
| "I'm 25 and have never dated anyone. And I'm reasonably happy!" I don't know why, but I would trust advice from this guy as much as someone who'd tell me "I've been running NT for years! And I'm reasonably happy." Duh. Men are not meant to be celibate. For the freaks who believe otherwise, there's still the Vatican though. |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:1) by trekkie2001 on Sunday October 24, @08:07PM EST (#437) (User Info) |
| Yeah, now can i get some real advice? |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:1) by Micah (yeah@right) on Sunday October 24, @08:31PM EST (#446) (User Info) |
| That *was* real advice. You don't have to wait till you're 25. But you don't have to focus on that yet. You have LOTS of time! Sure, I'd love it if the Right One(tm) came along. But until then I'm making the most of life as it is. |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:1) by DrHannibalLecter42 (paracelsus_kestrel@email.com) on Sunday October 24, @10:05PM EST (#484) (User Info) |
| As a geekgirl involved with a geekguy (and both of us are 14), my best advice is to become friends with a potential S.O. before moving on. Myself and the Anonymous Geekguy were (and are) best friends before we stepped it up a notch. -- "Sorry, can't go, I've already been to hell...they sent me back." |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:1) by Micah (yeah@right) on Monday October 25, @12:45AM EST (#558) (User Info) |
| Right on. It should start with friendship in any case. I *would* advise to not get serious until at least 16-18 though. At your ages, get to be good friends. You don't need to worry about SOs yet! |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:31PM EST (#522) |
| The right one is never going to come along. You are making excuses for being a spineless coward. If you believe you can gain anything without effort then you are living in a fantasy world. Maybe its for the better you don't pass your genes on. |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:1) by Micah (yeah@right) on Monday October 25, @12:48AM EST (#559) (User Info) |
| I've had my share of chickening out of good opportunities, that's for sure. I'm not recommending that. All I'm doing is saying that 14 year olds shouldn't be looking for a wife! Clear enough? :-) |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @08:36PM EST (#447) |
| if you go by the name "trekkie" chances are you're gonna end up like the last guy |
| join drama group (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:54PM EST (#536) |
| Drama babes are the best! If you can't act, work as a stage manager or lighting guy. |
| Re:Dates for us younger geeks. (Score:1) by Harri on Monday October 25, @07:31AM EST (#625) (User Info) |
| Yep. Get involved with activities where you are likely to meet women. Enjoy the company of the people there. If you get on with some of them (of either gender) then try and do stuff with them outside of wherever you met them. Talk to them, and get to know them. If you're anything like I was at your age, then the line is blurred between "dating" and just having a female friend that you hang round with. Oh and bear in mind that if you (like a lot of guys) like younger women, they might not be up for anything more yet and might be revolted (or scared) at the idea of this happening with ANYONE, not just you. And, females your age that you get on with (but don't want to date) are probably good sources of further advice, which will be more suited to you than that of Slashdot posters who don't know you. |
| Hey Robin! It's Me, MIKE! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:00PM EST (#407) |
| Hey Robin, you @#@&!! Now you tell me you had eyes for Jessica heh? I'll kill you man!!! :) BTW, her boobs are silly-cone implants. That's why they came so late and so fast. :) :) |
| Chicks like bad boys (Score:2, Insightful) by geek on Sunday October 24, @07:07PM EST (#413) (User Info) http://thumpin.net |
| Plain and simple, if you're a good guy you'll be a virgin for life. I've been with my share of women, I have a daughter who is almost three now, but if I had been a nice guy I would still be a virgin and single with no children. True story here: Me and some buddies went to a party freshman year (college), the whole night was pretty lame everyone was looking for something better to do. I noticed these two bi-chicks sitting at a table in the backyard. I simply approached and asked "Wanna fuck?" and both said yes, immediately. Moral of the story here guys is chicks are just like us, they get horny and they like challenges as much as they like one night stands. Nice chicks don't get laid anymore than nice guys. |
| WOW! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:28PM EST (#418) |
| Dude, first off, mad props for like... being one of the first members of the male species to openly respect females on /. Not that the rest of us don't, but like, this is doing it in a precident (spelled wrong... where's that damned dictionary) setting manner. Secondly, if any of you guys out there are thinking to yourself "Yeah right, that'll never work." You're flat out wrong. I'm the happiest now I've ever been, because I did all of these things, and it worked. Bottom line, if it doesn't work, she's not worth the effort. Move on. Thanks for listening to my ranting and raving. I am a registered lunatic. Jer' |
| heh, Respected Cow-Orker (Score:1) by DJ Easy Dick (khag@*****tein.net) on Sunday October 24, @07:40PM EST (#427) (User Info) http://www.tein.net/~khag/ |
| I just had to point that out, in the end, the link (cmdrtaco.net), Respected Coworker. Just place a dash, and you've got: Respected Cow-Orker! DJ Eeeeeeeeeeasy Dick |
| I'm Not an "Old Fasioned Girl"... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @07:43PM EST (#428) |
| ...but my computer geek boyfriend loves me anyway. I've read a couple other comments about this, but I strongly feel that two brilliant, passionate people can be in a fulfilling relationship. (I'm flattering myself here.) It's a matter of being considerate toward each other, and being tolerant of the other's eccentricities. Maybe it helps that I'm not an all out computer nerd, I'm more of an engineering/design nerd. (The diff? I can draw blueprints by hand if AutoCAD crashes.) I seriously doubt, however, that that is a key difference that makes our relationship work. I don't get the impression that because I can't fix all of my network problems that I'm the mothering type, and that's why my relationship works. I suspect that my demanding side is just as important to our relationship as my mothering side. A geek boyfriend can be a challenge, but I admit that I am also a challenge. No, I don't demand that my boyfriend wash my dishes, wear funny clothes, learn to ballroom dance, and obey my every command, I just subconciously expect him to meet my needs. If he didn't, I would probably bend to his will for a few weeks before figuring out why I was unhappy and try to work it out with him. It works both ways, we both try to make the other happy without killing ourselves, and we have extreme success. If the demands on both sides are reasonable, you don't have to change your personality, get new friends, or even give up computers. We're both M.I.T. students, so we don't always have a lot of free time to lavish on each other, but a little bit of care on both sides makes the days that much brighter. |
| The Geek Girl's Ideal Geek Guy. (Score:1) by hypatia on Sunday October 24, @07:43PM EST (#429) (User Info) |
| This is the general prescription of What women want: a smooth talker, a fantastic dresser, interesting, have a sense of humour, not at all shy or awkward, incredibly mature, extraordinarily intelligent, marvelously sensitive and also extremely nice to girls who are less than perfect. Most guys could get a girl just from that description alone. But for those of you who aren't convinced by Roblimo's argument about non-geek women, here is a specific guide to The Man a Geek Girl Wants:
I guess that's about it... |
| Re:The Geek Girl's Ideal Geek Guy. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @06:39AM EST (#618) |
| ROTFL! Sounds exactly like the list my geek-girl SO might want, and what I try to live up to :) Always nice to see the requirements doc though ;) "Couples who hack code together, stay together" 7 years of living proof |
| Re:The Geek Girl's Ideal Geek Guy. (Score:1) by TGR (reaper@eviljohn.net) on Saturday October 30, @08:15PM EST (#772) (User Info) |
| Someone who'll let her win at Quake. All the time. Oh, that's going to happen, sure... If a chick wants to gloat over me for winning a match, she's going to work for it. Then at least she can feel she's earned it, not just feel "oh, he let me win to make me feel better". Someone who will put off sex for a couple more minutes to discuss the intricacies of debugging their latest program. That can possibly be arranged, but see next case. Unless we want sex instead, in which case, be ready. What guy ISN'T ready? :) Someone who gives us root password on their box. We'll give you your root password if you'll give us yours :) Someone who lets us change root password on their box so that we're the only one who knows it. We'll let you change the root password on your box if you'll let us change root password on yours. Gotta be fair, you know :) Someone who is less complicated then a computer, takes up less time, and less maintenence, and is all to willing to maintain our computers, and us, any time, day or night. Whadda you mean, less complicated than a computer? the computer is the least complicated piece of equipment you'll get! garbage in -> garbage out :) Less time? Less maintenance? we MAKE time, and we maintain ourselves, thankyouverymuch :) You maintain us, we maintain you. The computer'll have to see to its own needs :) An Open Source guy, all transparent nice simple coding, but not GPLed - none of this freely distributable stuff. Aww, and i wanted to share my wisdom with other people. *sniff* :) -m 99 little bugs in the code, |
| Re:The Geek Girl's Ideal Geek Guy. (Score:1) by hypatia on Sunday October 31, @06:36PM EST (#773) (User Info) |
| Oh, that's going to happen, sure... If a chick wants to gloat over me for winning a match, she's going to work for it. Then at least she can feel she's earned it, not just feel "oh, he let me win to make me feel better". Fair enough. As long as you give her plenty of practice she might (might) concede the point. Being good at Quake is a surprisingly effective way to impress geek guys. With some of them it seems you've shattered their most fundamental prejudice against women - 'woman no Quake'. With the others - they just appreciate a good game. Either way, pretty damn fun way to make new friends. |
| Re:The Geek Girl's Ideal Geek Guy. (Score:1) by TGR (reaper@eviljohn.net) on Monday November 01, @10:38AM EST (#774) (User Info) |
| Fair enough. As long as you give her plenty of practice she might (might) concede the point. Being good at Quake is a surprisingly effective way to impress geek guys. With some of them it seems you've shattered their most fundamental prejudice against women - 'woman no Quake'. Heh, my gf is actually not just beating me in Quake, she's wiping the floor, the roof AND the walls with my ass, almost every time I play against her. I get the occasional lucky shot in, but usually, it's a one-sided match. *sigh* :) How about being nice to guys, and letting them win? :) -m 99 little bugs in the code, |
| Re:The Geek Girl's Ideal Geek Guy. (Score:1) by hypatia on Monday November 01, @06:21PM EST (#775) (User Info) |
| How about being nice to guys, and letting them win? :) Could happen... but my post was a guys' guide to what girls want. The guy wishlist didn't figure. I guess all relationships must be a compromise between the two... even maybe when it comes to Quake. I guess Roblimo left "and find a woman who goes easy with nailguns/rocket launchers/BFGs" out of his feature. |
| Re:The Geek Girl's Ideal Geek Guy. (Score:1) by TGR (reaper@eviljohn.net) on Tuesday November 02, @05:45PM EST (#776) (User Info) |
| "even maybe when it comes to Quake", eh? That's just as important as anything else, since during a Quake deathmatch things get rather heated... so if someone constantly wins (being either the chick or the guy, doesn't matter), and there is NO hope whatsoever of the other person getting any better, some tact is most likely required. However, I'm not saying "share wins 50-50". Since my gf is better than me, she beats the shit outta me regularly. However, I do manage to sneak up on her occasionally, and kill her in a way that makes her go "wow, impressive". Or is that just her being tactful? Hmm... :) There's one problem with his feature, and your response (and mine, for that matter)... point of view. It's difficult to set oneself into someone elses' perspective, and that won't change. So no matter who writes an article on how the sexes should treat one another, it will most likely be slated more one way instead of another. My view? Even tho my gf spanks me most of the times, I don't really want it any other way. It gives me a challenge, something to try to better, and that makes me a better player. She, too, has to keep on her toes because I'm always hounding her. Of course, if she were to let me kill her once or twice (heh, that sounds worse than it really is) because she feels sorry for me isn't that bad, given it's not hidden too badly. Her being TOO nice to me all the time, however, would make me lazier in the long run. It may give me more satisfaction there and then, but in the long run I'd lose out. In short, I like a good fight, as long as it's not too one-sided. -m 99 little bugs in the code, |
| Top Ten Reason why Geek-Girls are better! (Score:1) by seer on Sunday October 24, @07:58PM EST (#435) (User Info) |
| 10. There's a good chance she does as much drugs as you do! 9. Who else is going to help you flesh out those object methods for free? 8. Double your sci-fi, fantasy, RPG, movie collection! 7. GeekGirls understand _why_ you must be in front of the computer for so long. 6. Two IT incomes to pay for new home hardware. 5. Geek Girls like self-refrence as much as you do (see number five) 4. You can know for sure that no one other that Geek Girls will understand you fully (not just put up with you) 3. Your friends will be impressed when they see her code! 2. She'll like being in touch via cell, ICQ, email, pager, webcam, ad infinitum 1. When she takes off her glasses, it's time for sex! |
| Re:Top Ten Reason why Geek-Girls are better! (Score:1) by trekkie2001 on Sunday October 24, @08:13PM EST (#439) (User Info) |
| I guess I would have to agree. Your reasons are really good. Sorry Roblimo but geek girls are just best. trekkie |
| Thanks, Rob! (Score:1) by YoJ on Sunday October 24, @07:59PM EST (#436) (User Info) |
My girlfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago. This article was exactly what I needed to hear. It is guy-talk at its finest. Based on my own experience, this article matches with reality pretty closely. The biggest mistake 'geek' guys make is not catching social signals. They either over- or under-interpret things. Thank you for the cool article RobLimo! Although maybe it should have included the disclaimer, "FOR GUYS ONLY!" If women only knew what guys REALLY thought... |
| Geek girls (Score:1) by jonojono on Sunday October 24, @08:14PM EST (#440) (User Info) |
I just read this article re: geeks finding women and I had to struggle to not gag myself with my index finger. Why the hell wouldn't a geek girl be just about the perfect match for a lovelorn geek guy? Speaking as a geek guy, I can honestly say that one of the reasons I find my fiancee attractive is that she and I can converse about the same interesting subjects. I can come home and talk to her about different releases of Solaris and she'll know what I'm talking about, and conversely, she can talk to me about her PERL/PHP projects and I'll understand what they're for. In fact, she's probably more of a geek than I am--she reads more SF, posts to more internet newsgroups, and all-around is more educated than I am. And I feel absolutely no competition from her because of her technical knowledge. Also, why should anyone specifically feel the need to seek out a woman who does things like cook, run bath water, etc, when in a healthy relationship, both parties should share those duties. I don't know about the other readers here, but my fiancee and I pretty much both cook, both run the bath water, both give each other backrubs, and both look over each others' PERL code. Also, the article mentions "The best way to handle conversation with a woman..." Well duh, that's common sense with any person--you listen to THEM! And if their interests happen to be computers, well then you've hit the jackpot and you can talk about things like run levels, software piracy, and how MAC addresses are allocated. I just don't think the author is giving enough geek guys credit--maybe not even himself. Why settle for someone who isn't the perfect match merely because you're worried that she'll be competition for you? Oh yeah, and the assertion that it's pointless to persue the attractive females because they're not geeks is also incorrect. My fiancee is a six foot tall blonde babe who sits around all day coding naked. |
| Nerd != Caveman (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @08:25PM EST (#445) |
| How did he find his wife anyways... Hit her with his club and drag her back to his cave? and the 'holy-crap-look-at-jennifer-now-i'm-so-sorry-i-wasn't-nice-to-bad-so-sad' thing.. I hope his wife doesn't see that, and if she does, I hope she gets pissed-off. Like sleep-on-the-couch-pissed-off. I got 'I guess my wife will do, boy I sure miss jennifer' from that. I may of read that wrong but that sounded REALLY shallow. 'Go find yourself an old fashoned woman'? like before equal rights? Word of the day #1 'Partnership' A marrige/relationship is supposed to be a partnership, not some sort of indentured servitude. When I see the dishes need to be done, I clean them. When my wife sees that the dishes need to be done, she cleans them. I wonder if he ever rubs her shoulders? Word of the day #2 'Unconditional' I don't love my wife because of what she does for me, her appearance, breast size, how many guys come up to me and say 'woah!', or that she puts up with me... I unconditionally love her, because I just do. You don't need to act a special way to attract a (wo)man, it set's up the 'relationship' on a lie. Just be you. You are wonderfull just the way you are, and someone will figure that out. |
| Remarkably sexist. (Score:1) by Lx (lx at hellstunas.org) on Sunday October 24, @08:40PM EST (#451) (User Info) http://lx.dcwi.com |
| Ok, so the idea here is to find a woman that has no consuming interests of her own, like computers, because she'll have less time to spend taking care of her guy? Because she won't "brush you off" when reading slasdot like you apparently would? Women to take over basic responsibilities like cooking food and running our bathwater? A woman who believes your work is so important and vital to humanity that she'll wait on you hand and foot? Of course, for actual intelligent conversation(about computing, of course), we'll have to go to our male friends, who can comprehend such matters. There's nothing wrong with geek girls. My girlfriend isn't a hardcore geek, but she knows more about vi than I do, prefers unix to any other OS, and is a reasonably respected geoscientist. I don't have to leave the house to talk about technology, and she doesn't have to leave to talk about science. How about this. Treat a woman as another human being, not just a complement to yourself, or a vibrator and kitchen appliance. Women have their own interests, needs, and need to have their own shoulders rubbed and food cooked for them sometimes. And their work is just as important as your own. I'm sure you can find a woman who will let you treat her as a second-class human being, but that's not going to lead to a fulfilling relationship. -lx -- BeDev ID #19497 Score = number of replies, as far as I'm concerned. |
| A digest of my comments... (Score:1) by Kit Lo on Sunday October 24, @08:54PM EST (#454) (User Info) http://www.ultinet.net/~kitlo/ |
| Is it Just me, or is everybody in any given area or situation is showing off how they love each other in the most "in-your-face" of ways as a conspiracy? I have seen too many people "bragging" about how they have someone to love by doing anything short of making out in public to make me bitter about myself? Oh well, here goes the things for Roblimo to read... Regarding Roblimo's words: Don't Waste Your Time on Geek Girls: How am I supposed to do so, while a big chunk of the women in the college I attend mistakens me for somebody more messed-up or they're more messed-up themselves. None of them will recognize me as a computer enthusiast or a budding theatre person, but only as a "freak for the ZBT fraternity guys to pick on." Either that, or they're too young for me to like (they're freshmen, and I'm a junior!? Ecch!). There's More to Life Than Computing: I don't know... I really don't know how to take the (if conflicting) interests of others. I am a person who is into a bit of anything (theatre, computers, computer games, and other forms of art), but I don't take certain things well (day-time and evening soap operas, pop artists with three-day half-lives, etc.). Teenagers Take Heart: It Gets Better: It's a great idea to put this in, for the fact that no one should assume anything about anybody else too hastily. This golden rule is too late for me nowadays, because I have been picked on by everybody in a "Hellmouth" long enough to have my blood made bitter. Wait a minute, I do have an admiration thing for women like Ute Lemper, Wendy Liebman, and so on to "protect" the semblance of my mind... I have to fix that as well. -- And now: Something from the creative side of my brain: For my brain's source code -- a worklog of sorts: Note: The "person" object in these worklogs only apply for person.gender == "female," for my sexual_orientation == "heterosexual" && gender == "male". The functions are within the categories of things to do for finding the right woman. 1. The source code for the Just_dont_give_a_fsck(person) function for the use of people who pissed me off is somewhat working, written after having a fascinating conversation with some actress by the name of Ruthie Henshall and gaining a moment of clarity right at the corner of 45th and Broadway. With a little bit of tweaking, it can be fully utilized for anybody else. 2. The function bob_bastard(void) (Invoked when ask_out_to_date(person) returns a "no" answer from said person -- written after watching the Dilbert TV show with the character of the same name), which changes the person.likes_you value to "no" for all persons in an array (from the college, from the whole city, from the whole planet, etc.), must be removed from source code ASAP. Anything else that bob_bastard will change should be taken care of. 3. The threshold within women_i_would_love_to_hang_out_with might've been cranked up too high (last known to be an "unreachable" person like "Ute Lemper," "Wendy Liebman," or "Ruthie Henshall"). This problem must be addressed as well quickly! 4. Figure out how free() is used for any of the malloc(sizeof(person)) instances to "forget" about the person who rejected me. If not, use Just_dont_give_a_fsck(person) to do a more thorough method to free() memories of said person. Otherwise, the leaked memory might cause bob_bastard to act even worse. 5. A better social skills-related API should be used. Something that is as thorough as the API used to make talking with Ruthie Henshall possible, but with more scope in terms of the types of persons that one can talk to (besides people who is known to be "unreachable") and does not involve the use of irrational fears. 6. Resist the tempation to edit the if/then clause for the determine_age(person) function in the determine_if_my_type(person) function. I ain't datin' anybody younger than myself!!! 7. If necessary, fix the bug that makes a person.age to be subtracted ten years if they're around my age. A young woman (18, 19 whatnot) should not be mistaken for 8- to 9-year old girls. 8. Last, but not least, leave the ethical subroutines alone!!! Most men ditch this stuff, but I shouldn't. |
| Great article, and OH so true! (Score:1) by Krezel (krezel@mindless.nospam.com) on Sunday October 24, @09:11PM EST (#460) (User Info) http://www.yourmom.net/krezel/ |
| Awesome article, rules every geek should live by. I find myself saying "Why do the good guys lose out all the time?", but we all have to realize that the good guy only loses out until he finds a good girl. In high school the shorter, smarter, deeper guys often get screwed over in favor of the football players, but that only lasts until they find a short, deep girl of their own. I've got mine, and I'm not letting go! BTW, I too dated a shallow, large breasted hottie for 4 months this spring... Don't follow in my footsteps. Good lay, but a very expensive, headache causing, annoying, arrogant lay.. :) Krezel http://www.yourmom.net/krezel/ |
| 4 of the same poll? (Score:1) by chocolatetrumpet (jon@ilb.dyndns.com) on Sunday October 24, @09:32PM EST (#465) (User Info) http://ilb.dyndns.com/jon |
| Why are there 4 of the same "Women..." polls.. Did everyone just randomly choose one, and it happened to become a popular one? Am I seeing quadroople? --I'll show you mine if you show me yours!-- |
| The basics (Score:1) by fhwang on Sunday October 24, @09:35PM EST (#467) (User Info) http://www.echonyc.com/~fhwang |
Not sure how much of Roblimo's post is serious, but I felt like weighing in. Regardless of whether you're going to end up with a geek girlfriend or a less tech-obsessed girlfriend, having a decent romantic relationship -- a good relationship with anyone, really, whether a friend or a relative or a lover -- really only hinges on a couple of fundamentals:
They might sound a little cliched, but I sincerely believe that any little rules that can't be derived from those are either superfluous or just plain wrong. Francis Hwang |
| Can someone help me ? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @09:40PM EST (#470) |
| Ok firstly I would like to say "Wow" I can't believe so many people are flaming this article ! It was never intended to be the "be-all and end-all" relationship guide, it seems to me that he is just posting his advice/experiences to /. for people to read and maybe, gain some knowledge from it (good or bad). Now onto what I am posting for, some help !!! I am a 19 year old male, I admit to being a nerd. I currently work for a major web site company in Australia. I spend most of my time behind a computer, 8am-6pm @ work, then a few hours after work everyday (generally still doing work related things). Now I hear some posts that have been made about that maybe nerds should get out more and try and meets girls etc. Well I do this, Im constantly using my limited free time to go out with friends who currently go to University (College) I meet people, I am a friendly person (abeit sometimes my physical facial expression doesn't show that, oh well, can't help genetics). I meet nice girls I just never seem to keep there interest. I also go to 'rave' parties, (here is other end of my the social life i lead) now, I don't take drugs, I do strictly go for the music, Im not a shy person when it comes to dancing, yet I never meet anyone when I go out to these places. Now my question is.. I socialize at all levels (this includes work, I often meet many chicks through business meetings etc.) So why can't I meet a woman ? I think that the article posted was informative, I wish more people would give me advice on how to meet chicks and how to keep there attention, at least this article was something that wasn't of the usual response to these sorts of questions. So anyone out there wants to give me advice on chicks... I'll take it gladly. I can use all the good/bad information on the topic I can get. |
| Re:Can someone help me ? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:40PM EST (#532) |
| Try a science-fiction or creative anachronism society. -A geek girl |
| Re:Can someone help me ? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:49PM EST (#534) |
| Geeee You make it sound like I'm not serious :-(! |
| comment from a vexed geekgirl (Score:1) by photondancer on Sunday October 24, @09:43PM EST (#472) (User Info) |
| The sexism of Roblimo's article is depressing but familiar. He claims to be giving advice on getting a wife but, in fact, just babbles on about how to pick who'll be good in bed and how to get her there. Naturally all us women are so stupid that if you just keep your eyes and hands off our boobs long enough, we'll assume you must really like us for ourselves and rip our clothes for you. Notice also that despite Roblimo's wife sweetly drawing his bath for him every day, he never once mentions what he does for HER - in fact he never even mentions the CONCEPT that he might do something in return. How can he when he's locked up making love to his computer all day and night? Does it occur to him that his wife might be just a little bored and lonely during those periods? Roblimo compares himself to an artist - try reading a few artists' biographies and see just how long their relationships tended to last. Yes, I'm a woman and I work as a system support-admin. I guess this makes me the kind of competitive geekgirl Roblimo waves crosses at. And guess what? I've given up on geek guys because in my experience, they're just as sexist and insulting as Roblimo. I don't fall for guys plodding their way through step-by-step formulae on how to get me into bed any more than I fall for guys with sleazy pickup lines. And any guy who expects me to draw his bath while he doesn't do a single damned thing for me (and this is REALLY common) gets booted out of my life pronto. I don't care how brilliant-but-shy you are, I will not be your drudge. It's good to see that a few slashdotters have picked up on these points but depressing to see how many more have hailed Roblimo's formula as a godsend. Just try treating us as human beings! Why is that so damned difficult for men? |
| Re:comment from a vexed geekgirl (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:59PM EST (#539) |
| Speaking bluntly... Top five things men usually want: 1. A servant 2. A performer in bed 3. An audience to bitch about stuff 4. A status symbol for buddies 5. A servant Whose fault is it that women want something else? Certainly not men's! |
| Re:comment from a vexed geekgirl (Score:1) by delphina (delphina@!spam.dethstar.net) on Monday October 25, @12:33AM EST (#553) (User Info) http://www.dethstar.net |
| damn straight. follow his rules, get a bimbo. probably all some of these guys could handle, if that, anyway. personally, i'm a geek girl with a geek guy and we love each other totally. most geek guys don't have the maturity to understand that women are people, not objects, so in the sea of all these lovely stereotypes and prejudices, i'm glad my jon and i found each other. |
| Yet More Wishful Thinking Love Advice (Score:2, Insightful) by RomulusNR on Sunday October 24, @09:45PM EST (#474) (User Info) http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/romulus |
| In my mostly unsuccessful quests to enter into relationships and find romantic satisfaction, I have, as have most of you I imagine, encountered all manner of Love Advice, in all cases targeted, naturally, to those who haven't been able to find what the author has clearly already found -- namely, Love. And in all cases, all such Love Advice has the following characteristics: - It attempts to allay fears that there is something wrong with the reader, while trying to appeal to their nagging fear that they are doing something wrong, or looking in the wrong place. - It suggests that the solution to the reader's problem is quite simple, even if it suggests that some sort of "hard work" is involved (adding to the reader's likely sense of social ineptitude). - It brags about the author's ability to succeed where the reader has failed (adding to the reader's likely sense of futility and bad luck). More importantly, - It is written by someone who did not need any Love Advice of this sort in order to so succeed, and above all, - It either isn't applicable to the reader's situation, or it plain doesn't work at all. The further implications of the second to last point is that although the author thinks, through his own experience, that he has found The Answer which eludes all others. The reality is that the Love Advice written is an introspection of the author's own desires, and is a well-meant but misleading attempt to take that which worked for the author, in his situation and environment, and generalize it so that it can apply to others. This is never successful, in that what worked for the author, is quite unlikely to ever work for anyone else. ob.antithesis: No one ever writes "Advice for the Lovelorn _Girl._" Irked once again, Romulus |
| Re:Yet More Wishful Thinking Love Advice (Score:1) by deeny (deirdre@deirdre.org) on Monday October 25, @05:34AM EST (#611) (User Info) http://www.deirdre.net |
| I'm reminded of the line from Tom Lehrer (about his friend Hen3ry): "He was always giving helpful advice to people who were happier than he was." Oh, and you're wrong about the lovelorn girl angle: http://www.chickmagnet.org _Deirdre |
| Re:Yet More Wishful Thinking Love Advice (Score:1) by RomulusNR on Monday October 25, @10:12PM EST (#715) (User Info) http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/romulus |
| Oh, and you're wrong about the lovelorn girl angle: http://www.chickmagnet.org I dont see any words there, but the titles I see are: "Your Friend is Welcome at Our Party" and "I Will Never Be as Romantic As He Is" ...sounds like advice for girls who are un-single. Not what I was talking about... Rom |
| Re:Yet More Wishful Thinking Love Advice (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @09:26PM EST (#713) |
| > No one ever writes "Advice for the Lovelorn _Girl._" This is because girls are beautiful and affectionate creatures and need no help finding love, while men are hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day. Get used to it. Being male sucks. Haven't you noticed that male-bashing is not only socially acceptable, but now quite fashionable? Heaven forbid anyone even think of doing the converse. |
| Thanx for the help (Score:1) by Energy Flow on Sunday October 24, @10:13PM EST (#488) (User Info) |
| To think, all this time I've been running around the streets of downtown with my shirt over my head resiting the HOWTOS in that I memorized from A-Z and it's a bad way to get girls. "Hey, I'm not a nerd just because I left my wife for a better computer." |
| Great article (Score:1) by TraCer00t on Sunday October 24, @10:22PM EST (#492) (User Info) http://core.dynip.com |
| Had more than a few chuckles, and what's funniest is that it's pretty much all true :) |
| Poor Debbie (Score:1) by Admiral Lazzurs (lazzursadmin@netscapeonline.co.uk) on Sunday October 24, @10:30PM EST (#500) (User Info) http://www.lazzursadmin.co.uk |
| I Hope all the people who have posted replies about how un-loved Debbie is are ashamed of themself's. I hope that it did not give the author too much hassle at home because it was a great post. If you are going to shoot me you better hit first time - ARL If you are going to shoot me you better hit the first time - ARL |
| refreshing! (Score:1) by claudia (claudia@unbounded.org) on Sunday October 24, @10:36PM EST (#502) (User Info) |
| what an absolutely refreshing take on the state of modern relationships! it is always great to see someone write an article about how to treat another person as a human being (whether male or female). i do have to admit though i'm half of a geek couple. it can and does work, but is much more difficult than being in a "normal" (non-geek) relationship (which may mean the rewards can be greater). it's important to have no talk of work, software, or hardware in at least one room of the house and *absolutely* have one non-computer oriented night together. what helps the most though is that one person love to cook so you at least manage to feed your brains properly. cheers to the author! |
| robs wife (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:38PM EST (#503) |
| heres a pic of Debbie. http://members.home.net/roblimo/inside.jpg |
| Statistics vs. Desires (Score:1) by Ichoran on Sunday October 24, @10:48PM EST (#507) (User Info) |
| The most obvious thing that occurs to me, upon reading this article and /. in general, is that not everyone here can "get" geek girls. The ratio of female to male posters here is no more than 1:10. As much as you and I might wish to the contrary, those aren't very good odds[1]. (At least not without some pretty serious polyandry going on.) On the other hand, maybe not everyone wants a girl like Debbie, as wonderful as she may be? Lots of Roblimo's advice is generically useful ("Look them in the eye / Use their name when appropriate / Smile / etc."). But, to beleaguer the obvious, people have different tastes. What is most important? Mutual caring? Hot sex? Shared recreational interests? Shared work interests? That they'll leave you alone when you want them to? That they have at least three but no more than five body piercings? Just because you don't want the exact qualities that Roblimo is pointing out doesn't mean that he isn't still giving good advice: figure out what you want, what will make your (and maybe even their!) life better, and be realistic[2]. So for all of you who don't care if your S.O. will take care of you: great. You'll have a wider selection! (Just make sure you really mean it and aren't echoing PC rhetoric without realizing it.)
[1] Hint for geek girls: 10:1 is really great odds. You can be selective, even if you have to put up with being pestered. |
| blame the lesbians! (Score:1) by mcdade on Sunday October 24, @11:00PM EST (#510) (User Info) |
Well I blame the lesbians, for turning all the cute, smart and interesting girls into lesbians. You know they have that lesbian raygun that will convert a girl, on pulse beam of that and the girl is carpet munching in no time. Ask any girl, they will say the same thing for Gay guys too! This is a joke ppl! Anyways, i think there is some merit to the article. Biggest thing is that you have to look at where you are trying to meet these girls. At a game/network/computer conference, where the sexy girls are either their to troll the guys or if there is a cute one, well every pair of male hetro eyes are glued to her? There are tonnes of sexy women out there, at the bus stop, in grocery stores, at the bank, in the mall at coffee shops.. open you eyes to the possiblity.. You just have to get out, just put down the keyboard and walk away... you can do it, you won't die, honest! now if i could just figure a way to approch them. |
| Almost true... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:20PM EST (#513) |
| I can relate to almost all advice in this article except the bit about geek girls. My wife is as much of a geek as I am (She just fell asleep after 11 hours of new Linux filesystem debug session). This was never a problem - she always had time for me, and I always had time for her. I suppose geekness and personal relationships are not necessarily opposites even if both partners are like that. Besides, it gives me an opportunity to discuss all the good kernel stuff with her as well as usual (moovies, etc.). |
| Dating Advice for humans (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:21PM EST (#514) |
| OK, you're beating up on Uncle Rob, but let's get real: half the geek boys and girls here have real problems in dealing with people as people. Sexist? Well, maybe, but let's also be honest. Guys alone ARE sexist and he at least used the word girl and some you boys use something else after a Quake game or a few beers. So to get all huffy now is well, silly. Here's my take on this: A lot of people have seriously unrealistic expectations of who their perfect mate will be. A lot of geek people have a real problem in dealing with people on a lot of levels. Sex is just one of them. The fact that he could post the article ought to be a hint that all is not well in your personal lives. A lot wake up at 35 and don't have a dog to call their own, much less a girlfriend. The Valley is now shorthand for geek guys who can't get laid. The fact is that many people are simply intimidated by intelligence, no matter who has it. I have a friend who only dated idiots for years, despite the cost to his reputation at work. He couldn't handle a smart woman. You're not going to get Cindy Crawford unless you get a restaurant and a lot of money. So don't worry about that. And I like geek girls. I like smart women. Hell, I find one smarter than me and I'd be as happy as a coder hearing Gates was indicted on RICO charges. The thing is that there are several kinds of geeks. HTML/Javascript geeks, writer geeks, designer geeks. They all don't have to worship at the house of the Penguin to be a geek. So just because you don't find one who likes Linux, well, there are a lot of female designers. And geek girls should try writers. Sure, they have big egos, but they also like a good argument and they get paid to listen. There are many ways to be a geek and some don't even involve computers. There are only two bits of advice I'd give people: 1)Date people who like you. A lot of times you date people who you want to screw. They may even screw you. But they may not like you. You need people who like you if you want a relationship. Especially if you're in high school. The nicest girls are the only ones worth dating. Don't drool over them, just ask them out. It saves time and culls you from the heard of your friends who stare at women like they have three horns and green fangs. PS: The odds are that your wife will be about 5'5", 130 lbs and have brunette hair. Just like your mom. You may get a blonde or a redhead, but look at your mom. Because that's pretty much what you'll marry. 2)Spend time with them The point of a relationship is to spend time with a person. Not take them for granted. If you just want to code, spend money on hookers, Cheaper and faster and you get exactly what you need. If you want someone to be part of your life, you have to let them in and do things with them and Playstation and pizza are not things. Let me put it this way: if you and your boys do it, it's not a date. If you don't want to go out and have a social life, don't date. For girls, the one thing a guy likes is when you spend time with him on his terms. If you watch football or play playstation, you'll make things a lot easier. If you want someone in your life, and this place seems to be filled with people who want that, then you can't just do what you always do. You have to grow and change a little. You have to be a little better than you were yesterday. Because to get what you want, sex, companion and understanding you have to give something back. -SGill |
| Re:Dating Advice for humans (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:32PM EST (#523) |
| But if you're going after a girl who really is a 'geek', a 'date' may be the worst approach possible. I am now engaged, and I got my girl by co-writing a science-fiction short story with her, which we followed up by cooperatively playing FF7. |
| take this advice in moderation (Score:1) by crackerjc on Sunday October 24, @11:24PM EST (#516) (User Info) |
| This article was overall pretty good, it pointed out quite a few things I already knew, but still clarified, and confirmed some suspicions/theories I had. I don't agree that there is a uniform assumption you can make for any woman (I don't believe in uniform assumptions of any person). You can't say that all/any geek girl will act competitively towards you, there are different types of geek-girls, just as there are different types of geek guys (considerate, inconsiderate). And another thing, I don't agree with the term 'geek', think about it; being a 'geek' would simply be someone obsessed in the field of computing, we don't have offensive names for people obsessed in the area of sports! And that's not to say the word 'geek' is even necesarily always used as an insult, if you like it, knock yourself out! I have personally read many of these tpyes of articles, I find them to be pleasing/re-encouraging, but the feeling doesn't stick with me. In the end I'm back to where I started, so I conclude that you must find your own set of rules. Now if I haven't offended too many people already with my above comments, I have a simple question; How does the average girl (not a feminist, not an overly passive-type) feel about sexism or female favoratism? I'm asking this because I truly believe in equality, but it seems that some of my friends can get away with being sexist at heart (male superiority), but when girls are around they try hard to not look sexist and sometimes still do, but the girls overlook this. They will complain about it (usually to me), and then the next day they're all over the guy again. This doesn't seem fair to me who is never sexist even when alone. I don't know what to do, or if I'm simply over-reacting. CrackerJc (grade 9 computer 'geek') |
| I don't get it ... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:26PM EST (#517) |
| Whats the problem with you guys? All you really need to get laid is a M1911A1 Colt .45, some duct tape and one of them ball-gags seen in Pulp Fiction. Sheesh, and you call yourselves intelligent. |
| Slashdot readers must have a soft spot for women.. (Score:1) by The OPTiCIAN (c j m t u r n e r @beoscentral.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:27PM EST (#518) (User Info) http://www.beoscentral.com/ |
| ... I'm surprised that women have not yet been criticised for not being open source. Believe with me, my saplings. |
| Take up cooking... (Score:1) by SIGFPE on Sunday October 24, @11:30PM EST (#521) (User Info) http://www.tanelorn.demon.co.uk |
| Today my wife was so pleased that that I was slaving away in the kitchen cooking her dinner..but then she noticed that every song I had playing in the background was by a different band. Then she noticed the wires coming out of the cupboard. And then the PSU. Oh dear....I was rumbled...she was about to discover that I wasn't playing it from the CD player but from a shell script playing a randomised sequence of mp3's from my laptop discreetly hidden in a cupboard. "Can't I get you away from that damned computer...if only you spent all that time on me...!!!" Trying to explain that it's no different from a CD player which probably has some microcontroller in it anyway was to no avail. It's not easy being a married geek. Ho hum... at least the food came out nice. Yum! |
| Geek girls are good! (Score:1) by arhawth (arhawth@yahoo.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:32PM EST (#524) (User Info) |
| Two things here. One, the colloquial definition of 'geek' doesn't only apply to computer geeks... there are a lot of other types out there (or maybe those are nerds), and this article tends, and apparently a lot of computer geeks tend to ignore that fact. The second thing is that I have spent a lot of time with non-geek women, and have found that I just don't enjoy spending time with them. Few of them have any sort of passion in their lives and seem to just be existing rather than actually caring about something interesting. She may be a drama geek or a chemical engineering geek, but in either case, they at least have some passion in their lives. That's what makes us all geeks at heart: the fact that we all love the stuff that we do. And I'm not looking for Cindy Crawford with an IQ of 180, but I am looking for a girl with similar intelligence as me who's willing to use it for something she loves. It's not a bad thing to look for a girl who's a geek. I can't imagine being able to share anything at all interesting to me to any girl who wasn't a geek. They're the only ones who listen and understand why I'm so excited about . Anyway... I think this article does offer a lot of good tips for how to actually get out and talk to a girl, though. Sometimes you gotta get out of the (lab)|(room)|(office) and go meet someone. If you don't meet someone who has a bit of geek in them, though, I'll bet you won't be happy, though. Adam |
| whatever... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:39PM EST (#531) |
| girlfriends? aren't they for people that don't have a DVD equipped PC next to the bed? I dunnno, my girlfriend is name SCPH-5501 with that extra special mod chip.... |
| Relative to personality (Score:1) by CAIMLAS (caimlas@cats.wpe.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:54PM EST (#535) (User Info) http://www.chienworks.com/~caimlas |
| The following rant is an exerpt of the personality and character of CAIMLAS, who, by chance and genetic allegance, happens to lay claim to the gender of 'male'. Take as a grain of salt. In my opinion, one's interests make little, if any, importance for most people. Sure, they're an integral factor in most instances, but from what I've observed, personality and emotional needs have much more pull. I say it sucks, to some extent, that we need our SO's sooooo much more than was so 100 years ago, when life was simple and less intense (less stressful too, maybe?) I'm just glad that we have a less stringent 'marriage' system than there was then, or there would be a _lot_ of problems with personality conflicts. For instance, some individuals need, like Rob, someone to "take care of them" - in a sence - it's how they feel loved. Others need someone they can relate to, still others need someone who has a similar emotional or opposite emotional composure. Overall, I agreed with many of the generalizations, but some were fairly borderline or completely derailed. Bits about no geek/attractive females was really off, for example. I personally need someone that I can relate to. Being able to relate to them on my interests is key, but so is personality. I really need someone that has a possitive outlook on life, is mostly cheerful, observant, creative and technical, caring, sensible, and vastly introspective. Most of these things because they are characteristics I find in myself, but also because many of these things would complement me. (Ok, most of them complement me - I would need their cheerful attitudes and senibility in order to keep me sane.) Also keep into consideration that merely because she's beautiful doesn't mean that she can't be intelligent and deep thinking, etc. - it's just rare. Physical appearance shouldn't be much of an issue, but if you're going to marry someone or become close to them, you'd be stupid if they were ugly. (I personally plan to find the right lady, marry her, and not let her go!) :) Albiet, no matter how good the relationship is and how well two people get along, there's always going to be problems. That's why love is a decision, a commitment, not an emotion (which is merely lust, longing, etc). IMHO, even though this was intended as a humorous piece, it approached the subject slightly too straightforward. I also believe that it used a poor choice of wording for some items. (IE, boobs, is generally considered perverse, and could have possibly been refered to in a more general tense so as to not offend certain individuals of either sex.) I find it GREAT that there are other people that compare life experiences to computer operations, systems, etc. I have an ongoing gag with a friend in which we compare personalities and ways of thought with operating systems and programming languages. (Other various things pop up too - hardware, etc. For example, I've got a lot of RAM, run linux (ala stable), and a high speed hard drive with a high capacity - for executive material only. A smaller disk with a slower speed for non-critical/deemed important information, and a mid-upper-market processor.) ASSIDE TO ROBLIMO (and anyone that cares about grammar): The girls who laugh at you in high school laugh because they're nervous and, if you're exceptionally bright, posibly because they're a little bit scared of you. The reason that this struck me as funny was due to a comment you made later on about *ahem* someone's writting style and habits. The third word from the end of the paragraph should not be 'scared'; rather, it should be 'afraid'. This is because 'scared' is used in the context of doing something to someone, IE, "I scared you", and 'afraid' is used in the context of having something done to you, IE, "I am afraid". I personally feel that grammar is important, but spelling is not as much so, as long as words are conveyed in a way that people generally understand - thus coloquealisms (sp>) appear - which thus cause more variant spellings. (However, some spelling mistackes can't be eskused.) Besides, I'm a poor speller. :) Just MO. I realize it's not that important - your intent was understood (which is what language is all about - the better you're able to do so, the better you are at writting) - but it struck me as humorous and ironic. Even more so, since I'm yet in high school. :)~ Also, about this sentence. Girls laugh at me due to the fact that I'm funny (so I'm told) and I easy tension by easing the atmosphere. Or maybe it is because I'm funny looking? :) Holy cow! THAT's a book! ------- |
| My required attributes. (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:57PM EST (#538) |
| 1) Understand the nuances of correct usage of your native langue. 2) Use language correctly at all times. 3) When in doubt, use a spelling-checker. 4) IF none of the above are important to my prospective date, we should proceed no further. --------------------------------- If we breed not intelligence, we breed ignorance. |
| ;^) (Score:1) by Vegita on Monday October 25, @01:59AM EST (#574) (User Info) |
| Just a comment on your footer: Intelligence does not breed - it's too concerned with being intelligent to actually dedicate time to procreate. Stupidity is the one that breeds, for it is the ignorant that reproduces not the enlightened! The very fact that we made it to computers is an unconceivable miracle!!!!! ;^) |
| This is oh so true!!! (Score:1) by Big Geek on Monday October 25, @12:01AM EST (#540) (User Info) |
| I have to concur with Uncle Robin's posting. I actually met my wife BEFORE I became a geek, but she has seen how happy I am when I "geek out" in my office or with my friends. She does not always understand when I get on a soap box & launch into a speech about this or that, but she asks questions some questions and makes me feel like what I'm saying is important (even though she may not give a flying ratts butt about the birth of the Net or why the OSS movement is so cool). The long and the short of it is that she accepts me for who I am and what I have become and that makes her the best wife in the whole world. Nuff said! |
| Yeah, I got some advice for all you lovelorn geeks (Score:1) by DingALing (dingSPAM-ME-NOT@uswest.net) on Monday October 25, @12:03AM EST (#542) (User Info) |
| www.fufme.com :) |
| Stop the Geek stereotyping (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @12:10AM EST (#544) |
| I'm a Geek idealist. Even on those stupid newspaper tests, I've never managed to be judged as anything else than an idealist. I've never had a formal IQ test, but on those I have taken, my lowest score was 175. I'm a student of Informatics, but only after having taken a year of Philosophy first. I'm politically conservative (European conservative, that is) and a European federalist. I was politically active for years, and am now writing ideological texts, defining what I hope to become a new way to look at society and mankind. Yet I am a geek. A (christian) fatalist, a conservative, a federalist, a programmer (since I was seven=15 years), a political philosopher and a standalone geek. Now, on the topic of women, do I have anything to teach you other geeks? No, unfortunately, as I tend to act as a typical geek around women. The closest I've been to going out with a girl was walking hand in hand in eight grade. But please, stop the stereotyping. Anonymous, in order to prevent unwanted sideeffects of posting this post. |
| Ok...try this one on for size... (Score:1) by DoktorMel (doktormel@yahoo.com) on Monday October 25, @12:12AM EST (#546) (User Info) |
| I'm at my friend C.'s wedding this weekend and she introduces me to her friend B. B. and I hit it off and wind up spending most of our time talking together (as neither of us know most of the other guests and members of the groom's family). She's pretty, smart, holds up her end of a conversation (I was literally able to listen to her talk all day), really doesn't give a rat's ass about computers (and made me not mind that), and doesn't wear makeup. These are all good things. I'm thinking "Wow, here's an intelligent woman who seems to enjoy my company, isn't any _more_ neurotic than I am, looks more than a little bit like Winona Ryder, and likes my hat. What did I do _right_ recently?" Then, in the course of conversation, she tells me she has Multiple Sclerosis. It doesn't weird me out, so she tells me about an attack she had recently, very candidly, very honestly. Now, however, I'm questioning my attraction to her because I have this mental image of me in my 40's, helping her use the toilet. So what do I do? Here's possibly the most interesting person I've met in the last 5 years. Do I attempt to start a relationship with her? Knowing that I might not be emotionally equipped to deal with health problems that may not even come up? (2 out of 3 MS patients never lose their capacity to walk, completely debilitating MS is quite rare) This is probably the wrongest possible forum to ask this stuff in, and possibly the worst group from which to seek advice, but I'm willing to ask. The Sage does nothing, and nothing is left undone. --Lao Tzu |
| Re:Ok...try this one on for size... (Score:1) by SwedishChef on Monday October 25, @12:31AM EST (#552) (User Info) |
| Let me try to give you my take on your question on two levels: Level 1: The most important facet to a man/woman romantic relationship is their compatability; to really connect with someone of the opposite sex. My wife and I met 26 years ago because her parents had two dirt-bikes parked in their driveway two blocks from where I lived (when I wasn't out on engineering assignments). I stopped, knocked on the door, found out one was hers, and we spent an entire summer riding the trails near our houses when I was home. We went fishing, talked, packed picnics, visited islands and found out we liked each other... not long afterwards we found out we loved each other. We remain best friends - and lovers - today. Level 2: No one can guarentee that the person they choose as a life-partner will make it all the way. You could decide that this gal is too much of a risk, meet and marry a health nut, and find out that she has leukemia at age 27. Or you could have kids with another woman who carries some nasty gene; or find out that you do. Life isn't fair, and married life is more unfair than most. My advice to you (and it's worth every nickel you're paying for it) is to follow up with this woman and find out if she can be your best friend. If you share your life with your best friend, you'll find the strength to handle whatever comes in the future. The simple fact that she shared her MS with you tells me that she is interested in you, and that she's honest and forthright. She is now wondering how you will react to her honesty. Do not let this one get away without finding out more about yourselves as a couple. She sounds like she's worth some effort. |
| Re:Ok...try this one on for size... (Score:1) by deeny (deirdre@deirdre.org) on Monday October 25, @05:29AM EST (#609) (User Info) http://www.deirdre.net |
| I also replied via email, but my general rule of thumb is: go for it, learn more. You don't have to commit to marriage yet. :) Silly introverts always wanting to put the cart before the horse. :) (see my post about Deirdre's Law of Relationships) I should also say that, when I was married five months, my husband suddenly died of a stroke. You never know how long you have with someone; make what time you have count. I don't see what you're so worried about; you could get run over by a bus before her next attack. I'm not trying to be a pessimist, just pointing out that you're focused worrying about her (which is sweet) but not even considering that you might not make it that long. _Deirdre |
| Re:Ok...try this one on for size... (Score:1) by treat on Monday October 25, @10:40AM EST (#661) (User Info) |
| Then, in the course of conversation, she tells me she has Multiple Sclerosis. It doesn't weird me out, so she tells me about an attack she had recently, very candidly, very honestly. Now, however, I'm questioning my attraction to her because I have this mental image of me in my 40's, helping her use the toilet. So what do I do? Here's possibly the most interesting person I've met in the last 5 years. Don't think so far ahead. No matter how wonderful she seems, you should realize that it's highly unlikely that the relationship will last anywhere near that long. |
| Girls (Score:1) by BlueQuark on Monday October 25, @12:34AM EST (#554) (User Info) |
| Ah this is so true. Most of my geek friends who are married have girlfriends/wives who have nothing to do with computer, technology or engineering. And they are very happy and are GLAD that their girlfriends/wives don't have anything to do with computers. Only one or two have geek girlfriends. My present girlfriend is very homey and is very kind, sweet and very cute! She likes to cook for me home made Japanese food and go to Japanese Hot Springs. And is extremely affectionate. :-) (Yes she's Japanese) But the best part, she let's me play with computers/geek toys and be myself and doesn't complain, I just have to spend time with her and pay attention to her needs and desires and we have no problems. Good luck! |
| advoid computer illiterate girls (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @12:40AM EST (#555) |
| Just got through dumping my computer illiterate girlfriend. They just can't understand our obsession with computers and our need to spend time hunched over a keyboard instead of with them. She ended up annoying me by trying to drag me to the bar or do things which she considers to be not boring, and got very annoying. We need someone who at least understands our obsession a little, or someone smart enough to realize computers are our obsession, and we treat it as such. |
| what i say (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @12:55AM EST (#561) |
| if u want girls, then meet them, be yourself, be open, be kind, be caring, be non rude, listen to them, compremise, don't argue, don't get angry, be tolerant of thier faults, respect them... the list goes on. |
| It's funny. Laugh. Really? (Score:1) by jpyle (johnmpyle@yahoo.com) on Monday October 25, @01:19AM EST (#566) (User Info) |
| As I think most people would agree, this 'feature' is something of a departure from the typical /. fare. Personally, I found some of the ideas expressed in it more than a bit offensive. (I've been a habitual /. reader for quite a while now, and obviously I've had negative reactions to literally hundreds of reader posts in the past. But I think the fact that this is content written and displayed as a 'feature' puts it in a separate class.) What I'd really like to know is if this was really an attempt at 'humor' (As many have noted, it was placed it the 'It's funny. Laugh.' category. As many have also noted, it's does not appear to be written for laughs.) or if it was a genuine attempt by roblimo to express his views? This distinction is important to me. If this truly was a feeble attempt at satire, then I just won't read roblimo for witty insight. But if it was intended as a 'serious' article, then I honestly don't want to read this kind of stuff and I don't think I'll bother with ./ any longer. |
| Re:It's funny. Laugh. Really? (Score:1) by deeny (deirdre@deirdre.org) on Monday October 25, @05:17AM EST (#605) (User Info) http://www.deirdre.net |
| I could just be rude and say, "Well, what do you EXPECT from trailer trash?" (According to the author's bio, he lives in a trailer) But I won't. :) Regardless of whether or not it was an attempt to be serious or humorous, what this guy doesn't know about women would fill volumes. He thinks he has a clue about their motivations, but he doesn't. He may not even understand his wife's motivations. Logic suggests that if most spouses were aware of their spouse's motivations and acted accordingly, the divorce rate would be signficantly lower. I think this wasn't just a lame attempt at humor, but the real views of the author. While the idea of "relate to a real" woman is a good point, most male geeks I know do NOT spend time in clubs the way the author did. Most of them have geek jobs in pre-IPO companies and work hard and long hours. As geek companies tend to be overwhelmingly male, the chances of socializing with women is limited. As the author's socialization seemed to revolve around the kind of places where extroverts hang out, and as most geeks are not extroverts, I'm reminded of a rule of mine: Deirdre's Rule of Relationships: Extroverts bond ionically; Introverts bond covalently By which I mean that introverts tend to have fewer, but deeper, relationships with specific people. For extroverts, they're more interested in having certain roles filled and the bonds are shallower. I think the differences in socialization between introverts and extroverts is different enough that it's caused us introverts lots of grief: "You care too much" - yeah, introverts DO. So? It's a feature, not a bug. "Geez, it was just a date" - if they ask you out, 80% chance they're already 1/2way in love. "I feel closed in" - introverts seem to want a more complete experience than extroverts do. But if any guy *I* dated wrote a piece like this, it would be all over in a heartbeat. This doesn't mean that he couldn't write something, but geez. Then again, any guy I date (like my SO, Rick Moen) would not only be a geek and be proud to be a geek, but also be secure enough in his masculinity to date a geek woman who knew more than he did in some area. :) I'm sure Rick would acknowledge that I'm a better coder, but I defer to his superior network-fu! PS - Besides, Pamela Anderson wouldn't visit a guy in a trailer. Anymore. _Deirdre |
| Side note (Score:1) by [K]Ermit (ssmith[at]stevesmith.org) on Monday October 25, @01:26AM EST (#567) (User Info) http://www.stevesmith.org |
| I'm not going to post what I originally wanted to because I'm sure it's been posted a hundred times already, and I'm sure what I'm about to post has been posted a hundred times too. This could be considered flame bait, but hear me out. I'm not trying to flame Roblimo (although I am not incredibly fond of him), just giving my opinion. Basically, I don't care to read Roblimo flatter himself about his awesome wife or how he has dated all kinds of "hot chicks" and his opinion of "geek girls." However, I understand that he posted it under Humor, and so I will overlook it and not flame him to bad. But, I for one, am getting tired of seeing everything posted by Roblimo. I remember the good old days when Rob and Jeff posted just about everything themselves - back then I truly enjoyed /. Now I don't exactly understand where Roblimo came from (I'm assuming when andover took over /. he was added) which I can understand. But, I'm getting tired of some of Roblimo's posts. Normally, if I don't like a poster (i.e: john katz) I just exclude their posts. But with Roblimo, I cannot do this because he posts just about EVERYTHING. I hardly ever see CmdrTaco post anything and Hemos is still posting (thank God) but Roblimo has taken it upon himself to post anything and everything he comes across, whether it be /. worthy or not. Consider this: What about the possibility of having a page where /.'ers can go see all of the stories that have been submitted but didn't quite make it to the main page (for whatever reason). All to often, what I would like to see on my /. is different from what Roblimo would like me to see. (For example, see the story i'm replying to.) Just a suggestion. ~Steve |
| RTFM! (Score:1) by Vegita on Monday October 25, @01:36AM EST (#568) (User Info) |
| Yes! This is the aswer! This must become a manual and I must have it!!!! ;^) |
| Three Tips... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @01:46AM EST (#569) |
| 1) It is good policy never to stare at a girl's breasts. Even a quick glance can cause you to be busted (they refer to it as a "breast check"), and make you lose serious brownie points. Look into her eyes, and she will be more likely to willingly entertain you later. 2) Talk about her and about what interests her. You get major bonus points if you actually listen and relate portions of the previous conversation to the present topic. This shows that you are actually interested in her and have been listening. I have been dating an amazing girl for about a week. Last night, we were talking about the party where we met, and I asked her what it was about me that first caught her interest enough to stay close to me and continue talking for the rest of the night (instead of excusing herself to get another drink or go powder her nose and never return). Her answer was that I actually seemed to be listening to what she was saying and that I was paying attention to her face instead of looking at her breasts (36C in an excellent outfit -- sorry to be crass ladies, but I am trying to drive home the point). 3) On selecting roses... A single perfect long stem rose is an extremely simple and elegant way to tickle a girl's fancy. There is no need to go over the top and spend a fortune on a dozen roses. You would be amazed at the number of girls even in their mid to late twenties who have *never* received flowers. You can give frequent single roses as an inexpensive ($2) and thoughtful way to show that you care enough to go to that trouble for her. However, many guys do not spend much time contemplating the rose they give; they just grab the first one in the front of the refrigerator. There are several important things to consider: - Many of the roses in the fridge have icky brown edges on the leaves or black spots. Do not get these. If the bud is closed, at least look at the top for any telltale signs of brown. - Many guys buy the roses which are nicely open and present the classical "rose" image. DO NOT BUY THESE! They are too old and will quickly wilt before she can enjoy them. You want a rose which is still young enough that the diameter at the tip is between one-half and two-thirds the diameter of the widest part of the bud. This is the best tradeoff between looking good and lasting for a while. You can get fresher roses which are closed up like Hershey's kisses, but they do not look as nice. If you get any where the diameter at the tip is equal to or greater than the diameter at the widest part of the bud, she will quickly have an ugly wilted rose. - If she is in a sorority, find out what her sorority flower is and get some of those. Often it is some kind of uncommon rose, and you get major bonus points for going through the trouble of a) finding out what it is and b) actually finding some. - Pay attention to the green leaves both just under the bud and on the stem. Once you find several good candidates based on the actual flower, use the leaves to choose between them. Often, nasty or broken leaves can ruin a good rose. When you have the florist wrap the rose, make sure that she is careful of the leaves. - Get your roses from the flower refrigerator at your local supermarket. Not only is this likely to be less expensive than going to a florist, but you have a much better chance of being able to pick through the roses. I usually go to between four and six grocery stores before I find an acceptable rose. You may not be as picky, but at least look around a little. Seriously, for the last two days my new girlfriend has been saying either, "I can't believe this rose -- it's perfect," or "I can't believe it is still so beautiful -- all the other roses I have ever gotten wilted after a day." I had to go to four stores to find that one, but she more than made it worthwhile. :) |
| help (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @01:46AM EST (#570) |
| I guess this seems all well and good, but I can never find advice with my specific problem. I don't want to go out to bar and meet a girl, I want to know how to start something with girl I already know (btw I'm 16, and I know her a little, though I wouldnt say friend status). Ive been interested for years literally, and still I'm clueless on how the hell to approach it. I'd appreciate if anyone could help me on expressing interest in someone youve had your eye on for a while, and starting a relationship |
| Re:help (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @03:21AM EST (#585) |
| Well, don't go for a relationship. Work on a strong and solid friendship. I find that friendships "flow on" to relationships. Close friendships rule, and relationships built on good friendships rule all. Take my advice, I need it no longer. |
| Re:help (Score:1) by Jeckle (heckleATcykopathDOTcom) on Monday October 25, @11:02AM EST (#668) (User Info) http://www.cykopath.com |
| This raises an interesting point that was not really covered in the original piece. I am sure it is covered in one of the comments, but damn if I am going to read that many. Here's the point: DON'T WAIT If you see a lady you want to talk to, talk to her. If you want to do something with her, talk to her, get to know her a bit, and ask her. If you hang around thinking she'll never like you and never date you, guess what, you're right, she never will. Geek or not, if you don't go after anything, chances are, it won't fall into your lap. Did you just one day know how to compile a kernel? No way. You probably f'ed up something the first time you tried. Don't worry about feeling awkward. We all do when we talk to someone we don't know. Look in her eyes. She is probably a bit apprehensive too. If you can't look in her eyes (shyness or whatever) at least look at her face. Whatever you do, don't look at the floor or god-forbid one of the no-no-places (you know where they are). People in general respond better to someone who looks them in the eye and appears to have self-confidence. Finally, don't buy into that BS peddaled by movies like Powder and Lucas. The quiet, pastey, awkward, and plain old wierd geek doesn't get the great girl. EVER. Nobody, least of all people looking for any kind of relationship, is going fall in love with a person out of pitty. And, if they do, run like hell, you're better off dating the silicon crack whore. The only thing you can do here is grow a pair, grit your teeth, and talk to her. You have been watching her it seems. You know some things she likes. Look into them. Find something you can at least talk about. It doesn't have to interest you, so long as it's something you can talk about and listen to without losing interest. You got a 50/50 chance, she will either like you or not. Either way, you will know. |
| Re:help (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @11:12AM EST (#675) |
| It's actually quite simple. The aim is to communicate with her. She's a person. People often communicate by talking. Try that approach. Making friends is incredibly easy. You talk to people, you take an interest in their life, and you share something of yourself with them. I'm sure you've done it with guys before. Girls aren't that different. You might need to pick a different topic of conversation (most girls don't want to discuss how cute they new girl is - or maybe they do, but they probably don't want to discuss it with the guys), but the basics are the same as with a guy. She's a person, even geeks often know how to deal with people don't they (and communicating with a machine that's trying to pass the turing test, isn't the same thing). |
| rather..touching (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @01:48AM EST (#571) |
| Ahh well, that was a fascinated read, and everything I read there reminds me of the one mistake I've made recently in my life. If you had a chance to choose between the "geek-girl" and the one who's pretty much the closest girl (and person) in your life, what would you do? Tip: choosing the one who's into the same computer-related things as you simply will NOT work. If I could turn back time, I would. The person who was my closest friend has found another guy, and I'm pushed out of the friendship scene too. So I've lost one of the most special people in my life (and believe me, she's not perfect, but faults simply didn't matter to me when it came to her), and I'm destroying the other friendship in the process. I could have won both ways, but I've lost both ways. Don't make the same mistakes I did. |
| ;^) (Score:1) by Vegita on Monday October 25, @02:07AM EST (#575) (User Info) |
| Feel love for her u do, but like a wimp u cry. Be a man u must! Take her back U MUST! ;^) |
| I liked it.... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @01:52AM EST (#573) |
| Obviously the people who diddnt aggree with the story havent felt lonely and unwanted by women. Im not saying that all geeks/nerds are loners but there is a definite correlation between the two. For me it was nice to see an article where the replys made me feel that I wasnt all alone. Thanks roblimo |
| You have much to learn young Jedi (Score:1) by asolipsist (wendlink@hotmail.com) on Monday October 25, @03:04AM EST (#581) (User Info) |
| Even knowledgable Uncle Robin is a bit of a spring grasshoppa when it comes to women. (he's maybe been with what, 10 tops?) What if you are not seeking a steady (and demeaning in uncl'robins case) realtionship. Can you, from the depths of your geekdom, actually fathom attracting multiple women? In my home state of colorado i have never met a(nother) young person who is both socially skillfull and an experienced geek. (i do know some people like this in cali, only a few though) I have however helped geeks in the past find a partner. lets say we're not interested in a life partner, lets say we want what every 22 year old wants... i've complied a little list of things that should help deep kernel hackers reach for more than their jolt cola's at night. Note: This list is not politically correct, nor is it fair, but it is honest. 1. on first meeting, physical attractivness is 95% of the game. you can't get around it, its hard wired into our brains and its reinforced throughout life. (even if you're ugly and pasty you have to try) 1.1 Dress well, (ps, this is not your idea of well dressed, its someone else's, ask people who they know that dresses well - dress like them) 1.1.1 Alternately - dress like the kind of person you are trying to attract. (dangerous) 1.2 work out, (this means lift) even if you are butt ugly you can attract certain women if you are cut like a 3000k diamond. 1.3 Look at people when you talk to them (uncle robin) 2. Never talk about anything remotely geeky until you're absolutely sure the person is interested. (which is almost never) This means never on a first meeting with a person, no exceptions, even if the person you're talking with asks you about something geeky. ie. what do you do? right: oh, i work on computer crap. wrong: im a java developer working on a client to interface with an oracle 8 database using the JDBC. 3. Admit that you dont understand how to talk to women and watch someone who does. Youre smart right? well then how do those stupid guys do it and you can't... Look, you're going to have to change yourself and adapt, evolve. your're smarter, so prove it, learn to speak down to the level of everyone else you're talking with, learn how to small talk, mostly that means talk about things that are going on in the room right now. 4. If you have any antisocial habits find them and get rid of them. Nobody likes to admit they have a stupid laugh, or that they're ADD and bother the people around them, but if you have a bad habit you're going to have to change. ie. you can videotape yourself talking with 'regular' people then watch it, it might be harsh, but you'll notice the stupid things you're doing/saying. if you cant change, stop reading, its a lost cause. 5. learn how to dance. (i mean really dance) Pick something and go with it, like 2 step or swing or anything, even learning can hook you up, become really good, not just ok. this step alone can get you all the heated nights you'd ever want. (and all the std's too, but that's your problem) 6. Clean up your place and make it look like a regular/cool person lives there. 7. Own a nice (looking) vehicle. 8. If everybody knows your a geek and they aren't likely to give you second chance, move. 9. Smile (but not like that) 10. Learn how to act. Looking like you're after 'fresh meat' will never get you any (unless your really attractive in which case you needn't read any of this). Learn how to look concerned, friendly, helpful, remember you're just a fun loving person who wants to have good clean fun (convince yourself of this), if you look/act like you're after anything else, you can forget it. 11. THE MAIN POINT. you think you're smart? really? then why can't you install mod_perl and sleep with someone every night? because you have failed to adapt, you haven't learned how to play the social game. you may look down on it, think its sophomoric or pointless, (in reality so do most of the people who can play it) but you still have to play. Attracting people may not be something you have an aptitude for. but you can force yourself, you are intelligent, observe human behavior, learn from it, pretend you're an anthropologist trying to fit in with a new tribe. pretend its a game, pretend you are a new ad and d character, pretend anything as long as it lets you soak in social dogma and react to it with charisma. the main idea here is adapt to the situation. (your ancestors did) 13. there are many things you must know once you've attracted a partner, but this is too long already, good luck :) -= Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too. =- |
| That was an easy poll answer to pick (Score:1) by silver (silver@where.else.net.nz.invalid) on Monday October 25, @03:10AM EST (#582) (User Info) |
I just asked my partner what she thought of me and clicked that one. The worrying part is that her first suggestion was "who cares I'm gay!" Silver |
| To being happy and content - Good Work!!! (Score:1) by GrateTaste on Monday October 25, @03:14AM EST (#584) (User Info) |
| IT is good to read something that mirrors what a lot of us already know or may find out. I agree completely with your summation, and though some points may seem politically incorrect, the general body of the text is that which i myself feel now. It is ggod to feel that someone understands the touch but also the warm comfort of a girl who understands that people "who hack stuff/code/build/design/etc" walk two paths. The text is also good because i have many friends who objectify and treat women as a trophy to be attained(both geeks and non-geeks), and they will not understand until they grow up, or get the courage to treat them and their emotions as important variables. So I say thankyou, not for me as I feel that I am happy at the moment with my girl, but for those that need to be reminded that there is someone out there for each of us and we only need to open our hearts and to stop letting our minds get in the way. |
| Relationship Guides (Score:2) by mvw (van.woerkom@netcologne.de) on Monday October 25, @03:44AM EST (#589) (User Info) |
| The "Pulp Fiction" of relationship guides is probably TDGTR. Quite funny. But don't take it too serious. In particular this one is rather er.. technical. It's about love after all, don't forget! To those who have not found their special one yet: It's out there. Go for it. You will know when you met her or him. Then don't let the opportunity pass. Don't listen too much to others, it will be different for you. And, yes, all that trouble is worth it. :) |
| Signal/Noise ratio from women (Score:1) by Kim0 on Monday October 25, @04:08AM EST (#592) (User Info) |
| How to know if a women is interested in me? In my experience, one womans "yes", is another womans "no". As a group, I find no signal, just noise. It is possible to learn a particular womans signals, but only if one has been lucky enough to know her a while. The only consistent signal I have found, is that if I am in their home, and they don't protest at that, then they like me. What do you think? Do you know of signals? Do you have enough samples to determine that there is a signal? Or are you just lucky/unlucky? Kim0 |
| Re:Signal/Noise ratio from women (Score:1) by mvw (van.woerkom@netcologne.de) on Monday October 25, @04:26AM EST (#595) (User Info) |
| Do you know of signals? Like calling and getting a SIGHUP? :) The only consistent signal I have found, is that if I am in their home, and they don't protest at that, then they like me. SIGBUS? SIGSEGV? :) |
| I can see it now (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @05:02AM EST (#603) |
| Dear Forum, I never would have believed that this would happen to me.... :) and of course, a Playgirl exclusive, the Geeks of MIT. All hard drive, no floppies. |
| The Geekette's Guide to the Opposite Sex (Score:1) by archfiend on Monday October 25, @05:08AM EST (#604) (User Info) |
| [NOTE: Geekettes who aren't into the opposite sex can read this and just feel smug :) ] Men, eh? Why do we bother? Is it just so as to subtly compete with our non-geekette sisters as to who can hook the best earner? Is it the fascinating conversation on the topic of security issues in TCP/IP? Or is it the wild sex? (OK, so maybe we're getting somewhere with that last point...) Well, no-one said that men don't have their problems. But here's a secret: as long as you aren't trying to change anything really basic about them, they CAN be trained. A good rule in life is ... don't go out with someone because you like your concept of what he could be. Go out with people you like right now, and don't give up because you can't deal with minor behavioural issues -- some failings (such as lack of cooking ability, dress sense, desire to wake you up at 4am to talk about Java beans) can be trained out. The best advice I was ever given on dating was 'stick to guys you actually want to talk to -- that way, even if you don't fancy each other at all, the evening will not be wasted.' Actually, talking is generally a good idea. Geek guys (in my experience) are almost always more interested in talking about detailed techie issues than you will be. Even if you have a PhD in CompSci and 10 years harcore hacking experience, they will be more interested in discussing it in their off-hours than you will. Moving the conversation on to something you are more interested in (such as new gadgets, games, or what's on at the cinema) is a learned art. If all else fails, make sure he spends time chatting to male geek friends -- it will help him to get it out of his system and he'll feel less stifled when you keep trying to change the subject. 1. Men are not good at multi-tasking 2. Men are usually pretty direct when they are trying to insult you 3. Men like to be flattered 4. Real Men aren't afraid of intelligent debate (Would be more but I'm out of steam) La Fiend |
| I just want to be friends... (Score:1) by sbryant on Monday October 25, @07:03AM EST (#619) (User Info) |
| On a related note: Joelogon's Foolproof Guide to Making Any Woman Your Platonic Friend |
| that's it! slashdate.org (Score:1) by Vesperi (jmkeller_nospam_@radix.net) on Monday October 25, @07:24AM EST (#624) (User Info) http://www.radix.net/~jmkeller |
That's it, we need to make "slashdate.org" now folks. I mean it's the natural extention to slashdot! I get everything I need techie news wise from here - why not dates?! Come now guys I'm sure such a system wouldn't take more then a weekend to code up and link in :) |
| drug girls (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @07:33AM EST (#626) |
| What's up with this shit: That's certainly a lot classier than, "You got nice boobs," which is a statement virtually guaranteed to put off almost any woman who isn't selling her body for drug money. ? Me and my wife love drugs and her hot bod! We were very happy together and made two beautiful children. In fact, my friends told me I loved her too much. Yeah, sometimes things got a little crazy and I had to smack her back in line, especially when that bitch used to call the police, but she always came round. That's why her unsolved murder has me so upset. I want all you slashdoters to help me find her killer. He's a big mutha with access to my blood and good taste in shoes. Hack the LAPD, and find the men who framed me! |
| A Codger's Six Rules for Attracting a Woman (Score:1) by Anonymous Codger on Monday October 25, @07:43AM EST (#627) (User Info) |
| 1. Make eye contact. 2. Treat her with respect. 3. Don't be a jerk. 4. Be yourself (unless you're a jerk - see #3) 5. Listen. 6. Have fun. |
| Good points... (Score:1) by pruckelshaus on Monday October 25, @08:00AM EST (#628) (User Info) http://www.beerology.com/beer/ |
| I'm a geek. I married a pharmacist who could hardly format a floppy when I met her. I think the differences in our interests is what has kept our marriage strong for 9 years now. Is she a world-class hottie? No, thank goodness. I couldn't deal with that kind of pressure. But she is extraordinarily cute and one of the kindest people I have ever met. More advice. When the time is right, tell her you love her. After that, tell her often. It's nice to hear. The nice thing is that this has given us the opportunity to learn from each other; Mary Beth installed her first card the other day (a NIC) just "because she wanted to know how to do it" and, even though her computer knowledge is far from extensive, her coworkers see her as the computer "heavy" in the office which does earn her perks and recognition. Her only frustration is that 3 years ago I was making $15k less than her, and now I'm making $15k more than her...I tell her it all comes out of one pot, but the reality is that she works in the healthcare profession which certainly doesn't have as much free-flowing cash as the computer industry does. |
| Plastic Girls (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:06AM EST (#630) |
| I'd have to say that this article hits home. My girlfriend is a stripper at a high-class club in New York. She makes $700 for one night's work and still expects me to pay for almost everything, including her MetroCard. Half the time I talk to her, she obsesses about weight or how beautiful she is, and when I start talking about what I do her eyes glaze over. I have to say that it was cool at first; I could tell all my guy friends that "hey I'm going out with a stripper", but if you actually start to care about someone like that, it won't work. We've been going out for a year, and she basically makes me miserable. It's too bad I didn't know these things before I got too attached. Trust me guys, it isn't worth it. Well, there is a really cute and down to earth Japanese girl in one of my classes... Maybe it's time for a change. |
| What a loser! (Score:1) by Sxooter on Monday October 25, @08:12AM EST (#631) (User Info) |
| I'm a poly kinky pagan bi geek boy, and I have several girlfriends: Two are computer programmers. One's a marketer. One's an artist and a mother. Two are of the "beauty" type this guy says aren't interested in me. One has enhanced breasts. None of them are old fashioned girls (i.e. door mats.) They all have their own means of income, and on the average, they out earn me, although I do barely out earn a few. I don't have to spend my week earning enough money to "get lucky" with them. With or without their makeup, NONE of them are plain. (Note that they are in more than one catagory above.) I cook dinner for the at least as much as they do for me. I cook dinner for them and their other boyfriends too! Most important of all, I've opened my eyes to realize there are plenty of beautiful women, a fair number of them geek girls, a fair number not. Some of then find me attractive some don't and vice versa. But if you can find the polyamorous ones, then you've got something!. --- I believe President Reagan could've made this country again what it once was, an arctic wasteland, covered in glaciers... |
| There are 600+ replies to this post... (Score:1) by Evil Poot Cat ($mikep=@avana[0].net) on Monday October 25, @08:30AM EST (#636) (User Info) |
| ...and only 150 or so on Legos. BREATHE, people, and search for that which complements onesself. ____________________________ Don't think you are, know you are. |
| Broader definition of "geek" (Score:1) by Just Some Guy (kirk@stra%deletethis%user.com) on Monday October 25, @08:31AM EST (#637) (User Info) http://members.dialnet.net/teknique/ |
I've said this before, but I believe it completely: "Geek" isn't a label that should be exclusive to computers. My wife is a surgeon, and I'd definitely say she's a medical geek. I hack C++; she hacks biology. With this in mind, I have to disagree with ya, Roblimo. We get along famously. I understand when she's in her zone doing research, and she doesn't bug me about late-night coding runs. She is everything you've listed as "desirable", but she's 100% certifiably as geeky as I am, and I understand her, and she understands me. Life is sweet. Another nice benefit to our relationship: I now fully know and believe that geeks are geeks, no matter what field they choose. Being really, passionately into something is cool and attractive to someone else as in-love with their own separate field. -- Where did you want to go yesterday? |
| Re:Broader definition of "geek" (Score:1) by nieveh (eye.yam@geek.central.help.me!.org) on Sunday November 07, @06:00PM EST (#777) (User Info) http://members.home.net/ishstar |
| Agreed! Geeks can be for geeks, but not in the same field. I was taught some time ago that there are science and math geeks (you can get more specific than that) in addition to computer geeks. The definition isn't limited. There were math and science geeks before there were computer geeks. I am interesed in geek guys but I know one thing for sure, he has to be someone that doesn't work in my field however one that compliments mine is fine. And I'm currently quite interesed in a coder while my field is engineering and it's been working out quite well so far. I knew for the longest time that I wouldn't want someone that's going to be working directly in the same field as me because there will be heated debates about methods in achieving the same ends. So I'm totally avoiding that. So to all those geeks searching for geeks, just remember that your dream geek might not be a computer geek that you're looking for in the end. There are others out there that might be better suited to you! ~~~NO CARRIER~~~ |
| Preposterous (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:33AM EST (#640) |
| Whether there is any truth in this article at all, it doesn't excuse the fact that it is as repugnant as the previous article on how women should not date nerds. Not that it is wrong, just that it preys on a lot of insecurities, and is selling a bill of goods. The "truths" about good looking women being bad in bed etc is the same as saying that all black men are lazy wellfare cheats. It is absolutely disgusting. |
| Bar are slashdotted (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:38AM EST (#641) |
| With this new information the bar and club are going to be slashdoted with a thick cloud of 2 inch glasses and pocket protecters. Tip #2 pocket protecters are outdated, they make an bad fashion statement, plus who needs ink pens when you have a palm pilot? |
| Your 1950's formula is crap, and here's why (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @08:40AM EST (#642) |
| Thats a bunch of crap, for alot of reasons. Programmers don't need a 'old fashioned girl' who will 'run the bath water for them' and 'cook for them all the time'. Thats called a slave. Your wife may be happy with that sort of thing, but i think someday she will step out of her trailer and smell the roses. Your job has nothing to do with how you manage your personal affairs, its about time. If you spend all day coding, web browsing, or polishing your car, it doesnt matter what you do, if you dont put the time and dedication to your lady you will eventually get shit on. Stop being so greedy and wake up!! Your woman is staying with you because she is scared to explore other options (for now). I was like this dude but im not ugly, i look mad good, and i have mad skills, and im telling you dont listen to this guy. His wife is probally screwing the milkman or some buck teethed hick that doesn't know any other way to live, other than pleasing a man. Your coding or admin life has nothing to do with your personal life. Girls want only one thing -- they want to be number #1. Make your best attempts to treat them that way. Take time out to buy roses, be spontaneous, and just open your eyes and notice how good you have it. If you have a good attitude like that, you will get girls and keep them!! Your views are so 50's, and they really reflect your age. Nowadays women have their own thing going on, just like you, and guess what! Just as important as your coding! If you find a girl that wants to be a personal slave; you are cheating in life. Rather than help her get her shit together, you are taking advantage of a girl with a low self esteem, probally with a past history of mental abuse from her parents. The fantastic thing about all this, is eventually another guy will come along and tell her this, and your kind will be obsolete. Get a clue. |
| Re:Your 1950's formula is crap, and here's why (Score:1) by JohnB (jbeimler{AT}co-op{DOT}com) on Monday October 25, @10:34PM EST (#725) (User Info) http://www.radiomind.com/john |
| Thank God. I posted before I read your comment and I just have to say that you restore my faith in men (besides my husband). |
| FUD :-) (Score:1) by BorgDrone on Monday October 25, @09:34AM EST (#652) (User Info) http://linuxhome.n3.net |
| This is plain old FUD, ther can't be more to life than computers, NO WAY!!! :-) --- Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean THEY are not out to get you |
| 45-year-old virgin (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:32AM EST (#656) |
| I've been a geek all my life and never managed to make it far with women. And I even have a degree from a Boston area tech school reknowned for computers and net zillionaires. Get your life priorities straight before it is too late. |
| It's the same as with software... (Score:1) by mortis (spoof@there.it.is) on Monday October 25, @10:33AM EST (#658) (User Info) http://www.voicenet.com/~mortis |
| Windows looks good on the outside, but try a long term relationship with it, and you're left feeling empty. Linux on the other hand is rich, complex, and you'll never stop learning about it. It's plain and functional on the inside, but you can still dress it up -- and at least for you, make it look better than windows ever could. The comparison fits for closed vs open source software. For the long term, you need communication, the ability to understand, and you need to keep learning. Dumb yourself down, run Windows. |
| Yawn... (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:44AM EST (#663) |
| Sorry guys, but if ANY of this came as a surprise to you, then you've got a lot of work to do.
I could go on, but I think Robin went on a bit too much to start with, so I'll try and avoid it. But really, if you learnt anything from this article, then I hope it was that Robin has some facination with tits, because the rest of the article was either entirely obvious or verging on ridiculous. And that's not surprising either, since no matter what Roblimo says, no one has the magic book, even old geeks who've gotten lucky :) I will disagree with one point though: I can't say 100 percent whether girls care about clothes (etc), but I do. And I have no problem with that. The choices we make about how we present ourselves externally refect who we are internally. Given two girls, one in a nice, clean, red dress with white spots, the other in loose khaki pants, and a 2nd hand yellow top, I'll take the 2nd one pretty much everytime. I like that style. And since I do know both these people (and several other of each style) I can say, that their appearance does reflect who they are. It's not a value judgement, I'm friends with both of them, but only one of them represents the attitudes that I'm looking for in a partner. Well I've rambled on enough. If you're still reading, then well done. Now go out and get a life... --Zod, (whose password doesn't seem to be working with Net+) |
| Girls are easy! (Score:1) by dedicke (dedicke@dontspamyahoo.com) on Monday October 25, @10:57AM EST (#666) (User Info) http://www.geocities.com/dedicke |
| I solved the problem of being lonely! I made a little dress fro my right hand, and little versions of a picnic setup, and other fun things. So I take my "date" on little mini dates, and there is usually a good chance that I will score! But sometimes I get her dress all messy. "Give me the luxuries of life and I will gladly do without the necessities..." - Frank Lloyd Wright |
| Find and Replace (Score:1) by imataion on Monday October 25, @11:13AM EST (#676) (User Info) |
| Here is a fun little trick. Just find all the male portions of grammar in a document, replace them with the female counterpart (another good trick is using “black” instead of "woman", or virtually any minority group), touch up a little here and there and see if the original document its still offensive. This test has worked for me a lot in the past to try to determine is what is being said is bigoted. I grew up in a “traditional” (that is to say rasist and sexist) household so its tough for me sometimes to see “others” points of view. If you wanna check it out go to this page. |
| Silent Majority (Score:1) by **SkipKent** (skipkent@usa.net) on Monday October 25, @11:32AM EST (#681) (User Info) http://www.mp3.com/music/Alternative/10658.html |
| As the Official Spokesperson for the Silent Majority, I just want to say that the article was Brilliant, Insightful and True on all counts. Well done! -kent You'll never hear surf music again... http://www.mp3.com/artists/11/the_projectiles.html |
| I think the same advice holds for 'geek girls' too (Score:1) by cananian (cananian@alumni.princeton.edu) on Monday October 25, @12:17PM EST (#687) (User Info) http://lesser-magoo.lcs.mit.edu/ |
| Really, if you ignore the gendered pronouns, I think the same basic advice applies to tech-oriented women, too. Having dated a marvelous tech-savvy slashdot reader --- who I still care a lot for --- I think I can safely say that women have as much trouble dating geeky guys as guys have dating them. Geek-geek relationships inevitably wind up in fights over the proper way to do XYZ in OS foo, or some such. [If both sides are fairly strong-willed --- as in my particular case --- you can just multiply the inevitable conflicts by an order of magnitude or so.] Find someone who you respect but don't feel compelled to compete with. If you're not artistically inclined, try to catch yourself a Nitrozac. If you are, then maybe Cmdr Taco is more your speed (w/ apologies to his coffee-cup art projects). You *don't* necessarily want to find someone just like you. Find someone who can be as passionate explaining just what it is they do as you are, explaining what it is that *you* do. I can almost guarantee that someone "just like you" will also have the same troubles at the same times you do --- when what you really want is someone who's strong when you're weak, and vice-versa. [Not to say you can't be friends --- good friends, even --- with folk "just like you"; just try not to expect them to be *different* than you when you're feeling low.] Discussion and flaming welcome... |
| Get a maid and a hooker, Rob..... (Score:1) by Threemoons (threeILOVEHORMELmoons@usa.net) on Monday October 25, @12:39PM EST (#690) (User Info) |
| Rob wrote (in part): "We need what are now called "old fashioned girls" who don't mind cooking our meals, rubbing our sore shoulders, and running our bath water for us." Byte me, Rob. What you want is a slave who's dumber than you. I'm a geek girl with a real life AND real talents who dates guys who don't feel threatened by me. What kind of crap sexist advice is this anyway? **To Email me, make me not love Hormel anymore.** |
| Women and Geeks (Score:1) by FuzzyAzurePenguin (a_linux_penguin@yahoo.com) on Monday October 25, @12:39PM EST (#691) (User Info) http://www.fortunecity.com/bally/minogues/255/ |
| I am woman. I love computers. I think the article was nice, but I have to say something about that first paragraph. I love computers. They take up a big part of my life. You can call me a geek. However, I love other things such as art, reading, languages, science, writing poetry, science, philosophy, Einstein. Who says I am incapable of taking care of a lovely geek guy? I must know how because I have been dating the same computer geek for five years and I madly in love with him as him with me. I think that I am pretty, attractive, and plain. I am plain in the sense that I refuse to wear makeup. It is garbage that in the long run ruins your skin. And thanks to not having ever worn makeup my complication is wonderful. I am bit hurt to hear that we should need to pamper men. Affection is something that is not a requirement. It is a natural giving to the one you love. Me and My boyfriend love each other deeply. We are best friends. We have times where neither of us requires affection. Sometimes just being around one another is enough. We don't disturb one another while we are doing something else. We give each other equal space. I will visit him when he is busy on the computer while he is doing his own thing just to be around him while I am doing something for myself. Just because I am a geek doesn't mean I don't have time for my favorite guy. I have taken care of him while he was sick risking myself to exposure. I have cooked for him because I wanted to be kind. He has done the same for me. However, don't expect me to be this doting housewife with a permanent smile embossed on my lips. I certainly don't think of the man as the breadwinner. People have to work together. Separatism only leads to frustration and sadness. I work to provide for myself, and we share with one another benefits of knowledge, kindness, money, and time. I am a very lucky woman. =) Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. |
| FORGET THE GEEK GIRLS?!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @01:23PM EST (#696) |
| Is he nuts?! If she's not a geek girl she'll wretch at the kind of stuff we geeks do. If you really want to appreciate what happens when a geek tries to date a non-geek girl, there are a few other similar things you can do: If you're black, try seeking admission in a White Aryan Resistance compound If you have a nasty leg wound and see a bunch of hungry tigersharks circling your boat, jump on in and say hi! If you're a Hassic Jew, take a trip abroad, and read the Torah in a bar in downtown Baghdad. Don't forget to dress up! The same thing will happen if you are a geek trying to date some 'hip' chick. Go ahead, it's your heart! Hope ya got a replacement! |
| advice for lovelorn geeks (Score:1) by webdoyenne on Monday October 25, @02:51PM EST (#697) (User Info) http://www.clearwater-fl.com |
| Well, I've cleaned spilled coffee off keyboards. I've cleaned spilled Diet Coke off keyboards. I've even cleaned spilled Pinot Grigio off keyboards (and picked out wine glass shards from between the keys with a tweezer). Now I gotta figure out how to clean HURL off a keyboard. |
| finding women (Score:1) by thingie on Monday October 25, @03:15PM EST (#699) (User Info) |
| remember that bars aren't the only place to meet women. i take dance lessons and find it a great place to meet women. if you do the beginners lessons women _expect_ you to be a lousy dance partner, so no experiance is necessary. it's also great for fitness (and heaps more fun than weights or the gym). |
| Female backlash? (Score:1) by f1r3br4nd (f1r3br4nd@hotmail.com) on Monday October 25, @05:08PM EST (#703) (User Info) |
| Notice the vindictive, angry, tirades coming from some female readers. Again and again, I see this self-righteousness surface anytime a man dares to frankly discuss women with fellow men. It reminds me of the male insecurities that come to the surface when said males are confronted with feminist venting. Oh, and I do feel that women do have a lot of legitimate grievances by the way, but being pissed that we judge you just as mercilessly and arbitrarily as you judge us is not one of them. |
| To be a Geek or Not to be a Geek (Score:1) by FuzzyAzurePenguin (a_linux_penguin@yahoo.com) on Monday October 25, @05:16PM EST (#704) (User Info) http://www.fortunecity.com/bally/minogues/255/ |
| This article really got me thinking. It is probably why I am writing another comment. Why does matter? You are who you are. However, I have read several opinions about this article that seem to claims something different. Clothes are an extension for some people. However, some people don't care about how they dress for others. It could be what ever is comfortable to them, and they don't even have to match. Some people just put something on and go. I already have a great fellow, but this is how this geekette rates guys for dating or relationship potential: 1. Personality -- Good Soul --Intelligence --Honesty --Humble --Confidence --Willingness to give to others --Natural affinity for caring --Goofy Sense of Humor --Appreciates nature --Reliable --Easy to talk to + some 2. Hygeine --sticky armpits & feet acceptable --any thing growing...not acceptable --bad breath --- no way eck! --limited clothing clothing stains 3. Smile --How can you beat a warm fuzzy? Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. |
| A "Geek Woman's" POV (Score:1) by Almohada on Monday October 25, @05:22PM EST (#705) (User Info) |
The blatant assumption on the part of the author that "geek" women aren't just as affectionate as the "non-geek" women is insulting. Simple because a woman understands computer related technology does not instantaneously render her incapable of giving and receiving affection. A "geek" woman is indeed just as capable of this feat, for understanding technology does not render a woman emotionally impotent as the author seems to imply. In fact, a "geek" woman would be more likely to understand her significant other's obsession with sitting in front of a machine for more than twelve hours a day than the "non-geek" woman. "Geek" women also tend to be fairly self-reliant and won't constantly nag at "geek" men to do things for her. While I understand that men appreciate being needed, being needed to help lift something or for company is different from being needed by some women to simply leave the house. The happy homemaker being described by the author is a rare commodity in this day and age. The woman who enjoys cooking and cleaning and a few moments with her significant other seems to have become a part of '50's television reruns and been replaced by the "modern" female. This woman, while she may enjoy cooking and/or cleaning, also enjoys skiing, working at a competitive job, and a myriad of other activities. Assuming that this '50's female is the end-all solution for every "geek" man is incredibly narrow-sighted on the part of the author. Comparing a woman's appearance to packaging is unflattering to say the least, and sometimes deceptive. I personally know many sweet, caring women who get dolled up and fawned over by many men, but are still looking for an equally sensitive Mr. Right. Assuming what a person's personality is based on appearance is incredibly shallow and shortsighted. While a good deal can be gleaned from a person's appearance,, narrowing their personality down based solely upon this is a major error on the part of anyone who does this. You might be missing out on "Ms. Right" by doing this. I don't completely disagree with what the author has stated. In fact, his advice on giving honest compliments and asking questions is right on the mark. The fact that he seems to think that "geek" guys should avoid considering dating a "geek" woman to seemingly avoid some kind of "geek" competition is rather off-base. Why can't you discuss computer hardware with a woman? Who knows, you might possibly discover during the course of discussing this that you have many other interests in common. |
| about the 50's dillemma (Score:1) by JohnB (jbeimler{AT}co-op{DOT}com) on Monday October 25, @05:43PM EST (#707) (User Info) http://www.radiomind.com/john |
| Some parts of this article were insightful, but I didn't like the 50's bent on it. I am married to a geek husband and have naturally gravitated to intelligent and creative men all of my life. I have dated some really honey boys, but, believe me, they don't compare. I think that it is a myth that men need women to totally coddle them so they can succeed. Just think about how good you will feel about yourself, how independent you will be, if you can do everything for yourself (including laundry). Sure we all have our sick and weak moments when we just want our mommies. Don't forget that you have to love that girl in return and part of that is cuddling her and helping her out with her life goals, too. If not, it's not really love, it's, well, being selfish. And, believe me, women are turned off by that. Has anyone else noticed that people are longing for the old days when relationships were simpler (i.e. the 50s)? Well, a whole lot of housewives were alcoholics then, but that's beside the point. This is the 90's. I want to be known as a person, not as a servile object. I want to succeed and I want my husband to succeed and we can accomplish both. The world is changing, the rules are changing, and we are risk takers. Why can't we change the rules and forget about what makes us comfortable, and make ourselves great? Let's face it, it doesn't matter what you do to most women. It matters who you are, the passion you have for life, the caring you have for others, oh, and a little reading about tantric sex is good. It's funny what happens when you stop thinking about yourself - the world opens up. |
| Geeks for geeks? Sure, why not... (Score:1) by whocares (grey@enigma.mips4.com) on Monday October 25, @06:36PM EST (#709) (User Info) |
| Obviously, everyone has their own ideals about the opposite sex - personally, I've always been attracted to skinny geek boys with a CRT tan. Seriously! I'm sitting naked next to one right now, dually basking in the glow of our laptop screens. Nothing wrong with geeks seeking each other out - consider who you're surrounded by at work and at play - probably other geeks. Common interests are a great way to get to know someone... browsing through the networking books section of a local bookstore ain't a bad date. :) Point being, don't write off the possibility of finding love in unlikely places. Like the datacenter. Especially the datacenter. Mmmmn. The entire dating scene is ugly and bad anyway. :) |
| Here comes 2 pennies... (Score:1) by Dijital (commanderlatoni@hotmail.com) on Monday October 25, @09:39PM EST (#714) (User Info) |
Here's my 2 cents... No one can tell you who is or isn't going to be mrs/mr right. No one can. If there were some all knowing person who could tell you, you can bet he'd've hopped a plane to Hawii with Mrs Right and be livin' the good life, but I digress... About the most anyone can tell you is this: ** Warning: The following is my opinion..**
Dijital "Life was simple, and then there was Microsoft..." |
| Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:29PM EST (#716) |
| This is a troll |
| Re:Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:29PM EST (#717) |
| Damn troll. Stop it! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:29PM EST (#718) |
| No way, what the heck! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:30PM EST (#719) |
| Grrrr.... it's like you're trying to post so that this story makes it into the hall of fame or something! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:30PM EST (#720) |
| Uh, something like that, I guess... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:30PM EST (#721) |
| Well just stop it! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:32PM EST (#722) |
| Just 37 more comments! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:32PM EST (#723) |
| Dude, you're sick... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @10:32PM EST (#724) |
| Hehehe...35! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @10:09AM EST (#732) |
| Hey, others have been helping us, too, my precious... Only 26 more comments needed, methinks.. |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:28PM EST (#733) |
| 25... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:28PM EST (#734) |
| 24... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:29PM EST (#735) |
| 23... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:30PM EST (#736) |
| 22... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:34PM EST (#737) |
| Stop stop stop! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:37PM EST (#738) |
| 20... hah you suck! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:41PM EST (#739) |
| 19... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:41PM EST (#740) |
| 18... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:47PM EST (#741) |
| 17... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:50PM EST (#742) |
| 16... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:53PM EST (#743) |
| 15... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:54PM EST (#744) |
| 14... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:54PM EST (#745) |
| 12... psych! It's 13. |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:55PM EST (#746) |
| 12... really |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:55PM EST (#747) |
| 11... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:55PM EST (#748) |
| 10! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:55PM EST (#749) |
| 9! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:55PM EST (#750) |
| 8!! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:55PM EST (#751) |
| 7!! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:56PM EST (#752) |
| 6!!! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:57PM EST (#753) |
| 5 |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:57PM EST (#754) |
| 4 |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:57PM EST (#755) |
| 3............... |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:57PM EST (#756) |
| 2.............................. |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:58PM EST (#757) |
| 1............................................. |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:58PM EST (#758) |
| Zero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:59PM EST (#759) |
| We have a winner!!!! Go Roblimo!!!! |
| Re: Troll (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 26, @12:59PM EST (#760) |
| We have a winner!!!! Go Roblimo!!!! |
| Way Too Complicated (Score:1) by Ralph Bearpark on Thursday October 28, @01:07AM EST (#768) (User Info) |
| Think I'll stick to following John Smith's The Complete Guide of Laying a Girl v1.1. (I mean, it's gotta work one day.) Regards, Ralph. |
| Re:What about gay geeks? (Score:2, Informative) by roblimo (roblimo.nojunk@slashdot.org) on Sunday October 24, @11:30AM EST (#13) (User Info) http://andovernews.com/bio_miller.html |
| I have no personal experience with gay relationships so I didn't get into them in this article, but from what gay friends tell me, things are pretty much the same. Just change the wording a little. Ditto for heterosexual female geeks. ;) - Robin |
| Re:What about gay geeks? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:38AM EST (#24) |
| Very True... I have experience with attempting to date other gay geeks, and I have to agree with your point. It just doesn't work. It's somewhat akin to dating a coworker. Corey mille542@msu.edu |
| Re:What about gay geeks? (Score:1) by bluescreen (josh@lag.net) on Sunday October 24, @04:23PM EST (#324) (User Info) |
| Geek Pride! Im gay too and so far, I've had much better luck with gay geeks instead of non-geeks. The way I look at it, the more important part of boyfriend (or girlfriend) is the friend part. For me, I have better friendships with geeks than non geeks. So, its no surprise that I do better with geeks. |
| must you be so immature?? (Score:1, Insightful) by TheAB (abab@NOSPAM.poboxes.NOSPAM.com) on Sunday October 24, @11:38AM EST (#22) (User Info) |
| C'mon. really. My money's on mille having never even heard of slashdot, and you're of the 5 to Idiot age range so you post the address to be funny. I'm not laughing. |
| Re:must you be so immature?? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @11:41AM EST (#29) |
| I am being completely honest.. I read slashdot every day, but never have felt a need to post, so never bothered to set up an account. I was merely pointing out that not all male geeks are straight, as the article seemed to assume. Corey |
| Re:What about gay geeks? (Score:1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:21PM EST (#94) |
| Coming from a female, bigotry and discrimination is generally VERY looked down upon by all females. |
| Re:What about gay geeks? (Score:1) by CryptdotX on Sunday October 24, @12:34PM EST (#112) (User Info) http://home1.gte.net/crypt |
| Except the ones who are homophobic. |
| Re:What about gay geeks? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @08:39PM EST (#449) |
| Out of curiosity, if girls look down so much on bigotry and all that, why do they never intervene when their stupid bigoted boyfriends and friends call other people "fags" and the like? Seriously, speaking as a bi person that goes through every day hearing "that's so gay," in reference to something bad, or hearing people called fags, I have to wonder why no girl has ever spoken up against that sort of thing in my presence...is it that they're scared, or do they simply have the same apathetic bigoted attitude as everyone else? -W.W. |
| Re:What about gay geeks? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 25, @12:27AM EST (#551) |
| I'm in the same position as you, but when people use the term "gay" like that, I take it in the sense that they meant it. They weren't talking about homosexuality at all - they just use the term because it's grown a seperate meaning. it's too bad that the word has to be used this way, but you can't get mad at someone for using a word for what they've accepted it to mean. If tomorrow the word "nigger" came to mean "good", then I would use it (maybe) |
| very, very intelligent. (Score:1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @12:57PM EST (#147) |
| hahaha. thats why i read this string, the inevitable homo joke. but really now, if i could only reach, you can bet i would be doing what you suggest, with no change to my heterosexual status. and no, i wouldn't swallow. ;) so go jump off a bridge you bigot prude. I'm from Canada and I'm scared of bigotspam. -AC |
| Re:What about gay geeks? (Score:1) by Field Marshall Stack (hiwayremovethisbitok?@wport.com) on Sunday October 24, @01:13PM EST (#173) (User Info) |
| Go blow yourself dumb faggot I hope someone has the moderator points to knock you into next thursday...I wish I did...someone, please kill this nasty little troll...please... |
| Is that a good idea? (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @10:59PM EST (#509) |
| Frankly, bigots almost invariably habor a sense of persecution. (This is doubly true when they're a privileged majority, don't ask me why. I'd guess that it's something to do with the psychopathology of bigotry itself.) If you moderate them down, pass laws against them, ban their books, etc., you just feed that sense of persecution by providing them with "evidence" which "proves" that the group they fear really does secretly control society. This does not discourage them one damn bit. To the contrary, it makes them feel even more justified in their irrational beliefs, and they can use that "evidence" to gain converts among fence-sitters. Am I talking about the Bill of Rights here? No. As it happens, the First Amendment thing does not apply to Rob Malda's decisions about how to run the moderation scheme on Slashdot. The First Amendment forbids the government to interfere with that moderation scheme, but Slashdot is legally entitled to "cencor" itself any damn way it pleases. This is called "private property". In short, you have a perfect and absolute legal right under the Constitution to moderate that moron down as far as you can -- although I personally am not certain that it's a wise thing to do. Right-wingers generally don't understand that, by the way. I recall that some vegetarian site was invaded by right-wing trolls (from "Free" [sic] "Republic" [sic], IIRC) a year or so ago, and when the site maintainers started deleting the troll posts, the trolls went apeshit about their "first amendment" "right" to clog somebody else's server with their crap. Was the server paid for by the government? No. It was private property. Was it the private property of the trolls? No. Nevertheless, these noble champions of free enterprise felt that this privately-owned site was legally and morally obligated to provide them with free disk space and bandwidth. Such is the degenerate state of the American educational system. IIRC, the right-wing morons ended up hacking the vegetarian site. These right-wing shriekers and squealers about "freedom" have a lot more in common with the Cultural Revolution in China than they have with Thomas Jefferson. They're cheap thugs. Anyway, to make a long story short: The urge to moderate homophobes is based on a disgust with homophobia (which disgust is IMHO a Good Thing) and/or on a desire to create an atmosphere in which morons don't make arbitrarily chosen people feel unwelcome (which is also a Good Thing -- if the homophobes end up feeling unwelcome, well that's a bummer, but "he who lives by the sword" and all that, right? They clearly think it's okay to hassle strangers for arbitrary reasons, so they have no right to complain when it happens to them). Uh, yeah. The impetus to moderate these people is commendable by any normal standards, but is it wise? Does that mean we should go ahead and do it? I dunno. There's room for doubt. |
| Re:roblimo (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:30PM EST (#333) |
| your brain has been replaced with poo and farts |
| Re:What about zoophilic geeks (was: gay geeks?) (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:39PM EST (#339) |
| *bark* *bow-wow* |
| Re:roblimo (Score:0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 24, @04:49PM EST (#346) |
| Wow, your comment was like so interesting. I guess you really showed him. I'm glad we have such insightful 12 year olds here on slashdot. One day you might actually get a clue. In case you hadn't noticed, the article has generated quite a few posts (and lots of hits & ad impressions) for slashdot. It even sparked a little emotional debate. Agree or disagree, I guess you could say that the article was provocative. Provocative articles that get lots of hits and responsive are a good thing for a web site, and people that can post these kind of articles would seem to have a pretty decent future. All of this should be pretty obvious. |
Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion. -- Oscar Wilde